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Food for Living: How to Handle Stress

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear destiny friends,

Nobody is immune to stress. Fact. Stress is an admixture of natural and emotional causes. Fact. Stress can be managed. Fact.

According to a sage, managing stress is like sitting on a chair; one will continue to adjust until he gets a comfortable position.

In recent times, stress has been laid side by side with the female specie, in the sense that both has a lot in common. As a result, a school of thought has opined that managing a woman is akin to managing stress. But the good news is both can be managed if the right parameter or plug is pulled.

Stress, like the woman, is a “necessary evil” that can’t be avoided. It is, like a woman, a heavy to carry, and so cannot be carried with one hand. A friend once jokingly told me that ‘when you carry a woman who is too heavy for you, consider “offloading” her’. And that’s what we do to stress when it encroaches.

As human beings, we all experience stress in different areas and stages of life. There’s nothing anyone does that does not involve stress. As a student, one must undergo the stress of reading to pass an examination. As a woman, one must undergo the stress of child delivery and raising a child.

As a man, one must involve the stress of working and providing for the family. As a career professional, an employee must undergo the stress of being punctual at work and doing the needful to gain recognition. Even as a Christian, one must avoid certain practices to stay faithful in the sight of God. The list is literally endless.

The big question we must answer or deal with here is how do we manage stress? There are different ways we handle stress just like there are different ways we solve problems. We don’t solve a problem the way the problems come to us; it takes wisdom to solve a problem. Sometimes, we solve a problem with silence, action, and technicality. That’s the same way we handle stress.

I will be sharing helpful tips we can use to handle stress. As human beings, whenever we experience stress, we tend to forget what’s happening around us and focus on the stress. We even forget the positive things that have happened to us. For instance, a woman who is pregnant will technically forget all the good things her partner or anyone  has done for her, she will even forget what’s happening in the world, her focus will be on the stress of the pregnancy.  That’s the reality of life.

So here is my candid advice for anyone who is experiencing stress.

Identify stress exist

First, one will have to admit he/she is experiencing or undergoing stress, and as such seek help. I say this because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. When the problem has been identified, the next step is to look for the person with the solution. According to the sage, knowledge is of two kinds, it’s either you know the answer, or you know where to find it.

Practice Gratitude.

It’s indisputable we do have good and bad days as humans, so a great way of living life is by trying to be grateful for what life brings to us knowing fully well the universe has previously brought good days to us. It’s sad, as human beings, we tend to mostly focus on the negative things humans have done to us instead of focusing more on the good things they have done.

Let me share a story I recently about gratitude, there are two friends (Mr. A and Mr. B) who were on a journey, Mr. A slapped Mr. B and Mr. B wrote on the sand, my best friend slapped me. When they got to the river, Mr. B had a hard time crossing over, and Mr. B assisted him, and when they got to the shore, Mr. A wrote on the rock, my best friend saved my life.

When they got to their destination, Mr. A asked Mr. B, “Why did you write on the sand when I slapped you and wrote on the rock I saved your life when I saved your life?” Mr. B answered, when anyone hurts you, it’s advisable to write it on the sand because the water will wash it away, but when anyone does you a favor write it on your heart (rock) where it can’t be erased. This is the attitude of dealing with stress. The moral is when we focus on the negative aspect of life, it has a way of increasing our sorrows.

Still on gratitude, as a healthy way of living life, before the day is over reflect on your day and review your accomplishment by appreciating yourself. Most of the time, we don’t take time to celebrate little wins. If you do this, it’s capable of relieving your stress.

Planning

Another way of managing stress is by planning. As humans, sometimes, we tend to leave important things until the last minute before we begin to prepare. This attitude is capable of leading to stress because we will be joggling between meeting up and not forgetting anything. But when we plan, we reduce the stress magnet. So, here is my advice, consider planning your day at least 24hours to avoid unnecessary stress hormones creeping in.

Still on planning, it’s highly advisable for one to avoid wasting time on frivolous activities. There are lots of time-wasting activities that don’t add meaningful progress and value to our life. Most of the time, we spend major time on minor activities that have little impact in our life and spend less time on major activities that’s suppose to add value to our life.

