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Food for Living: Kindness As Gateway to Unlocking Opportunities, Affection This Season
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Destiny Friends,
It is always a thing of joy when we receive gifts or acts of love. The feeling is surreal. According to Gary Chapman in his book, “The Five Love Languages”, there are five love languages, namely: words affirmation, gift, services, time, and physical touch. When a rational man is able to understand and apply these techniques which I call principles, he will literally get any lady of his choice, all things being equal.
Permit me to speak a little about ladies.
It’s is an undisputable fact ladies love gifts and money. One of the gateways to a lady’s heart is by giving her a gift. Most men use gifts to show their love and affection to ladies. Of course, men are wired to give. While men are said to be givers, ladies are receivers. If a man truly loves and cares for for a lady, he must give. If he’s not giving to one (you), he’s definitely giving to somebody else.
Giving does not have to be thousands, millions or billions. What is important is the heart behind the giving. As a student of kindness, I realized early in life that the gateway to attracting blessings and opportunities from a king is giving them gifts. Poverty-stricken minds with fixed mindsets always have the mentality that there’s literally no need to give the rich or wealthy people. They fail to understand that giving is a mindset. You must not literally give money to show someone you literally love or appreciate them, but you can show them kindness by the little things you do. If you truly want to know someone who truly cares for you, look at how they invest their time to support or appreciate you. In our contemporary society, kindness is underrated, while money is overrated. People with a poverty mindset always revere people who give them money more than people who offer them advice; they fail to understand there are some advice money cannot buy.
If you want to know who truly cares for you, look at the opportunities they expose you to and not the money they give you. Poverty-stricken minds always like people who give money, but people with growth and appreciative mindset appreciate people who teach them how to make money. Don’t get me wrong. However, while money is gold, kindness is golden. Do you know that there are things money can’t buy? Money can buy laughter, but it can’t buy peace of mind; money can buy intelligence, but it can’t buy wisdom and understanding; money can buy gifts, but it can’t buy kindness. Money can’t buy integrity, dignity, and loyalty.
When people affirm your network determines your net worth and your net worth determines your network, I tend to have a different interpretation and perspective to it. This is because there are people in your life who might not have the money to show you how they appreciate you, but if you are able to think out of the box, you will realize that what they are giving you is priceless. It’s literally worth more than what money can buy. It’s just like having a loyal friend who can stand with you no matter how rough the journey or life has been.
On a personal note, I have been a recipient of the most favored human being on planet earth, on my 37th birthday celebration, I was blessed to have a compilation of my quotes which my esteemed mentee Mr. Sulyman Sodeeq Abdulakeem turned into a mini-book. But the most heartwarming blessing was when he compiled some of my insightful and thought-provoking articles into a formidable book that will be released soon. I was literally in tears when I got the gift. I had to ask myself who am I to receive such a blessing. My pensive mood was activated. In reality, I’m yet to find words to say how grateful I am to him. The only thought that comes to my mind is that the kindness I have shown to humanity is what I received back on a different fold.
You may be wondering why I am sharing this information. The reason is quite simple; goodness, love and most importantly kindness has a way of locating you when you don’t expect it. When you have an opportunity to show love, kindness, or do good to anyone, please do it. Don’t bother about if the person appreciates it or not; it’s not between you and them, it’s between you and God. Humanity has a way of paying you back. According to one of my mentors, Yomi Garnett, a renowned Ghost Writer, “Do all the good you can by all the means you can, in all ways you can, in every place you can, at all the times you can, to everyone you can, as long as you can”. He further stated, count that day in which you have not done something good for another person as lost. The moral lesson inherent here is that when you do good for people genuinely without an expectation, it has a way of coming back to you in form of good health, longevity, blessings, favors for your children, spouse, appointments, opportunities, etc. You might even begin to wonder why you deserve the goodness? Kindness is like the law of Karma; it always has a way of paying you back in the manner you dished it out.
If you truly want to show someone you care for them, you must give. Giving in this context can mean time or material things. It’s quite unfortunate many people find it hard to give. They fail to understand that there is a blessing in giving. Isn’t it true that the giver’s hand is always on top? For instance, if you want to attract blessings from your parents, give them money or gifts.
