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Food for Living: Overcoming Anxiety, Fear, Stress and Anger

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Dear Destiny Friends,

As human beings, we are confronted with fear, stress, anxiety and anger in the course of our daily activities. These, if not properly handled and managed, can destroy any organization or a productive being.

Arguably, one of the most dreaded emotions human beings face is stress. Stress can be a silent killer. When the mind and body is stressed, it has a way of affecting productivity. Just like anger is one of the fastest ways of destroying someone, fear is regarded as the greatest force limiting productivity.

Anxiety is another deadly type of fear because it deals more with worry, and the future, rather than the present. Anyone suffering from anxiety is likely to have an increased heartbeat, shortness of breath, difficulty in sleeping, and will always forget and lack focus.

The origin of negative feelings is traced to failed expectations from people, and situations which sometimes do not meet our expectations. When this situation occurs, we tend to have anxiety, anger, stress or even fear of the future.

As a human capacity coach, I constantly come across youths, adults, and parents who are constantly dealing with diverse kinds of pains, stress, anger, and anxiety in their lives. Any productive mind who wants to grow will have to eschew fear, anxiety, anger, and stress. This might be hard, but trust me, it is doable if you are able to train your mind and work with the right people. However, if you have fallen short of any, it’s okay to have regrets because we are all humans.

Anxiety normally creeps in due to expectations of the future, but it can be managed by a combination of medication and cognitive psychotherapy. However, neither lasts forever. A therapist can be used to manage these symptoms.

Happiness is the resultant feeling we have when we are at peace with ourselves and humanity. However, constant negative emotions can also get in the way of happiness, and it has the capacity to compound our level of stress and worry and ultimately damage our health. While there is no magic wand to change negative emotions to positive ones, there are ways to lessen the intensity of the emotion and shorten its duration. With practice, you can learn to disrupt and tame negative emotions.

What Caused This Feeling?

The first step in healing is asking the wh questions? Why did it happen? What caused it? When you understand the cause of a problem, you will be better poised to solve it. You will better understand and interpret memories, judgments, beliefs, values, expectations, and observations. When you understand these thoughts, the next big task is asking yourself if these thoughts will help you to solve any of your problems. You can ask yourself, does this feeling warrant me to be angry or fearful? Who can help me overcome this challenge/problem? How can I fix the problem or focus on the present as opposed to what I can’t change?

Physical exercise

Anxiety and anger can be reduced when you exercise. Exercise has a way of reducing worries, especially when you have music in the background. On a personal note, whenever I am exercising, I usually have music in the background because it has a way of making me feel present. The same is applicable whenever I’m stressed, I usually play music or sleep.

Take a Walk

 Whenever you feel stressed, depressed, pained, or uncomfortable with the way life is treating you, try taking a walk and enjoy the beauty of life. You can decide to go to the beach, walk around the garden, or even take a random walk across the town. It’s normal to always see our deficiencies which blinds us to the beauty of life. When you take a walk, you see people of all kinds, some will be begging on the streets, some might be walking, others might be in a bus. If you can think out of the box, you will discover, you are far better than some of them with what you have.

You can also decide to visualize a happy place. For instance, imagine being in a resort, imagine how life will be when you overcome the stress, pain, anger, or even the tension with the thoughts. This feeling can make it more humane to control your human reaction.

Don’t Beat Yourself

One of the worst things that can happen to you as a human being is trying to be hard on yourself. As a human being, you can’t hide from your shadows. Your shadow is like your thoughts. You can’t hide from your thoughts.  It’s like closing your eyes to the sky. You can reduce looking at the sky by using a goggle. So whenever you have negative emotions, acknowledge them instead of trying to shut them down, and see how you can work on them.

Face Your Fear

The fastest way to kill your fear is by facing them. If you don’t confront your fears, it has a way of robbing you and reminding you of how doomed you are. Facing your fears simply means doing what you dreads. For instance, the best way to become a good writer is by writing as opposed to procrastinating. When you start to write, you will kill the spirit of fear associated with writing. You will be happy you took the bold step. When I began writing many years ago, it felt like writing was stressful, but over time, I became addicted to writing and it’s now fun to me.