Rest

Do you know that stress can be reduced by taking a thirty-minute walk? Most people don’t know that nature is beautiful. Spending time with nature is a blissful experience most people are yet to explore. For instance, walking has a way of boosting our mental state of mind. Walking is not only a form of exercise, but also a form of resting.

Also, consider taking a deep breath every morning by breathing excessively. This habit if properly nurtured can be a game changer. For instance, if you encounter an unpleasant situation, just breathe in and out deeply and say, this too shall pass. Also consider drinking water every day, it has a way of relieving one from stress.

Practice Kindness

A great act of stress reduction that has greatly helped me is by practicing acts of kindness. On a personal note, whenever I’m stressed, and I see someone who is feeling stressed and I’m able to counsel or assist the person to feel good, I tend to feel much better. Overtime, I began to wonder, does it mean for me to be happy, I must show other people love and concern. The inherent message here is that I do feel good whenever I put smiles on people’s faces. This is a rare trait only people with a heart of service and empathy can exhibit. Consider doing a rare act of kindness and see the effect it will have on your mental being.

Reading

Do you know some people relieve stress by reading? Yes, reading has an impact on our mindset. Christians who read the Bible do feel a form of relief especially when they see stories which are related to theirs. Also, the Bible has a way of encouraging us to be strong when we go through storms. For instance, the Bible states in Matthew 11:28, “come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy load and I will give you rest”.

Do you know when we learn something new everyday, it can help us to reduce stress because it will take our mind out from the stress we are dealing with. So, consider reading or learning something new today.

Declutter Your Mind.

Our mindset is very strong. It’s whatever we feed the mind that it will process. Decluttering the mind is a great way of relieving stress. We juggle through many things due to the vicissitudes of life, we deal with family issues, work issues, personal issues, mental issues, business, government etc. All this has the capacity to weigh us down and thereby give us stress.

We can declutter the mind by meditating at least 30 minutes every day. I personally do this at intervals during the day, but mostly during my quiet moments in the morning and night. When we allow stress to fill our mind, there’s little we can do. To fix stress, I do apply the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr which says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

In conclusion, stress is not healthy for our mental health. To be productive, one must be mentally, spiritually, physically, and financially stable. So, whenever one experiences stress, please seek help.

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2027: NDC Accuses INEC of Replacing Candidates with ‘Strange Names’

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Ahead of the 2027 general elections, the Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) has accused the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) of removing some of its nominated candidates from the commission’s list and replacing them with names allegedly unknown to the party.

The National Chairman of the party, Senator Moses Cleopas Zuwoghe, made the allegation in a statement on Sunday, following INEC’s publication of candidates for the 2027 State Houses of Assembly elections.

Cleopas said the names published by INEC, particularly in Anambra State, suggested an attempt to undermine the party ahead of the elections and create disaffection among its supporters.

The NDC chairman specifically alleged that nine persons whose names were not authorised or submitted by the party had been listed as its candidates in various constituencies in Anambra State, the home state of the party’s presidential candidate, Peter Obi.

He called on the INEC Chairman to immediately investigate the development and determine how the names got onto the commission’s list.

Cleopas also urged INEC to extend the investigation to other states, including Benue and Imo, where he said the party had observed a similar pattern.

According to him, the development had embarrassed the party, its leadership and its genuine candidates, while creating disaffection among its supporters in Nigeria and the Diaspora.

“We, as a party, are also carrying out our own independent investigation, the preliminary findings of which are already pointing to the complicity of INEC officials in foisting names purporting to be our candidates, but who are not from us,” he alleged.

He said the party’s investigation indicated that the uploading process was being used to intimidate and embarrass the NDC.

The party listed the following persons as names allegedly published by INEC as its candidates in Anambra:

Onitsha South 1 — Umennaajiego Jude Ezenwa
Onitsha South 2 — Akpotue Obinna Chibuike
Orumba North — Nwankwo Chiemerie
Anaocha 1 — Maduagwu Eric K
Idemili North — Ngoebisi Obinna
Njikoka 1 — Isintume Charles
Nnewi South — Nwachukwu Nonso
Nnewi South 2 — Okeke Ifeanyi Akunne
Ayamelum — Nnonyelu Samson E
Dunukofia — Azotani Chuks Francis

Cleopas, however, said the party is particularly concerned about the process through which the names were uploaded and published.

