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Food for Living: Help Yourself
Dear Destiny Friends,
The best helping hand you will ever find is at the end of your own arm – John Mason
One of the best forms of love, if not the best, is self-love. The ultimate truth is that apart from the creator, nobody can love you more than you can love yourself.
As human beings, sometimes, we depend on other people’s love to feel loved. Some people even desire social media and online love just to be accepted into the society. No doubt, everyone loves attention and approval.
Everyone loves to be accepted, appreciated, and recognized, but some of us are not ready to do the needful to attract the desired attention. The simple truth about life is that nobody can give you attention, neither will anyone give you recognition if you have not given them a reason to do so. So, one needs to help themselves before other people can help them.
Helping yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. When you help yourself, the joy hits differently. Helping yourself is not limited to adding value to your life. Did you know that self-care is a lifestyle, and it is one of the ways to help your life. Some of the ways self-care can help your life are engaging in regular exercise, eating healthy, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and sleeping well. Self-help also involves taking care of your mental, emotional, physical, environment, recreational, financial, social, physical, and spiritual needs.
Did you know that practicing simple self-care activities can help one achieve greater mental clarity, and gain a better understanding of their feelings?
Helping oneself is okay so long as it doesn’t involve unlawful actions or breach of peace. It’s sad to see people engage in illegality just to get what they want.
Those that depend on fellow human beings for help might be disappointed. Even though they may not have the intention to fail you, life sometimes, happens. They too might be going through personal challenges. Always leave a space in your heart to forgive or overlook when supposed friends, mentors, family members, mentors and benefactors don’t come through for you.
The sad reality of life is that, most times, we like to receive from resourceful persons, but we don’t seem to ask who will give to them. Do you think manna will fall from heaven for them? No. They must find creative ways to make ends meet. One of my mentors once stated, ‘you can work alone, but you can’t eat alone’.
What you don’t know is that these resourceful people were able to help themselves. That’s why they were able to get assistance from established institutions and resourceful people. Some of them might have had a business plans which they pitched to a team of panelists. Some developed programmes, sowed seeds, traveled far and wide and made mistakes while searching for the right path. These are some ways of helping oneself.
I have always stated, we all go through a secret frustration which nobody knows. For a fact, it is easier for people to assist you when you have added adequate value to your life. When you do, people won’t see you as a liability, rather, they will see you as a resource being.
In my journey towards life, I have realized that when you have a mentor or leader you respect, your ability to do the work will enable them to put the icing on the cake. I vividly remember when I published my first book, I had to reach out to Dr. Chief Dele Momodu to write the Foreword to my book. He was kind enough to accept my request. Imagine, if I had not written the book, the opportunity wouldn’t have arisen.
Now, you see that I was able to help myself before help came through. Isn’t it true that heaven helps those who help themselves.
In contemporary times, sometimes, we hope and rely on family members, friends, mentors, associates, mentees, benefactors and more, to help our craft just because we feel and think they are in a better position to assist us, depending on their position or status, but the reality is that sometimes we ask people things that are beyond them and when they refuse to assist, we feel offended.
One of my mentors, Dr. Yomi Garnett, rightly stated as follows, “So your aunt won’t help you financially. Your well-connected uncle won’t give you an introductory note to his minister-friend. Refuse to despise or resent them. Forgive them. Make excuses for them, such as they have enough challenges of their own. Then promptly take responsibility for your own life and your own success by asking God to show you His way.”
I can relate to Dr. Garnett’s statement because, in the past, I have tried to reach some people, some I shared my programmes for consideration, while others came via introduction. In most of these engagements, I couldn’t get what I wanted either because I didn’t come prepared, or was yet to develop the required capacity and competence to execute the task. However, when I developed expertise, they came for me, and in some cases, I was highly recommended. This is the reality of life; people generally love ripe fruits as opposed to unripe fruits which don’t taste nice.
During my formative years, I depended on people to the extent I feel entitled for their support because I felt they were rich, wealthy, and highly connected. I didn’t realize life doesn’t work that way. It was much later in life I realized that it will be easier for them to share their network and net worth with me when I have helped myself. As a matter of fact, that has become my fate because I have had opportunities to relate and work closely with some of my benefactors.
Today, I charge you to make an intentional effort to help yourself. Give your life a meaning. Stop complaining and start to take action to change the course of your life. You are not alone in this struggle; we are all in it together. Remember, nobody can write your story more than you and if you don’t talk about yourself, nobody will talk about you.
