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Food for Living: Don’t Settle for Less
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Friends,
I will like to start today’s article with some positive assertions. The joy of every progressive being is to get to the peak of their career in life. The joy of every young man/woman who wants to go into relationship or tie the marital knots is to get the best love experience ever which is not limited to having a faithful, caring, understanding, peaceful, loyal and loving partner; The joy of every rational person is to get the best out of life no matter what life throws at you. Nobody likes to be disrespected. As a rule of thumb, never you settle for less, especially when you deserve the best. It doesn’t matter if you are searching for a job, or a marriage partner, setting up a business, etc. All that matters is for you to give and demand the best.
During the course of this article, we shall be discussing relationship, job/career, personal living and life in general. It is instructive to know that you don’t have to agree with what you don’t want. A huge part of settling for less is by being a “yes man” or “yes woman”. If you agree to things you don’t really want, you are building a life that doesn’t reflect your own needs and identity.
Marriage/Relationship
This is one of the most interesting journeys every human being must undertake in one way or another. Whether you are dating, or you are already in a relationship or even married, you definitely have a preference for who you are willing to date or spend the rest of your life with. Just like Gary Chapman stated in his book “The Five Love Languages”: Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services, and time as the five love languages. According to him, most human beings respond to one or two of these love languages, so your ability to know what works for a particular being can give you an opportunity to relate closely with the person. It is quite unfortunate that many people don’t know what they need in a relationship, and in life, and this singular factor/act makes them settle for less. You must continually demand what you need and desire in life especially when you are ready to act/measure up with the same expectations. Requesting for more is not a crime, in fact, it is a requirement or prerequisite for you to have a blissful and harmonious relationship. When you settle for less than you desire in relationship, you will have to live with regret and unfulfillment. To make it more practical, if you have a taste for a particular kind of woman or a man with a specific character; particular body feature; academic qualification or career, please don’t settle for less, go for it because only you know that which will make you happy. Your desire in life shouldn’t be compromised on the altar of sentiments. It is often said that that once a woman knows her worth, she won’t settle for less again. As a word of advice, you deserve someone who is intentional and clear about their feelings for you. You should not have to sit around and wonder how they feel about you or where you stay in their life. Also, walk away from a relationship that isn’t making you a happier and better person. It is better to be single and alone than to be in a half-assed relationship that leads you to the deception that you are not good enough.
Let’s share some practical tips on how not to settle for less in a relationship
1. Gain self-awareness about your choices in partners and their willingness to meet your emotional and personal needs.
2. Focus on finding your passions rather than finding a soulmate. Embrace some of the pleasures of being single – take a class, join a book club, watch your favorite movies, etc. A renowned author Holly Riordan writes: “Instead of searching every corner of the earth for someone you love, you should be searching for something you love for your passion.”
3. Set an expectation of mutual respect. Look for friends and partners who admire and respect you for who you are. If they respect you, they’ll give you compliments, encourage you to do things that are in your best interest, and enjoy spending time with you.
4. Don’t compromise your values. Figure out your core beliefs and stand by them. Ask for what you need and speak up when something bothers you. Be more assertive (not aggressive) by stating your needs in a positive way.
5. Extend trust to a partner who is interested in planning a future with you. Does your partner call when they say they’re going to and follow through on commitments? When someone is interested in a relationship, they keep their agreements. Look for consistency between someone’s words and actions. Don’t waste your time on a relationship that doesn’t have a future. If he or she says they aren’t ready for a commitment, take them seriously!
Know Your Worth:
This is another interesting part of life. You need to know your worth as a human being. Knowing your worth is not limited to your lifestyle, it also transcends to your business. When you know your worth as a human being, you give yourself the due respect to know what you can tolerate and what you can’t tolerate. You also give other people the opportunity to know what you stand for in life. As you may know, if you are not willing to stand for something, you’ll for anything. Even if you have a business, your ability to define your value is very important for your people to take you serious. For instance, if you want to charge someone a service, it will be thoughtful to include the time you invest in delivery the service as opposed to the actual service you rendered. In concrete terms, you are really charging the person for your value and time as opposed to the price they are paying for the commodity. When you know your worth nobody will take you for a ride especially when you respect yourself. As a matter of fact, nobody will disrespect you without your consent. The better you feel, the easier it becomes for you to reject mistreatment. And when you resist the need to settle, you will be rewarded with opportunities.
