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Food for Living: Be Intentional in Carrying Your Cross
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Cross is a word that means several things to several people. For Christians, apart from serving as symbol of their faith, it refers to the agony Jesus Christ had to experience for the salvation of mankind. For a married couple, it refers to their partner’s excesses. For a grown man, it means the various endeavours required to provide for the family. For the woman, it can mean carrying a child for nine months, while for parents, it can be training and providing for their children, and for business people, it means developing, investing and growing their businesses. For employees on the other hand, it means doing the needful for the collective growth of the firm. On a general note, cross can refer to the burden or process one has to bear or undergo to be successful.
What therefore, is your cross? Yes, there’s no human being on earth without a cross. The crosses we carry however, vary. Cross is like pain. We all experience it differently. Just like it’s usually said in some social parlance, one man’s meat is another’s poison. Someone’s pain might be someone’s gain, and what might appear heavy for someone might be fun for another.
We can easily juxtapose the case of a wealthy man without a child with a poor man with children. They want what the other doesn’t have. Another scenario is where someone with enough wealth, but the children are not responsive to tutelage. Now contrast that to a case where someone might have just one or two children who are very responsible, but does not have money to support their needs and training.
Another scenario is where a student might have money, but lacks understanding to pass a subject unlike another student who might be poor, but he’s extremely intelligent. I can go on and on, but as a sage would say, a word is enough for the wise.
In the journey of life, everyone carries a cross at a particular point in time. This cross appears in various stages. The newly born child must undergo the process of crawling, walking and running. At each stage, the child carried a cross. In the same way, when the child is two years, the interest of the child changes. And it is when he becomes four years, six years, eight years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, 35 years, 40 years 50 years and 60 years, and continues to change as the years add. A closer look will explain that the child will definitely carry a cross at each stage of their life until they leave this world. The cross never ends, it just changes.
The same principle is applicable to relationships. During dating or courtship, the way partners relate is quite different from when they are married. When they are married, their love language hits different, and when the kids begin to come in, it’s a different story. When their marriage hits five, 10, 15, 20, and 30 years, it’s a different ball game entirely. The interesting thing here is that, what ordinarily might not be a problem during their first three years might threaten their marriage in five or ten years because the cross they carry has shifted.
Everyone has a cross irrespective if the profession or leaning. I call this cross “secret frustration”. What makes the ultimate difference is how we manage the pain or frustration. If the pain, challenge or cross is properly managed, one will not appear burnt, however, if the pain takes a toil on you, one will pay the price and if not properly managed it can have an adverse repercussion.
Furthermore, carrying one’s cross involves carrying one’s responsibility and vision. Nobody will carry it for you. Imagine, having a vision and giving it to someone else, nobody will carry your vision for you, neither will anyone do the work for you.
In my personal experience in life, I have always searched for men who can pour into me whether financially, academically, mentally, spiritually and health-wise. One may wonder what I gained during the period, I was disappointed on several occasions. It was the moment I realized my life and success was entirely in my hands, I became intentional in carrying my cross and results began to trickle in. The moral of my experience is that nobody will save you, you must save yourself. The best anybody can do is to assist you to save you.
One of the surprising things I have discovered when people carry their crosses is that others appear to be spectators; they observe with reservation to see how life will unfold for you. By the time one succeeds, these observers appear like flies to grab their own share of largesse they didn’t invest in. Suddenly, they become entitled to your hard-earned money and opportunities which they didn’t contribute to making. As one of my mentors will say, you are allowed to do the work, but you are not permitted to eat alone. These sets of ignorant minds fail to understand the importance of taking risks, sacrificing and building strategic relationships. These are the strong pillars which separate an ordinary mind from an extraordinary man.
The moral of this analysis is that the extra-ordinary man was intentional in carrying his cross by taking strategic risks, experiencing failures and building and investing in strategic relationships which culminated to their success, but the ordinary man was merely concerned in staying in their comfort zones.
It’s instructive to note that it’s not easy for anyone; everyone is dealing with something. Sometimes, people make foolish mistakes and take poor decisions which cause them a fortune and they expect someone who they consider as a Lamb of God to take away their sins, but life doesn’t work that way. If you ask someone for assistance and they say they can’t afford it, please don’t be mad, because if you can, you wouldn’t ask them.
