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Food for Living: Be Intentional in Carrying Your Cross
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Cross is a word that means several things to several people. For Christians, apart from serving as symbol of their faith, it refers to the agony Jesus Christ had to experience for the salvation of mankind. For a married couple, it refers to their partner’s excesses. For a grown man, it means the various endeavours required to provide for the family. For the woman, it can mean carrying a child for nine months, while for parents, it can be training and providing for their children, and for business people, it means developing, investing and growing their businesses. For employees on the other hand, it means doing the needful for the collective growth of the firm. On a general note, cross can refer to the burden or process one has to bear or undergo to be successful.
What therefore, is your cross? Yes, there’s no human being on earth without a cross. The crosses we carry however, vary. Cross is like pain. We all experience it differently. Just like it’s usually said in some social parlance, one man’s meat is another’s poison. Someone’s pain might be someone’s gain, and what might appear heavy for someone might be fun for another.
We can easily juxtapose the case of a wealthy man without a child with a poor man with children. They want what the other doesn’t have. Another scenario is where someone with enough wealth, but the children are not responsive to tutelage. Now contrast that to a case where someone might have just one or two children who are very responsible, but does not have money to support their needs and training.
Another scenario is where a student might have money, but lacks understanding to pass a subject unlike another student who might be poor, but he’s extremely intelligent. I can go on and on, but as a sage would say, a word is enough for the wise.
In the journey of life, everyone carries a cross at a particular point in time. This cross appears in various stages. The newly born child must undergo the process of crawling, walking and running. At each stage, the child carried a cross. In the same way, when the child is two years, the interest of the child changes. And it is when he becomes four years, six years, eight years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, 35 years, 40 years 50 years and 60 years, and continues to change as the years add. A closer look will explain that the child will definitely carry a cross at each stage of their life until they leave this world. The cross never ends, it just changes.
The same principle is applicable to relationships. During dating or courtship, the way partners relate is quite different from when they are married. When they are married, their love language hits different, and when the kids begin to come in, it’s a different story. When their marriage hits five, 10, 15, 20, and 30 years, it’s a different ball game entirely. The interesting thing here is that, what ordinarily might not be a problem during their first three years might threaten their marriage in five or ten years because the cross they carry has shifted.
Everyone has a cross irrespective if the profession or leaning. I call this cross “secret frustration”. What makes the ultimate difference is how we manage the pain or frustration. If the pain, challenge or cross is properly managed, one will not appear burnt, however, if the pain takes a toil on you, one will pay the price and if not properly managed it can have an adverse repercussion.
Furthermore, carrying one’s cross involves carrying one’s responsibility and vision. Nobody will carry it for you. Imagine, having a vision and giving it to someone else, nobody will carry your vision for you, neither will anyone do the work for you.
In my personal experience in life, I have always searched for men who can pour into me whether financially, academically, mentally, spiritually and health-wise. One may wonder what I gained during the period, I was disappointed on several occasions. It was the moment I realized my life and success was entirely in my hands, I became intentional in carrying my cross and results began to trickle in. The moral of my experience is that nobody will save you, you must save yourself. The best anybody can do is to assist you to save you.
One of the surprising things I have discovered when people carry their crosses is that others appear to be spectators; they observe with reservation to see how life will unfold for you. By the time one succeeds, these observers appear like flies to grab their own share of largesse they didn’t invest in. Suddenly, they become entitled to your hard-earned money and opportunities which they didn’t contribute to making. As one of my mentors will say, you are allowed to do the work, but you are not permitted to eat alone. These sets of ignorant minds fail to understand the importance of taking risks, sacrificing and building strategic relationships. These are the strong pillars which separate an ordinary mind from an extraordinary man.
The moral of this analysis is that the extra-ordinary man was intentional in carrying his cross by taking strategic risks, experiencing failures and building and investing in strategic relationships which culminated to their success, but the ordinary man was merely concerned in staying in their comfort zones.
