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Food for Living: Don’t Settle for Less

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By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Friends,

I will like to start today’s article with some positive assertions. The joy of every progressive being is to get to the peak of their career in life. The joy of every young man/woman who wants to go into relationship or tie the marital knots is to get the best love experience ever which is not limited to having a faithful, caring, understanding, peaceful, loyal and loving partner; The joy of every rational person is to get the best out of life no matter what life throws at you. Nobody likes to be disrespected. As a rule of thumb, never you settle for less, especially when you deserve the best. It doesn’t matter if you are searching for a job, or a marriage partner, setting up a business, etc. All that matters is for you to give and demand the best.

During the course of this article, we shall be discussing relationship, job/career, personal living and life in general. It is instructive to know that you don’t have to agree with what you don’t want. A huge part of settling for less is by being a “yes man” or “yes woman”. If you agree to things you don’t really want, you are building a life that doesn’t reflect your own needs and identity.

Marriage/Relationship

This is one of the most interesting journeys every human being must undertake in one way or another. Whether you are dating, or you are already in a relationship or even married, you definitely have a preference for who you are willing to date or spend the rest of your life with. Just like Gary Chapman stated in his book “The Five Love Languages”: Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services, and time as the five love languages. According to him, most human beings respond to one or two of these love languages, so your ability to know what works for a particular being can give you an opportunity to relate closely with the person. It is quite unfortunate that many people don’t know what they need in a relationship, and in life, and this singular factor/act makes them settle for less. You must continually demand what you need and desire in life especially when you are ready to act/measure up with the same expectations. Requesting for more is not a crime, in fact, it is a requirement or prerequisite for you to have a blissful and harmonious relationship. When you settle for less than you desire in relationship, you will have to live with regret and unfulfillment.  To make it more practical, if you have a taste for a particular kind of woman or a man with a specific character; particular body feature; academic qualification or career, please don’t settle for less, go for it because only you know that which will make you happy. Your desire in life shouldn’t be compromised on the altar of sentiments. It is often said that that once a woman knows her worth, she won’t settle for less again. As a word of advice, you deserve someone who is intentional and clear about their feelings for you. You should not have to sit around and wonder how they feel about you or where you stay in their life. Also, walk away from a relationship that isn’t making you a happier and better person. It is better to be single and alone than to be in a half-assed relationship that leads you to the deception that you are not good enough.

Let’s share some practical tips on how not to settle for less in a relationship

1.      Gain self-awareness about your choices in partners and their willingness to meet your emotional and personal needs.

2.       Focus on finding your passions rather than finding a soulmate. Embrace some of the pleasures of being single – take a class, join a book club, watch your favorite movies, etc. A renowned author Holly Riordan writes: “Instead of searching every corner of the earth for someone you love, you should be searching for something you love for your passion.”

3.       Set an expectation of mutual respect. Look for friends and partners who admire and respect you for who you are. If they respect you, they’ll give you compliments, encourage you to do things that are in your best interest, and enjoy spending time with you.

4.      Don’t compromise your values. Figure out your core beliefs and stand by them. Ask for what you need and speak up when something bothers you. Be more assertive (not aggressive) by stating your needs in a positive way.

5.      Extend trust to a partner who is interested in planning a future with you. Does your partner call when they say they’re going to and follow through on commitments? When someone is interested in a relationship, they keep their agreements. Look for consistency between someone’s words and actions. Don’t waste your time on a relationship that doesn’t have a future. If he or she says they aren’t ready for a commitment, take them seriously!

Know Your Worth:

This is another interesting part of life. You need to know your worth as a human being. Knowing your worth is not limited to your lifestyle, it also transcends to your business. When you know your worth as a human being, you give yourself the due respect to know what you can tolerate and what you can’t tolerate. You also give other people the opportunity to know what you stand for in life. As you may know, if you are not willing to stand for something, you’ll for anything. Even if you have a business, your ability to define your value is very important for your people to take you serious. For instance, if you want to charge someone a service, it will be thoughtful to include the time you invest in delivery the service as opposed to the actual service you rendered. In concrete terms, you are really charging the person for your value and time as opposed to the price they are paying for the commodity. When you know your worth nobody will take you for a ride especially when you respect yourself. As a matter of fact, nobody will disrespect you without your consent. The better you feel, the easier it becomes for you to reject mistreatment. And when you resist the need to settle, you will be rewarded with opportunities.

