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Developing Your Mindset for Reasons in Seasons (Pt. 2)
By Tolulope A. Adegoke
“Adversity is known to the wise as a weapon or a tool which we must manipulate and engage to build our “muscles” in all spheres of life in a bid to bear the “weights” of glory. It is our responsibility to be responsible at all times, most especially in trying moments, and never to give excuses for not fulfilling the mandate of MANifestation, the intents of the Maker, God Almighty! I need you to understand clearly that an excuse is a beautiful way of describing why you have failed to MANifest at any given task or opportunity! I charge you to be responsible by engaging your gifts which have been lavished into you by the Maker to MANifest the Great Light (solutions) in the gloomy days of the world, and never to take credit or glory for it but to the Giver, The Maker, who is the Greatest!” – Tolulope A. Adegoke, PhD., FIMC, CMC, CMS, CIV, MNIM
It would be best if you never judged your success by other people’s accolades. You should only judge your success by God’s instruction for your life and how well you are with those instructions, because I have found out something in life that the average human being in life is so mediocre that to be a genius, just to do a little extra. People are so normal, but to be an expert, just go one inch abnormal, and they will think you are great. So, don’t judge your successes by what the masses think of you, but by what God told you to do. When experience is your best teacher, then progress is imprisoned. Experience could be a curse. Dr. Myles Monroe (of blessed memory) mentioned in one of his teachings, “I have been taught by my parent years ago, that experience is the best teacher, I don’t believe that anymore.
Experience could cause you to stop progressing, because you keep judging your dreams by your what you have been through, and you end saying, I tried that before, or I never saw anyone do it that way, then you begin to use those encounters to stop your progress.” That is why God always make history with young people, old people have got too much experience. You all remember the story of David and Goliath? The problem with Saul who was king at that time was that he had experiences, and he tried to put them on David. He told David, wear my armour, carry the burden of my shield, use my sword, use them to fight your own battle(s). And David puts it on and says these things are just too heavy, such that, he dropped them at the feet of Saul. David then went out and fought the giant with something the giant had never seen before.
How do you fight a sword with a rock? The giant says. What is this thing he’s using? How will you bring a stone to a battle of steel; a sling to a battle of sophisticated, experienced and award-winning sword?! The giant is highly trained, and experienced with the sword, to the Philistines, his sword was legendary, so he was expecting an experienced sword-man to come and fight him, but here comes a little boy with just an equipment the giant hasn’t seen before. Honestly, we simply need some people like that (David) in this generation, in this century of ours who would defy the traditions, break the norm, conquer the odds, and come out with something the world has never seen at the office, in the community and nations; people that would think of some ideas that will wreck the whole system. That’s why Steve Jobs will always be in the top place of history as a great inventor. He keeps defying his own experience. While watching a documentary about him some years ago, it was said that when the iPhone came out, they said to him “That’s it! You are the ultimate, this is it!”, but he responded by saying “No! there’s more”, and he came up with this idea about the iPad. And he mentioned that the people in the company said that it would never work! Why? It’s an abnormal size. A size that hasn’t been seen before. It is either you get a computer or an iPhone. As for the phone, it’s either you put it in a pocket or briefcase, but seeing this thing in the middle (iPad) isn’t going to work. Steve Jobs says, “Look, we are going to make this.” Now, the iPad is (one) of the most common machinery people make use of in the world! Sometimes, you have just got to defy your own board to take or make progress! As for experience, you are permitted to consult it, but never allow it (experience) to rule you.
William Shakespeare says, “Sweet are the uses of adversity… he says, you must learn to use adversity for your benefit.” One of the wealthiest men in the United States of America wrote a book titled “Cheaters Never Win.” He’s a multi-billionaire; he probably has products that almost everyone in the world uses. He is the largest manufacturer of plastics, paper, cups, plates and forks in the world. The company is called “The Huntsman Enterprise”, here is what he says in his book, “ if there is a silver lining to bad times, it means that, when facing severe challenges, your mind is normally at its sharpest.” I wonder why he’s a billionaire. When facing challenges, he says your mind kicks and thinks beyond the norm. He also stated some fact that I find very interesting which is that “humans seldom have created anything of value unless they were tried or hurting”; and I simply interpret the statement as benefits of crisis. I have concluded that adversity is a weapon or a tool that we must engage to build our “muscles” in a bid to bear the “weights” (responsibilities or demands) of glory.
Many people don’t even recognize that “glory” is a weight. It isn’t just a blessing, but purposeful responsibility on our shoulders to respond to and with the abilities created within us as HUMAN to MANifest Ab(ove)-normally, because the creations are waiting for the MANifestation of the Sons of God! (as seen in the Holy Book of Life – Romans 8:19). It is our responsibility to shine (reflect or MANifest) the Great Living Light to the world in their gloomy days. That’s why we have been charged never to sleep on purpose, never to sleep on the abilities lavished upon us by God, by responding with these abilities (Light) to meeting the goodly and Godly needs of Mankind and his environment.