Job/Career/Business:
Financial stability is the joy of any prospective employee or career professional. However, before you can get your dream career job you must have prepared yourself by learning the desired skills, have the required knowledge, understanding, information and training necessary to do the job. When you are fully equipped, you stand a better chance of demanding what you think you deserve. There are situations when people ask for a particular amount of money as a salary or even a raise in their pay but they fail to understand that nobody pays for you extra for what you do, except for the extra work or skill or even solution you offer. Furthermore, as a prospective employee, if you know what you truly deserve, don’t settle for less out of desperation. Sometimes, we miss greater and better opportunities out desperation when we take a cut and job that is far less than what we deserve. As a word of advice, always stand your ground with diplomacy by negotiating well for what you deserve.
Personal Life and Life in general:
This is similar to knowing your worth but with a slight difference as it relates to personal life and life in general. Life has a way of throwing many blows at us, but how we react to it is what makes the difference. We all have different shock absorbers. Your ability to adapt to different challenges and situations can either make or mar you. In as much as your personal life is different from your reputation or what people think about you, you should be able to define yourself and know what you can settle for. Sometimes, life throws so many bullets at you and makes you accept the appearance as reality forgetting that appearance is not reality. Don’t settle for anything life offers you. The only time you can settle for what life has given to you is when you have done your best and even at that never you settle for less until you have done your best and never give you accept anything less than you think you deserve devoid of pride and entitlement mentality. Remember, you need to have a positive mindset to appreciate the challenges life offers to you. Recognize that not getting what you want is not a personal curse.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
Former President, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, has reiterated Nigeria’s vast potential and resources, emphasizing the country’s ability to become a global leader. Speaking at the ongoing Ecobank Design and Build Expo at the Ecobank Pan African Centre (EPAC) in Lagos, Obasanjo praised Ecobank for organizing the event, which highlights the architecture, building, construction and design sectors, National Association of Online Security News Publishers, NAOSNP can report.
During his visit, Chief Obasanjo toured the various pavilions showcasing cutting-edge trends, innovations, and sustainable practices in architecture, construction, building materials, household appliances, engineering, and interior design. He expressed admiration for the high quality of work displayed by the exhibitors.
The former president called on leaders at all levels to leverage Nigeria’s resources and drive the nation’s economy to new heights.
The five-day event, themed “Building Nigeria Together,” kicked off on November 27 and will run until December 1, 2024. Sessions begin daily at 10:00 am, with over 60 exhibitors set to showcase their latest products and innovations.
Among the prominent global brands exhibiting are SABA Steel, Nigeria’s largest steel manufacturer; Coleman Wire & Cables, West Africa’s leading cable producer; Donna Spectre, a key player in indigenous oil and gas logistics; Dulux Paints, a top paint brand in Nigeria; HTL Africa, a forward-thinking architectural firm; ITB Nigeria Limited, a leading construction company in Nigeria and West Africa; and Mota Engil Nigeria, a civil construction giant, among others.
The Nigerian Police Force has denied allegation of instigating Chieftainy Crisis in Osun community.
The Force made the rebuttal via a statement signed by the Public Relations Officer of the Force Criminal Investigation Department (FCID), ASP Mayegun Aminat, on behalf of the Assistant Inspector-General of Police incharge of the unit, AIG Ogundele Ayodeji, and made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP).
The statement noted that it was imperative to make the clarification, stressing that both the Online report and the petitioners were false in their narratives.
The FCID maintained at no point did Inspector-General of Police Kayode Egbetokun involved himself or the police in the chieftaincy tussle of the community, adding the IGP has no knowledge of what was going.
The statement reads in full:
Clarification on False Report Regarding Chieftaincy and Police Involvement in Kingship Selection.
The Nigeria Police Force has become aware of a false and misleading report published by Sahara, which claims that the “Force Public Relations Officer, ACP Muyiwa Adejobi, passed down an order from the Inspector General of Police (IGP) to arrest the intending Chief and threatened other kingmakers who insisted that due process must be followed.”
We wish to categorically clarify that this report is inaccurate and does not reflect the facts. The Nigeria Police Force is not involved in the selection of traditional leaders, and at no point did the IGP order the arrest of any individual in connection with the kingship selection process.
The arrest mentioned in the report was carried out following a formal petition submitted by members of the community. The petition alleged that certain kingmakers were engaging in acts of extortion, bribery, conduct likely and threat to life and demanding money from individuals seeking to assume the position of the Olojudo. This form of conduct is not only unethical but violates traditional practices and undermines the integrity of the selection process.
