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Food for Living: Appreciate Your Detractors
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is pleasing everyone”
Life has many twists and turns. The ability to successfully navigate them will usher any individual into a whole new dimension of existence. This is because sometimes, when we experience misfortunes, we think there’s a force working against us, yes, it might be true to some extent, but the truth is, it might be something totally unrelated to what one might be thinking. One’s mindset has a way of deceiving then, especially when they are not properly informed.
Whenever we experience misfortunes, or life doesn’t seem to align with our plans, expectations and desires, consider thinking out of the box to know what happened, instead of apportioning blame.
For instance, ask yourself if you made a mistake; if the answer is yes, find out if you could have done differently. Again, did someone contribute to it or masterminded the act; was it a natural cause; was it because of a government policy; was it a case of Karma working against you; or is a case of detractors trying to set you up for failure. One’s ability to decipher the right answers to these questions will go a long way to fixing the issue.
For the sake of this article, we shall focus on detractors to x-ray their role in orchestrating one’s destiny. It’s generally normal for us to hate our enemies or anyone who has a negative vibe or energy towards us, but the truth remains that everyone we meet in life has a role the universe or destiny has planted or positioned them to play. The ability to know this truth will go a long way towards appreciating life.
It should be known that detractors are not as bad as they appear, yes. Some may be bad, agreed, but some are there to help us do better. Isn’t it true that only our true friends will drive us to do better? Whenever a mentor, friend, parent, supervisor, benefactor, or even your enemy admonishes you, please don’t take it personal. Look at their intent as opposed to their words.
My beloved mother will always say, when someone is speaking, always look at their heart as opposed to their words. Words can literally mean nothing if our actions don’t correlate with our words.
But when the criticism is from a place of disrespect or disdain, consider removing yourself from that space until the person receives sense. According to Uche Okorie, a Maritime lawyer, “When you are criticized objectively, examine it. If it is untrue, ignore it. If it is unfair, resist the temptation to be irritated. If it is ignorant, just smile. If it is justified, then it is NOT criticism, LEARN FROM IT!
It’s only myopic and uninformed minds that will take corrections from a negative perspective. Progressive minds welcome constructive criticism because it serves as a second eye for them. It is sad to see people who should appreciate the role of detractors in their life acting funny because they allow their ego to rule them. Hear this from me, if you have someone who will correct you on the right way, and because you feel you don’t like the person, or the person is younger than you, or whatever reason you have, you are actually doing yourself a disservice because if you had taken the opportunity to learn, maybe an opportunity would have popped out in the nearest future.
On a personal note, I have experienced detractors in my life when I was serving as the Public Relations Officer for the Nigerian Lawyers Association. Let me make this disclosure; my detractors were right in their concerns because my writing skills were indeed horrible at the said time, however, what I didn’t really like was the approach they used in correcting me. It came across to me in a sarcastic, derogatory and disdainful manner to the extent I almost felt like leaving the association, but for the influence of mentors who I regard as life savers, I was able to manage the situation and today, when I reference back, I’m glad I didn’t resign. The whole experience has really shaped my approach and outlook to life, especially when I mentor the younger generation and relate with people who ordinarily think life has no space for them.
Here’s my advice, please stop hating your enemies, they will make you stronger, especially when they want to see you fail. Your detractors have a role to play in your life. Without them, your life would be depressingly boring. You might not be inspired to do better. For instance, one of my driving forces was being told I was a horrible writer, and life might not be easy for me to live in America. I was even told to consider going back to Nigeria. All these I guess, came from a place of love if you look at my situation at the said time, but guess what, man is not God because nobody knows tomorrow.
If I was told I will have two books to my name and a co-author to another book, I won’t believe it. Maybe God has used the books to send a subtle message to my detractors. Furthermore, a horrible writer is now a prolific writer, who is read globally every week.
Let me ask you, what would Tom be without Jerry? How interesting will a James Bond movie be without a villain? If not for satan, many of us will not be serving God. If not for the lion that runs fast, the antelope would not run faster.
Let’s take it a little further, there was a race I watched where Usain Bolt was running, he was looking at his colleagues while sprinting because they were inspiring him to run faster, when he looks back, and sees his rival closing in, he runs faster. Without his opponents, Usain Bolt wouldn’t have broken records. The moral here is that our enemies are as essential to us as oxygen is to life. Without them, one may never fulfil their potential or life’s purpose.
In conclusion, as you journey through, and experience life, always see your detractors as the necessary evil you can’t avoid on your way to success.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A former Minister of Special Duties and Inter-Governmental Affairs, Kabiru Turaki (SAN), has been arraigned before a Magistrate Court at Zone 2 in Abuja on allegations bordering on false marriage, adultery, among others.
Turaki pleaded not guilty when the First Information Report (FIR) was read to him in the dock on Thursday before the presiding Magistrate of Court 9, Abubakar Jega.
He insisted that the alleged offences are not true.
According to the FIR, the former minister is accused of “deceitfully inducing belief of lawful marriage, adultery by a man and criminal intimidation, contrary to sections 383, 387 and 389 of the Penal Code.”
The prosecution stated that the investigation of the case followed a petition dated August 9, 2024, received by the Deputy Inspector General of Police, Force FCID, Abuja.