Adversity is known to the wise as a weapon or a tool which we (must) manipulate and engage to build our “muscles” in all spheres of life in a bid to bear the “weights” of glory. It is our responsibility to be responsible at all times, most especially in trying moments, and never to give excuses for not fulfilling the mandate of MANifestation, the intents of the Maker, God Almighty! I need you to understand clearly that an excuse is a beautiful way of describing why you have failed to MANifest at any given task or opportunity! I charge you to be responsible by engaging your gifts which have been lavished into you by the Maker to MANifest the Great Light (solutions) in the gloomy days of the world, and never to take credit or glory for it but to the Giver, The Maker, who is the Greatest! Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in Heaven (Matthew 5:16); For we have this treasure (abilities/solutions) in earthen vessels (us), that the excellency of the power (MANifestation) may be of God, and not of us, that He may be better known (revealed) to the world through us – 2Corinthians 4:7-10. This is why you are supposed to be a greater leader, a better leader because your skills must be tested. Put in another way, Abraham Lincoln was an amazing personality, he became the greatest president in the midst of trials. Today, many sages are convinced that he’s the greatest of the United States in history, because, he used adversity to create a federation that lasted over 300 years and still working, but it came out of the heat of crisis.
Dr Myles Monroe’s (of blessed memory) definition of leadership is straightforward, yet complicated, “leadership is the capacity to influence others through inspiration, not manipulation, and that inspiration comes from a passion which is motivated by a sense of vision, sense of purpose. So, leadership isn’t something that you pursue, but something you discover. Leaders are born when human discovers something much more important than their personal ambition. True leaders do not seek followers; leaders are actually pursuing a passion towards a purpose that gives them a sense of destiny! The likes of Nelson Mandela, former President of South Africa never sought followers. He discovered a purpose that was much more important than his private preservation and private ambition. He pursued his purpose privately and then attracted people. Leaders are more concerned about discovering a purpose for improving the life of humanity, which is much more important than their personal ambition. So, they sacrifice themselves to accomplish something for the greater good. We find that very rarely. Most people we call leaders are simply professional manipulators. And they actually are more concerned about their promotion than promoting the well-being of the people. We are simply the product of everything that we have been through! The best for us isn’t to regret or try to change what happened but to interpret it properly, maximize it and use it to serve other people. Arise and shine! It is simply an instruction from the Holy Book of Life in Isaiah 60:1 to MAN up! MANifest and show up! See others through, and not see through them in their gloomy days…and that’s simply leadership! Take responsibility responsibly!
Dr. Tolulope A. Adegoke is an accredited ISO 20700 Effective Leadership Management Trainer.
The FCT Police Command says it has arrested the lawmaker representing Aba North and South Federal Constituency of Abia State in the House of Representatives, Hon. Alexander Ikwechegh for allegedly assaulting a Bolt driver identified as Mr. Stephen Abuwatseya and making derogatory comment on the office of the Inspector General of Police.
A statement on Monday by the Spokesperson of the FCT Police Command, SP Josephine Adeh said the Command received a report at the Maitama Divisional Headquarters regarding an incident involving Mr. Abuwatseya and Hon. Alexander Ikwechegh.
“Preliminary investigations indicate that Mr. Abuwatseya was delivering a package to Hon. Ikwegh when a dispute arose concerning the method of delivery. During this altercation, Mr. Abuwatseya was reportedly physically assaulted.
“The FCT Police Command expresses grave concern over Hon. Ikwechegh’s dismissive attitude toward the office of the Inspector General of Police following the incident.
“After allegedly slapping the victim, he reportedly remarked with contempt, “You can go ahead and call the Inspector General of Police,” demonstrating a troubling disregard for the authority of law enforcement.
“Currently, the suspect is at the Maitama Police Station undergoing questioning,” the FCT police image maker said.
She added that the FCT Commissioner of Police, CP Olatunji Disu has mandated a thorough investigation into the matter while assuring of the Command’s commitment to conducting an impartial investigation and ensuring justice in all cases.
Police said appropriate legal action will be taken upon completion of the investigation.
The Zone 2 Command Headquarters under the leadership of AIG Adegoke M. Fayoade, has held a lecture on measuring gender-related killings of women and girls (femicides), with a view to presenting recommendations for data systems improvement, advocacy and Action.
The lecture, which was held at the MD Abubakar Conference Hall, Zone 2 Command Headquarters, Onikan, Lagos, was was presided over by AIG Fayoade with senior personnel in attendance.
The presentation, according to a statement by the Zone’s Public Relations Officer, SP Ayuba Ummah, and made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP), was an awareness and training programme, which aims at closing the statistical gap and establish a framework for measuring femicides within the Nigeria Police Force and relevant stakeholders to enhance policy making in ending this brutal manifestation of Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) as well as provide a comparable data for global reference.
During the lecture, the Force Pathologist, ACP (Dr.) Samuel Keshinro, spoke on “Measuring Gender-related Killing of Women and Girls (femicides) in Lagos State to Present Recommendations for Data Systems Improvements, Advocacy and Action” focusing on the importance of data collection to assess the burden of femicide according to the framework of the International Classification of Crime for Statistical Purposes (ICCS). The ICCS is a classification of criminal offences developed by the UN based on internationally agreed concepts, definitions and principles to enhance the consistency and international comparability of crime statistics and improve analytical capabilities at both the national and international levels.
