Opinion
Opinion: Abiodun Fatoyinbo: Innocent Until Proven Guilty

By Chekwube Adaba Kwentua
It is no longer news that Pastor Fatoyinbo is not having the best of times at the moment. Accusations, name smearing and controversies, happen to be his lot at this critical moment of his life as a pastor of one of the fastest growing church in Nigeria.
The internet has been agog for a while now and the subject of interest seems to be the alleged rape accusation levelled against the pastor of the Commonwealth Of Zion Assembly, by Busola Dakolo, wife of popular musician, Timi Dakolo. Busola just recently came out all blaring in an interview she had with a television station, claiming pastor Fatoyinbo forcefully slept with her, when she was a teenager, several years ago in Ilorin.
Now, I am not going to bore you with the details of how that happened, as I believe many people would have either watched the video clips of the interview or read about it on the internet. However, this article is all about how we have already crucified, and sentenced the man, even without listening to his own part of the story. In every situation, I believe there are three sides to a story; my side, your side and the fact. Now, we have all read or heard from the Dakolos but can we please wait for the man of God to at least put up a proper defense before we conclude on the matter? As at the time of publishing this article, it was alleged that the man of God had denied ever rapping anybody, even while as an unbeliever. He had also threatened to sue the Dakolos and probably get justice. Now, can we wait until when the man of God takes the Dakolo’s to court? And even if he does not take them to court, probably due to pressure, can we at least wait for him or his team of publicists to speak out and put up a proper defence?
The least we can do as concerned children of God is to apply ample pressure on him to come out and defend himself, and not to crucify him, even before he speaks out.
Several years ago, while I was running a diploma course in Mass-Communication in a school of journalism in Lagos, I stayed with an older female cousin and her family, as a way of eliminating the cost of transportation, since her house was close to the school where I was studying for the diploma. While at her place, I did all I could to be friendly with my immediate neighbours and I really did that, without discrimination. I was friends with both adults and children.
There was this particular girl who was a house maid to one of our neighbours; she took a special interest in me and I for once, never saw it as anything special. I am the type of man who believes people’s path cross each other, for a reason and I try never to chase people away from me, no matter the age difference. This girl was 13 years of age, as at that time and all I could do, was to help her in her school assignments, whenever she brought them to me. I never for once made any passes at her because I knew within me that doing that will change the respect she had for me and even my cousin.
However, something happened one day that changed my perception towards making friends with under aged girls. Something that opened my eyes to how devilish some women can be. This particular day, I came back from lectures very famished and tired. I had hardly settled down at home, when I heard a knock on our door! Since I was home alone that day, I reluctantly went to get the door and on opening the door, I saw this particular girl. As soon as I saw her, my mind told me immediately that I had to look for a way of discouraging her from entering the house, because I knew I was at my most vulnerable state and could easily fall into the temptation of having sex with her. As soon as she asked if I was home alone, I ignored the question and quickly went into the kitchen, brought out an empty plate and pleaded with her to help me get food from a restaurant, down the street. She bluntly refused, saying that was not what she came for! I got angry, asked her to leave my house since she felt I was too little to send her on an errand. She suddenly became wild and started raining abuses on me, calling me all manners of names. I picked up a belt and rushed towards her; she saw me and ran as fast as she could. While trying to escape, she tripped and fell and injured herself on her face. I left her alone to her fate (I was really livid to care about helping her up), and locked my door.
Evening came and my cousin was back from work with her husband. They had hardly eaten dinner, when we heard a knock on the door. I got the door and was not surprised to see this little girl with her madam at the door. They walked into our apartment and before I knew it, they started accusing me of trying to kill their girl, just because she refused my sexual advances! I was so mad after hearing that; I was restrained from hitting the girl by my cousin’s husband, who later apologized to the madam and promised they were going to deal with me appropriately. They left after getting this assurance from my guardians.
As soon as they had left, my cousin and her husband scolded me dearly and then they asked for my own side of the story. I told them what happened and after several questions, my cousin’s husband finally seemed to agree with me, because he had also heard of a story concerning the girl, trying to frame another guy up. This guy, according to him, had to involve the police, in order to clear his name. And that was how; I was cleared of the rape accusations.