It’s instructive to note that it’s not easy for anyone; everyone is dealing with something. Sometimes, people make foolish mistakes and take poor decisions which cause them a fortune and they expect someone who they consider as a Lamb of God to take away their sins, but life doesn’t work that way. If you ask someone for assistance and they say they can’t afford it, please don’t be mad, because if you can, you wouldn’t ask them.
In conclusion, I don’t know what your situation is, but I’m here to tell you, your cross is valid, and your cross will not only design your destiny, but it will unleash your destiny which will ultimately set you apart. So, don’t be hard on yourself when you are carrying your cross, it’s part of life’s journey and process to fashion and unleash you to the world.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Worry is a part of human emotion, and every living entity worry about some things, some times. It’s practically natural. People worry about life, finance, children, health, academics, career and even personal development or spiritual life. All these however, can distract and take away someone’s peace.
Worry is an unfortunate habit, which many people have erroneously believe they can live without, but the stark truth is that no one can live without worry. It’s inbuit. Even when we think we have everything, we discover that there’s something we are lacking. These could be what money can’t buy. It’s instructive to note here that nobody is perfect, and nobody has everything because everybody is limited.
To further buttress the limitation of man, imagine the human body; we have eyes, legs, mouth, tongue, nose, anus, hands among others, but none can say it is more superior than the other. If the leg, eyes or nose says it’s more important, the anus can decide to close, and the body system will be uncomfortable as it won’t be able to discharge waste products. The eyes can’t say it’s more important than the ears, neither can the nose say it’s more important than the legs or hands. Every one of them has different and definite functions.
So, when one of the body parts is not working well, it can make one worry. But the good news is that it is only a good attitude that can help us overcome challenges. It’s instructive to note that worry does not solve problems, rather it escalates the problem.
Problems do exist, I mean real life problems, do exist, some can be physical, spiritual, psychological, mental, spiritual, etc. When you have any of these problems, please don’t spend so much energy on the problems because it can escalate or create new ones
Although you can’t stop worrying entirely, there are steps you can take to better manage your anxious thoughts and reduce rumination.
1. Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind.
2. Write down your worries. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it and then continue about your day. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now.
3. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control.
4. After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less anxious.
5. Get up and get moving. Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment because it releases endorphins which relieve tension and stress, boost energy, and enhance your sense of well-being. Even more importantly, by really focusing on how your body feels as you move, you can interrupt the constant flow of worries running through your head.
6. Meditate. Meditation works by switching your focus from worrying about the future or dwelling on the past to what’s happening right now. By being fully engaged in the present moment, you can interrupt the endless loop of negative thoughts and worries.
7. Speak to a Licensed Therapist: Acknowledge and observe your worries. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging. Therapy has been shown to be extremely effective in helping people reduce worrying and manage anxiety.
8. Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful practice for reducing worrying, by teaching us awareness and acceptance of our thoughts and emotions in the present moment.. Psychotherapy provides a structured environment for individuals to learn practical skills and gain insights into their worrying patterns, ultimately helping them worry less and feel better.
Mindfulness effectively reduces symptoms of anxiety by teaching you to observe your worries without getting too caught up in them. One way to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life is through mindful breathing and meditation. Whenever you notice worrying thoughts coming up, gently bring your attention back to your breath, over time, regular mindfulness practice can help rewire the brain to respond to stressors more calmly, which reduces the impact of worrying on your mental health.
9. Gratitude: Practicing gratitude is a powerful way to maintain a positive outlook and reduce worrying. Research has shown that gratitude may reduce stress and improve mental health. Gratitude activates regions in the brain associated with dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter, leading to increased feelings of contentment and decreased worry.
By focusing on what we’re grateful for, we shift our attention away from negative thoughts, which ultimately helps us worry less. Start by keeping a gratitude journal and try writing down 5 things each day that you’re thankful for, no matter how small.
In conclusion, resolve today to be so strong that nothing and nobody can disturb your peace of mind.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
As Ekiti State prepares for Saturday’s governorship election, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has assured voters of its readiness to conduct a free, fair, and credible poll.
