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Food for Living: How to Handle Stress
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear destiny friends,
Nobody is immune to stress. Fact. Stress is an admixture of natural and emotional causes. Fact. Stress can be managed. Fact.
According to a sage, managing stress is like sitting on a chair; one will continue to adjust until he gets a comfortable position.
In recent times, stress has been laid side by side with the female specie, in the sense that both has a lot in common. As a result, a school of thought has opined that managing a woman is akin to managing stress. But the good news is both can be managed if the right parameter or plug is pulled.
Stress, like the woman, is a “necessary evil” that can’t be avoided. It is, like a woman, a heavy to carry, and so cannot be carried with one hand. A friend once jokingly told me that ‘when you carry a woman who is too heavy for you, consider “offloading” her’. And that’s what we do to stress when it encroaches.
As human beings, we all experience stress in different areas and stages of life. There’s nothing anyone does that does not involve stress. As a student, one must undergo the stress of reading to pass an examination. As a woman, one must undergo the stress of child delivery and raising a child.
As a man, one must involve the stress of working and providing for the family. As a career professional, an employee must undergo the stress of being punctual at work and doing the needful to gain recognition. Even as a Christian, one must avoid certain practices to stay faithful in the sight of God. The list is literally endless.
The big question we must answer or deal with here is how do we manage stress? There are different ways we handle stress just like there are different ways we solve problems. We don’t solve a problem the way the problems come to us; it takes wisdom to solve a problem. Sometimes, we solve a problem with silence, action, and technicality. That’s the same way we handle stress.
I will be sharing helpful tips we can use to handle stress. As human beings, whenever we experience stress, we tend to forget what’s happening around us and focus on the stress. We even forget the positive things that have happened to us. For instance, a woman who is pregnant will technically forget all the good things her partner or anyone has done for her, she will even forget what’s happening in the world, her focus will be on the stress of the pregnancy. That’s the reality of life.
So here is my candid advice for anyone who is experiencing stress.
Identify stress exist
First, one will have to admit he/she is experiencing or undergoing stress, and as such seek help. I say this because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. When the problem has been identified, the next step is to look for the person with the solution. According to the sage, knowledge is of two kinds, it’s either you know the answer, or you know where to find it.
Practice Gratitude.
It’s indisputable we do have good and bad days as humans, so a great way of living life is by trying to be grateful for what life brings to us knowing fully well the universe has previously brought good days to us. It’s sad, as human beings, we tend to mostly focus on the negative things humans have done to us instead of focusing more on the good things they have done.
Let me share a story I recently about gratitude, there are two friends (Mr. A and Mr. B) who were on a journey, Mr. A slapped Mr. B and Mr. B wrote on the sand, my best friend slapped me. When they got to the river, Mr. B had a hard time crossing over, and Mr. B assisted him, and when they got to the shore, Mr. A wrote on the rock, my best friend saved my life.
When they got to their destination, Mr. A asked Mr. B, “Why did you write on the sand when I slapped you and wrote on the rock I saved your life when I saved your life?” Mr. B answered, when anyone hurts you, it’s advisable to write it on the sand because the water will wash it away, but when anyone does you a favor write it on your heart (rock) where it can’t be erased. This is the attitude of dealing with stress. The moral is when we focus on the negative aspect of life, it has a way of increasing our sorrows.
Still on gratitude, as a healthy way of living life, before the day is over reflect on your day and review your accomplishment by appreciating yourself. Most of the time, we don’t take time to celebrate little wins. If you do this, it’s capable of relieving your stress.
Planning
Another way of managing stress is by planning. As humans, sometimes, we tend to leave important things until the last minute before we begin to prepare. This attitude is capable of leading to stress because we will be joggling between meeting up and not forgetting anything. But when we plan, we reduce the stress magnet. So, here is my advice, consider planning your day at least 24hours to avoid unnecessary stress hormones creeping in.
