News
Food for Living: Help Yourself
Dear Destiny Friends,
The best helping hand you will ever find is at the end of your own arm – John Mason
One of the best forms of love, if not the best, is self-love. The ultimate truth is that apart from the creator, nobody can love you more than you can love yourself.
As human beings, sometimes, we depend on other people’s love to feel loved. Some people even desire social media and online love just to be accepted into the society. No doubt, everyone loves attention and approval.
Everyone loves to be accepted, appreciated, and recognized, but some of us are not ready to do the needful to attract the desired attention. The simple truth about life is that nobody can give you attention, neither will anyone give you recognition if you have not given them a reason to do so. So, one needs to help themselves before other people can help them.
Helping yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. When you help yourself, the joy hits differently. Helping yourself is not limited to adding value to your life. Did you know that self-care is a lifestyle, and it is one of the ways to help your life. Some of the ways self-care can help your life are engaging in regular exercise, eating healthy, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and sleeping well. Self-help also involves taking care of your mental, emotional, physical, environment, recreational, financial, social, physical, and spiritual needs.
Did you know that practicing simple self-care activities can help one achieve greater mental clarity, and gain a better understanding of their feelings?
Helping oneself is okay so long as it doesn’t involve unlawful actions or breach of peace. It’s sad to see people engage in illegality just to get what they want.
Those that depend on fellow human beings for help might be disappointed. Even though they may not have the intention to fail you, life sometimes, happens. They too might be going through personal challenges. Always leave a space in your heart to forgive or overlook when supposed friends, mentors, family members, mentors and benefactors don’t come through for you.
The sad reality of life is that, most times, we like to receive from resourceful persons, but we don’t seem to ask who will give to them. Do you think manna will fall from heaven for them? No. They must find creative ways to make ends meet. One of my mentors once stated, ‘you can work alone, but you can’t eat alone’.
What you don’t know is that these resourceful people were able to help themselves. That’s why they were able to get assistance from established institutions and resourceful people. Some of them might have had a business plans which they pitched to a team of panelists. Some developed programmes, sowed seeds, traveled far and wide and made mistakes while searching for the right path. These are some ways of helping oneself.
I have always stated, we all go through a secret frustration which nobody knows. For a fact, it is easier for people to assist you when you have added adequate value to your life. When you do, people won’t see you as a liability, rather, they will see you as a resource being.
In my journey towards life, I have realized that when you have a mentor or leader you respect, your ability to do the work will enable them to put the icing on the cake. I vividly remember when I published my first book, I had to reach out to Dr. Chief Dele Momodu to write the Foreword to my book. He was kind enough to accept my request. Imagine, if I had not written the book, the opportunity wouldn’t have arisen.
Now, you see that I was able to help myself before help came through. Isn’t it true that heaven helps those who help themselves.
In contemporary times, sometimes, we hope and rely on family members, friends, mentors, associates, mentees, benefactors and more, to help our craft just because we feel and think they are in a better position to assist us, depending on their position or status, but the reality is that sometimes we ask people things that are beyond them and when they refuse to assist, we feel offended.
One of my mentors, Dr. Yomi Garnett, rightly stated as follows, “So your aunt won’t help you financially. Your well-connected uncle won’t give you an introductory note to his minister-friend. Refuse to despise or resent them. Forgive them. Make excuses for them, such as they have enough challenges of their own. Then promptly take responsibility for your own life and your own success by asking God to show you His way.”
I can relate to Dr. Garnett’s statement because, in the past, I have tried to reach some people, some I shared my programmes for consideration, while others came via introduction. In most of these engagements, I couldn’t get what I wanted either because I didn’t come prepared, or was yet to develop the required capacity and competence to execute the task. However, when I developed expertise, they came for me, and in some cases, I was highly recommended. This is the reality of life; people generally love ripe fruits as opposed to unripe fruits which don’t taste nice.
During my formative years, I depended on people to the extent I feel entitled for their support because I felt they were rich, wealthy, and highly connected. I didn’t realize life doesn’t work that way. It was much later in life I realized that it will be easier for them to share their network and net worth with me when I have helped myself. As a matter of fact, that has become my fate because I have had opportunities to relate and work closely with some of my benefactors.
Today, I charge you to make an intentional effort to help yourself. Give your life a meaning. Stop complaining and start to take action to change the course of your life. You are not alone in this struggle; we are all in it together. Remember, nobody can write your story more than you and if you don’t talk about yourself, nobody will talk about you.
