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Food for Living: A Solid Relationship Precedes Success
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Relationships are very vital for our success. It is rather unfortunate that many people don’t understand the rationale behind, as well as the influential nature of having a dynamic relationship. It is imperative to note that we are all products of relationships. We relate with our spouses, children, friends, family, colleagues, and humanity in general. It is often advised to be civil to all, social to many, and familiar to few. However, having the ability to nurture these relationships is very important in life. But of more important is being able to decipher how to relate to each, and knowing the exact persons you admit into a relationship. Note that a wise man once said “be careful who you let into your ship because some people will sink the whole ship just because they can’t be the captain”. A word, they say, is enough for the wise.
Notwithstanding, we are not unaware that relationships are very important in our lives. We are all products of relationships. We are created as relational beings. We live for relationships. Little wonder when God wants to bless us, he uses people. Of course, when the devil wants to mess us up, he also uses people. Relationships will either make or mar us, so it is wise to ensure that we don’t allow toxic relationships, and we don’t take beneficial relationships for granted.
Before you relate to anyone, you must relate with yourself. You can never relate cordially with others if you cannot relate with yourself. A better relationship with yourself begins with understanding yourself. If you cannot relate to yourself, you will find it difficult to relate with others. Many people don’t understand themselves and therefore, find it difficult to relate with others.
Every relationship is literally different. Just as our faces look different, our attitudes, behaviours, character and instincts are different. Every relationship needs different ingredients to thrive. A business relationship needs trust, discipline, understanding and honesty to thrive, while a marital relationship needs romance, honesty, tolerance, understanding, communication, compromise, trust, sacrifice, and compatibility to thrive.
Just to let you how powerful a relationship is, in some social parlance, it is often said that if God wants to bless a man, he sends a man and if he wants to destroy a man, he sends a woman. Relationships come in different ways; your relationship with your wife can make or mar you. If you marry the wrong person, your life will take a different route, but if you marry right, he/she will attract opportunities, blessings, and a good support system for you.
In business, the ability to meet your clients and customers where they are is critical to your success. People will do business with you if they trust and like you. Building relationships doesn’t entail relating only with the high and mighty in society. It does not mean relating with only productive people. Yes, these sets of minds are very resourceful and should be generally used for evaluation, but do you know that a good relationship with a security officer, cleaner, cook, artisan, and the low class in the society can be the icing on your cake that will change the course of your life. This is because they may have access to your potential investor.
In order to have a fruitful relationship, it is important to study emotional intelligence because it will go a long to manage the vicissitudes of life in addition to letting you know if the relationship is for you or not. Emotional intelligence deals with self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, social management, and then empathy. These are very important for a successful relationship, and need to be well managed.
As human beings, we are products of two major factors 1. Nature – how we were born and 2. Nurture – How we grow (parents, environment, school, friends, experiences, etc.). These two factors put together determines our make and personalities. Emotional intelligence will help you to nurture your relationship.
We all desire to have a fruitful relationship, no doubt. It can be in our personal or professional capacity. However, it is important to note that there’s no formula or script for any successful relationship; one needs to be deliberate and intentional to make it work. A relationship is simply like a gift that’s yet to be open. No one sees the full picture of a gift, the same is applicable to a relationship. You can hardly tell the surprise character or attitude your partner can spring up during your relationship. Therefore, an individual’s level of emotional intelligence will determine a lot. Good emotional intelligence will help you to be aware and manage your partners’ emotions, creating a room to accommodate mistakes and learning to forgive.
In order to have a successful marital relationship, here are some bullet points to avoid
1. The urge to control your spouse, partner, people, etc. Resist this urge nor matter how hard it tries to raise its ugly head. For instance, if you are the provider for the family and you are a female, resist the urge to control or manipulate your spouse. Any form of manipulation is witchcraft.
2. Avoid the need to always be right at all costs. Generally, in marriage, there’s no winner and loser. You either win together or lose together. The best way to approach this issue is by applying the best interest judgment. Both parties must hear each other and select the best point.
3. Resist the temptation to retaliate and not forgive. Avoid the habits of digging up past hurts and wounds to retaliate. In marriage, you are bound to hurt each other, the ability to tolerate is very vital to the success of your marriage.
4. Resist the urge to criticize far more than you encourage: Marriage needs appreciation and support to grow. However, if you are to criticize, you must do it constructively. If you are criticized objectively, two things are possible; if it is untrue, ignore the urge to be irritated, but if it is true, it is not a criticism, it’s a lesson; learn from it.
5. Communicate how you feel. Communication is the life wire of any marital relationship. Without communication, the marriage dies just like a plant dies without water. Communication works in different forms for different people. Communication helps to build intimacy in marriage. Words are very important in marriage, in fact, they can ignite a fire that can lead to the dissolution of a marriage if the wrongly used.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Food for Living: Find Your Calling
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
If you are asked, what’s your calling, what will be your response? If you are asked what your purpose on earth is, what will be your response? If you are asked who you are, what would be your response? These, no doubt, are interesting questions to decipher one’s calling.
