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Food for Living: A Solid Relationship Precedes Success
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Relationships are very vital for our success. It is rather unfortunate that many people don’t understand the rationale behind, as well as the influential nature of having a dynamic relationship. It is imperative to note that we are all products of relationships. We relate with our spouses, children, friends, family, colleagues, and humanity in general. It is often advised to be civil to all, social to many, and familiar to few. However, having the ability to nurture these relationships is very important in life. But of more important is being able to decipher how to relate to each, and knowing the exact persons you admit into a relationship. Note that a wise man once said “be careful who you let into your ship because some people will sink the whole ship just because they can’t be the captain”. A word, they say, is enough for the wise.
Notwithstanding, we are not unaware that relationships are very important in our lives. We are all products of relationships. We are created as relational beings. We live for relationships. Little wonder when God wants to bless us, he uses people. Of course, when the devil wants to mess us up, he also uses people. Relationships will either make or mar us, so it is wise to ensure that we don’t allow toxic relationships, and we don’t take beneficial relationships for granted.
Before you relate to anyone, you must relate with yourself. You can never relate cordially with others if you cannot relate with yourself. A better relationship with yourself begins with understanding yourself. If you cannot relate to yourself, you will find it difficult to relate with others. Many people don’t understand themselves and therefore, find it difficult to relate with others.
Every relationship is literally different. Just as our faces look different, our attitudes, behaviours, character and instincts are different. Every relationship needs different ingredients to thrive. A business relationship needs trust, discipline, understanding and honesty to thrive, while a marital relationship needs romance, honesty, tolerance, understanding, communication, compromise, trust, sacrifice, and compatibility to thrive.
Just to let you how powerful a relationship is, in some social parlance, it is often said that if God wants to bless a man, he sends a man and if he wants to destroy a man, he sends a woman. Relationships come in different ways; your relationship with your wife can make or mar you. If you marry the wrong person, your life will take a different route, but if you marry right, he/she will attract opportunities, blessings, and a good support system for you.
In business, the ability to meet your clients and customers where they are is critical to your success. People will do business with you if they trust and like you. Building relationships doesn’t entail relating only with the high and mighty in society. It does not mean relating with only productive people. Yes, these sets of minds are very resourceful and should be generally used for evaluation, but do you know that a good relationship with a security officer, cleaner, cook, artisan, and the low class in the society can be the icing on your cake that will change the course of your life. This is because they may have access to your potential investor.
In order to have a fruitful relationship, it is important to study emotional intelligence because it will go a long to manage the vicissitudes of life in addition to letting you know if the relationship is for you or not. Emotional intelligence deals with self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, social management, and then empathy. These are very important for a successful relationship, and need to be well managed.
As human beings, we are products of two major factors 1. Nature – how we were born and 2. Nurture – How we grow (parents, environment, school, friends, experiences, etc.). These two factors put together determines our make and personalities. Emotional intelligence will help you to nurture your relationship.
We all desire to have a fruitful relationship, no doubt. It can be in our personal or professional capacity. However, it is important to note that there’s no formula or script for any successful relationship; one needs to be deliberate and intentional to make it work. A relationship is simply like a gift that’s yet to be open. No one sees the full picture of a gift, the same is applicable to a relationship. You can hardly tell the surprise character or attitude your partner can spring up during your relationship. Therefore, an individual’s level of emotional intelligence will determine a lot. Good emotional intelligence will help you to be aware and manage your partners’ emotions, creating a room to accommodate mistakes and learning to forgive.
In order to have a successful marital relationship, here are some bullet points to avoid
1. The urge to control your spouse, partner, people, etc. Resist this urge nor matter how hard it tries to raise its ugly head. For instance, if you are the provider for the family and you are a female, resist the urge to control or manipulate your spouse. Any form of manipulation is witchcraft.
2. Avoid the need to always be right at all costs. Generally, in marriage, there’s no winner and loser. You either win together or lose together. The best way to approach this issue is by applying the best interest judgment. Both parties must hear each other and select the best point.
3. Resist the temptation to retaliate and not forgive. Avoid the habits of digging up past hurts and wounds to retaliate. In marriage, you are bound to hurt each other, the ability to tolerate is very vital to the success of your marriage.
4. Resist the urge to criticize far more than you encourage: Marriage needs appreciation and support to grow. However, if you are to criticize, you must do it constructively. If you are criticized objectively, two things are possible; if it is untrue, ignore the urge to be irritated, but if it is true, it is not a criticism, it’s a lesson; learn from it.
5. Communicate how you feel. Communication is the life wire of any marital relationship. Without communication, the marriage dies just like a plant dies without water. Communication works in different forms for different people. Communication helps to build intimacy in marriage. Words are very important in marriage, in fact, they can ignite a fire that can lead to the dissolution of a marriage if the wrongly used.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Arsenal Fans Club Nigeria is set to be officially unveiled in Abuja this weekend, as the organisation prepares to strengthen the club’s fan base and promote community development through football.
Amongst the high profile personalities lined up for the unveiling ceremony include, business leaders, celebrities and notable Arsenal supporters like former Gunner, Kanu Nwankwo, former Senate President Bukola Saraki, Emir Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, Senator Dino Melaye amongst others.
The unveiling will form part of a two-day programme beginning on Friday, October 16, with delegates from state and city chapters expected to converge on the nation’s capital for the club’s second Annual General Meeting (AGM).
According to a press release issued on Monday by the organisation, the celebrations will feature sporting activities, a community sanitation initiative and a formal launch event attended by prominent personalities and Arsenal supporters.
