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Food for Living: Face Your Fears
By Henry Ukazu
Greeting dear Friends,
I will start this article with a quote from Les Brown: “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” Growth is a very hard process. Growth comes in different shapes and sizes, but what is important is we are growing. Some people grow with joy, while others grow with fear. Regardless of where your fear is coming from, it should be accepted with joy because fear itself comes with its own blessing if only you can see from the brighter side of life. Fear itself is indeed necessary for our growth.
We all have fear living in us. Politicians have the fear of the unknown, and entrepreneurs of succeeding in their craft. We all have dreams and visions we will like to see come through.
What really is fear? Fear can be defined as a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events. At various points in our life, we have experienced fear. The fear of the unknown can be regarded as one of the worst forms of fear. In politics, politicians are always skeptical of what their fate might be during the election because of the unstable nature of politics. Entrepreneurs and business managers are always afraid of how their products might be accepted in the market. Leaders sometimes are afraid of how their decision might affect the company, students are afraid if they’ll pass their exams, pregnant women always experience anxiety and some element of fear about their unborn child. Parents have fears about their children safety and also how they’ll turn up to be responsible citizens. Some travelers are always afraid of flying in the air, by road or sea. While some have a phobia for traveling. The list is just endless.
Fear has limited many people from reaching their potentials. Fear can be likened to taking a risk. It’s often said that great achievers are risk-takers. These sets of individuals look at their circumstances and dare to succeed. They are not deterred by what they are experiencing, rather, they are concerned they are where they are going. These are the people that are called visionaries because they conquered their fear. It’s instructive to note that the fear of taking risk is risk itself.
Let’s discuss how we can face our fears.
Nothing is permanent. Just like life has its own up and down, fear itself is only temporary if we allow it to have to its position. Regret is what lasts forever; but the unfortunate thing is that sometimes, we all allow fear to last for a long period of time. Fear will respect you if you position it where it is supposed to be. But if you allow it to conquer you, you’ll forever regret it and that’s one the saddest you want to regret in your life.
You have the control of your life, nothing even your parents, friends, employers, spouse, and whatever you may have in your life can control you only if you allow it to control you because you know what is good for you. I will share a personal experience with you, I once quit a job I had due to the interest and vision I had. To a lot of people, it was an irrational and senseless decision because there was little or no backup plan. In reality, I had the fear of the unknown. To be honest, my only and greatest confidence was that I was going to see my grandmother to seek her blessings for my life. I remembered speaking to my mentor before quitting the job, and he asked me if my mind was at peace when I was quitting the job, I said yes, and he replied, that’s all that mattered. Fast forward the journey to two years time, I got two rare blessings that changed the course of my life (married a rare gem which my grandmother prayed for before leaving this sinful world and securing a priceless opportunity from a major financial institution which ordinarily, wouldn’t have occurred if not for the transient period of set back when I quit the job). The two lessons learned here are: Don’t try to be fearless, just don’t allow your fear to make decisions for you, and, always have peace of mind whenever you are about to make a decision.
It is important to note that a little bit of fear is normal. In fact, fear helps you to instinctively protect yourself from harm. For example, if you have fear of failing exams, you’ll be inspired to work hard harder. Also if you look at the people who want to see you fail, you’ll be inspired to work harder and humble them with your success.
How to over overcome Fear
Be engaged:
You can challenge your fear by engaging it in it. For instance, if you are afraid of public speaking, the only way you can overcome it, is by engaging in public speaking. Your fear of public speaking might prevent you from advancing in your career and that can be frustrating. So challenge that fear by facing it squarely. You can start small by speaking to family members, friends who you are comfortable with or even friendly associations or communities. You can also have an internal conversation with yourself about what your fears are stopping you from doing, and consider if it’s a problem that you need to confront.
Evaluate Risk Level
Every risk has to ascertained to know if it is worth undertaking. Keep in mind that just because something feels scary, doesn’t mean it’s actually risky. Educate yourself about the facts and the risks you actually face by doing the things that scare you.
Create an Action Plan
The key to facing your fears is to take one small step at a time. Going too fast or doing something too scary before you are ready can backfire. This basically means you have to be prepared for any opportunity you want to explore. For instance, if you are about to quit your job, it’s imperatively important for you to get sufficient experience, information, knowledge, skills, and confidence to begin the next phase of your life unless you longer have peace of mind on the current job. There will be some element of fear that’s okay because a moderate amount of anxiety is good and it’s important to keep moving forward. Moral: Don’t wait to take a step forward until your anxiety disappears. According to some school of thought, social parlance, never wait for the coast to clear before you move. Sometimes it’s good to swing through the wave.
Another way of creating an action plan is preparing before execution. If you want to develop your public speaking skills, you can eliminate fear by standing in front of a mirror and give a two-minute talk, record yourself giving a talk and watch it back, practice the talk in front of a spouse, family member, friend, and friends. You can also watch videos.
