By Henry Ukazu
I will like to start today’s article with some positive assertions. The joy of every progressive being is to get to the peak of their career in life. The joy of every young man/woman who wants to go into relationship or tie the marital knots is to get the best love experience ever which is not limited to having a faithful, caring, understanding, peaceful, loyal and loving partner; The joy of every rational person is to get the best out of life no matter what life throws at you. Nobody likes to be disrespected. As a rule of thumb, never you settle for less, especially when you deserve the best. It doesn’t matter if you are searching for a job, or a marriage partner, setting up a business, etc. All that matters is for you to give and demand the best.
During the course of this article, we shall be discussing relationship, job/career, personal living and life in general. It is instructive to know that you don’t have to agree with what you don’t want. A huge part of settling for less is by being a “yes man” or “yes woman”. If you agree to things you don’t really want, you are building a life that doesn’t reflect your own needs and identity.
This is one of the most interesting journeys every human being must undertake in one way or another. Whether you are dating, or you are already in a relationship or even married, you definitely have a preference for who you are willing to date or spend the rest of your life with. Just like Gary Chapman stated in his book “The Five Love Languages”: Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services, and time as the five love languages. According to him, most human beings respond to one or two of these love languages, so your ability to know what works for a particular being can give you an opportunity to relate closely with the person. It is quite unfortunate that many people don’t know what they need in a relationship, and in life, and this singular factor/act makes them settle for less. You must continually demand what you need and desire in life especially when you are ready to act/measure up with the same expectations. Requesting for more is not a crime, in fact, it is a requirement or prerequisite for you to have a blissful and harmonious relationship. When you settle for less than you desire in relationship, you will have to live with regret and unfulfillment. To make it more practical, if you have a taste for a particular kind of woman or a man with a specific character; particular body feature; academic qualification or career, please don’t settle for less, go for it because only you know that which will make you happy. Your desire in life shouldn’t be compromised on the altar of sentiments. It is often said that that once a woman knows her worth, she won’t settle for less again. As a word of advice, you deserve someone who is intentional and clear about their feelings for you. You should not have to sit around and wonder how they feel about you or where you stay in their life. Also, walk away from a relationship that isn’t making you a happier and better person. It is better to be single and alone than to be in a half-assed relationship that leads you to the deception that you are not good enough.
Let’s share some practical tips on how not to settle for less in a relationship
1. Gain self-awareness about your choices in partners and their willingness to meet your emotional and personal needs.
2. Focus on finding your passions rather than finding a soulmate. Embrace some of the pleasures of being single – take a class, join a book club, watch your favorite movies, etc. A renowned author Holly Riordan writes: “Instead of searching every corner of the earth for someone you love, you should be searching for something you love for your passion.”
3. Set an expectation of mutual respect. Look for friends and partners who admire and respect you for who you are. If they respect you, they’ll give you compliments, encourage you to do things that are in your best interest, and enjoy spending time with you.
4. Don’t compromise your values. Figure out your core beliefs and stand by them. Ask for what you need and speak up when something bothers you. Be more assertive (not aggressive) by stating your needs in a positive way.
5. Extend trust to a partner who is interested in planning a future with you. Does your partner call when they say they’re going to and follow through on commitments? When someone is interested in a relationship, they keep their agreements. Look for consistency between someone’s words and actions. Don’t waste your time on a relationship that doesn’t have a future. If he or she says they aren’t ready for a commitment, take them seriously!
Know Your Worth:
This is another interesting part of life. You need to know your worth as a human being. Knowing your worth is not limited to your lifestyle, it also transcends to your business. When you know your worth as a human being, you give yourself the due respect to know what you can tolerate and what you can’t tolerate. You also give other people the opportunity to know what you stand for in life. As you may know, if you are not willing to stand for something, you’ll for anything. Even if you have a business, your ability to define your value is very important for your people to take you serious. For instance, if you want to charge someone a service, it will be thoughtful to include the time you invest in delivery the service as opposed to the actual service you rendered. In concrete terms, you are really charging the person for your value and time as opposed to the price they are paying for the commodity. When you know your worth nobody will take you for a ride especially when you respect yourself. As a matter of fact, nobody will disrespect you without your consent. The better you feel, the easier it becomes for you to reject mistreatment. And when you resist the need to settle, you will be rewarded with opportunities.
Financial stability is the joy of any prospective employee or career professional. However, before you can get your dream career job you must have prepared yourself by learning the desired skills, have the required knowledge, understanding, information and training necessary to do the job. When you are fully equipped, you stand a better chance of demanding what you think you deserve. There are situations when people ask for a particular amount of money as a salary or even a raise in their pay but they fail to understand that nobody pays for you extra for what you do, except for the extra work or skill or even solution you offer. Furthermore, as a prospective employee, if you know what you truly deserve, don’t settle for less out of desperation. Sometimes, we miss greater and better opportunities out desperation when we take a cut and job that is far less than what we deserve. As a word of advice, always stand your ground with diplomacy by negotiating well for what you deserve.
Personal Life and Life in general:
This is similar to knowing your worth but with a slight difference as it relates to personal life and life in general. Life has a way of throwing many blows at us, but how we react to it is what makes the difference. We all have different shock absorbers. Your ability to adapt to different challenges and situations can either make or mar you. In as much as your personal life is different from your reputation or what people think about you, you should be able to define yourself and know what you can settle for. Sometimes, life throws so many bullets at you and makes you accept the appearance as reality forgetting that appearance is not reality. Don’t settle for anything life offers you. The only time you can settle for what life has given to you is when you have done your best and even at that never you settle for less until you have done your best and never give you accept anything less than you think you deserve devoid of pride and entitlement mentality. Remember, you need to have a positive mindset to appreciate the challenges life offers to you. Recognize that not getting what you want is not a personal curse.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via firstname.lastname@example.org
NIS Threatens Foreigners in Nigeria: Register Biometrics or Be Deported
The Nigeria Immigration Service (NIS) said it had stopped 1,111 people from entering Nigeria since August 20, 2019 when the country’s land borders were partially closed.