Upon receipt of the petition, detectives from the Special Enquiry Bureau at the FCID Annex in Lagos launched a thorough investigation. The investigation led to the questioning of one individual who admitted to receiving money, as detailed in the petition. Furthermore, this individual acknowledged that others were also involved in this illegal practice and confirmed that payments were made to secure positions.
The investigation is ongoing, and additional individuals suspected of being involved in extortion and bribery will be invited for questioning. Once the investigation is complete, legal charges will be filed against those found culpable.
AIG Ogundele Ayodeji, psc+, the Assistant Inspector General of Police in charge of the FCID Annex Lagos, has urged the public to come forward with any relevant information that could assist in the investigation and ensure that justice is served. He also issued a stern warning to anyone attempting to involve the leadership of the IGP or the Nigeria Police Force in corrupt practices. AIG Ogundele Ayodeji emphasized that anyone found guilty of such behavior will face the full force of the law. As Nigeria police force is not part of kingship selection process and wont parake in such act as the Nigeria Police Force remains committed to maintaining professionalism, integrity, and transparency in all its operations. We reiterate the IGP’s zero-tolerance stance on corruption and affirm that the Force will continue to work diligently to ensure that justice is upheld in all matters.
NTT Summit confirms Keyamo, Musawa, three other ministers for 7th edition in Abuja
Minister of Aviation and Aerospace Development, Mr. Festus Keyamo SAN, and his counterpart at the Ministry of Culture, Arts, Tourism and Creative Economy, Dr. Hannatu Musa Musawa, are among a host of five federal ministers billed to participate at the 7th edition of the National Tourism Transportation (NTT) Summit and Expo, in Abuja, the nation’s capital.
According to the chairman, organizing committee, Mr. Odusanwo, this year’s Summit is to reaffirm the need for synergy and collaboration in areas of operations of the tourism transportation sector for national economic growth and development, as he reeled out some of the presentations expected as sub-themes of the Summit during plenary sessions.
He further disclosed that event speakers for this year’s edition are drawn from key players of the public sector, represented by Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs), and the Organized Private Sector (OPS), as drivers of the industry.
“These include; the Nigerian Shippers Council (NSC), leading discussions on the sub-theme; “Encourage Massive Investment in Water Front Properties, Resource and Etiquette Training;” Nigeria Tourism Development Authority (NTDA), to head discussions on: ‘Connect and Explore: Trusted Travel Hub for Seamless Journeys’.
“The Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC) will lead presentations on ‘The Relevance of Directional Signs in Tourism Transportation’ ; and the National Council for Arts and Culture (NCAC) will lead presentations on ‘Artistic Collaboration and Partnership in Tourism Transportation’
“The National Institute for Hospitality and Tourism (NIHOTOUR) to lead the panel of discussants on ‘Personnel Training for Enhanced Performance and Service delivery in Tourism, Transportation, and Allied Industries ‘; while the Nigeria Meteorological Agency (NiMet) is leading discussions on ‘Impact of Climate/Weather Forecasting on Tourism in the Sectoral Planning of Nigeria.’
“The Nigerian Export Promotion Council (NEPC) will chair discussions on ‘Nigeria’s Non-Oil Export Procedures: Sharing Expertise on Export Documentation, Logistics and Freight Management in the Tourism Transportation Sector.’
Odusanwo stressed that NTT summits has since inception in 2018, offered the platform for public and private sector stakeholders, producers and consumers in Nigeria and Africa to come together, share ideas, experiences, exchange knowledge and showcase their skills in the growth, development and promotion of the nation’s economic endowments, this time, by promoting the ideals of the value chain inherent in the tourism transportation sector.
Participants at the two-day event will be drawn from major key players and stakeholders in the transportation and tourism sectors such as the airlines, tour and travel operators, administrators of the aviation industry; the maritime industry operators, road transport operators, including major transport owners, car hire and hail ride services. In addition, road traffic and safety agencies, including the FRSC, motor insurance companies; state transport ministries and agencies; rail transport services, are also expected to take part.
Others are operators of the Tourism and Hospitality (T&H) industry including, tourism resort operators, national parks; museums and monuments, state tourism ministries and boards, festivals and tourism events managers; fast food operators; M.I.C.E and destination managers; as well as, service providers in the banking, oil and gas industries.
