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Food for Living: Managing Emotions with Meditations and Reflections
By Henry Ukazu
Dear destiny Friends,
The constant truth remains that every living being feels things differently, and at the same time, reacts differently to situations.
Much as everyone faces challenges in the journey of time, the individual reaction to each of the challenges ultimately determines the difference. Whether it is failure in relationship, business, health, personal or even professional life, it’s important to note that no one is alone; everyone has a fair share of the challenges of life, but the ultimate difference is how one manages the situation. These challenges can lead to high profile emotions.
In the course of this analysis, however, two powerful forces in the management of emotions or the vicissitudes of life, which are meditation and reflection, will be highlighted.
Emotions are powerful because they can push you to greatness and can also make you make the greatest loss of your life. Let’s think about it for a minute, how many times have people said something they later regretted? How many emotions have been broken because of uncontrolled emotions? How many opportunities have been lost because someone reacted impulsively instead of thinking things through? It should be noted, if you cannot control your emotions, they will control you and when they control you, they will make you weak and easily manipulated.
As we experience life in different dimensions, waves will come, some will be storms, while some will be current. One of the greatest skills one can have is staying calm in the midst of pressure, stressful situations or in the face of adversity, and this is because one is able to train their mind.
Managing emotions is not as easy as it appears. Imagine loving someone and you get hurt by the person. Trust me, it will surely hit you hard, the only time one might not feel so bad is when they don’t really like the person. Managing emotions is like managing human relationships. It’s a skill that needs to be cultivated. The ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. Before you can manage people, one should be able to manage themself. This is because human beings are the most difficult set of people to manage.
One of the most treasured skills any human being can have is building sustainable relationships. Building a solid relationship is like building a house on a solid foundation. One don’t need to be afraid if the house will collapse because the foundation is very strong. In the same way, when friendship has been truly tested and loyalty established, one don’t need to fear if betrayal will set in and if it does, one has to endeavor to manage it well because life happens sometimes.
Training your mind to stay in every situation is like training the muscle, at first it’s difficult because you feel like reacting immediately, but the ability to stay calm can be a game change which will pay off much more. Imagine being at the gym, you won’t get muscle but overtime you will get muscle when you constantly lift weight. That’s how one trains the mind, overtime, one will grow in maturity.
This process requires patience and consistency. Some days you will succeed, some days, you will fall back to old habits. The key is to keep going. Every time you stay calm instead of reacting, you strengthen your mental discipline, every time you take a deep breath without speaking, you build emotional intelligence, everytime you let go of something that is not worth your peace, you take back your emotional power.
Make a firm commitment to train your mind, the next time you feel frustrated. If people provoke you to breathe, if life throws a challenge at you, step back before reacting. A person who has mastered his emotions has mastered life.
How to manage your emotion
Awareness: Aware is a great way to manage emotions. There are several ways to observe how you feel when somebody says something negative to you. You respond with intelligence. Self and social awareness is a critical tool for emotional intelligence.
Detach from need to always react
When an irrational act comes across your way, you don’t have to respond immediately. Most times we are quick to respond. Maturity teaches one not to respond to everything, learn to be selective on what you react to, and you do this by selecting your battles. This act helps to conserve your power. Sometimes, we allow small disagreements to affect our mindset. Moral: know what worth your time.
It’s instructive to note that you can’t control everything, but you can control yourself. Life happens, so don’t try to control what is out of your hands, that’s basically a waste of energy. The words you tell yourself shape your emotions and your emotions shape your actions. When you take control of your thoughts and actions, you take control of your life.
To manage emotions, we have to stop listening to our emotions and instead make our feelings listen to us because our emotions can be a trap for us. Whether as a man or lady, when you allow your emotions to control, you will become a slave to the person. It’s just like money, most people are slaves to money because they allow money to control them instead of controlling money.
As a man, when you allow anger to take a hold of you, it will cloud your sense of reasoning, and when that happens, one will understand that actions have consequences. In the same way, some ladies are loyal and slave to their feelings. They allow temporary pain to have permanent stain and pain to their life. If only they had applied a little bit of caution and discernment, they would have gotten a different result.
When it comes to managing your emotions, what you focus on, grows. It’s advisable to choose peace over chaos. The calmer you are, the stronger you become. When you feel stress, anger and frustration, your mind will amplify it, but when you focus on solutions, you develop inner strength.
Do you know that in managing your emotions, you can feel angry and act calm. This is the highest of an emotional intelligence a balanced leader can exhibit.
It is instructive to note that we don’t belong to our feelings. Our feelings belong to us. We control how we want to feel, but most times as humans we don’t know the power we have. The feeling of sadness and joy is entirely up to us. We allow circumstances to dictate how we feel, what we fail to understand is that circumstances don’t say who we are, they reveal who we are. For instance, one might have little or no cash, imagine receiving a huge credit alert, it will change one’s attitude. That’s how we allow our emotions to control us.
