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Food for Living: Managing Emotions with Meditations and Reflections
By Henry Ukazu
Dear destiny Friends,
The constant truth remains that every living being feels things differently, and at the same time, reacts differently to situations.
Much as everyone faces challenges in the journey of time, the individual reaction to each of the challenges ultimately determines the difference. Whether it is failure in relationship, business, health, personal or even professional life, it’s important to note that no one is alone; everyone has a fair share of the challenges of life, but the ultimate difference is how one manages the situation. These challenges can lead to high profile emotions.
In the course of this analysis, however, two powerful forces in the management of emotions or the vicissitudes of life, which are meditation and reflection, will be highlighted.
Emotions are powerful because they can push you to greatness and can also make you make the greatest loss of your life. Let’s think about it for a minute, how many times have people said something they later regretted? How many emotions have been broken because of uncontrolled emotions? How many opportunities have been lost because someone reacted impulsively instead of thinking things through? It should be noted, if you cannot control your emotions, they will control you and when they control you, they will make you weak and easily manipulated.
As we experience life in different dimensions, waves will come, some will be storms, while some will be current. One of the greatest skills one can have is staying calm in the midst of pressure, stressful situations or in the face of adversity, and this is because one is able to train their mind.
Managing emotions is not as easy as it appears. Imagine loving someone and you get hurt by the person. Trust me, it will surely hit you hard, the only time one might not feel so bad is when they don’t really like the person. Managing emotions is like managing human relationships. It’s a skill that needs to be cultivated. The ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. Before you can manage people, one should be able to manage themself. This is because human beings are the most difficult set of people to manage.
One of the most treasured skills any human being can have is building sustainable relationships. Building a solid relationship is like building a house on a solid foundation. One don’t need to be afraid if the house will collapse because the foundation is very strong. In the same way, when friendship has been truly tested and loyalty established, one don’t need to fear if betrayal will set in and if it does, one has to endeavor to manage it well because life happens sometimes.
Training your mind to stay in every situation is like training the muscle, at first it’s difficult because you feel like reacting immediately, but the ability to stay calm can be a game change which will pay off much more. Imagine being at the gym, you won’t get muscle but overtime you will get muscle when you constantly lift weight. That’s how one trains the mind, overtime, one will grow in maturity.
This process requires patience and consistency. Some days you will succeed, some days, you will fall back to old habits. The key is to keep going. Every time you stay calm instead of reacting, you strengthen your mental discipline, every time you take a deep breath without speaking, you build emotional intelligence, everytime you let go of something that is not worth your peace, you take back your emotional power.
Make a firm commitment to train your mind, the next time you feel frustrated. If people provoke you to breathe, if life throws a challenge at you, step back before reacting. A person who has mastered his emotions has mastered life.
How to manage your emotion
Awareness: Aware is a great way to manage emotions. There are several ways to observe how you feel when somebody says something negative to you. You respond with intelligence. Self and social awareness is a critical tool for emotional intelligence.
Detach from need to always react
When an irrational act comes across your way, you don’t have to respond immediately. Most times we are quick to respond. Maturity teaches one not to respond to everything, learn to be selective on what you react to, and you do this by selecting your battles. This act helps to conserve your power. Sometimes, we allow small disagreements to affect our mindset. Moral: know what worth your time.
It’s instructive to note that you can’t control everything, but you can control yourself. Life happens, so don’t try to control what is out of your hands, that’s basically a waste of energy. The words you tell yourself shape your emotions and your emotions shape your actions. When you take control of your thoughts and actions, you take control of your life.
To manage emotions, we have to stop listening to our emotions and instead make our feelings listen to us because our emotions can be a trap for us. Whether as a man or lady, when you allow your emotions to control, you will become a slave to the person. It’s just like money, most people are slaves to money because they allow money to control them instead of controlling money.
As a man, when you allow anger to take a hold of you, it will cloud your sense of reasoning, and when that happens, one will understand that actions have consequences. In the same way, some ladies are loyal and slave to their feelings. They allow temporary pain to have permanent stain and pain to their life. If only they had applied a little bit of caution and discernment, they would have gotten a different result.
When it comes to managing your emotions, what you focus on, grows. It’s advisable to choose peace over chaos. The calmer you are, the stronger you become. When you feel stress, anger and frustration, your mind will amplify it, but when you focus on solutions, you develop inner strength.
Do you know that in managing your emotions, you can feel angry and act calm. This is the highest of an emotional intelligence a balanced leader can exhibit.
