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Food for Living: A Solid Relationship Precedes Success
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Relationships are very vital for our success. It is rather unfortunate that many people don’t understand the rationale behind, as well as the influential nature of having a dynamic relationship. It is imperative to note that we are all products of relationships. We relate with our spouses, children, friends, family, colleagues, and humanity in general. It is often advised to be civil to all, social to many, and familiar to few. However, having the ability to nurture these relationships is very important in life. But of more important is being able to decipher how to relate to each, and knowing the exact persons you admit into a relationship. Note that a wise man once said “be careful who you let into your ship because some people will sink the whole ship just because they can’t be the captain”. A word, they say, is enough for the wise.
Notwithstanding, we are not unaware that relationships are very important in our lives. We are all products of relationships. We are created as relational beings. We live for relationships. Little wonder when God wants to bless us, he uses people. Of course, when the devil wants to mess us up, he also uses people. Relationships will either make or mar us, so it is wise to ensure that we don’t allow toxic relationships, and we don’t take beneficial relationships for granted.
Before you relate to anyone, you must relate with yourself. You can never relate cordially with others if you cannot relate with yourself. A better relationship with yourself begins with understanding yourself. If you cannot relate to yourself, you will find it difficult to relate with others. Many people don’t understand themselves and therefore, find it difficult to relate with others.
Every relationship is literally different. Just as our faces look different, our attitudes, behaviours, character and instincts are different. Every relationship needs different ingredients to thrive. A business relationship needs trust, discipline, understanding and honesty to thrive, while a marital relationship needs romance, honesty, tolerance, understanding, communication, compromise, trust, sacrifice, and compatibility to thrive.
Just to let you how powerful a relationship is, in some social parlance, it is often said that if God wants to bless a man, he sends a man and if he wants to destroy a man, he sends a woman. Relationships come in different ways; your relationship with your wife can make or mar you. If you marry the wrong person, your life will take a different route, but if you marry right, he/she will attract opportunities, blessings, and a good support system for you.
In business, the ability to meet your clients and customers where they are is critical to your success. People will do business with you if they trust and like you. Building relationships doesn’t entail relating only with the high and mighty in society. It does not mean relating with only productive people. Yes, these sets of minds are very resourceful and should be generally used for evaluation, but do you know that a good relationship with a security officer, cleaner, cook, artisan, and the low class in the society can be the icing on your cake that will change the course of your life. This is because they may have access to your potential investor.
In order to have a fruitful relationship, it is important to study emotional intelligence because it will go a long to manage the vicissitudes of life in addition to letting you know if the relationship is for you or not. Emotional intelligence deals with self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, social management, and then empathy. These are very important for a successful relationship, and need to be well managed.
As human beings, we are products of two major factors 1. Nature – how we were born and 2. Nurture – How we grow (parents, environment, school, friends, experiences, etc.). These two factors put together determines our make and personalities. Emotional intelligence will help you to nurture your relationship.
We all desire to have a fruitful relationship, no doubt. It can be in our personal or professional capacity. However, it is important to note that there’s no formula or script for any successful relationship; one needs to be deliberate and intentional to make it work. A relationship is simply like a gift that’s yet to be open. No one sees the full picture of a gift, the same is applicable to a relationship. You can hardly tell the surprise character or attitude your partner can spring up during your relationship. Therefore, an individual’s level of emotional intelligence will determine a lot. Good emotional intelligence will help you to be aware and manage your partners’ emotions, creating a room to accommodate mistakes and learning to forgive.
In order to have a successful marital relationship, here are some bullet points to avoid
1. The urge to control your spouse, partner, people, etc. Resist this urge nor matter how hard it tries to raise its ugly head. For instance, if you are the provider for the family and you are a female, resist the urge to control or manipulate your spouse. Any form of manipulation is witchcraft.
2. Avoid the need to always be right at all costs. Generally, in marriage, there’s no winner and loser. You either win together or lose together. The best way to approach this issue is by applying the best interest judgment. Both parties must hear each other and select the best point.
3. Resist the temptation to retaliate and not forgive. Avoid the habits of digging up past hurts and wounds to retaliate. In marriage, you are bound to hurt each other, the ability to tolerate is very vital to the success of your marriage.
4. Resist the urge to criticize far more than you encourage: Marriage needs appreciation and support to grow. However, if you are to criticize, you must do it constructively. If you are criticized objectively, two things are possible; if it is untrue, ignore the urge to be irritated, but if it is true, it is not a criticism, it’s a lesson; learn from it.
5. Communicate how you feel. Communication is the life wire of any marital relationship. Without communication, the marriage dies just like a plant dies without water. Communication works in different forms for different people. Communication helps to build intimacy in marriage. Words are very important in marriage, in fact, they can ignite a fire that can lead to the dissolution of a marriage if the wrongly used.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Jigawa State governor, Umar Namadi, has cautioned against calls for self-defence from mauruding bandits and killer herders, warning that such a move could plunge the country into anarchy.
Speaking on Channels Television’s Sunrise Daily on Monday, Governor Namadi responded to recent comments by retired General Theophilus Danjuma, who urged Nigerians to defend themselves against bandits and armed attackers, particularly in Benue and Plateau states.