National President of Arsenal Fans Club Nigeria, Charles Ojugbana, said the organisation draws inspiration from the achievements of Nigerian-descent footballers, including former Super Eagles striker Kanu Nwankwo and current stars Bukayo Saka, Noni Madueke and Eberechi Eze.
The former General Secretary of the Nigeria Football Association (NFA) said the club aims to improve the football fan experience while expanding support for Arsenal across Nigeria.
Activities scheduled for Saturday include aerobic sessions and a novelty football match before members proceed to Wuse Market for a clean-up campaign.
As part of the outreach, the club plans to donate refuse bins and other sanitation materials to the market’s leadership, in line with its commitment to philanthropy and community development.
Arsenal Fans Club Nigeria operates through a governance structure comprising a Board of Trustees, a National Executive Committee and a General Assembly, which serves as the organisation’s highest decision-making body.
The club also disclosed plans to promote awareness of Down syndrome among children in March 2027, as part of activities to commemorate World Down Syndrome Day.
The programme expresses the organisation’s ambition to extend its activities beyond football fandom to charitable causes and support for vulnerable members of the society.
The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has raised the alarm over a fraudulent publication circulating online concerning governorship candidates in six states ahead of the 2027 general elections.
The commission denied issuing the purported special announcement affecting Zamfara, Gombe, Delta, Plateau, Yobe and Kano states, warning Nigerians against being misled by the document.
In a public notice, INEC described the circulating publication as fake, stressing that it did not originate from the commission.
“The Commission wishes to categorically inform the general public that the publication is FAKE and did not originate from INEC,” the notice stated.
The electoral body urged Nigerians to disregard the publication and avoid sharing it, warning that the circulation of false electoral information could mislead the public.
INEC further clarified that it had not issued any special announcement concerning governorship candidates in the six affected states.
“The Commission further wishes to clarify that any information suggesting that INEC has issued a special announcement concerning governorship candidates in the aforementioned states is false,” it stated.
The commission advised political parties, candidates and members of the public to verify electoral information through its official website, news portal and verified social media accounts.
It also urged Nigerians to remain vigilant against fraudulent publications, particularly as preparations continue for the 2027 elections.
INEC reiterated its commitment to providing accurate electoral information and called on the public to rely exclusively on its official communication channels.
The Minister of Works, David Umahi, has defended the Federal Government’s decision to divert the Ondo section of the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway, saying the original route crossed terrain with pits more than 100 metres deep and would have significantly increased construction costs.
The minister said he was aware of petitions accusing him of diverting the route in Ondo State but maintained that the decision was justified.
“I am aware of petitions against me saying I diverted the Ondo section. I welcome that. That is how it is supposed to be because we are serving the public. You are subject to public scrutiny.
“But the important thing is whether you are doing the right thing or the wrong thing. We have no regret for decisions taken in Ondo,” he said.
According to Umahi, the original alignment passed through terrain with pits exceeding 100 metres in depth and lacked suitable sharp sand for up to 300 metres, making construction along the corridor considerably more expensive.
“You want me to pass through a terrain that you have over 100 metres of pits deep, and I have no defined sharp sand to 300 metres, and you expect the cost of one kilometre to be the same cost with a road passing through normal terrain?” he asked.
He said the ministry consequently undertook a detour and redesign to avoid the difficult terrain.
“We had to take a very serious engineering decision by making a detour, redesigning it to avoid such route. We are doing filling of over 10 metres, which is 30 feet plus, with sharp sand, and filling is almost concluded,” the minister said.
The diversion affects Sections 4A and 4B of the coastal highway, covering 67 kilometres, comprising 27 kilometres in Ogun State and about 40 kilometres in Ondo State. The section will terminate around the Ondo-Edo axis.
Providing an update on the wider project, Umahi said Section 1, a 47.47-kilometre stretch from Victoria Island, Lagos, had been completed and was ready for commissioning.
He added that the dual pavement on Section 2, which covers 55 kilometres and terminates at the Lagos-Ogun boundary, would be completed next month.
The minister said the flyovers, overpasses and underpasses on Section 2 had required extensive redesign, particularly around the Dangote Refinery and Lekki Deep Seaport.
He explained that an 86-metre-span bridge, with 43-metre counterforts, had been designed to accommodate refinery trucks and resolve a traffic conflict involving the deep-seaport train, the Dangote tax-credit road and the 25-kilometre Seventh Axial Road linking Epe to the Sagamu Expressway.
“We have redesigned a very beautiful flyover to resolve that conflict,” Umahi said.
At the Calabar end, he said Sections 3A and 3B, covering 65 kilometres, had achieved more than 30 per cent completion.
He added that work was ongoing on Section 5, an 82-kilometre dual carriageway in Akwa Ibom State, alongside an 88-kilometre link from Calabar to Ebidi Beach intended to connect with the Trans-Saharan route.
Umahi also disclosed that Tinubu had directed that the continuation of the coastal highway from Ondo into Edo State should follow the existing East-West Road rather than a new alignment.
Describing the directive as a major development, the minister said the existing road had been constructed without adequate consideration for climate change and rising flood risks.
He cited flooding at Ahoada about two weeks earlier, saying the permanent solution would involve raising sections of the road to protect it from current and projected flood levels.
“The permanent solution is the decision of Mr President to align the continuation through the East-West Road. We now have to raise the road in many locations by two metres to be above present and expected flood levels,” he said.
Source: Vanguard
