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Food for Living: Don’t Settle for Less

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By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Friends,

I will like to start today’s article with some positive assertions. The joy of every progressive being is to get to the peak of their career in life. The joy of every young man/woman who wants to go into relationship or tie the marital knots is to get the best love experience ever which is not limited to having a faithful, caring, understanding, peaceful, loyal and loving partner; The joy of every rational person is to get the best out of life no matter what life throws at you. Nobody likes to be disrespected. As a rule of thumb, never you settle for less, especially when you deserve the best. It doesn’t matter if you are searching for a job, or a marriage partner, setting up a business, etc. All that matters is for you to give and demand the best.

During the course of this article, we shall be discussing relationship, job/career, personal living and life in general. It is instructive to know that you don’t have to agree with what you don’t want. A huge part of settling for less is by being a “yes man” or “yes woman”. If you agree to things you don’t really want, you are building a life that doesn’t reflect your own needs and identity.

Marriage/Relationship

This is one of the most interesting journeys every human being must undertake in one way or another. Whether you are dating, or you are already in a relationship or even married, you definitely have a preference for who you are willing to date or spend the rest of your life with. Just like Gary Chapman stated in his book “The Five Love Languages”: Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services, and time as the five love languages. According to him, most human beings respond to one or two of these love languages, so your ability to know what works for a particular being can give you an opportunity to relate closely with the person. It is quite unfortunate that many people don’t know what they need in a relationship, and in life, and this singular factor/act makes them settle for less. You must continually demand what you need and desire in life especially when you are ready to act/measure up with the same expectations. Requesting for more is not a crime, in fact, it is a requirement or prerequisite for you to have a blissful and harmonious relationship. When you settle for less than you desire in relationship, you will have to live with regret and unfulfillment.  To make it more practical, if you have a taste for a particular kind of woman or a man with a specific character; particular body feature; academic qualification or career, please don’t settle for less, go for it because only you know that which will make you happy. Your desire in life shouldn’t be compromised on the altar of sentiments. It is often said that that once a woman knows her worth, she won’t settle for less again. As a word of advice, you deserve someone who is intentional and clear about their feelings for you. You should not have to sit around and wonder how they feel about you or where you stay in their life. Also, walk away from a relationship that isn’t making you a happier and better person. It is better to be single and alone than to be in a half-assed relationship that leads you to the deception that you are not good enough.

Let’s share some practical tips on how not to settle for less in a relationship

1.      Gain self-awareness about your choices in partners and their willingness to meet your emotional and personal needs.

2.       Focus on finding your passions rather than finding a soulmate. Embrace some of the pleasures of being single – take a class, join a book club, watch your favorite movies, etc. A renowned author Holly Riordan writes: “Instead of searching every corner of the earth for someone you love, you should be searching for something you love for your passion.”

3.       Set an expectation of mutual respect. Look for friends and partners who admire and respect you for who you are. If they respect you, they’ll give you compliments, encourage you to do things that are in your best interest, and enjoy spending time with you.

4.      Don’t compromise your values. Figure out your core beliefs and stand by them. Ask for what you need and speak up when something bothers you. Be more assertive (not aggressive) by stating your needs in a positive way.

5.      Extend trust to a partner who is interested in planning a future with you. Does your partner call when they say they’re going to and follow through on commitments? When someone is interested in a relationship, they keep their agreements. Look for consistency between someone’s words and actions. Don’t waste your time on a relationship that doesn’t have a future. If he or she says they aren’t ready for a commitment, take them seriously!

Know Your Worth:

This is another interesting part of life. You need to know your worth as a human being. Knowing your worth is not limited to your lifestyle, it also transcends to your business. When you know your worth as a human being, you give yourself the due respect to know what you can tolerate and what you can’t tolerate. You also give other people the opportunity to know what you stand for in life. As you may know, if you are not willing to stand for something, you’ll for anything. Even if you have a business, your ability to define your value is very important for your people to take you serious. For instance, if you want to charge someone a service, it will be thoughtful to include the time you invest in delivery the service as opposed to the actual service you rendered. In concrete terms, you are really charging the person for your value and time as opposed to the price they are paying for the commodity. When you know your worth nobody will take you for a ride especially when you respect yourself. As a matter of fact, nobody will disrespect you without your consent. The better you feel, the easier it becomes for you to reject mistreatment. And when you resist the need to settle, you will be rewarded with opportunities.

 

Job/Career/Business:

Financial stability is the joy of any prospective employee or career professional. However, before you can get your dream career job you must have prepared yourself by learning the desired skills, have the required knowledge, understanding, information and training necessary to do the job. When you are fully equipped, you stand a better chance of demanding what you think you deserve. There are situations when people ask for a particular amount of money as a salary or even a raise in their pay but they fail to understand that nobody pays for you extra for what you do, except for the extra work or skill or even solution you offer. Furthermore, as a prospective employee, if you know what you truly deserve, don’t settle for less out of desperation. Sometimes, we miss greater and better opportunities out desperation when we take a cut and job that is far less than what we deserve. As a word of advice, always stand your ground with diplomacy by negotiating well for what you deserve.

