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Food for Living: Mindset As Tool for Success

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Life is governed by principles, and principles are products of mindset. When the right principles are applied, one is bound to get the right results. Amidst the principles of life, it is imperative that the right thoughts are applied. The right formula to any mathematical problem will always create easy access to the solution.

What really is mindset? Mindset is a set of beliefs that shape how people see themselves and the world around them. It can also be described as one’s thoughts towards life.

Mindset works with your energy. Did you know that your mindset towards life shows your understanding about life. As a student of mindset, and mindset coach, I look beyond someone’s words by looking deeper at their subconscious thoughts. My late mother once advised me, that when someone is talking, I should pay little attention to their words, but focus more on what’s inside their mind.

One’s understanding and perception towards life can be seen in their mindsets. This is because everything starts first in the mind before it sees the light of the day. Love starts from the mind. It’s from the mind that attraction comes in. Success and failure start from the mind. If you believe you will succeed, you will succeed, if you believe you will fail, you will fail.

According to Napoleon Hill in his book, “Think and Grow Rich”, whatsoever the mind can conceive, it can achieve. Even the book of life says in 1 John 4:4, he that is in you is greater and stronger than he that is in the world.

The mind is powerful just like the brain. It’s what you believe in that will work for you. If you don’t believe in anything, you will hardly get anything.

The mindset of a child is different from the mindset of a parent. The mindset of a student is different from the mindset of a professor. The mindset of a doctor is different from the mindset of a lawyer. The mindset of a businessman is different from the mindset of a clergy. The mindset of a student or employee is different from the mindset of an employer. The mindset of a regular citizen is different from the mindset of a president. The mindset of a poor man is different from the mindset of a rich man.

To give a proper perspective to mindset, it’s instructive to note that there are different attitudes to life and success. Whatever you want to accomplish, it’s important to connect with that spirit. Someone in a relationship has a different form of mindset, just as a student operates with a different form of mindset, and a businessman has a different form of mindset. Again, a clergy, Governor, President, and others, all have different forms of mindset depending on what they want to achieve.

Do you know that mindset works with values? It’s the value you place in someone, commodity, place, religion, policy, and deity that will determine how you will relate and engage with the person. It’s unfortunate to see uninformed minds requesting financial assistance from people instead of seeking opportunities to learn and serve. This set of people operate from a lack mentality.

It’s sad to note that most people don’t understand how powerful the mindset is.  Do you know your mindset is like a magnet? You can connect and attract forces farther than you. If you want to connect with a resourceful person, your ability to know what works for the person will go a long way to determine if the person will connect with you. For instance, if an entrepreneur wants to get a grant from a businessman or a company, the entrepreneur must speak in the language the donors will understand and what appeals to the mindset of that person.

Let me share a practical example of how my mindset played a game-changer role in my life. In 2017, after I published my first book, I traveled to Nigeria to see my grandmother after seeing her in my dream a couple of times begging me to come back. I initially downplayed it because I felt it’s just normal for a grandmother to miss her grandchildren, especially since my younger brother has given her a copy of my book to bless me. She still insisted she want to see me.

After giving it a serious thought, I decided to resign from my job and traveled home to see her. It’s important to state that the decision appeared unpopular among my family members and friends for several reasons. I believed my instincts, and took the risk. Be advised, my grandmother was hale and hearty without any health challenge before I traveled. One may wonder, what gave me the courage; well, I just have the belief that my grandmother’s prayers will play a big role in my life.

Trust me, it happened the exact way I thought it would. When I came back to the USA, I had no job and had to resort to selling my book on the streets of New York. On one fateful day, I met a news anchor on the street of New York and told him about my book and my plans for the youths. He was impressed and gave me his number. We couldn’t communicate for three years until President Trump issued a travel ban against Nigeria. His boss read my interview in the New York Times and reached out to him about my interview. He told his boss he knows me. He reached out to me via Instagram and texted directly on my phone inquiring if I can do an interview with respect to the travel ban. I agreed. He was impressed with my interview and my composure on the television and stated that since I do lots of work on youth advocacy, he will send his team to my house to interview me.

