By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

It’s an indisputable fact that life is governed by many principles, of which their successful understanding and application can set one apart from their contemporaries.

Various principles work for various people depending on organization, business, profession and even personal. Therefore, for one to get something from another, they must know the principles they have adopted.

Principles work like magic. According to Bishop David Oyedepo, “When you read, tap from the principles used in the book you have read. To fly on eagles wing, you must tap on the principles on the eagle. You will have to get on his back and spread out the way he spreads his wings, so as to fly the way he flies. That is why you need to follow the principles of the writer of any book you have read so as to get the results the writer has gotten.”

The significance of this post is that whenever you read a book, work in a company or government, there are certain laid down rules, procedures, or principles which guides the establishment, and one is expected to follow them to the later. Failure to do so will warrant sanctions.

Let me share a practical example with you; a couple of months ago, I attended an event and met a highly successful man who can be called a billionaire. While a lot of people were trying to get his attention, I was seeking for a unique way to approach him, I quickly surfed the internet and discovered he’s an author. With that information, I approached him and introduced myself to him. I began by telling him I was inspired by his work, especially his books. He began to show interest in my conversation. I also told him I am an author with a legal background. He was happy to hear that because he’s also a lawyer, in addition to being an author and entrepreneur. I told him, I would like to have a meeting with him for a minute. He gave me his number and said, let’s keep in touch. What he told me was everything I needed to penetrate.

I followed up with an email and read his book. What’s the moral of this story, I learnt what works for him by speaking his language, especially reading his book to know how the principles that work for me.  I followed up with him via email on summary of the principles in his book and his interviews and his response was positive. I didn’t stop here. I nominated him to receive the Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award and reached out to him to know if he will be available to receive the award. Again, he responded positively. Guess what, when we met at the event, he told me a White House staff reached out to him saying Trump administration is looking for Black person to work in his administration and as such if he knows of any Black person that would like to work in the White House for President Trump.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting, I didn’t show desperation to work in the White House because I didn’t know details of the positions they are looking to fill, and also the location of the jobs. In a week time, this man invited me to the Bahamas for a family end of the year gathering where only close friends and associates will be present. That to me was huge. Even though I couldn’t attend because I already had plans to be out of the country as the said time, I was glad an opportunity of recognition was accorded to me by a billionaire.

One may be wondering what’s the significance of this story. Well, the moral is that one will have to take the extra effort to know what works for any person in order to work with the person or receive any favor. If I have not taken the opportunity to do some research about this man to discover the guiding principles and ideologies that work for him, trust me I doubt if he would have accorded me that level of respect and recognition, in addition to taking me very seriously.

This principle is applicable to everyone. Whether you are married, in a relationship, in business, seeking financial support for a business, writing a proposal, or working with anyone, your ability to apply this principle will usher you into a new reign. Even if you want to get something from a little child, one must condescend to their level to work with them.

It’s instructive to note that there’s no problem without a solution. The only problem without a solution is the problem the person with the right solution hasn’t appeared. Isn’t it true that when the student is ready the master appears.

As a human capacity development expert, I have discovered that everyone is literally different because as dynamic human beings, we are all unique. This is because what works for Mr. A might not work for Mr. B, and so, your ability to know what works for each individual will go a long way to achieving your desires.

Jus to put this into perspective, every living being has a temperament which can be sanguine, melancholy, choleric and phlegmatic. Again, while some people are introvert, some are extrovert. As a rational being, your ability to use discernment to decipher what works for each individual will go a long way to enable you work with them.

In conclusion, if you would like to get anything done, endeavour to do some background research to know the guiding principles of that person or organization. You can do a S.W.A.T analysis to discover their strengths, weakness, action and time. This will enable you to know how to approach them. You can also do online research on social media to know if they have any book to their name, any speech, any song, or any article they have written just to get an idea of how their mindset works. It might not generally give you a full picture of who they are because they might be engaging in a professional capacity, but at least it will give you an insight into their objective being.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

I will not grieve for what does not come, because what does not come may prevent disaster from coming – Dr. Yomi Garnett

Compliments of the season. It’s that time of the year when everyone takes stock of their life in terms of personal, professional, financial and other areas of interest.

I strongly believe, an unexamined life is not worth living. As progressive minds, it’s important to examine how one has fared. This will help in preparing for the next chapter of living, especially as it relates to improving on mistakes and strategically working to accomplish great tasks.

Today, I chose to write on a personal topic of interest. This topic is so personal to me that I believe someone will learn from it. And for those wondering what the wisdom of acceptance is, it is implies that, ‘I will not grieve for what does not come, because what does not come may prevent disaster from coming’. Yes, this is so true because sometimes during the course of life, we may have made mistakes, experienced setbacks and encountered disappointments. It is normal for one to feel bad about the outcome, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s working for a destined plan or purpose which one may not see in the immediate sense.

