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Food for Living: Dealing with Failure
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friend,
Failure is one the dreaded, if not the most dreaded fears of the average human being. It competes favourably with poverty. Just like wealth and success boost the confidence of a person, so does failure humbles a man’s psyche. However, the ability to manage success as a skill, needs to be understudied to avoid failure.
In recent times, I have learnt to ask resourceful people more about their failures more than their success. As a matter of fact, people who have failed more have more to share than people who have succeeded. The irony of life is that most of the time, people tend to give more credence to those who have succeeded more than those who have failed.
Uninformed people see those who have failed as people with dirt or dent on their lives. In some cases, they are seen as nothing to write home about just because they failed. It’s instructive to note that failure is not alien to anyone. Everyone, at one time or another, experiences failure. What some people fail to understand however, is that the people who failed have a lot more to share than those who succeeded.
Just to put it in perspective, imagine a divorcee giving you a genuine advice on marriage; imagine a politician who has failed in several elections and later succeed giving you an advice on electioneering campaigns; imagine a businessman who failed in business up advising you on how to run a business; imagine a student who has failed a class advising you how to do well in a class. The list is literally endless. One thing is certain, all these failures will come from the place of love, pain and fulfilment and will be properly metaphor into gain if properly utilized.
I have failed many times more than I have succeeded and this failure has humbled me. If only our failures and mistakes are written on our face, no human will have a clean face. It’s so sad many people have allowed their mistakes and failures to define them.
To understand how to deal with failure, let’s explain the concept of failure with the word FAILURE.
Fall
Literally, when you fall, it means you have failed or fallen from an exalted position. Before one fails in life, one would have fallen. In contemporary times, uninformed people in our society tend to laugh at people who have failed elections, failed exams, failed in academics, failed in leadership positions, failed in marriage and failed in their personal and professional vocations. When you fail in life, the next thing is to acknowledge it and try to maximize the opportunity to bounce back.
Acknowledgement.
It’s only a fool who will do the same thing over and over again and expect to get a different result. When you make a mistake, the best thing to do as a leader is to acknowledge it and learn to avoid the mistake again. Failing to acknowledge your mistake will make people perceive you as having pride especially when one tries to apportion the blame to another person. When you acknowledge your mistake, the next stage is to investigate the mistake to avoid repeating it again.
Investigate.
This is the beginning of learning. When people investigate, they are trying to know more to verify certain information or acts. Without investigation, there will be little or no consequences. When it comes to failures, investigating a mistake doesn’t mean one is trying to find a fault, rather one is trying to know how to avert a similar problem. When one has truly found the answers to a problem, one will begin to learn from the experience what truly happened.
Learn
Nothing elevates one than learning from one’s mistakes. When you learn from your mistakes, you will be poised to unleash your potential by turning your mistakes into your friend. It’s quite unfortunate that many people don’t take time to learn. Learning will strategically position one to avoid mistakes. It’s said, a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes. When one learns, one will understand how systems and structures work. When you learn more, you stand a better position to earn more especially when one has learned from their mistakes.
Understand
Failure in life comes with understanding. When one fails, one will see and understand life differently. Just to put this in perspective. Imagine a man who has fortune and has been a tremendous blessing to people and now lives in penury. Many of his beneficiaries will gradually slide to the next benefactor. Again, imagine a politician with influence as a Governor, Minister of President controlling and managing people and resources, one can’t imagine the beehive of people that will be trooping to his house and office daily seeking for favor. The day the man loses his position, he will understand the meaning of loyalty because the majority of people who were around him were simply there due to vested interests. If you call them sycophants, you won’t be totally wrong. This is simply the reality of life. Moral: Failure in life will give you understanding and wisdom.
When you experience this understanding, the best thing that can happen to you will be to realign with the right people with the right energy. Going back to the people who abandoned you literally means; one hasn’t learnt much and is about to make another terrible mistake.
Realign
Realignment comes with attraction. Just like kind attracts people with similar vision, purpose and energy attracts. Failure in life will make one practice alignment by taking stock of what’s working in and what’s not working. When one experiences failure, going to the same people, and situations that led one to the same mistake simply means the person hasn’t aligned well. When proper alignment has taken place, the next big stage is to evolve. This is where all the pieces will be put together to make failure have a meaning.