That was how I got featured in News12 and since then I have been a regular guest on television. Now, what’s the moral of this story? Imagine if I didn’t believe in my instinct to travel home, maybe today, I wouldn’t have been featured on the television in addition to attracting the attention I have today. Above all, nothing gave me joy more than the ten minutes of prayer my grandmother showered on me. And guess, what she passed on to glory a year later.

In conclusion, if you want to bring a positive change in your life, consider changing your attitude to life, because it’s your attitude not your aptitude that will determine your attitude to life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Hon Ikwechegh’s in Our Custody for Assault, Threat to Life, Abuja Police Confirm

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The FCT Police Command says it has arrested the lawmaker representing Aba North and South Federal Constituency of Abia State in the House of Representatives, Hon. Alexander Ikwechegh for allegedly assaulting a Bolt driver identified as Mr. Stephen Abuwatseya and making derogatory comment on the office of the Inspector General of Police.

A statement on Monday by the Spokesperson of the FCT Police Command, SP Josephine Adeh said the Command received a report at the Maitama Divisional Headquarters regarding an incident involving Mr. Abuwatseya and Hon. Alexander Ikwechegh.

“Preliminary investigations indicate that Mr. Abuwatseya was delivering a package to Hon. Ikwegh when a dispute arose concerning the method of delivery. During this altercation, Mr. Abuwatseya was reportedly physically assaulted.

“The FCT Police Command expresses grave concern over Hon. Ikwechegh’s dismissive attitude toward the office of the Inspector General of Police following the incident.

“After allegedly slapping the victim, he reportedly remarked with contempt, “You can go ahead and call the Inspector General of Police,” demonstrating a troubling disregard for the authority of law enforcement.

“Currently, the suspect is at the Maitama Police Station undergoing questioning,” the FCT police image maker said.

She added that the FCT Commissioner of Police, CP Olatunji Disu has mandated a thorough investigation into the matter while assuring of the Command’s commitment to conducting an impartial investigation and ensuring justice in all cases.

Police said appropriate legal action will be taken upon completion of the investigation.

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Zone 2 Police Canvass End to Violence Against Women, Girls

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The Zone 2 Command Headquarters under the leadership of AIG Adegoke M. Fayoade, has held a lecture on measuring gender-related killings of women and girls (femicides), with a view to presenting recommendations for data systems improvement, advocacy and Action.

The lecture, which was held at the MD Abubakar Conference Hall, Zone 2 Command Headquarters, Onikan, Lagos, was was presided over by AIG Fayoade with senior personnel in attendance.

The presentation, according to a statement by the Zone’s Public Relations Officer, SP Ayuba Ummah, and made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP), was an awareness and training programme, which aims at closing the statistical gap and establish a framework for measuring femicides within the Nigeria Police Force and relevant stakeholders to enhance policy making in ending this brutal manifestation of Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) as well as provide a comparable data for global reference.

During the lecture, the Force Pathologist, ACP (Dr.) Samuel Keshinro, spoke on “Measuring Gender-related Killing of Women and Girls (femicides) in Lagos State to Present Recommendations for Data Systems Improvements, Advocacy and Action” focusing on the importance of data collection to assess the burden of femicide according to the framework of the International Classification of Crime for Statistical Purposes (ICCS). The ICCS is a classification of criminal offences developed by the UN based on internationally agreed concepts, definitions and principles to enhance the consistency and international comparability of crime statistics and improve analytical capabilities at both the national and international levels.

At the presentation, Dr Keshinro cited the Spotlight Initiative (the United Nations high-impact initiative to end violence against women and girls) on VAWG stating that one in three women experience sexual, physical, and psychological abuse including victims of trafficking, or violent social norms. The pervasiveness of VAWG which is a subset of GBV that specifically targets females are perpetrated by intimate partners i.e. Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) which includes husbands, boyfriend, ex-husband and ex-boyfriends causing sexual, physical, and psychological harm to the female gender. The extreme form of VAWG that causes death is called FEMICIDE defined by the UN as the intentional killing of a woman or a girl with a gender-related motivation.

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Food for Living: Help Yourself

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Dear Destiny Friends,

The best helping hand you will ever find is at the end of your own arm –  John Mason

One of the best forms of love, if not the best, is self-love. The ultimate truth is that apart from the creator, nobody can love you more than you can love yourself.