I decided to write about the doctrine of acceptance because of an incident that happened to me a week ago. Please adjust your seat to read this touching story.

I was recently nominated to receive the United States Presidential Achievement Award by an organization affiliated to the White House which has authority to give qualified candidates who have seemingly achieved a considerable amount of pro bono work in a particular industry.

The eligibility requirement for this award is rigorous. I will share a few examples, one must have done more than four thousand hours of pro bono work in a particular industry, a candidate for this award must not be a sex offender in the US sex registry, the candidate must have a registered US company amongst others.

When I got the nomination, I was really humbled and honored to say the least. I was excited to know my work has received some attention in the right quarters. In all honesty, I didn’t know how big it was until a dear friend spoke some sense into me. In anticipation of the event, I prepared my business profile, executive profile, and submitted a professional headshot.

We were advised to come in a day earlier to settle down because the grand finale will end with a dinner because some people will receive honorary doctorate degree award, and some will receive Honorary Citizen Award from the State of Georgia. So, as you can see, it was a packed two days event where several people from across the country will converge for a life-changing event. Needless to talk about how important the networking session will look like.

On the day I was supposed to travel, I was two minutes late at the airport and as such, I missed my flight. I quickly booked the next available flight for the same day. I was glad to make it even though it was quite late.

The event began during the day with a ceremony for the honorary doctorate degrees. I was humbled to give a presentation to the deserving students.

I charged the students to impact the world with their degrees by making success in their life. I stated, it is not enough for them to have a degree, what’s important is what you do with it. I informed them they have all the tools, resources and knowledge to make an impact. I concluded by telling them it is not enough for them to have a degree, they must do something new, and something different. And if they are unable to develop themselves and humanity by making an impact with the degrees the Honorary degree is as good as useless.

After the event, I was so tired that I decided to take a short nap in preparation of the main dinner where the Presidential Award will be presented. Guess what, by the time I woke up from my short nap, the event was over. I almost had a heart attack when I looked at my watch. I was like, how did this happen? I saw many missed calls on my phone. The sad part was that the organizers informed me that most of the guests were looking for me. They were impressed with what they have read and watched about me.

While I was reflecting on what happened to me, I called one of my most revered mentors. I call him the mentor of all mentors; Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished and sophisticated ghost writer. I vividly narrated what had just happened. He sympathized with me, took a deep breath and said, “Henry, I will share with you a profound lesson of history you won’t forget in a haste”. He started by telling me, I shouldn’t grieve too much because everything that happens in our life happens for a reason whether we like it or not. He said, what happened to me is a mystery and only God knows.

According to him, if God wanted to wake me up, I would have woken up. He asked me a question; do you control what happens when you sleep? I said no.  He stated, in every situation let’s give God the glory because one may not know what may have happened if our desires or plans came through. He advised me to accept my fate as God’s master plan. As a matter of fact, he told me to laugh about it and start praising God for what has happened and from the disaster that would have befallen me.  It was at this moment he informed me about the wisdom of acceptance which is also known as doctrine of acceptance.

While I tried to explain to him, it’s all my fault because I slept off due to being tired during the ceremony. He responded that God made me tired so I can get a decent sleep. He stated who knows what would have happened on my way to the event or after the event. Who knows who I would have met that would have loved to do business with me in the near future and that journey would have either ended my life or hurt me in a terrible way.

He went on to explain a personal story he witnessed in 2013 where his driver was supposed to drive his friend for a 250 million contract in Abuja, Nigeria, but for some funny reasons his driver got drunk and slept off and by the time he woke up, he was quite late.

By the time they got to the airport, the plane was already departing. He felt bad, but managed to control his temper because he couldn’t change the situation and so he had to find a way to manage his attitude. He concluded the story by stating, may “God not allow us to see disaster”.

Guess what, his friend called him 30 minutes later to tell him the plane he missed had just crashed with nobody alive. He thanked my mentor and his driver for the delay which saved his life. It was at this moment my mentor stated, “don’t grieve for what didn’t happen, because what didn’t happen prevented disaster from happening”.

Furthermore, I tried to tell my mentor the people who were expecting to meet with me. He took a deep breath and said, Man is nothing before God. He said, I don’t need anybody to be successful, except God. He stated, reverencing God is bigger than shaking hands with billionaires. He said, what will be will be. According to him, nothing is of any real importance, it’s only our thinking that makes it so.

He reminded me about the story of Job in the Bible and how he lost everything, and how God blessed him in hundreds of folds at the appropriate time. He acknowledged the role of human beings as vessels for God’s blessing, and added that if God wants to bless me, he will bless me with or without human beings. His main point was that, I should desist from thinking more of man as the cornerstone to my blessings, instead to focus on God, and he will in turn use men without them knowing, to bless me.

