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Food for Living: Perception and Reality of Life
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Destiny Friends,
Among the many mysteries surrounding life, the greatest of them all is life itself. This is because one cannot completely understand life in its shape or form. According to some schools of thought, understanding life is akin to understanding a woman. You must agree with me that the year 2020 will not be forgotten in a hurry because of the impact of the Coronavirus pandemic. Many people didn’t really see it coming. Understandably, many people have already planned how their lives, businesses, marriages, academic, and work will be shaped, but they were humbled by the virus which claimed many lives, businesses and gave the world a ‘new normal’ of living life.
In our contemporary society, perception is everything, especially in this digital era where most people live their lives on social media. One of the ways to understand someone is to look at how they invest their time and money. For instance, you can use social media to decipher someone’s interest due to what they post, and how they engage in conversation. However, the reality is that, that might not be their real being; they may be using the platform to advertise or promote their businesses. Again, people only show you what they want you to see.
Perception is how we see about ourselves and our surroundings. Crucially, it is the stories we tell ourselves about life, and that in turn reflects in our own life because perception equals projection. If a child lives in love, he/she learns to love humanity, but if a child lives with hostility, he/she tends to relate with a hostile attitude to the world. According to Henry Thoreau, “The question is not what you look at, but what you see.
There are two types of perception: the way you see yourself and your world and the way others see you and their world. The only perception you have control over is your own. If you perceive your life as lacking what you need, you worry more about conserving what you have rather than attaining those things you want and need. Our brains automatically process what we worry about and then change our perception.
It is widely stated that appearance is not reality. For instance, while someone might say life is easy if you understand the principles, and do what you must do, another person might say, life is hard because he or she might have done what he/she is supposed to do and might be unfortunate. While someone might say marriage is great, another person might have a contrary opinion, while someone might say, brothers/sisters of even siblings are priceless, another person might say, there are friends who stick closer than brothers.
As we soldier on in 2021, your target should be how to work on your mind. The success of anything on planet earth starts from the mind. As a transformational mindset coach, I train and coach people on how the mind works, especially as it relates to inspiring and empowering them on how they can unleash their God-given potentials. For instance, while many people were affected by the pandemic, some resourceful minds used the pandemic to launch new businesses and networks to engage with people. That’s improvisation which only works if you can think out of the box.
Life is basically how you make your bed. Alternatively, you can say, life is simply how you cook your food. If you put the right ingredient, steam the meat, fry the rice, and use proper timing to cook your meal, you’ll get the desired output. You can’t have the wrong proportion of ingredients to cook your meal and expect a sumptuous meal. It’s just like the computer; garbage in, garbage out.
To understand the reality of life, you need to think out of the box. Let’s share some examples of the realities of life. Bad things also happen to good people just like the rain falls on every roof; our educational system does not provide the right or complete tools for success. For example, you might have a Ph.D. MBA, or a degree, that doesn’t mean you’ll succeed or have money; most times we hear the government is here to help you, but the truth is that most times, the government gives programmes and policies that favour its interest.
Most times, we follow the bandwagon or celebrities with the assumption they are always right, but the reality is sometimes the majority can steer us in the wrong direction. We also live in a world where people say, money does not equate to happiness, but the truth is that money is very important in life and it can buy laughter in addition to making the world go around; No great man ever achieved anything great without failing. Anybody that doesn’t fail before achieving greatness has no authentic experience and story to share for people to believe his story or impact.
There can never a perfect environment no matter how hard we try. Crime and hate will always prevail in our society. That’s the reality of life. Social media can make or mar you depending on how you use it. Human beings by nature are insatiable, you can never please them. According to Bill Cosby “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone”. The false perception of life is that when you show love, people will show you love, but the humble truth is that there’s so much negativity everywhere no matter the love you show.
Having the right perception, understanding, and attitude to life will go a long way to shaping your thoughts towards life. A great way of overcoming the vicissitudes of life is by having the right perception. The simple truth is life is generally hard because nothing good comes easy. Let’s say, for instance, running a business can be hard; searching for a job can be a difficult task; being unemployed can be very challenging; staying in marriage can be hard; being divorced is also hard, and being single is also hard. The moral of the message is that everyone has his/her burden to carry. It’s just how you decide to live your life. Just focus on making your hard easier! Life can get easier, but life can never get easy. The earlier you understand and adjust to this reality, the more fulfilled you will be. According to Ari Gunzburg, “Tell yourself to change your vision to change your decisions. You need to pay attention to how you perceive anything. Your perception is your reality.”
