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Food for Living: How to Handle Stress
By Henry Ukazu
Dear destiny friends,
Nobody is immune to stress. Fact. Stress is an admixture of natural and emotional causes. Fact. Stress can be managed. Fact.
According to a sage, managing stress is like sitting on a chair; one will continue to adjust until he gets a comfortable position.
In recent times, stress has been laid side by side with the female specie, in the sense that both has a lot in common. As a result, a school of thought has opined that managing a woman is akin to managing stress. But the good news is both can be managed if the right parameter or plug is pulled.
Stress, like the woman, is a “necessary evil” that can’t be avoided. It is, like a woman, a heavy to carry, and so cannot be carried with one hand. A friend once jokingly told me that ‘when you carry a woman who is too heavy for you, consider “offloading” her’. And that’s what we do to stress when it encroaches.
As human beings, we all experience stress in different areas and stages of life. There’s nothing anyone does that does not involve stress. As a student, one must undergo the stress of reading to pass an examination. As a woman, one must undergo the stress of child delivery and raising a child.
As a man, one must involve the stress of working and providing for the family. As a career professional, an employee must undergo the stress of being punctual at work and doing the needful to gain recognition. Even as a Christian, one must avoid certain practices to stay faithful in the sight of God. The list is literally endless.
The big question we must answer or deal with here is how do we manage stress? There are different ways we handle stress just like there are different ways we solve problems. We don’t solve a problem the way the problems come to us; it takes wisdom to solve a problem. Sometimes, we solve a problem with silence, action, and technicality. That’s the same way we handle stress.
I will be sharing helpful tips we can use to handle stress. As human beings, whenever we experience stress, we tend to forget what’s happening around us and focus on the stress. We even forget the positive things that have happened to us. For instance, a woman who is pregnant will technically forget all the good things her partner or anyone has done for her, she will even forget what’s happening in the world, her focus will be on the stress of the pregnancy. That’s the reality of life.
So here is my candid advice for anyone who is experiencing stress.
Identify stress exist
First, one will have to admit he/she is experiencing or undergoing stress, and as such seek help. I say this because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. When the problem has been identified, the next step is to look for the person with the solution. According to the sage, knowledge is of two kinds, it’s either you know the answer, or you know where to find it.
Practice Gratitude.
It’s indisputable we do have good and bad days as humans, so a great way of living life is by trying to be grateful for what life brings to us knowing fully well the universe has previously brought good days to us. It’s sad, as human beings, we tend to mostly focus on the negative things humans have done to us instead of focusing more on the good things they have done.
Let me share a story I recently about gratitude, there are two friends (Mr. A and Mr. B) who were on a journey, Mr. A slapped Mr. B and Mr. B wrote on the sand, my best friend slapped me. When they got to the river, Mr. B had a hard time crossing over, and Mr. B assisted him, and when they got to the shore, Mr. A wrote on the rock, my best friend saved my life.
When they got to their destination, Mr. A asked Mr. B, “Why did you write on the sand when I slapped you and wrote on the rock I saved your life when I saved your life?” Mr. B answered, when anyone hurts you, it’s advisable to write it on the sand because the water will wash it away, but when anyone does you a favor write it on your heart (rock) where it can’t be erased. This is the attitude of dealing with stress. The moral is when we focus on the negative aspect of life, it has a way of increasing our sorrows.
Still on gratitude, as a healthy way of living life, before the day is over reflect on your day and review your accomplishment by appreciating yourself. Most of the time, we don’t take time to celebrate little wins. If you do this, it’s capable of relieving your stress.
Planning
Another way of managing stress is by planning. As humans, sometimes, we tend to leave important things until the last minute before we begin to prepare. This attitude is capable of leading to stress because we will be joggling between meeting up and not forgetting anything. But when we plan, we reduce the stress magnet. So, here is my advice, consider planning your day at least 24hours to avoid unnecessary stress hormones creeping in.