My mentor said, ‘Henry, let me shock you, do you know there is a call you’ll receive now, and you will immediately forget what has happened? I said yes, he concluded by saying, may God not allow us to see disaster advised me again to laugh about what happened, and start thanking God.

After listening to him for 30 minutes, I became stronger, and started praising and worshiping God.

What’s the moral of this doctrine, sometimes in life, we experience setbacks, failures, disappointments and misfortunes. While we may feel bad about it, blame ourselves or attribute it to other causes, it may be a blessing in disguise which we may not know in the immediate sense.

In conclusion, I charge you to have an open outlook to life, and do all in your capacity to achieve your objectives, but don’t be hard on yourself if the inadvertent happens whether directly or indirectly due to life vicissitudes.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

As human beings, life offers us several blessings. The blessings can be spiritual, physical, financial, academic, marital, vocational, professional, and even personal which can be attributed to grace.

Just like one man’s food is another man’s poison, blessings mean several things to different people. Some of us desire the blessings of parents which I humbly think is the highest form of blessings apart from the blessings of God. While someone might be praying and wishing for the blessing of a life partner, some other persons are praying for the blessings of the fruit of the womb, destiny helpers or even dream job.

When we talk of giving, it’s not limited to financial blessings. It’s only myopic minds who judge or see people who give money as good people. We should desist from the mindset of seeing people who give money as good people. Some great minds might give you their time to mentor you, train you, or give you opportunities that will shape your life.

Giving shows where our heart and love resides. Different things appeal to different people. Your goal is to know what works for the person. Your ability to pay attention is critical to knowing someone. For instance, when you listen to how people spend their time and money, you will know how their mind works.  The truth about life is that one can love without giving. If anyone is not giving you, he is giving to someone or to another cause.

Do you know what makes one happy? Yes, it can help to battle depression. Some people derive satisfaction when they give. Do you know that giving can be contagious? Yes, this principle is applicable when one pays it forward.When people experience a generous kindness, they are more apt to treat others with the same sort of benevolence.

When it comes to giving, what’s important is the motive or intention. There are several reasons why most people give money, some give money for charitable purpose, some give because the law of God admonishes us to give, some give just to encourage employees or to inspire people, some give because they have the feeling or mindset the person they give might give them tomorrow or the children of the receiver will reciprocate in the nearest future, or because they want to sow presence so that their benefactor can notice them. Some people even give because it gives them joy, and this is where I belong. As a matter of fact, one of my weak points is that I can be too kind to a fault. The list is literally endless.

Giving is relative. Some people might give their money, some give their time which can be priceless, some might give loyalty, others might give expertise on a subject matter. What is important is to know the value of the blessings you are receiving because in the grand scheme of things, none is more important than the other, it all depends on the needs at the said time. For instance, if someone is hungry, the best gift you can give the person is food or money to buy food. The person might not necessarily need words of consolation, neither does he need academic tutor nor spiritual teachings.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnet, a celebrated author, “one thing is certain in life, there are hidden blessings that come when one gives genuinely. It’s sad to note that we live in a world where some people find it hard to give.

In practical terms, prosperity is probably in two forms: There is survival prosperity, and there is Abrahamovic abundance. The way to proceed from the first to the second simply to become a channel of blessings for others. We do this by doing three things.: Giving to the kingdom of God, giving to the poor within His Kingdom; giving to the poor outside his kingdom.

The blessing of giving is priceless. Do you know the givers hand is always on top. I have always counseled my friends who complain when they give to put themselves in the position of the person receiving. Be happy you are in the position to give as opposed to receive. I don’t really think people love to beg even though some people have little or no shame when it comes to begging.

When it comes to giving and receiving, what’s important is to focus on the needs or desires of the giver in order to receive. For instance, if you want to receive funds from a fortune 500 company, when you are working on your proposal, it must align to their needs or interest. Several things motivate several people, so your ability to know what works for each person might be the icing on a cake.

It’s just like an employee who is looking to work in a multinational national company or any great company of interest, what the hiring managers might be concerned is to know how the employee is a perfect for the position, and this might entail looking at the skills, qualifications or interest which the intending employee will show he has given time, money and resources to show he’s capable, competent in addition to be being consistent on how his works. While the potential employee will have to show reasons why he should be hired, and all these will point to one thing, giving.

In conclusion, if you desire anything in life, consider giving it your time, whether it involves setting up a business, beginning a relationship, studying a course, serving God, or building your body; consider giving it your time and resources, and trust me, the blessings will come back to you. That’s the blessings of giving.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com