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Food for Living: Don’t Settle for Less
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By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Friends,
I will like to start today’s article with some positive assertions. The joy of every progressive being is to get to the peak of their career in life. The joy of every young man/woman who wants to go into relationship or tie the marital knots is to get the best love experience ever which is not limited to having a faithful, caring, understanding, peaceful, loyal and loving partner; The joy of every rational person is to get the best out of life no matter what life throws at you. Nobody likes to be disrespected. As a rule of thumb, never you settle for less, especially when you deserve the best. It doesn’t matter if you are searching for a job, or a marriage partner, setting up a business, etc. All that matters is for you to give and demand the best.
During the course of this article, we shall be discussing relationship, job/career, personal living and life in general. It is instructive to know that you don’t have to agree with what you don’t want. A huge part of settling for less is by being a “yes man” or “yes woman”. If you agree to things you don’t really want, you are building a life that doesn’t reflect your own needs and identity.
Marriage/Relationship
This is one of the most interesting journeys every human being must undertake in one way or another. Whether you are dating, or you are already in a relationship or even married, you definitely have a preference for who you are willing to date or spend the rest of your life with. Just like Gary Chapman stated in his book “The Five Love Languages”: Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services, and time as the five love languages. According to him, most human beings respond to one or two of these love languages, so your ability to know what works for a particular being can give you an opportunity to relate closely with the person. It is quite unfortunate that many people don’t know what they need in a relationship, and in life, and this singular factor/act makes them settle for less. You must continually demand what you need and desire in life especially when you are ready to act/measure up with the same expectations. Requesting for more is not a crime, in fact, it is a requirement or prerequisite for you to have a blissful and harmonious relationship. When you settle for less than you desire in relationship, you will have to live with regret and unfulfillment. To make it more practical, if you have a taste for a particular kind of woman or a man with a specific character; particular body feature; academic qualification or career, please don’t settle for less, go for it because only you know that which will make you happy. Your desire in life shouldn’t be compromised on the altar of sentiments. It is often said that that once a woman knows her worth, she won’t settle for less again. As a word of advice, you deserve someone who is intentional and clear about their feelings for you. You should not have to sit around and wonder how they feel about you or where you stay in their life. Also, walk away from a relationship that isn’t making you a happier and better person. It is better to be single and alone than to be in a half-assed relationship that leads you to the deception that you are not good enough.
Let’s share some practical tips on how not to settle for less in a relationship
1. Gain self-awareness about your choices in partners and their willingness to meet your emotional and personal needs.
2. Focus on finding your passions rather than finding a soulmate. Embrace some of the pleasures of being single – take a class, join a book club, watch your favorite movies, etc. A renowned author Holly Riordan writes: “Instead of searching every corner of the earth for someone you love, you should be searching for something you love for your passion.”
3. Set an expectation of mutual respect. Look for friends and partners who admire and respect you for who you are. If they respect you, they’ll give you compliments, encourage you to do things that are in your best interest, and enjoy spending time with you.
4. Don’t compromise your values. Figure out your core beliefs and stand by them. Ask for what you need and speak up when something bothers you. Be more assertive (not aggressive) by stating your needs in a positive way.
5. Extend trust to a partner who is interested in planning a future with you. Does your partner call when they say they’re going to and follow through on commitments? When someone is interested in a relationship, they keep their agreements. Look for consistency between someone’s words and actions. Don’t waste your time on a relationship that doesn’t have a future. If he or she says they aren’t ready for a commitment, take them seriously!
Know Your Worth:
This is another interesting part of life. You need to know your worth as a human being. Knowing your worth is not limited to your lifestyle, it also transcends to your business. When you know your worth as a human being, you give yourself the due respect to know what you can tolerate and what you can’t tolerate. You also give other people the opportunity to know what you stand for in life. As you may know, if you are not willing to stand for something, you’ll for anything. Even if you have a business, your ability to define your value is very important for your people to take you serious. For instance, if you want to charge someone a service, it will be thoughtful to include the time you invest in delivery the service as opposed to the actual service you rendered. In concrete terms, you are really charging the person for your value and time as opposed to the price they are paying for the commodity. When you know your worth nobody will take you for a ride especially when you respect yourself. As a matter of fact, nobody will disrespect you without your consent. The better you feel, the easier it becomes for you to reject mistreatment. And when you resist the need to settle, you will be rewarded with opportunities.
Job/Career/Business:
Financial stability is the joy of any prospective employee or career professional. However, before you can get your dream career job you must have prepared yourself by learning the desired skills, have the required knowledge, understanding, information and training necessary to do the job. When you are fully equipped, you stand a better chance of demanding what you think you deserve. There are situations when people ask for a particular amount of money as a salary or even a raise in their pay but they fail to understand that nobody pays for you extra for what you do, except for the extra work or skill or even solution you offer. Furthermore, as a prospective employee, if you know what you truly deserve, don’t settle for less out of desperation. Sometimes, we miss greater and better opportunities out desperation when we take a cut and job that is far less than what we deserve. As a word of advice, always stand your ground with diplomacy by negotiating well for what you deserve.