It further stated that the investigation revealed that “you Barrister Kabiru Taminu Turaki (SAN), between December 2014 and August 2016, deceitfully cohabited Ms. Hadiza Musa Bafta at a hotel called Han’s Place.
“You also co-habited her at Ideal Home Holiday, Asokoro between August 2016 and November 2021.
“You hired a place for her at No. 12 Clement Akpagbo Close, Gauzape from November 2021 and made her believe you were married to her and continuously had sexual intercourse with her, which resulted to a baby girl.
“You abandoned Hadiza Musa Baffa with her only child and denied the paternity. You threatened to use your influence and position to terminate the lives of mother and child.
“You are thereby suspected to have committed the above offences.”
Shortly after Turaki:s arraignment, the prosecuting lawyer , Chijioke Okorie urged the court to set a date for the commencement of trial.
Turaki’s lawyer, A. I. Mohammed, who did not object to the prosecution’s request for a date for trial, applied for bail for the defendant on the grounds that he would be available whenever he is required to attend court.
Magistrate Jega granted bail to Turaki at N1million with two sureties in like sum.
He said the sureties must reside within the court’s jurisdiction and must provide evidence of the residences.
The magistrate then adjourned to March 11 for the commencement of trial.
The Anambra State Police Command has confirmed the arrest of nine suspects “actively involved” in the murder of a member of the Anambra State House of Assembly, Justice Azuka.
The arrest of the suspects was confirmed by the Commissioner of Police in Anambra State, Nnaghe Itam, during a press briefing on Friday.
Azuka, a member representing Onitsha North Constituency 1 in the State legislature, was abducted on December 24, 2024 in Onitsha.
His decomposing body was discovered on the 2nd Niger Bridge on Thursday by a combined security team including the police and vigilante.
The Police Commissioner disclosed that two pump action guns were recovered from the suspects following their arrest, adding that one of the suspects sustained a gunshot injury in his leg during a gun duel with the police operatives.
The arrested suspects according to the CP include: Ugochukwu Onuorah aged 30 years, Ikemefuna Ossai aged 20 years, Ikenna Orugu aged 27 years, Chibuike Obiefuna aged 19 years, Chinonso Olisa aged 19 years, Chinedu Okoli aged 21 years, David Ojini aged 25 years and the most notorious of them, one Peter Sunday aged 20 years with a big tattoo inscription of No peace 4 d Government on his chest.
CP Itam further disclosed that police operatives have also successfully arrested one Chidiebere Nwosu, a kidnap suspect in Uruagu, Nnewi and neutralised some of his gang members who were involved in the attack of Police personnel attached to the Rapid Response Squad after a successful arrest on 3rd October 2024.
“We have also neutralised more than one hundred (100) notorious criminals and successfully destroyed many criminal camps in Ufuma, Eziowelle, Achalla, Ogbaru and several other places in the State.
He expressed gratitude to the Inspector-General of Police, Kayode Egbetokun, for his guidance and overall support, and also appreciated the governor of Anambra State, Prof Chukwuma Soludo, sister Agencies, the Media, residents of the State, Anambra State Vigilante operatives, Civil Society Groups, Organizations and many others for their unflinching support within the months that he has spent in the State as the Commissioner of Police.
He assured that the confidence reposed on the police and other security agencies for the protection of the lives and properties of residents is not to be taken for granted.
The Federal government has announced the scrapping of all Junior Secondary School (JSS) and Senior Secondary Schools in the country and introduced a compulsory 12-year uninterrupted basic education model, after which a Nigerian child can aspire to higher education.
With this development, the government is seeking the abolition of 6-3-3-4 education system and replacing it with 12-4.
The government also directed the National Council on Education to officially adopt 16 years as the minimum entry age requirement into the country’s tertiary institutions.
The Minister of Education, Dr Tunji Alausa, revealed this on Thursday in Abuja during the 2025 extraordinary National Council on Education meeting.
The NCE is the highest policy-making body in the education sector.
The event was attended by commissioners for education in the 36 states and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), agencies and parastatals under the ministry, and development partners.
According to the minister, by subsuming secondary education into basic education, students will benefit from uninterrupted learning up to the age of 16.
Alausa said the new policy is in line with global best practices.
The reform, he stressed, will also reduce dropout rates by eliminating financial and systemic barriers that currently prevent students from completing secondary education.
“Extending basic education to 12 years will ensure a standardized curriculum that is uniformly implemented across the nation,” Alausa said.
“This will also facilitate early exposure to vocational and entrepreneurial skills, preparing students for both higher education and employment.
“Many developed nations have implemented similar systems where basic education spans 12 years, ensuring that students acquire foundational knowledge before specializing at tertiary levels.
“This reform also aligns Nigeria’s education system with international standards, fostering better educational outcomes and global competitiveness.”
He said it will also lead to economic and social impact, adding that “Educated youth contribute significantly to national development.
“When students receive an extended period of compulsory education, they are better equipped to join the workforce with relevant skills. This reform will also reduce child labor and other social vices resulting from premature school dropouts.”
He highlighted the implementation strategies to successfully integrate secondary education into basic education to include: policy reforms, infrastructure expansion, teacher training and recruitment, funding and partnerships, curriculum enhancement.
