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Food for Living: Relationship is the New Currency
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The value of a relationship cannot be overemphasized. The right relationship is gold. The right relationship is a diamond. The right relationship is priceless. One of the best things that can happen to any person is to have the right relationship. Every living creature, both animals and human beings, needs a relationship to survive.
It is obvious that no human being can survive on their own terms. Regardless of what one may have, everyone still needs people in his life. Isn’t it true that nobody is an island? The creator of the universe deemed it wise in his infinite wisdom and understanding to give each and every one of us different skills, gifts and understating. That’s why we are limited as human beings in our abilities, hence the need to reach out to humanity for support.
To understand the currency in a relationship, you have to tap into it. Let me share a secret with you; if you have ever tried anything in life and it didn’t work out well, try sharing your idea with a group of progressive minds. Let me ask you; have you ever wondered why despite the amount of wealth a man/woman may have, they still need human beings. This is because money can get you a comedian, but it can’t give you peace of mind. The same principle is applicable to politicians who know that they need the support of electorate to win elections. Even married or divorced couples know that the right relationship is critical to their success. I can go on and on, but as a sage may say, a word is enough for the wise.
The value of a relationship is priceless. When you cultivate the right relationship, you can be sure of living a blissful life. Just to reinforce the importance of having the right relationship; did you know you can get to any position in life faster when you have the right relationship? Did you know you can get a job, business opportunity, position, etc. faster when you have the right relationship than when you have the right degree, business plan, and experience? This is because the right relationship trumps other variable factors, especially when you have the basic qualifications and requirements. Did you know that when a critical decision that will affect you is been discussed, you won’t be around? That’s why who likes you matters, but more importantly, It’s always good to know how to relate with people because you never can tell where the pendulum might shift.
Relationships, however, go beyond just meeting people at social events, schools, online, work environments and public places. Meeting people in all these places is good, but the challenge most people have is managing these relationships. Relationship is like communication. The ability to communicate the right words to a friend, supervisor, colleague, supervisor, partner, stranger, parent, mentor, mentee, business partner, child, and even an enemy is a skill that needs to be understudied.
As human beings, sometimes due to anger, ego, and emotions, we utter the right words at the wrong places to the wrong person at the wrong time. But the ability to speak the right words at the right time can be a game-changer. The major challenge most people have is how to manage a relationship. For a relationship to stand the test of time, you need to nurture it. This is how you build a friendship. When you meet somebody for the first time, resist rushing them and telling them your life story, especially when the person is a very resourceful person. Take your time to study the person and give it time to grow. Desist from telling them your life problem. Nobody wants to know your problem because they are dealing with their own problem. If they want to know, they will engage you.
If the person is a resourceful person, do your basic research and take time to know what they like, the causes they are passionate about, the work they have done, and their worldview to life. When you reach out to them, let them know how you have understudied their work and then find a way to share your ideas with them and communicate in such a way they won’t be uncomfortable replying.
Nurturing a relationship is a skill that ought to be cultivated. To do this you must have a good personal intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship. Nurturing a relationship entails knowing the three categories of lifestyle: (Public, Private and Secret). Your public life is the lifestyle you exhibit for the general public to see. I call it the image perception lifestyle. This is the life you show the world and what you want the world to know about. Your private life is the life only your close family members and friends know, but your secret life is the life which only you know. So, when you meet somebody for the first time, know how to relate with the person with the aforementioned lifestyles.
For you to succeed in life, you need the right partnership in marriage, business and academics; they are very vital to your success. If you are involved in any form of relationship, business or academic pursuit, you must be able to differentiate between who is a companion and who is a compatriot. Companionship goes with emotional relationship, but compatriot goes with business and growth. However, you can convert your companion to your compatriot to achieve your goal. In that case, your spouse can serve as an accountability partner for you.
In conclusion, I will need you to take stock of your life and examine the people you have in your life and the relationship you are building. While some people may relate with you for what they will benefit from you, others will invest in a relationship selflessly for posterity.
Question: Are you building a relationship that can last six months or are you building a relationship that can metamorphose into a forest?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A federal judge in the United States, on Thursday, put a temporary block on President Donald Trump’s attempt to restrict birthright citizenship.
The ruling imposes a 14-day halt on the enforcement of one of the most controversial executive orders Trump signed hours after being sworn into office for a second term.
It comes after lawsuits were filed by a total of 22 states, two cities and numerous civil rights groups.
“This is a blatantly unconstitutional order,” senior US District Judge John Coughenour was reported as saying during the hearing in Washington State.
“I’ve been on the bench for over four decades, I can’t remember another case where the question presented is as clear as this one is,” said Coughenour, who was appointed to the bench by a Republican president, Ronald Reagan.
Birthright citizenship is fundamental to America’s national identity, with the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution decreeing that anyone born on US soil is a citizen.
It says, in part: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”
Trump’s order was premised on the idea that anyone in the US illegally, or on a visa, was not “subject to the jurisdiction” of the country, and therefore excluded from this category.
AFP
The Court of Appeal sitting in Akure, Ondo State capital has upheld the death sentence of Ramon Adedoyin, a prominent businessman and hotelier, for his involvement in the murder of one Timothy Adegoke, a former postgraduate student of the Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU), Ile-Ife, Osun State.
Delivering the judgment on Thursday, the court affirmed the earlier verdict of the Osun State High Court, which had sentenced Adedoyin to death.
“The judgment of the High Court of Osun State stands. Adedoyin’s appeal is dismissed in part,” the court declared in part.
The Court of Appeal, however, set aside some aspects of the lower court’s orders, including the forfeiture of the Hilton Hotel and the order for Adedoyin to pay for the education of Adegoke’s children.
Furthermore, the court ruled that it had no jurisdiction to impose penalties outside the statutory provisions
Adegoke’s death was reported in November 2021 after his corpse was found at the Hilton Honours Hotel in Ile-Ife, Osun State, where he had lodged.
The hotelier had travelled from Abuja for an examination at a distance learning centre in Moro, Osun State on November 5 of that year.
He had checked into the hotel but was reported missing after two days. However, Adegoke’s body was found days later, leading to a probe that linked his death to Adedoyin and others.
In May 2023, Adedoyin and others were sentenced to death after they were found guilty of murder and conspiracy to murder.
But dissatisfied with the judgement, Adedoyin approached the Appeal court to dismiss the sentence and conviction.
The court of appeal, on Thursday, however, upheld the conviction and death sentence of the hotelier.