Evolve
When one evolves, it means one has metamorphosed into a new being. To evolve means one has grown and no longer operates from the place of lack. During my formative years in the USA, I used to be a horrible writer, but when you juxtapose the Henry Ukazu of 2010 and the Henry Ukazu of 2024, you will know the difference is clear. When you evolve, you will see a lot of transformation in your life.
Failure makes one evolve into a new beginning. To understand how one evolves, a newborn baby crawls before walking and running. In a similar vein, a child attends kindergarten school before attending elementary, middle school, high school, and college. All these are processes of evolution. Failure makes one evolve and transform into a better person. Failure has many parts and components and when they have been assembled, they will make one to evolve to a more refined and reformed being.
In summary, as you journey through life, see failure as an experience as opposed to a mistake. In that way, you will learn from it.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Dr. Hakeem Baba-Ahmed, a former Special Adviser on Political Matters to President Bola Tinubu, has revealed that the North will, in the next six months, take a stand on who to support for the presidency in 2027.
He boasted that no politician can win the presidency in 2027 without the support of the region.
In a video interview he granted in Hausa language, Baba-Ahmed, who appeared alongside a former Executive Secretary of the National Health Insurance Scheme, Usman Yusuf, lamented the state of the nation and urged northerners to resist divisive and deceptive politicians ahead of the next general elections.
He said: “In the next six months, the North will decide where it stands. If the rest of the country wants to join us, fine. If not, we will go our own way. One thing is clear: nobody can become president of Nigeria without northern support.
“We want a government that understands our problems and can address them. After Buhari’s eight years, we became wiser. Now, we are in another government, and we are still crying. Is crying all we know how to do?” Baba-Ahmed asked.
According to the former presidential aide, the North has suffered greatly during the Boko Haram insurgency, which affected all groups, Muslims, Christians, Fulani, Baju, and others, highlighting the need for unity.
“Before Buhari became president, Boko Haram was bombing mosques, churches, Abuja, and Lagos. That was a time Northerners had to unite. Today, no politician can just show up and expect Northerners to fall in line. Who are you?” he questioned.
He therefore warned against further marginalization of the North, noting that continued disregard for the region would have consequences.
“If they plan to rig the election, they should be careful. It won’t be good for Nigeria. The North is watching, elders, masses, and interest groups will soon say “enough is enough ‘. The injustice and sidelining must stop.
Baba-Ahmed urged the northern region to look beyond identity politics, stressing that competence and integrity should guide voter decisions.
“We are tired of being deceived into voting based on religion or ethnicity. That era is over. We just want a right leader, we just want someone who will solve our problems,” he said.
Telecommunications giant, Globacom, has charged Christians to embrace the virtues that Christ preached as the 2025 Easter celebrations hold this weekend.
While congratulating Christians in Nigeria in a goodwill message released from its Lagos Head Office on Thursday, Globacom admonished them to imbibe the noble qualities of Jesus Christ.
According to Glo, “Peace, love and sacrifice are the central message of Easter. Christ offered himself in atonement for the sins of the world and he lived a life which made Him an eternal symbol of peace and goodwill for mankind”
Globacom charged all Nigerians to espouse the lessons of selflessness, a necessary ingredient in the growth and development of every society and called on all Nigerians to join hands to make Nigeria a better place for all.
The company praised their perseverance through the 40-day Lenten period which comes before Easter as it emphasized the ideals of selflessness, love and peace among all as a way of demonstrating the exemplary life of Jesus Christ.
Easter comes yearly at the end of the Lenten season of fasting and prayer considered as a ritual of purification for the Christian faithful. It also precedes the crucifixion of the Lord Jesus Christ on Good Friday and His eventual resurrection on Easter Sunday.
The company assured its customers of unhindered voice, data and Short Messaging Service (SMS) during and after the Easter celebrations, while urging them to avail themselves of the various data and voice offerings on the network.
Dear Destiny Friends,
Every human being loves to get approval, either for the great work they have done or the ones they are doing. They love to be appreciated and admired. They also love to be given attention when they have something valuable to say or do. In all of these, one thing is certain, there is something special about us, and this special thing makes one unique, and ultimately attracts people to us.
Let’s face it, nobody will admire you, appreciate you, approve you and give you attention if you don’t have anything to offer. The reason most people associate with someone is because they feel or know there’s something they can gain from the person. It’s hard for someone to relate closely with someone who they don’t see potential value in.
