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Food for Living: Managing Emotions with Meditations and Reflections
By Henry Ukazu
Dear destiny Friends,
The constant truth remains that every living being feels things differently, and at the same time, reacts differently to situations.
Much as everyone faces challenges in the journey of time, the individual reaction to each of the challenges ultimately determines the difference. Whether it is failure in relationship, business, health, personal or even professional life, it’s important to note that no one is alone; everyone has a fair share of the challenges of life, but the ultimate difference is how one manages the situation. These challenges can lead to high profile emotions.
In the course of this analysis, however, two powerful forces in the management of emotions or the vicissitudes of life, which are meditation and reflection, will be highlighted.
Emotions are powerful because they can push you to greatness and can also make you make the greatest loss of your life. Let’s think about it for a minute, how many times have people said something they later regretted? How many emotions have been broken because of uncontrolled emotions? How many opportunities have been lost because someone reacted impulsively instead of thinking things through? It should be noted, if you cannot control your emotions, they will control you and when they control you, they will make you weak and easily manipulated.
As we experience life in different dimensions, waves will come, some will be storms, while some will be current. One of the greatest skills one can have is staying calm in the midst of pressure, stressful situations or in the face of adversity, and this is because one is able to train their mind.
Managing emotions is not as easy as it appears. Imagine loving someone and you get hurt by the person. Trust me, it will surely hit you hard, the only time one might not feel so bad is when they don’t really like the person. Managing emotions is like managing human relationships. It’s a skill that needs to be cultivated. The ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. Before you can manage people, one should be able to manage themself. This is because human beings are the most difficult set of people to manage.
One of the most treasured skills any human being can have is building sustainable relationships. Building a solid relationship is like building a house on a solid foundation. One don’t need to be afraid if the house will collapse because the foundation is very strong. In the same way, when friendship has been truly tested and loyalty established, one don’t need to fear if betrayal will set in and if it does, one has to endeavor to manage it well because life happens sometimes.
Training your mind to stay in every situation is like training the muscle, at first it’s difficult because you feel like reacting immediately, but the ability to stay calm can be a game change which will pay off much more. Imagine being at the gym, you won’t get muscle but overtime you will get muscle when you constantly lift weight. That’s how one trains the mind, overtime, one will grow in maturity.
This process requires patience and consistency. Some days you will succeed, some days, you will fall back to old habits. The key is to keep going. Every time you stay calm instead of reacting, you strengthen your mental discipline, every time you take a deep breath without speaking, you build emotional intelligence, everytime you let go of something that is not worth your peace, you take back your emotional power.
Make a firm commitment to train your mind, the next time you feel frustrated. If people provoke you to breathe, if life throws a challenge at you, step back before reacting. A person who has mastered his emotions has mastered life.
How to manage your emotion
Awareness: Aware is a great way to manage emotions. There are several ways to observe how you feel when somebody says something negative to you. You respond with intelligence. Self and social awareness is a critical tool for emotional intelligence.
Detach from need to always react
When an irrational act comes across your way, you don’t have to respond immediately. Most times we are quick to respond. Maturity teaches one not to respond to everything, learn to be selective on what you react to, and you do this by selecting your battles. This act helps to conserve your power. Sometimes, we allow small disagreements to affect our mindset. Moral: know what worth your time.
It’s instructive to note that you can’t control everything, but you can control yourself. Life happens, so don’t try to control what is out of your hands, that’s basically a waste of energy. The words you tell yourself shape your emotions and your emotions shape your actions. When you take control of your thoughts and actions, you take control of your life.
To manage emotions, we have to stop listening to our emotions and instead make our feelings listen to us because our emotions can be a trap for us. Whether as a man or lady, when you allow your emotions to control, you will become a slave to the person. It’s just like money, most people are slaves to money because they allow money to control them instead of controlling money.
As a man, when you allow anger to take a hold of you, it will cloud your sense of reasoning, and when that happens, one will understand that actions have consequences. In the same way, some ladies are loyal and slave to their feelings. They allow temporary pain to have permanent stain and pain to their life. If only they had applied a little bit of caution and discernment, they would have gotten a different result.
When it comes to managing your emotions, what you focus on, grows. It’s advisable to choose peace over chaos. The calmer you are, the stronger you become. When you feel stress, anger and frustration, your mind will amplify it, but when you focus on solutions, you develop inner strength.
Do you know that in managing your emotions, you can feel angry and act calm. This is the highest of an emotional intelligence a balanced leader can exhibit.
It is instructive to note that we don’t belong to our feelings. Our feelings belong to us. We control how we want to feel, but most times as humans we don’t know the power we have. The feeling of sadness and joy is entirely up to us. We allow circumstances to dictate how we feel, what we fail to understand is that circumstances don’t say who we are, they reveal who we are. For instance, one might have little or no cash, imagine receiving a huge credit alert, it will change one’s attitude. That’s how we allow our emotions to control us.