 

Job/Career/Business:

Financial stability is the joy of any prospective employee or career professional. However, before you can get your dream career job you must have prepared yourself by learning the desired skills, have the required knowledge, understanding, information and training necessary to do the job. When you are fully equipped, you stand a better chance of demanding what you think you deserve. There are situations when people ask for a particular amount of money as a salary or even a raise in their pay but they fail to understand that nobody pays for you extra for what you do, except for the extra work or skill or even solution you offer. Furthermore, as a prospective employee, if you know what you truly deserve, don’t settle for less out of desperation. Sometimes, we miss greater and better opportunities out desperation when we take a cut and job that is far less than what we deserve. As a word of advice, always stand your ground with diplomacy by negotiating well for what you deserve.

Personal Life and Life in general:

This is similar to knowing your worth but with a slight difference as it relates to personal life and life in general. Life has a way of throwing many blows at us, but how we react to it is what makes the difference. We all have different shock absorbers. Your ability to adapt to different challenges and situations can either make or mar you. In as much as your personal life is different from your reputation or what people think about you, you should be able to define yourself and know what you can settle for. Sometimes, life throws so many bullets at you and makes you accept the appearance as reality forgetting that appearance is not reality. Don’t settle for anything life offers you. The only time you can settle for what life has given to you is when you have done your best and even at that never you settle for less until you have done your best and never give you accept anything less than you think you deserve devoid of pride and entitlement mentality. Remember, you need to have a positive mindset to appreciate the challenges life offers to you. Recognize that not getting what you want is not a personal curse.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com

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Tinubu’s Govt ‘Weaponising Hunger’, Deceiving Nigerians with Fake Food Prices – ADC

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The African Democratic Congress (ADC) has accused President Bola Tinubu’s administration of “weaponising hunger” and using food prices as a political tool, alleging that the Federal Government’s claims of improved local food production are false and intended to mislead Nigerians.

According to the party’s National Publicity Secretary, Mallam Bolaji Abdullahi, the ADC described the government’s economic narrative as “deceptive,” saying it was designed to create an illusion of progress while millions of Nigerians continue to face worsening hardship.

“The African Democratic Congress (ADC) is deeply concerned by the Federal Government’s misleading narrative around the so-called drop in food prices. Contrary to what is being celebrated in official circles, the reality on the ground, as confirmed by the voices of struggling farmers and families across the country, is that the Tinubu government is manipulating food prices and weaponising hunger for political gains,” Abdullahi said.

The ADC claimed that the reported fall in food prices was not a result of improved local production, but rather an artificial outcome of government import waivers that have flooded the market with cheap foreign goods.

“The reported drop in the prices of some food items is artificial, and a result of import waivers that have flooded the market with cheap foreign food. It is neither evidence of sound policy nor proof of increased local production.

“And while that may offer momentary relief in food prices, it has, and will, come at the heavy cost of sabotaging local farmers who can no longer compete due to soaring input costs, especially fertilisers, and worsening insecurity,” Abdullahi stated.

The party further criticised the government’s claim that its agricultural policies were encouraging domestic production, calling the assertion “dishonest” and “out of touch with reality.”
“Additionally, we find it particularly strange and dishonest for the government to claim that its policies are encouraging domestic production at a time when many farmers have been displaced by bandits, and those who remain are barely able to afford the cost of planting. How can production be increasing when the rural economy is under siege by bandits, and the costs of planting are now beyond the reach of the average farmer?” the party queried.

Rejecting government denials that imported food had been released into the market, the ADC described such claims as “false and cynical,” questioning the logic behind hoarding food in the face of national hunger.

“We also take note of the government’s claim that it has not released imported food into the market. If we are to even momentarily entertain this falsehood, it begs an even more damning question: why is the government hoarding food while the people go hungry? What sort of administration stores food in warehouses during a hunger crisis?” the ADC said.

The opposition party warned that any current decline in food prices was “temporary and unsustainable,” insisting that the government was engaging in propaganda rather than genuine economic reform.

“This is propaganda. What we are witnessing is a deliberate manipulation of food prices for short-term political gain, designed to create the illusion of economic progress while citizens continue to suffer. Any current drop in price is temporary, unsustainable, and driven by panic, not strategy and deliberate planning,” Abdullahi maintained.

Calling for urgent reforms, the ADC urged the Federal Government to “end the politicisation of hunger” and prioritise policies that safeguard local farmers, ensure fair pricing, and guarantee long-term food security.

