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Food for Living: Navigating Through Life’s Stress
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Each of us experiences stress in one form or another. Stress comes in different stages. You can experience financial stress, academic stress, relationship/marriage stress, personal/emotional stress. You may be wondering what the most stressful part of life is. Well, depending on situational variables; mental, financial or relationship stress come tops. This is because when you have bills to take care of or provide for your family and the resources are not available, it can have a damaging effect on your mental and psychological mindset, which if not if not properly handled, can drain you. However, some schools of thought believe that marriage stress has the most damaging effect on a human being, especially when married to the wrong person.
As human beings, stress is inevitable in our life. Stress can be compared as a woman, who a minute few has described as a ‘necessary evil’ that can’t be avoided. The question we must continually deal with on a daily basis is how can we deal with stress in life?
It is often said that ‘whatsoever cannot kill you will make you stronger’, so stress does makes one strong, who is smart enough to navigate through it. Some stress syndrome result from too many obligations which were not properly managed, and they end up having adverse effects on the body. It should be noted that nobody is immune to stress. When people say it’s not greener out there, they really know what they mean. Sometimes, we are quick to assume other people are living their best life while you are living your worst life. But, there may be more that meet the eye.
However, we should be concerned with how to overcome stress. In my calculated opinion, the best way to avoid stress is to avoid worrying over circumstances or situations that cannot be changed. As human beings, we always have the fear of the unknown which can come in several forms. When you come to the sublime realization that certain things and situations are beyond your control, you’ll realize that you are just worrying yourself unnecessarily.
Many people manage stress in different ways, while some people prefer seeing a therapist, others might prefer different relaxation steps like taking a walk in the garden, reading, sleeping, dancing, swimming, exercising, etc. You just need to know what works for you. Personally, whenever I am stressed, I listen to music or sleep to keep my sanity together.
Another way to overcome the adversity of stress of life is by celebrating little wins and gratitude. Most times, we are quick to condemn ourselves for the mistakes we have made. Sometimes, we are unnecessarily hard on ourselves, while sometimes we are quick to point fingers at circumstances, human beings and institutions as being the cause of our stress. The moment we fail to take ownership of our challenges and accept the fact that life happens to everyone, we’ll continue to experience stress.
The interesting thing about life challenges is that each one of us experience life and stress differently. For instance, the attitude and threshold of pain Mr. A or Ms. A will experience or feel from pain, divorce, or disappointments, will be different from that of Mr. B. or Miss B. This is because we all experience and react to stress, pain, and disappointments differently.
In conclusion, regardless of whatever your situation might be, just be grateful to your creator that you are still alive, and be happy because tomorrow is looking good. You can do this by looking at the street and see what different people are going through. Some don’t have legs, hands, eyes, food, etc. Some don’t even have family, children, spouse, job, some are even wishing they are in your shoes or condition. You can also turn on the television and see what others are experiencing globally. You might be surprised to know some are experiencing wars and earthquakes. The list is literally endless. So, this is me trying to encourage you to know that everyone is going through a different kind of secret frustration. However, if you feel you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me via the contact below.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Impeached Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Mudashiru Obasa, has described the corruption allegations against him as “fictitious and unsubstantiated”.
Speaking during a welcome rally at his residence in GRA, Ikeja on Saturday, Obasa maintained that he was not afraid of being impeached but emphasised that due process was not followed.
The former Speaker alleged that his removal was orchestrated while he was away, and accused the state commissioner of police of aiding the process.
He claimed security agents, led by the police commissioner, invaded the assembly complex and his homes in Agege and Ikeja, locking his family indoors with over 200 officers present.
Obasa dismissed allegations of misappropriation.
He mocked claims that a gate construction had cost N16 billion, saying, “Is it the wall of Jericho?”
He said: “I am not afraid of being removed, after all, it is not my father’s chieftaincy title. I am representing my people and they have returned me six times. If you want to do anything, do it well.
“They did the removal all because I was out of the country. Lagos is a special place, we cannot denigrate the state.
The former Speaker cited the case of the former speaker, Rt. Hon Jokotola Pelumi.
He said when Pelumi was removed, he was in the assembly and “we did not invite policemen.
“When my sister, former deputy speaker of the House, Hon. Adefunmilayo Tejuosho was removed, we did not invite the police.”
Obasa said an innocent person should not be discredited, and there must be proof of allegations showing exactly what he has done.
“The Lagos State House of Assembly is above common standard of excellence.
“I appreciate the members of the governance advisory council and Governor Babajide Olusola Aanwo-Olu of the state. He is my brother and he always calls me his younger brother.”
Obasa was impeached on January 13 by more than two-thirds of the 40-member legislative house over alleged misconduct and sundry offences.
His Deputy, Mojisola Meranda, was immediately elected the new speaker, becoming the first female to take charge of the legislative body in the State.
The Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) has confirmed that 38 persons, including seven crew members, were injured when a United Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Lagos on Friday morning.
The Boeing 787-8 flight with 245 passengers was en route to Washington Dulles International Airport (IAD), in the United States, from the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos, when it developed problems midair and was forced to return to the airport.
There were also 11 crew members – eight attendants and three pilots – on the plane.
The FAAN Director of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection, Obiageli Orah, who confirmed the incident through a statement, said all passengers and crew disembarked safely.
She, however, said four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries.
According to her, 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
The statement read: “The United Airlines Boeing 787-800 departed Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), Ikeja, at 11:59pm on Thursday, but made air return and landed safely at 3.22am on Friday.
“On board were 245 adults and 11 crew members.
“The team of Aerodrome Rescue and Fire Fighting Services, Aviation Medical, and Aviation Security were already at the gate when the aeroplane parked for deboarding at D31 without incident, and the door was opened at 3:37am.
“While all passengers and crew disembarked safely, four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries, and an additional 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
“The rescue team responded swiftly and effectively, having been on alert and standby.
“Aviation medical ambulances transported the injured passengers, some to the MMA Clinic and others to the headquarters clinic.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