Still on planning, it’s highly advisable for one to avoid wasting time on frivolous activities. There are lots of time-wasting activities that don’t add meaningful progress and value to our life. Most of the time, we spend major time on minor activities that have little impact in our life and spend less time on major activities that’s suppose to add value to our life.
Rest
Do you know that stress can be reduced by taking a thirty-minute walk? Most people don’t know that nature is beautiful. Spending time with nature is a blissful experience most people are yet to explore. For instance, walking has a way of boosting our mental state of mind. Walking is not only a form of exercise, but also a form of resting.
Also, consider taking a deep breath every morning by breathing excessively. This habit if properly nurtured can be a game changer. For instance, if you encounter an unpleasant situation, just breathe in and out deeply and say, this too shall pass. Also consider drinking water every day, it has a way of relieving one from stress.
Practice Kindness
A great act of stress reduction that has greatly helped me is by practicing acts of kindness. On a personal note, whenever I’m stressed, and I see someone who is feeling stressed and I’m able to counsel or assist the person to feel good, I tend to feel much better. Overtime, I began to wonder, does it mean for me to be happy, I must show other people love and concern. The inherent message here is that I do feel good whenever I put smiles on people’s faces. This is a rare trait only people with a heart of service and empathy can exhibit. Consider doing a rare act of kindness and see the effect it will have on your mental being.
Reading
Do you know some people relieve stress by reading? Yes, reading has an impact on our mindset. Christians who read the Bible do feel a form of relief especially when they see stories which are related to theirs. Also, the Bible has a way of encouraging us to be strong when we go through storms. For instance, the Bible states in Matthew 11:28, “come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy load and I will give you rest”.
Do you know when we learn something new everyday, it can help us to reduce stress because it will take our mind out from the stress we are dealing with. So, consider reading or learning something new today.
Declutter Your Mind.
Our mindset is very strong. It’s whatever we feed the mind that it will process. Decluttering the mind is a great way of relieving stress. We juggle through many things due to the vicissitudes of life, we deal with family issues, work issues, personal issues, mental issues, business, government etc. All this has the capacity to weigh us down and thereby give us stress.
We can declutter the mind by meditating at least 30 minutes every day. I personally do this at intervals during the day, but mostly during my quiet moments in the morning and night. When we allow stress to fill our mind, there’s little we can do. To fix stress, I do apply the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr which says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.
In conclusion, stress is not healthy for our mental health. To be productive, one must be mentally, spiritually, physically, and financially stable. So, whenever one experiences stress, please seek help.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Wealth is of the mind, and not necessarily the amount of money in one’s pocket or in the bank. It takes a great mind to know that if the only thing one has is money, that person is poor because at a stage in life, money may not play any role. It is worth noting that for one to pay for everything they need in life, it’s either they are poor, or you haven’t invested in anyone.
It’s always good therefore, to live for humanity. Life is not about ‘me’, but about humanity. When you consider other people, life works out for you. This is a timeless principle I have adopted overtime, especially when I see a progressive mind who is hungry to learn.
One of the reasons most people are poor is simply because they have the wrong mindset, ideology and information. It’s instructive to know that when you learn well, you stand a better chance of earning well because the more you know, the more you get paid. Nobody pays anyone what they desire, but what they deserve.
Let me explain a little; a poor mind will think a rich man is wasting money by paying triple for a three-bedroom apartment in a porsche neighborhood while a rich mind will think he’s paying for security, and peace of mind.
Again, a poor mind will think a rich man is being extravagant when he buys a luxury perfume or watch when he can buy a decent perfume which ordinarily will perform the same service, but a wealthy mind knows that in the real world, life is governed by perception. According to Dr. Joe Abah, “as a man, there are three things you shouldn’t compromise: solid watch, good shoes and nice perfume”. He further went on to state you can be as casual as you like but once those three things are present, you don’t need to tell anyone you are decently comfortable.