Another great way of dealing with fear is by imagining the worst that will happen if you face your fear. Do you know that whether you face your fears or not, the worst will still happen? How about you face it, you never can tell if you will overcome it. You can overcome fear by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness allows you to become more aware of your fear because it creates awareness that helps you overcome your fear and anxiety.

Share Your Pain

Many people don’t understand the importance of sharing. Do you know that problem shared is a problem solved? When you have pain or feel stressed, please endeavor to speak out. I understand, each one of us is dealing with one pain, but then, there’s no harm in sharing. Keeping it to yourself might not solve the problem. The only concern you should have is the person you will share the pain with. Even if it means sharing it with a professional or trusted person, please do. You can talk to a family member, friend, a trusted clergyman, your doctor or a therapist. Depression is real, anger is real, pain is real, but they can be managed.

Rejoice/Reward Yourself

Celebrating yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. Take time to give yourself a little treat. Most times we are always looking for people to celebrate us. If nobody gives you a platform, create one for yourself. Try and reward yourself with any little success you have recorded. It has a way of boosting your ego and human capacity nature.

Eliminate Triggers

Figure out what are the biggest cause of negative emotions in your life. Is it your job, your schoolwork, your colleague? If you’re able to identify what they are, see if you are able to eliminate them from your life, or at least reduce them.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a  public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Appeal Court Overrules Judgement Against Zenith Bank, Fines Real Integrated

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After several months of legal tussle between Zenith Bank Plc v Real Integrated & Hospitality Limited and State Universal Basic Education Board (SUBEB) Gombe State, a three-man panel in the Court of Appeal sitting in Lagos led by Justice Muhammed Sirajo in Appeal No:CA/LAG/CV/262/2022 – have unanimously upturned the Lagos State High Court judgment of Justice O. O. Abike-Fadipe over claims that; on March 8, 2022, there was a breach of contract because on October 7, 2011, Zenith Bank refused Real Integrated to withdraw from its Account No. 1012465427. In her judgment, she directed Zenith bank to pay an interest of 15 per cent per annum on the N872,780,522.84 from May 17, 2011, when the advanced payment guarantees expired till judgment and thereafter at the rate of 10 per cent per annum until final liquidation

Through Zenith Bank’s team of counsel led by Prof. Fabian Ajogwu, SAN and Mr Sylva Ogwemoh, SAN, the bank challenged Justice O. O. Abike-Fadipe’s decision of awarding N2,500,000 as the cost of the action in favour of Real Integrated. The legal team via valid argument backed by proofs argued and sought an order setting aside the lower court decision on the ground that it acted in full compliance with its contractual obligations in line with the Advanced Payment Guarantee (APG) contract and that the trial court was wrong. The Court of Appeal, in a unanimous decision on November 23, agreed with the bank’s submission and resolved all the issues raised in its favour. It was gathered that; the 1st Respondent, through its Counsel, E.O Jakpa, argued that the bank breached the contract while SUBEB Gombe State did not contest the Appeal.

Apart from the appellate court setting aside the judgment of Justice Abike-Fadipe, the judge also awarded a cost of N200,000 against Real Integrated & Hospitality Limited and in favour of Zenith Bank. The appeal court further stated that the lower court judgment was upturned on the ground that the trial court was wrong to have presumed that the bank withheld the full account statement of Real Integrated in the light of Exhibit C6 (the comprehensive Statement of Account of Real Integrated), which was tendered by the bank for a limited purpose, adding that there was no need for the lower court to have invoked Section 167 (d) of the Evidence Act, 2011 against the bank.

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Port Harcourt-Based Engineer Wins House in Glo Festival of Joy Promo

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A Port Harcourt-based Mechanical Engineer, Ola Owonifari Joseph, has emerged as the winner of the second house in the ongoing Glo Festival of Joy promo.

The 49-year-old Joseph on Friday received the keys to his new apartment from the Speaker of Rivers State House of Assembly, Rt. Hon. Ikuinyi O. Ibani, supported by Globacom officials.

An overly elated Joseph, declared, “it’s a miracle and I still can’t believe it. Glo is our family network; we communicate all the time and even with our family friends on Glo lines. I remember loading credit and data recently when the last subscription expired and after that, I opted in to join the promo. I was not expecting anything soon but yesterday morning I got a call from a Glo officer, who after a series of questions told me that I won a house. I was shocked.”