The blessings of giving cannot be overemphasized. We are currently in the season of Valentine when lovers show their affection to one another. If I may ask you, what are you doing to show love to those around you? For me and my company, Gloemi, we have decided to offer a one-day training on Mindset for 20 progressive minds who are desirous of scaling their personal and professional lives. This training will focus on self-discovery, we’ll also talk about fixed mindset, poverty mindset, and growth mindset and how it can attract opportunities for your business. There will be opportunities for people to answer questions. To participate in this webinar, you have to follow us on social media via Gloemi and explain why you will like to attend.
kindness is not hard; it is soft, people will generally resonate with you when you are kind and generous. There was a recent story about how a Nigerian philanthropist, Obi Iyiegbu, took interest in a young man, Ekuma Jeremiah (a hawker), who was caught on camera in the Ajah area of Lagos, Nigeria, giving money to persons who were being transported to prison in a Nigerian Correctional Service van. It’s worthy to state that this young man was already poor, but he still has the heart of helping poor people. If you don’t know what kindness is, this is a typical example of selfless love.
In conclusion, as you journey through life, always find ways to give, no matter how little it is. It might be hard to give, but trust me, the blessings are priceless. There’s always joy when you give with love. If you can’t give money, gift or time, give words. Just give something.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Impeached Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Mudashiru Obasa, has described the corruption allegations against him as “fictitious and unsubstantiated”.
Speaking during a welcome rally at his residence in GRA, Ikeja on Saturday, Obasa maintained that he was not afraid of being impeached but emphasised that due process was not followed.
The former Speaker alleged that his removal was orchestrated while he was away, and accused the state commissioner of police of aiding the process.
He claimed security agents, led by the police commissioner, invaded the assembly complex and his homes in Agege and Ikeja, locking his family indoors with over 200 officers present.
Obasa dismissed allegations of misappropriation.
He mocked claims that a gate construction had cost N16 billion, saying, “Is it the wall of Jericho?”
He said: “I am not afraid of being removed, after all, it is not my father’s chieftaincy title. I am representing my people and they have returned me six times. If you want to do anything, do it well.
“They did the removal all because I was out of the country. Lagos is a special place, we cannot denigrate the state.
The former Speaker cited the case of the former speaker, Rt. Hon Jokotola Pelumi.
He said when Pelumi was removed, he was in the assembly and “we did not invite policemen.
“When my sister, former deputy speaker of the House, Hon. Adefunmilayo Tejuosho was removed, we did not invite the police.”
Obasa said an innocent person should not be discredited, and there must be proof of allegations showing exactly what he has done.
“The Lagos State House of Assembly is above common standard of excellence.
“I appreciate the members of the governance advisory council and Governor Babajide Olusola Aanwo-Olu of the state. He is my brother and he always calls me his younger brother.”
Obasa was impeached on January 13 by more than two-thirds of the 40-member legislative house over alleged misconduct and sundry offences.
His Deputy, Mojisola Meranda, was immediately elected the new speaker, becoming the first female to take charge of the legislative body in the State.
The Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) has confirmed that 38 persons, including seven crew members, were injured when a United Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Lagos on Friday morning.
The Boeing 787-8 flight with 245 passengers was en route to Washington Dulles International Airport (IAD), in the United States, from the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos, when it developed problems midair and was forced to return to the airport.
There were also 11 crew members – eight attendants and three pilots – on the plane.
The FAAN Director of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection, Obiageli Orah, who confirmed the incident through a statement, said all passengers and crew disembarked safely.
She, however, said four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries.
According to her, 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
The statement read: “The United Airlines Boeing 787-800 departed Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), Ikeja, at 11:59pm on Thursday, but made air return and landed safely at 3.22am on Friday.
“On board were 245 adults and 11 crew members.
“The team of Aerodrome Rescue and Fire Fighting Services, Aviation Medical, and Aviation Security were already at the gate when the aeroplane parked for deboarding at D31 without incident, and the door was opened at 3:37am.
“While all passengers and crew disembarked safely, four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries, and an additional 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
“The rescue team responded swiftly and effectively, having been on alert and standby.
“Aviation medical ambulances transported the injured passengers, some to the MMA Clinic and others to the headquarters clinic.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