Do you see that life is not about how much you have, but how you manage what you have, but more importantly, how you people perceive you. Some people might have money, but they will find it difficult to invest in their outlook by buying decent clothes, perfumes, shoes and watches.
Another great source of wealth is information. Like I always say, information is power. If you are not informed, you are ill-informed, and once you are ill-informed, you can’t perform because information leads to reformation and transformation. So, it’s fair to say information leads to formation. You are a product of what you know.
It’s sad that many people don’t take time to invest in themselves by buying books of interest, paying for certification courses to enhance their knowledge, or even volunteering their time to intern to learn how great or successful people think.
When rich minds invest their minds to seek knowledge to gain information and knowledge which will set them apart from their contemporaries, they tend to gain access to opportunities in which they can earn decent money, entitled minds will begin to beg for money. That’s poverty mindset.
It should be noted, nobody owes you anything, most people worked hard to get to where they are today. They didn’t succeed because they looked nice, or luck favored them. Yes, those might be contributory factors, but the sacrosanct truth remains that, in civilized climes, they did the work, after all, luck is opportunity meeting preparation. If they were not prepared, the opportunity would have slipped by, and they would not have succeeded.
When we talk of wealth, it doesn’t only relate to money, wealth can also relate to how one thinks, speaks, acts, and prays. All these play critical roles in defining a human being. According to the Bible in Proverbs 17: 28, “Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent, and discerning when he holds his tongue”. So if you are unsure about something, it is better to keep quiet because when you open your mouth, you tell the world who you are. So, when you meet a great mind, be careful how you engage them. That’s why it’s generally stated that it takes a minute for a great man to know if he likes someone who is seeking an opportunity. These great minds have six sense perception. They have the discerning minds to see through your mind.
There was a story I recently read from Dr. Femi Otedola’s book, “Making it Big”. The story is that of a young man who was trying to strike a deal with the business mogul. He came in an inferior car and was looking for a multi-million naira contract, Dr. Femi Otedola, being a shrewd businessman, evaluated the man and priced the him low, forcing him to grudgingly accept.
When the contact was sealed and the young man was about to leave, Dr. Femi called him back and asked him, do you know I priced you low? The man said no. Dr. Otedola said, it doesn’t make business sense to come with a cheap car to seek a multi-million business contract. What that really means is that you ought to dress the way you want to appear. Mr. Otedola, went on to inform him that in life, especially in business, perception rules.
Did you see it would have been better for the man to come in a decent car even though it doesn’t belong to him because he wouldn’t have been prized low. As a matter of fact, his value would have been elevated. The car opened a lot of canker worms about his mindset. Did you see that this statement corroborates with what the Bible stated in Proverbs 17:28.
The power of the mind can’t be overemphasized. Mindset cuts across every corner of our life. My late dad used to own a hospital with his brother, the motto of the hospital was “we care, but God cures”. That to me was very inspiring to know that doctors and nurses were limited in their thought process.
Furthermore, I once visited a general hospital in my hometown in Nigeria, each time I visited the hospital to see a patient, I discovered there’s always a gospel song in the background with a melodic soothing message to comfort everyone. In all honesty, even if one has given up hope of recovering, the song is capable of restoring hope. Again, that’s the power of the mind.
The moral here is that the mind controls everything. Napoleon Hill stated in his famous book, “Think and Grow Rich”, that “whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe, it can achieve it’.
In conclusion, if you want to be wealthy, please consider working on your mindset because that’s where everything, including success and failure start and end.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Three Nigerian secondary schools are in the ring for the grand prize of N5m in the ongoing Glo Innov8 National STEM competition for girls in Senior Secondary Schools across the country.
The three top finalists were selected for their originality and innovation in the different entries for the competition. A total of 20 secondary schools were picked from over 200 schools which registered for the competition. After a series of considerations, 10 of them made it to the semifinal from which three; Ephraim High School, Isolo Campus, Lagos; Regina Pacis International School, Onitsha, Anambra State; and Peakfield Academy, Jos, Plateau State eventually coasted home to the finals.