Personal Life and Life in general:

This is similar to knowing your worth but with a slight difference as it relates to personal life and life in general. Life has a way of throwing many blows at us, but how we react to it is what makes the difference. We all have different shock absorbers. Your ability to adapt to different challenges and situations can either make or mar you. In as much as your personal life is different from your reputation or what people think about you, you should be able to define yourself and know what you can settle for. Sometimes, life throws so many bullets at you and makes you accept the appearance as reality forgetting that appearance is not reality. Don’t settle for anything life offers you. The only time you can settle for what life has given to you is when you have done your best and even at that never you settle for less until you have done your best and never give you accept anything less than you think you deserve devoid of pride and entitlement mentality. Remember, you need to have a positive mindset to appreciate the challenges life offers to you. Recognize that not getting what you want is not a personal curse.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com

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Hike in WAEC, NECO Fees Cruel, Dangerous to Education, Atiku Tells Tinubu

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Former Vice President Atiku Abubakar has condemned the Federal Government’s continued escalation of the cost of public education, describing the recent increase in fees for Federal Unity Colleges and the reported approval of a uniform ₦50,000 examination fee for West African Examinations Council WAEC and National Examinations Council NECO candidates from 2027 as cruel.

Noting that the policy is economically insensitive and fundamentally incompatible with government’s constitutional responsibility to make education accessible to every Nigerian child, the Presidential Candidate of the African Democratic Congress ADC said it is unconscionable that at a time when Nigerian families are battling record inflation, soaring food prices, rising transportation costs, crippling electricity tariffs, stagnant incomes and widespread unemployment, the President Bola Tinubu-administration has chosen to make education even more expensive.

In a statement issued by his Senior Special Assistant on Public Communication, Phrank Shaibu, on Sunday, Atiku noted that education remains the greatest instrument of social mobility and the surest pathway out of poverty for millions of children from humble backgrounds, adding that every additional financial burden imposed on parents translates into another child being denied the opportunity to learn, dream and contribute meaningfully to society.

“Nigeria already bears the painful distinction of having one of the largest populations of out-of-school children in the world. Depending on the methodology and age group measured, between 10.5 million and about 15 million Nigerian children and young people are already outside the classroom. Any government confronted with such a national emergency should be investing aggressively to bring these children back into school. Instead, this administration is choosing policies that will inevitably swell those numbers,” he said.

He warned that increasing fees in Federal Unity Colleges while imposing significantly higher costs on WAEC and NECO examinations would disproportionately affect children from poor and middle-income families, whose parents are already making impossible choices between food, healthcare, transportation, and education.

“The same administration whose policies are progressively narrowing access to public tertiary education continues to project the Nigerian Education Loan Fund (NELFUND) as one of its flagship achievements. Yet a university loan offers little comfort to a child who has already been priced out of secondary education or cannot afford the qualifying examination required for admission. A government cannot credibly claim to be expanding access to higher education while simultaneously erecting financial barriers that prevent millions of young Nigerians from ever reaching the university gates.

“Genuine educational reform begins by making education affordable from the primary and secondary levels, expanding the carrying capacity of our tertiary institutions, and ensuring that poverty never becomes the reason a child is denied the opportunity to learn. A government that truly believes in education invests in classrooms before it invests in loans.

“No nation has ever taxed its way into educational excellence. Countries that aspire to economic greatness invest more—not less—in education during difficult times because they understand that human capital is the engine of sustainable development. Nigeria cannot build a globally competitive economy while systematically pricing millions of its children out of classrooms”, he added.

Atiku therefore called on President Tinubu to immediately reverse the increase in Unity School fees and the proposed ₦50,000 WAEC and NECO examination fee, and convene an urgent stakeholders’ dialogue on sustainable financing for public education.

“By the grace of Almighty God, I remain confident that Nigerians will reject policies that punish their children and make education the exclusive preserve of those who can afford it. The African Democratic Congress is committed to restoring education as a public good, not a privilege.

“An ADC-led government will not permit this unjust and punitive increase in examination fees. Instead, we shall reverse policies that place education beyond the reach of ordinary families, expand access to quality education at every level, increase the carrying capacity of our tertiary institutions, and ensure that every Nigerian child, regardless of background, has a fair opportunity to learn, excel and fulfil his or her God-given potential,” he added.

The Vanguard

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Food for Living: Make Efficiency, Effectiveness Your Watchword

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

To be successful, everyone needs to be effective and efficient in all they do. Success does not come from nicety, speech articulation or fine diction, spotless dressing, connections, good proposal or even from having a good product. Though all these factors might play a role, a business man must not only be efficient in their business, they must also be effective.

