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Food for Living: Harnessing the Fine Art of Silence and Patience
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There are many components that contribute to the success of a progressive mind. Some of them are silence and patience. These two are relatively connected in terms of success and human development. It is noteworthy that if one is not patient enough, it might be difficult for such a person to reap the benefits of their labour.
Imagine a farmer, who has planted crops; he would have to water it, add manure/fertilizer, remove the weeds before he will be able to harvest. If the farmer does not exercise patience in nurturing the plants by applying the steps above, the tendency of the crops not coming good will be high.
In the same way, a progressive being will have to practice the art of patience and silence when they are building an institution or project. Silence will enable you to observe people and scenarios critically, while patience will allow you to tolerate people.
In recent times, I have learnt to be patient, and not to be hard on myself. I have also learnt to be patient with people in addition to listening and observing people critically.
What is silence, therefore? Silence is not merely the absence of sound; it is a state of tranquility and peace, an opportunity to disconnect from the cacophony of daily life.
The role of silence and patience cannot be over emphasized. Whether you are an entrepreneur, parent, student, professor or clergy, you need to practice the art of silence and patience for you to have clarity about life. In marriage, one will have to listen to their partner to understand their point. Parents will have to be patient with their children; students need patience to study and understand their course work while clergymen need to master active listening skills to hear from God. The list is literally endless.
Without patience and silence, one will have a major challenge in marriage, academics, learning a trader/skill, or working in the corporate field. In human relationships, one needs to utilize listening skills and patience to work with others. My late mother once said to me that human beings are the most difficult beings on earth, without patience you can’t work with them.
In the same vein, one needs to understand how silence works. Silence is a skill that needs to be understudied, and many are yet to understand how silence works, especially in the workplace. Silence means several things for several people. Silence can be ambiguous; it can mean approval, rejection, in difference, among a whole lot. Silence can also be used in a deceitful way. In communication, sometimes, what’s important is not what is being said, but what is not being said.
Even as Christians, we were taught about the importance of silence when one is seeking the face of God. When we want to talk to God, we pray, but when God wants to talk to us, we meditate and through silence can hear him. One needs attentive listening to hear God. For instance, for not granting your request can mean He’s communicating a different message to you. One needs to exercise patience and silence to hear from God.
Let me share a practical example of how patience and silence work. Imagine praying to God or asking your benefactor for a favour, and there seems to be a delay. Did you know the reason might simply be because you have not earned the capacity to receive it. The reason God or your benefactor is delaying in answering you might be because they might still be working on you knowing that you might not be able to process or handle it if granted at once.
Sometimes in life, one will have to be mentally, socially, financially, and academically prepared for an opportunity, otherwise, disaster might meet you at the other side of the aisle. Just like marriage, one needs to be spiritually, mentally, and financially stable to dabble into it, or those involved have just inadvertently created a recipe for failure. That said, it is obvious that one needs silence to increase and grow in wisdom, strength, and learning sustain.
It’s also important to state that patience is not a sign of weakness or passivity, but rather a strength that can bring tremendous benefits to both our personal and professional lives.
Patience is a key ingredient in fostering healthy and meaningful relationships. It encourages us to listen attentively, empathize, and understand others’ perspectives. By giving people the time they need to express themselves, we cultivate trust, build rapport, and foster stronger connections.
On the other hand, patience helps you to control your emotions and respond objectively to certain situations when things don’t meet your expectations. Managing emotions is a skill that needs to be understudied.
To understand how patience and silence work, one needs a discerning spirit because patience us needed to listen and hear well.
Consider the case of Joseph in the Bible, who was thrown into the pit by his brothers; he was sold to merchant travelers and imprisoned by Pharaoh. In all these, he was patient. He never queried anyone. Does that mean he doesn’t have an option? No, I would think, sometimes in life, there are situations that are beyond one.
One might be thinking the universe has conspired to work against him, but that’s not the case, because the universe is working to bless him. Even when he was in prison for an unjust cause, he didn’t cause a scene. The moral here is that Joseph practiced silence in addition to being patient enough to know what life and God has in stock for him especially since he knows his hands are clean.
We all experience the same misfortune in life, your detractors might be setting you up for failure, but, in reality, they are setting you up for success.
To master the art of active silence; say nothing when you have nothing to say; only speak when you need to clarify or solidify you point; when it’s better to say nothing or left unsaid; when you don’t have a receptive or active listener; when you don’t want your feelings to be known; when you have the power to change something; when an opportunity comes your way, or when your opinion is requested.
