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The Power of Commitment

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...Charge for the New Year
 “I Tell You, before you lose again!”
By Tolulope A. Adegoke
“Every man called great by attaining heights of greatness and having achieved strange order of blessings didn’t just emerge there on platter of gold, but emerged with a Cost! In truth, the honest cost of every greatness is SACRIFICE, but sacrifice is incomplete without unwavering [levels of] COMMITMENT ” !
~ Tolulope A. Adegoke
Any relationship or dealings that has no real reciprocity will die…
Strong people will keep giving to you for a long time and eventually if they do not see it coming back in similar capacity, they will eventually become convinced that the investment does not worth a return…
If you do not learn to give, like you learned to get in every area that there is no reciprocity, it will die!
Anything that takes more than it gives will eventually destroy the giver…it is not only biblical but scientific and ecological!
Even God commanded the farmer to let the ground rest for a while for it to be revitalized with nutrients! Plants emits oxygen for man to live, while man exhales carbon dioxide for plants to live…it is a give and take  world! It is a real world of COMMITMENT!
I will not take anything from you unless I add something to you! I will be an asset and not a liability! If I stay in your house, you will miss me when I leave! I am going to add something to you before taking anything from you! If I join your church or organization, you will feel My impacts that something has been added to you!
When you get me, you get help!
The only number that doesn’t add to the sum total of the equation is a zero!
What do people get when they get you?! If you can describe it, define it and deliver on it, you will never be without them!
Everybody wants assets, while liabilities get left behind!
You must be  Committed to God, Family, Church and to your DREAMS!
You cannot get people to believe in your dream until you believe in it yourself!
Stop asking people to invest in things when you have no investment!
Stop asking people to deliver to you when you are unwilling to go into the wild for yourself!
Nobody is going to put into your dream before you put into it…you have to invest in what you dream for!
A pen is (just) mere pen, until you put it in the hands of the likes of committed writers like of Dr. Yomi Garnett, Chief Dele Momodu or Hank Moore among others, then that make the value(s) of the pen to shoot up into the skies beyond boundaries. It is the same pen as the former, but COMMITMENT is its leverage!
The same thing goes to our individual dreams…A golf club is just nothing but mere club, until you put it in the hands of the likes of Tiger Woods and other renowned golf players, then the value shoots up! It’s the same set of club, but all you had was commitment…
When a dream gets into the hands of a committed person [to the dream], who has been working when they were five and swinging it when they were six, nine and when they turned twelve…O yes! You will get a great return on it because somebody has invested on it!- that’s exactly the Tiger Woods’ story.
Do you have anything that you are dreaming or desiring, such that you are willing to be committed enough to see it happen or manifest?! Or you go on the wishing well of life, (wanting to receive on credits something that you are not willing to pay for?)
To become independent and to avoid embarrassment, You as an individual or corporate entity must be committed to your dreams or goals!
I have never met anybody who became incredibly successful in any area of their life until they have suffered, sweated and sacrificed, kept their focus and fought through tears, trials and tests…so, if you have a dream, be committed to it; then it will come to pass…though, the vision tarries, but wait for it! It will happen! It may take longer, you may have to take classes and read late nights, you may have to start the business in your house, but it will surely happen!
My God is not just ALPHA, but He is also the OMEGA! He is not only the BEGINNING, but He is also the END! God started it, He will finish it! YES He will! But be committed to your dream!
Anybody can dream it, but you can never see it happen until you are willing to be committed to it!
Even Bishop T.D Jakes started his ministry (The Potter’s House) in his house. Sometimes, he worshipped alone, then gradually things began to change as he stayed committed to his dreams…
God only concentrate on COMMITTED people! He is not a joker!
Tolulope A. Adegoke, further dissected commitment to give it a simpler meaning:
Be(Come)-(it)ted
Be come it!( be it, fulfil your dreams and aspirations)!
Not until you become your dream(s), you may never fulfil it!
(…The End…)
Watch out for the Book titled: “The Power of an Empowered Zero” (From Zero to HERO!) by Tolulope A. Adegoke. Foreword by Dr Yomi Garnett(CEO/Chancellor, Royal Biographical Institute, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania U.S.A., U.K., Abuja, Nigeria.) Edited by Ola Aboderin.
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Food for Living: The Wealthy Mindset

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Wealth is of the mind, and not necessarily the amount of money in one’s pocket or in the bank. It takes a great mind to know that if the only thing one has is money, that person is poor because at a stage in life, money may not play any role. It is worth noting that for one to pay for everything they need in life, it’s either they are poor, or you haven’t invested in anyone.

