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Food for Living: Benefits of Failing
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Destiny Friends,
There is nothing that pleases someone more than success, and there’s nothing that humbles one more than failure. You may be wondering if there is anything more painful than failure. Yes, regret will cause more pain than failure. Failure will give you ways to succeed. Regret will give you compounding regrets. The fear of failure often stems from a fear of experiencing shame or embarrassment.
In the journey of life, we all strive to succeed, but when our wishes, aspirations, desires, and hard work don’t pay off, we tend to feel disappointed. But what we fail to understand is that failure can be a blessing in disguise. There’s no doubt, failure can make you feel demoralized, helpless, hopeless, and anxious (both consciously and unconsciously) but you can always fight back.
Each of us have experienced failure in one way or another. Sometimes when we fail, we feel the world is conspiring against us. The moment that you realize that failure is not limited to you; you can motivate yourself to get up faster.
Failure means different things to different people. You can fail in business, marriage, academics, entertainment, personally or professionally. Failure can also mean a first attempt in learning. Failure is like a relationship. It is heartbreaking When there’s a heart break; it takes time to heal, both emotionally and otherwise. Getting over a failed relationship is heartbreaking.
Failure comes in different shapes and sizes. According to Edmondson, there are three kinds of failure
· Preventable failure: a failure caused by deviating from a known process.
· Complex failure: a failure caused by a system breakdown.
· Intelligent failure: a failure caused by an unsuccessful trial.
The process of success is normally associated with first trial, then failure before you eventually succeed. One of the major causes of failure is lack of preparation and perseverance.
That you failed doesn’t mean you are a failure, it simply means you have not done what you are supposed to do, or you are missing something. Most of the great men and women that have succeeded are ‘great failures’. They failed many times before they succeeded.
You can’t let your failures define you. A major mistake most people make in life is that they easily give up at the first or second attempt, some other people let failures define them, but, you don’t have to let your mistakes define you. According to former American President, Barack Obama, “You have to let your failures teach you.”
Did you know that there are many lessons we can learn from failure? For instance, your mistakes can help push your boundaries. Mistakes are necessary for our success, if you are not making any mistakes, that simply means you are not doing anything interesting.
Again, if you’re not failing, you might be operating out of fear. Most people fail due to fear. Finally, if you’re not failing, you’re missing opportunities. The fear of failing can be a deciding factor for a progressive to take risks.
Again, President Obama noted that being successful is hard. You won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice”.
According to Brian Tracy, failure is a prerequisite for great success, if you want to succeed, double your rate of failure. You must come to terms that there is no success without failure. Most of the successful people in the world are the ones who have had the most failure. J. k Rowling who wrote Harry Potter, her first book was rejected 12 times because it was published. These people succeeded because they understood that you can’t let failure define you.
Failure comes in several stages, first it comes in the form of shock and surprise, then denial, anger and blame, depression, acceptance and then insight and change. To overcome failure, I will be sharing tips you can adopt. The first step in handling failure is knowing the true cause of a failure and how to overcome it. The second stage is by admitting the mistake. Failure does not mean your life is going to be over. You can learn from failure and be constructive. Whenever you fail, find inspiration and don’t give up. Be passionate about your cause and vision and surround yourself with positive people.
The best thing that you can do each time you fail is to learn from your mistakes. If you screwed up, don’t let that be your excuse to give up. Let your screw up be your motivation to try once again, and this time without making the same mistake.
Create a positive mindset:
Very few people understand the power of the mind. When you fail you need to make a conscious decision to be positive rather than miserable. If you do choose to be miserable, it will be much harder to get back up from your failure. However, if you cultivate a positive mindset, then you can move on from each failure without losing your enthusiasm and drive. If you do choose to be miserable, it will be much harder to get back up from your failure. However, if you cultivate a positive mindset, then you can move on from each failure without losing your enthusiasm and drive.
Tap Into Your Mentor(s)
Whenever you fail, get inspired by your mentors. We all have mentors, whether they are athletes, inventors, academics, entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, actors, politicians (joking), humanitarians, or authors. These people have been in the same position as us, and they can serve as a great inspiration during the tough times. So, when you are in the midst of failure; read about them, listen to them, and watch them. Find out what they did to overcome their hardships and apply that to your situation.
