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Food for Living: How to Handle Stress
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear destiny friends,
Nobody is immune to stress. Fact. Stress is an admixture of natural and emotional causes. Fact. Stress can be managed. Fact.
According to a sage, managing stress is like sitting on a chair; one will continue to adjust until he gets a comfortable position.
In recent times, stress has been laid side by side with the female specie, in the sense that both has a lot in common. As a result, a school of thought has opined that managing a woman is akin to managing stress. But the good news is both can be managed if the right parameter or plug is pulled.
Stress, like the woman, is a “necessary evil” that can’t be avoided. It is, like a woman, a heavy to carry, and so cannot be carried with one hand. A friend once jokingly told me that ‘when you carry a woman who is too heavy for you, consider “offloading” her’. And that’s what we do to stress when it encroaches.
As human beings, we all experience stress in different areas and stages of life. There’s nothing anyone does that does not involve stress. As a student, one must undergo the stress of reading to pass an examination. As a woman, one must undergo the stress of child delivery and raising a child.
As a man, one must involve the stress of working and providing for the family. As a career professional, an employee must undergo the stress of being punctual at work and doing the needful to gain recognition. Even as a Christian, one must avoid certain practices to stay faithful in the sight of God. The list is literally endless.
The big question we must answer or deal with here is how do we manage stress? There are different ways we handle stress just like there are different ways we solve problems. We don’t solve a problem the way the problems come to us; it takes wisdom to solve a problem. Sometimes, we solve a problem with silence, action, and technicality. That’s the same way we handle stress.
I will be sharing helpful tips we can use to handle stress. As human beings, whenever we experience stress, we tend to forget what’s happening around us and focus on the stress. We even forget the positive things that have happened to us. For instance, a woman who is pregnant will technically forget all the good things her partner or anyone has done for her, she will even forget what’s happening in the world, her focus will be on the stress of the pregnancy. That’s the reality of life.
So here is my candid advice for anyone who is experiencing stress.
Identify stress exist
First, one will have to admit he/she is experiencing or undergoing stress, and as such seek help. I say this because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. When the problem has been identified, the next step is to look for the person with the solution. According to the sage, knowledge is of two kinds, it’s either you know the answer, or you know where to find it.
Practice Gratitude.
It’s indisputable we do have good and bad days as humans, so a great way of living life is by trying to be grateful for what life brings to us knowing fully well the universe has previously brought good days to us. It’s sad, as human beings, we tend to mostly focus on the negative things humans have done to us instead of focusing more on the good things they have done.
Let me share a story I recently about gratitude, there are two friends (Mr. A and Mr. B) who were on a journey, Mr. A slapped Mr. B and Mr. B wrote on the sand, my best friend slapped me. When they got to the river, Mr. B had a hard time crossing over, and Mr. B assisted him, and when they got to the shore, Mr. A wrote on the rock, my best friend saved my life.
When they got to their destination, Mr. A asked Mr. B, “Why did you write on the sand when I slapped you and wrote on the rock I saved your life when I saved your life?” Mr. B answered, when anyone hurts you, it’s advisable to write it on the sand because the water will wash it away, but when anyone does you a favor write it on your heart (rock) where it can’t be erased. This is the attitude of dealing with stress. The moral is when we focus on the negative aspect of life, it has a way of increasing our sorrows.
Still on gratitude, as a healthy way of living life, before the day is over reflect on your day and review your accomplishment by appreciating yourself. Most of the time, we don’t take time to celebrate little wins. If you do this, it’s capable of relieving your stress.
Planning
Another way of managing stress is by planning. As humans, sometimes, we tend to leave important things until the last minute before we begin to prepare. This attitude is capable of leading to stress because we will be joggling between meeting up and not forgetting anything. But when we plan, we reduce the stress magnet. So, here is my advice, consider planning your day at least 24hours to avoid unnecessary stress hormones creeping in.
Still on planning, it’s highly advisable for one to avoid wasting time on frivolous activities. There are lots of time-wasting activities that don’t add meaningful progress and value to our life. Most of the time, we spend major time on minor activities that have little impact in our life and spend less time on major activities that’s suppose to add value to our life.
