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Food for Living: Take Responsibility of Your Life
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Being responsible is one of the attributes of a reasonable rational being. Nobody wants to associate with an irresponsible man or lady. In fact, once you are perceived as an irresponsible person, you’ll lose not only credibility but also opportunities. It is instructive to note that you are the architect of your life. According to the Book of life, your joy is your joy, your sorrow is your sorrow, no one can share it with you.
Taking responsibility for your life is understanding that you are fully in charge of your own destiny through your own decisions. Taking responsibility for your life means that you acknowledge that no one has the power to determine how your life turns out – not your friends, not your parents, not even your spouse.
In the journey of life, we are always instructed to take care of our life. As a student, you are advised to take your academics very serious, as a man business man or woman, you are expected to make prudent decisions, as a Christian or Muslim, you are expected to be of sound moral character in order to not derail from the teachings of Christ or Allah.
When you take responsibility for your life, you are simply taking ownership of whatever concerns you. You don’t wait for anyone to create an opportunity for you, rather you create the opportunity yourself. Whether you fail or succeed, it up to you. Most time, we blame other people for the misfortune that come our way. In as much as you may reach out to cerebral minds to advise or suggest their kind opinions to you, it’s imperative to you know that the buck stops with you.
If you really want to get any work done, you’ll create the pathway. Isn’t it true that the whole world sets apart for the man who knows where he’s going? You may be experiencing many challenges in your personal life, marriage, professional work, academic, or business. In order to reset the button, you must take charge.
Let’s share some practical ways of how you can take responsibility for your life.
Marriage:
Marriage is a sacred institution for mature minds. In law, before you go into marriage, you must be of age and capacity. Capacity here means maturity. If you are not fully prepared for marriage, you are bound to experience challenges when you get married, Therefore, it is highly advisable for you to take care of your financial life by having a stable source of income nor matter how little it is, in that way, it will help in planning. You’ll only enjoy your marriage when you decide the buck stops
Another area you need to fix is emotional life and this has to do with your mental state of mind. When you are not mentally rich upstairs, you can make a little problem a big problem, but if you can mentally strong you can make a big problem little the way you handle it.
Finance:
One of the best ways to study a human being is to see how he or she spend his or her money. Just like you can use time to decipher the interest of someone, in same way, you can use money to know what someone likes. The true test of financial maturity is being able to control your appetite and buying only what you need as opposed to what you want. If you don’t take care of your finance it will control you like a slave. No one is responsible for your money or lack of it. No one can make you broke if you don’t give them permission. Have you ever wondered why some people are able to build wealth from humble beginnings, while others remain stuck in the same place despite having better incomes? To build wealth from your current income, you might need to spend money on a strict budget.
Professional work:
To succeed in work, you must be ahead of your game. If you need a promotion, you must be proactive and detailed. No one is responsible for your performance or lack of it. So long as you believe your boss is against you, you’ll never grow in your career. You’ll grow in your career when you realize you’re responsible for your professional growth. You’ll never be fired from any job when you know you’re responsible for keeping your job.
You Start Achieving Your Goals
This is one of the greatest benefits of taking responsibility for your life. Here’s the thing about success – it is never accidental. If you want to become a star athlete, you have to sacrifice your morning sleep so that you can train more. If you want to build a successful business, you have to sacrifice the weekly night out with your group of friends so that you can work on your business.
Quit the blame game
One of the hallmarks of someone who has not taken full responsibility of their life is the propensity to blame others for everything wrong in their life. Whatever kind of life you want to live, not one will give it to you or take it away from you.
Stop Complaining
Just like finding someone to blame, complaining about your situation or circumstances puts you in the position of a victim who has no control over their life. The reality is that the world is not an ideal place, and therefore, things will not always go your way. If things don’t go as expected, or if something happens to put you in a position of disadvantage, instead of complaining about the situation, focus on what you can learn from the situation and think of what you can do to get in order to get yourself from the situation.
Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.
To take responsibility for your life is to take responsibility for your powers of thinking, feeling, speaking, and acting, because this is the structure of all human experience. You create your life with your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. You take responsibility when you accept that the thoughts you have, are your thoughts coming from your mind. How you feel happens in your body and is a result of your thoughts. The words you speak come from your mouth and voice. The actions you take, are taken by you.
What this means is that nobody can make you think, feel, say or do anything. Nobody can push your buttons, because you are the button maker!
Make yourself happy
Taking responsibility for your happiness is liberating. Firstly, to realize that happiness does not come from outside of you. It is not the job of your partner, parent, friend, child, to make you happy.
To be happy is a decision and the gateway to happiness is gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal and you will find lots to be happy about. Also, do things that make you feel happy. Listen to your favorite music, surround yourself with beauty, express your creativity, do acts of kindness, etc. According to Miya Yamanouchi, “Don’t let society fool you into believing that if you don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend then you’re destined for a life of misery. The Dalai Lama has been single for the last 80 years and he is one of the happiest people on earth. Stop searching for happiness in places outside of yourself and start finding it where it has always been: within you.”
Live in the present moment
Life is now. There is only one moment, now. The past is history, the future is a mystery, so there is only now, this moment. Take responsibility for this moment and make the best of it to redeem the past and create the future you want.
It’s easier to blame your partner. It’s easier to blame your boss. It’s easier to blame a father who was never there for you. It’s easier to blame the economy. It’s easier to blame an errant boyfriend. It’s easier to blame a controlling woman. It’s easier to blame a misfortune in your past. While losers blame others, winners take responsibility for their lives.
Therefore, the first step to taking control over your life is to quit the blame game and acknowledge that everything boils down to you. Once you do this, several positive things will happen in your life.