Therefore, as you work in 2021, approach life in a dynamic manner taking into consideration what works for you and what doesn’t work because your life is shaped with your perception and understanding.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and transformational coach. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Dear Destiny Friends,
Every human being loves to get approval, either for the great work they have done or the ones they are doing. They love to be appreciated and admired. They also love to be given attention when they have something valuable to say or do. In all of these, one thing is certain, there is something special about us, and this special thing makes one unique, and ultimately attracts people to us.
Let’s face it, nobody will admire you, appreciate you, approve you and give you attention if you don’t have anything to offer. The reason most people associate with someone is because they feel or know there’s something they can gain from the person. It’s hard for someone to relate closely with someone who they don’t see potential value in.
There is no doubt each and everyone of us is unique, yes, there’s something unique about you. You can sing, you can write, you can dance, you can lead, you can serve, you can cook, etc. One can even be a good actor, athlete, comedian, or preacher. The list is literally endless. Now, what’s unique about you?
When you discover what’s unique about you, please do all within your reach to nurture and develop it. One day, the right person, who truly appreciates and knows your value will celebrate you.
I have a friend who is exceptionally skilled in writing and developing creative contents. I call him a genius because he can literally write a book within a week. How he does it is what I don’t understand. I was surprised when he once told me he wrote a book and manuscript in one week. According to him, he has been developing the contents mentally, but hasn’t found time to put his thoughts together, and when he finally gets his thoughts together, he was able to write the book and manuscript. This is a typical way of knowing a unique being.
Many, however, do not know what’s unique about them. We focus our energy chasing what is not chasing us instead of focusing on developing what we already have. It’s sad to see young and old people living their lives in an unintentional manner with a belief that somehow lines, favour or opportunities will fall in place for them.
Sometimes, we rely on other people’s affirmation and opinion, and accept it as our fate. For instance, just because one is tall, he might be told he will be a great fit for basketball without considering if the athlete loves basketball; again, just because someone is very intelligent, his parents will encourage him to major in a particular discipline, which is perceived as lucrative without considering if the person likes it pr not.
I once experienced this fate when my late dad inspired me to study taxation law in New York Law School, a major I detest with passion. It was like a suicidal mission for me because I do know, it will take miracle to graduate from the program. How I was able to get a scholarship for my grades and graduate in record time is a story for another day. I’m not wired as a finance person, I will better serve humanity in the social and developmental space where my skills, talents, gift and passion will be better utilized. And ever since I joined the space, I have seen results.
There are many cases where many people lose their identities without knowing they are unique. We are all unique in our individual ways. Just like there are several gifts and talents, we have different skills. When you know what’s unique about you, you will stand out and the world will not only appreciate you, but will celebrate you.
When one discovers the power of their uniqueness, we will gather strength to unleash it to the world. Uniqueness works in several ways. For instance, the mere fact that ten people are genius, talented, skillful or valuable in a particular work, the person with the unique gift is the person who will not only stand out, but will be called upon to do the work.
Let me share more insight. If ten people sing a particular song with a great voice, the person who is called to be a singer will receive a unique appreciation because he/she is working on purpose. That is why it is easy to see a lot of people venturing into a particular form of business, but the favour of the business will not locate them because they are not uniquely destined to do business.
Few years ago, one of my mentors shared a deep insight with me. He said that, as a trained medical doctor, he once observed that despite the fact there are hundreds and thousands of medical doctors practicing their profession. One fateful day, he noticed a particular patient was not responding to treatment despite all the medication that had been given to him by a nurse, his health was deteriorating, then another nurse came and administered the same pill a nurse gave the patient, and the patient began to feel better. What does that tell you? The second nurse was probably working in her purpose which aligns with her profession, and as such the corresponding success. This goes to show that when one is unique, it has a way of robbing off on their work.
Furthermore, he stated that Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, and Beyonce are some of the gifted singers and dancers the world has ever celebrated. He went on to say that we have hundreds and thousands of musicians, but only a few have got the spotlight.
What does that tell you? When you are unique, the world will celebrate you. I have understood that the fastest way to get recognition in life is to work in areas where one’s strength and unique gift will better serve the purpose. This is simply because the world does not celebrate one’s weakness, rather, the world celebrates one’s strength.