Let’s switch the scenario to a case where a man has no cash to solve his problems, and some tries to offer him cash through fraudulent means, if he rejects the money, that tells you he’s in charge of his emotions and feelings.
Let’s see another situation where a man trying to talk to a lady, the man might have the resources and appurtenance that comes with wooing a lady, and the lady refuses on the ground that he does not appeal to her. Ordinarily, most ladies will give him to the man’s requests, but for this lady, there are qualities that appeal to her more. That means she manages she’s not a slave to her feelings and emotions.
In conclusion, when you wake up every day, you have the right to tell yourself how you feel or let your feelings control you. You can either feel depressed or speak to the depression and order it to transform into an expression of joy. Trust me when you, it will obey you. Don’t be mastered by your emotions. Instead, master them, and you will matter in life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There are, without an iota of doubt, certain acts that are beyond human comprehension and articulation. That’s not debatable.
Let’s take a case study of how we sleep. Did you know that whenever you sleep you are practicing how you will die? Yes, because whenever sleep comes, we don’t know where we are or where our spirit goes. At most one might see himself dreaming in wonderland, only to wake up if it’s a nightmare or the creator (God) decides to wake him up through someone.
An uninformed mind might say my body system is accustomed to waking up at a certain hour or I have my alarm clock. I laugh each time I hear certain statements like that because there have been numerous occasions where some of us sleep and our body system fails to wake us up or due to exhaustion, we fail to hear the alarm or even remember we have an alarm.
Let me ask you, haven’t you seen a system where one sets an alarm clock and one still fails to wake up, haven’t you even seen a situation where some sleeps and fails to wake up. There are many case studies on this. The message here is that there are certain acts that’s beyond human comprehension.
I honestly think the highest miracle on earth is how one can sleep and wake up. Some other person might say, it’s the act of procreation, regardless of which aisle belongs to, certain acts can only be described as the hand of God.
Let me make a disclosure here, this article is not spirituality, rather it is targeted towards explaining how unpredictable life can be and as such human beings ought to be humble because nobody knows tomorrow. The reason why I had to begin by explaining how certain acts are beyond human imagination and comprehension is to highlight the limitations of man especially when it comes to things of the spirit.
If spirituality can work that way, human beings can also be limited in their understanding. If you would like to get a good perspective and understanding of how life can be unpredictable. Imagine how President Hussein Obama became the 44th President of the United States of America. Who would have believed a Black man with Kenya origin can become the President of the greatest country on earth?
The interesting part was that he was able to beat two white men John McCain and Mitt Rommey consecutively during the 2008 and 2012 presidential election. One may ask, is that the hand of God? I will say yes, because there’s no person who becomes a leader either by hook or by crime, all things being equal without the hand of God on it. What the person does when the person gets the opportunity to serve is up to the person.
It’s instructive to note the highest freedom human beings have is the freedom of choice. On a personal note, I can testify to the hand of God upon my life. My story is truly humbling. Let me first begin by stating that God will show mercy on whom he decides to show mercy. During my formative years in New York City, I joined the Nigerian Lawyers Association, and during the election period, I contested for the post of the Public Relations Officer, as fate may have it I won unopposed.
It’s important to note that I was still in Law School at the said time, so my understanding, articulation and writing wasn’t in good shape.
Because the creator wanted me to serve in that position, he was gracious enough to provide mentors and benefactors who supported me along the journey, and till date I still enjoy the good will. The most interesting part for me was the network I developed during the period, and I still enjoy the goodwill and relationship till date.
In all sincerity, sometimes I do wonder if I had not joined the association and contested for the position of Public Relations Officer, would I have known these benefactors who have been of blessing to me?
Again, I remember when I resigned from my job as a Case Manager to see my grandmother who poured her heart to me by showering me with heartfelt prayers. A little background story to this interesting experience. When I came back to New York, I didn’t have job, I was on the street of New York trying to market my book and as God may have it, I met a news anchor on the street who took interest in my work and as God will have it, he facilitated my interview twice on the television and I became a regular guest on the television.
Here is the interesting part of the story, imagine if I had not resigned from my job to see my late grandmother who was hale and hearty at the said time. Maybe her prayers contributed to my blessings. But the mysterious part was how I was able to leave my house to a random spot and how this young man had to leave his office to do some work on the spot. It can only be the hand of God.
I believe, as human beings we all have our fair share of opportunities and blessings. Some we feel we deserve and some we feel we don’t serve but are favored. If not, how can one explain how some people will be working for people more qualified than them. There might be lots of controversies and opinions on it. How can one explain a series of car accidents and plane crashes and a little child or some people were miraculously saved?