It is instructive to note that we don’t belong to our feelings. Our feelings belong to us. We control how we want to feel, but most times as humans we don’t know the power we have. The feeling of sadness and joy is entirely up to us. We allow circumstances to dictate how we feel, what we fail to understand is that circumstances don’t say who we are, they reveal who we are. For instance, one might have little or no cash, imagine receiving a huge credit alert, it will change one’s attitude. That’s how we allow our emotions to control us.
Let’s switch the scenario to a case where a man has no cash to solve his problems, and some tries to offer him cash through fraudulent means, if he rejects the money, that tells you he’s in charge of his emotions and feelings.
Let’s see another situation where a man trying to talk to a lady, the man might have the resources and appurtenance that comes with wooing a lady, and the lady refuses on the ground that he does not appeal to her. Ordinarily, most ladies will give him to the man’s requests, but for this lady, there are qualities that appeal to her more. That means she manages she’s not a slave to her feelings and emotions.
In conclusion, when you wake up every day, you have the right to tell yourself how you feel or let your feelings control you. You can either feel depressed or speak to the depression and order it to transform into an expression of joy. Trust me when you, it will obey you. Don’t be mastered by your emotions. Instead, master them, and you will matter in life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Minister of Police Affairs, Ibrahim Gaidam, has expressed deep satisfaction with the conduct of the ongoing recruitment exercises for its orderly and transparent nature across the country.
He made the commendation, according to a statement made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP), while receiving feedback from filed officers across the country and described the process as not just a routine exercise, but a critical step toward rebuilding public trust and enhancing the operational capacity of the Nigeria Police Force.
The Minister urged all participants to remain law-abiding, disciplined, and patient throughout the screening process. He emphasized that integrity and respect for due process are as important as physical and academic qualifications, noting that the future of policing in Nigeria depends largely on the character and commitment of those who wear the uniform.
“This is more than recruitment; it is a call to national service,” he stated. “Nigeria needs men and women of honor, individuals who understand that security is the foundation upon which development and prosperity are built.” Gaidam stressed.
The Minister also extended heartfelt appreciation to the administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu GCFR for its bold and strategic approval of the recruitment of 50,000 police personnel.
He stressed that the unprecedented move demonstrates a clear resolve to address longstanding gaps in manpower while repositioning the Police Force to meet modern security challenges, just as he noted that beyond numbers, the current administration is focused on meaningful reform—transforming policing into a more professional, accountable, and citizen-centered institution.
Gaidam stated that from improved training frameworks to enhanced welfare and operational support, the reform agenda signals a new era for law enforcement in Nigeria.
The Minister noted that the ongoing recruitment exercise, therefore, stands as a symbol of renewed hope—a bridge between the present challenges and a future where communities feel safer, justice is more accessible, and the rule of law is upheld without compromise.
As the screening continues across the nation, the Minister called on all stakeholders—traditional leaders, community members, and institutions, to support the process and encourage eligible youths to participate with sincerity and patriotism.
“Nigeria’s path to a safer, more secure future is being steadily strengthened through deliberate reforms and renewed commitment to nation-building noting that at the heart of this progress is the ongoing nationwide police recruitment screening exercise, an initiative that reflects both hope and responsibility for thousands of young Nigerians,” the Minister concluded.
Presidential spokesperson, Mr. Bayo Onanuga, has launched a scathing attack on Rauf Aregbesola following the latter’s criticism of President Bola Tinubu’s administration.
The exchange comes hours after Aregbesola, while speaking at the convention of the African Democratic Congress (ADC) on Tuesday, described the Tinubu administration as a government of “scammers”, urging Nigerians to block it from retaining power after the 2027 general elections.
“If allowed, this regime will continue to chant renewed hope till eternity. We have a duty to stop these scammers from retaining power,” Aregbesola said.
In a swift response, Onanuga dismissed the remarks and accused the former Governor of Osun State of hypocrisy and poor performance during his time in office.
“My attention has been drawn to Rauf Aregbesola’s attack on the Tinubu administration at today’s illegal elective convention of the ADC — a party of desperados and power mongers who, to date, have not articulated any credible plan for Nigeria,” he said.
Onanuga further criticised Aregbesola for failing to reflect on his own record before attacking his “former boss and benefactor.”
“Unfortunately, Aregbesola did not undertake any honest self-reflection on his own record in public office — as governor or as Minister of Interior,” he stated.
He alleged that Aregbesola’s tenure as governor of Osun State was marked by hardship and poor economic management.
“His eight years as governor of Osun State were characterised by unmitigated hardship for the people. Under his half-baked socialist policies, civil servants went unpaid for months, and those who were paid received only a fraction of their salaries,” Onanuga said.