Personal Life and Life in general:
This is similar to knowing your worth but with a slight difference as it relates to personal life and life in general. Life has a way of throwing many blows at us, but how we react to it is what makes the difference. We all have different shock absorbers. Your ability to adapt to different challenges and situations can either make or mar you. In as much as your personal life is different from your reputation or what people think about you, you should be able to define yourself and know what you can settle for. Sometimes, life throws so many bullets at you and makes you accept the appearance as reality forgetting that appearance is not reality. Don’t settle for anything life offers you. The only time you can settle for what life has given to you is when you have done your best and even at that never you settle for less until you have done your best and never give you accept anything less than you think you deserve devoid of pride and entitlement mentality. Remember, you need to have a positive mindset to appreciate the challenges life offers to you. Recognize that not getting what you want is not a personal curse.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
News
Peter Obi Decries Worsening Hunger, Insecurity Under Tinubu
The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) presidential candidate for 2027 general elections, Peter Obi, says that Nigerians across all walks of life are suffering under President Bola Tinubu’s administration due to worsening hunger, widespread insecurity, and systemic harassment.
Speaking with journalists at St Fintan’s Catholic Church in Onicha Local Government Area, Ebonyi State, on Friday, Obi urged citizens to stand firm and resist further hardship imposed by the country’s current leadership.
Obi was in Ebonyi State to attend the burial ceremony of Okaji Okorie, father of the NDC senatorial candidate for the Ebonyi South Zone, Linus Okorie. Responding to questions regarding the alleged harassment of NDC supporters by the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC), Obi said that the current hardship transcends political affiliations.
“For me, every Nigerian is already being harassed, not just my supporters,” Obi said. “Hunger is harassing everybody. The worsening economic situation is affecting everyone. Go to any village, and you will see that people are suffering. It is time for Nigerians to tell those governing us that enough is enough.”
Addressing concerns over the Independent National Electoral Commission’s (INEC) ability to conduct free and fair elections in 2027, Obi urged citizens to focus on collective action rather than institutional trust.
“It is not really about confidence in INEC; it is about having confidence in the people. The people will determine what INEC does. If Nigerians insist that their votes must count, then their votes will count,” he asserted.
“The people should look at what is happening in Nigeria and ask themselves: What is the future of our children in this enterprise called Nigeria? Are we going to continue in this direction?”
Obi noted that advocating for real change in the current political climate requires tremendous courage.
“Anyone talking about change in Nigeria today is making the ultimate sacrifice because we cannot continue like this. Every single day, poverty is increasing; every single day, hunger is increasing,” he noted.
“The World Bank recently reported that poverty has risen to almost 79 per cent from about 51 per cent when this government came into office. But you do not even need a World Bank report to know what is happening. Go to the villages and see for yourself.”
“Millions more Nigerians are facing hunger. So, what are we going to do about it? Are we going to continue like this? No.”
Turning to his host, Obi described Okorie as a steadfast ally and dependable partner, highlighting their shared political journey across party lines.
“This is not the first time Hon. Linus Okorie and I are working together. We worked together in the Labour Party, and now we are together in the NDC. That underscores the strength of our relationship,” Obi said.
“However, we are here today to pay our last respects to his late father. We pray that God Almighty, who blessed Papa with a long and fruitful life, will grant him eternal rest in His kingdom and give the family the fortitude to bear this irreparable loss.”
News
Food for Living: Just Start
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The beginning of any journey is usually the hardest part. It is usually hard to take the bold step. Whether you are applying for a job, writing a book, starting a new business, getting married or even applying for school, there’s always the tendency to ask yourself mind-boggling questions such as; Will I succeed? Will I be accepted? This is among many others.
When progressive minds encounter this challenge, they are not afraid of taking the first step, they are merely concerned about the big picture, and not what they are currently experiencing. One of the big differences between great people and lesser minds is the ability for great people to take strategic risks, while lesser minds stay in their comfort zone.
On a personal note, I can relate to the journey of greatness when I began writing my first book. In all sincerity, I didn’t know what I was writing. All I knew was that I was putting down whatever comes to my mind provided I found it reasonable and relatable. At the end of the day, I found a proficient and efficient editor who was kind enough to work on the book and it became a trailblazer.
The moral is that I doubted myself many times if I had the capacity to write a book. I was literally afraid of beginning, but immediately I began writing, the universe began to conspire with me to make the work fruitful. Today, when I look back, I’m glad I took the bold step. I say this because just because of one book, I received national and global attention in addition to appearing on television and meeting gatekeepers and resource people.
