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Food for Living: Don’t Settle for Less
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Friends,
I will like to start today’s article with some positive assertions. The joy of every progressive being is to get to the peak of their career in life. The joy of every young man/woman who wants to go into relationship or tie the marital knots is to get the best love experience ever which is not limited to having a faithful, caring, understanding, peaceful, loyal and loving partner; The joy of every rational person is to get the best out of life no matter what life throws at you. Nobody likes to be disrespected. As a rule of thumb, never you settle for less, especially when you deserve the best. It doesn’t matter if you are searching for a job, or a marriage partner, setting up a business, etc. All that matters is for you to give and demand the best.
During the course of this article, we shall be discussing relationship, job/career, personal living and life in general. It is instructive to know that you don’t have to agree with what you don’t want. A huge part of settling for less is by being a “yes man” or “yes woman”. If you agree to things you don’t really want, you are building a life that doesn’t reflect your own needs and identity.
Marriage/Relationship
This is one of the most interesting journeys every human being must undertake in one way or another. Whether you are dating, or you are already in a relationship or even married, you definitely have a preference for who you are willing to date or spend the rest of your life with. Just like Gary Chapman stated in his book “The Five Love Languages”: Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services, and time as the five love languages. According to him, most human beings respond to one or two of these love languages, so your ability to know what works for a particular being can give you an opportunity to relate closely with the person. It is quite unfortunate that many people don’t know what they need in a relationship, and in life, and this singular factor/act makes them settle for less. You must continually demand what you need and desire in life especially when you are ready to act/measure up with the same expectations. Requesting for more is not a crime, in fact, it is a requirement or prerequisite for you to have a blissful and harmonious relationship. When you settle for less than you desire in relationship, you will have to live with regret and unfulfillment. To make it more practical, if you have a taste for a particular kind of woman or a man with a specific character; particular body feature; academic qualification or career, please don’t settle for less, go for it because only you know that which will make you happy. Your desire in life shouldn’t be compromised on the altar of sentiments. It is often said that that once a woman knows her worth, she won’t settle for less again. As a word of advice, you deserve someone who is intentional and clear about their feelings for you. You should not have to sit around and wonder how they feel about you or where you stay in their life. Also, walk away from a relationship that isn’t making you a happier and better person. It is better to be single and alone than to be in a half-assed relationship that leads you to the deception that you are not good enough.
Let’s share some practical tips on how not to settle for less in a relationship
1. Gain self-awareness about your choices in partners and their willingness to meet your emotional and personal needs.
2. Focus on finding your passions rather than finding a soulmate. Embrace some of the pleasures of being single – take a class, join a book club, watch your favorite movies, etc. A renowned author Holly Riordan writes: “Instead of searching every corner of the earth for someone you love, you should be searching for something you love for your passion.”
3. Set an expectation of mutual respect. Look for friends and partners who admire and respect you for who you are. If they respect you, they’ll give you compliments, encourage you to do things that are in your best interest, and enjoy spending time with you.
4. Don’t compromise your values. Figure out your core beliefs and stand by them. Ask for what you need and speak up when something bothers you. Be more assertive (not aggressive) by stating your needs in a positive way.
5. Extend trust to a partner who is interested in planning a future with you. Does your partner call when they say they’re going to and follow through on commitments? When someone is interested in a relationship, they keep their agreements. Look for consistency between someone’s words and actions. Don’t waste your time on a relationship that doesn’t have a future. If he or she says they aren’t ready for a commitment, take them seriously!
Know Your Worth:
This is another interesting part of life. You need to know your worth as a human being. Knowing your worth is not limited to your lifestyle, it also transcends to your business. When you know your worth as a human being, you give yourself the due respect to know what you can tolerate and what you can’t tolerate. You also give other people the opportunity to know what you stand for in life. As you may know, if you are not willing to stand for something, you’ll for anything. Even if you have a business, your ability to define your value is very important for your people to take you serious. For instance, if you want to charge someone a service, it will be thoughtful to include the time you invest in delivery the service as opposed to the actual service you rendered. In concrete terms, you are really charging the person for your value and time as opposed to the price they are paying for the commodity. When you know your worth nobody will take you for a ride especially when you respect yourself. As a matter of fact, nobody will disrespect you without your consent. The better you feel, the easier it becomes for you to reject mistreatment. And when you resist the need to settle, you will be rewarded with opportunities.