Do you know a study by journal hearts that found that two minutes of silence can be more relaxing than listening to music? According to medical philosophers, new brain cells are regenerated because of silence. Practicing silence comes with numerous benefits, among which are: relieving stress and tension. It makes one a great thinker. Indeed, silence is golden and people who know how to be quiet tend to learn so much more.
In conclusion, patiently work hard in silence, and let your success make the noise. Silence encourages you to focus on your efforts, remain humble, and let the fruits of your endeavors be the evidence of your hard work. It discourages boastful behavior and instead, promotes modesty and quiet confidence.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Fresh facts have emerged over the abduction of school pupils and the killing of two teachers alongside an okada rider in Ahoro-Esiele, Oriire Local Government Area of Oyo State, as investigators uncovered how suspected informants allegedly maintained communication with the abductors through telephone conversations.
The Oyo State Police Command disclosed that investigators tracked the suspects through calls believed to have been exchanged with the bandits during and after the operation.
According to the police, the conversations allegedly contained details on how the criminals could successfully navigate routes within the National Park to hidden locations used as safe havens.
The breakthrough led to the arrest of no fewer than six suspects, who are currently in police custody and assisting security agencies with ongoing investigations into the gruesome incident.
Confirming the development on Tuesday morning, the State Police Public Relations Officer, CSP Olayinka Ayanlade, said the suspects were apprehended during coordinated security operations across different locations in the State.
“We have six suspects in custody and they are assisting the investigation,” Ayanlade said.
He added that preliminary investigations revealed that the suspects allegedly served as informants to the bandits responsible for the abduction and killings.
“Our findings showed that some of the suspects were in contact with the abductors through telephone conversations and investigators are analysing those communications as part of efforts to uncover the full network behind the crime,” he stated.
Ayanlade further disclosed that security agencies uncovered discussions allegedly centred on routes through the National Park and locations believed to have been used by the criminals as hideouts.
“The conversations contained information on how the abductors could move through the National Park undetected and reach safe locations,” he added.
The police spokesman explained that the suspects were arrested during joint operations involving the Nigerian Army, the Nigeria Police Force, the Western Nigeria Security Network codenamed Amotekun, the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC), and Agro-Rangers.
“The arrests were made possible through intelligence-driven operations carried out by joint security operatives working collaboratively to dismantle the criminal network,” Ayanlade said.
He assured residents that security agencies were intensifying efforts to apprehend other fleeing members of the syndicate linked to the attack.
“We are committed to ensuring that every individual connected to this criminal act is identified, arrested and brought to justice. Investigations are still ongoing,” he said.
The incident, which claimed the lives of two teachers and an Okada rider while school pupils were abducted last Friday, has continued to generate concern among residents of the affected communities and neighbouring areas in Oyo State.
Governor of Oyo State, Seyi Makinde, has confirmed that one of the teachers abducted during the recent terrorist attack on schools in Oriire LGA of the state, has been killed in captivity.
Speaking on Sunday during a press briefing on the incident, Makinde described the situation as “difficult and challenging”, saying the state government is intensifying efforts to rescue the remaining victims.
On Friday, gunmen riding motorcycles invaded communities within the Ahoro-Esiele/Yawota axis of Oriire, Ogbomoso, and abducted students and staff members of Community High School, Ahoro-Esiele, L.A. Primary School, Esiele, and Yawota Baptist Nursery and Primary School.
The attack left an assistant headmaster, identified as Joel Adesiyan, and a commercial motorcyclist dead.
According to Makinde, a video received by the state government confirmed the killing of one of the abductees identified as a mathematics teacher.
“What we know is that seven teachers in all were abducted and unfortunately, we got a video this morning that one of the teachers, the maths teacher, was killed by the terrorists this morning,” Makinde said.
Authorities have yet to confirm the exact number of schoolchildren abducted.
In the aftermath of the incident, videos recorded from captivity began circulating on social media, showing abducted teachers pleading with the government and Nigerians for urgent intervention.
One of the viral videos featured Rachael Alamu, principal of Community High School, Esiele, appealing to the government to help secure the release of the victims before they are killed.
Makinde detailed that six persons had been arrested within the affected locality over alleged links to the attackers, and that another three “persons of interest” were also arrested in connection with the attack.
“The information available from the Commissioner of Police is that six individuals have been arrested within the locality. Some of them were believed to perhaps be informants to people running logistics for the terrorists,” he said.
Following the attack, the Oyo Police Command announced the commencement of an intensive manhunt and rescue operation involving multiple security agencies.
