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Food for Living: How to Handle Stress
By Henry Ukazu
Dear destiny friends,
Nobody is immune to stress. Fact. Stress is an admixture of natural and emotional causes. Fact. Stress can be managed. Fact.
According to a sage, managing stress is like sitting on a chair; one will continue to adjust until he gets a comfortable position.
In recent times, stress has been laid side by side with the female specie, in the sense that both has a lot in common. As a result, a school of thought has opined that managing a woman is akin to managing stress. But the good news is both can be managed if the right parameter or plug is pulled.
Stress, like the woman, is a “necessary evil” that can’t be avoided. It is, like a woman, a heavy to carry, and so cannot be carried with one hand. A friend once jokingly told me that ‘when you carry a woman who is too heavy for you, consider “offloading” her’. And that’s what we do to stress when it encroaches.
As human beings, we all experience stress in different areas and stages of life. There’s nothing anyone does that does not involve stress. As a student, one must undergo the stress of reading to pass an examination. As a woman, one must undergo the stress of child delivery and raising a child.
As a man, one must involve the stress of working and providing for the family. As a career professional, an employee must undergo the stress of being punctual at work and doing the needful to gain recognition. Even as a Christian, one must avoid certain practices to stay faithful in the sight of God. The list is literally endless.
The big question we must answer or deal with here is how do we manage stress? There are different ways we handle stress just like there are different ways we solve problems. We don’t solve a problem the way the problems come to us; it takes wisdom to solve a problem. Sometimes, we solve a problem with silence, action, and technicality. That’s the same way we handle stress.
I will be sharing helpful tips we can use to handle stress. As human beings, whenever we experience stress, we tend to forget what’s happening around us and focus on the stress. We even forget the positive things that have happened to us. For instance, a woman who is pregnant will technically forget all the good things her partner or anyone has done for her, she will even forget what’s happening in the world, her focus will be on the stress of the pregnancy. That’s the reality of life.
So here is my candid advice for anyone who is experiencing stress.
Identify stress exist
First, one will have to admit he/she is experiencing or undergoing stress, and as such seek help. I say this because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. When the problem has been identified, the next step is to look for the person with the solution. According to the sage, knowledge is of two kinds, it’s either you know the answer, or you know where to find it.
Practice Gratitude.
It’s indisputable we do have good and bad days as humans, so a great way of living life is by trying to be grateful for what life brings to us knowing fully well the universe has previously brought good days to us. It’s sad, as human beings, we tend to mostly focus on the negative things humans have done to us instead of focusing more on the good things they have done.
Let me share a story I recently about gratitude, there are two friends (Mr. A and Mr. B) who were on a journey, Mr. A slapped Mr. B and Mr. B wrote on the sand, my best friend slapped me. When they got to the river, Mr. B had a hard time crossing over, and Mr. B assisted him, and when they got to the shore, Mr. A wrote on the rock, my best friend saved my life.
When they got to their destination, Mr. A asked Mr. B, “Why did you write on the sand when I slapped you and wrote on the rock I saved your life when I saved your life?” Mr. B answered, when anyone hurts you, it’s advisable to write it on the sand because the water will wash it away, but when anyone does you a favor write it on your heart (rock) where it can’t be erased. This is the attitude of dealing with stress. The moral is when we focus on the negative aspect of life, it has a way of increasing our sorrows.
Still on gratitude, as a healthy way of living life, before the day is over reflect on your day and review your accomplishment by appreciating yourself. Most of the time, we don’t take time to celebrate little wins. If you do this, it’s capable of relieving your stress.
Planning
Another way of managing stress is by planning. As humans, sometimes, we tend to leave important things until the last minute before we begin to prepare. This attitude is capable of leading to stress because we will be joggling between meeting up and not forgetting anything. But when we plan, we reduce the stress magnet. So, here is my advice, consider planning your day at least 24hours to avoid unnecessary stress hormones creeping in.
Still on planning, it’s highly advisable for one to avoid wasting time on frivolous activities. There are lots of time-wasting activities that don’t add meaningful progress and value to our life. Most of the time, we spend major time on minor activities that have little impact in our life and spend less time on major activities that’s suppose to add value to our life.
Rest
Do you know that stress can be reduced by taking a thirty-minute walk? Most people don’t know that nature is beautiful. Spending time with nature is a blissful experience most people are yet to explore. For instance, walking has a way of boosting our mental state of mind. Walking is not only a form of exercise, but also a form of resting.
Also, consider taking a deep breath every morning by breathing excessively. This habit if properly nurtured can be a game changer. For instance, if you encounter an unpleasant situation, just breathe in and out deeply and say, this too shall pass. Also consider drinking water every day, it has a way of relieving one from stress.