Seek Professional Help
Having mentors, experts, or even friends can play a significant role in eliminating fear from your life. If you have a specific phobia, you may not be able to conquer your fears on your own. If your fears are debilitating, or you aren’t having much success facing them on your own, seek help from tested and trusted persons. Treatment may involve talking about the thing that scares you, practicing relaxation strategies, and managing your anxiety as you face your fears head-on. A therapist, however, will help you go at a pace that is comfortable and healthy for you. It is always better to know whose hand you are holding physically or emotionally. This helps with allaying of fears for the rest of your life..
Exercise.
Exercise has a role in eliminating fear. It can refocus you (your mind can only focus on one thing at a time). Whether you go on a short walk, running, jogging, etc it will help you to be comfortable. You can also use humor to deflate your worst fears. This is mostly applicable in public speaking. Isn’t it true that when you joke about something, it can help to reduce tension and anxiety?
Don’t Be a Victim of Fearing Fear Itself
You are what you feel and it is only a matter of time for what you feel to manifest. If you have fear, don’t show it, rather show the courage in your eyes. Nothing has power over us except the one we give it. So if you give fear power, it will overpower you and resonate in all parts of your body.
Assume the Worst
A good way to overcome fear is by preparing for the best and expecting the worst. When you get to a stage in life that you don’t care about what people say about you, you have literally reached a high level of freedom. Even at work, once you make your boss understand you don’t really care if you fired why doing your legitimate assigned work to the best of your ability, he or she might respect you the more internally especially when you know your job very well as opposed to showing him/her fear by playing to the gallery. When you showy boss an element of fear, he/she might be tempted to take you for a ride because your life literally depends on the job, that’s why it’s not always good to show your fear.
You Are Not Defined by Your Fear
We are not defined by our circumstances, rather we are defined by what we overcome. Many people have faced so many challenges, but they were able to overcome with uncommon strength. The only positive thing fear does to you is that it gives you positive exposure if you learn from it. Fear is false evidence appearing real, it’s up you to face it and overcome it.
In conclusion, what are you afraid of? It’s hight you overcame and succeed.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
Impeached Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Mudashiru Obasa, has described the corruption allegations against him as “fictitious and unsubstantiated”.
Speaking during a welcome rally at his residence in GRA, Ikeja on Saturday, Obasa maintained that he was not afraid of being impeached but emphasised that due process was not followed.
The former Speaker alleged that his removal was orchestrated while he was away, and accused the state commissioner of police of aiding the process.
He claimed security agents, led by the police commissioner, invaded the assembly complex and his homes in Agege and Ikeja, locking his family indoors with over 200 officers present.
Obasa dismissed allegations of misappropriation.
He mocked claims that a gate construction had cost N16 billion, saying, “Is it the wall of Jericho?”
He said: “I am not afraid of being removed, after all, it is not my father’s chieftaincy title. I am representing my people and they have returned me six times. If you want to do anything, do it well.
“They did the removal all because I was out of the country. Lagos is a special place, we cannot denigrate the state.
The former Speaker cited the case of the former speaker, Rt. Hon Jokotola Pelumi.
He said when Pelumi was removed, he was in the assembly and “we did not invite policemen.
“When my sister, former deputy speaker of the House, Hon. Adefunmilayo Tejuosho was removed, we did not invite the police.”
Obasa said an innocent person should not be discredited, and there must be proof of allegations showing exactly what he has done.
“The Lagos State House of Assembly is above common standard of excellence.
“I appreciate the members of the governance advisory council and Governor Babajide Olusola Aanwo-Olu of the state. He is my brother and he always calls me his younger brother.”
Obasa was impeached on January 13 by more than two-thirds of the 40-member legislative house over alleged misconduct and sundry offences.
His Deputy, Mojisola Meranda, was immediately elected the new speaker, becoming the first female to take charge of the legislative body in the State.
The Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) has confirmed that 38 persons, including seven crew members, were injured when a United Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Lagos on Friday morning.
The Boeing 787-8 flight with 245 passengers was en route to Washington Dulles International Airport (IAD), in the United States, from the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos, when it developed problems midair and was forced to return to the airport.
There were also 11 crew members – eight attendants and three pilots – on the plane.
The FAAN Director of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection, Obiageli Orah, who confirmed the incident through a statement, said all passengers and crew disembarked safely.
She, however, said four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries.
According to her, 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
The statement read: “The United Airlines Boeing 787-800 departed Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), Ikeja, at 11:59pm on Thursday, but made air return and landed safely at 3.22am on Friday.
“On board were 245 adults and 11 crew members.
“The team of Aerodrome Rescue and Fire Fighting Services, Aviation Medical, and Aviation Security were already at the gate when the aeroplane parked for deboarding at D31 without incident, and the door was opened at 3:37am.
“While all passengers and crew disembarked safely, four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries, and an additional 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
“The rescue team responded swiftly and effectively, having been on alert and standby.
“Aviation medical ambulances transported the injured passengers, some to the MMA Clinic and others to the headquarters clinic.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
