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Food for Living: Overcoming Secret Frustration
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
If we are truly honest with ourselves, we’ll definitely know that, globally, the world is really experiencing challenging times as a result of the Coronavirus scourge. This has caused a lot of agonies for families, businesses, and governments. Many people have lost loved ones, businesses are gradually folding up, and the governance has really slowed down thereby leading to frustrations for many people. The question on the lips of everyone is, how can this virus be cured?
Today’s article is not about Coronavirus, I mentioned the term to introduced today’s article. Today’s article is focused on how we can overcome secret frustration. We all experience frustration in one area of our life unknown to anyone. This frustration can be in business, family, health, finance, academic, job-related, traveling, food, or even internal. The list is endless. We shall be exploring different areas of how we can deal with/overcome frustration.
Occasionally, we all get frustrated. Whether you are in traffic, or due to adversity, disappointment, belief or hope dashed to the wall or paying for consequences of our action that has caused us mental, psychological or financial pain. According to Wikipedia, “Frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. We experience frustration when our desires or targets are not met.
As you may know, succeeding in life is hard. It takes a lot of hard and smart work to break even. This is because a lot of factors come into consideration. For instance, you need a great network, you need knowledge and information, you need patience and perseverance, and more importantly, you need the “God factor” for those of you that truly believe in God. As an accomplished author and motivational writer, it can be very challenging to publish articles which no one reads. As a hard-working and dedicated student, it can be frustrating to read and prepare for an examination only to fail at the end of the exam. It can also be frustrating to be a talented singer, actor, comedian, public speaker, etc. and not get noticed for your work. All this can really be frustrating because the world might be seeing a huge potential/talent in you, but you’re yet to see the financial breakthrough you need.
It can also be that you have something you are craving for, but it’s yet to see the light of the day. For example, the world might be seeing a beautiful smart lady working in a reputable company; and endowed with a great character and vision in life. According to the perception of the world, the lady is complete, but inside her, she’s battling with loneliness and might be in dire need of a soulmate or husband as the case may. This is a classical case of secret frustration. If truth be told, we all have one form of secret frustration which the world does not know.
People may see you on the street or on the internet, but they won’t know what you’re going through. You may be blessed in many ways: good health, job, family, but you may be having pains in one area of your life which nobody knows. It can be desire for a child. You may have all the things the world considers good, but you don’t feel it because nobody notices your pain. This is part of the irony of life.
If we are honest, we all have this secret frustration living inside our body, but if you keep the right attitude, it will work for you. Don’t allow the vicissitudes of life weigh you down. Will there be problem? Definitely, there will always be problems and challenges in life. In fact, problems don’t go away, nor matter how hard you try to stay away from it, it always has its way of finding its way to you. That’s simply life.
You may be a good writer, public speaker, actor, dancer, etc. looking for opportunities to showcase what you have to the world, but no one seems to notice your work or talent. You may even be seeking platforms to partner or speak about your work, but the number of rejections and ill-luck you get on a daily or occasional basis makes you wonder if anything is wrong with you. The world has experienced cases whereby smart students with good GPA are still looking for a job. This might be there own secret frustration.
As a way of encouraging you, don’t put your life on hold because of the negative reports and energy you receive. Continue to do what you are doing; at the right time everything will add up. Never you give in to your secret frustration. Never you judge your life with that of another, they may even have more pains than you. The difference between your life and their lifestyle maybe how they manage their life and their problem in general. They may also have a great attitude towards life. Joyce Myers – a renowned preacher, in her book titled: Managing Your Emotions, urged us to manage our problems as opposed to bringing it out for the world to know our pains. No one is perfect. We all have one imperfection or the other. Informed and rational people major on their strengths and then work on their limitations.
Secret frustrations exist everywhere. Nobody opens us to the world, even if they do, they are mindful of the people/environment they share their pains with. Isn’t it true that the rich also cry? The same theory is applicable to business, corporations, countries and private establishments. Don’t allow your secret frustration to weigh you down. You have everything you need to succeed inside of you. Don’t get stocked up because of one inconvenience. We all have imperfections in our lives. Your secret frustration is one of the factors that will make you strong.