The Resident Electoral Commissioner (REC) in Ekiti State, Bunmi Omoseyindemi, urged eligible voters to participate confidently in the electoral process, stressing that the commission remains committed to delivering a transparent and impartial election.
Reports quoted Omoseyindemi as saying that INEC had resolved all logistical challenges and put adequate measures in place to ensure the timely deployment of personnel and election materials across the state.
He also highlighted the close collaboration between INEC and security agencies through the Inter-Agency Consultative Committee on Election Security (ICCES), noting that the partnership is aimed at guaranteeing a peaceful and secure voting environment.
The REC further disclosed that the INEC Result Viewing Portal (IReV) would be deployed during the election to enhance transparency by enabling real-time upload and public viewing of polling unit results.
Meanwhile, a coalition of civil society organisations monitoring the election under the European Union Support to democratic governance in Nigeria (EU-SDGN) Election Observation Hub has expressed concern over reports of voter inducement, political intimidation and disinformation ahead of the poll.
At a pre-election press conference, the group alleged that incidents of vote-buying involving cash, food items, and the collection of Permanent Voter Card (PVC) and National Identification Number (NIN) details through pre-funded bank accounts had been reported in parts of Irepodun/Ifelodun, Ikole, Ikere, Ekiti East and Ekiti West local government areas.
The observers also raised concerns over the spread of misinformation on social media, including unverified claims regarding the use of cloned PVCs to manipulate election outcomes.
While describing the overall security situation in the State as largely peaceful, the coalition urged political parties, candidates and their supporters to refrain from vote-buying, intimidation and the dissemination of false information.
The group also called on security agencies to remain professional and neutral throughout the electoral process, while encouraging voters to exercise their democratic rights freely and without fear, coercion or inducement.
The 2026 Ekiti State governorship election will hold on Saturday, June 20, across the state’s 16 local government areas, with more than one million registered voters expected to decide whether Governor Biodun Oyebanji secures a second term or a new leader emerges.
According to INEC, a total of 1,059,360 registered voters are eligible to participate in the election, which will be conducted across 2,445 polling units located in 177 wards. Voting is scheduled to commence at 8:30 a.m.
Authorities have also announced a statewide restriction on vehicular movement from midnight until 6:00 p.m. on election day to facilitate the smooth conduct of the exercise.
Although 14 candidates are contesting the election, with Governor Biodun Oyebanji of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Oluwole Oluyede of the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP), and Dare Bejide of the African Democratic Congress (ADC) as the leading contenders.
INEC has confirmed the distribution of sensitive election materials to local government areas and assured voters of the readiness of the Bimodal Voter Accreditation System (BVAS).
Security agencies have also deployed personnel and operational assets across the state, particularly in border communities and other strategic locations, to maintain law and order throughout the electoral process.
Civil society organisations monitoring the election have urged residents to participate peacefully and responsibly, emphasising the importance of safeguarding the integrity of the democratic process.
Nigeria’s former Minister of Petroleum Resources, Mrs. Diezani Alison-Madueke, has reacted to her acquittal by a London court after bribery charges brought against her were dismissed.
The Southwark Crown Court in London, United Kingdom, on Wednesday acquitted the former minister of all charges, including five counts of accepting bribes and one count of conspiracy to commit bribery.
Reacting to the judgment, Alison-Madueke expressed relief and said she and her family had endured years of emotional distress over the case.
Speaking to News Central, she said she has remained in the United Kingdom since the legal proceedings began 11 years ago.
She said: “I’m just thankful to God, it’s been arduous, almost 11 years. It’s been traumatic not just for me but for my family, friends, my 93-year-old mother in Port Harcourt and for my son.
“It has been a hard journey, but I tell you this, God will always do as He will. God will be God and God is not a man that He should lie; when He promises you something, He will see it through.
“For almost 11 years I have been here. I did my job to the best of my ability.”