Prodded to speak further, the Ekiti indigene explained: “I was just planning on how to develop my plot of land gradually, and lo and behold, Glo showed up and made me a house owner. This prize is for me and my family and we are moving in immediately. God bless the owner, the management, and the staff of Globacom. They will continue to grow from strength to strength. I am overwhelmed with joy”.

The Speaker of Rivers State House of Assembly, Hon. Ikuinyi O. Ibani lauded Globacom for bringing joy and happiness to Nigerians through the Festival of Joy promo.  He said, ” Globacom is giving a home to the homeless and this is one of the best things you can do to help anyone in life”, adding that, “what Globacom has done today deserves commendation and is worthy of emulation, especially by other telecom companies in Nigeria”.

The Regional Manager of Globacom in Port Harcourt, Mr. Augustine Mamuro, noted that the company was glad to see the joy on the faces of lucky winners as they receive amazing prizes across the country.

“From the Garden City of Port Harcourt, the festival of Joy promo train will move to other cities including Lagos, Lokoja, Yola, Calabar, Kano, Enugu, and Makurdi where prizes will be presented to winners in these locations. A total of 20 houses, 24 brand new cars, 100 generators, 200 sewing machines, and 1,000 rechargeable fans will be given out in the promo”, Mamuro explained.

He urged Glo subscribers to dial the dedicated short code *611# to opt into the promo and keep recharging (voice and data during the promo period) to be eligible to win the prizes on offer.

The event, which had the representative of National Lottery Regulatory Commission (NLRC), Port Harcourt office, Mr. Walson Dambo present, also had in attendance the Chief Whip of Rivers State House of Assembly, Hon Evans Bipi, Deputy Chairman of Okrika Local Government, Hon. Obed Tamuno, and Nollywood icons such as Victor Osuagwu and Francis Duru.

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Food for Living: The Relationship Between Prayer and Work

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Pray as if everything depends on God; work as if everything depends on you.” – Saint Augustine

As we are gradually approach the end of the year, it is pertinent to examine how we have fared thereby ascertain where we got it right and wrong, and take take steps to make an improvement. A good way to know if you have fared well is by checking the results of all your actions and activities. This, in other words, means to consciously take stock of our products, services and life in general. Taking stock applies to all aspects of lives cutting across business, academic, family, government, personal and professional development. Regardless of any sector or industry you find yourself in, what people want to know is what you achieved while working there; that’s one way to access your value.

This informs the reason most people go all out to prove themselves during their probation periods. However, before you can produce results, you must understand what is needed wherever you are. You must also understand the power dynamics and how office politics is played. This will enable you to work smart.

There is a relationship between praying and working. Prayer has its role and so does work. It is important to note that you cannot succeed without praying for success, and you cannot also succeed without working. Both work hand in glove.  According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished ghost writer, “While prayer releases God’s favour, work unleashes the force of man. When God’s favour collides with your force, the extraordinary in you manifest”.

Therefore, you must work for everything you pray for, and pray for everything you work for. This means that for you to see the fruit which you have been promised, you must till they soil.

When you pray and work, you attract opportunities. Opportunities don’t literally come to you; you have to attract it. The mistake some people make is praying or asking people to do for them what they can do for themselves. It is important to note that nobody will assist you if you are not willing to assist yourself.

Did you know that work is a form of prayer? Yes, because when you work you are praying for a cause to take effect. According to Late M.K.O Abiola, “prayer is a work in action”.

For you to succeed in any establishment, you need an element of spiritual and physical blessings. Spiritual blessings can be prayers from your creator, parents, mentors, or even superiors, who have accomplished and distinguished themselves in the field. You cannot overrule this part. You might argue some wealthy men succeeded without the spiritual factor, well, what you fail to understand is that spiritual blessings come in various kinds. It can be positive or negative. For the purpose of this article, I will focus on the positive aspect.

Sometimes what we must understand is that when you see people who have truly succeeded in life, you don’t know the kind of seeds they have sowed in life. Maybe they have sponsored many people in schools, paid bills for men and women in hospitals, built infrastructural facilities etc. All these philanthropic acts may have generated a lot of goodwill prayers without the person knowing. That’s why sometimes, we don’t know the prayers that will be answered. Again, that is why it is always good to be good.

In conclusion, you have to be intentional with the kind of prayer you pray, and the kind of work you do.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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