It’s always good therefore, to live for humanity. Life is not about ‘me’, but about humanity. When you consider other people, life works out for you. This is a timeless principle I have adopted overtime, especially when I see a progressive mind who is hungry to learn.

One of the reasons most people are poor is simply because they have the wrong mindset, ideology and information. It’s instructive to know that when you learn well, you stand a better chance of earning well because the more you know, the more you get paid. Nobody pays anyone what they desire, but what they deserve.

Let me explain a little; a poor mind will think a rich man is wasting money by paying triple for a three-bedroom apartment in a porsche neighborhood while a rich mind will think he’s paying for security, and peace of mind.

Again, a poor mind will think a rich man is being extravagant when he buys a luxury perfume or watch when he can buy a decent perfume which ordinarily will perform the same service, but a wealthy mind knows that in the real world, life is governed by perception. According to Dr. Joe Abah, “as a man, there are three things you shouldn’t compromise: solid watch, good shoes and nice perfume”. He further went on to state you can be as casual as you like but once those three things are present, you don’t need to tell anyone you are decently comfortable.

Do you see that life is not about how much you have, but how you manage what you have, but more importantly, how you people perceive you. Some people might have money, but they will find it difficult to invest in their outlook by buying decent clothes, perfumes, shoes and watches.

Another great source of wealth is information. Like I always say, information is power. If you are not informed, you are ill-informed, and once you are ill-informed, you can’t perform because information leads to reformation and transformation. So, it’s fair to say information leads to formation. You are a product of what you know.

It’s sad that many people don’t take time to invest in themselves by buying books of interest, paying for certification courses to enhance their knowledge, or even volunteering their time to intern to learn how great or successful people think.

When rich minds invest their minds to seek knowledge to gain information and knowledge which will set them apart from their contemporaries, they tend to gain access to opportunities in which they can earn decent money,  entitled minds will begin to beg for money. That’s poverty mindset.

It should be noted, nobody owes you anything, most people worked hard to get to where they are today. They didn’t succeed because they looked nice, or luck favored them. Yes, those might be contributory factors, but the sacrosanct truth remains that, in civilized climes, they did the work, after all, luck is opportunity meeting preparation. If they were not prepared, the opportunity would have slipped by, and they would not have succeeded.

When we talk of wealth, it doesn’t only relate to money, wealth can also relate to how one thinks, speaks, acts, and prays. All these play critical roles in defining a human being. According to the Bible in Proverbs 17: 28, “Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent, and discerning when he holds his tongue”. So if you are unsure about something, it is better to keep quiet because when you open your mouth, you tell the world who you are. So, when you meet a great mind, be careful how you engage them. That’s why it’s generally stated that it takes a minute for a great man to know if he likes someone who is seeking an opportunity. These great minds have six sense perception. They have the discerning minds to see through your mind.

There was a story I recently read from Dr. Femi Otedola’s book, “Making it Big”. The story is that of a young man who was trying to strike a deal with the business mogul. He came in an inferior car and was looking for a multi-million naira contract, Dr. Femi Otedola, being a shrewd businessman, evaluated the man and priced the him low, forcing him to grudgingly accept.

When the contact was sealed and the young man was about to leave, Dr. Femi called him back and asked him, do you know I priced you low? The man said no. Dr. Otedola said, it doesn’t make business sense to come with a cheap car to seek a multi-million business contract. What that really means is that you ought to dress the way you want to appear. Mr. Otedola, went on to inform him that in life, especially in business, perception rules.

Did you see it would have been better for the man to come in a decent car even though it doesn’t belong to him because he wouldn’t have been prized low. As a matter of fact, his value would have been elevated. The car opened a lot of canker worms about his mindset. Did you see that this statement corroborates with what the Bible stated in Proverbs 17:28.

The power of the mind can’t be overemphasized. Mindset cuts across every corner of our life. My late dad used to own a hospital with his brother, the motto of the hospital was “we care, but God cures”. That to me was very inspiring to know that doctors and nurses were limited in their thought process.

Furthermore, I once visited a general hospital in my hometown in Nigeria, each time I visited the hospital to see a patient, I discovered there’s always a gospel song in the background with a melodic soothing message to comfort everyone. In all honesty, even if one has given up hope of recovering, the song is capable of restoring hope. Again, that’s the power of the mind.

