By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Destiny Friends,

Defining oneself is one of the most difficult things to do. As human beings sometimes we find it difficult to express who we are, or what we represent. This is because several things battle for our time, alignment and intention.

As a human being, if you are asked who you are, what will be your response? Some will say I am a lawyer, doctor, entrepreneur, artist, author, teacher, professor, sociologist, leader, engineer and more. The list is endless. But the big question is who you really are. It’s important to note that what you are is God’s gift to you, and what you become is your gift to God.

It’s also worthy of note that as human beings, we do evolve. Growing up as a child, we all have different dreams and aspirations, when we enroll into high schools, and colleges, we have different interests where we align, or what we would like to be associated with. But our outlook and preference for life seems to change when we begin our career path or after a few years working in different fields of life.

If I may ask, what changed our mindset and desires? Well, it can be as a result of variable social, economic, religious or political factors which spur our interest due to policy change or personal interests.

We live in a society where people decide on what they want to do with their lives. While some are intentional, others just live free by taking the day as they come.

However, one thing is certain; something must define a man, and that is what the world will use to judge them. For instance, I have a legal background, but one can hardly know unless one searches me on google or looks through my social media platforms. If one is to judge on what I post on social media platforms or my works, one will confidently say, I am either a Life Coach or Human Capacity Development expert. This is simply because that’s what I post often and speak on. But more importantly, that’s what I want the world to remember me for, as a legacy.

When it comes to defining oneself, it’s imperative for one to be extremely careful because anything can define one either negatively or positively. For instance, if one is a leader, and he is accused of rape, sexual harassment or murder, which are heinous crimes; that, can define one’s leadership. Again, if one joins a particular group, association or organization, that person can be defined based on the doctrine of that group because it shows one’s interest in believing in their ideology.

Furthermore, if one is serious about moving on to the next stage of life, one must be able to define his or her career path by avoiding unnecessary distractions which might not align according to his path at the said point in time. And this can take several shapes. For instance, one can desire to take two to five years depending on their plans to build a profile, business, or academic background, and this will entail being focused.

It’s important to note that it’s either one stand for something, or he stand for nothing. Regardless of where one’s position aligns at any point in time, it’s always good to define his position. Those who find it difficult to define their position at any point in time runs the risk of losing focus

Defining what one wants is very critical in any endeavour. In fact, it is the foundation of any worthwhile project. If someone decides to start a family, they must be intentional on the partner to bring into their life, and this can be done by defining the kind of man or lady the person desires. Before one starts a business, he must define the vision, mission, and nature of the business. Before an employer hires an employee, he must define the kind of person he wants, and their roles. If one wants to work, the person must be strategic in choosing his job description to suit hiw he wants to be addressed. All these have a simple message; interest and desire.

There’s no doubt, defining one’s position can be difficult, especially when several interests are at play. It’s usually easy to characterize, tag or define someone based on a single act. Ordinarily, this shouldn’t be the case, because a single act is not generally capable of defining anyone. However, if it becomes a pattern, it can then be said that there’s a tendency of committing such acts as a way of life.

Just as many attributes, qualities or characteristics define a person, the combination of reputation, personality and characterization make him stand out. A person’s reputation is what people generally think about, his personality represents him while his character is true nature.

According to Yomi Garnett, a prolific ghost writer and author, “Your reputation is what everyone thinks you are. Your personality is what you seem to be and your character is what you really are”.

Take a moment to ask yourself, and answer these questions. Who am I? What will I want the world to remember me for? What do I represent? These questions are structured to make you think out of the box. Many uninformed minds are being tossed by the wind because they can’t stand for a particular position, and this a sad development. This set of people are usually swayed by material or societal influence. These acts are usually at play in political spaces where loyalty and alignment are usually at play.

Only strong minds can say no opportunities which don’t align to their beliefs, interests and passions to the causes they believe in.