Practice Kindness
A great act of stress reduction that has greatly helped me is by practicing acts of kindness. On a personal note, whenever I’m stressed, and I see someone who is feeling stressed and I’m able to counsel or assist the person to feel good, I tend to feel much better. Overtime, I began to wonder, does it mean for me to be happy, I must show other people love and concern. The inherent message here is that I do feel good whenever I put smiles on people’s faces. This is a rare trait only people with a heart of service and empathy can exhibit. Consider doing a rare act of kindness and see the effect it will have on your mental being.
Reading
Do you know some people relieve stress by reading? Yes, reading has an impact on our mindset. Christians who read the Bible do feel a form of relief especially when they see stories which are related to theirs. Also, the Bible has a way of encouraging us to be strong when we go through storms. For instance, the Bible states in Matthew 11:28, “come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy load and I will give you rest”.
Do you know when we learn something new everyday, it can help us to reduce stress because it will take our mind out from the stress we are dealing with. So, consider reading or learning something new today.
Declutter Your Mind.
Our mindset is very strong. It’s whatever we feed the mind that it will process. Decluttering the mind is a great way of relieving stress. We juggle through many things due to the vicissitudes of life, we deal with family issues, work issues, personal issues, mental issues, business, government etc. All this has the capacity to weigh us down and thereby give us stress.
We can declutter the mind by meditating at least 30 minutes every day. I personally do this at intervals during the day, but mostly during my quiet moments in the morning and night. When we allow stress to fill our mind, there’s little we can do. To fix stress, I do apply the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr which says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.
In conclusion, stress is not healthy for our mental health. To be productive, one must be mentally, spiritually, physically, and financially stable. So, whenever one experiences stress, please seek help.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Secrets are exclusive preserves of certain individuals or institutions. They are one’s advantage over others, in the sense of ‘there’s something I know, which no one else knows. No one can ever claim that they don’t have a secret, either in the good or bad light.
Secrets therefore, exist in the family circle, business terrain, academic environment, career/professional pursuit, health management, spiritual connectivity and even in everyday personal living. It is an undeniable fact that everyone has a secret that works for them.
Let’s take a minute to discuss some of the aforementioned secrets.
Family
Every family has a secret. It will be foolhardy for anyone to disclose family secrets. Most families die with their secrets. To understand how family secrets work, imagine the Coca-Cola company. The family is said to be the only one in the world that has the formula for the beverage; a trade secret that originated with its creator, John Pemberton.
It is said that not even all family members enter the room where Coca-Cola is mixed or manufactured for fear of the secret being divulged. Imagine where spouses have access to the room and the marriage goes south, there’s a tendency that a spiteful divorced partner might leak the secret and the rest as they say is history.
There are many secrets that bind many families which only the immediate family members know. In some cases, only the parents or grandparents know. They can decide to share the secret to either the first male child, first female child or even a member of the family that one considers rational. For instance, imagine where a family is faced with a peculiar life threatening illness which ordinarily might scare anyone who wants to get married into that family, it will be stupid for anyone to spit it out, that act alone can make the intending spouse to reconsider his/her plan to marry from the family.
Business
Every business has a trade secret. Trade secrets are what makes a business unique. Every business has a unique selling point. (USP), which is a distinct benefit that sets the business or product apart from its competitors. A shrewd businessman will never leak his secret to his employees or competitors. The best his employees will know are the values, the operational systems or structures of the business and how his mindset works. But what makes the business stand out is the mystery that one will need to unravel.
Academic
Every student has a distinct trait that makes him/her succeed academically. This unique trait makes the student exceptional. For any student to succeed in their academics, he must know himself and what works for him. While some might study at night, some might study during the day, others might just listen during the lecture and understand the key points.
It’s sad to see students, who haven’t discovered who they are and what works for them following students who have discovered who they are. For example, while some students have good listening and understanding ability, and can listen to lectures and read a little and pass their examinations, some other students will have to read the course material before the lecture, listen during the lecture, read after the lecture and read thoroughly for examination before they can get a decent grade.
In some cases, they might not get the desired grade. Some students will even party hard during the day and at night they study, while some will party at night and study during the day. So, you can see that while some students have discovered themselves and what works for them, some others follow them sheepishly. Moral: Know what works for you and do what works for you because according to Oscar Wilde, “be yourself because others are taken”.
Career/Profession
Every career professional has a secret that works for them. In the same way, every industry knows what makes it stands out. The secret of what makes someone in the entertainment industry successful is quite different from what makes someone in politics or law enforcement, energy, education, legal, or health sector different. They all have different strokes, and the ability of one to do the needful in addition to playing the associated game can be the game changer.
Health
Health is a personal thing. Nobody knows you more than you know yourself. To show you how secretive and important one’s health is, it’s been said that there are three kinds of life: Public life, private life and secret life.