Let’s switch the scenario to a case where a man has no cash to solve his problems, and some tries to offer him cash through fraudulent means, if he rejects the money, that tells you he’s in charge of his emotions and feelings.
Let’s see another situation where a man trying to talk to a lady, the man might have the resources and appurtenance that comes with wooing a lady, and the lady refuses on the ground that he does not appeal to her. Ordinarily, most ladies will give him to the man’s requests, but for this lady, there are qualities that appeal to her more. That means she manages she’s not a slave to her feelings and emotions.
In conclusion, when you wake up every day, you have the right to tell yourself how you feel or let your feelings control you. You can either feel depressed or speak to the depression and order it to transform into an expression of joy. Trust me when you, it will obey you. Don’t be mastered by your emotions. Instead, master them, and you will matter in life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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‘He Died a Natural Death’ – Katsina Govt Announces Death of Gen Rabe Abubakar in Kidnappers’ Captivity
A Retired Major-General and former Director of Defence Information, Rabe Abubakar, is dead.
According to the Katsina state government, Abubakar died in bandits’ captivity.
The retired major-general and his wife were abducted in May while travelling through Katsina.
On June 6, a video showing Abubakar and his wife appealing to the Katsina government for the release of detained bandits and livestock surfaced online.
A statement on Saturday by Nasiru Mu’azu, commissioner for internal security and home affairs, said Abubakar died from complications of diabetes and hypertension.
“It is with profound sadness that we confirm the General’s death while in bandits’ captivity,” the statement reads.
“Despite the relentless and concerted efforts of the State Government and various Security Agencies to secure his safe release, the situation ended in this tragedy.
“The deceased Retired General died a natural death from complications of diabetes and hypertension.
“His abduction and subsequent death are not only a loss to his family and Katsina State but a monumental loss to the entire country.
“His Excellency, the Executive Governor of Katsina State Malam Dikko Umaru Radda, PhD, CON, extends his deepest condolences to the family of the late General and the country at-large.
“The Governor has described this incident as a “dark moment” and a reminder of the urgent need for a collective and intensified front against the criminal elements threatening the peace of our communities.”
The Katsina government added that it remains committed to working with the federal government and security forces to ensure that those responsible for the heinous act are brought to justice.
“We assure the citizens of Katsina State that our resolve to eliminate banditry and ensure the safety of all residents remains unshaken,” the statement added.
“Our thoughts and prayers are with the bereaved family during this difficult time. May the soul of the departed Retired Major General Rabe Abdulakdir rest in eternal peace.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The power in a name, or inspiration and influence they come with, when properly triggered and applied, cannot be overestimated. Influence and name are powerful, and run pari passu. This is because in the journey of life, there are certain heights one can’t attain even with their resources. And that’s where ‘names’ and influence come in.
One might have all the grades, skills, and knowledge, but getting an opportunity might be difficult. Imagine having a good grade in school, but can’t find a commensurate job. As a matter of fact, someone with less qualification and experience might get the job simply because a man of influence endorsed their candidacy. That’s why the saying; ‘a good name is better than riches’ is tantamount to a man with access to power is more influential than a man with knowledge but no access.
For one to succeed in our contemporary society, they need a helper who could either be a mentor, benefactor, an inspiration, or someone with influence, or all in one. All these refer to one thing – name. Names are powerful and open doors. A name can serve as an inspiration which can open doors of opportunity for anyone. I remember the day one of my mentors said to me that for his name to be on my resumè, I must earn it. That’s how powerful names can be.
To further buttress how powerful a name can be, let’s consider the following – In 2018, as a budding author, I reached out to one of my mentors, Chief Dele Momodu to give me a column to write in his online newspaper which is considered one of the biggest, if not the biggest online newspaper in Nigeria. He graciously agreed, advising me to be consistent.
Guess what, since that date, I haven’t missed a week. One may be wondering how I have been consistent,; well the answer is not far fetched, I couldn’t imagine failing Chief Dele Momodu. I couldn’t imagine producing articles that are below standard. In all sincerity, assuming someone else without a big name gave me the opportunity, maybe, I wouldn’t have taken it very seriously like I did for Chief Dele Momodu. This goes to tell you names are powerful.
Can you imagine working for the President of the United States of America or Elon Musk? One will almost be perfect. The same energy and detailed attention one pays to President Trump or Elon Musk will be different if given an opportunity to work for an elected council man or a businessman. This is because one would not like to risk a lifetime opportunity to serve with a man of influence.
The importance of inspiration in the life of a progressive man cannot be overemphasized. Everyone needs inspiration. Inspiration can come from various angles. It can be from a benefactor, mentor, teacher, parent, friend, a Minister of the gospel, or even one’s child.
Let me share a personal experience I had with another of my mentors – Dr. Joe Abah. In 2025, he organized #fitseptember physical exercise where he advised his followers to do a 30 push for the month of September. Again, in January, he organized #fitjanuary and I actively participated in it, and since then I haven’t missed one single day without exercising for at least ten minutes. Why is this analysis important? The name Dr. Joe Abah is a household name in Nigeria social-political space. Assuming it was a regular person who made the announcement on X, the comment wouldn’t have attracted the kind of attention that made it go viral.