There is no doubt each and everyone of us is unique, yes, there’s something unique about you. You can sing, you can write, you can dance, you can lead, you can serve, you can cook, etc. One can even be a good actor, athlete, comedian, or preacher. The list is literally endless. Now, what’s unique about you?
When you discover what’s unique about you, please do all within your reach to nurture and develop it. One day, the right person, who truly appreciates and knows your value will celebrate you.
I have a friend who is exceptionally skilled in writing and developing creative contents. I call him a genius because he can literally write a book within a week. How he does it is what I don’t understand. I was surprised when he once told me he wrote a book and manuscript in one week. According to him, he has been developing the contents mentally, but hasn’t found time to put his thoughts together, and when he finally gets his thoughts together, he was able to write the book and manuscript. This is a typical way of knowing a unique being.
Many, however, do not know what’s unique about them. We focus our energy chasing what is not chasing us instead of focusing on developing what we already have. It’s sad to see young and old people living their lives in an unintentional manner with a belief that somehow lines, favour or opportunities will fall in place for them.
Sometimes, we rely on other people’s affirmation and opinion, and accept it as our fate. For instance, just because one is tall, he might be told he will be a great fit for basketball without considering if the athlete loves basketball; again, just because someone is very intelligent, his parents will encourage him to major in a particular discipline, which is perceived as lucrative without considering if the person likes it pr not.
I once experienced this fate when my late dad inspired me to study taxation law in New York Law School, a major I detest with passion. It was like a suicidal mission for me because I do know, it will take miracle to graduate from the program. How I was able to get a scholarship for my grades and graduate in record time is a story for another day. I’m not wired as a finance person, I will better serve humanity in the social and developmental space where my skills, talents, gift and passion will be better utilized. And ever since I joined the space, I have seen results.
There are many cases where many people lose their identities without knowing they are unique. We are all unique in our individual ways. Just like there are several gifts and talents, we have different skills. When you know what’s unique about you, you will stand out and the world will not only appreciate you, but will celebrate you.
When one discovers the power of their uniqueness, we will gather strength to unleash it to the world. Uniqueness works in several ways. For instance, the mere fact that ten people are genius, talented, skillful or valuable in a particular work, the person with the unique gift is the person who will not only stand out, but will be called upon to do the work.
Let me share more insight. If ten people sing a particular song with a great voice, the person who is called to be a singer will receive a unique appreciation because he/she is working on purpose. That is why it is easy to see a lot of people venturing into a particular form of business, but the favour of the business will not locate them because they are not uniquely destined to do business.
Few years ago, one of my mentors shared a deep insight with me. He said that, as a trained medical doctor, he once observed that despite the fact there are hundreds and thousands of medical doctors practicing their profession. One fateful day, he noticed a particular patient was not responding to treatment despite all the medication that had been given to him by a nurse, his health was deteriorating, then another nurse came and administered the same pill a nurse gave the patient, and the patient began to feel better. What does that tell you? The second nurse was probably working in her purpose which aligns with her profession, and as such the corresponding success. This goes to show that when one is unique, it has a way of robbing off on their work.
Furthermore, he stated that Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, and Beyonce are some of the gifted singers and dancers the world has ever celebrated. He went on to say that we have hundreds and thousands of musicians, but only a few have got the spotlight.
What does that tell you? When you are unique, the world will celebrate you. I have understood that the fastest way to get recognition in life is to work in areas where one’s strength and unique gift will better serve the purpose. This is simply because the world does not celebrate one’s weakness, rather, the world celebrates one’s strength.
In recent times, I have seen myself as a counselor and human inspiration. My counseling skills have enabled me to influence people to live positive lives. Overtime, I have realized that when people share their burden with me, they feel relieved after speaking with me. What amazes me most is the fact that even my elders feel comfortable to relate with me on a cordial basis. Maybe, I have a unique gift for counseling and educating.
Today, I am going to charge you to focus your energy and time on whatever will bring you the highest satisfaction. Even if you are looking for a job, applying for school, or seeking any opportunity, your focus should be centered on what you have that the job, school or opportunity will amplify. When you do so, you will be in high demand.
In conclusion, please affirm to yourself today, I am a unique being with a unique personality, purpose and gift.
Say to yourself, ‘I am original’, and refuse to be fake.
Again confess that your originality, authenticity and uniqueness will attract favours, blessings, opportunities from leaders and queens to you, and you will be celebrated.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