Still on planning, it’s highly advisable for one to avoid wasting time on frivolous activities. There are lots of time-wasting activities that don’t add meaningful progress and value to our life. Most of the time, we spend major time on minor activities that have little impact in our life and spend less time on major activities that’s suppose to add value to our life.
Rest
Do you know that stress can be reduced by taking a thirty-minute walk? Most people don’t know that nature is beautiful. Spending time with nature is a blissful experience most people are yet to explore. For instance, walking has a way of boosting our mental state of mind. Walking is not only a form of exercise, but also a form of resting.
Also, consider taking a deep breath every morning by breathing excessively. This habit if properly nurtured can be a game changer. For instance, if you encounter an unpleasant situation, just breathe in and out deeply and say, this too shall pass. Also consider drinking water every day, it has a way of relieving one from stress.
Practice Kindness
A great act of stress reduction that has greatly helped me is by practicing acts of kindness. On a personal note, whenever I’m stressed, and I see someone who is feeling stressed and I’m able to counsel or assist the person to feel good, I tend to feel much better. Overtime, I began to wonder, does it mean for me to be happy, I must show other people love and concern. The inherent message here is that I do feel good whenever I put smiles on people’s faces. This is a rare trait only people with a heart of service and empathy can exhibit. Consider doing a rare act of kindness and see the effect it will have on your mental being.
Reading
Do you know some people relieve stress by reading? Yes, reading has an impact on our mindset. Christians who read the Bible do feel a form of relief especially when they see stories which are related to theirs. Also, the Bible has a way of encouraging us to be strong when we go through storms. For instance, the Bible states in Matthew 11:28, “come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy load and I will give you rest”.
Do you know when we learn something new everyday, it can help us to reduce stress because it will take our mind out from the stress we are dealing with. So, consider reading or learning something new today.
Declutter Your Mind.
Our mindset is very strong. It’s whatever we feed the mind that it will process. Decluttering the mind is a great way of relieving stress. We juggle through many things due to the vicissitudes of life, we deal with family issues, work issues, personal issues, mental issues, business, government etc. All this has the capacity to weigh us down and thereby give us stress.
We can declutter the mind by meditating at least 30 minutes every day. I personally do this at intervals during the day, but mostly during my quiet moments in the morning and night. When we allow stress to fill our mind, there’s little we can do. To fix stress, I do apply the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr which says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.
In conclusion, stress is not healthy for our mental health. To be productive, one must be mentally, spiritually, physically, and financially stable. So, whenever one experiences stress, please seek help.
President Bola Tinubu has extended his “working vacation” in Europe by a few days and is expected to return to Nigeria at the weekend, the Presidency said on Monday.
The announcement came as Vice President Kashim Shettima represents the President at the 81st United Nations General Assembly in New York, where he is scheduled to deliver Nigeria’s national statement.
Tinubu departed Nigeria on August 30 to begin his working vacation in London. After spending one week in the United Kingdom, he proceeded to Paris, France, where he held meetings with French President Emmanuel Macron and businessman Vincent Bolloré.
Bolloré’s media interests include Canal+, MultiChoice and Universal Music Group.
A statement signed on Monday by Bayo Onanuga, Special Adviser to the President on Information and Strategy, said Tinubu has remains in touch with developments at home and continued to direct the affairs of government despite being away from Nigeria.
One of the major decisions taken by the President during the period was his directive for an independent investigation into the deaths of 37 suspected illegal miners in Minna following their detention by the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps.
The deaths had raised concerns over the circumstances surrounding the detention and treatment of the miners, prompting the President to order an independent probe.
Tinubu’s decision to extend his stay abroad means he will not personally attend the opening of the high-level segment of the UN General Assembly in New York. Shettima, who departed Abuja on September 20, is representing the President at the global gathering and will present Nigeria’s national statement.
The Presidency said the Vice President’s representation was part of the arrangements for Tinubu’s absence from the country.
With Shettima now in New York, the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Senator George Akume, will continue to represent the President at some official functions.
The Presidency said Tinubu had also delegated the Vice President to represent him at official functions while he was away, while Akume had similarly stepped in at other engagements.