It also declared that any foreigner living in Nigeria that failed to register their biometrics with the NIS before January 19, 2020, would be deported.
The Comptroller-General, NIS, Muhammed Babandede, who disclosed this during a joint press briefing in Abuja, stated that these resolutions were in accordance with the Economic Community of West African States Protocol on Transit.
He said, “The law is very clear and it says ‘Do not enter any ECOWAS country unless you have a valid travel document’. So, it is important to state that if you don’t have travel documents, we cannot allow you to enter or leave Nigeria.”
Babandede said the NIS stopped 142 Nigerians from departing the country during the period, adding that over 1,000 immigrants from other nations had been denied entry into Nigeria
He said, “We have refused entry of 1,111 people who wanted to enter our territory, but because they don’t have the required travel documents we turned them back.
“We have also removed people who had already entered. In fact, 728 people have been removed. We have arrested Pakistanis and North Koreans at the borders and they are meant to be deported.”
On why foreigners staying in Nigeria must register their biometric, the NIS boss said, “Mr President approved an amnesty for all migrants staying in this country. And this means that any migrant that has overstayed in this country can have their biometrics registered between now and January 19, 2020.”
Stakeholders have assumed different positions concerning the total border closure. While palm oil producers applaud it, freight forwarders have condemned it.
There’s No Hunger in Nigeria, Food’s Very Cheap, Says FG
The Minister of Agriculture and Rural Development, Sabo Nanono, on Monday, said Nigeria was producing enough food to feed itself and send to neighbouring countries.
He described the cry by some Nigerians of hunger in the land as laughable, insisting that there was no hunger in Nigeria.
The minister, who spoke at a press briefing to mark the 2019 World Food Day in Abuja, said, “I think we are producing enough to feed ourselves. I think there is no hunger in Nigeria; there could be inconveniences. When people talk about hunger in this government, I just laugh.”
According to Nanono, food is very cheap in Nigeria compared to other countries.
“In this country, it is fairly cheap to buy food,” he stated.
He said the Federal Government decided to shut the borders owing to the excesses of neighbouring countries that had made the country a dumping ground for expired rice and other goods.
Nanono said, “That’s the basis for the closure of the border and I think Nigeria tried to make these neighbouring countries understand our predicament but to no avail. So long as these countries bordering us will not respect Nigerian stand on food importation, the borders will remain closed.”
FirstBank Hits 100th Year of Sponsoring Georgian Polo Cup, Longest Ever
In furtherance of its commitment to the growth and development of sports, nation building and the economy at large, First Bank of Nigeria Limited has announced its sponsorship of the Georgian Cup of the Kaduna Polo Tournament for the 100th consecutive year, possibly the longest running sports sponsorship in the world and a Guinness Book of Records potential. The 2019 edition of the epoch making sports championship runs from October 12 – 20, 2019 at the Kaduna Polo Club, Murtala Mohammed Square, Kaduna.
The Kaduna Georgian Cup Centenary Polo Tournament commenced in 1919, with FirstBank sponsoring the sports tournament for a 100 years. The Cup which was donated by the Bank to the Kaduna Polo Club, is the oldest and most respected Polo trophy in West Africa.
The 2018 edition of the tournament was won by team El-Amin, also billed to participate in the 2019 edition to defend its trophy, contested by other teams including Rubicon, Imani, Malcomines, and Lintex Agad. A total of 45 teams are billed for the 2019 tournament.
Speaking on FirstBank’s unwavering centenary sponsorship of the Tournament, the President, Kaduna Polo Club, Alhaji Suleman Abubakar said “the Georgian Cup Polo Tournament is indeed the Premier Polo Tournament in the country and it has proudly birthed many other sporting events across the country as well as the West African sub region as a whole. We are honoured to record such a milestone with FirstBank since the inception of the tournament 100 years ago.
“Indeed, FirstBank remains a noble brand close to our heart at the Kaduna Polo Club and the tournament has indeed been a catalyst of socio-economic growth of Kaduna and the nation as a whole” he concluded.
FirstBank’s sponsorship of the Georgian cup is perhaps the longest standing sports sponsorship in the world, a reflection of a long-lasting partnership that aligns with heritage, shared values, elite performance and quality, all attributes worthy of celebration. This record sponsorship has been filed by the Kaduna Polo Club for consideration by the Guinness Book of World Records under the longest main sponsorship of a sporting world championship title.
Expressing the Bank’s delight on the sponsorship, the Group Head, Marketing & Corporate Communications, First Bank of Nigeria Limited, Folake Ani-Mumuney said “2019 is indeed an eventful year for us and one of the many highpoints since we were founded 125 years ago. Part of our excitement stems from the pride we feel at having supported the Georgian Cup Polo Tournament for 100 years consistently. We are indeed proud to achieve this feat as it reinforces our leadership role as an institution committed to the continued growth and development of sports and the economy at large. The Georgian Cup Polo Tournament is one of the many heritage sporting sponsorships supported by FirstBank over the years. Another example is the FirstBank 58th Lagos Amateur Golf Open tournament, in partnership with Ikoyi Club 1938 holding in November this year which we have also supported for 57 years. We dare say perhaps another record in sports sponsorship”
This unprecedented Polo extravaganza boasts notable players such as Chris Mckenzie, the best South African polo player; Max Charlton, the Best British polo player as well as other top Argentine players in attendance amongst many other professionals.