Finding one’s calling is the best thing that can happen to anyone. According to one of my most cherished mentors, Dr. Yomi Garnett, the day you find your purpose is the day you become a millionaire. I couldn’t agree more to this saying because it is nothing but the gospel truth. This is because the best thing that can happen to anyone is knowing their calling.
According to Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. This is a fact. It’s quite unfortunate that many people are just existing as opposed to living. We were not created to exist, we were created to fill a vacuum, and we can only make an impact if we are intentionally answering our call.
Let’s circle back to the question I asked at the beginning of this article, what’s your calling? To answer this question, I would like you to approach it from a spiritual perspective. At creation, God called us to be something in the world, that’s why he gave us gifts and talents and told us to be fruitful and multiply.
Just like we all have names which our parents, friends, children, mentors, etc. call us. These names are reflections of what we mean to them or how they perceive us. Names are symbolic and have deep meanings if we apply reasoning to them. So, if we can answer the names we are called to earth, how about answering the name God called us at birth. I believe that’s the most important call or name we need to answer as human beings. When we answer the name God gave to us, the world will begin to respond to what we say because we have answered the mother’s call.
Why do I say this? Your purpose was made in heaven, but your calling is meant to be fulfilled on earth. It’s sad to see people answering different names they are not called. When God created you, there’s something he had in mind for you to accomplish or solve on earth, but it’s unfortunate due to life vicissitudes, some of us derail from the path God destined for us, and hence that’s the reason many of struggle because we are not working in the direction and pathway God designed for us to tread upon.
It should be known that your calling was not a conference call, the call was a personal call. If God wanted anyone to know your calling or purpose, he would have revealed it to anyone he wants, but he chose to reveal it to you, so the onus is on you to focus on it, follow it religiously and ultimately fulfill it because that’s the only way you can get fulfillment.
I also asked, what’s your purpose? Your purpose is the reason why you do whatever you are doing. In this context, your purpose is your why. According to Dr. Myles Munroe, “When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” Your purpose is the reason why you applied for a job, married your partner, started an NGO, a business, relocated/travelled, started school, or even wrote a book. There’s always a reason why we do something. That reason is the inspiration and motivation we need to forge when everything else fails.
Again, I ask you what’s your purpose? If you can’t figure out your purpose, I will strongly advise you to go to your creator (God) and ask him, what’s your purpose because he’s the person that created you. When people desire different interests in different majors, skills, profession, vocation, etc., it’s simply because someone puts the desire and interest inside them.
To understand how purpose works, there’s no problem on earth without a solution. The only problem without a solution is the problem the person with the solution hasn’t arrived.
Let me share a practical example on purpose. There was a story of an old man whose car (Ford) broke down in the middle of the road, all efforts to fix the car proved abortive. An old man was passing by and saw this man struggling to fix the car, he asked him, “What’s the problem?” The old man said, well, my car has refused to start. The stranger told the man to give a minute. The man initially refused saying who is this old man to fix what I have been working on for hours.
On second thought, he said, what will I lose if I give him a chance. He decided to listen to the old man who told him to give me a minute to check out the car. This stranger didn’t do much, he just touched a particular side of the engine and told the old man to start the car, and immediately the car cranked back to her life. The man was surprised and asked him, who are you? ” The stranger said, “I am Henry Ford, the owner of Ford Motors.
The moral of this story is, Henry Ford, the founder of Ford motors, knows his car more than everyone. So, if a mere mortal can know much, how much about the creator who will not know about our purpose?
When you find your purpose, you find your why, but when you find your why you must find your purpose.
The final question I asked, “Who are you? To answer these questions, I need you to focus on the inmate quality you are blessed with as opposed to what people think about you. What people think about you is your reputation, but who you are is your character. Some people associate titles to who they are. I think that’s the wrong interpretation. One might be a doctor, lawyer, Chief Operating Officer, professor, or even the governor or president, but that doesn’t make them good people with good traits, qualities, values and charismatic inmate abilities.
To lead one must have empathy, compassion, and heart of service. It is through these traits; one can see who a person really is and not the cloth of title they are showing the world.
So, to find one’s calling, here’s my sample suggestion, ask your creator (God), inquire what makes you happy, what you love to do, what do people compliment you more about you, what do you do with relative ease if you are woken from sleep? What is one thing you can do for free?
In conclusion, finding one’s calling is the best thing that can happen to anyone, the day you find your calling is the day one will begin to live their best life because you will begin to bless the world with their calling.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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2027: Tinubu Will Lose, Dele Momodu Insists, Says Hunger, Hardship Will Determine Outcome
A chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Chief Dele Momodu, has said no political permutation will save President Bola Tinubu in the 2027 presidential election, insisting that widespread hunger and hardship will determine the outcome.
Momodu stated this on Thursday during an appearance on Channels Television’s Politics Today, anchored by Seun Okinbaloye.
