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Food for Living: Benefits of Failing
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Destiny Friends,
There is nothing that pleases someone more than success, and there’s nothing that humbles one more than failure. You may be wondering if there is anything more painful than failure. Yes, regret will cause more pain than failure. Failure will give you ways to succeed. Regret will give you compounding regrets. The fear of failure often stems from a fear of experiencing shame or embarrassment.
In the journey of life, we all strive to succeed, but when our wishes, aspirations, desires, and hard work don’t pay off, we tend to feel disappointed. But what we fail to understand is that failure can be a blessing in disguise. There’s no doubt, failure can make you feel demoralized, helpless, hopeless, and anxious (both consciously and unconsciously) but you can always fight back.
Each of us have experienced failure in one way or another. Sometimes when we fail, we feel the world is conspiring against us. The moment that you realize that failure is not limited to you; you can motivate yourself to get up faster.
Failure means different things to different people. You can fail in business, marriage, academics, entertainment, personally or professionally. Failure can also mean a first attempt in learning. Failure is like a relationship. It is heartbreaking When there’s a heart break; it takes time to heal, both emotionally and otherwise. Getting over a failed relationship is heartbreaking.
Failure comes in different shapes and sizes. According to Edmondson, there are three kinds of failure
· Preventable failure: a failure caused by deviating from a known process.
· Complex failure: a failure caused by a system breakdown.
· Intelligent failure: a failure caused by an unsuccessful trial.
The process of success is normally associated with first trial, then failure before you eventually succeed. One of the major causes of failure is lack of preparation and perseverance.
That you failed doesn’t mean you are a failure, it simply means you have not done what you are supposed to do, or you are missing something. Most of the great men and women that have succeeded are ‘great failures’. They failed many times before they succeeded.
You can’t let your failures define you. A major mistake most people make in life is that they easily give up at the first or second attempt, some other people let failures define them, but, you don’t have to let your mistakes define you. According to former American President, Barack Obama, “You have to let your failures teach you.”
Did you know that there are many lessons we can learn from failure? For instance, your mistakes can help push your boundaries. Mistakes are necessary for our success, if you are not making any mistakes, that simply means you are not doing anything interesting.
Again, if you’re not failing, you might be operating out of fear. Most people fail due to fear. Finally, if you’re not failing, you’re missing opportunities. The fear of failing can be a deciding factor for a progressive to take risks.
Again, President Obama noted that being successful is hard. You won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice”.
According to Brian Tracy, failure is a prerequisite for great success, if you want to succeed, double your rate of failure. You must come to terms that there is no success without failure. Most of the successful people in the world are the ones who have had the most failure. J. k Rowling who wrote Harry Potter, her first book was rejected 12 times because it was published. These people succeeded because they understood that you can’t let failure define you.
Failure comes in several stages, first it comes in the form of shock and surprise, then denial, anger and blame, depression, acceptance and then insight and change. To overcome failure, I will be sharing tips you can adopt. The first step in handling failure is knowing the true cause of a failure and how to overcome it. The second stage is by admitting the mistake. Failure does not mean your life is going to be over. You can learn from failure and be constructive. Whenever you fail, find inspiration and don’t give up. Be passionate about your cause and vision and surround yourself with positive people.
The best thing that you can do each time you fail is to learn from your mistakes. If you screwed up, don’t let that be your excuse to give up. Let your screw up be your motivation to try once again, and this time without making the same mistake.
Create a positive mindset:
Very few people understand the power of the mind. When you fail you need to make a conscious decision to be positive rather than miserable. If you do choose to be miserable, it will be much harder to get back up from your failure. However, if you cultivate a positive mindset, then you can move on from each failure without losing your enthusiasm and drive. If you do choose to be miserable, it will be much harder to get back up from your failure. However, if you cultivate a positive mindset, then you can move on from each failure without losing your enthusiasm and drive.
Tap Into Your Mentor(s)
Whenever you fail, get inspired by your mentors. We all have mentors, whether they are athletes, inventors, academics, entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, actors, politicians (joking), humanitarians, or authors. These people have been in the same position as us, and they can serve as a great inspiration during the tough times. So, when you are in the midst of failure; read about them, listen to them, and watch them. Find out what they did to overcome their hardships and apply that to your situation.
Celebrate little wins
Whenever you fail, before you judge yourself, write a list of your success. Sometimes we feel we are worthless when we fail. To combat this feeling, you need to write down a list of all the times that you succeeded.
In conclusion, Failure is rough, tough, and painful; however, it goes hand in hand with success. The way you handle your failure will determine if you succeed, and the tips above should help you cope with failure when it comes your way.