General Danjuma, a former Minister of Defence, had argued that reliance on the government for protection was no longer tenable given the spate of violence and killings in the country.
“It is now very clear that the government alone cannot protect us. We must stand up and defend ourselves, our families, and our lands before these criminals overrun the entire country,” Danjuma said during a public event in Takum, Taraba State, on Saturday.
But Governor Namadi rejected that approach, describing it as a dangerous path.
“He (T.Y. Danjuma) is a very senior security person, and his words deserve respect and analysis,” Namadi said. “But I think if you say citizens should be allowed to defend themselves, you’re causing anarchy. I don’t think we’ve reached that level yet.”
He argued that rather than encourage armed self-defence, the government at all levels must continue to strengthen Nigeria’s security architecture.
“The government is doing its best in terms of security arrangements. If you allow the people to defend themselves, that means you are encouraging a crisis between farmers and herders,” the governor warned.
Namadi cited his administration’s approach to resolving the long-standing farmer-herder clashes in Jigawa State as a better alternative. According to him, when he assumed office, he prioritised non-violent conflict resolution strategies.
“When we came in, we decided to employ a lot of strategies and tactics, including dialogue,” he said. “We engaged traditional rulers, as well as representatives of both farmers and herders. We sat down, reached a consensus, and established standing committees to reconcile all parties.”
He added that these efforts helped halt a decades-long conflict:
“The people now understand that the 25 years spent fighting and killing each other were not worth it. Today, they are able to work, interact, and live together in peace.”
Governor Namadi further noted that Jigawa is currently not among the states facing severe threats such as insurgency or mass killings by bandits. Instead, the primary challenge had been farmer-herder clashes, which his administration has successfully curtailed.
“We thank God that Jigawa State is not affected by insurgency or insecurity for no. The major issue we are dealing with is the herders-farmers clash, and we are addressing it decisively,” he said.
Despite the worsening security in other parts of the country, Governor Namadi insisted that self-defence is not a viable solution and could deepen the crisis:
“So, I think the government is doing its best, both at the federal and state levels. The issue of asking people to defend themselves — I think we have not reached that level yet.
Dr. Hakeem Baba-Ahmed, a former Special Adviser on Political Matters to President Bola Tinubu, has revealed that the North will, in the next six months, take a stand on who to support for the presidency in 2027.
He boasted that no politician can win the presidency in 2027 without the support of the region.
In a video interview he granted in Hausa language, Baba-Ahmed, who appeared alongside a former Executive Secretary of the National Health Insurance Scheme, Usman Yusuf, lamented the state of the nation and urged northerners to resist divisive and deceptive politicians ahead of the next general elections.
He said: “In the next six months, the North will decide where it stands. If the rest of the country wants to join us, fine. If not, we will go our own way. One thing is clear: nobody can become president of Nigeria without northern support.
“We want a government that understands our problems and can address them. After Buhari’s eight years, we became wiser. Now, we are in another government, and we are still crying. Is crying all we know how to do?” Baba-Ahmed asked.
According to the former presidential aide, the North has suffered greatly during the Boko Haram insurgency, which affected all groups, Muslims, Christians, Fulani, Baju, and others, highlighting the need for unity.
“Before Buhari became president, Boko Haram was bombing mosques, churches, Abuja, and Lagos. That was a time Northerners had to unite. Today, no politician can just show up and expect Northerners to fall in line. Who are you?” he questioned.
He therefore warned against further marginalization of the North, noting that continued disregard for the region would have consequences.
“If they plan to rig the election, they should be careful. It won’t be good for Nigeria. The North is watching, elders, masses, and interest groups will soon say “enough is enough ‘. The injustice and sidelining must stop.
Baba-Ahmed urged the northern region to look beyond identity politics, stressing that competence and integrity should guide voter decisions.
“We are tired of being deceived into voting based on religion or ethnicity. That era is over. We just want a right leader, we just want someone who will solve our problems,” he said.
Telecommunications giant, Globacom, has charged Christians to embrace the virtues that Christ preached as the 2025 Easter celebrations hold this weekend.
While congratulating Christians in Nigeria in a goodwill message released from its Lagos Head Office on Thursday, Globacom admonished them to imbibe the noble qualities of Jesus Christ.
According to Glo, “Peace, love and sacrifice are the central message of Easter. Christ offered himself in atonement for the sins of the world and he lived a life which made Him an eternal symbol of peace and goodwill for mankind”
Globacom charged all Nigerians to espouse the lessons of selflessness, a necessary ingredient in the growth and development of every society and called on all Nigerians to join hands to make Nigeria a better place for all.
The company praised their perseverance through the 40-day Lenten period which comes before Easter as it emphasized the ideals of selflessness, love and peace among all as a way of demonstrating the exemplary life of Jesus Christ.
Easter comes yearly at the end of the Lenten season of fasting and prayer considered as a ritual of purification for the Christian faithful. It also precedes the crucifixion of the Lord Jesus Christ on Good Friday and His eventual resurrection on Easter Sunday.
The company assured its customers of unhindered voice, data and Short Messaging Service (SMS) during and after the Easter celebrations, while urging them to avail themselves of the various data and voice offerings on the network.