In conclusion, as you forge ahead in life, take a deep breath to determine and define who you are, and work towards it because at the end of the day, if you don’t define yourself, the world will define you. Also remember that if you don’t talk about yourself, people will talk about you as it suits them; if you don’t write about yourself, people will write about you, and if you don’t speak up for yourself, it might be difficult for people to speak up for you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Destiny Friends,

One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to believe in themselves. Often, we don’t see the value and potential we have due to several factors including detractors’ utterances, disbelief in oneself or even past mistakes. Sometimes, we want other people to believe in us before we can believe in ourselves. Ordinarily, this shouldn’t be so.

If one is desirous of stepping up their game, one must understand how to use affirmations. Affirmations are powerful. And more powerful when they are positive. When you affirm to yourself, the universe has a way of affirming your thoughts, imaginations and words. However, it should be noted that affirmations are not about stating what you want, one must also work towards the affirmations, and believe the universe will align with you. One can practice affirmations by either writing it down or speaking it into existence.

Affirmations can be spiritual; they work like faith. If you don’t have faith, affirmations won’t work. You can attract opportunities, blessings, and favors from people when one affirms right. When people see your faith in action, they will generally feel the impulse to support your convictions.

Regardless of whatever situation one may be experiencing, it’s always good for one to feel good about oneself. It’s easy for one to feel discouraged, frustrated and depressed when the lines are not adding up, however, one can change the narrative by affirming to oneself, I expect my every need to be met; I expect the answer to every problem; I expect abundance; I will not lack; I will be great, I will attract blessings, favors, opportunities, etc. All these positive words are meant to trigger us to always think positive thoughts about our life regardless of our situations or what we are experiencing.

As human beings, sometimes, we don’t know the power we have. We tend to give other people power over us. In some cases, we want the world to give us opportunities or platforms to thrive, we fail to understand we are the platform we are seeking. For instance, sometimes we look for big companies, organization to showcase our work or give us opportunities to thrive, and when they fail, we become demoralized. However, if we can look into ourselves, we will realize in this age of technology we can showcase our work and when our supposed idols and organization see our work, they will rate us and give us potential opportunities.

It’s sad to see people begging for platforms to showcase their work. Sometimes they go extra to seek for roles and opportunities as interns or volunteers just to get an opportunity to have their name on their resume.  They don’t know they can use the internet to showcase what they have. It’s instructive to note that when you showcase what you have, the platforms you are looking for, will begin to look for you. And when you showcase what you have, speak into it and affirmatively believe it.

This is how affirmation works. When you showcase your work, say I believe my work will thrive, I will get recommendations, my work will attract attention, my business will not fail, my articles will go viral etc. Trust me, when you do this, the people and organizations you are looking for, will start to look for you. As a seasoned creative writer, each week I publish articles, before I send my article to my editor, I do say a word of prayer over my work and trust me, the grace to write and succeed has truly been felt from my tribe. I say this because I do get positive feedback almost on a weekly basis. creative.

Let me share  personal experience with you, I have been blogging for quite a while before big media platforms began to give me recognition and opportunity to publish my articles on their media platforms.  I believe some of them saw my little effort before they gave me an opportunity.

On a personal note, I have practiced affirmations, and it has worked for me. Let me share a practical example, when I was studying taxation law as a graduate student in New York Law School, I remember when a friend of mine asked me a question, Henry, if your exam is tomorrow, how do you feel you will perform? In all honesty and sincerity, I do know if my professor is kind to me, I will score a C or D, but I told her, I will score an A or B the least. You will be surprised to know, I scored an A- and B+ during that semester. That’s the power of positive affirmation. T

There’s another scenario where I shared on Facebook, I would like Mr. Peter Obi a former Governor in Nigeria who was aspiring to be the President of Nigeria. In three months, the universe connected me to him, and the most interesting thing about our meeting was that he gave me his number and advised me to keep in touch.

In conclusion, in your search for validation and opportunity, endeavor to practice affirmation and see it work like wonder in your life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Destiny Friends,

There’s always the urge to get certain things done as a living person. Most times, the urge transcends to impatience and desperation as the thirst for fame, power, wealth and success increases. This happens to the extent that the average human being either forgets or fails to take into consideration the process and most importantly, the foundation or origin of their inspiration.

