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Food for Living: Overcoming Anxiety, Fear, Stress and Anger
Dear Destiny Friends,
As human beings, we are confronted with fear, stress, anxiety and anger in the course of our daily activities. These, if not properly handled and managed, can destroy any organization or a productive being.
Arguably, one of the most dreaded emotions human beings face is stress. Stress can be a silent killer. When the mind and body is stressed, it has a way of affecting productivity. Just like anger is one of the fastest ways of destroying someone, fear is regarded as the greatest force limiting productivity.
Anxiety is another deadly type of fear because it deals more with worry, and the future, rather than the present. Anyone suffering from anxiety is likely to have an increased heartbeat, shortness of breath, difficulty in sleeping, and will always forget and lack focus.
The origin of negative feelings is traced to failed expectations from people, and situations which sometimes do not meet our expectations. When this situation occurs, we tend to have anxiety, anger, stress or even fear of the future.
As a human capacity coach, I constantly come across youths, adults, and parents who are constantly dealing with diverse kinds of pains, stress, anger, and anxiety in their lives. Any productive mind who wants to grow will have to eschew fear, anxiety, anger, and stress. This might be hard, but trust me, it is doable if you are able to train your mind and work with the right people. However, if you have fallen short of any, it’s okay to have regrets because we are all humans.
Anxiety normally creeps in due to expectations of the future, but it can be managed by a combination of medication and cognitive psychotherapy. However, neither lasts forever. A therapist can be used to manage these symptoms.
Happiness is the resultant feeling we have when we are at peace with ourselves and humanity. However, constant negative emotions can also get in the way of happiness, and it has the capacity to compound our level of stress and worry and ultimately damage our health. While there is no magic wand to change negative emotions to positive ones, there are ways to lessen the intensity of the emotion and shorten its duration. With practice, you can learn to disrupt and tame negative emotions.
What Caused This Feeling?
The first step in healing is asking the wh questions? Why did it happen? What caused it? When you understand the cause of a problem, you will be better poised to solve it. You will better understand and interpret memories, judgments, beliefs, values, expectations, and observations. When you understand these thoughts, the next big task is asking yourself if these thoughts will help you to solve any of your problems. You can ask yourself, does this feeling warrant me to be angry or fearful? Who can help me overcome this challenge/problem? How can I fix the problem or focus on the present as opposed to what I can’t change?
Physical exercise
Anxiety and anger can be reduced when you exercise. Exercise has a way of reducing worries, especially when you have music in the background. On a personal note, whenever I am exercising, I usually have music in the background because it has a way of making me feel present. The same is applicable whenever I’m stressed, I usually play music or sleep.
Take a Walk
Whenever you feel stressed, depressed, pained, or uncomfortable with the way life is treating you, try taking a walk and enjoy the beauty of life. You can decide to go to the beach, walk around the garden, or even take a random walk across the town. It’s normal to always see our deficiencies which blinds us to the beauty of life. When you take a walk, you see people of all kinds, some will be begging on the streets, some might be walking, others might be in a bus. If you can think out of the box, you will discover, you are far better than some of them with what you have.
You can also decide to visualize a happy place. For instance, imagine being in a resort, imagine how life will be when you overcome the stress, pain, anger, or even the tension with the thoughts. This feeling can make it more humane to control your human reaction.
Don’t Beat Yourself
One of the worst things that can happen to you as a human being is trying to be hard on yourself. As a human being, you can’t hide from your shadows. Your shadow is like your thoughts. You can’t hide from your thoughts. It’s like closing your eyes to the sky. You can reduce looking at the sky by using a goggle. So whenever you have negative emotions, acknowledge them instead of trying to shut them down, and see how you can work on them.
Face Your Fear
The fastest way to kill your fear is by facing them. If you don’t confront your fears, it has a way of robbing you and reminding you of how doomed you are. Facing your fears simply means doing what you dreads. For instance, the best way to become a good writer is by writing as opposed to procrastinating. When you start to write, you will kill the spirit of fear associated with writing. You will be happy you took the bold step. When I began writing many years ago, it felt like writing was stressful, but over time, I became addicted to writing and it’s now fun to me.
Another great way of dealing with fear is by imagining the worst that will happen if you face your fear. Do you know that whether you face your fears or not, the worst will still happen? How about you face it, you never can tell if you will overcome it. You can overcome fear by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness allows you to become more aware of your fear because it creates awareness that helps you overcome your fear and anxiety.
Share Your Pain
Many people don’t understand the importance of sharing. Do you know that problem shared is a problem solved? When you have pain or feel stressed, please endeavor to speak out. I understand, each one of us is dealing with one pain, but then, there’s no harm in sharing. Keeping it to yourself might not solve the problem. The only concern you should have is the person you will share the pain with. Even if it means sharing it with a professional or trusted person, please do. You can talk to a family member, friend, a trusted clergyman, your doctor or a therapist. Depression is real, anger is real, pain is real, but they can be managed.
Rejoice/Reward Yourself
Celebrating yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. Take time to give yourself a little treat. Most times we are always looking for people to celebrate us. If nobody gives you a platform, create one for yourself. Try and reward yourself with any little success you have recorded. It has a way of boosting your ego and human capacity nature.