The moral here is that the mind controls everything. Napoleon Hill stated in his famous book, “Think and Grow Rich”, that “whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe, it can achieve it’.

In conclusion, if you want to be wealthy, please consider working on your mindset because that’s where everything, including success and failure start and end.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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The Architectonics of Influence: Leadership, Power, and Deliberate Pursuit of Possibilities

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By Tolulope A. Adegoke, PhD

“Leadership envisions the future, Power builds it, but only Control ensures it endures. In their deliberate synergy lies the architecture of all human progress,” – Tolulope A. Adegoke, PhD

Introduction: The Tripartite Foundation of Progress

At the heart of every significant human achievement—from the ascent of a thriving corporation to the resilience of a prosperous nation and the self-actualization of an individual—lies the potent interplay of three fundamental forces: Leadership, Power, and Control.

These concepts are often conflated or misunderstood. Yet, their distinct roles and synergistic relationship form the very bedrock upon which possibilities are envisioned and delivered. Leadership provides the vision and the compass; power furnishes the engine and the tools; and control ensures the steering and the governance. Together, they create an “architectonics of influence,” a deliberate framework for building a better future across all sectors of human endeavor.

Deconstructing the Core Concepts

  1. Leadership: The Compass of Purpose

Leadership is not merely a position; it is a process of social influence that maximizes the efforts of others toward achieving a goal. It is the domain of vision, inspiration, and emotional intelligence.

  • For Peoples: Leadership manifests as mentorship, parenting, and community organizing. It empowers individuals to transcend their limitations, fostering personal growth, resilience, and a sense of agency.
  • For Corporates: Leadership sets the strategic direction, cultivates culture, and inspires innovation. It is the force that aligns diverse talents toward a common mission, navigating market volatility and competitive pressures.
  • For Nations: Leadership, at its best, articulates a national destiny, unites citizens around shared values, and steers the country through crises and opportunities on the global stage.
  1. Power: The Currency of Action

Power is the capacity to influence the behavior of others or the course of events. It is raw potential energy that, in itself, is neutral—its morality defined by its application. French and Raven’s classic bases of power provide a useful lens:

  • Coercive & Reward Power: (Sticks and Carrots) Effective in the short term but often unsustainable, as they rely on external compliance rather than internal commitment.
  • Legitimate Power: Derived from a formal position or title (e.g., CEO, Prime Minister).
  • Expert Power: Granted based on knowledge, skills, and competence.
  • Referent Power: The most potent form, earned through charisma, respect, and admirable qualities.

 

  1. Control: The Rudder of Stewardship

Control represents the systems, processes, and ethical frameworks that guide the application of power. It is the essential counterbalance that prevents power from becoming corrupt, arbitrary, or inefficient. Control is not about restriction, but about direction and stewardship.

  • Mechanisms of Control: These include transparency, accountability, checks and balances, legal and regulatory frameworks, ethical codes of conduct, and performance metrics.

The Synergistic Equation: Leadership + Power + Control = Delivered Possibilities

The true impact occurs when these three elements are harmonized. Leadership without power is impotent; power without leadership is directionless; and both without control are dangerous.

The Formula for Impact: A visionary leader (Leadership) must wield appropriate forms of power (e.g., Expert and Referent) to mobilize resources and people. This application of power must then be channeled through robust control mechanisms to ensure it is effective, ethical, and aligned with the overarching goal. This synergy unlocks possibilities.

The Perils of Imbalance:

  • Leadership without Power: The inspiring visionary with no authority or resources becomes a frustrated prophet, their ideas never materializing.
  • Power without Leadership: The powerful but visionless authority figure (a tyrannical manager, a despotic ruler) creates chaos, stifles innovation, and leads to oppression or organizational decay.
  • Power without Control: This is the definition of tyranny and corruption. It leads to the abuse of resources, the suppression of dissent, and ultimately, systemic failure (e.g., corporate scandals, state collapse).