Rest
Do you know that stress can be reduced by taking a thirty-minute walk? Most people don’t know that nature is beautiful. Spending time with nature is a blissful experience most people are yet to explore. For instance, walking has a way of boosting our mental state of mind. Walking is not only a form of exercise, but also a form of resting.
Also, consider taking a deep breath every morning by breathing excessively. This habit if properly nurtured can be a game changer. For instance, if you encounter an unpleasant situation, just breathe in and out deeply and say, this too shall pass. Also consider drinking water every day, it has a way of relieving one from stress.
Practice Kindness
A great act of stress reduction that has greatly helped me is by practicing acts of kindness. On a personal note, whenever I’m stressed, and I see someone who is feeling stressed and I’m able to counsel or assist the person to feel good, I tend to feel much better. Overtime, I began to wonder, does it mean for me to be happy, I must show other people love and concern. The inherent message here is that I do feel good whenever I put smiles on people’s faces. This is a rare trait only people with a heart of service and empathy can exhibit. Consider doing a rare act of kindness and see the effect it will have on your mental being.
Reading
Do you know some people relieve stress by reading? Yes, reading has an impact on our mindset. Christians who read the Bible do feel a form of relief especially when they see stories which are related to theirs. Also, the Bible has a way of encouraging us to be strong when we go through storms. For instance, the Bible states in Matthew 11:28, “come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy load and I will give you rest”.
Do you know when we learn something new everyday, it can help us to reduce stress because it will take our mind out from the stress we are dealing with. So, consider reading or learning something new today.
Declutter Your Mind.
Our mindset is very strong. It’s whatever we feed the mind that it will process. Decluttering the mind is a great way of relieving stress. We juggle through many things due to the vicissitudes of life, we deal with family issues, work issues, personal issues, mental issues, business, government etc. All this has the capacity to weigh us down and thereby give us stress.
We can declutter the mind by meditating at least 30 minutes every day. I personally do this at intervals during the day, but mostly during my quiet moments in the morning and night. When we allow stress to fill our mind, there’s little we can do. To fix stress, I do apply the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr which says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.
In conclusion, stress is not healthy for our mental health. To be productive, one must be mentally, spiritually, physically, and financially stable. So, whenever one experiences stress, please seek help.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
If you are asked, what’s your calling, what will be your response? If you are asked what your purpose on earth is, what will be your response? If you are asked who you are, what would be your response? These, no doubt, are interesting questions to decipher one’s calling.
Finding one’s calling is the best thing that can happen to anyone. According to one of my most cherished mentors, Dr. Yomi Garnett, the day you find your purpose is the day you become a millionaire. I couldn’t agree more with this saying because it is nothing but the gospel truth. This is because the best thing that can happen to anyone is knowing their calling.
According to Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why. This is a fact. It’s quite unfortunate that many people are just existing as opposed to living. We were not created to exist, we were created to fill a vacuum, and we can only make an impact if we are intentionally answering our call.
Let’s circle back to the question I asked at the beginning of this article, what’s your calling? To answer this question, I would like you to approach it from a spiritual perspective. At creation, God called us to be something in the world, that’s why he gave us gifts and talents and told us to be fruitful and multiply.
Just like we all have names that our parents, friends, children, mentors, etc. call us. These names are reflections of what we mean to them or how they perceive us. Names are symbolic and have deep meanings if we apply reasoning to them. So, if we can answer the names we are called to earth, how about answering the name God called us at birth. I believe that’s the most important call or name we need to answer as human beings. When we answer the name God gave to us, the world will begin to respond to what we say because we have answered the mother’s call.
Why do I say this? Your purpose was made in heaven, but your calling is meant to be fulfilled on earth. It’s sad to see people answering different names they are not called. When God created you, there’s something he had in mind for you to accomplish or solve on earth, but it’s unfortunate that, due to life’s vicissitudes, some of us derail from the path God destined for us, and hence that’s the reason many of struggle because we are not working in the direction and pathway God designed for us to tread.