He said after the conclusion of the party’s primaries and appeal process, stakeholders from Anambra, the party leadership, representatives of Obi and the appeals panel agreed on a final list of candidates.

According to him, the list was signed off by the relevant stakeholders before being uploaded to the INEC portal using the code provided to the party by the electoral commission.

He alleged that INEC officials subsequently kept nine of the names on “Pending” status, claiming that the names were already in the commission’s system based on submissions by officials who monitored the party’s primaries.

Cleopas said the NDC formally challenged the names and submitted the identities of candidates it said were legitimately nominated by the party, but INEC allegedly declined to replace the disputed names.

He further alleged that INEC subsequently collected Form EC-9 directly from the persons whose names were in dispute and uploaded the forms without going through the party.

“To further confirm that there was a predetermined effort on the part of INEC to impose the said nine candidates on the party, and embarrass both NDC and Mr. Peter Obi, INEC went behind the NDC to collect the Form EC-9 directly from the candidates, bypassing the party, and uploading same,” he alleged.

Cleopas argued that where there was a discrepancy between names submitted by a political party and information received by INEC from its monitoring teams, the commission should have left the affected positions vacant pending clarification, rather than publish names the party said it did not nominate.

“At the very worst, INEC could have left us with no candidates for those positions, if they knew they were unwilling to engage us in addressing any perceived anomaly,” he said.

The NDC chairman accused INEC of creating a pattern in which opposition parties were allegedly prevented from uploading their preferred candidates while other names were introduced into their candidate lists.

He vowed that the party would pursue the matter through all available legal channels and seek to have what it described as its authentic candidates restored.

“We are moving to approach the court of competent jurisdiction to seek redress and restore our authentic candidates. The general public and our millions of supporters should note that these are not our candidates,” he said.

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Nepal Begins Burials As Flood Death Toll Rises to 752

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Nepal said Sunday it had begun burying some of the hundreds of bodies recovered after devastating floods, after taking DNA samples and marking them so families can later retrieve them.

The dead are traditionally cremated on funeral pyres in Hindu-majority Nepal, so the burials are viewed as long-term storage until families can retrieve them.

Foreign Secretary Amrit Bahadur Rai told reporters that all those buried were carefully recorded, but also appealed for international support, saying Nepal needed “more than a thousand” freezer units to store bodies.

The announcement of the burials came as Nepal’s disaster ministry increased its toll again on Sunday to 752 bodies recovered and 2,502 people missing.

That list includes 589 foreigners unaccounted for.

Chinese state media earlier confirmed 16 dead in Tibet and 546 people missing following Wednesday’s disaster, taking the overall toll to 768 dead and 3,048 unaccounted for.

“Following standard and accepted protocols, such as those of ICRC (Red Cross), the mortal remains of the dead, especially those not recognisable… have been temporarily buried,” Rai told reporters.

“Medical teams took DNA samples from every victim prior to the burial so that families can match-reference later, and would be allowed to exhume for necessary rituals.”

Nepal has called for freezer storage units and DNA testing kits, as it is overwhelmed with the number of bodies to store safely.

“We have requested different countries for freezers; we will need more than a thousand,” Rai added.

“Many dead bodies have been collected, and they have started decomposing. To preserve public health, we had to bury the decomposing bodies,” he added.

AFP

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Food for Living: Be a Person of Influence

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Everyone loves influence. Everyone wants to be a person of influence. Everyone wants to be relevant. Everyone wants to be celebrated. Everyone likes attention, appreciation, approval, and admiration. All these are products of influence.

The question I need you to ask yourself is, are you a person of influence? Are you influencing anyone? Do you have a positive or negative influence on your children, spouse, friends, mentors/mentee, or even strangers? Take a minute to listen to yourself.

When we talk about influence, uninformed minds just think influence is only about money, power, authority, or even being a mentor. Influence is far from it. We are all influencers in one way or another. Many people have influenced us in different ways, some positive, some negative. Similarly, we have also influenced many people in good and bad ways.