The President’s extended stay in Europe also comes amid increased political activities at home ahead of the 2027 general elections.
According to the Presidency, the Director-General of the Presidential Campaign Council, Senator Abubakar Yari, has been leading notable leaders of the ruling party in consultations with prominent traditional rulers across the country.
The consultations form part of ongoing political engagements as the administration moves towards the next electoral cycle.
The Presidency also reacted strongly to criticism over Tinubu’s decision not to attend the UN General Assembly personally.
It described as irresponsible what it called a “baseless insinuation” by former Vice President Atiku Abubakar and a United States-based lobbying firm headed by an ex-convict regarding the President’s non-attendance at the global gathering.
The Presidency maintained that Nigeria would be adequately represented by Shettima, who will deliver the country’s national statement.
Tinubu’s latest trip began as an official working vacation, during which the President combined his leave with selected diplomatic, business and governmental engagements.
His meeting with Macron in Paris provided an opportunity for discussions on bilateral relations, while his engagement with Bolloré focused on business and investment interests involving Nigeria.
Former Vice President Atiku Abubakar has urged President Bola Tinubu to take immediate steps to reduce the cost of petrol, saying Nigerians are struggling with the combined impact of high energy, transportation and food prices.
Atiku made the call on Friday in Abuja during a press briefing on fuel prices, palliatives and the rising cost of living. His comments came amid renewed concerns over the effect of higher petrol prices on households and businesses.
The African Democratic Congress (ADC) presidential candidate said the removal of petrol subsidy in May 2023 placed additional pressure on families, workers, farmers and businesses.
He said the effect of higher petrol prices was not limited to motorists, as increased transportation and logistics costs had also pushed up the prices of food and other essential goods.
“When government makes energy expensive, it makes life expensive,” Atiku said.
The former vice president recalled that he had previously called for government intervention to reduce petrol prices, but said Tinubu had dismissed the proposal as showing “serious ignorance” of governance and the economy.
Atiku questioned whether the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC), petroleum marketers, manufacturers and ordinary Nigerians who had raised concerns about rising costs could all be described as ignorant.
“When workers, producers, marketers and ordinary families are all raising the alarm, government must listen,” he said.
He said the government should be prepared to review its policies when their consequences become difficult for citizens to bear, adding that rising production costs were putting further pressure on manufacturers while families were finding it harder to afford basic goods.
Atiku also argued that government revenue and GDP figures did not necessarily reflect the economic reality facing ordinary Nigerians.
“If government receives more Naira while the citizen’s naira buys less food, less fuel, less electricity and less transportation, then bigger government revenues mean little to the family struggling to survive,” he said.
The ADC candidate urged Tinubu to use the remaining eight months of his first term to reduce the burden on Nigerians and consider any measure capable of lowering petrol prices, even if the proposal came from a political opponent.
“What matters to me is that Nigerians pay less,” Atiku said. “A sensible idea does not become a bad idea because it came from your opponent.”
He also offered to make his policy framework available to the Tinubu administration, saying Nigerians should not have to wait for a new government before benefiting from policies that could provide relief.
“If you need the framework, I will provide it. Implement it under your government. Give it whatever name you choose. Take the credit,” he said.
“I ask for only one thing: Let Nigerians breathe.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Passion and purpose are among the most debated topics in the human development space. It’s a grey area that has attracted a lot of attention. While some schools of thought believe it’s better to focus on passion, other schools of thought believe that it’s profitable for one to focus on a job that pays the bills.
According to the latter school of thought, passion doesn’t pay the bills. Well, depending on the schools of thought one subscribes to, I personally believe it pays more for one to pursue passion than profit, and I will explain in a minute.
I strongly believe passion is stronger than power because when one loves what one is doing, there’s an inherent strength that comes with it, but if one doesn’t like what they are doing, they’ll lack the moral strength to forge on.