Furthermore, it is worthy of note that there are five kinds of authority when it comes to principle of power in a name. They are; Revealed knowledge, empirical knowledge, rational knowledge, intuitive knowledge and authoritative knowledge. The focus here is on authoritative knowledge.
One may be wondering what authoritative knowledge is. This is a kind of knowledge reserved for those who have expertise on a particular issue or subject matter expert. When such a person speaks, their words are like law.
Let’s talk about men of influence. Men of influence are priceless. According to Apostle Joshua Selman, there are four kinds of destiny helpers: Divine Connectors, Men of Influence, Gifted People, and Burden Bearers. For the sake of this article, I will focus on men of influence. These are gatekeepers, mentors, or established experts with high credibility. Their endorsement or advocacy can override limitations, grant you access to closed doors, and elevate your trajectory.
In summary, honor men, but fear God because men are vessels God uses to bless people and humanity.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Senate, on Thursday, directed the Department of State Services (DSS), the Nigeria Police Force and other security agencies to intensify efforts to track, identify and arrest bandits and terrorists, who openly flaunt their activities and wealth on social media platforms.
The upper chamber said the growing trend of criminal groups operating openly online and displaying proceeds of crime without fear of arrest poses a serious threat to national security and undermines public confidence in the authority of the State.
The resolution followed a debate on a motion sponsored by Senator Sunday Karimi (Kogi West) on the worsening security situation in Kogi West Senatorial District and other parts of the country.
Contributing to the debate, Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan (Kogi Central) expressed concern over what she described as the increasing boldness of bandits and terrorists, alleging that some criminal groups now use social media platforms to showcase their operations and distribute large sums of money.
According to her, suspected bandits recently conducted a giveaway on TikTok, allegedly distributing more than N100 million within 30 minutes through their social media accounts.
She argued that such activities provide security agencies with sufficient digital footprints and intelligence leads to identify and apprehend the perpetrators.
“Bandits and terrorists who carry out these activities live on their social media handles,” Akpoti-Uduaghan said.
“Two days ago on TikTok, bandits conducted a giveaway, distributing over N100 million within the space of 30 minutes through their social media handles.
“I wonder why the Cybercrime Unit and the Police Force generally cannot track these activities and apprehend them since they are on social media.”
Her proposal that the Nigerian Police Force National Cybercrime Centre and other relevant agencies should intensify surveillance of social media platforms and prosecute criminals who openly advertise their activities online received overwhelming support from lawmakers and was seconded by Senator Osita Ngwu (Enugu West).
Responding, Senate President Godswill Akpabio condemned the public display of criminal exploits and huge sums of money on social media, describing it as a direct challenge to the authority of government and security institutions.
“The DSS should be able to track their movements and arrest them because this is a show of impunity, as if there is no law at all,” Akpabio said.
He noted that the online display of cash and criminal activities was designed to ridicule government efforts and create the impression that security agencies were powerless.
“I do not see why we should not have control over the social media space. That idea of showing themselves, showing the cash collected and displaying it is a way of challenging government,” he added.
Akpabio urged heads of security agencies to treat the issue as a major national security concern and take immediate action against those involved.
He further warned that the Senate would demand explanations from relevant authorities whenever individuals who openly reveal their identities and activities online are not apprehended.
The debate arose from Senator Karimi’s motion drawing attention to the escalating wave of terrorist attacks, kidnappings and killings across communities in Kogi West Senatorial District.
Karimi lamented that armed groups had turned several communities into theatres of violence, forcing residents to flee their homes while disrupting economic, social and educational activities.
He cited the recent attack on Iluke-Bunu in Kabba/Bunu Local Government Area, where gunmen reportedly invaded a secondary school and attempted to abduct students writing the Senior Secondary School Certificate Examination.
According to him, the attack claimed the lives of the school’s vice principal, a teacher and another resident.
The senator also recounted a series of kidnappings and killings across Kabba/Bunu, Ijumu, Yagba West, Lokoja and Kogi local government areas, warning that insecurity in the district was worsening and required urgent intervention.
Following deliberations, the Senate adopted a series of resolutions aimed at tackling the deteriorating security situation across the country.
The lawmakers called on President Bola Tinubu, the Inspector-General of Police and the National Assembly to urgently work towards establishing an appropriate legal framework for the creation of state police.
The Senate also urged the Federal government and the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to strengthen the implementation of cashless transaction policies as part of efforts to curb ransom payments and other criminal financial activities.
It further called on the Federal Ministry of Interior and the Nigerian Immigration Service to tighten border security and surveillance to stem the influx of arms and the movement of terrorists and other criminal elements into the country.
The upper chamber equally advised State governments against negotiating or entering peace agreements with terrorists and armed bandits, maintaining that such arrangements have often failed to produce lasting solutions and, in some cases, emboldened criminal groups.