“It is to Aregbesola’s infamy that Osun became known as a State receiving negative federal allocation and paying just 20 to 30 per cent of normal salaries. It was worse for pensioners in Aregbesola’s Osun State. Many pensioners who relied on their meagre monthly payments died because they were not paid at all.”
Turning to Aregbesola’s tenure as Minister of Interior under former President Muhammadu Buhari, Onanuga said it recorded major security lapses.
“As Minister of Interior under President Muhammadu Buhari, his tenure witnessed the highest number of jailbreaks in Nigeria’s history — including the infamous Kuje Prison escape in Abuja,” he said.
“During his four years, obtaining a Nigerian passport became a nightmarish process, and there were 15 major attacks on correctional facilities in Jos, Abolongo, Imo, Kabba, and Okitipupa, resulting in over 4,000 inmates escaping to join criminal elements.”
Onanuga added, “For someone who failed so woefully to secure our correctional centres and uphold his duties between 2019 and 2023, it is ironic that Aregbesola now seeks to lecture others on insecurity.”
He further accused Aregbesola and other ADC leaders of lacking credible policy alternatives stating, “The real scammers are the politicians inside the SPV called ADC.”
Defending the current administration, Onanuga said the government had acknowledged challenges arising from reforms but was implementing measures to mitigate their impact.
“The Tinubu administration has never shied away from acknowledging that policy reforms have brought unintended consequences, impacting the most vulnerable,” he said, adding that efforts such as wage increases, social support programmes, and economic reforms were underway.
He insisted that the administration’s Renewed Hope Agenda was yielding results, including improved economic indicators and increased investor confidence.
“The Renewed Hope Agenda is not a scam,” Onanuga said, maintaining that the government would continue its policies to stabilise the economy and address security challenges.
Senator representing Borno South Senatorial District, Ali Ndume, has argued that Nigeria’s lingering insecurity could be decisively tackled within six months if the Federal government demonstrates sufficient commitment.
Ndume stated this on Monday during an interview on Channels Television’s Politics Today programme, where he expressed concern over the recent escalation of violence, particularly in the North-East.
The lawmaker stressed that beyond complaints, what is required is decisive action and political will.
“It is not about complaining. It is not about asking somebody like me as a senator to say why these things. I always believe that if the President and the Federal Government of Nigeria are serious about this, we can end this thing (insecurity) in six months.
“All we need is to train our soldiers, equip them, arm them very well, and then motivate them,” Ndume said.
The senator lamented the continued loss of military personnel, including senior officers, noting that such incidents highlight deeper operational challenges.
“After killing their commanders, they now come back to kill our commanders and they are still taking about five, six, or even seven. Even today, around Northern Borno, we lost a colonel, I understand, with some soldiers. This should not continue. This is now the problem,” he said.
Ndume also attributed the worsening security situation to inconsistent and incomplete implementation of security strategies.
“The escalating security situation has really been enhanced by the challenge and the threat, and the actions that have been taken that have never been completely done. We have to be very serious about this matter; we have to walk the talk.”
Speaking on the issue of foreign support, the lawmaker emphasised the need for intelligence, technology, and specialised expertise rather than relying on external forces.
“What we need is intelligence. What we need is air support. We also need the expertise of those that are specialists. We even have some that were trained outside, special forces. We have capable hands already on the ground; all they need is equipment, ammunition, and motivation.
“We do not have enough drones. Look at what Burkina Faso is doing, it is technology. We can use technology to finish or minimise these things within the shortest possible time. If you deploy drones and have trained people to operate them, with proper command centres, we can achieve results,” he said.
The Borno South senator further noted that Borno State would have suffered greater devastation without the efforts of Governor Babagana Zulum and commended his interventions in stabilising parts of the State.
Ndume’s comments come amid renewed security concerns in the North-East and across Nigeria.
A recent airstrike at Jilli Market along the Yobe–Borno border on Saturday has come under scrutiny over reported civilian casualties.
The Nigerian Air Force said the strike targeted suspected Boko Haram insurgents and that it is investigating reported civilian casualties.
While casualty figures remain unclear, several deaths and injuries were reported, with victims receiving treatment in nearby facilities.
The incident also followed a deadly attack on Thursday on a military formation in Benisheikh, where troops repelled insurgents but suffered casualties.
Security challenges, including banditry, kidnappings, and communal clashes, persist nationwide.
Meanwhile, President Bola Tinubu, during a recent visit to Bayelsa State, reaffirmed his administration’s commitment to strengthening Nigeria’s security architecture.
Earlier, the United States Department of State had issued travel advisories and begun reducing its staff presence in Abuja. Federal government, however, described it as a routine precaution and not a reflection the country’s security situation.
