By Henry Ukazu

Dear destiny friends,

Nobody is immune to stress. Fact. Stress is an admixture of natural and emotional causes. Fact. Stress can be managed. Fact.

According to a sage, managing stress is like sitting on a chair; one will continue to adjust until he gets a comfortable position.

In recent times, stress has been laid side by side with the female specie, in the sense that both has a lot in common. As a result, a school of thought has opined that managing a woman is akin to managing stress. But the good news is both can be managed if the right parameter or plug is pulled.

Stress, like the woman, is a “necessary evil” that can’t be avoided. It is, like a woman, a heavy to carry, and so cannot be carried with one hand. A friend once jokingly told me that ‘when you carry a woman who is too heavy for you, consider “offloading” her’. And that’s what we do to stress when it encroaches.

As human beings, we all experience stress in different areas and stages of life. There’s nothing anyone does that does not involve stress. As a student, one must undergo the stress of reading to pass an examination. As a woman, one must undergo the stress of child delivery and raising a child.

As a man, one must involve the stress of working and providing for the family. As a career professional, an employee must undergo the stress of being punctual at work and doing the needful to gain recognition. Even as a Christian, one must avoid certain practices to stay faithful in the sight of God. The list is literally endless.

The big question we must answer or deal with here is how do we manage stress? There are different ways we handle stress just like there are different ways we solve problems. We don’t solve a problem the way the problems come to us; it takes wisdom to solve a problem. Sometimes, we solve a problem with silence, action, and technicality. That’s the same way we handle stress.

I will be sharing helpful tips we can use to handle stress. As human beings, whenever we experience stress, we tend to forget what’s happening around us and focus on the stress. We even forget the positive things that have happened to us. For instance, a woman who is pregnant will technically forget all the good things her partner or anyone  has done for her, she will even forget what’s happening in the world, her focus will be on the stress of the pregnancy.  That’s the reality of life.

So here is my candid advice for anyone who is experiencing stress.

Identify stress exist

First, one will have to admit he/she is experiencing or undergoing stress, and as such seek help. I say this because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. When the problem has been identified, the next step is to look for the person with the solution. According to the sage, knowledge is of two kinds, it’s either you know the answer, or you know where to find it.

Practice Gratitude.

It’s indisputable we do have good and bad days as humans, so a great way of living life is by trying to be grateful for what life brings to us knowing fully well the universe has previously brought good days to us. It’s sad, as human beings, we tend to mostly focus on the negative things humans have done to us instead of focusing more on the good things they have done.

Let me share a story I recently about gratitude, there are two friends (Mr. A and Mr. B) who were on a journey, Mr. A slapped Mr. B and Mr. B wrote on the sand, my best friend slapped me. When they got to the river, Mr. B had a hard time crossing over, and Mr. B assisted him, and when they got to the shore, Mr. A wrote on the rock, my best friend saved my life.

When they got to their destination, Mr. A asked Mr. B, “Why did you write on the sand when I slapped you and wrote on the rock I saved your life when I saved your life?” Mr. B answered, when anyone hurts you, it’s advisable to write it on the sand because the water will wash it away, but when anyone does you a favor write it on your heart (rock) where it can’t be erased. This is the attitude of dealing with stress. The moral is when we focus on the negative aspect of life, it has a way of increasing our sorrows.

Still on gratitude, as a healthy way of living life, before the day is over reflect on your day and review your accomplishment by appreciating yourself. Most of the time, we don’t take time to celebrate little wins. If you do this, it’s capable of relieving your stress.

Planning

Another way of managing stress is by planning. As humans, sometimes, we tend to leave important things until the last minute before we begin to prepare. This attitude is capable of leading to stress because we will be joggling between meeting up and not forgetting anything. But when we plan, we reduce the stress magnet. So, here is my advice, consider planning your day at least 24hours to avoid unnecessary stress hormones creeping in.

Still on planning, it’s highly advisable for one to avoid wasting time on frivolous activities. There are lots of time-wasting activities that don’t add meaningful progress and value to our life. Most of the time, we spend major time on minor activities that have little impact in our life and spend less time on major activities that’s suppose to add value to our life.

Rest

Do you know that stress can be reduced by taking a thirty-minute walk? Most people don’t know that nature is beautiful. Spending time with nature is a blissful experience most people are yet to explore. For instance, walking has a way of boosting our mental state of mind. Walking is not only a form of exercise, but also a form of resting.

Also, consider taking a deep breath every morning by breathing excessively. This habit if properly nurtured can be a game changer. For instance, if you encounter an unpleasant situation, just breathe in and out deeply and say, this too shall pass. Also consider drinking water every day, it has a way of relieving one from stress.

Practice Kindness

A great act of stress reduction that has greatly helped me is by practicing acts of kindness. On a personal note, whenever I’m stressed, and I see someone who is feeling stressed and I’m able to counsel or assist the person to feel good, I tend to feel much better. Overtime, I began to wonder, does it mean for me to be happy, I must show other people love and concern. The inherent message here is that I do feel good whenever I put smiles on people’s faces. This is a rare trait only people with a heart of service and empathy can exhibit. Consider doing a rare act of kindness and see the effect it will have on your mental being.

Reading

Do you know some people relieve stress by reading? Yes, reading has an impact on our mindset. Christians who read the Bible do feel a form of relief especially when they see stories which are related to theirs. Also, the Bible has a way of encouraging us to be strong when we go through storms. For instance, the Bible states in Matthew 11:28, “come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy load and I will give you rest”.

Do you know when we learn something new everyday, it can help us to reduce stress because it will take our mind out from the stress we are dealing with. So, consider reading or learning something new today.

Declutter Your Mind.

Our mindset is very strong. It’s whatever we feed the mind that it will process. Decluttering the mind is a great way of relieving stress. We juggle through many things due to the vicissitudes of life, we deal with family issues, work issues, personal issues, mental issues, business, government etc. All this has the capacity to weigh us down and thereby give us stress.

We can declutter the mind by meditating at least 30 minutes every day. I personally do this at intervals during the day, but mostly during my quiet moments in the morning and night. When we allow stress to fill our mind, there’s little we can do. To fix stress, I do apply the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr which says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

In conclusion, stress is not healthy for our mental health. To be productive, one must be mentally, spiritually, physically, and financially stable. So, whenever one experiences stress, please seek help.