“The ADC condemns in the strongest terms the weaponisation of hunger and calls for a complete overhaul of the current agricultural approach. We must protect local producers, address rural insecurity, and invest in long-term food sovereignty, not temporary political optics,” Abdullahi stated.

The party concluded by urging the government to put citizens’ welfare above politics, saying: “The Nigerian people deserve truth and food, not manipulation and a false narrative of renewed hope.”

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Resident Doctors Confirms Indefinite Nationwide Strike for Nov 1

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The Nigerian Association of Resident Doctors (NARD) has announced plans to commence an indefinite nationwide strike starting November 1, 2025.

NARD President, Mohammad Suleiman, disclosed this in a statement on Sunday, saying the strike directive was issued after the expiration of a 30-day ultimatum earlier given to the Federal government over unresolved demands.

This latest action comes after a five-hour meeting of the association’s National Executive Council (NEC) on Saturday.

“The NEC has marshalled out minimum demands, strike monitoring directives, and ‘no work, no pay/no pay, no work’ resolutions needed for a successful execution of this action,” the statement reads in part.

According to Suleiman, the decision followed the expiration of a 30-day ultimatum earlier issued to the Federal government to address its demands.

“Today, after a 5-Hour Extra-Ordinary National Executive Council Meeting, the Members of NEC have issued out new marching orders to us once again.

“The NEC has unanimously directed us to declare a total, comprehensive and indefinite strike action to commence on Friday 31st October 2025 at 11:59pm.”

Suleiman said the National Officers Committee (NOC) has been mandated to ensure full compliance with the directive and to implement strike monitoring and enforcement measures across all centres.

He added that the association’s centre presidents and general secretaries have been directed to convene emergency congress meetings to brief members on the resolutions.

“We have reported to NEC and NEC has decided. The NOC will carry out this directive to its latter and in full compliance.

“NEC has also decided that centre Presidents and General Secretaries shall go back and call Emergency Congress Meetings to brief Members on the details there-in.

The NARD President accused some government and non-government actors of “evil and exploitative plans” against resident doctors, adding that the union will “collectively resist” such moves.

He also called on members of NARD to use the next few days to hand over patients, engage community and religious leaders, and sensitise the public ahead of the strike.

The industrial action is expected to cripple medical services in hospitals nationwide, as resident doctors constitute the backbone of clinical care in the nation’s healthcare system.

On September 26, NARD issued one-month ultimatum to the Federal Government to address the lingering issues affecting the welfare and training of resident doctors and medical officers across the country.

Part of the grievances listed by the association are excessive and unregulated work hours, nonpayment of outstanding arrears from the 25 and 35 percent upward review of the Consolidated Medical Salary Structure (CONMESS), and the unjust dismissal of five resident doctors from the Federal Teaching Hospital, Lokoja.

The resident doctors also expressed frustration over the non-payment of promotion arrears to medical officers in various federal tertiary hospitals, as well as the failure of the government to pay the 2024 accoutrement allowance despite repeated assurances from the Ministry of Health.

They further cited bureaucratic delays in upgrading resident doctors’ ranks following the completion of postgraduate medical examinations, leading to non-payment of new salary scales and accumulated arrears.

NARD also condemned their exclusion from the specialist allowance, despite their critical role in providing specialist-level care to patients across the country.

The association faulted the exclusion of medical and dental house officers from the civil service scheme — a policy it said denies them rightful salaries, professional recognition, and career progression.

NARD also decried the downgrading of newly employed resident doctors from CONMESS three Step three to CONMESS two Step two, resulting in reduced earnings and unpaid salary arrears in several federal hospitals.

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Food for Living: The Secret Place (Pt. 1)

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Secrets are exclusive preserves of certain individuals or institutions. They are one’s advantage over others, in the sense of ‘there’s something I know, which no one else knows. No one can ever claim that they don’t have a secret, either in the good or bad light.

Secrets therefore, exist in the family circle, business terrain, academic environment, career/professional pursuit, health management, spiritual connectivity and even in everyday personal living. It is an undeniable fact that everyone has a secret that works for them.

Let’s take a minute to discuss some of the aforementioned secrets.

Family

Every family has a secret. It will be foolhardy for anyone to disclose family secrets. Most families die with their secrets. To understand how family secrets work, imagine the Coca-Cola company. The family is said to be the only one in the world that has the formula for the beverage; a trade secret that originated with its creator, John Pemberton.

It is said that not even all family members enter the room where Coca-Cola is mixed or manufactured for fear of the secret being divulged. Imagine where spouses have access to the room and the marriage goes south, there’s a tendency that a spiteful divorced partner might leak the secret and the rest as they say is history.

