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Food for Living: Be Intentional in Carrying Your Cross
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Cross is a word that means several things to several people. For Christians, apart from serving as symbol of their faith, it refers to the agony Jesus Christ had to experience for the salvation of mankind. For a married couple, it refers to their partner’s excesses. For a grown man, it means the various endeavours required to provide for the family. For the woman, it can mean carrying a child for nine months, while for parents, it can be training and providing for their children, and for business people, it means developing, investing and growing their businesses. For employees on the other hand, it means doing the needful for the collective growth of the firm. On a general note, cross can refer to the burden or process one has to bear or undergo to be successful.
What therefore, is your cross? Yes, there’s no human being on earth without a cross. The crosses we carry however, vary. Cross is like pain. We all experience it differently. Just like it’s usually said in some social parlance, one man’s meat is another’s poison. Someone’s pain might be someone’s gain, and what might appear heavy for someone might be fun for another.
We can easily juxtapose the case of a wealthy man without a child with a poor man with children. They want what the other doesn’t have. Another scenario is where someone with enough wealth, but the children are not responsive to tutelage. Now contrast that to a case where someone might have just one or two children who are very responsible, but does not have money to support their needs and training.
Another scenario is where a student might have money, but lacks understanding to pass a subject unlike another student who might be poor, but he’s extremely intelligent. I can go on and on, but as a sage would say, a word is enough for the wise.
In the journey of life, everyone carries a cross at a particular point in time. This cross appears in various stages. The newly born child must undergo the process of crawling, walking and running. At each stage, the child carried a cross. In the same way, when the child is two years, the interest of the child changes. And it is when he becomes four years, six years, eight years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, 35 years, 40 years 50 years and 60 years, and continues to change as the years add. A closer look will explain that the child will definitely carry a cross at each stage of their life until they leave this world. The cross never ends, it just changes.
The same principle is applicable to relationships. During dating or courtship, the way partners relate is quite different from when they are married. When they are married, their love language hits different, and when the kids begin to come in, it’s a different story. When their marriage hits five, 10, 15, 20, and 30 years, it’s a different ball game entirely. The interesting thing here is that, what ordinarily might not be a problem during their first three years might threaten their marriage in five or ten years because the cross they carry has shifted.
Everyone has a cross irrespective if the profession or leaning. I call this cross “secret frustration”. What makes the ultimate difference is how we manage the pain or frustration. If the pain, challenge or cross is properly managed, one will not appear burnt, however, if the pain takes a toil on you, one will pay the price and if not properly managed it can have an adverse repercussion.
Furthermore, carrying one’s cross involves carrying one’s responsibility and vision. Nobody will carry it for you. Imagine, having a vision and giving it to someone else, nobody will carry your vision for you, neither will anyone do the work for you.
In my personal experience in life, I have always searched for men who can pour into me whether financially, academically, mentally, spiritually and health-wise. One may wonder what I gained during the period, I was disappointed on several occasions. It was the moment I realized my life and success was entirely in my hands, I became intentional in carrying my cross and results began to trickle in. The moral of my experience is that nobody will save you, you must save yourself. The best anybody can do is to assist you to save you.
One of the surprising things I have discovered when people carry their crosses is that others appear to be spectators; they observe with reservation to see how life will unfold for you. By the time one succeeds, these observers appear like flies to grab their own share of largesse they didn’t invest in. Suddenly, they become entitled to your hard-earned money and opportunities which they didn’t contribute to making. As one of my mentors will say, you are allowed to do the work, but you are not permitted to eat alone. These sets of ignorant minds fail to understand the importance of taking risks, sacrificing and building strategic relationships. These are the strong pillars which separate an ordinary mind from an extraordinary man.
The moral of this analysis is that the extra-ordinary man was intentional in carrying his cross by taking strategic risks, experiencing failures and building and investing in strategic relationships which culminated to their success, but the ordinary man was merely concerned in staying in their comfort zones.
It’s instructive to note that it’s not easy for anyone; everyone is dealing with something. Sometimes, people make foolish mistakes and take poor decisions which cause them a fortune and they expect someone who they consider as a Lamb of God to take away their sins, but life doesn’t work that way. If you ask someone for assistance and they say they can’t afford it, please don’t be mad, because if you can, you wouldn’t ask them.
In conclusion, I don’t know what your situation is, but I’m here to tell you, your cross is valid, and your cross will not only design your destiny, but it will unleash your destiny which will ultimately set you apart. So, don’t be hard on yourself when you are carrying your cross, it’s part of life’s journey and process to fashion and unleash you to the world.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The mind is very powerful, so powerful that most people do not know what they possess. To this extent, some have given out their mind-power without knowing it. The power of the mind is akeen to a voice that speaks. This is because the human is more or less the strongest arsenal in everyone’s possession.