Schools from Plateau, Kano, Lagos, Rivers, Edo, Borno, Kebbi, Nasarawa, Ondo, Oyo, Anambra, FCT, Delta, Kaduna and Adamawa states had signified intentions to participate following a call for entries by Glo Foundation, Globacom’s corporate social responsibility arm as part of its celebration of the 2025 International Day of the Girl Child.
Glo Innov8, a STEM-driven challenge, has scheduled prizes worth N5 million to the three schools in the finals. The competition “is geared at inspiring young girls to Compete, Innovate and Win, while also strengthening their confidence and expanding their knowledge in STEM subjects”, Glo Foundation explained.
The eventual overall winning school will go home with a cash prize of N2,000,000 while the 2 students representing the school will each get a laptop. The Teacher/Mentor/STEM Coordinator also gets N200,000.
The schools that come second and third places and their Teachers/Mentors/STEM Coordinators will also receive mouth-watering consolation prizes.
The three female judges of the virtual phase of selection of the top 20 schools said they were excited by the quality of presentations by the competing schools. One of them, Tosin Olabode said: “I was particularly impressed by the prototype presentations from some schools. They demonstrated that they had done their homework”.
In the same vein, Amina Gabriel disclosed that she was thrilled by the variety of ideas that the schools came up with. “The schools presented innovative solutions tackling issues in agriculture, security, waste management, and firefighting. The top 10 schools showcased outstanding prototypes, from apps to robots, making the judging process truly competitive. I’m grateful to Glo Foundation for the opportunity to serve and support young girls in STEM”, she said.
According to Sharon Ibejih, the third judge, “This competition has showcased a highly competitive next generation of women leaders in STEM. This was an excellent exercise and a means to encourage more students in STEM to develop problem-solving and innovative thinking skills”.
The overall winning school will emerge at an event set to hold later this year at the Mike Adenuga Centre (Alliance Française), Ikoyi, Lagos.
The leader of Indigenous People of Biafra (IPoB), Nnamdi Kanu, has filed a motion to stop the judgment of the Federal High Court, Abuja, in his trial for alleged terrorism.
Justice James Omotosho, on November 7, fixed November 20 for judgment on the case.
The judge fixed the date after Kanu’s defence was foreclosed following his insistence that he would not enter his defence under a repealed law.
However, in the motion on notice marked: FHC/ABJ/CR/383/2015, he personally filed, the IPoB leader sought seven reliefs.
In the application dated November 10 and filed same date, Kanu sought an order arresting the delivery of judgment in charge no: FHC/ABJ/CR/383/2015.
The document was made public on Tuesday.
In it, he alleged that the proceedings were conducted under a repealed and non-existent statute and in disobedience to the Supreme Court’s directive contrary to Section 287(1) CFRN 1999.”
He sought a declaration that by virtue of Section 287(1) CFRN, the trial court was constitutionally bound to give effect to the Supreme Court’s finding that count 15 (now count 7) “does not exist in law,” and its failure rendered all subsequent proceedings null and void.
He also sought a declaration that the court’s failure to take judicial notice of the repeal of the 2013 Terrorism Act, contrary to Section 122 Evidence Act 2011, vitiates all steps taken thereunder.
The IPOB leader equally sought a declaration that by virtue of Section 76(1)(d)(iii) of the Terrorism (Prevention and Prohibition) Act 2022, the Federal High Court lacked jurisdiction to try him in the absence of proof that the alleged conduct constituted an offence under Kenyan law or of any Kenyan judicial validation or extradition order.
Besides, Kanu sought “a declaration that the plea purportedly taken on March 29, under a repealed and non-existent statute and in violation of Section 220 ACJA 2015 is void and incapable of conferring jurisdiction.
