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Food for Living: Succeeding Through Relationship and Association

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By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Destiny Friends,

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people – Will Rogers

Success and failure have many components and characteristics, and one of them is association. However, many people don’t understand the power of association. Association works with relations. When you work and hang out with the right set of people, your chance of succeeding in life will be greater.

Did you know that your mindset contributes to success? As a matter of fact, your mindset can be described as the foundation of success because the success and failure of anyone starts from the mind. If you have the right mindset, you will think of the right relationship and association to belong to. If you have the right mindset, you will be concerned about your environment which can also contribute to your success.

Your attitude will change for the better if you have a progressive mindset, but if you have myopic and fixed mindset, your thoughts and experience will be limited regardless of your experience in a particular environment.

When people talk of relationship and association, it relates to the fabric of our society which starts from the family. A solid family where love and kindness are shown to the children, spreads love and unity among the siblings which in turn affects the society. When hatred, malice, wickedness, ungratefulness, and unhealthy attitude is sowed in the minds of children, they go out to the society with a hostile mindset. That’s why we have funny people and leaders who act like people without conscience.

Most people don’t know how blessed they are to be raised by decent parents in addition to having great siblings, until they meet people who have been damaged by society.

When one nurtures the right relationship, they are bound to reap the benefits when the right opportunity presents itself. It’s sad to note that many people have placed pecuniary gains and materialistic things above access and knowledge.

When you invest time and resources into the right relationship, it will germinate like a seed that is planted on a fertile soil. These relationships will introduce you to the right associations which will in turn provide you with the information you will need to succeed.

The power of information cannot be overemphasized. Information will only come to you when you have the right relationship and association. Did you know that if you are not informed, you are ill-informed and once you are ill-informed, you can’t perform because information leads to reformation and transformation. In fact, information leads to formation. You are a product of what you have learned, if you don’t read, you won’t know.

According to Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, “You are the same person today and in five years except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read.”

On a personal note, I can attribute my success to the relationship and association I keep. Sometimes, people ask me how I do what I do and how I meet the people I meet. I simply tell them, I’m smart by association and I’m a voracious reader. I say this because I am very intentional in what I do and how I relate with people.

Still on association, when people join associations or live in a particular neighborhood, they do it for a reason. When people pay to attend certain events, schools or travel or even volunteer for certain people or associations, they are doing it for a reason. When people seek mentors, they are seeking for people they hold in high esteem either in their professional capacity or based on their principles or integrity. Even the book of life says Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (“Proverbs 13:20).

One may be concerned; how does one build these powerful associations? It begins with being selective and intentional. The first question, one needs to ask oneself is what do I want from this person or association?  It’s important to align yourself with individuals who share your values and aspirations.

The next step is to embrace diversity. It’s imperative that you connect with people from various backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives to life. This will help to enrich your experience, worldview, in addition to making you more innovative and adaptive. We live in a global and social economy. Like I always say, why be local when you can be global?

Furthermore, according to an African proverb “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” You cannot do life alone. All you need is the right people and association. The right people will support your efforts and accelerate your success. The wrong people will retard your progress altogether. According to kola Adesina, CEO Sahara Group, what you need in life is the right people and not necessarily Presidents, Governors, celebrities or people with money.

In conclusion, do you want to succeed in life? Then be intentional with books, people and association.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Obi Denies Telling UK-based Nigerians to Abandon Relatives Back Home

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The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has denied asking Nigerians living in the United Kingdom to abandon relatives who depend on them for financial support, saying his message about hardship in Nigeria was distorted by political opponents.

Obi said he appreciates Nigerians in the Diaspora who make sacrifices to support their families at home, stressing that his concern is the country’s dependence on remittances to meet basic needs.

In a statement titled; “My Message Has Been Twisted”, posted on X on Tuesday, the former Governor of Anambra State clarified that he never asked Nigerians abroad to stop supporting their loved ones.

“I deeply appreciate Nigerians in the diaspora who work tirelessly and make enormous sacrifices to support their families back home,” he said.

“Their remittances pay for school fees, hospital bills, rent, and feeding expenses. Their patriotism and sacrifices deserve our profound respect. I never asked them to abandon their loved ones.”

Obi said his message was aimed at drawing attention to the economic conditions forcing millions of Nigerians to rely on relatives abroad for their survival.

“My concern is that Nigeria should not remain a country where millions depend on relatives abroad for basic survival,” he said.

“Our goal must be to build a nation that provides jobs, affordable healthcare, quality education, and economic opportunities for its citizens.”

He accused political opponents of misrepresenting his comments, insisting that his position is about addressing the causes of hardship rather than discouraging financial assistance to families.

“Political opponents may twist my message, but the truth remains clear: I am not asking Nigerians abroad to abandon their families. I am advocating for a Nigeria that will no longer abandon its own people,” he said.

The clarification followed backlash over comments Obi made during a town hall meeting with Diaspora supporters in Manchester on Sunday.

In a video that went viral, Obi urged Nigerians in the UK to think twice before giving money to relatives and others at home who ask them for financial assistance, arguing that such support could ease hardship without addressing its underlying causes.

“You have people at home in Nigeria today who are begging you for money. Tell them no!” he said.

Obi attributed the country’s economic difficulties to poor leadership, urging Nigerians abroad to encourage their relatives and friends at home to vote for leaders who would prioritise productivity and economic opportunities.