But today, I’m here to share with you what influence is about and the positive ways one can be a person of influence. Influence comes in different ways: as a politician, you are influencing people; as a leader, you are influencing policy; as a youth advocate, mentor, teacher, pastor, and employee, you are influencing somebody in one way or the other.

Do you know you can influence someone with your lifestyle? Yes, the way you talk, write, lead, dress, eat, exercise, preach the word of God, do your job, serve people, train your children, etc., are all part of influence. Influence is powerful. It has a way of permeating someone without them knowing.  I believe that’s why my late mother would always say, if you are hanging out with a friend, only take the good part and leave the bad part.

We currently live in the 21st century, where the internet leads. The internet is regarded as the fifth estate for a reason, because it empowers networked individuals and alternative media to hold traditional institutions, governments, and mainstream media accountable. Everyone and almost everything is on the internet; however, sometimes, the information we get on the internet is regarded as fake because it’s unverified.

In some quarters, the internet has been regarded as a bad influence on the younger generation because of the limited restrictions and the negative information it has exposed their minds to think in a particular way. Some other schools of thought have opined that the internet has done more good than harm due to the knowledge it has exposed their minds to, as opposed to the information being peddled by some other schools of thought. Regardless of the aisle one belongs to, the internet truly has its pros and cons, especially as it relates to influence.

The big question one needs to answer is what influence is. According to Nosakhare Tune Oni – A Pan-African Strategist, leadership and business coach, “influence is when people trust your judgment enough to act on it. It is when someone calls you before making an important decision. When your recommendation opens a door. When your name carries weight in a room, you’re not even in. When people are willing to put their reputation behind yours. That’s influence.

Let’s take a minute to dwell on those lines again. Has anyone played any of such roles in your life? If yes, that’s the best definition of influence in a nutshell.  Influence is not about quantity, but quality.   The quality of people in your life is more valuable than the quantity of people one’s life. Do you know we don’t really need battalions of friends, whether online or in person, but just one person of influence can be a game-changer. According to Les Brown, a leadership coach, we need only quality people.

Do you know we are everywhere and nowhere at the same time? Do you also know that we can be everywhere and still have very little influence? Influence is about knowing your value and the right people who appreciate the value you bring. Do you know one can be a person of value to the wrong person or audience?

Influence is about having followers who believe and follow your teaching. We can have visibility with little or no influence. One may have 100,000 followers. We may trend on Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, LinkedIn, or even WhatsApp. Your name is a household name.  That is visibility.

Let me give you a practical example. If you have a large crowd of people following you online or in person. The critical question one must ask oneself is: why are they following me? Are they following me because of my ideology, my talent/gift, academic process, position, profession, vocation, skill, or jokes? If they follow you because of the ideology you represent, you are a person of influence. If they are following you because of your jokes, you may be a content creator or comedian with little or no value in influencing them to do or not do certain things. Real influence provokes action.

According to Nosakhare Tune Oni, influence is built differently from attention. Attention can be bought. Influence must be earned. You can manufacture visibility with advertising, controversy, or constant posting. But you cannot manufacture trust that easily. It comes from consistently being useful. Keeping your word. Knowing what you’re talking about. Showing up when it matters. Building relationships before you need them.
And creating value for people without constantly asking, “What’s in it for me?”

Do you know a person with 1,000 followers and deep trust within a particular industry may have more real influence than someone with 100,000 followers who nobody listens to.  So, I don’t think the goal should simply be: “How many people know me?” A better question is: “How much does my presence actually change things?” Because visibility gets you noticed. Value gets you remembered. Trust gets you listened to, but influence is what happens when people trust your value enough to move.

As I prepare to conclude, please take a minute to ask yourself: are you a person of influence? Do you have influence? What positive influence have you had on people or anyone? Today, I want you to be a man/lady of influence like Martin Luther King Jnr, Mother Theresea, Evangelist Ebuka Obi, President Nelson Mandela, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Dr. Kola Adesina, Dr. Joe Abah, Dr. Dele Momodu, Barr. Henry Ukazu and Miss Ginika Dike.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to SuccessUnleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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