One of the best ways to live through life is by experience. Somethings you must learn through experience. For example, in reputable companies, you can’t be promoted without adequate preparation. It’s pertinent to note in this era of social media where most people only show you what they want you to know while leaving other shady areas behind. This set of individuals leaves you with the impression that all is well while leaving out their secret frustration behind.
The question we need to ask ourselves is how we overcome this secret fruition. The greatest way of overcoming this secret frustration is by affirmation. There’s big power in not only thinking positively, but also speaking positively. According to Lao Tzu “Watch your thoughts, they become your words, watch your words, they become your actions, watch your actions, they become your character and watch your character, they become your destiny”. This quote simply emphasizes the fact that our beliefs plays a fundamental role on how we overcome life challenges.
Whatever secret frustration you are facing, even it never changes, continue to believe by having good thoughts. It’s better to think/imagine good thoughts than having negative thoughts. You can do this by believing your dreams and living for your dream. Don’t let your secret frustration keep you from achieving your dreams.
Finally, but not the least, you can practice patience. Not heals more than time. Nor matter your pains and expectation towards life, having patience will enable you to attract the positive laws of attraction into your life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
The Court of Appeal, Abuja Division, has dismissed the EFCC’s appeal and affirmed the ₦12 million compensation awarded to Dr. Monday Ubani, SAN, for his unlawful 21-day detention in 2019. The court also awarded ₦300,000 in costs against the Commission.
Ubani was detained after securing administrative bail for a client accused of jumping bail. Despite a court order directing the EFCC to release him conditionally or charge him with any alleged offence, the Commission failed to comply, prompting his lawyer, Chief Professor Mike Ozekhome, to institute a fundamental rights action in his favour.
On January 5, 2022, the Abuja High Court, presided over by Justice Sylvanus Oriji, ruled in Ubani’s favour. The EFCC appealed, challenging the trial court’s jurisdiction and the amount of compensation awarded.
In dismissing the appeal, the Court of Appeal rejected both arguments, holding that the compensation was justified and that the EFCC’s investigative powers do not permit arbitrary detention or disobedience of court orders.
The judgment reaffirms that law enforcement agencies remain subject to the Constitution and judicial authority. It also underscores the protection of fundamental rights, the limits of law enforcement powers and the consequences of unlawful detention.
Beyond the financial award, the decision highlights the responsibilities of sureties and the obligation of security agencies to obey court orders, making it a potentially significant reference in future fundamental rights litigation.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
One of life’s most misunderstood concepts is the relationship between process and failure. When some people fail, they think they have done something wrong, but it could be that the person is experiencing the process, or their season has not yet come.
To understand this concept, let’s explain the two terms. A process is a series of structured actions, steps, or decisions taken in a specific order to transform input into a desired output or goal. Here are the key elements of a process
- Inputs: The raw materials, data, or starting requirements (such as ingredients, customer requests, or raw code).
- Activities/Steps: The specific tasks or decisions performed by people, tools, or machines.
- Trigger: An event or demand that kicks off the process (like submitting an order or launching an app).
- Output: The result, product, or delivered service.
- Owner: The person or role accountable for the outcome.
Failure, on the other hand, is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable, required, or intended objective. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, failure can result from any of the following:
- Omission or Neglect: Failing to perform an action that was promised, owed, or expected (such as a failure to pay on time or submit a report).
- System or Organ Malfunction: A situation where a machine, computer, engine, or bodily organ stops working properly (such as engine failure or kidney failure).
- Insolvency: A financial state of bankruptcy, such as the failure of a business or bank.
Having stated the above terms, one can decipher that process is a necessary tool for success. When a process is lacking, failure is inevitable.
I recently listened to a sermon by a Nigerian Pastor. According to the pastor, there’s something that looks like failure, but in a real sense, it is not failure; it is process. Sometimes in life, when we fail in business, examinations, careers, marriage, or even when our health fails us, the reason why they all happen is that we have failed to do the needful, or we need to go through a process.
Let me explain. Let’s say one has a business; if one has not taken the time to learn the trade very well, the person might fail for not learning a necessary skill required for the business, acquiring formal or informal education, or having a form of apprenticeship from a mentor, which might be all that’s necessary for the entrepreneur to succeed. This is what is called a process.