How can one explain a case where a stranger meets a benefactor who changed his life. How can one explain how a mentor can find favor in a mentee and open his doors of access and network for him. There have been cases of people struggling to get grants, jobs, and opportunities for years, but as due to some stroke of luck, someone else got the opportunity.
How can we explain the fact that someone will just see someone and instantly connect and like them. The list is numerous.
Life has truly taught us to be humble because nobody knows tomorrow. Just like death is the greatest humbler in life because both the rich and poor will be buried on the same ground, education can be attributed to the second most humbling experience in life because the child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated. In America, the child of a nobody can become somebody tomorrow without knowing anyone.
Sometimes some people think that because their father or mother is influential, they can become some influential person tomorrow, they fail to realize tomorrow is not guaranteed. Imagine a man who is the President or Governor today trying to position his child to become the Governor or President tomorrow. The man doesn’t even know how many Governors and President will come after him before his child becomes of age or matured enough to lead. The child might even work for one of his fathers’ staff children when the time works because nobody knows tomorrow.
There have been cases of some people who think they might get a certain position and at the end of the day, someone of less status gets the position. Such is life.
In conclusion, as we journey on the road called life, there is no doubt that there is luck, grace, favor, and the hand of God. No doubt life can be strange and filled with many vicissitudes, but in all, it’s always good for one to do their best and leave the rest for God.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The management of Dangote Refinery has terminated the employment of all its Nigerian workers.
The statement to this effect was shared on X, Wednesday, by a political commentator, Imran Wakili.
“Dangote Refinery has officially laid off all of its Nigerian workers under the guise of “reorganization”, less than 24 hours after 90% of them joined PENGASSAN,” he wrote.
Wakili said the development comes less than 24 hours after 90 percent of them joined the Petroleum and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association of Nigeria, PENGASSAN.
According to a memo dated September 25, 2025, and signed by the Chief General Manager of Human Asset Management, Femi Adekunle, Wakili posted on X, the company said the decision was taken as part of a “total re-organisation” of the plant following reported cases of sabotage in different units of the refinery.
The notice directed affected staff to surrender all company property in their possession to their line managers and obtain exit clearance.
The finance department was also instructed to compute benefits and entitlements for payment in line with terms of employment.
The refinery’s management thanked the dismissed workers for their services while in its employment.
DAILY POST reports that Dangote refinery and PENGASSN have been embroiled in a trade dispute over unionization issue.
DailyPost
The Independent Corrupt Practices and Other Related Offences Commission (ICPC) has been asked to investigate the financial activities of the former Sole Administrator of Rivers State, Vice Admiral Ibok-Ete Ekwe Ibas (rtd.).
Human rights lawyer, Deji Adeyanju, through a public interest law firm, has petitioned the ICPC Chairman, stating that Rivers State received at least N283.3 billion under Ibas’ watch between March 18 and September 17, 2025, excluding Internally Generated Revenue (IGR).
According to figures cited from the Office of the Accountant General of the Federation, the amount comprised N36.6 billion in local government allocations for January and February 2025, previously withheld, and N246.7 billion in state and local government allocations between March and June 2025.
“Despite these massive inflows, there is little to no evidence of projects or tangible development carried out by his administration,” the petition alleged.
The group claimed the only visible project was the “cosmetic renovation and painting” of the Rivers State House of Assembly complex.
The law firm further accused Ibas of failing to publish the mandatory budget performance reports for Q2 2025, in violation of transparency laws.
It also faulted comments attributed to his media aide, Hector Igbikiowubu, suggesting that the former administrator was not accountable to the Rivers State House of Assembly.
“Equally troubling are recent statements credited to him, dismissing the authority of the Rivers State House of Assembly to probe his financial conduct. He insists that because he was appointed by the President and supervised by the National Assembly, he was only answerable to them,” the petition read.
The firm urged the ICPC to probe how the ₦283.3bn was applied, determine if misappropriation occurred, and hold Ibas accountable if wrongdoing is established.
“It is in light of the foregoing that we respectfully demand that the ICPC probe the financial expenditure of Vice Admiral Ibok-Ete Ekwe Ibas (rtd.), ascertain how the total amount of N283.3bn was applied, and investigate whether any acts of misappropriation, diversion, or abuse of office occurred during this period,” the petition stated.
Ibas, a retired naval chief and former Chief of Naval Staff (2015–2021), was appointed by President Bola Tinubu in March 2025 as Sole Administrator of Rivers State after the declaration of a state of emergency.
His six-month appointment sparked controversy over its constitutionality and the concentration of executive powers in an unelected administrator. He handed over on September 17, 2025, when Governor Siminalayi Fubara and the Rivers House of Assembly were reinstated.