It is worth noting that before anyone decides to go on a journey, several factors play a role; before anyone decides to study a course in college, he must have a sponsor assuming they don’t have the personal financial muscle; before anyone becomes a millionaire or billionaire, there’s always someone responsible for the opportunity; before one becomes a Chief Executive Officer of a company, he must have climbed through the ropes from internship either in the said company or another, and it’s also instructive to note that someone gave him the opportunity to showcase his charismatic work skills; before anyone decides to go into politics, different people play roles either in form of mentors or citizens. There’s always a significant source in the making of a the person. The list is endless.

Why is it necessary to highlight these significant points? The answer is quite simple; nobody achieves greatness on his or her own. Nobody is self made no matter what one may claim. Even God in his infinite knowledge used Virgin Mary to birth Jesus Christ. So, if the saviour of mankind can come in the form of man, why should anyone think he is self made?

It’s sad to see certain people think they have arrived either because they now have money, power, influence or attained a certain height. They begin to act like demi-gods, and sometimes, play God in the affairs of men. They fail to remember they were once nobody, and had nothing.

It’s always good for one to remember their source, and this is very important. Sometimes, when we see people doing great and big things in the world, we wonder what their secret or source is. While some people will be bold to acknowledge their source, others might be a little bit hesitant and decide to keep it as their best kept secret, especially when it involves trade and merchandise.

To know the secret of anyone, look at their lifestyle, some people attribute it to God, some to mentors, mentees, good food, exercise, academics, rest, parents or spiritual leaders. For me, I am unapologetic to state three things responsible for who I am today; the first is God. We live in a society where some people find it hard to acknowledge God publicly for reasons best known to them. I truly know I am not the smartest, strongest or most intelligent, but I can authoritatively tell you, I have seen and experienced the hand of God upon my life.

Another great source of mine is my late parents comprising my late grandmother, my late father and my late mother. They all played significant roles in my life with their prayers and blessings. I can say with all boldness, they are my biggest inspiration and reason I do what I do today. It’s sad to see young men and women who fail to recognize and appreciate their parents because they are either old, not academically exposed or for whatever reason best known to them. Well, I won’t judge anyone, but I do know that the earlier one receives the sense to appreciate their parents, no matter their shortcomings, the better the positive influence it would have in their lives.

Finally, my third major source of strength is the people I work with, especially my immediate team. Like I always say; I’m not just smart, I am only smart by association. I have a team of ingenious minds, who I am very loyal and committed to in any way I can. What attracts me to them is their mindset, attitude and most importantly their talent/gift. If I may add a fourth category, I will say my mentors, there are certain people I look up to based on their position, accomplishment, personality. I call this set of mentors my pinnacle mentors because of who they are, or what they represent. If you would like to know the role of mentors in my life, please read one of my most insightful articles Mentors Are Life Savers.

Let’s get this clear, anyone can be a source. It might not really be a man of substance. Your mentee, child, partner or employee can be your source. What’s important is for one to recognize their role. Like I stated earlier, my team who I work with are my third greatest source, and I strongly believe God is using them to lift me up.

One may be wondering why I took my time to address these salient points. The reason is not farfetched. It’s regrettable to see people who have attained certain heights, and they seem to forget their roots. Some even forget their source. Like accomplished journalist, Dr. Dele Momodu, would always quote his  late ‘unlettered mother’, who admonished him to “never forget the son of who you are”. That’s a very deep statement.

Acknowledging one’s source is very critical to one’s growth. It speaks volumes about one’s mindset and personality. Let’s take a case study where someone assisted you to become great, and ends up insulting or using sarcastic words on you. They may even be uncharitable to you. I get all these narratives, still acknowledge them.

Acknowledging one’s source can be ambiguous. As Christians, sometimes we pray to our creator, give up our daily bread. By doing so, we are remembering our source, but quite often sometimes when we eat this bread and become well fed, we tend to forget from whom it came, and in some cases, fail to give credit to whom it is due. This is the attitude of ungrateful minds.

I will conclude with a prayer thus; in our quest for greatness and search the material things of the world, may we not forget our source, who gave us opportunities when we were nothing. Can I hear you say amen!

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com