In conclusion, endeavor to help yourself so others can help you.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
News
‘He Died a Natural Death’ – Katsina Govt Announces Death of Gen Rabe Abubakar in Kidnappers’ Captivity
A Retired Major-General and former Director of Defence Information, Rabe Abubakar, is dead.
According to the Katsina state government, Abubakar died in bandits’ captivity.
The retired major-general and his wife were abducted in May while travelling through Katsina.
On June 6, a video showing Abubakar and his wife appealing to the Katsina government for the release of detained bandits and livestock surfaced online.
A statement on Saturday by Nasiru Mu’azu, commissioner for internal security and home affairs, said Abubakar died from complications of diabetes and hypertension.
“It is with profound sadness that we confirm the General’s death while in bandits’ captivity,” the statement reads.
“Despite the relentless and concerted efforts of the State Government and various Security Agencies to secure his safe release, the situation ended in this tragedy.
“The deceased Retired General died a natural death from complications of diabetes and hypertension.
“His abduction and subsequent death are not only a loss to his family and Katsina State but a monumental loss to the entire country.
“His Excellency, the Executive Governor of Katsina State Malam Dikko Umaru Radda, PhD, CON, extends his deepest condolences to the family of the late General and the country at-large.
“The Governor has described this incident as a “dark moment” and a reminder of the urgent need for a collective and intensified front against the criminal elements threatening the peace of our communities.”
The Katsina government added that it remains committed to working with the federal government and security forces to ensure that those responsible for the heinous act are brought to justice.
“We assure the citizens of Katsina State that our resolve to eliminate banditry and ensure the safety of all residents remains unshaken,” the statement added.
“Our thoughts and prayers are with the bereaved family during this difficult time. May the soul of the departed Retired Major General Rabe Abdulakdir rest in eternal peace.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The power in a name, or inspiration and influence they come with, when properly triggered and applied, cannot be overestimated. Influence and name are powerful, and run pari passu. This is because in the journey of life, there are certain heights one can’t attain even with their resources. And that’s where ‘names’ and influence come in.
One might have all the grades, skills, and knowledge, but getting an opportunity might be difficult. Imagine having a good grade in school, but can’t find a commensurate job. As a matter of fact, someone with less qualification and experience might get the job simply because a man of influence endorsed their candidacy. That’s why the saying; ‘a good name is better than riches’ is tantamount to a man with access to power is more influential than a man with knowledge but no access.
For one to succeed in our contemporary society, they need a helper who could either be a mentor, benefactor, an inspiration, or someone with influence, or all in one. All these refer to one thing – name. Names are powerful and open doors. A name can serve as an inspiration which can open doors of opportunity for anyone. I remember the day one of my mentors said to me that for his name to be on my resumè, I must earn it. That’s how powerful names can be.
To further buttress how powerful a name can be, let’s consider the following – In 2018, as a budding author, I reached out to one of my mentors, Chief Dele Momodu to give me a column to write in his online newspaper which is considered one of the biggest, if not the biggest online newspaper in Nigeria. He graciously agreed, advising me to be consistent.
Guess what, since that date, I haven’t missed a week. One may be wondering how I have been consistent,; well the answer is not far fetched, I couldn’t imagine failing Chief Dele Momodu. I couldn’t imagine producing articles that are below standard. In all sincerity, assuming someone else without a big name gave me the opportunity, maybe, I wouldn’t have taken it very seriously like I did for Chief Dele Momodu. This goes to tell you names are powerful.
Can you imagine working for the President of the United States of America or Elon Musk? One will almost be perfect. The same energy and detailed attention one pays to President Trump or Elon Musk will be different if given an opportunity to work for an elected council man or a businessman. This is because one would not like to risk a lifetime opportunity to serve with a man of influence.
The importance of inspiration in the life of a progressive man cannot be overemphasized. Everyone needs inspiration. Inspiration can come from various angles. It can be from a benefactor, mentor, teacher, parent, friend, a Minister of the gospel, or even one’s child.
Let me share a personal experience I had with another of my mentors – Dr. Joe Abah. In 2025, he organized #fitseptember physical exercise where he advised his followers to do a 30 push for the month of September. Again, in January, he organized #fitjanuary and I actively participated in it, and since then I haven’t missed one single day without exercising for at least ten minutes. Why is this analysis important? The name Dr. Joe Abah is a household name in Nigeria social-political space. Assuming it was a regular person who made the announcement on X, the comment wouldn’t have attracted the kind of attention that made it go viral.
Furthermore, it is worthy of note that there are five kinds of authority when it comes to principle of power in a name. They are; Revealed knowledge, empirical knowledge, rational knowledge, intuitive knowledge and authoritative knowledge. The focus here is on authoritative knowledge.