Celebrate little wins
Whenever you fail, before you judge yourself, write a list of your success. Sometimes we feel we are worthless when we fail. To combat this feeling, you need to write down a list of all the times that you succeeded.
In conclusion, Failure is rough, tough, and painful; however, it goes hand in hand with success. The way you handle your failure will determine if you succeed, and the tips above should help you cope with failure when it comes your way.
Here are a few quotes to keep you inspired if you feel like giving up.
“If I’ve learned one lesson from all that’s happened to me, it’s that there’s no such thing as the biggest mistake of your existence. There’s no such thing as ruining your life. Life’s a pretty resilient thing, it turns out.” -Sophie Kinsella
“You don’t drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there.” -Robert Jordan
“It’s failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.” – Ellen DeGeneres
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” – Henry Ford
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie
“I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.” -Tom Hopkins
“Do not ignore your failures, acknowledge them and use them to motivate you.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” -Joseph Kennedy
Henry Ukazu writes from New New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success
Impeached Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Mudashiru Obasa, has described the corruption allegations against him as “fictitious and unsubstantiated”.
Speaking during a welcome rally at his residence in GRA, Ikeja on Saturday, Obasa maintained that he was not afraid of being impeached but emphasised that due process was not followed.
The former Speaker alleged that his removal was orchestrated while he was away, and accused the state commissioner of police of aiding the process.
He claimed security agents, led by the police commissioner, invaded the assembly complex and his homes in Agege and Ikeja, locking his family indoors with over 200 officers present.
Obasa dismissed allegations of misappropriation.
He mocked claims that a gate construction had cost N16 billion, saying, “Is it the wall of Jericho?”
He said: “I am not afraid of being removed, after all, it is not my father’s chieftaincy title. I am representing my people and they have returned me six times. If you want to do anything, do it well.
“They did the removal all because I was out of the country. Lagos is a special place, we cannot denigrate the state.
The former Speaker cited the case of the former speaker, Rt. Hon Jokotola Pelumi.
He said when Pelumi was removed, he was in the assembly and “we did not invite policemen.
“When my sister, former deputy speaker of the House, Hon. Adefunmilayo Tejuosho was removed, we did not invite the police.”
Obasa said an innocent person should not be discredited, and there must be proof of allegations showing exactly what he has done.
“The Lagos State House of Assembly is above common standard of excellence.
“I appreciate the members of the governance advisory council and Governor Babajide Olusola Aanwo-Olu of the state. He is my brother and he always calls me his younger brother.”
Obasa was impeached on January 13 by more than two-thirds of the 40-member legislative house over alleged misconduct and sundry offences.
His Deputy, Mojisola Meranda, was immediately elected the new speaker, becoming the first female to take charge of the legislative body in the State.
The Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) has confirmed that 38 persons, including seven crew members, were injured when a United Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Lagos on Friday morning.
The Boeing 787-8 flight with 245 passengers was en route to Washington Dulles International Airport (IAD), in the United States, from the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos, when it developed problems midair and was forced to return to the airport.
There were also 11 crew members – eight attendants and three pilots – on the plane.
The FAAN Director of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection, Obiageli Orah, who confirmed the incident through a statement, said all passengers and crew disembarked safely.
She, however, said four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries.
According to her, 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
The statement read: “The United Airlines Boeing 787-800 departed Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), Ikeja, at 11:59pm on Thursday, but made air return and landed safely at 3.22am on Friday.
“On board were 245 adults and 11 crew members.
“The team of Aerodrome Rescue and Fire Fighting Services, Aviation Medical, and Aviation Security were already at the gate when the aeroplane parked for deboarding at D31 without incident, and the door was opened at 3:37am.
“While all passengers and crew disembarked safely, four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries, and an additional 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
“The rescue team responded swiftly and effectively, having been on alert and standby.
“Aviation medical ambulances transported the injured passengers, some to the MMA Clinic and others to the headquarters clinic.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