Delivery Across Sectors: Peoples, Corporates, and Nations

  1. For Peoples: The Realm of Personal and Community Agency
  • Leadership: Self-leadership—taking responsibility for one’s own growth and actions. Community leaders articulate a shared vision for neighborhood improvement.
  • Power: The power of knowledge (Expert), the power of a strong network (Referent), and the collective power of organized action.
  • Control: Personal discipline, ethical codes, and community-agreed rules of engagement.
  • Delivered Possibilities: Empowered individuals achieve self-actualization. Cohesive communities solve local problems, foster social capital, and create environments where people can thrive.
  1. For Corporates: The Engine of Innovation and Value Creation
  • Leadership: The CEO and C-suite set a compelling vision and culture. Middle managers translate strategy into action and empower their teams.
  • Power: Legitimate power of hierarchy, expert power of specialized teams, and the referent power of a strong brand and respected leadership.
  • Control: Corporate governance, board oversight, compliance departments, performance management systems, and a strong ethical culture.
  • Delivered Possibilities: Sustainable profitability, market innovation, employee engagement and well-being, and long-term value for all stakeholders.
  1. For Nations: The Framework for Collective Prosperity and Stability
  • Leadership: Elected officials, civil servants, and a judiciary that provide direction, uphold the law, and steward national resources.
  • Power: The sovereign power of the state, derived from the consent of the governed (Legitimate), and exercised through institutions (military, judiciary, executive).
  • Control: The Constitution, separation of powers, an independent judiciary, a free press, transparent elections, and anti-corruption watchdogs.
  • Delivered Possibilities: Economic development, social justice, national security, public health, and the preservation of fundamental rights and freedoms—the foundation for a flourishing society.

The Indispensable Role of Control: From Stewardship to Possibilities

Control is the often-overlooked hero in this narrative. It is the difference between a dictator and a statesman, between a reckless conglomerate and a sustainable enterprise.

  • Control Fosters Trust: Transparent and accountable systems build trust among citizens, employees, and investors, which is the currency of long-term collaboration.
  • Control Enables Scalability: Without control mechanisms, organizations and nations cannot grow beyond a certain size without descending into inefficiency or chaos.
  • Control Mitigates Risk: It provides the early warning systems and corrective actions that prevent catastrophic failures.
  • Control Ensures Legitimacy: Power is seen as legitimate and worthy of support when it is exercised within a known and fair framework.

Conclusion: The Call for Conscious Stewardship

In a world of increasing complexity and interconnectedness, the deliberate and ethical management of leadership, power, and control is not a theoretical exercise—it is a practical imperative.

The ultimate delivery of possibilities—be it a child reaching their potential, a corporation pioneering a world-changing technology, or a nation achieving lasting peace and prosperity—rests on our collective ability to:

  1. Cultivate Leaders who are not only visionary but also humble, ethical, and empowered by referent and expert power.
  2. Wield Power consciously, recognizing its sources and its profound responsibility.
  3. Design and Uphold Control systems that are robust yet adaptable, ensuring that power is always a force for creation, not destruction.

The future does not simply happen; it is built. It is architected by those who understand that true, lasting power is the capacity to unlock human potential, and that the highest form of leadership is the stewardship of possibilities for all.

Dr. Tolulope A. Adegoke, AMBP-UN is a Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) in History and International Studies, Fellow Certified Management Consultant & Specialist, Fellow Certified Human Resource Management Professional, a Recipient of the Nigerian RoleModels Award (2024), and a Distinguished Ambassador For World Peace (AMBP-UN). He has also gained inclusion in the prestigious compendium, “Nigeria @65: Leaders of Distinction”.

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Food for Living: How to Receive

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

To some people, giving is a lifestyle while to some others, it is a burden. However, it should be noted that it is not only the person that has enough that gives, rather the person with a heart of giving.

Overtime, I have discovered that giving means different things to different people. While some people genuinely give to show concern, some people give to show appreciation and gratitude for favors received. A lot more others give for economic reasons like in the United States of America, where charitable giving can be considered for tax deduction. So, some people give to write off debts for taxable purposes. Maybe, they wouldn’t give if the tax code didn’t make that provision. Who knows? Some people even give because it is spiritually advised so that they can receive from the creator (God).

If you are asked why you give or what’s the reason behind your giving, what will be your answer? Personally, I love to give because giving makes me happy. This is how I see giving. Whenever I see anyone who is going through a lot, I feel much better when I assist them in alleviating or solving their problem. One of my favorite lines in the Bible is Matthew 11:28 which says, “Come to me all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”. What the passage means is that God is our greatest succor whenever we are stressed. He advises us to bring our burden to him, and he will make us feel good.