According to him, Nigerians across all regions and ethnic lines are united by economic hardship, which no amount of money or political calculation can overcome.
“The common factor now is the hunger in the land. No permutation can beat hunger. The Yorubas are suffering, the Hausas are suffering, the Igbos are suffering, everybody is suffering,” he said.
He argued that President Tinubu cannot buy the entire country, even if he was able to deploy money effectively in Lagos State politics in the past.
“Tinubu believes he can buy the whole of Nigeria, but my personal belief is that if he could buy the whole of Lagos, I doubt if he can use money to buy the whole of Nigeria,” Momodu stated.
The Ovation Publisher said Nigerians had become wiser and would collect any money offered to them during elections but still vote according to their conscience.
He cited the Osun State governorship election as a case study, noting that, despite the huge funds allegedly deployed, the people voted for Governor Ademola Adeleke.
“And a lot of people will take the money like they took it in Osun State. People’s eyes are wide open now. They brought a lot of money to Osun State, but they still lost the election to Ademola Adeleke,” he said.
Momodu also recalled that Tinubu lost Lagos State to Mr Peter Obi of the Labour Party in the 2023 presidential election, which he said proves that incumbency and financial muscle do not guarantee victory.
He maintained that President Tinubu would not win in 2027, claiming that many Nigerians could not imagine a second term for the administration.
“If you ask an average Nigerian today, do you trust Tinubu to conduct a free and fair election? 90 per cent will say no. Nobody trusts Tinubu, including his own supporters,” Momodu said.
On the detention of former Kaduna State Governor, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai, Momodu described him as a “prisoner of conscience” who is being persecuted because of his political influence.
“Nasir El-Rufai is a lion. They caged him because he is a lion. Even when a lion is caged, it is still a lion. They want him locked up until after 2027 because they fear his influence,” he said.
He disclosed that El-Rufai’s appointment as Deputy Chairman of the Atiku Abubakar Presidential Campaign Council was in honour of his sacrifice and resilience.
“It is a way of honouring his sacrifice because his travails are quite political in nature. That is why Nasir has become a prisoner of conscience. He is in the hands of a government that he helped to midwife,” Momodu added.
He said the 2027 election would be a referendum on hunger, hardship and governance, and not on political permutations.
Meanwhile, the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Digital Communications, Engagement and New Media Strategy, O’tega Ogra, has faulted Momodu’s comments.
Reacting to the interview, Ogra accused the opposition of embracing “perpetual negativity” and opposing government policies without objective assessment.
He said Momodu’s assertion ignored ongoing reforms and improvements recorded in key economic indicators, including foreign reserves, power generation and inflation management.
Ogra urged opposition figures to offer constructive criticism rather than painting a picture of total failure, stressing that President Tinubu would ultimately be judged by his reforms and track record.
The Tribune
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Obi Denies Telling UK-based Nigerians to Abandon Relatives Back Home
The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has denied asking Nigerians living in the United Kingdom to abandon relatives who depend on them for financial support, saying his message about hardship in Nigeria was distorted by political opponents.
Obi said he appreciates Nigerians in the Diaspora who make sacrifices to support their families at home, stressing that his concern is the country’s dependence on remittances to meet basic needs.
In a statement titled; “My Message Has Been Twisted”, posted on X on Tuesday, the former Governor of Anambra State clarified that he never asked Nigerians abroad to stop supporting their loved ones.
“I deeply appreciate Nigerians in the diaspora who work tirelessly and make enormous sacrifices to support their families back home,” he said.
“Their remittances pay for school fees, hospital bills, rent, and feeding expenses. Their patriotism and sacrifices deserve our profound respect. I never asked them to abandon their loved ones.”
Obi said his message was aimed at drawing attention to the economic conditions forcing millions of Nigerians to rely on relatives abroad for their survival.
“My concern is that Nigeria should not remain a country where millions depend on relatives abroad for basic survival,” he said.
“Our goal must be to build a nation that provides jobs, affordable healthcare, quality education, and economic opportunities for its citizens.”
He accused political opponents of misrepresenting his comments, insisting that his position is about addressing the causes of hardship rather than discouraging financial assistance to families.
“Political opponents may twist my message, but the truth remains clear: I am not asking Nigerians abroad to abandon their families. I am advocating for a Nigeria that will no longer abandon its own people,” he said.
The clarification followed backlash over comments Obi made during a town hall meeting with Diaspora supporters in Manchester on Sunday.
In a video that went viral, Obi urged Nigerians in the UK to think twice before giving money to relatives and others at home who ask them for financial assistance, arguing that such support could ease hardship without addressing its underlying causes.
“You have people at home in Nigeria today who are begging you for money. Tell them no!” he said.
Obi attributed the country’s economic difficulties to poor leadership, urging Nigerians abroad to encourage their relatives and friends at home to vote for leaders who would prioritise productivity and economic opportunities.






