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Food for Living: The Doctrine of Acceptance
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
I will not grieve for what does not come, because what does not come may prevent disaster from coming – Dr. Yomi Garnett
Compliments of the season. It’s that time of the year when everyone takes stock of their life in terms of personal, professional, financial and other areas of interest.
I strongly believe, an unexamined life is not worth living. As progressive minds, it’s important to examine how one has fared. This will help in preparing for the next chapter of living, especially as it relates to improving on mistakes and strategically working to accomplish great tasks.
Today, I chose to write on a personal topic of interest. This topic is so personal to me that I believe someone will learn from it. And for those wondering what the wisdom of acceptance is, it is implies that, ‘I will not grieve for what does not come, because what does not come may prevent disaster from coming’. Yes, this is so true because sometimes during the course of life, we may have made mistakes, experienced setbacks and encountered disappointments. It is normal for one to feel bad about the outcome, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s working for a destined plan or purpose which one may not see in the immediate sense.
I decided to write about the doctrine of acceptance because of an incident that happened to me a week ago. Please adjust your seat to read this touching story.
I was recently nominated to receive the United States Presidential Achievement Award by an organization affiliated to the White House which has authority to give qualified candidates who have seemingly achieved a considerable amount of pro bono work in a particular industry.
The eligibility requirement for this award is rigorous. I will share a few examples, one must have done more than four thousand hours of pro bono work in a particular industry, a candidate for this award must not be a sex offender in the US sex registry, the candidate must have a registered US company amongst others.
When I got the nomination, I was really humbled and honored to say the least. I was excited to know my work has received some attention in the right quarters. In all honesty, I didn’t know how big it was until a dear friend spoke some sense into me. In anticipation of the event, I prepared my business profile, executive profile, and submitted a professional headshot.
We were advised to come in a day earlier to settle down because the grand finale will end with a dinner because some people will receive honorary doctorate degree award, and some will receive Honorary Citizen Award from the State of Georgia. So, as you can see, it was a packed two days event where several people from across the country will converge for a life-changing event. Needless to talk about how important the networking session will look like.
On the day I was supposed to travel, I was two minutes late at the airport and as such, I missed my flight. I quickly booked the next available flight for the same day. I was glad to make it even though it was quite late.
The event began during the day with a ceremony for the honorary doctorate degrees. I was humbled to give a presentation to the deserving students.
I charged the students to impact the world with their degrees by making success in their life. I stated, it is not enough for them to have a degree, what’s important is what you do with it. I informed them they have all the tools, resources and knowledge to make an impact. I concluded by telling them it is not enough for them to have a degree, they must do something new, and something different. And if they are unable to develop themselves and humanity by making an impact with the degrees the Honorary degree is as good as useless.
After the event, I was so tired that I decided to take a short nap in preparation of the main dinner where the Presidential Award will be presented. Guess what, by the time I woke up from my short nap, the event was over. I almost had a heart attack when I looked at my watch. I was like, how did this happen? I saw many missed calls on my phone. The sad part was that the organizers informed me that most of the guests were looking for me. They were impressed with what they have read and watched about me.
While I was reflecting on what happened to me, I called one of my most revered mentors. I call him the mentor of all mentors; Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished and sophisticated ghost writer. I vividly narrated what had just happened. He sympathized with me, took a deep breath and said, “Henry, I will share with you a profound lesson of history you won’t forget in a haste”. He started by telling me, I shouldn’t grieve too much because everything that happens in our life happens for a reason whether we like it or not. He said, what happened to me is a mystery and only God knows.
According to him, if God wanted to wake me up, I would have woken up. He asked me a question; do you control what happens when you sleep? I said no. He stated, in every situation let’s give God the glory because one may not know what may have happened if our desires or plans came through. He advised me to accept my fate as God’s master plan. As a matter of fact, he told me to laugh about it and start praising God for what has happened and from the disaster that would have befallen me. It was at this moment he informed me about the wisdom of acceptance which is also known as doctrine of acceptance.
While I tried to explain to him, it’s all my fault because I slept off due to being tired during the ceremony. He responded that God made me tired so I can get a decent sleep. He stated who knows what would have happened on my way to the event or after the event. Who knows who I would have met that would have loved to do business with me in the near future and that journey would have either ended my life or hurt me in a terrible way.
He went on to explain a personal story he witnessed in 2013 where his driver was supposed to drive his friend for a 250 million contract in Abuja, Nigeria, but for some funny reasons his driver got drunk and slept off and by the time he woke up, he was quite late.
By the time they got to the airport, the plane was already departing. He felt bad, but managed to control his temper because he couldn’t change the situation and so he had to find a way to manage his attitude. He concluded the story by stating, may “God not allow us to see disaster”.
Guess what, his friend called him 30 minutes later to tell him the plane he missed had just crashed with nobody alive. He thanked my mentor and his driver for the delay which saved his life. It was at this moment my mentor stated, “don’t grieve for what didn’t happen, because what didn’t happen prevented disaster from happening”.
Furthermore, I tried to tell my mentor the people who were expecting to meet with me. He took a deep breath and said, Man is nothing before God. He said, I don’t need anybody to be successful, except God. He stated, reverencing God is bigger than shaking hands with billionaires. He said, what will be will be. According to him, nothing is of any real importance, it’s only our thinking that makes it so.