The voice brings freedom; it’s so inalienable that we can use it during elections, meetings, and where opinion matters. That’s why I strongly believe that as a human being, when you lose everything, you must not lose the power of your voice.
As a progressive being, there are many things that battle for our attention: family, friends, career, health, even our inner self demands attention. One of the greatest challenges we’ll have as human beings is how to apportion time to all of them because they all want to succeed. Failing to give them their due attention might lead to deficiency, which can ultimately lead to failure.
To succeed in all areas of life whether in business, academic, family, etc., one must have a winning mentality. The failure and success of anyone or project starts from the mind. When the mind has been conquered, it will be hard for anyone to succeed. That’s why one has to be intentional in what they consume whether it relates to the books they read, the association they keep and the thoughts they entertain.
We are shaped by our thoughts. According to Napoleon Hill in his book “Think and Grow Rich”, he stated, “whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe it can achieve it”. To succeed in life, we must have a winning mindset. One of the major problems we have as human beings is that sometimes we give up too early, especially when the odds are against us. But when we exhibit a winning mindset, failures, betrayals, setbacks, detractors, are seen as challenges and hurdles we must overcome to get to the promised land.
There are many examples of great minds who have exercised a winner mindset, a great name that comes to mind is Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln lost his job in 1832. He was defeated for state legislature in 1832. He failed in business in 1833 and was elected to the state legislature in 1834. His sweetheart died in 1835. He had a nervous breakdown in 1836 and was defeated for Speaker in 1838. In 1843, he was defeated for nomination for Congress. In 1846, he was elected to Congress and in 1848, he lost renomination in 1848. In 1849, he was rejected for land officer. In 1854, he was defeated for the U.S. Senate. Again, he was defeated for nomination for Vice President in 1856 and defeated for U.S. Senate in 1858. Finally, in 1860, he was elected the 16th President of the United States of America.
If we are honest with ourselves, it will be hard for one to forge ahead after experiencing numerous setbacks in business, family, health, career, and even personal challenges. I had to use Abraham Lincoln because he embodies the winner mindset.
The winner’s mindset is not only limited to one’s thoughts. It’s applicable to every area of one’s life. The winner’s mindset is more than just having good thoughts, thinking positively or even standing up when one fails. No, it entails more than that. The winner’s mindset is a lifestyle which preaches the gospel of doing what you must do and be appreciative of the feedback.
The winner’s mindset has the mentality of preparing for the best and expecting the worst. This entails one can’t be taken by surprise if their plans don’t work out well, and this means one will have to go back to the drawing board to fix it.
A good way to understand how a winner’s mindset plays out can be seen during football(soccer) competitions or track and field events where athletes have almost given up hope of winning the game or race.
A case of interest that comes to mind was during the 1996 Atlanta Olympics soccer semi-final competition where the Nigeria Dream team defeated the Brazil Seleção Brasileira de Futebol team in what can be considered one of the greatest comebacks in football history.
Let me give a brief overview, the Nigerian team were down with two goals. As a matter of fact, at a time during the match, the Brazilian team scored a fourth goal which was disqualified. The Nigerian team also had a penalty they lost. Going into the Semi final, the Brazilians were considered the favorites, and the Nigeria team were considered the underdogs. The odds were literally against the Nigeria team because the Brazilians had a formidable team.
Despite the Brazilian team leading Nigeria 3-1, the Nigerian team were able to bounce back during the last 15 minutes and won the game during the extra time. While is this story interesting and relevant? Well, in the game of soccer, nobody gives up until the final whistle is blown by the referee and the same applies in track and field events especially in track events. We have seen scenarios where athletes were almost at the finish line but lost out due to fatigue or one challenge or the other, the athlete fails to finish the race. It gets interesting during relay races.
Back to the soccer competition, one factor that helped the Nigerian team was the winner mindset. They didn’t give up despite the few minutes remaining in the game. They still gave their best and it paid off. It’s instructive to note that the average Nigerian always has the can-do mindset. The average Nigerian hardly gives up.
According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a renowned ghostwriter, “To be a winner, you have to act like one. Winners don’t function the way most people do. They are always striving, always analyzing, and always questioning themselves. They tend to notice details that other people miss or overlook. Indeed, it is clear that great people have two things in common: a passion to succeed and an almost obsessive attention to detail.
In conclusion, the question we’ll have to ask ourselves is what kind of mentality do we have? Do you have a negative or positive mindset? When people see challenges, do you see solutions or opportunities to solve problems to create wealth? Do you have a growth mindset or poverty mindset?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Minister of Police Affairs, Ibrahim Gaidam, has expressed deep satisfaction with the conduct of the ongoing recruitment exercises for its orderly and transparent nature across the country.
He made the commendation, according to a statement made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP), while receiving feedback from filed officers across the country and described the process as not just a routine exercise, but a critical step toward rebuilding public trust and enhancing the operational capacity of the Nigeria Police Force.