Now, I didn’t write all this to hold brief for pastor Fatoyinbo. I have never met the man in person and don’t have any form of relationship with him but this story was shared, to ask every right thinking person, to hold on with the judgement, until the man of God puts up a proper defense. The questions I asked myself after reading about the rape accusation, were: Why wait until now to expose the man of God, when the deed was committed several years ago? Why will a man of God be bold enough to come and rape you in your family’s house? She said her sister was at home, why didn’t she scream when she was been raped, knowing fully well that her sister was at home and she would probably come to her rescue? Why didn’t Busola expose this dirty secret when her husband was shaking the internet with all manner of accusations against the general overseer of COZA? Don’t we have a Christian body umbrella that investigates these kinds of allegation? And finally, why is nobody from COZA saying anything tangible yet?
I am not in any way supporting rape. I seriously detest any form of forcefully sleeping with a woman and I will be the first to caste the stone, if pastor Fatoyinbo is found guilty, but until all facts are laid bare for all to see probably in a court of law, I implore us to seize being judgmental based on emotions. Remember, what we heard was an allegation and not a fact.
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Food for Living: Spiritual Connectivity of Happiness and Opportunities

By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Happiness is something everyone should strive for. The pleasure and joy that comes with a blissful mind is priceless and unimaginable. There are certain things that keeps the mind in a state of perpetual happiness, and they varies. To some, it entails having money, children, education, job, and fulfilling a vision, while to others, it means singing, getting married to a dream partner, traveling, cooking, among others. The list is endless. And if I may ask, what makes you happy?
Personally, I derive joy when I put smiles on people’s faces. I can confidently say, I can be too kind to a fault. Sometimes, when I have a heavy heart, to decongest my sad state of mind, I may decide to be a blessing to someone who is experiencing misfortune. This act makes me feel happy and whenever I complete the act, I do feel a sense of fulfillment like a heavy burden has left my body. Isn’t it true therefore, that one gets what they want faster when they assist other people to get what they desire.
Being happy is indeed a state of mind. Sometimes, we think other people can make us happy. Sometimes we tend to attach our happiness to our partners and friends instead of ourselves. There’s no doubt the people in our lives have a role to play in making us happy, but the big factor responsible for our happiness is our mindset and perspective to life.
Let me share a practical example. One day, while I was in college, I was having a decent conversation with a friend of mine, and he said to me, ‘Henry, have you ever thought of having a girlfriend’? He touted me saying, you know you are one of the handsome guys in college and ladies love you so much. I was curious to know why he asked such a question so I asked, why do I need a girlfriend? He said they will make me happy. I said, that’s interesting to know. I asked him, so are you telling me, the simple reason you are happy is because you have a girlfriend? He said not really. I said to him, happiness is an inside job. As a matter of fact, I showed him a book by John Powell titled, Happiness is an inside job, which I was reading at the said time.
I further told him that ladies don’t make men happy, rather they complement their happiness, and vice versa. The mistake most people make is focusing their joy on human beings, and when they are disappointed, they begin to lament. True happiness should be vested in causes not material things. Material things are important, no doubt, but they are not as important as causes, especially as it relates to happiness.
Did you know that there’s a spiritual connection between happiness and success? Yes, this is so true because when one is happy, there’s a certain level of joy, satisfaction and energy that comes to them. The energy makes them passionate about a cause, and when one is passionate about a cause, they will be consistent in pushing the brand which will ultimately attract opportunities.
The importance of happiness cannot be overemphasized. When one is genuinely happy, he will not be stressed while working. That explains why it’s always good to love the job you do, and when you love what you do, what you do will ultimately love you, and this will attract opportunities.
Overtime, I have seen that people, who love what they do produce a certain level of results more than those who just do the job they are paid to do. Experience has shown that when people are adequately compensated for the work they do, they tend to do it with joy and when a work is done with a job, the result tends to be different.
Whenever I need a certain level of work, I always look for those who are gifted and talented in that craft before I explore the option of those who are intelligent and skillful. This is because someone who is talented or gifted in a particular craft has a form of blessings or anointing, which can produce a glowing effect on the work. I call such effects the spirituality of success because it has more impact than anyone who has acquired the skill or studied the art in school, or from a form of training.