He reminded me about the story of Job in the Bible and how he lost everything, and how God blessed him in hundreds of folds at the appropriate time. He acknowledged the role of human beings as vessels for God’s blessing, and added that if God wants to bless me, he will bless me with or without human beings. His main point was that, I should desist from thinking more of man as the cornerstone to my blessings, instead to focus on God, and he will in turn use men without them knowing, to bless me.
My mentor said, ‘Henry, let me shock you, do you know there is a call you’ll receive now, and you will immediately forget what has happened? I said yes, he concluded by saying, may God not allow us to see disaster advised me again to laugh about what happened, and start thanking God.
After listening to him for 30 minutes, I became stronger, and started praising and worshiping God.
What’s the moral of this doctrine, sometimes in life, we experience setbacks, failures, disappointments and misfortunes. While we may feel bad about it, blame ourselves or attribute it to other causes, it may be a blessing in disguise which we may not know in the immediate sense.
In conclusion, I charge you to have an open outlook to life, and do all in your capacity to achieve your objectives, but don’t be hard on yourself if the inadvertent happens whether directly or indirectly due to life vicissitudes.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A magistrates’ court sitting in Ado-Ekiti, the Ekiti State capital, has granted N30 million bail to embattled lawyer and human rights activist Dele Farotimi.
At the hearing of the bail application on Friday, Magistrate Abayomi Adeosun ruled in favour of Farotimi’s bail request.
The magistrate stipulated that the bail conditions included two responsible sureties and required Farotimi to surrender his international passport to the court. Additionally, he was instructed not to grant media interviews while the case was ongoing.
The Ekiti Police Command had arraigned Farotimi following a petition from an elder statesman and Senior Advocate of Nigeria, Afe Babalola, who accused the activist of criminally defaming him in his recently-released book.
The Ooni of Ife, Oba Adeyeye Ogunwusi, has commiserated with the families whose children died in the stampede during a funfair in Ibadan, the Oyo State capital, on Wednesday.
“We share in the grief and pains that have engulfed the affected families. We pray that Olodumare grants them the fortitude to bear this trying time,” the monarch’s spokesman Moses Olafare said in a statement on Thursday.
At least 35 persons have been confirmed dead in a stampede that occurred at the Islamic High School, Basorun, Ibadan venue of the family event organised by Wings Foundation owned by a former queen at the Ooni’s Palace, Naomi Ogunseyi.
The police have arrested the ex-wife of the monarch and seven others for their various involvements in the funfair.
The police said the case has been transferred to the Homicide Section of the State Criminal Investigation Department, Iyaganku with a Deputy Commissioner of Police in charge leading the investigation.
Ooni’s spokesman expressed sympathy with the Government of Oyo State and the families of the children whose lives were lost in the tragedy.
The Palace also showed solidarity with the ex-queen, saying she genuinely cared for children and organised similar events in Osun State when she was queen.
The Palace spokesman said, “While at the Ile Oodua here as a queen, Miss Naomi Silekuola Ogunseyi demonstrated love and care to the children of Ile-Ife through similar events which she executed passionately to give succour to children of indigent parents every December period like this.
“The House of Oduduwa pledges to support all efforts aimed at bringing solace and healing to those affected by this devastating loss.
“The House of Oduduwa calls for immediate actions to prevent such unfortunate incidents in the future, emphasizing the need for rigorous adherence to safety standards and child welfare policies in educational institutions.”
“While the situation calls for solemn reflection and collective responsibility, we would want to express dismay at the unprofessional conduct of some bloggers who have chosen to sensationalize the tragic incident rather than uphold journalistic integrity.
“The House of Oduduwa encourages all stakeholders, from government officials to the media and citizens, to unite in compassion and constructive dialogue. Let us honour the memories of the departed by fostering a culture of care, respect, and accountability in our communities,” the statement added.
The National Inland Waterways Authority (NIWA) has issued a safety and security alert, urging Nigerians to prioritize safety while using the country’s inland waterways during the festive season. In a statement released by NIWA management, the Authority highlighted the importance of adhering to the Transportation Code, 2023, which has been gazetted and will be strictly enforced to ensure safe water transportation.
NIWA emphasized the need for boat operators and passengers to strictly follow safety measures to prevent avoidable accidents. Among the guidelines outlined, boat operators have been directed to avoid overloading their boats beyond approved limits and are required to provide lifejackets to passengers free of charge. Furthermore, the Authority banned the consumption of alcohol and other prohibited substances before or during boat rides.
The statement also made it mandatory for passenger manifests to be properly filled and confirmed before departure, while a compulsory safety talk must be conducted before setting sail. NIWA stressed that boat operations must not extend beyond 6:00 PM, and passengers are strongly advised against traveling on waterways at night.
In addition, NIWA warned against any activities that could destabilize boats while in motion and mandated all passengers to wear lifejackets while onboard. Assaulting or attacking NIWA officers or Water Marshals while they are performing their duties was also declared a punishable offense.
To ensure swift emergency responses, NIWA has placed its operational bases on high alert and has made emergency response lines 07039748740 and 08059543364 available to the public.
The Authority urged Nigerians to strictly comply with these safety regulations to prevent avoidable tragedies during the festive season. NIWA reiterated its commitment to maintaining safe and secure inland waterways for all users.