The Minister urged all participants to remain law-abiding, disciplined, and patient throughout the screening process. He emphasized that integrity and respect for due process are as important as physical and academic qualifications, noting that the future of policing in Nigeria depends largely on the character and commitment of those who wear the uniform.
“This is more than recruitment; it is a call to national service,” he stated. “Nigeria needs men and women of honor, individuals who understand that security is the foundation upon which development and prosperity are built.” Gaidam stressed.
The Minister also extended heartfelt appreciation to the administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu GCFR for its bold and strategic approval of the recruitment of 50,000 police personnel.
He stressed that the unprecedented move demonstrates a clear resolve to address longstanding gaps in manpower while repositioning the Police Force to meet modern security challenges, just as he noted that beyond numbers, the current administration is focused on meaningful reform—transforming policing into a more professional, accountable, and citizen-centered institution.
Gaidam stated that from improved training frameworks to enhanced welfare and operational support, the reform agenda signals a new era for law enforcement in Nigeria.
The Minister noted that the ongoing recruitment exercise, therefore, stands as a symbol of renewed hope—a bridge between the present challenges and a future where communities feel safer, justice is more accessible, and the rule of law is upheld without compromise.
As the screening continues across the nation, the Minister called on all stakeholders—traditional leaders, community members, and institutions, to support the process and encourage eligible youths to participate with sincerity and patriotism.
“Nigeria’s path to a safer, more secure future is being steadily strengthened through deliberate reforms and renewed commitment to nation-building noting that at the heart of this progress is the ongoing nationwide police recruitment screening exercise, an initiative that reflects both hope and responsibility for thousands of young Nigerians,” the Minister concluded.
Presidential spokesperson, Mr. Bayo Onanuga, has launched a scathing attack on Rauf Aregbesola following the latter’s criticism of President Bola Tinubu’s administration.
The exchange comes hours after Aregbesola, while speaking at the convention of the African Democratic Congress (ADC) on Tuesday, described the Tinubu administration as a government of “scammers”, urging Nigerians to block it from retaining power after the 2027 general elections.
“If allowed, this regime will continue to chant renewed hope till eternity. We have a duty to stop these scammers from retaining power,” Aregbesola said.
In a swift response, Onanuga dismissed the remarks and accused the former Governor of Osun State of hypocrisy and poor performance during his time in office.
“My attention has been drawn to Rauf Aregbesola’s attack on the Tinubu administration at today’s illegal elective convention of the ADC — a party of desperados and power mongers who, to date, have not articulated any credible plan for Nigeria,” he said.
Onanuga further criticised Aregbesola for failing to reflect on his own record before attacking his “former boss and benefactor.”
“Unfortunately, Aregbesola did not undertake any honest self-reflection on his own record in public office — as governor or as Minister of Interior,” he stated.
He alleged that Aregbesola’s tenure as governor of Osun State was marked by hardship and poor economic management.
“His eight years as governor of Osun State were characterised by unmitigated hardship for the people. Under his half-baked socialist policies, civil servants went unpaid for months, and those who were paid received only a fraction of their salaries,” Onanuga said.
“It is to Aregbesola’s infamy that Osun became known as a State receiving negative federal allocation and paying just 20 to 30 per cent of normal salaries. It was worse for pensioners in Aregbesola’s Osun State. Many pensioners who relied on their meagre monthly payments died because they were not paid at all.”
Turning to Aregbesola’s tenure as Minister of Interior under former President Muhammadu Buhari, Onanuga said it recorded major security lapses.
“As Minister of Interior under President Muhammadu Buhari, his tenure witnessed the highest number of jailbreaks in Nigeria’s history — including the infamous Kuje Prison escape in Abuja,” he said.
“During his four years, obtaining a Nigerian passport became a nightmarish process, and there were 15 major attacks on correctional facilities in Jos, Abolongo, Imo, Kabba, and Okitipupa, resulting in over 4,000 inmates escaping to join criminal elements.”
Onanuga added, “For someone who failed so woefully to secure our correctional centres and uphold his duties between 2019 and 2023, it is ironic that Aregbesola now seeks to lecture others on insecurity.”
He further accused Aregbesola and other ADC leaders of lacking credible policy alternatives stating, “The real scammers are the politicians inside the SPV called ADC.”
Defending the current administration, Onanuga said the government had acknowledged challenges arising from reforms but was implementing measures to mitigate their impact.
“The Tinubu administration has never shied away from acknowledging that policy reforms have brought unintended consequences, impacting the most vulnerable,” he said, adding that efforts such as wage increases, social support programmes, and economic reforms were underway.
He insisted that the administration’s Renewed Hope Agenda was yielding results, including improved economic indicators and increased investor confidence.
“The Renewed Hope Agenda is not a scam,” Onanuga said, maintaining that the government would continue its policies to stabilise the economy and address security challenges.