In conclusion, endeavor to help yourself so others can help you.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Fresh facts have emerged over the abduction of school pupils and the killing of two teachers alongside an okada rider in Ahoro-Esiele, Oriire Local Government Area of Oyo State, as investigators uncovered how suspected informants allegedly maintained communication with the abductors through telephone conversations.
The Oyo State Police Command disclosed that investigators tracked the suspects through calls believed to have been exchanged with the bandits during and after the operation.
According to the police, the conversations allegedly contained details on how the criminals could successfully navigate routes within the National Park to hidden locations used as safe havens.
The breakthrough led to the arrest of no fewer than six suspects, who are currently in police custody and assisting security agencies with ongoing investigations into the gruesome incident.
Confirming the development on Tuesday morning, the State Police Public Relations Officer, CSP Olayinka Ayanlade, said the suspects were apprehended during coordinated security operations across different locations in the State.
“We have six suspects in custody and they are assisting the investigation,” Ayanlade said.
He added that preliminary investigations revealed that the suspects allegedly served as informants to the bandits responsible for the abduction and killings.
“Our findings showed that some of the suspects were in contact with the abductors through telephone conversations and investigators are analysing those communications as part of efforts to uncover the full network behind the crime,” he stated.
Ayanlade further disclosed that security agencies uncovered discussions allegedly centred on routes through the National Park and locations believed to have been used by the criminals as hideouts.
“The conversations contained information on how the abductors could move through the National Park undetected and reach safe locations,” he added.
The police spokesman explained that the suspects were arrested during joint operations involving the Nigerian Army, the Nigeria Police Force, the Western Nigeria Security Network codenamed Amotekun, the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC), and Agro-Rangers.
“The arrests were made possible through intelligence-driven operations carried out by joint security operatives working collaboratively to dismantle the criminal network,” Ayanlade said.
He assured residents that security agencies were intensifying efforts to apprehend other fleeing members of the syndicate linked to the attack.
“We are committed to ensuring that every individual connected to this criminal act is identified, arrested and brought to justice. Investigations are still ongoing,” he said.
The incident, which claimed the lives of two teachers and an Okada rider while school pupils were abducted last Friday, has continued to generate concern among residents of the affected communities and neighbouring areas in Oyo State.
Governor of Oyo State, Seyi Makinde, has confirmed that one of the teachers abducted during the recent terrorist attack on schools in Oriire LGA of the state, has been killed in captivity.
Speaking on Sunday during a press briefing on the incident, Makinde described the situation as “difficult and challenging”, saying the state government is intensifying efforts to rescue the remaining victims.
On Friday, gunmen riding motorcycles invaded communities within the Ahoro-Esiele/Yawota axis of Oriire, Ogbomoso, and abducted students and staff members of Community High School, Ahoro-Esiele, L.A. Primary School, Esiele, and Yawota Baptist Nursery and Primary School.
The attack left an assistant headmaster, identified as Joel Adesiyan, and a commercial motorcyclist dead.
According to Makinde, a video received by the state government confirmed the killing of one of the abductees identified as a mathematics teacher.
“What we know is that seven teachers in all were abducted and unfortunately, we got a video this morning that one of the teachers, the maths teacher, was killed by the terrorists this morning,” Makinde said.
Authorities have yet to confirm the exact number of schoolchildren abducted.
In the aftermath of the incident, videos recorded from captivity began circulating on social media, showing abducted teachers pleading with the government and Nigerians for urgent intervention.
One of the viral videos featured Rachael Alamu, principal of Community High School, Esiele, appealing to the government to help secure the release of the victims before they are killed.
Makinde detailed that six persons had been arrested within the affected locality over alleged links to the attackers, and that another three “persons of interest” were also arrested in connection with the attack.
“The information available from the Commissioner of Police is that six individuals have been arrested within the locality. Some of them were believed to perhaps be informants to people running logistics for the terrorists,” he said.
Following the attack, the Oyo Police Command announced the commencement of an intensive manhunt and rescue operation involving multiple security agencies.
Makinde said personnel of the police, military, the Western Nigeria Security Network codenamed Amotekun, and local hunters were mobilised immediately to pursue the attackers.
The governor said, however, some Amotekun operatives sustained injuries after encountering improvised explosive devices planted by the terrorists during the operation.