The question we need to ask is how can one attract opportunities? The first step in attracting opportunities is by being happy. Nobody likes to be associated with an angry mind. There’ a rule of thumb that says, when you smile at someone, they are bound to smile back even if they are into witchcraft. Nobody likes to give a job to an angry person.
The connectivity of happiness and success was aptly captured by Dr. Yomi Garnett. According to him, “Those who attain true success are those who derive joy and happiness as they invest their time and energy in worthwhile pursuits. This is hardly surprising, for true success is not merely a destination, but a journey. If a journey is truly worthwhile, should it not also be pleasurable”?
How true can this statement be? True joy comes when one’s passion, vocation and profession are in alignment. Imagine the joy and fun that one will get when getting paid for having fun. The feeling and experience are, indeed, priceless.
It’s unfortunate that many people don’t understand that there’s a spiritual effect in whatever one does. For example, someone who is called to be a lawyer will do an expectational job as a lawyer, he won’t struggle to read, comprehend or even attract favour from clients, judges and fellow attorneys. In fact, the universe will conspire to work for him because he will attract opportunities due to the happiness he invests in himself. Now contrast that with someone who studied law just because he likes the name or because his parents influenced him to become a lawyer. The same principle is applicable to other professions, vocations and skill related jobs.
In conclusion, if you want to attract opportunities and blessings into your life, consider being happy, don’t attach your happiness to anyone, rather focus on a noble cause which will bring joy and impact in the lives of people. When you do so, you will subconsciously attract blessings into your life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Food for Living: Take Responsibility

By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Apart from having the fear of God, one of the greatest desires any individual is a responsible life partner or spouse. In fact, a responsible partner transcends beyond ability to provide as there exists many, who can provide, are still irresponsible. Being responsible is priceless. Being responsible is a currency and goodwill which is not seen among cheap people.
While little girls in high schools are thrilled about the handsomeness of boys, and big ladies in colleges are attracted to the intelligence and financial capacity of guys, mature working ladies are more concerned about the security and loyalty of guys. This set of mature ladies are not concerned about the physical looks and financial capacity of guys. Though money and good looks are important, but they can’t be compared to loyalty and security. This is because a man may not have money, may not look great, and may not even be rich in intelligence, but when a lady sees him as responsible, with prospects, she might take him very seriously, and vice versa.
Asides character, irresponsibility is one thing that detaches a man from a lady. As a matter of fact, when a man senses a lady has been sexually exposed to a lot of men, withdrawal syndrome begins to set in, especially if he’s familiar with such men. Irresponsibility can be attributed to lack of good character or why will a responsible woman be messing around with several men.
One may wonder if this article is about the relationship between a man and a woman. The simple answer is no. The article is about life. I had to begin with human beings to x-ray the importance of living a responsible life. The truth is nobody likes to relate with an irresponsible person whether at work, church, family or events. An irresponsible person will have trust issues, fail in leadership, suffer from accountability issues, and will never be counted as reliable. If negative forces wish to deal with a person, they send an irresponsible people their way, and the individual’s life or work will be completely damaged.
As human beings, we are responsible for our life. It is what we sow that we reap. When we love, we are bound to reap love, when we sow hatred, it has a way of coming back to us. When we sow kindness, kindness will locate us in due time. When we sow hard work, it has a way of paying us back in the near future. When we help the less privileged, we accumulate the grace and mercy of God in the universe. When we invest in people, we tend to open doors, and like a magnet, attracts blessings, favours and opportunities our way.
The question we need to ask ourselves therefore, is what kind of life are we living? According to Socrates, “an unexamined life is not worth living”. Being able to take stock of one’s life is one of the best things that can happen to anyone. Just like a businessman takes inventory of his products, one must be intentional to live a life of purpose. Failure to do so is inviting Karma.
It’s instructive to note that taking responsibility involves a process. It is the foundation one lays that determines the kind of house they live in. For instance, if your tummy aches, what you ate yesterday is the likely the cause; if you are depressed, the culprit is the thought you meditated on the night before; if you are broke, it is usually because you mismanaged your money earlier; if you are overweight, it is because you over-ate in the past. Did you see that actions have consequences and it’s your responsibility to fix yourself with the right thoughts and actions.