At the presentation, Dr Keshinro cited the Spotlight Initiative (the United Nations high-impact initiative to end violence against women and girls) on VAWG stating that one in three women experience sexual, physical, and psychological abuse including victims of trafficking, or violent social norms. The pervasiveness of VAWG which is a subset of GBV that specifically targets females are perpetrated by intimate partners i.e. Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) which includes husbands, boyfriend, ex-husband and ex-boyfriends causing sexual, physical, and psychological harm to the female gender. The extreme form of VAWG that causes death is called FEMICIDE defined by the UN as the intentional killing of a woman or a girl with a gender-related motivation.
Dear Destiny Friends,
The best helping hand you will ever find is at the end of your own arm – John Mason
One of the best forms of love, if not the best, is self-love. The ultimate truth is that apart from the creator, nobody can love you more than you can love yourself.
As human beings, sometimes, we depend on other people’s love to feel loved. Some people even desire social media and online love just to be accepted into the society. No doubt, everyone loves attention and approval.
Everyone loves to be accepted, appreciated, and recognized, but some of us are not ready to do the needful to attract the desired attention. The simple truth about life is that nobody can give you attention, neither will anyone give you recognition if you have not given them a reason to do so. So, one needs to help themselves before other people can help them.
Helping yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. When you help yourself, the joy hits differently. Helping yourself is not limited to adding value to your life. Did you know that self-care is a lifestyle, and it is one of the ways to help your life. Some of the ways self-care can help your life are engaging in regular exercise, eating healthy, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and sleeping well. Self-help also involves taking care of your mental, emotional, physical, environment, recreational, financial, social, physical, and spiritual needs.
Did you know that practicing simple self-care activities can help one achieve greater mental clarity, and gain a better understanding of their feelings?
Helping oneself is okay so long as it doesn’t involve unlawful actions or breach of peace. It’s sad to see people engage in illegality just to get what they want.
Those that depend on fellow human beings for help might be disappointed. Even though they may not have the intention to fail you, life sometimes, happens. They too might be going through personal challenges. Always leave a space in your heart to forgive or overlook when supposed friends, mentors, family members, mentors and benefactors don’t come through for you.
The sad reality of life is that, most times, we like to receive from resourceful persons, but we don’t seem to ask who will give to them. Do you think manna will fall from heaven for them? No. They must find creative ways to make ends meet. One of my mentors once stated, ‘you can work alone, but you can’t eat alone’.
What you don’t know is that these resourceful people were able to help themselves. That’s why they were able to get assistance from established institutions and resourceful people. Some of them might have had a business plans which they pitched to a team of panelists. Some developed programmes, sowed seeds, traveled far and wide and made mistakes while searching for the right path. These are some ways of helping oneself.
I have always stated, we all go through a secret frustration which nobody knows. For a fact, it is easier for people to assist you when you have added adequate value to your life. When you do, people won’t see you as a liability, rather, they will see you as a resource being.
In my journey towards life, I have realized that when you have a mentor or leader you respect, your ability to do the work will enable them to put the icing on the cake. I vividly remember when I published my first book, I had to reach out to Dr. Chief Dele Momodu to write the Foreword to my book. He was kind enough to accept my request. Imagine, if I had not written the book, the opportunity wouldn’t have arisen.
Now, you see that I was able to help myself before help came through. Isn’t it true that heaven helps those who help themselves.
In contemporary times, sometimes, we hope and rely on family members, friends, mentors, associates, mentees, benefactors and more, to help our craft just because we feel and think they are in a better position to assist us, depending on their position or status, but the reality is that sometimes we ask people things that are beyond them and when they refuse to assist, we feel offended.
One of my mentors, Dr. Yomi Garnett, rightly stated as follows, “So your aunt won’t help you financially. Your well-connected uncle won’t give you an introductory note to his minister-friend. Refuse to despise or resent them. Forgive them. Make excuses for them, such as they have enough challenges of their own. Then promptly take responsibility for your own life and your own success by asking God to show you His way.”
I can relate to Dr. Garnett’s statement because, in the past, I have tried to reach some people, some I shared my programmes for consideration, while others came via introduction. In most of these engagements, I couldn’t get what I wanted either because I didn’t come prepared, or was yet to develop the required capacity and competence to execute the task. However, when I developed expertise, they came for me, and in some cases, I was highly recommended. This is the reality of life; people generally love ripe fruits as opposed to unripe fruits which don’t taste nice.
During my formative years, I depended on people to the extent I feel entitled for their support because I felt they were rich, wealthy, and highly connected. I didn’t realize life doesn’t work that way. It was much later in life I realized that it will be easier for them to share their network and net worth with me when I have helped myself. As a matter of fact, that has become my fate because I have had opportunities to relate and work closely with some of my benefactors.
Today, I charge you to make an intentional effort to help yourself. Give your life a meaning. Stop complaining and start to take action to change the course of your life. You are not alone in this struggle; we are all in it together. Remember, nobody can write your story more than you and if you don’t talk about yourself, nobody will talk about you.
In conclusion, endeavor to help yourself so others can help you.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