Your public life is the life that is generally known by everyone. It is the character we exhibit in the public space. It can also be regarded as the image perception lifestyle; we don’t generally go around revealing our health status in the public domain except where necessary. The private lifestyle; this is the kind of life only our family and close friends know.
Again, we don’t disclose such pertinent information to them only where and when necessary, then we have the secret lifestyle which only us and our creator knows. In some cases, we go to the graveyard with this. Do you see why health is a personal issue which needs to be kept in a secret place?
Personal
As mentioned earlier, everyone is unique. One of the best things that can happen to anyone is knowing themselves, and knowing what makes them different. I strongly believe we all have seeds of greatness in us. What works for Mr. A might not work for Mr. B. Like I always say, you can copy my style, but you can’t be me because imitation is a limitation.
For instance, I have unique energy and inspiration when it comes to writing. I have developed a keen interest and passion for writing. If tomorrow I become very successful or attract a unique opportunity, and someone decides to try writing to attract similar opportunities, the person might fail because God is the one that decides what opportunities come to anyone nor matter how hard someone may work.
Spiritual
This is another interesting aspect of life. Life is indeed spiritual. There’s nothing that happens physically without taking place spiritually. Everyone has a covenant point that was assigned to them at birth. Once that covenant point is touched that fellow might lose their blessings, anointing or what makes them strong.
There have been many testimonies about this. For instance, in the Bible, Samson’s touching point was his hair. He knows his power lies in his hair, that’s why Delilah tried so many times to know the secret of his strength, but Samson refused to tell her. She tried to make him drunk, but Samson still has the power. Samson repeatedly lied to Delilah about the secret of his strength, first saying it was new bowstrings, then new ropes, and finally by weaving his hair into a loom. Each time, he easily broke free, but Delilah continued to pressure him.
Weary from her constant questioning, Samson finally confessed that his strength was tied to his hair, which had never been cut because he was a Nazirite from birth. Delilah then called for a man to shave Samson’s seven locks of hair while he slept in her lap. His secret was revealed. His hair was cut. He strength was gone.
Do you see that Samson’s secret place was his hair?
In conclusion, depending on what we are working on, we all have our secret strength and place. The onus is on us to cultivate and dwell on this secret place to avoid losing power and focus.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Amid growing insecurity in different parts of the country, Niger State Governor, Umaru Bago, has urged residents to defend themselves against persistent bandit attacks.
He insisted that his administration would neither negotiate with nor pay ransom to criminals under any circumstances.
Bago made the declaration during a visit to the Rijau and Magama local government areas, where several communities were recently attacked by bandits operating from the Kontagora axis.
The governor said the State has reached a critical stage that demands collective action, warning that ransom payments would only embolden the criminals and turn kidnapping into a profitable venture.
“I will not negotiate with bandits. I will not pay ransom.
“The moment we start paying, they will open shop on our heads and continue kidnapping people,” he said.
“The situation has reached a state of war that requires collective resistance. We are surrounded by enemies, but we will not give up.
“The constitution gives us the right to defend our lives and property, and we will do just that,” the governor added.
Describing the recurring attacks and displacement of residents as “embarrassing and unacceptable,” Bago announced plans to recruit and train 10,000 personnel into the state’s joint task force to strengthen community security and restore peace.
In a statement issued by his Special Adviser on Print Media, Aisha Wakaso, the governor also announced a total ban on all mining activities across Zone C of the state.
The affected local government areas include Magama, Kontagora, Rijau, Wushishi, Mariga, Borgu, Mashegu, and Agwara.
Bago explained that illegal mining had become a major driver of insecurity in the zone, noting that many miners had unrestricted access to forest areas considered unsafe for residents.
“It is suspicious that miners can enter the forests freely, yet the bandits don’t touch them. I have ordered the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC) to arrest anyone caught engaging in mining activities,” he said.
Governor Bago also reaffirmed his administration’s commitment to ending the cycle of violence and restoring lasting peace throughout the state.
The Nigeria Police have reportedly arrested human rights activist Omoyele Sowore.
Sowore was taken into custody at the Federal High Court in Abuja.
This was revealed in a post on X by human rights lawyer Inibehe Effiong, who accused the police and President Bola Tinubu’s administration of undermining Nigeria’s judicial system.
He wrote: “The arrest of Omoyele Sowore at the Federal High Court in Abuja moments ago is preposterous.
“The police and the Tinubu regime are making a mockery of our judicial system.He should be freed immediately. Stop the shenanigans.”
Sowore had earlier posted on Facebook that he was with Kanu Agabi, the lead lawyer for Nnamdi Kanu, at the Federal High Court.
According to him, Agabi disclosed that his team would be withdrawing from the case, leaving Kanu to continue his trial without representation.