Unfortunately however, we live in a society that loves to receive as opposed to giving. Many people derive joy in seeking assistance whether it relates to money, resources, or knowledge, but very few people selflessly bring their time to give and share their time and resources. One of my mentors once said, the givers hand is always on top while the receiver’s hand is always below. So, the question one needs to ask himself is, where do you want to belong?

One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to have a heart that gives. I recently read a book titled “Making it Big” by Dr. Femi Otedola, a global philanthropist. In his book, he stated that he got to a stage in life where he had to ask himself what makes him happy? He reflected deeply on that question and pondered on it for a while only for him to discover that giving is one of the greatest things that makes him happy. He went further to list all his philanthropic works which have endeared him to the hearts of people.

Dr. Femi Otedola, despite being a shrewd businessman has a large heart when it comes to giving. I have personally discovered that when one gives genuinely without any sentiments or emotions, it has a way of coming back to them in a hundred fold.

When one gives with love, God, in His infinite mercy might not give you back money, he might decide to give you good health, good children, good employees, mentors, opportunities etc. But ignorant minds won’t understand that these are what truly matter.

Uninformed minds would like to receive financial rewards, but they fail to understand that if you are given money, one might use that same money to treat oneself in the hospital or buy luxurious vehicles that might crash leading to their death. They can even use the money to build houses, factories, companies, etc. which can be consumed by fire. Do you see how God blesses one?

Having written about the importance of receiving, the big question we now must ask ourselves is how do we receive? To receive or attract favour, one must either give, solve problems or add value. These three principles are the factors responsible for changing the fortunes of any progressive mind.

Let’s take them one after another:

Giving

I call the act of giving, a womb opener. When you give, the style, manner and mindset of giving can be the game changer of your life. I can’t explain how giving has opened doors for me. Giving is one of the secrets that endeared me to a lot of resourceful minds. When I talk of giving in this context, I’m referring to both financially and resourceful. I give to my mentors, friends, mentees, family, relatives, strangers, God etc., and trust me the rewards have been fulfilling.

Over time, I have had conversations with people who feel giving to mentors is a waste of money because they are already rich and wealthy. I have a different mindset to that thought pattern. Your mentors or benefactors are always on the givers side, and it’s okay for one to think they don’t have any problem, but the truth is that they might have more problems than me and you, but they tend to manage or keep it close to their heart.  Trust me, great men have deeper needs, so when someone gives them money or gift, it hits them differently. But more importantly, it separates you from the rank and file of people who might be classified as beggars.

It is generally stated that givers never lack, but I stand to disagree slightly, givers do lack when they don’t give with wisdom. Some people just give indiscriminately when they hear pitiable stories. While all these things are capable of making someone give, one has to be mindful of being moved with emotions and sentiments because when problems come, it won’t come with emotions and sentiments. As a matter of fact, when people see you can be swayed by emotion they can manipulate and play with your brain just to squeeze some money from you. Here is what I will advise, have a charitable benchmark for giving. I say this because when you don’t plan for your money, other folks will plan it for you.

Solve Problems

This right here is one of the best ways if not the best way to receive money. Nobody just gives their hard-earned money for fun because they like just like you without attaching the money for a cause. If you don’t have money, the reason is often because you are not solving a problem, or you are not solving enough problems, or you are not solving the right problem or you are not solving problems for the right people.

There’s so much money everywhere. Money surrounds us in the form of problems. It’s up to you to look at your community, company, institution etc. and ask, what can I do to fix these problems or challenges? When you proffer a solution with a better quality, money will come to your pocket. As one of my mentors will say, when the man with money meets the man with experience, the man with money will lose his experience to gain money and the man with experience will part with his experience to gain money.

Here is my advice: instead of begging people for money, ask them what can you do for them?

Add Value

The final but not the least is value. It’s instructive to note that the more you learn, the more you earn.  Just like, network, access, education, money, relationship, are regarded as currencies.  Value is the new currency. In fact, value is the center of all currency because they have something which people need. If you don’t have value, you won’t be respected or valued.  Most times people just think they are nobody, maybe because they think they are poor, or not from a rich family. No, we are all relevant. It’s due to an inferiority complex that will make one to believe they are nobody. Everyone has a value. Provided you are a human being, there is something you can do.

Just like the poor man needs the rich man, the rich man also needs the poor man. Just like the USA doesn’t have all the resources despite being the most powerful nation on the planet, they also have needs, for instance they need some resources from other countries to supplement their needs.

In summary, if you want to receive, ask yourself, what am I giving?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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