“After the incident, Amotekun, the police, military and hunters were mobilised to go after the terrorists and it was along that line that they ran into IEDs and some of the Amotekun operatives were wounded,” he said.
Sources told TheCable that the terrorists had initially opened fire on the security operatives who were approaching the Old Oyo national park on motorcycles, causing them to flee.
“When the shooting subsided, the operatives decided to go for their motorbikes. Unfortunately, a dynamite exploded against one Amotekun corps member and he was wounded. He has been taken to the hospital for medical attention,” a source said.
“Apart from air raid, the Old Oyo National Park Area can’t be easily accessed through infantry. It’s a long distance from the Oowe River which forms a natural landmark boundary for the park. Motorcycles would have to be used for the journey, but the noise of the approaching motorcycles alerted the terrorists.”
Makinde linked the attack to increasing pressure being mounted on terrorist groups in the north-east, warning that fleeing armed groups are moving into other parts of the country, including the south-west.
“With the pressure on the terrorists in the north-east theatre, they will keep moving southwards. Today, the governor of Kwara state has spoken to me. But the problem we have is that when you have pressure in one place, we must be prepared on this side to either repel or neutralise any terrorists fleeing the pressure,” he said.
The governor harped on the need for sustained government and security presence in vulnerable communities, warning that temporary military operations without long-term security measures could leave residents exposed to future attacks.
“If all we can do is clearance operations for a week or two and leave that place, the terrorists will come back and the people will become vulnerable,” he said.
He assured residents that the state government would be deploying military and non-military strategies to secure the release of the abducted victims and tackle the growing security threat.
“We have decided that we will adopt not just the kinetic approach. We have not taken this lightly,” he added.
Makinde also appealed for calm and patience from residents, acknowledging the complexity of the operation.
“I want to appeal to everyone that we are doing everything within our power to ensure that this would be resolved quickly and we bring our children back safely, but it is a very difficult and challenging situation so there may not be quick fixes,” he added.
Source: TheCable
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Complaining is part of human nature. We complain about our health, school, family, friends, work, finances, government, and life in general. Human beings literally complain about everything and anything.
Over time, I have come to discover something about life: complaining doesn’t solve a problem; it adds to it. According to the Book of Life, why worry when you can pray? The moral of this statement is that instead of worrying, why not look for solutions? When you worry, it only accumulates the problems, but when you explore avenues to solve a problem, you’re literally praying.
Complaining is like having a problem and apportioning blame to another person instead of fixing it. One of the hallmarks of great minds is the ability to solve problems, while little minds complain.
In the world of visionary leaders, they don’t complain; rather, they see complaints as challenges of life, while lesser minds see complaints as problems of life. Again, while great leaders see problems as a gateway to make money and succeed by proffering solutions, little minds see problems as obstacles limiting their growth to succeed. Same action but different results and consequences.
As human beings, we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we have. It’s only when we appreciate what we have that we give room for opportunities and favors to come to us. It’s unfortunate some of fucus on what we are going through instead of what we are becoming.
It’s instructive to note that complaints don’t lead us anywhere, rather it hinders our progress. Nobody likes complainers; complainers are usually seen as energy suckers because all they do is take without giving. Instead of complaining, why not practice gratitude? Gratitude helps to draw and attract opportunities.
In the world of human relations, the ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. One must learn to nurture relationships. Human beings can be difficult to manage. While some exhibit meekness, gratitude, cheerfulness, and loyalty, some exhibit bitterness, frustration, depression, sadness, and sorrow. What most people don’t know is that we have the ability to change how we manage our lives and how we react to what life throws at us through our attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not insinuating that complaining is wrong; rather, I’m insinuating it’s not healthy for our mental health. The only time we can complain about something is when we are proffering a solution; by so doing, we have highlighted the problems and proffered the solution.
Complaints make us blind to see the good in others. As a word of advice, if you focus exclusively on the shortcomings of the people with whom you have to relate and forget that they have a good point, it will be difficult to see the good in them.
According to Yomi Garnett, focus on the good side of people and be intentional in learning about their mindset and inquire what made them who they are. Also, focusing on the good side of people despite their bad or weak side makes them feel valuable as human beings, and by so doing, we show our empathic personality.
In conclusion, resolve today to stop complaining and start appreciating the challenges of life with gratitude.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