Here are a few quotes to keep you inspired if you feel like giving up.
“If I’ve learned one lesson from all that’s happened to me, it’s that there’s no such thing as the biggest mistake of your existence. There’s no such thing as ruining your life. Life’s a pretty resilient thing, it turns out.” -Sophie Kinsella
“You don’t drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there.” -Robert Jordan
“It’s failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.” – Ellen DeGeneres
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” – Henry Ford
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie
“I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.” -Tom Hopkins
“Do not ignore your failures, acknowledge them and use them to motivate you.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” -Joseph Kennedy
Henry Ukazu writes from New New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success
Fresh facts have emerged over the abduction of school pupils and the killing of two teachers alongside an okada rider in Ahoro-Esiele, Oriire Local Government Area of Oyo State, as investigators uncovered how suspected informants allegedly maintained communication with the abductors through telephone conversations.
The Oyo State Police Command disclosed that investigators tracked the suspects through calls believed to have been exchanged with the bandits during and after the operation.
According to the police, the conversations allegedly contained details on how the criminals could successfully navigate routes within the National Park to hidden locations used as safe havens.
The breakthrough led to the arrest of no fewer than six suspects, who are currently in police custody and assisting security agencies with ongoing investigations into the gruesome incident.
Confirming the development on Tuesday morning, the State Police Public Relations Officer, CSP Olayinka Ayanlade, said the suspects were apprehended during coordinated security operations across different locations in the State.
“We have six suspects in custody and they are assisting the investigation,” Ayanlade said.
He added that preliminary investigations revealed that the suspects allegedly served as informants to the bandits responsible for the abduction and killings.
“Our findings showed that some of the suspects were in contact with the abductors through telephone conversations and investigators are analysing those communications as part of efforts to uncover the full network behind the crime,” he stated.
Ayanlade further disclosed that security agencies uncovered discussions allegedly centred on routes through the National Park and locations believed to have been used by the criminals as hideouts.
“The conversations contained information on how the abductors could move through the National Park undetected and reach safe locations,” he added.
The police spokesman explained that the suspects were arrested during joint operations involving the Nigerian Army, the Nigeria Police Force, the Western Nigeria Security Network codenamed Amotekun, the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC), and Agro-Rangers.
“The arrests were made possible through intelligence-driven operations carried out by joint security operatives working collaboratively to dismantle the criminal network,” Ayanlade said.
He assured residents that security agencies were intensifying efforts to apprehend other fleeing members of the syndicate linked to the attack.
“We are committed to ensuring that every individual connected to this criminal act is identified, arrested and brought to justice. Investigations are still ongoing,” he said.
The incident, which claimed the lives of two teachers and an Okada rider while school pupils were abducted last Friday, has continued to generate concern among residents of the affected communities and neighbouring areas in Oyo State.
Governor of Oyo State, Seyi Makinde, has confirmed that one of the teachers abducted during the recent terrorist attack on schools in Oriire LGA of the state, has been killed in captivity.
Speaking on Sunday during a press briefing on the incident, Makinde described the situation as “difficult and challenging”, saying the state government is intensifying efforts to rescue the remaining victims.
On Friday, gunmen riding motorcycles invaded communities within the Ahoro-Esiele/Yawota axis of Oriire, Ogbomoso, and abducted students and staff members of Community High School, Ahoro-Esiele, L.A. Primary School, Esiele, and Yawota Baptist Nursery and Primary School.
The attack left an assistant headmaster, identified as Joel Adesiyan, and a commercial motorcyclist dead.
According to Makinde, a video received by the state government confirmed the killing of one of the abductees identified as a mathematics teacher.
“What we know is that seven teachers in all were abducted and unfortunately, we got a video this morning that one of the teachers, the maths teacher, was killed by the terrorists this morning,” Makinde said.
Authorities have yet to confirm the exact number of schoolchildren abducted.
In the aftermath of the incident, videos recorded from captivity began circulating on social media, showing abducted teachers pleading with the government and Nigerians for urgent intervention.
One of the viral videos featured Rachael Alamu, principal of Community High School, Esiele, appealing to the government to help secure the release of the victims before they are killed.
Makinde detailed that six persons had been arrested within the affected locality over alleged links to the attackers, and that another three “persons of interest” were also arrested in connection with the attack.
“The information available from the Commissioner of Police is that six individuals have been arrested within the locality. Some of them were believed to perhaps be informants to people running logistics for the terrorists,” he said.
Following the attack, the Oyo Police Command announced the commencement of an intensive manhunt and rescue operation involving multiple security agencies.
