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Food for Living: Be Yourself
Greetings Friends,
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken – Oscar Wilde
One of the most difficult task in the world is discovering oneself. Discovering oneself can be very challenging because as human beings, we are always evolving. In my first published book “Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright To Success”, which centers on self-discovery, I wrote about: “Understanding Your Uniqueness” in chapter two and stressed that everyone is unique and wired to function differently.
As mentioned earlier, discovering yourself can be very challenging because you’ll be constantly asking yourself: Who am I? What do I want? What am I here for? If you are able to answer these questions, you can confidently say to yourself you know yourself. If no, I will strongly recommend you consider answering them for a better understanding of your life and business in general.
Being yourself is not limited to humanity alone, it also relates to engaging with life generally. For instance, if you want to venture into business, fashion, entertainment, sports, academic, or even being an artisan worker, you have to figure out a way which best suits your personality., otherwise you may be setting up yourself for failure. It’s quite unfortunate many people try to imitate and compare themselves to other people. This lifestyle doesn’t add up because it only comes with a temporary success if at all you will succeed. When you concentrate your energy on what you are naturally good and talented at, you have greater opportunities of producing excellent results.
In our contemporary society, there’s so much competition everywhere among individuals, businesses, churches, and work environments. Everyone is trying to outsmart the other party or business just to remain the number one in the position. It’s instructive to note this is not a healthy lifestyle. This lifestyle is not limited to business alone, even job applicants are not left out. Amidst all this competition and depending on what you are looking out for, the best and surest way to stand out is by being yourself and showcasing what’s unique about you. Let’s say you have the passion to engage in business, your ability to know what kind of product/service to venture into in addition to knowing what best for you gives you an edge above your competitors. Most people venture into a business just because they see it is flourishing or their friends are thriving in it. They didn’t take their time to research or even learn the skill neither did they consider knowing if it’s something they are passionate or wired to do. Your ability to create a niche for yourself will go a long way in defining your path in life.
Let’s share some practical examples of how you can be yourself
Don’t compare yourself to others:
This is the fastest way to not only fail in life but also lose value. Comparing yourself to another person or comparing your business to another business is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone. Don’t me get it twisted, competition and comparison are good if only it is a healthy one. You can learn from the person or the business just to see how they were able to succeed, but not trying to imitate their style. When you are the original version of yourself, there’s an uncommon brand and style you bring to the table that makes you unique.
Focus on your growth and ignore what people say
You need to come to the reality that in life, people will doubt your motives and question your authenticity, but that shouldn’t deter you from moving ahead. It is because the philosopher was too busy focusing on the mountain that’s ahead of him that he forgot to see the ditch that was in front of him and he fell into it. Stop caring about how people perceive you. Some of them will like you and some of them won’t. It is normal for individuals who have been a part of your life to use older versions of you as a reference, which might be discouraging considering the massive gap between who you were and who you want to be. Again, that shouldn’t bother you from becoming you who are trying to become.
Express your individuality
You can’t be anyone and no one can be you. Even two identical twins are not the same being. Originality and simplicity is the beauty of life. We live in a world where everyone wants you to conform to a particular standard or lifestyle. Your ability to differentiate yourself is very critical to your success. There’s something unique and special about you. As you grow more and more confident about what makes you a unique individual, you should find outlets that validate these characteristics. When you do, the onus is on you to exercise it and put yourself to test.
Stand up for your values
We all have values. Our values are what separates us from everyone. It should be noted that if you don’t stand for anything, you’ll fall for anything. Your values are what defines you. Every company/business has a value system. You can call the values vision because it embodies the aims and objectives of the organization. It’s not just your hobbies and your personality that makeup who you are. The things you stand for significantly reflect your identity. Even staying silent about specific controversies say a lot about you as a person, so choose your battles conscientiously. Be confident in who you are becoming: As you become more comfortable in your skin, you will face detractors who will challenge everything about you.