In recent times, I have seen myself as a counselor and human inspiration. My counseling skills have enabled me to influence people to live positive lives. Overtime, I have realized that when people share their burden with me, they feel relieved after speaking with me. What amazes me most is the fact that even my elders feel comfortable to relate with me on a cordial basis. Maybe, I have a unique gift for counseling and educating.
Today, I am going to charge you to focus your energy and time on whatever will bring you the highest satisfaction. Even if you are looking for a job, applying for school, or seeking any opportunity, your focus should be centered on what you have that the job, school or opportunity will amplify. When you do so, you will be in high demand.
In conclusion, please affirm to yourself today, I am a unique being with a unique personality, purpose and gift.
Say to yourself, ‘I am original’, and refuse to be fake.
Again confess that your originality, authenticity and uniqueness will attract favours, blessings, opportunities from leaders and queens to you, and you will be celebrated.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC) has emerged as the Best Road Safety Agency in Africa. This monumental achievement corroborates the Corps’ almost four decades of dedication, resilience and passion towards safeguarding lives on Nigerian roads.
The Corps, according to a statement made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP), received the award at the 3rd edition of the Kofi Annan Road Safety Award held in Elzuwini in the Kingdom of Eswatini, South Africa between 14th and 15th of April 2025.
You may recall that Kofi Annan Road Safety Award was initiated by the Office of the United Nations Secretary General’s Special Envoy on Road Safety in collaboration with Kofi Annan Foundation to immortalize the contributions of African illustrious son Kofi Annan who served as the Secretary General of the United Nations.
The prestigious Road Safety Management Award represents a badge of honour for Nigeria, and a pure testament of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu’s commitment to unflinching support for the Federal Road Safety Corps and his believe in the Corps’ potential to serve as a model for other African nations. Indeed, FRSC’s tireless efforts to reduce road crashes and promote safe driving practices have paid off, earning recognition across the continent.
The recognition further speaks volume, as well as justifies the giant strides Nigeria has made in ensuring safety of road users and her leadership role in the Sub-region.
Reacting to the recognition, the Corps Marshal, Shehu Mohammed said that it is a testament to FRSC’s unrelenting passion for road safety. He thanked the entire community of the motoring public, stakeholders, partners, and the Nigerian people for their support. Emphasising that together, the Corps was able to achieve the enviable feat because of the collective energy and all round support received from the motoring public.
The Corps Marshal also revealed that FRSC’s winning formula includes, innovative strategies, implementing cutting-edge road safety initiatives that drive results, collaboration, fostering partnerships with stakeholders to promote road safety awareness, community engagement, educating the public on safe driving practices, full deployment of technology and road safety protocols.
The award was received on behalf of the Corps and the Federal Republic of Nigeria by the Principal Staff Officer to the Corps Marshal ACM Meshach Adigizi Jatau.
A Chief Magistrate in the Rivers State Judiciary, Mr. Ejike George, has resigned his appointment.
He hinged his decision on the unease over the appointment of a Sole Administrator to oversee the affairs of the State.
His resignation was contained in a letter dated April 11, 2025, and addressed to the Honourable Chief Judge of Rivers State through the Secretary of the Rivers State Judicial Service Commission.
The letter was titled “Voluntary Retirement From Service.”
George, who disclosed that he had put in 16 years in the judiciary, said the appointment of a Sole Administrator is tantamount to a “quasi-military administration.”
He expressed dismay over the direction of the governance of the State, which he said is “alien” and “antithetical” to the values of the legal profession.
The statement read: “This present is intended to convey my decision to voluntarily retire my appointment as Magistrate of the Judiciary of Rivers State.
“This difficult and regrettable decision is informed largely by my discomfort with the recent appointment of a quasi-military administration to run the affairs of a modern state like ours.
“Milord will agree with me that this type of governance system is not only alien but also runs antithetical to our hallowed profession as legal practitioners and adjudicators.
“Having put in a whopping 16 (sixteen) out of my 22 (twenty-two) years of legal practice into this Judiciary as Magistrate under successive democratic administrations, I find it difficult to work with the current setting, as doing so would amount to a tacit and naive acquiescence.
“Thanks Milord, for the opportunity to serve.”