Makinde said personnel of the police, military, the Western Nigeria Security Network codenamed Amotekun, and local hunters were mobilised immediately to pursue the attackers.
The governor said, however, some Amotekun operatives sustained injuries after encountering improvised explosive devices planted by the terrorists during the operation.
“After the incident, Amotekun, the police, military and hunters were mobilised to go after the terrorists and it was along that line that they ran into IEDs and some of the Amotekun operatives were wounded,” he said.
Sources told TheCable that the terrorists had initially opened fire on the security operatives who were approaching the Old Oyo national park on motorcycles, causing them to flee.
“When the shooting subsided, the operatives decided to go for their motorbikes. Unfortunately, a dynamite exploded against one Amotekun corps member and he was wounded. He has been taken to the hospital for medical attention,” a source said.
“Apart from air raid, the Old Oyo National Park Area can’t be easily accessed through infantry. It’s a long distance from the Oowe River which forms a natural landmark boundary for the park. Motorcycles would have to be used for the journey, but the noise of the approaching motorcycles alerted the terrorists.”
Makinde linked the attack to increasing pressure being mounted on terrorist groups in the north-east, warning that fleeing armed groups are moving into other parts of the country, including the south-west.
“With the pressure on the terrorists in the north-east theatre, they will keep moving southwards. Today, the governor of Kwara state has spoken to me. But the problem we have is that when you have pressure in one place, we must be prepared on this side to either repel or neutralise any terrorists fleeing the pressure,” he said.
The governor harped on the need for sustained government and security presence in vulnerable communities, warning that temporary military operations without long-term security measures could leave residents exposed to future attacks.
“If all we can do is clearance operations for a week or two and leave that place, the terrorists will come back and the people will become vulnerable,” he said.
He assured residents that the state government would be deploying military and non-military strategies to secure the release of the abducted victims and tackle the growing security threat.
“We have decided that we will adopt not just the kinetic approach. We have not taken this lightly,” he added.
Makinde also appealed for calm and patience from residents, acknowledging the complexity of the operation.
“I want to appeal to everyone that we are doing everything within our power to ensure that this would be resolved quickly and we bring our children back safely, but it is a very difficult and challenging situation so there may not be quick fixes,” he added.
Source: TheCable
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Complaining is part of human nature. We complain about our health, school, family, friends, work, finances, government, and life in general. Human beings literally complain about everything and anything.
Over time, I have come to discover something about life: complaining doesn’t solve a problem; it adds to it. According to the Book of Life, why worry when you can pray? The moral of this statement is that instead of worrying, why not look for solutions? When you worry, it only accumulates the problems, but when you explore avenues to solve a problem, you’re literally praying.
Complaining is like having a problem and apportioning blame to another person instead of fixing it. One of the hallmarks of great minds is the ability to solve problems, while little minds complain.
In the world of visionary leaders, they don’t complain; rather, they see complaints as challenges of life, while lesser minds see complaints as problems of life. Again, while great leaders see problems as a gateway to make money and succeed by proffering solutions, little minds see problems as obstacles limiting their growth to succeed. Same action but different results and consequences.
As human beings, we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we have. It’s only when we appreciate what we have that we give room for opportunities and favors to come to us. It’s unfortunate some of fucus on what we are going through instead of what we are becoming.
It’s instructive to note that complaints don’t lead us anywhere, rather it hinders our progress. Nobody likes complainers; complainers are usually seen as energy suckers because all they do is take without giving. Instead of complaining, why not practice gratitude? Gratitude helps to draw and attract opportunities.
In the world of human relations, the ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. One must learn to nurture relationships. Human beings can be difficult to manage. While some exhibit meekness, gratitude, cheerfulness, and loyalty, some exhibit bitterness, frustration, depression, sadness, and sorrow. What most people don’t know is that we have the ability to change how we manage our lives and how we react to what life throws at us through our attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not insinuating that complaining is wrong; rather, I’m insinuating it’s not healthy for our mental health. The only time we can complain about something is when we are proffering a solution; by so doing, we have highlighted the problems and proffered the solution.
Complaints make us blind to see the good in others. As a word of advice, if you focus exclusively on the shortcomings of the people with whom you have to relate and forget that they have a good point, it will be difficult to see the good in them.
According to Yomi Garnett, focus on the good side of people and be intentional in learning about their mindset and inquire what made them who they are. Also, focusing on the good side of people despite their bad or weak side makes them feel valuable as human beings, and by so doing, we show our empathic personality.
In conclusion, resolve today to stop complaining and start appreciating the challenges of life with gratitude.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