The moral of the story is that your reality today is the consequence of your thoughts and actions of yesterday. And your future will reflect your thinking and deeds of today. It’s important to note that no demon is powerful enough to make you reap what you did not sow, neither is any demon more powerful than Karma. If you are in doubt, sow a seed today, and it will show tomorrow.
So, it is important for one to take responsibility for their lives. Nobody will fix you more than you can fix yourself; nobody can help you more than you can help yourself; nobody can save you more than you can save yourself; nobody can inspire you more than you can inspire yourself; and nobody can make you live a responsible life if you are not determined to be responsible.
It’s sad to see people who haven’t taken time to plan their lives, yet expect other people to fix them. Some people don’t invest in themselves by reading, researching, taking a class, course, learning a skill, traveling, investing in their businesses, relationship, network, volunteering in an association, and adding value to their lives. Sometimes, lazy minds lie idle waiting for the Lamb of God, who will take away their sins and burdens. These lazy minds fail to understand that everyone is dealing with a secret frustration.
In conclusion, decide today to take charge of your life, and see how life will unfold positively for you.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Food for Living: Unleashing the Keys of Life to Succeed

By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There is a key to unlocking everything in life in the guise of manuals and codes. Without the manual or code, a car, laptop, phone and other equipment won’t be activated or function properly. Without the right key, a door won’t open. Without the right foundation, success will be a far cry. An individual must therefore, know the right formula if they wish to succeed.
Success, like every other endeavours, including staying healthy and going to heaven, definitely has a key. In the same vein, everyone, in whatever guise, has a key to manifest every of his desire, and it behoves on one to do all legally and morally possible to discover it.
Life is truly a mystery. Nobody except the creator can unravel it. So to understand and unravel life, one must understand and get closer to the source or creator. This is just the simple truth of how life really works. Keys are like codes, formulas, and secrets. When you have the right code to any bank vault, you can break into it; when you have the formula to any mathematical problem, you won’t have a challenge solving the equation, but when you have the wrong formula, you will arrive at the wrong answer. The same principle is applicable to secrets; every human being has a secret, the ability to discern one’s secret will go a long way in assisting them to get their desires.
Let’s take a case of a man who wants to woo a lady. The first thing he does is figure out a close friend or family member who knows the lady in question, to decipher what she likes or wants in a man. This is because some ladies are attracted to men who are good with words while some are attracted to gifts, services, physical touch and time. If you would like to know more about these five love languages, I will strongly recommend you read Gary Chapman’s five love languages.
Keys are very symbolic in life; they are the foundation of life because without the foundation it will be difficult to resolve any concern. For instance, as a new employee in a company, to succeed, it will be important to understand the principles, values and the culture applicable in that company or organization. In any profession, whether law, medical, engineering, entertainment, political or religion, one needs to understand how it works, and the necessary structure needed to succeed. Even in the academic industry, one must know how to use the right words to convey the right message.
Keys are manuals, and when you have them, life will be smooth. Imagine operating a phone, car, television, laptop or other products without the manual; one is bound to encounter challenges, and the tendency of the product not functioning in optimum capacity is possible.
There is a story about how a man whose car broke down along the way, while he was trying to figure out how to fix the car, he encountered several difficulties, and the car refused to start. He tried all he could, but all to no avail. While he was trying to figure out what to do, an old man reached out to him to know if he needed help. He dismissed the old with the mindset he can’t do anything. After trying several times to fix the car, he couldn’t. He had to allow the old man to try. The man opened the burnet of the car and hit a knob and told the man to start the car, and the car began to work. The man was startled and asked the old man, what’s his name man. He said, Henry Ford, the inventor and owner of Ford Motors.
What’s the moral of this story? Henry Ford has the master key to fixing the car. He was able to fix the car because he’s the inventor. Henry Ford has the master key. If he wasn’t the inventor, it would have been difficult for him to fix the car. Note that another person can also fix the car if he has the codes and manuals laid down by the inventor.
Overtime, I have discovered that the ability to relate with human beings in a close way is one of the best way to understand them. Everybody has a key that works for them, one’s ability to decipher this key can be a gateway to success, and this comes with timing. So, as you move along in life, please always endeavor to have a basic understanding of the industry, company or social-political space because it will go a long way in determining the height you can attain.
In conclusion, keys are life’s oxygen, which if missing, leads to a time bomb effect, but when available leads to a floodgate of success.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com