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Food for Living: Dealing with Defective Success
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
According to Mark Twain, “the two most important days in your Life is the day you were born and the day you found out why.” Why is this important? One of the best questions any rational and progressive mind must endeavor to answer before he leaves this sinful world is discovering the purpose of his existence. Whether one is in the academic space, relationship/marriage, entertainment, sports, business, political or otherwise, they must understand the basics and foundations, otherwise they might be just leaning on the wrong ladder of success.
In understanding defective success, let’s use a practical case of someone who is successful in his career, but failed in managing his family due to focusing more time on his career. Also, let’s see a case of an entrepreneur who was busy chasing contracts and money at the detriment of his sleep, and when he finally gets the money, his health has deteriorated.
Also, imagine a student who is wired to study Political Science or Philosophy in college, but somehow found himself studying Law due to the advice and influence of mentors or counselors, who felt he could do well in that area. The student might do well as a lawyer, but the question remains if he would be fulfilled as a man?
Furthermore, a lady might want to marry a man just because he has access to money as opposed to the values the man represents. The lady might end up having the man, but lacking the most important part of marital life, which is peace of mind and fulfilment.
The list is literally endless, but the moral of the question is, someone might get to the peak of his career, have access to money and the good things of life, but still misses a fundamental aspect of life-fulfilment.
What therefore, is defective success? Defective success is achieving a goal or assignment you are not sent for, or leaning on the wrong side of the wall. Not how far you have come, but how far you should have gone.
Defective success is simply leaning on the wrong ladder of success. Imagine leaning on the wrong ladder to climb up a position and when you get to your destination, you now discover you were leaning on the wrong ladder, which literally means, though you reached the peak, however, the gains and blessings would have been much higher if that’s the purpose you have been destined to do. What most people fail to understand is that one can be successful at something they are not called to do, and that’s defective success.
But how does defective success works? There is a story told by one of my mentors, Sir Fela Durutoye, a leadership expert, on how an Executive Director of a bank fell victim to defective success. According to him, this man participated in one of his training sessions and after the training, the man told him he had made him lose his job. Mr. Fela asked, how? He responded that after listening to him, he discovered he was meant to be a leadership consultant as opposed to a bank executive. The interesting thing about this bank executive was that, when he approached the bank to inform them of his desire to resign and become a leadership consultant, not only did his bank hire him to train their staff, but they also paid him twice his salary as Executive Director in the bank. The moral of this story is that, when you are doing what you are supposed to, the universe will locate you. Again, when you are working on purpose, your reward will be priceless.
Just to illustrate this point. Sometimes, hardship can make one relocate to another country for greener pastures, thinking that’s the best thing to do, however, only to find out, his purpose was not that in that country. The person might be living, but the impact he’s supposed to make in the world will not be manifested in the lives of people he was called to serve. Moral: May we not lose the impact we are created for just because of comfort or temporary setback.
Most people don’t understand how defective success works. They just think when they have made money, have influence and more, they have arrived, however, they fail to understand that in life, there’s more to money.
As you crave for success, you must train your mind and body to have the right value system, the right mindset, the right belief system, and your aspiration and goals must be the one you set for yourself and not the one anyone sets for you.
Do you know your success is tied to the reason you are created? Success can also be tied to the resources you are given. This is because you can’t separate success from purpose.
Let me elaborate, your purpose was made in Heaven and your assignment is to fulfil the assignment on earth. So, it is the one who sends you on an assignment that will determine the rubric of the success. If in your calculated wisdom, you have attained success, but your success is not in line with the definition of success by your mentor or manager, that’s defective success.
The question now becomes how does one avoid being a victim of defective success? The first step is to live a life of purpose.
Myles Munroe, an evangelist, was right when he stated, “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable’. Every person was created for a reason. We are all wired in a certain way to accomplish a particular purpose.
Do you know at the end of life, we will give account of all we have been given at creation. Now imagine, if you are giving your report and you derail from the purpose, assignment, and problem you have been commissioned with the resources you were given at creation.
To avoid the pains of defective success, here are three things you should focus on. 1. One must focus on working and building on their talent. You are expected to use your talent to fulfil your divine purpose. 2. Your personality: This is what gives you comfort in the place of your purpose. When your purpose is in alignment with your talent, you won’t experience stress, rather you will experience a little stretch. Third and most important passion: Passion is inbuilt, when you are passionate about a cause, your pain, detractors, and challenges will serve as inspiration and distractions because you have a burning desire to accomplish something that is built in you which you are created to do. But when you are not working on purpose, you won’t experience strength, peace of mind and fulfilment.
Let me share a little bit of personal experience with you. Despite studying Taxation Law in New York Law School, I wasn’t passionate about the major. I remember when I was offered a decent salary by the New York City Department of Finance to begin my career as a Tax Specialist, I didn’t take the offer because I wasn’t passionate about the industry. I ended up settling for a Case Manager position, which offered me half of the pay I got for taxation.