Let me share a practical example with you. My late dad encouraged me to study Taxation Law at New York Law School, a major I didn’t like. He had the mindset that money rules the world, which I tend to believe because when money talks, the world “generally” seems to move around. That mindset and principle is relatable; however, it’s not applicable in other cases because there are some people or situations where money doesn’t move around.
My late dad believed it makes no sense for me to read a major and remain unemployable or poor. So, when I arrived in the United States, the economy was experiencing a recession, and there were no jobs at the time. So, while I was passionate about studying International Relations, Energy Law, or Communications Law, my late dad sat me down and said, based on the information he was receiving from his friends, these are great courses, but when I graduate, it will be hard to find a job because most people in those firms are laying off employees.
According to my late dad, his friends suggested that since I have a legal background, tax law is the only major I can study and be guaranteed a job because people and corporations will always file their tax returns. I initially objected to this advice because my brain is not wired for numbers. I really struggled to accept this advice because I hated numbers with passion.
My late dad would later tell me, you know we are from a humble background, and so we need money. My late dad would always say, “You wouldn’t want to study international law or communication, and the only thing you can do very well is speak English while remaining poor. One fact about my late dad was that he liked money to a stupor. According to him, after God, the most important thing in the world is money.
After much hesitation, I decided to study the major to make my late dad happy because I saw how happy he would be when I studied tax law. If truth be told, I wasn’t happy studying the major. I really struggled with the major. I managed to get a scholarship and graduated with a decent grade, but getting a job was challenging because employers could see that I didn’t like the major each time I went for an interview.
At the end of the day, I managed to get a job as a Case Manager for a private organization and later as the Legal Coordinator for the New York City Department of Correction. An important point to note here is that, after I left the tax firm, I was intentional about applying for jobs I was passionate about. Money to me was a secondary concern because I strongly believe that when you love what you do and you are good at it, money will surely find you.
I had to share this practical experience to give an insight into the importance of focusing on passion. Don’t get me wrong, money is good, but I personally feel there are more valuable things than money, and a perfect example is marrying a kind man as opposed to marrying a man with money, or marrying a lady with good character as opposed to marrying a lady with a good physique.
It’s instructive to note that when I began to focus on what I love to do, I had to spend time on honing my skills, developing myself by attending relevant training sessions and taking courses that would distinguish me from my contemporaries. It didn’t take long for me to receive recognition for my work. I was celebrated for being a trailblazing author of three books on television; I was interviewed by The New York Times in addition to meeting resourceful global leaders. In all sincerity, I doubt if I would have received accolades assuming I focused on taxation or doing what would give me money.
The moral of this analysis is that while profit is good, passion is much better because it will give one the necessary satisfaction and fulfilment they deserve. To understand how this works, one might make good money in a job but won’t be happy, but someone else might make little money and be happy in what they are doing. If research is done on what makes one happy, most people will likely say it is their passion or what they love to do that makes them happy as opposed to the job they do. It’s only a fragment of people who will attribute their happiness to the job they do, and that’s simply because they have truly figured out who they are or are probably happy and passionate about the work they do.
Let me explain a little: your profession is what you are trained to do as a doctor, lawyer, accountant, or engineer. Your vocation is what you are trained to do as a skilled worker or one with a 9-to-5 job, but your ministry is your calling, and that’s why you find your talent or gift and passion. So, one’s passion can be found in what they love to do.
When one’s profession is aligned with one’s vocation and ministry, then success is bound to be present because passion is at play.
It’s instructive to note that most of the great people I know in the world have become famous because they were doing what they love to do. I recently attended an award ceremony where my alma mater, Baruch College, celebrated alumni who have distinguished themselves. One of the award recipients, Ms. Doris Gonzalez, stated in her speech, “Of all the jobs I have had in my life, this is my best job. I really love my job”. I strongly believe there is a form of spiritual blessing and success that comes when one is happy doing what one is passionate about.
In conclusion, if one is desirous of succeeding in life, please endeavor to focus on your passion; if you can’t find it, explore what makes you happy. When you find what makes you happy, develop and monetize it, and in no distant time, opportunities and recognition will begin to triple in.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