You will start achieving more of your goals, your health and finances will improve, you will enjoy better relationships with others, you will become more courageous, your decision-making will improve, and your life, in general, will become better.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a self-discovery expert and works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
What would be your answer if the question, ‘who is your source’ is thrown at you? Tough, right?
Let’s begin from the beginning. Source may mean different things to different people. For a spiritually minded person, source may mean divinity while for those in the academia, it is where they get their research information from. Again, in courtroom settings, opposing counsels are noted to verify evidence to ascertain their origin. Even judges sometimes insists on for the authenticity of documents before admitting them as evidence. Even a child looks upon his/her parents as their source. Source therefore, can refer to the origin, or emanating point of a particular thing, action or activity. It can be that quality, trait or character that sets one apart and draws other things his way.
Somebody’s source can be his money, charming smiles, lovely voice, or even their access. The source varies depending on the aisle one belongs.
It must be said however, that the fastest way to destroy someone is to silence their source. For instance, the earning power of a man is seen as his bargaining power. So, if someone wants to frustrate him, they can tackle his business or job. Just like if someone wants to frustrate a child, the target will be the child’s parents because they know if the parents are down, it might affect the child.
As humans, sometimes we depend on our parents, mentors, friends, boss, husband, wife, children, siblings, leaders, benefactors, lecturers or men of God for support. Don’t get me wrong, all these are great support, but they are not the main support we need as human beings to go to the next level of life. They are all relative support one needs to thrive.
Source is like a trade secret. Nobody tells anyone what their secret is. Those, who have distinguished themselves in their particular fields might refer to God as their strength, but would surely remain silent as to the extra work they put in to get to where they are.
Let me give you a practical example; as a published author I can authoritatively tell you that God has been extremely kind to me. My books have opened doors for me, they has connected me to lots of resourceful people in addition to providing opportunities for which has brought value to my business. An ordinary man on the street will think I have been favored specially; some might even say I’m lucky or I’m a blessed man. But the truth is that I did my part. So, despite all my attributed and perceived success, I will tell you God did it for me. Again, remember, if I had not taken the time to write the manuscripts and have them published, networked with the right people, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten the opportunities I have received in recent times.
The moral is that everyone has a source, but not everyone is bold enough to tell you their source, but I can boldly tell you my source is God.
There was an interesting story I recently watched on social media where Pastor Mildred Okonkwo shared a true-life story about her marital life. According to her, despite Pastor Kingsley always being on television preaching and receiving ovations, she and her husband (Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo) were living in poverty to the extent that sometimes, they don’t have food to eat.
Sometimes, they had to manage to squeeze the tube together to get paste to brush their teeth and when that wasn’t enough, she had to use her kitchen skills to cut the container to scoop paste. She further stated that the situation degenerated to the extent they had to join crumbs of soaps together before they could get a decent bath. That was how bad it was.
This is where it gets interesting; she stated that she came from a family of those, who marry broke men. The situation was literally depressing. It made her take a deep breath to ascertain if that was going be her new reality. Her pensive mood was activated, and she asked herself for how long she would continue to live like this. Many thoughts were running through her mind. During one of her meditative moments, she got a revelation, she would be putting too much pressure on her husband, and it wouldn’t save the situation because her husband is not her source. God is her source.
When she came to that realization, she began to seek the face of God for blessings upon their family. It was at that moment she realized, as human beings we carry the blessings. This is the reality of most women. Most times in marriage, people put the burden and enrichment of their life on their husband instead of looking up to God, and within themselves. Who told you, you can’t make money as a person? The man you are looking up to doesn’t have two heads, four legs nor does he have four eyes, four hands, or fours ears.
It’s sad to note that sometimes most women think a man will take care of them; this mindset limits their creative abilities and possibilities because they think their is limited or may never come if a man doesn’t marry them.
It’s instructive to note that men and money don’t make people rich, rather it is the blessings of men and money that make us rich. Just like your salary doesn’t make you rich, rather the blessing on your salary makes you rich. One maybe wondering how this works; when one receives blessings from their parents, mentors, benefactors, boss, or even strangers who are beneficiary of their good deeds, that blessings have a way of positively affecting their lives in such a way that whatever the person lays his hands on will be fruitful. This is a typical example of how source works because the original blessing has manifested.
In conclusion, I will ask you, what’s your source? Take time to ask yourself, what am I you working on? Who can assist me to get to the next level? What is the requirement(s)? When these are figured out, take time to nourish and preserve them because one’s source is his power.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Justice James Omotosho of the Federal High Court in Abuja on Thursday began delivering judgment in the long-running terrorism trial of Indigenous People of Biafra leader Nnamdi Kanu in the defendant’s absence.
The judge ordered that the proceedings continue without Kanu after describing his behaviour in court as unruly.
The decision followed the dismissal of three fresh motions filed by the IPOB leader, which the court deemed unmeritorious.
Kanu had interjected during the ruling, insisting that the court could not proceed as he had not filed his final written address.
He accused Justice Omotosho of bias and claimed that the judge lacked understanding of the law.
After a brief recess, the prosecution, led by Adegboyega Awomolo, urged the court to continue the trial without Kanu, citing his disruptive conduct.
Justice Omotosho stated that while a defendant has a constitutional right to be present during trial, repeated misconduct can allow proceedings to continue in their absence.
“If a defendant misconducts himself or acts in an unruly manner during the course of his trial, his trial can be conducted in his absence,” he said.
He added that the Court of Justice is a temple of God.
He noted that Kanu’s unruly attitude was not new, as he had previously exhibited similar behaviour several times in the past.
The judge added that Kanu had indicated he would not present a defence, and that Thursday’s session was for judgment and possible sentencing.
Following the order, Kanu was removed from the courtroom, and the judge proceeded with delivering the ruling.