In conclusion, I don’t know what your situation is, but I’m here to tell you, your cross is valid, and your cross will not only design your destiny, but it will unleash your destiny which will ultimately set you apart. So, don’t be hard on yourself when you are carrying your cross, it’s part of life’s journey and process to fashion and unleash you to the world.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Minister of Police Affairs, Ibrahim Gaidam, has expressed deep satisfaction with the conduct of the ongoing recruitment exercises for its orderly and transparent nature across the country.
He made the commendation, according to a statement made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP), while receiving feedback from filed officers across the country and described the process as not just a routine exercise, but a critical step toward rebuilding public trust and enhancing the operational capacity of the Nigeria Police Force.
The Minister urged all participants to remain law-abiding, disciplined, and patient throughout the screening process. He emphasized that integrity and respect for due process are as important as physical and academic qualifications, noting that the future of policing in Nigeria depends largely on the character and commitment of those who wear the uniform.
“This is more than recruitment; it is a call to national service,” he stated. “Nigeria needs men and women of honor, individuals who understand that security is the foundation upon which development and prosperity are built.” Gaidam stressed.
The Minister also extended heartfelt appreciation to the administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu GCFR for its bold and strategic approval of the recruitment of 50,000 police personnel.
He stressed that the unprecedented move demonstrates a clear resolve to address longstanding gaps in manpower while repositioning the Police Force to meet modern security challenges, just as he noted that beyond numbers, the current administration is focused on meaningful reform—transforming policing into a more professional, accountable, and citizen-centered institution.
Gaidam stated that from improved training frameworks to enhanced welfare and operational support, the reform agenda signals a new era for law enforcement in Nigeria.
The Minister noted that the ongoing recruitment exercise, therefore, stands as a symbol of renewed hope—a bridge between the present challenges and a future where communities feel safer, justice is more accessible, and the rule of law is upheld without compromise.
As the screening continues across the nation, the Minister called on all stakeholders—traditional leaders, community members, and institutions, to support the process and encourage eligible youths to participate with sincerity and patriotism.
“Nigeria’s path to a safer, more secure future is being steadily strengthened through deliberate reforms and renewed commitment to nation-building noting that at the heart of this progress is the ongoing nationwide police recruitment screening exercise, an initiative that reflects both hope and responsibility for thousands of young Nigerians,” the Minister concluded.
Presidential spokesperson, Mr. Bayo Onanuga, has launched a scathing attack on Rauf Aregbesola following the latter’s criticism of President Bola Tinubu’s administration.
The exchange comes hours after Aregbesola, while speaking at the convention of the African Democratic Congress (ADC) on Tuesday, described the Tinubu administration as a government of “scammers”, urging Nigerians to block it from retaining power after the 2027 general elections.
“If allowed, this regime will continue to chant renewed hope till eternity. We have a duty to stop these scammers from retaining power,” Aregbesola said.
In a swift response, Onanuga dismissed the remarks and accused the former Governor of Osun State of hypocrisy and poor performance during his time in office.
“My attention has been drawn to Rauf Aregbesola’s attack on the Tinubu administration at today’s illegal elective convention of the ADC — a party of desperados and power mongers who, to date, have not articulated any credible plan for Nigeria,” he said.
Onanuga further criticised Aregbesola for failing to reflect on his own record before attacking his “former boss and benefactor.”
“Unfortunately, Aregbesola did not undertake any honest self-reflection on his own record in public office — as governor or as Minister of Interior,” he stated.
He alleged that Aregbesola’s tenure as governor of Osun State was marked by hardship and poor economic management.
“His eight years as governor of Osun State were characterised by unmitigated hardship for the people. Under his half-baked socialist policies, civil servants went unpaid for months, and those who were paid received only a fraction of their salaries,” Onanuga said.
“It is to Aregbesola’s infamy that Osun became known as a State receiving negative federal allocation and paying just 20 to 30 per cent of normal salaries. It was worse for pensioners in Aregbesola’s Osun State. Many pensioners who relied on their meagre monthly payments died because they were not paid at all.”
Turning to Aregbesola’s tenure as Minister of Interior under former President Muhammadu Buhari, Onanuga said it recorded major security lapses.