It should be known that your calling was not a conference call; the call was personal. If God wanted anyone to know your calling or purpose, he would have revealed it to anyone he wants, but he chose to reveal it to you, so the onus is on you to focus on it, follow it religiously and ultimately fulfill it because that’s the only way you can get fulfillment.
I also asked, what’s your purpose? Your purpose is the reason why you do whatever you are doing. In this context, your purpose is your why. According to Dr. Myles Munroe, “When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” Your purpose is the reason why you applied for a job, married your partner, started an NGO, a business, relocated/travelled, started school, or even wrote a book. There’s always a reason why we do something. That reason is the inspiration and motivation we need to forge when everything else fails.
Again, I ask you what’s your purpose? If you can’t figure out your purpose, I will strongly advise you to go to your creator (God) and ask him, what’s your purpose because he’s the person that created you. When people desire different interests in different majors, skills, profession, vocation, etc., it’s simply because someone puts the desire and interest inside them.
To understand how purpose works, there’s no problem on earth without a solution. The only problem without a solution is the problem the person with the solution hasn’t arrived.
Let me share a practical example on purpose. There was a story of an old man whose car (Ford) broke down in the middle of the road, all efforts to fix the car proved abortive. An old man was passing by and saw this man struggling to fix the car, he asked him, “What’s the problem?” The old man said, well, my car has refused to start. The stranger told the man to give a minute. The man initially refused saying who is this old man to fix what I have been working on for hours.
On second thought, he said, what will I lose if I give him a chance. He decided to listen to the old man who told him to give me a minute to check out the car. This stranger didn’t do much, he just touched a particular side of the engine and told the old man to start the car, and immediately the car cranked back to her life. The man was surprised and asked him, who are you? ” The stranger said, “I am Henry Ford, the owner of Ford Motors.
The moral of this story is, Henry Ford, the founder of Ford motors, knows his car more than everyone. So, if a mere mortal can know much, how much about the creator who will not know about our purpose?
When you find your purpose, you find your why, but when you find your why you must find your purpose.
The final question I asked: “Who are you? To answer these questions, I need you to focus on the inmate quality you are blessed with as opposed to what people think about you. What people think about you is your reputation, but who you are is your character. Some people associate titles to who they are. I think that’s the wrong interpretation. One might be a doctor, lawyer, Chief Operating Officer, professor, or even the governor or president, but that doesn’t make them good people with good traits, qualities, values and charismatic inmate abilities.
To lead one must have empathy, compassion, and heart of service. It is through these traits; one can see who a person really is and not the cloth of title they are showing the world.
So, to find one’s calling, here’s my sample suggestion: ask your creator (God), inquire what makes you happy, what you love to do, what do people compliment you on, what do you do with relative ease if you are woken from sleep? What is one thing you can do for free?
In conclusion, finding one’s calling is the best thing that can happen to anyone. The day you find your calling is the day you will begin to live your best life because you will begin to bless the world with your calling.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Chief Dele Momodu, has said no political permutation will save President Bola Tinubu in the 2027 presidential election, insisting that widespread hunger and hardship will determine the outcome.
Momodu stated this on Thursday during an appearance on Channels Television’s Politics Today, anchored by Seun Okinbaloye.
According to him, Nigerians across all regions and ethnic lines are united by economic hardship, which no amount of money or political calculation can overcome.
“The common factor now is the hunger in the land. No permutation can beat hunger. The Yorubas are suffering, the Hausas are suffering, the Igbos are suffering, everybody is suffering,” he said.
He argued that President Tinubu cannot buy the entire country, even if he was able to deploy money effectively in Lagos State politics in the past.
“Tinubu believes he can buy the whole of Nigeria, but my personal belief is that if he could buy the whole of Lagos, I doubt if he can use money to buy the whole of Nigeria,” Momodu stated.
The Ovation Publisher said Nigerians had become wiser and would collect any money offered to them during elections but still vote according to their conscience.
