By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Experience, by every standard, is a prerequisite for any human to move to the next stage of growth and existence. Experience comes in different forms as one journeys through life, covering health, finance, relationship, marriage, family, personal development or spirituality. We gain valuable experiences that help us see life or understand it in more ways than one.
It is right to say, we are shaped by the experiences life gives to us. It is always advisable to look at life more wholistically as opposed to concentrating on its negative aspects. Sometimes, our experience can serve as the game-changer we need to move to the next phase of our life, but before that can be done, we have to appreciate the experience.
For instance, when we go through turmoil, we experience discomfort, no doubt, but the inherent lessons lie in humility, prudence, patience, and even leadership. In some cases, the experience might be for someone else whom the universe might bring our way for us to teach them how to navigate the problem.
It is generally said that a smart man learns from his mistakes, but a smarter man learns from another person’s mistakes, and this is where the experience of life comes in. As progressive minds, we need the experience of mentors and those who have gone before us to teach us what we don’t know.
In business, an apprentice needs the tutelage of their boss to understand how to succeed in a particular industry or business. A mentee needs the experience of their mentors to succeed. A newly married couple needs the experience of seasoned couples to navigate the challenges of marriage. Even adults need the experience of their parents to know how to raise their children. The list is endless.
To understand how experience works, consider the story of a young man whose car broke down along the road. All efforts to fix the car proved abortive. While he was wondering what to do, an elderly man who was driving by stopped beside him, and inquired if there was a challenge. He stated that his car broke down and he’s having a hard time trying to fix it.
The old man offered to help. Though the young man hesitated, wondering what an old man could do, he yielded on second thought, and gave the old man a chance. After all, he had done all in his capacity, and yet, no solution. The old man opened the bonnet, hit a knob, and told the young man to restart the car. To his amazement, the car buzzed into life. In excitement, he asked the old man, ‘who are you?’, and he replied, ‘I’m Mr. Ford, the owner of Ford Motors’. The young man was humbled.
Now this is what I call experience. You can’t beat a man with experience. If Henry Ford didn’t have experience with his products, he wouldn’t have been able to fix the car.
There’s another story where a mentor was teaching a mentee about the importance of experience. According to the mentor, when the man with experience meets the man with money, the man with money will have to lose his money to gain experience, and the man with experience will have to use his experience to gain money.
According to Abraham Lincoln, “If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first four of them sharpening my axe”. A man without experience might spend the entire six hours cutting down the tree, and that alone can be exhausting and draining. This goes to tell you the importance of mentors. Without the experience of mentors, one may work harder, but with the influence of mentors, one will work smarter.
In the course of life, many people think they can navigate life hurdles on their own. This set of people gets burned out; they fail to understand that mentors are lifesavers.
According to an African proverb, ‘if one wants to go fast, he will go alone, but if he wants to go far, he must go with a team’. Another African proverb states that “What an old man sees while sitting down on a tree, no matter how tall a child grows, he won’t see it”. These two quotes emphasize the importance of mentors in the life of a progressive mind.
One of the most uncharitable disservices I can do in life is to attribute my success to myself as a result of my hard work. My life has literally been shaped by the role of mentors and elders whom I hold in high esteem. In some cases, I seek the counsel of younger people who are knowledgeable than me in a particular area, and their suggestions have worked like magic.
Sometimes, I laugh at people who attribute their success to their personal development. In some cases, they say they are self-made. Don’t get me wrong, personal development and hard work contribute to the success of human beings because even if you have mentors and elders, who guide and support you, if you are not determined to succeed, success will definitely elude you.
Let me share a practical experience with you. I was given an opportunity to publish my weekly articles on a notable platform by one of my mentors. This mentor of mine is not responsible for writing the articles; he just gave me a platform, and each time I write, I have an editor who reviews my work before it gets published. Now, somebody reading my work will think I’m a smart man, but the truth is that I’m not just smart; rather, I am smart by association because I have a team that assists in shaping my work. Do you see that nobody is self-made?
Furthermore, there are opportunities and doors I know for a fact I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to penetrate if not for the role of mentors and elders in my life, whom I occasionally seek their advice. They serve as a strong support system to me both in my personal and professional development.
As you journey through life and experience, please don’t take it personal. Sometimes, the trials, setbacks, and challenges we go through are targeted and structured in such a way that God is positioning you to use them to counsel or assist someone in the near future. In some cases, it might be to strengthen or benefit you.
In summary, we all need the experience of life and mentors to navigate through life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