There are many secrets that bind many families which only the immediate family members know. In some cases, only the parents or grandparents know. They can decide to share the secret to either the first male child, first female child or even a member of the family that one considers rational. For instance, imagine where a family is faced with a peculiar life threatening illness which ordinarily might scare anyone who wants to get married into that family, it will be stupid for anyone to spit it out, that act alone can make the intending spouse to reconsider his/her plan to marry from the family.

Business

Every business has a trade secret. Trade secrets are what makes a business unique.  Every business has a unique selling point. (USP), which is a distinct benefit that sets the business or product apart from its competitors. A shrewd businessman will never leak his secret to his employees or competitors. The best his employees will know are the values, the operational systems or structures of the business and how his mindset works. But what makes the business stand out is the mystery that one will need to unravel.

Academic

Every student has a distinct trait that makes him/her succeed academically. This unique trait makes the student exceptional. For any student to succeed in their academics, he must know himself and what works for him. While some might study at night, some might study during the day, others might just listen during the lecture and understand the key points.

It’s sad to see students, who haven’t discovered who they are and what works for them following students who have discovered who they are. For example, while some students have good listening and understanding ability, and can listen to lectures and read a little and pass their examinations, some other students will have to read the course material before the lecture, listen during the lecture, read after the lecture and read thoroughly for examination before they can get a decent grade.

In some cases, they might not get the desired grade. Some students will even party hard during the day and at night they study, while some will party at night and study during the day. So, you can see that while some students have discovered themselves and what works for them, some others follow them sheepishly. Moral: Know what works for you and do what works for you because according to Oscar Wilde, “be yourself because others are taken”.

Career/Profession

Every career professional has a secret that works for them. In the same way, every industry knows what makes it stands out. The secret of what makes someone in the entertainment industry successful is quite different from what makes someone in politics or law enforcement, energy, education, legal, or health sector different. They all have different strokes, and the ability of one to do the needful in addition to playing the associated game can be the game changer.

Health

Health is a personal thing. Nobody knows you more than you know yourself. To show you how secretive and important one’s health is, it’s been said that there are three kinds of life: Public life, private life and secret life.

Your public life is the life that is generally known by everyone. It is the character we exhibit in the public space. It can also be regarded as the image perception lifestyle; we don’t generally go around revealing our health status in the public domain except where necessary. The private lifestyle; this is the kind of life only our family and close friends know.

Again, we don’t disclose such pertinent information to them only where and when necessary, then we have the secret lifestyle which only us and our creator knows. In some cases, we go to the graveyard with this. Do you see why health is a personal issue which needs to be kept in a secret place?

Personal

As mentioned earlier, everyone is unique. One of the best things that can happen to anyone is knowing themselves, and knowing what makes them different. I strongly believe we all have seeds of greatness in us. What works for Mr. A might not work for Mr. B. Like I always say, you can copy my style, but you can’t be me because imitation is a limitation.

For instance, I have unique energy and inspiration when it comes to writing. I have developed a keen interest and passion for writing. If tomorrow I become very successful or attract a unique opportunity, and someone decides to try writing to attract similar opportunities, the person might fail because God is the one that decides what opportunities come to anyone nor matter how hard someone may work.

Spiritual

This is another interesting aspect of life. Life is indeed spiritual. There’s nothing that happens physically without taking place spiritually. Everyone has a covenant point that was assigned to them at birth. Once that covenant point is touched that fellow might lose their blessings, anointing or what makes them strong.

There have been many testimonies about this. For instance, in the Bible, Samson’s touching point was his hair. He knows his power lies in his hair, that’s why Delilah tried so many times to know the secret of his strength, but Samson refused to tell her. She tried to make him drunk, but Samson still has the power. Samson repeatedly lied to Delilah about the secret of his strength, first saying it was new bowstrings, then new ropes, and finally by weaving his hair into a loom. Each time, he easily broke free, but Delilah continued to pressure him.

Weary from her constant questioning, Samson finally confessed that his strength was tied to his hair, which had never been cut because he was a Nazirite from birth. Delilah then called for a man to shave Samson’s seven locks of hair while he slept in her lap. His secret was revealed. His hair was cut. He strength was gone.

Do you see that Samson’s secret place was his hair?

In conclusion, depending on what we are working on, we all have our secret strength and place. The onus is on us to cultivate and dwell on this secret place to avoid losing power and focus.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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