Makinde said personnel of the police, military, the Western Nigeria Security Network codenamed Amotekun, and local hunters were mobilised immediately to pursue the attackers.
The governor said, however, some Amotekun operatives sustained injuries after encountering improvised explosive devices planted by the terrorists during the operation.
“After the incident, Amotekun, the police, military and hunters were mobilised to go after the terrorists and it was along that line that they ran into IEDs and some of the Amotekun operatives were wounded,” he said.
Sources told TheCable that the terrorists had initially opened fire on the security operatives who were approaching the Old Oyo national park on motorcycles, causing them to flee.
“When the shooting subsided, the operatives decided to go for their motorbikes. Unfortunately, a dynamite exploded against one Amotekun corps member and he was wounded. He has been taken to the hospital for medical attention,” a source said.
“Apart from air raid, the Old Oyo National Park Area can’t be easily accessed through infantry. It’s a long distance from the Oowe River which forms a natural landmark boundary for the park. Motorcycles would have to be used for the journey, but the noise of the approaching motorcycles alerted the terrorists.”
Makinde linked the attack to increasing pressure being mounted on terrorist groups in the north-east, warning that fleeing armed groups are moving into other parts of the country, including the south-west.
“With the pressure on the terrorists in the north-east theatre, they will keep moving southwards. Today, the governor of Kwara state has spoken to me. But the problem we have is that when you have pressure in one place, we must be prepared on this side to either repel or neutralise any terrorists fleeing the pressure,” he said.
The governor harped on the need for sustained government and security presence in vulnerable communities, warning that temporary military operations without long-term security measures could leave residents exposed to future attacks.
“If all we can do is clearance operations for a week or two and leave that place, the terrorists will come back and the people will become vulnerable,” he said.
He assured residents that the state government would be deploying military and non-military strategies to secure the release of the abducted victims and tackle the growing security threat.
“We have decided that we will adopt not just the kinetic approach. We have not taken this lightly,” he added.
Makinde also appealed for calm and patience from residents, acknowledging the complexity of the operation.
“I want to appeal to everyone that we are doing everything within our power to ensure that this would be resolved quickly and we bring our children back safely, but it is a very difficult and challenging situation so there may not be quick fixes,” he added.
Source: TheCable
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Complaining is part of human nature. We complain about our health, school, family, friends, work, finances, government, and life in general. Human beings literally complain about everything and anything.
Over time, I have come to discover something about life: complaining doesn’t solve a problem; it adds to it. According to the Book of Life, why worry when you can pray? The moral of this statement is that instead of worrying, why not look for solutions? When you worry, it only accumulates the problems, but when you explore avenues to solve a problem, you’re literally praying.
Complaining is like having a problem and apportioning blame to another person instead of fixing it. One of the hallmarks of great minds is the ability to solve problems, while little minds complain.
In the world of visionary leaders, they don’t complain; rather, they see complaints as challenges of life, while lesser minds see complaints as problems of life. Again, while great leaders see problems as a gateway to make money and succeed by proffering solutions, little minds see problems as obstacles limiting their growth to succeed. Same action but different results and consequences.
As human beings, we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we have. It’s only when we appreciate what we have that we give room for opportunities and favors to come to us. It’s unfortunate some of fucus on what we are going through instead of what we are becoming.
It’s instructive to note that complaints don’t lead us anywhere, rather it hinders our progress. Nobody likes complainers; complainers are usually seen as energy suckers because all they do is take without giving. Instead of complaining, why not practice gratitude? Gratitude helps to draw and attract opportunities.
In the world of human relations, the ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. One must learn to nurture relationships. Human beings can be difficult to manage. While some exhibit meekness, gratitude, cheerfulness, and loyalty, some exhibit bitterness, frustration, depression, sadness, and sorrow. What most people don’t know is that we have the ability to change how we manage our lives and how we react to what life throws at us through our attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not insinuating that complaining is wrong; rather, I’m insinuating it’s not healthy for our mental health. The only time we can complain about something is when we are proffering a solution; by so doing, we have highlighted the problems and proffered the solution.
Complaints make us blind to see the good in others. As a word of advice, if you focus exclusively on the shortcomings of the people with whom you have to relate and forget that they have a good point, it will be difficult to see the good in them.
According to Yomi Garnett, focus on the good side of people and be intentional in learning about their mindset and inquire what made them who they are. Also, focusing on the good side of people despite their bad or weak side makes them feel valuable as human beings, and by so doing, we show our empathic personality.
In conclusion, resolve today to stop complaining and start appreciating the challenges of life with gratitude.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