Job/Career/Business:
Financial stability is the joy of any prospective employee or career professional. However, before you can get your dream career job you must have prepared yourself by learning the desired skills, have the required knowledge, understanding, information and training necessary to do the job. When you are fully equipped, you stand a better chance of demanding what you think you deserve. There are situations when people ask for a particular amount of money as a salary or even a raise in their pay but they fail to understand that nobody pays for you extra for what you do, except for the extra work or skill or even solution you offer. Furthermore, as a prospective employee, if you know what you truly deserve, don’t settle for less out of desperation. Sometimes, we miss greater and better opportunities out desperation when we take a cut and job that is far less than what we deserve. As a word of advice, always stand your ground with diplomacy by negotiating well for what you deserve.
Personal Life and Life in general:
This is similar to knowing your worth but with a slight difference as it relates to personal life and life in general. Life has a way of throwing many blows at us, but how we react to it is what makes the difference. We all have different shock absorbers. Your ability to adapt to different challenges and situations can either make or mar you. In as much as your personal life is different from your reputation or what people think about you, you should be able to define yourself and know what you can settle for. Sometimes, life throws so many bullets at you and makes you accept the appearance as reality forgetting that appearance is not reality. Don’t settle for anything life offers you. The only time you can settle for what life has given to you is when you have done your best and even at that never you settle for less until you have done your best and never give you accept anything less than you think you deserve devoid of pride and entitlement mentality. Remember, you need to have a positive mindset to appreciate the challenges life offers to you. Recognize that not getting what you want is not a personal curse.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
The Nigerian Army has dismissed as false and misleading an online report alleging threats of mutiny by soldiers over salaries and allowances, describing the claim as sensational and detrimental to national security.
The acting Director, Army Public Relations, Col. Appolonia Anele, said there has been no threat of mutiny within the Nigerian Army.
Anele said that such conduct is alien to its ethos, discipline and professionalism.
She said mutiny is a grave offence under military law and incompatible with the loyalty of Nigerian Army personnel to the Constitution and the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces.
Anele explained that the report relied on anonymous and unverifiable claims circulated through non-official channels, which did not reflect the views or disposition of officers and soldiers who were trained to address grievances through established military procedures.
Anele clarified that promotion increments is only one component of military pay and should not be misrepresented as total earnings.
According to her, military remuneration includes consolidated salaries, rank-based allowances, operational, field and hardship allowances, as well as other entitlements that vary based on deployment, qualifications and responsibilities.
She said the Nigerian Army, in collaboration with the Armed Forces of Nigeria and relevant government authorities, is implementing structured welfare reforms, including periodic reviews of salaries and allowances, enhanced operational incentives, improved accommodation, medical care and insurance packages for troops and their families.
The army spokesperson added that the Chief of Army Staff (COAS), Lt.-Gen. Waidi Shaibu, had, since assuming office, initiated constructive engagements with relevant authorities on troop welfare, with positive outcomes already emerging.
Anele reaffirmed that the Federal government, under President Bola Tinubu, remains committed to the welfare and operational effectiveness of the Armed Forces amid evolving security challenges.
She urged the public to disregard unfounded reports and rely on official communication channels for accurate information on the Nigerian Army.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
To survive, everyone must work irrespective of creed or cadre. Work defines an individual, and sets them apart.
Working as a human being is however, relative. A student’s main work is to read and pass examination. A parent’s main work is to train their children. An employee’s main work is do the job they have been paid to do. A pastor’s job is to preach the gospel of Christ in addition to leading people to God. An athlete’s main work is to train and compete at global events in addition to winning laurels. The list is endless.
It’s the job every living being does that attracts opportunities to them, and so, staying docile and expecting opportunities to come your way is another way of encouraging poverty, lack and want in your life. In fact, docile people derive a certain level of joy from begging. Some even love freebies, free lunch and introduction for job opportunities just because they think they have the connection to make it work without them necessarily doing the corresponding work or have the requisite skill.
I personally believe it’s only lazy minds, who think that way. Life doesn’t work that way. I have since discovered that the more work one does the more doors and opportunities that come his way.
Speaking from experience, I have observed that some of the opportunities and favours I am currently receiving and enjoying are consequences of the foundation I laid many years ago. One might be wondering how that works. Let me explain a little, the day you sow a seed is not the day you will reap the fruits. Let me be more direct, as an author, it wasn’t an easy feat writing, researching, editing, doing the layout, publishing and printing the manuscript. It was lots of work, and I didn’t know my book would connect me to resourceful persons today.
In addition, the book generated royalties that humbled me to say the least. The moral of this analysis lies in the fact that when I was spending hours doing the work, I didn’t know it would attract the kind of global attention and news interviews that came to me. Now, you see why it’s good to work. Even the Bible states in Luke 10:7, that every laborer deserves fair compensation.