The interesting thing was that I got joy, fulfilment, and most importantly, it aligned with my passion for service for humanity. Moral: When you are working on purpose, you’ll control money as opposed to being a slave to money. When you are passionate about a cause, you will be equipped with the talent to solve any challenge that may arise.
It’s instructive to note that when passion finds assignment, fulfillment is met, but when passion is lacking, it can lead to frustration. Be advised, even when you are working on purpose and a cause you are passionate about, you are bound to experience some level of frustration, but this frustration might not be the same as when you are doing what you are not created to do, rather it will serve as an alarm clock saying, what you are doing is not what you are created to do. Every time you are working on defective success, you won’t get fulfillment and a little distraction can lead to frustration.
When you are working on purpose and you experience frustration, you’ll have a certain level of peace despite the pain because somehow, you are working on purpose.
It’s sad to note that many people are not working where they are supposed to work, while some are working on a job they are not supposed to work.
Question: How do I find my purpose to avoid defective success?
If purpose is the reason for your existence, your best bet is to ask the manufacturer if you have the manual of any product. This is because you are not an accident. You are created and equipped on purpose to solve a problem. Your purpose was made in heaven and it’s eternal, but your assignment is time bound which must be fulfilled on earth.
For instance, your purpose cannot be changed, but your assignment varies. For instance, your purpose of going to school from primary school to university never changes, because it’s centered on acquiring education, but your assignment may change because your assignment at each stage from primary one to university will change as your progress.
Again, when your assignment changes, it’s still working on the grand scheme of things. This is why when you experience challenges, it’s part of the trials and dynamics to position and strengthen you to the place you are supposed to be. Moral: Don’t get distracted. Stay focused.
Connect with your purpose by finding your assignment. Anytime you follow the voice of the one who sent you, he will lead you to the next assignment.
When you are working on purpose, everything you need to succeed will be given to you at your place of assignment by the creator and manufacturer. Therefore, you must connect with your purpose to fulfil your purpose. According to Fela Durutoye, the future is everything you can be, but you are yet to become, the future is everything you can possess or achieve but you are yet to achieve or possess it. Your task is to deliver the future, but that will only come when you are working on purpose.
In conclusion, you must give your time, energy, money and resources to do what you are created to do. You were given everything from eternity to ensure you succeed, but you will only succeed when you are living or working on purpose.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A federal judge in the United States, on Thursday, put a temporary block on President Donald Trump’s attempt to restrict birthright citizenship.
The ruling imposes a 14-day halt on the enforcement of one of the most controversial executive orders Trump signed hours after being sworn into office for a second term.
It comes after lawsuits were filed by a total of 22 states, two cities and numerous civil rights groups.
“This is a blatantly unconstitutional order,” senior US District Judge John Coughenour was reported as saying during the hearing in Washington State.
“I’ve been on the bench for over four decades, I can’t remember another case where the question presented is as clear as this one is,” said Coughenour, who was appointed to the bench by a Republican president, Ronald Reagan.
Birthright citizenship is fundamental to America’s national identity, with the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution decreeing that anyone born on US soil is a citizen.
It says, in part: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”
Trump’s order was premised on the idea that anyone in the US illegally, or on a visa, was not “subject to the jurisdiction” of the country, and therefore excluded from this category.
AFP
The Court of Appeal sitting in Akure, Ondo State capital has upheld the death sentence of Ramon Adedoyin, a prominent businessman and hotelier, for his involvement in the murder of one Timothy Adegoke, a former postgraduate student of the Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU), Ile-Ife, Osun State.
Delivering the judgment on Thursday, the court affirmed the earlier verdict of the Osun State High Court, which had sentenced Adedoyin to death.
“The judgment of the High Court of Osun State stands. Adedoyin’s appeal is dismissed in part,” the court declared in part.
The Court of Appeal, however, set aside some aspects of the lower court’s orders, including the forfeiture of the Hilton Hotel and the order for Adedoyin to pay for the education of Adegoke’s children.
Furthermore, the court ruled that it had no jurisdiction to impose penalties outside the statutory provisions
Adegoke’s death was reported in November 2021 after his corpse was found at the Hilton Honours Hotel in Ile-Ife, Osun State, where he had lodged.
The hotelier had travelled from Abuja for an examination at a distance learning centre in Moro, Osun State on November 5 of that year.
He had checked into the hotel but was reported missing after two days. However, Adegoke’s body was found days later, leading to a probe that linked his death to Adedoyin and others.
In May 2023, Adedoyin and others were sentenced to death after they were found guilty of murder and conspiracy to murder.
But dissatisfied with the judgement, Adedoyin approached the Appeal court to dismiss the sentence and conviction.
The court of appeal, on Thursday, however, upheld the conviction and death sentence of the hotelier.