One may be wondering what authoritative knowledge is. This is a kind of knowledge reserved for those who have expertise on a particular issue or subject matter expert. When such a person speaks, their words are like law.
Let’s talk about men of influence. Men of influence are priceless. According to Apostle Joshua Selman, there are four kinds of destiny helpers: Divine Connectors, Men of Influence, Gifted People, and Burden Bearers. For the sake of this article, I will focus on men of influence. These are gatekeepers, mentors, or established experts with high credibility. Their endorsement or advocacy can override limitations, grant you access to closed doors, and elevate your trajectory.
In summary, honor men, but fear God because men are vessels God uses to bless people and humanity.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Senate, on Thursday, directed the Department of State Services (DSS), the Nigeria Police Force and other security agencies to intensify efforts to track, identify and arrest bandits and terrorists, who openly flaunt their activities and wealth on social media platforms.
The upper chamber said the growing trend of criminal groups operating openly online and displaying proceeds of crime without fear of arrest poses a serious threat to national security and undermines public confidence in the authority of the State.
The resolution followed a debate on a motion sponsored by Senator Sunday Karimi (Kogi West) on the worsening security situation in Kogi West Senatorial District and other parts of the country.
Contributing to the debate, Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan (Kogi Central) expressed concern over what she described as the increasing boldness of bandits and terrorists, alleging that some criminal groups now use social media platforms to showcase their operations and distribute large sums of money.
According to her, suspected bandits recently conducted a giveaway on TikTok, allegedly distributing more than N100 million within 30 minutes through their social media accounts.
She argued that such activities provide security agencies with sufficient digital footprints and intelligence leads to identify and apprehend the perpetrators.
“Bandits and terrorists who carry out these activities live on their social media handles,” Akpoti-Uduaghan said.
“Two days ago on TikTok, bandits conducted a giveaway, distributing over N100 million within the space of 30 minutes through their social media handles.
“I wonder why the Cybercrime Unit and the Police Force generally cannot track these activities and apprehend them since they are on social media.”
Her proposal that the Nigerian Police Force National Cybercrime Centre and other relevant agencies should intensify surveillance of social media platforms and prosecute criminals who openly advertise their activities online received overwhelming support from lawmakers and was seconded by Senator Osita Ngwu (Enugu West).
Responding, Senate President Godswill Akpabio condemned the public display of criminal exploits and huge sums of money on social media, describing it as a direct challenge to the authority of government and security institutions.
“The DSS should be able to track their movements and arrest them because this is a show of impunity, as if there is no law at all,” Akpabio said.
He noted that the online display of cash and criminal activities was designed to ridicule government efforts and create the impression that security agencies were powerless.
“I do not see why we should not have control over the social media space. That idea of showing themselves, showing the cash collected and displaying it is a way of challenging government,” he added.
Akpabio urged heads of security agencies to treat the issue as a major national security concern and take immediate action against those involved.
He further warned that the Senate would demand explanations from relevant authorities whenever individuals who openly reveal their identities and activities online are not apprehended.
The debate arose from Senator Karimi’s motion drawing attention to the escalating wave of terrorist attacks, kidnappings and killings across communities in Kogi West Senatorial District.
Karimi lamented that armed groups had turned several communities into theatres of violence, forcing residents to flee their homes while disrupting economic, social and educational activities.
He cited the recent attack on Iluke-Bunu in Kabba/Bunu Local Government Area, where gunmen reportedly invaded a secondary school and attempted to abduct students writing the Senior Secondary School Certificate Examination.
According to him, the attack claimed the lives of the school’s vice principal, a teacher and another resident.
The senator also recounted a series of kidnappings and killings across Kabba/Bunu, Ijumu, Yagba West, Lokoja and Kogi local government areas, warning that insecurity in the district was worsening and required urgent intervention.
Following deliberations, the Senate adopted a series of resolutions aimed at tackling the deteriorating security situation across the country.
The lawmakers called on President Bola Tinubu, the Inspector-General of Police and the National Assembly to urgently work towards establishing an appropriate legal framework for the creation of state police.
The Senate also urged the Federal government and the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to strengthen the implementation of cashless transaction policies as part of efforts to curb ransom payments and other criminal financial activities.
It further called on the Federal Ministry of Interior and the Nigerian Immigration Service to tighten border security and surveillance to stem the influx of arms and the movement of terrorists and other criminal elements into the country.
The upper chamber equally advised State governments against negotiating or entering peace agreements with terrorists and armed bandits, maintaining that such arrangements have often failed to produce lasting solutions and, in some cases, emboldened criminal groups.