As human beings, sometimes, we depend on other people’s love to feel loved. Some people even desire social media and online love just to be accepted into the society. No doubt, everyone loves attention and approval.

Everyone loves to be accepted, appreciated, and recognized, but some of us are not ready to do the needful to attract the desired attention. The simple truth about life is that nobody can give you attention, neither will anyone give you recognition if you have not given them a reason to do so. So, one needs to help themselves before other people can help them.

Helping yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. When you help yourself, the joy hits differently. Helping yourself is not limited to adding value to your life. Did you know that self-care is a lifestyle, and it is one of the ways to help your life. Some of the ways self-care can help your life are engaging in regular exercise, eating healthy, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and sleeping well. Self-help also involves taking care of your mental, emotional, physical, environment, recreational, financial, social, physical, and spiritual needs.

Did you know that practicing simple self-care activities can help one achieve greater mental clarity, and gain a better understanding of their feelings?

Helping oneself is okay so long as it doesn’t involve unlawful actions or breach of peace. It’s sad to see people engage in illegality just to get what they want.

Those that depend on fellow human beings for help might be disappointed. Even though they may not have the intention to fail you, life sometimes, happens. They too might be going through personal challenges. Always leave a space in your heart to forgive or overlook when supposed friends, mentors, family members, mentors and benefactors don’t come through for you.

The sad reality of life is that, most times, we like to receive from resourceful persons, but we don’t seem to ask who will give to them. Do you think manna will fall from heaven for them? No. They must find creative ways to make ends meet. One of my mentors once stated, ‘you can work alone, but you can’t eat alone’.

What you don’t know is that these resourceful people were able to help themselves. That’s why they were able to get assistance from established institutions and resourceful people. Some of them might have had a business plans which they pitched to a team of panelists. Some developed programmes, sowed seeds, traveled far and wide and made mistakes while searching for the right path. These are some ways of helping oneself.

I have always stated, we all go through a secret frustration which nobody knows. For a fact, it is easier for people to assist you when you have added adequate value to your life. When you do, people won’t see you as a liability, rather, they will see you as a resource being.

In my journey towards life, I have realized that when you have a mentor or leader you respect, your ability to do the work will enable them to put the icing on the cake. I vividly remember when I published my first book, I had to reach out to Dr. Chief Dele Momodu to write the Foreword to my book. He was kind enough to accept my request. Imagine, if I had not written the book, the opportunity wouldn’t have arisen.

Now, you see that I was able to help myself before help came through. Isn’t it true that heaven helps those who help themselves.

In contemporary times, sometimes, we hope and rely on family members, friends, mentors, associates, mentees, benefactors and more, to help our craft just because we feel and think they are in a better position to assist us, depending on their position or status, but the reality is that sometimes we ask people things that are beyond them and when they refuse to assist, we feel offended.

One of my mentors, Dr. Yomi Garnett, rightly stated as follows, “So your aunt won’t help you financially. Your well-connected uncle won’t give you an introductory note to his minister-friend. Refuse to despise or resent them. Forgive them. Make excuses for them, such as they have enough challenges of their own. Then promptly take responsibility for your own life and your own success by asking God to show you His way.”

I can relate to Dr. Garnett’s statement because, in the past, I have tried to reach some people, some I shared my programmes for consideration, while others came via introduction. In most of these engagements, I couldn’t get what I wanted either because I didn’t come prepared, or was yet to develop the required capacity and competence to execute the task. However, when I developed expertise, they came for me, and in some cases, I was highly recommended. This is the reality of life; people generally love ripe fruits as opposed to unripe fruits which don’t taste nice.

During my formative years, I depended on people to the extent I feel entitled for their support because I felt they were rich, wealthy, and highly connected. I didn’t realize life doesn’t work that way. It was much later in life I realized that it will be easier for them to share their network and net worth with me when I have helped myself. As a matter of fact, that has become my fate because I have had opportunities to relate and work closely with some of my benefactors.

Today, I charge you to make an intentional effort to help yourself. Give your life a meaning. Stop complaining and start to take action to change the course of your life. You are not alone in this struggle; we are all in it together. Remember, nobody can write your story more than you and if you don’t talk about yourself, nobody will talk about you.

In conclusion, endeavor to help yourself so others can help you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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