Quit Pleasing People
Always wanting everyone’s love and respect is a totally pointless exercise, in the end that can harm your personal development and confidence. Who cares what other people say? As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” . What matters most is that you listen to your own inner confidence and if it’s missing, you need to start developing it. The best way to quit pleasing people is by loving and appreciating yourself. Self-love is priceless! It is very normal for people to talk about you. If no one talks about you, it is either because you are not doing anything or you are nothing. However, that shouldn’t be your focus, your energy and attention should be how to better yourself and your business. According to Aristotle, the only way to avoid criticism is say nothing, do nothing and be nothing.
As long as you are a living being, human beings will talk about you. So, what’s the way forward? Be yourself. Remember, you have just one life to live and it’s not a borrowed life, so be happy with yourself and enjoy it while it lasts….
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
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Impeached Lagos Assembly Speaker Boasts, Says I’m Still in Charge
Impeached Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Mudashiru Obasa, has described the corruption allegations against him as “fictitious and unsubstantiated”.
Speaking during a welcome rally at his residence in GRA, Ikeja on Saturday, Obasa maintained that he was not afraid of being impeached but emphasised that due process was not followed.
The former Speaker alleged that his removal was orchestrated while he was away, and accused the state commissioner of police of aiding the process.
He claimed security agents, led by the police commissioner, invaded the assembly complex and his homes in Agege and Ikeja, locking his family indoors with over 200 officers present.
Obasa dismissed allegations of misappropriation.
He mocked claims that a gate construction had cost N16 billion, saying, “Is it the wall of Jericho?”
He said: “I am not afraid of being removed, after all, it is not my father’s chieftaincy title. I am representing my people and they have returned me six times. If you want to do anything, do it well.
“They did the removal all because I was out of the country. Lagos is a special place, we cannot denigrate the state.
The former Speaker cited the case of the former speaker, Rt. Hon Jokotola Pelumi.
He said when Pelumi was removed, he was in the assembly and “we did not invite policemen.
“When my sister, former deputy speaker of the House, Hon. Adefunmilayo Tejuosho was removed, we did not invite the police.”
Obasa said an innocent person should not be discredited, and there must be proof of allegations showing exactly what he has done.
“The Lagos State House of Assembly is above common standard of excellence.
“I appreciate the members of the governance advisory council and Governor Babajide Olusola Aanwo-Olu of the state. He is my brother and he always calls me his younger brother.”
Obasa was impeached on January 13 by more than two-thirds of the 40-member legislative house over alleged misconduct and sundry offences.
His Deputy, Mojisola Meranda, was immediately elected the new speaker, becoming the first female to take charge of the legislative body in the State.
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FAAN Confirms 38 Injured in United Airlines’ Emergency Landing in Lagos
The Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) has confirmed that 38 persons, including seven crew members, were injured when a United Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Lagos on Friday morning.
The Boeing 787-8 flight with 245 passengers was en route to Washington Dulles International Airport (IAD), in the United States, from the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos, when it developed problems midair and was forced to return to the airport.
There were also 11 crew members – eight attendants and three pilots – on the plane.
The FAAN Director of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection, Obiageli Orah, who confirmed the incident through a statement, said all passengers and crew disembarked safely.
She, however, said four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries.
According to her, 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
The statement read: “The United Airlines Boeing 787-800 departed Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), Ikeja, at 11:59pm on Thursday, but made air return and landed safely at 3.22am on Friday.
“On board were 245 adults and 11 crew members.
“The team of Aerodrome Rescue and Fire Fighting Services, Aviation Medical, and Aviation Security were already at the gate when the aeroplane parked for deboarding at D31 without incident, and the door was opened at 3:37am.
“While all passengers and crew disembarked safely, four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries, and an additional 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
“The rescue team responded swiftly and effectively, having been on alert and standby.
“Aviation medical ambulances transported the injured passengers, some to the MMA Clinic and others to the headquarters clinic.”
News
Food for Living: The Insatiable Nature of Man
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com