He cited the Osun State governorship election as a case study, noting that, despite the huge funds allegedly deployed, the people voted for Governor Ademola Adeleke.
“And a lot of people will take the money like they took it in Osun State. People’s eyes are wide open now. They brought a lot of money to Osun State, but they still lost the election to Ademola Adeleke,” he said.
Momodu also recalled that Tinubu lost Lagos State to Mr Peter Obi of the Labour Party in the 2023 presidential election, which he said proves that incumbency and financial muscle do not guarantee victory.
He maintained that President Tinubu would not win in 2027, claiming that many Nigerians could not imagine a second term for the administration.
“If you ask an average Nigerian today, do you trust Tinubu to conduct a free and fair election? 90 per cent will say no. Nobody trusts Tinubu, including his own supporters,” Momodu said.
On the detention of former Kaduna State Governor, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai, Momodu described him as a “prisoner of conscience” who is being persecuted because of his political influence.
“Nasir El-Rufai is a lion. They caged him because he is a lion. Even when a lion is caged, it is still a lion. They want him locked up until after 2027 because they fear his influence,” he said.
He disclosed that El-Rufai’s appointment as Deputy Chairman of the Atiku Abubakar Presidential Campaign Council was in honour of his sacrifice and resilience.
“It is a way of honouring his sacrifice because his travails are quite political in nature. That is why Nasir has become a prisoner of conscience. He is in the hands of a government that he helped to midwife,” Momodu added.
He said the 2027 election would be a referendum on hunger, hardship and governance, and not on political permutations.
Meanwhile, the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Digital Communications, Engagement and New Media Strategy, O’tega Ogra, has faulted Momodu’s comments.
Reacting to the interview, Ogra accused the opposition of embracing “perpetual negativity” and opposing government policies without objective assessment.
He said Momodu’s assertion ignored ongoing reforms and improvements recorded in key economic indicators, including foreign reserves, power generation and inflation management.
Ogra urged opposition figures to offer constructive criticism rather than painting a picture of total failure, stressing that President Tinubu would ultimately be judged by his reforms and track record.
The Tribune
The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has denied asking Nigerians living in the United Kingdom to abandon relatives who depend on them for financial support, saying his message about hardship in Nigeria was distorted by political opponents.
Obi said he appreciates Nigerians in the Diaspora who make sacrifices to support their families at home, stressing that his concern is the country’s dependence on remittances to meet basic needs.
In a statement titled; “My Message Has Been Twisted”, posted on X on Tuesday, the former Governor of Anambra State clarified that he never asked Nigerians abroad to stop supporting their loved ones.
“I deeply appreciate Nigerians in the diaspora who work tirelessly and make enormous sacrifices to support their families back home,” he said.
“Their remittances pay for school fees, hospital bills, rent, and feeding expenses. Their patriotism and sacrifices deserve our profound respect. I never asked them to abandon their loved ones.”
Obi said his message was aimed at drawing attention to the economic conditions forcing millions of Nigerians to rely on relatives abroad for their survival.
“My concern is that Nigeria should not remain a country where millions depend on relatives abroad for basic survival,” he said.
“Our goal must be to build a nation that provides jobs, affordable healthcare, quality education, and economic opportunities for its citizens.”
He accused political opponents of misrepresenting his comments, insisting that his position is about addressing the causes of hardship rather than discouraging financial assistance to families.
“Political opponents may twist my message, but the truth remains clear: I am not asking Nigerians abroad to abandon their families. I am advocating for a Nigeria that will no longer abandon its own people,” he said.
The clarification followed backlash over comments Obi made during a town hall meeting with Diaspora supporters in Manchester on Sunday.
In a video that went viral, Obi urged Nigerians in the UK to think twice before giving money to relatives and others at home who ask them for financial assistance, arguing that such support could ease hardship without addressing its underlying causes.
“You have people at home in Nigeria today who are begging you for money. Tell them no!” he said.
Obi attributed the country’s economic difficulties to poor leadership, urging Nigerians abroad to encourage their relatives and friends at home to vote for leaders who would prioritise productivity and economic opportunities.