These words, effective and efficient no doubt, are so closely related, however there’s a thin line of difference between the two. If you stay with me for awhile, you’ll understand.

One might be wondering what the difference between being effective and being efficient is. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a prolific and exceptional ghost writer, efficiency is the ability to do something well without wasting energy or effort, whilst to be effective is simply to do something well. Let’s talk a minute to explain how this works. One can be efficient and not effective, and one can be effective and not efficient. But a truly great mind is both effective and efficient. When one is efficient, it means that he can do the work within the shortest possible time. This may be because he has done it over and over again, and have mastered its nitty-gritty.

There’s a saying, if someone can’t explain something to a six-year-old child, that person doesn’t understand the subject very well. I agree with this saying because when someone understands something, he/she won’t go through stress explaining it, and will spend minimum time doing it. Whilst for someone who is effective, he knows the issue or has a subject matter expert on the business very well. He can literally do it when he wakes up from sleep without rehearsing.  So, in summary, an effective person saves time, while an efficient person explains better.

As progressive beings, we must be proactive with not only our life, but also our business, career, and whatever we find our hand worthy of doing. By doing so, people will appreciate us and support us. In business, one of the best forms of advertising is referral. When one’s work is exceptionally good, he doesn’t need too much advertising; his work will speak for itself. For instance, anyone who may have used the product might say ‘I have used this product or service, and I can guarantee its effectiveness’. Another person might say ‘the staff are very efficient, professional, and great at customer service’.

All these are great reviews. Trust me, one doesn’t need too many reviews to believe in the authenticity of what people are saying. They can sense a genuine review devoid of sentiments and vested interest. So, imagine a case where there’s no review, one might have a challenge in believing the durability and effectiveness of the product/service.

As a business owner, one must be intentional with respect to how he treats his employers and customers. What most uninformed business owners don’t know is that when you take care of your staff, they will in turn take care of your business. When the staff are happy, they’ll treat the customers well, and when the customers are happy, they’ll in turn tell the world. Do you see how effectiveness and efficiency work in a company?

In a similar way, if one is consistent in publishing articles every week like I do, opportunities are bound to arise soon when there’s alignment. As a business owner, I can authoritatively tell you being good at what you say you do is a currency. Nobody likes shady or dirty work. I can also tell you people are ready to pay for premium services provided you can deliver.

Let me share a personal experience with you; two months ago, I visited my home country – Nigeria, for a business opportunity. During my meeting with some established institutions, I had to submit proposals to them. But because I wasn’t proficient in writing proposals, I had to hire a consultant to do the job for me. Not only did I hire a consultant, I also flew him for business meetings because I trusted his judgment, and guess work, it paid off.

Imagine, if I had to do it myself, I doubt if the work would have been given the kind of positive attention it attracted. Why am I sharing this information? When one is good at what they do, it won’t take long for them to be seen when the right opportunity comes.

Being efficient and effective does not only apply to our professional lives, it’s also applicable in our personal lives. In the world we currently live in, things are governed by perception. When people see how effective and efficient you are, they will be inclined to associate with you, but when you appear like an unserious person, they will find it hard to recommend or refer you for business opportunities.

So, today, take stock and ask yourself if are you an effective and efficient person; if your company is effective and efficient. If your answer is no; ask yourself what you can do to make you and your company effective. The answer will set you on the right path to success.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Security Outfit Captures Wanted Notorious Bandit Usman in Delta Forest

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The Delta State security outfit – SafeCity Security Service – in collaboration with operatives of the State police command, have arrested a wanted notorious bandit, Abubakar Usman.

His arrest followed the kidnapping of one Mrs. Blessing Chiedu, a native of Umunede Kingdom, who was abducted on July 2, 2026, along the Ani-Ifekide Farm Road, Ubulu-Uku. The kidnappers had demanded a ransom of N100 million from her family.

Spokesperson for the SafeCity Security Service, Harrison Gwamnishu, disclosed this in a post on X on Wednesday

According to Gwamnishu, upon receiving the information, he escalated the matter, and the Delta State Police Command’s Anti-Kidnapping Squad, Asaba, led by CSP Osakpolor, swung into action.

He said using their Hydra Tech Surveillance System, a coordinated rescue operation was launched, Mrs. Blessing Chiedu, a native of Umunede, was successfully rescued alive and unharmed along the Ubulu-Unor/Ashama Road.

After her rescue, he said the team immediately launched a manhunt for the fleeing kidnappers until the early hours of Wednesday when their surveillance system located the gang to their hideout in the Ogwashi-Uku/Adonta Forest of the state.

“A gun battle ensued, during which our combined team overpowered the criminals. One of the most wanted suspects, Abubakar Usman, was successfully captured, while other members of the gang escaped into the forest with their firearms.

“Investigations reveal that Abubakar Usman and his gang have been responsible for several kidnapping operations across Igbodo, Umunede, and surrounding communities, where they have extorted millions of naira in ransom from innocent families,” he said.

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