Eliminate Triggers
Figure out what are the biggest cause of negative emotions in your life. Is it your job, your schoolwork, your colleague? If you’re able to identify what they are, see if you are able to eliminate them from your life, or at least reduce them.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Lagos Zonal Directorate 1 of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) has arraigned social media personality and self-acclaimed relationship adviser, Okoro Blessing Nkiruka, before the Federal High Court in Lagos over an alleged N36 million fraud.
Blessing CEO was arraigned on Friday before Justice D.I. Dipeolu on a two-count charge bordering on obtaining money by false pretence and alleged theft involving N36 million
According to the EFCC, the defendant allegedly obtained the money from one Mrs. Ifeyinwa Nonye Okoye under the pretext of securing a six-bedroom duplex in Lekki, Lagos — a claim prosecutors said she knew to be false.
During proceedings, defence counsel P.I. Nwafor informed the court that the defendant had refunded N24 million to the complainant and requested a short adjournment to allow discussions over the outstanding balance.
“We have an application to make. The defendant approached the nominal complainant and refunded N24 million out of the N36 million.
“We are asking for a short adjournment to resolve the outstanding balance. The nominal complainant agreed that if the balance is paid, they can prevail on the EFCC to drop the case,” the lawyer said.
However, prosecution counsel S.I. Suleiman opposed the request, insisting that the commission was not involved in any private settlement arrangement.
“The complainant here is the Federal Government of Nigeria, and we are here for the arraignment. We urge that the defendant take her plea, as that is the business of the day,” he argued.
Ruling on the matter, Justice Dipeolu held that settlement talks could continue independently but would not stop the arraignment process.
“The defence and the nominal complainant can have discussions even during the pendency of the charge. It does not affect the proceedings before the court. The defendant will take her plea,” the judge ruled.
One of the charges alleged that between July 14 and 17, 2024, Blessing CEO fraudulently obtained N36 million from the complainant over a purported property lease in Lekki.
Another count accused her of unlawfully converting the money to personal use, contrary to provisions of the Criminal Code Act.
She pleaded not guilty to the charges.
Following her plea, the prosecution asked the court to commence trial and remand her in a correctional facility, while the defence requested that she remain in EFCC custody pending bail arrangements.
Justice Dipeolu subsequently ordered that the defendant be remanded in EFCC custody and adjourned the matter to June 5, 2026, for commencement of trial.
Femi Gbajabiamila, Chief of Staff to President Bola Tinubu, has narrated how his principal almost sacked him because of Lagos State House of Assembly member, Desmond Elliot.
He said he almost lost his job during the Lagos Speaker Mudashiru Obasa impeachment saga.
Recall that lawmakers of the Lagos State House of Assembly had said that Obasa was impeached to save the integrity and sanctity of the House of Assembly and Lagos State.
The lawmakers, while jointly addressing journalists at the Assembly Complex, said: “It’s just a change of baton. It is only death that is constant, so change is inevitable.”
However, with President Tinubu against the impeachment, the Speaker was restored and peace returned to the Assembly.
Addressing members of the All Progressives Congress on Thursday, Gbajabiamila said, “I almost lost my job as Chief of Staff last year because of Desmond Elliot. Mr President called me to his house in Abuja during the Lagos Speaker Obasa saga.
“He said, ‘I hear this Desmond is your boy, the one we gave you,’ and I said, ‘Yes, sir. He is one of the people causing problems in the Lagos House of Assembly.’
“Immediately, I told the president that Desmond wasn’t part of them, but the president replied and said that, from the intelligence he received, Desmond was part of them.
“After that meeting, I called Desmond and told him what the president said, and asked him to leave the group if he was part of them. Three days later, the DSS DG called me and said there was a problem.
“He said your name is being mentioned, that you’re the one behind the impeachment saga and that you’re supporting Desmond.
“I spoke to the DSS DG and told him I had spoken to Desmond and he denied being part of the group. I then asked Desmond to make a public statement denying his involvement in the impeachment saga, but till today, he hasn’t done it.”
By Eric Elezuo
The West African Examination Council (WAEC) has announced the kickoff of the 2026 West African Second-term School Certificate Examination, saying it would be computer-based, and decrying the decline of male participation as against their female counterparts.
The Council made the disclosure on Monday, while addressing the media at its National Office in Yaba, Lagos, on steps so far taken to ensure a hitchfree 2026 Examination.
In his address, the Head of National Office, Mr. Jacob Josiah Dangut, remarked that the 2026 computer-based WASSEC, started on April 21, 2026 with practical test papers, stressing that the nitty gritty parts of the exercise will kick off on Tuesday, May 12, 2026, therefore the reason for the sensitization of the Nigerian public on the exams.
He noted that nearly two million candidates registered to sit for the examinations.
In his words, “A total of 1,959,636 candidates from 24,207 schools enrolled for the examination.
“Of this number, 958,564 candidates (48.92%) are male, while 1,001,072 candidates (51.08%) are female. This reflects an increase in female participation and a decline in male participation compared to last year.”
Dangut called on policy formulations to take the matter serious so as to reinvent the urge for education among the malefolks.
Meanwhile, Dangut informed the public that candidates are being tested in 37 subjects across 97 papers, supervised by about 29,000 senior secondary teachers nominated by state ministries of education.
Dangut said the rise in computer-based entries followed the successful debut of the format in 2025, with more schools and offshore institutions adopting it for its efficiency and alignment with global standards.
The 2026 exercise will run through to June 19th.