Did you know that if anyone wants to bless you, they will bless you with the work you do. That’s why the book of life states; God will bless the works of your hands. Nobody likes to give out free money. They like their money to work for them. It’s sad and very unfortunate to see people who pray for opportunities, favours, and blessings without doing any work. These lesser minds think money and opportunities will fall from heaven; they fail to realize that it is their work that heaven is waiting to use to bless them.
Did you know that there are things which God has enabled us to do for ourselves, and there are things we need to depend on Him to assist us. Let me explain further; if all your prayer requests are things men can provide, why are you really praying? Isn’t prayer meant for things you can’t do yourself? You pray to pass an exam that your friend read to pass. You pray to get a job that your friend got on merit. You appeal to God for a car that your friend worked for. It looks as if you are abusing prayer, and you want God to give you the things He has equipped you to provide for yourself. It is high time we understood that prayer is not the solution to laziness.
My late dad, Chief Lazarus Ukazu, advised my siblings and I to always work. As a matter of fact, each time he feels we are oversleeping, he’ll wake us up and say we have many years to sleep in the grave when we die, but as we are alive, we must work.
This instructive advice has been one of the best inspirational lessons I have received in my life. That advice made me feel like setting another goal each time I accomplish a major feat.
The importance of working cannot be overemphasized. The difference between high achievers and docile people is the work they do. While high achievers are very intentional with their life, docile people live by chance. While high achievers are determined to break records, and set new records, docile people are always comfortable living in their comfort zone.
In our contemporary society, we literally have no reason to fail because there’s the availability technology and social media to boost the work we do. It’s easy for one to know what we represent by just surfing the internet. So, imagine when frivolities are seen on your page, it will greatly affect you. Then contrast it with when good information is seen of you on the internet. Like I always say, why be local when we can be global?
Did you know that working is like taking a risk, the more work and risk someone engages in, the more opportunities and experience come their way.
In summary, if you are asked, what’s your work or what project are you working on, what will be your response?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A Rivers High Court sitting in Oyigbo Local Government Area has issued an interim injunction temporarily halting further action on the impeachment process against Governor Siminalayi Fubara and his deputy, Ngozi Nma-Odu.
In a ruling delivered in Port Harcourt, the court restrained Speaker of the Rivers State House of Assembly, Martin Amaewhule, alongside 32 other defendants — including the Clerk of the House and the Chief Judge of Rivers State – from taking steps aimed at advancing the impeachment process.
Specifically, the order barred the Chief Judge, Justice Simeon Chibuzor-Amadi, from receiving, forwarding, considering, or acting on any request, resolution, or impeachment-related document from the Assembly for the purpose of constituting an investigative panel, pending the determination of the matter. The injunction is to subsist for seven days.
The order was granted by Justice Florence Fiberesima following the hearing of a motion ex parte filed separately by Governor Fubara and his deputy. In the two suits—marked OYHC/7/CS/2026 and OYHC/6/CS/2026—the court also granted the claimants leave to serve the interim order and other originating processes on the first to the thirty-first defendants by pasting them at the gate of the Rivers State Assembly quarters.
The court also directed that the Chief Judge, listed as the thirty-second defendant, be served through any staff of the judiciary at his chambers within the court premises.
Justice Fiberesima, thereafter, adjourned the matter to January 23, 2026, for hearing of the motion on notice, as the legal battle over the impeachment move shifts from the political arena to the courtroom.
On Friday, the Rivers State House of Assembly had asked the Chief Judge to set up a panel to investigate the allegations of gross misconduct against Governor Fubara and his deputy.
The assembly members, who made the call through a unanimous vote, vowed to continue with the impeachment process.
The lawmakers had earlier addressed a press conference in Port Harcourt, where they accused Fubara of allegedly using blackmail.
Addressing journalists, the Deputy Speaker, Dumle Maol, claimed Fubara lacks the trust needed to address the crisis rocking the oil-rich State.
They accused the governor of infringing on the 1999 Constitution, saying the parliament was left with no other choice but to apply their legislative power by impeaching him from office.
The lawmakers also claimed the governor and his deputy had resorted to intimidating the parliament.
They, however, thanked President Bola Tinubu for wading into the crisis.
The members also called on the Speaker, Martin Amaewhule, to reconvene the House.
Their position came weeks after they initiated an impeachment process against Fubara and Odu. The lawmakers are accusing them of gross negligence, a move that has heightened political tension in the coastal State.