Also, a student will need to read, research, and do assignments to pass an examination. An employee will have to learn a job as an entry-level employee and work his way through to become the Chief Executive Officer. All this involves a process.
Marriage is not an exception. There’s no successful marriage without a form of mentoring or training. A man/woman must undergo a process of marriage counseling to learn about how to win in marriage. In this training, they will learn about communication in marriage, money in marriage, sex in marriage, money in marriage, and personalities in marriage
I strongly believe that there’s time for everything. There is an appointed time for everything. When something is not in its season, don’t expect to deliver. When one puts pressure, it’s bound to fail.
I can vividly remember what my most revered mentor, Dr. Yomi Garnett, counseled me on the importance of patience. A little background about the case: at that time, I had no job. I was working as a security officer. I tried to use my connections to secure a decent job, but it was very challenging. I reached out to Dr. Yomi, whom I call the sage because of his scintillating and rational wisdom. After ranting to him about my litany of problems, he said to me, “Henry, if you like, meet President Obama, Trump, etc.; if God is not ready to give you a job, you won’t get a job”. He went further to say, you can’t rush God. When the time is ready, God will align everything for you.
According to my mentors, there’s something God and the universe want me to learn. I must go through some process of refining for the task ahead. These refining processes might be preparing for the greater task by learning what needs to be learned, or it could be a case of God teaching me wisdom or something of value that will be useful to me in the near future which I may not be able to see now.
When I look back in retrospect, I can authoritatively say my mentor was right.
Sometimes in life, we prepare for the opportunities, while sometimes, we don’t prepare. We just learn on the job. But I honestly think it’s good to prepare before one embarks on any journey. That preparation is called a process.
To understand how the process works, do you know that if you plant corn in the season that is not the rainy season, you will believe it’s a bad seed, but no, that’s not the case because you planted the corn in the wrong season. Even the bible says there’s a time for everything.
Also, someone might finish university and become frustrated because he doesn’t have a job. What the person might not know is that their season is yet to manifest. It could also be that the student might need refinement, which comes with the process.
It’s instructive to note that when your season comes, nothing can stop it; there will be alignment, and the universe will work for you. What you did many years ago that failed to attract attention will begin to attract attention and draw you in.
Today, I pray, may you command attention in your season, not after your season.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Success . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Accomplished media entrepreneur and chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Chief Dele Momodu, has said that nobody trusts President Bola Tinubu to conduct a free and fair election, including the President’s own supporters.
Momodu also noted that there is a belief that if the President does not win in 2027, he will not want to relinquish power.
He added that if Tinubu refuses to step down, he would be chased out of the Presidential Villa.
Momodu made the revelations while speaking on Arise News Prime Time belt.
“If you ask an average Nigerian today about Tinubu, ‘Do you trust Tinubu to conduct a free and fair election?’ I can tell you, 90 per cent of them will say no.
“Look, nobody trusts Tinubu to run a free and fair election, including his own supporters. They will tell you, ‘Oh, we are going to win. There is no way we won’t win.’ Ask them why, and they will say, ‘Oh, you know our oga now.’
“In fact, some people are even suggesting that if Tinubu loses the election, he will not agree to step down. I say, why won’t he agree? We will chase him away.
“Look, you do not know the determination of Nigerians. And now, I’m not resting my confidence on just my party. I’m talking about the ordinary man on the street who cannot imagine Tinubu coming back again. They just can’t.
“I can’t tell you our strategy in public. What we know is that, once upon a time, Tinubu fought for himself to secure a second term as governor of Lagos State.
“So, others are also working very hard behind the scenes. We are not going to come out in public and say this, but we know what to do to make sure that he does not get that second term. We also know that some of the people pretending to support him today—and I’m not trying to trivialise this thing.
“I know some of them. They are praying fervently that they will not have to go through this situation where governors become like houseboys. Governors are scared. Judges are scared. Legislators are scared.
“So, Tinubu has become a god whom nobody is ready to confront and say, ‘Oga, you’ve done your best. Please, go home.’”