The same principle is applicable when I began my first business. I didn’t know what to focus on and how to develop bossiness. All I knew was that I’m a motivator and counselor who likes to help youths and career professionals on proactive ways to succeed in their personal and professional lives. After attending a series of training courses, workshops, webinars, and several conferences, I began to have clarity about my business. I remember when I first started, I told the world that I can build a website just because my uncle assisted in using a free tool to build my website.
Why am I sharing this information? The same business I didn’t know how to structure is now registered with the highest certification from the Office of the Governor of New York to do business with any New York City agency. It now has a Chief Operating Officer, Social media manager, IT personnel and an exceptional Director of Partnership who works as a consultant. The company has also partnered with the United Nations Development Programme and has received awards.
All this is because I took the bold step to start a business. Sometimes in life, you don’t know what lies ahead when one takes the bold step.
According to Dr. Yomi Garnet, a proficient Ghost Writer, “If a book is tiled A synopsis of successful living were to be written, it would in all probability contain the following chapters:
1. Identify your talents, (use then to glory God and to benefit of humanity)
2. Have faith in the favor of God,
3. Engage in proper planning
4. 10% belongs to God
5. Give, give and keep in giving
Let’s take a minute to elaborate on this chapter:
1. Identify your talent: Before you begin any project, one must know who they are, what they have and what problems they want to solve. They also must take into consideration whether they have the capacity, competence and capability of doing the business. One thing is certain, they are using their skills, talent, and knowledge to solve a problem
2. Have faith in God:
Taking the first step entails having faith in yourself, in your business and most importantly in God. Without faith in oneself, in the business and in God, it will be difficult for one to succeed. Taking the first set entails believing in the possibility of the future.
3. Engaging in Proper planning:
It’s instructive to note that failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Before anyone begins any task, it’s important for one to sit back and ask oneself if they have all they need to set up the business. This entails setting up a structure for the business, getting the right people, offering services and setting up the mission and vision statement of the company
4. 10% belongs to God
This is Biblical instruction which is part of the spiritual blessings of doing business. No one succeeds on their own. They either have an altar working for them or they have human beings as networks, benefactors, and resource persons recommending them for opportunities. Alternatively, these acts of tithe giving can also refer to Corporate Social Responsibility which is tantamount to giving back to society.
5. Give, give and keep giving.
This is another spiritual blessing. We are quite familiar with the saying, the giver never lacks, however, it’s important to note that when one gives without wisdom and accountability, one might run dry. So, it’s imperatively important for one to give with discretion, otherwise, one will be exhausted. It’s instructive to note that nobody receives with a clenched fist and the giver’s hand is always on top. If you want to receive it, please give. This giving aspect is made possible because someone took the first step to start a business which made it possible for the art of giving to take place.
In conclusion, if you desire to start a business, or have inspiration, just start, the universe has a way of conspiring with the world to support you to birth your passion, idea or vision. I say this because the worst you’ll want to do towards the end of life is to live in regret. So, I say, just begin. Whether you fail, it’s irrelevant because you are gaining and showing perseverance for the cause you believe in. At the end of theer day, we shall all tell our stories.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design, Unleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Succes . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
News
Supreme Court Bars Lawyers from Using ‘Barrister’ Title in Official Correspondence
The Supreme Court has prohibited lawyers, court registrars, litigation staff and all legal practitioners dealing with the apex court from using the title “Barrister” as a prefix to their names in official correspondence and court-related engagements.
The directive was conveyed in an internal circular dated July 13, 2026, issued by the Chief Registrar of the Supreme Court, Kabir E. Akanbi, on the instruction of the Chief Justice of Nigeria.
The circular, titled “Prohibition of the Use of the Title ‘Barrister’ as a Prefix to Names,” was addressed to legal practitioners, litigation staff, court registrars and other lawyers interacting with the apex court.
According to the memo, the continued use of the title “Barrister” before names is inconsistent with the professional standards expected in official dealings with the Supreme Court.
It stated that the Chief Justice had directed that the practice be discontinued with immediate effect.
Part of the circular reads: “The use of the title ‘Barrister’ as a prefix to names is inappropriate and inconsistent with the standards of professionalism expected within the Supreme Court of Nigeria.”
The court further directed that the title should no longer appear in official correspondence, court processes, legal documents, identity materials or any other official communication with the Supreme Court.
Heads of departments and unit heads were also instructed to ensure strict compliance by officers under their supervision.
However, the directive is limited to official interactions with the Supreme Court and does not prevent legal practitioners from identifying themselves as barristers in academic, professional or other non-court-related settings.