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Monday Ubani: Court of Appeal Affirms ₦12m Award Against EFCC

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The Court of Appeal, Abuja Division, has dismissed the EFCC’s appeal and affirmed the ₦12 million compensation awarded to Dr. Monday Ubani, SAN, for his unlawful 21-day detention in 2019. The court also awarded ₦300,000 in costs against the Commission.

Ubani was detained after securing administrative bail for a client accused of jumping bail. Despite a court order directing the EFCC to release him conditionally or charge him with any alleged offence, the Commission failed to comply, prompting his lawyer, Chief Professor Mike Ozekhome, to institute a fundamental rights action in his favour.
On January 5, 2022, the Abuja High Court, presided over by Justice Sylvanus Oriji, ruled in Ubani’s favour. The EFCC appealed, challenging the trial court’s jurisdiction and the amount of compensation awarded.

In dismissing the appeal, the Court of Appeal rejected both arguments, holding that the compensation was justified and that the EFCC’s investigative powers do not permit arbitrary detention or disobedience of court orders.
The judgment reaffirms that law enforcement agencies remain subject to the Constitution and judicial authority. It also underscores the protection of fundamental rights, the limits of law enforcement powers and the consequences of unlawful detention.

Beyond the financial award, the decision highlights the responsibilities of sureties and the obligation of security agencies to obey court orders, making it a potentially significant reference in future fundamental rights litigation.

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Food for Living: The Relationship Between Process and Failure

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

One of life’s most misunderstood concepts is the relationship between process and failure. When some people fail, they think they have done something wrong, but it could be that the person is experiencing the process, or their season has not yet come.

To understand this concept, let’s explain the two terms. A process is a series of structured actions, steps, or decisions taken in a specific order to transform input into a desired output or goal. Here are the key elements of a process

  • Inputs: The raw materials, data, or starting requirements (such as ingredients, customer requests, or raw code).
  • Activities/Steps: The specific tasks or decisions performed by people, tools, or machines.
  • Trigger: An event or demand that kicks off the process (like submitting an order or launching an app).
  • Output: The result, product, or delivered service.
  • Owner: The person or role accountable for the outcome.

Failure, on the other hand, is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable, required, or intended objective. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, failure can result from any of the following:

  • Omission or Neglect: Failing to perform an action that was promised, owed, or expected (such as a failure to pay on time or submit a report).
  • System or Organ Malfunction: A situation where a machine, computer, engine, or bodily organ stops working properly (such as engine failure or kidney failure).
  • Insolvency: A financial state of bankruptcy, such as the failure of a business or bank.

Having stated the above terms, one can decipher that process is a necessary tool for success. When a process is lacking, failure is inevitable.

I recently listened to a sermon by a Nigerian Pastor. According to the pastor, there’s something that looks like failure, but in a real sense, it is not failure; it is process. Sometimes in life, when we fail in business, examinations, careers, marriage, or even when our health fails us, the reason why they all happen is that we have failed to do the needful, or we need to go through a process.

Let me explain. Let’s say one has a business; if one has not taken the time to learn the trade very well, the person might fail for not learning a necessary skill required for the business, acquiring formal or informal education, or having a form of apprenticeship from a mentor, which might be all that’s necessary for the entrepreneur to succeed. This is what is called a process.

Also, a student will need to read, research, and do assignments to pass an examination. An employee will have to learn a job as an entry-level employee and work his way through to become the Chief Executive Officer. All this involves a process.

Marriage is not an exception. There’s no successful marriage without a form of mentoring or training.  A man/woman must undergo a process of marriage counseling to learn about how to win in marriage. In this training, they will learn about communication in marriage, money in marriage, sex in marriage, money in marriage, and personalities in marriage

I strongly believe that there’s time for everything. There is an appointed time for everything. When something is not in its season, don’t expect to deliver.  When one puts pressure, it’s bound to fail.

I can vividly remember what my most revered mentor, Dr. Yomi Garnett, counseled me on the importance of patience. A little background about the case: at that time, I had no job. I was working as a security officer. I tried to use my connections to secure a decent job, but it was very challenging. I reached out to Dr. Yomi, whom I call the sage because of his scintillating and rational wisdom. After ranting to him about my litany of problems, he said to me, “Henry, if you like, meet President Obama, Trump, etc.; if God is not ready to give you a job, you won’t get a job”. He went further to say, you can’t rush God. When the time is ready, God will align everything for you.

According to my mentors, there’s something God and the universe want me to learn. I must go through some process of refining for the task ahead.  These refining processes might be preparing for the greater task by learning what needs to be learned, or it could be a case of God teaching me wisdom or something of value that will be useful to me in the near future which I may not be able to see now.

When I look back in retrospect, I can authoritatively say my mentor was right.

Sometimes in life, we prepare for the opportunities, while sometimes, we don’t prepare. We just learn on the job. But I honestly think it’s good to prepare before one embarks on any journey. That preparation is called a process.

To understand how the process works, do you know that if you plant corn in the season that is not the rainy season, you will believe it’s a bad seed, but no, that’s not the case because you planted the corn in the wrong season. Even the bible says there’s a time for everything.

Also, someone might finish university and become frustrated because he doesn’t have a job. What the person might not know is that their season is yet to manifest. It could also be that the student might need refinement, which comes with the process.

It’s instructive to note that when your season comes, nothing can stop it; there will be alignment, and the universe will work for you. What you did many years ago that failed to attract attention will begin to attract attention and draw you in.

Today, I pray, may you command attention in your season, not after your season.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Success . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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