“As Minister of Interior under President Muhammadu Buhari, his tenure witnessed the highest number of jailbreaks in Nigeria’s history — including the infamous Kuje Prison escape in Abuja,” he said.
“During his four years, obtaining a Nigerian passport became a nightmarish process, and there were 15 major attacks on correctional facilities in Jos, Abolongo, Imo, Kabba, and Okitipupa, resulting in over 4,000 inmates escaping to join criminal elements.”
Onanuga added, “For someone who failed so woefully to secure our correctional centres and uphold his duties between 2019 and 2023, it is ironic that Aregbesola now seeks to lecture others on insecurity.”
He further accused Aregbesola and other ADC leaders of lacking credible policy alternatives stating, “The real scammers are the politicians inside the SPV called ADC.”
Defending the current administration, Onanuga said the government had acknowledged challenges arising from reforms but was implementing measures to mitigate their impact.
“The Tinubu administration has never shied away from acknowledging that policy reforms have brought unintended consequences, impacting the most vulnerable,” he said, adding that efforts such as wage increases, social support programmes, and economic reforms were underway.
He insisted that the administration’s Renewed Hope Agenda was yielding results, including improved economic indicators and increased investor confidence.
“The Renewed Hope Agenda is not a scam,” Onanuga said, maintaining that the government would continue its policies to stabilise the economy and address security challenges.
Senator representing Borno South Senatorial District, Ali Ndume, has argued that Nigeria’s lingering insecurity could be decisively tackled within six months if the Federal government demonstrates sufficient commitment.
Ndume stated this on Monday during an interview on Channels Television’s Politics Today programme, where he expressed concern over the recent escalation of violence, particularly in the North-East.
The lawmaker stressed that beyond complaints, what is required is decisive action and political will.
“It is not about complaining. It is not about asking somebody like me as a senator to say why these things. I always believe that if the President and the Federal Government of Nigeria are serious about this, we can end this thing (insecurity) in six months.
“All we need is to train our soldiers, equip them, arm them very well, and then motivate them,” Ndume said.
The senator lamented the continued loss of military personnel, including senior officers, noting that such incidents highlight deeper operational challenges.
“After killing their commanders, they now come back to kill our commanders and they are still taking about five, six, or even seven. Even today, around Northern Borno, we lost a colonel, I understand, with some soldiers. This should not continue. This is now the problem,” he said.
Ndume also attributed the worsening security situation to inconsistent and incomplete implementation of security strategies.
“The escalating security situation has really been enhanced by the challenge and the threat, and the actions that have been taken that have never been completely done. We have to be very serious about this matter; we have to walk the talk.”
Speaking on the issue of foreign support, the lawmaker emphasised the need for intelligence, technology, and specialised expertise rather than relying on external forces.
“What we need is intelligence. What we need is air support. We also need the expertise of those that are specialists. We even have some that were trained outside, special forces. We have capable hands already on the ground; all they need is equipment, ammunition, and motivation.
“We do not have enough drones. Look at what Burkina Faso is doing, it is technology. We can use technology to finish or minimise these things within the shortest possible time. If you deploy drones and have trained people to operate them, with proper command centres, we can achieve results,” he said.
The Borno South senator further noted that Borno State would have suffered greater devastation without the efforts of Governor Babagana Zulum and commended his interventions in stabilising parts of the State.
Ndume’s comments come amid renewed security concerns in the North-East and across Nigeria.
A recent airstrike at Jilli Market along the Yobe–Borno border on Saturday has come under scrutiny over reported civilian casualties.
The Nigerian Air Force said the strike targeted suspected Boko Haram insurgents and that it is investigating reported civilian casualties.
While casualty figures remain unclear, several deaths and injuries were reported, with victims receiving treatment in nearby facilities.
The incident also followed a deadly attack on Thursday on a military formation in Benisheikh, where troops repelled insurgents but suffered casualties.
Security challenges, including banditry, kidnappings, and communal clashes, persist nationwide.
Meanwhile, President Bola Tinubu, during a recent visit to Bayelsa State, reaffirmed his administration’s commitment to strengthening Nigeria’s security architecture.
Earlier, the United States Department of State had issued travel advisories and begun reducing its staff presence in Abuja. Federal government, however, described it as a routine precaution and not a reflection the country’s security situation.
