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Food for Living: Overcoming Secret Frustration

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

If we are truly honest with ourselves, we’ll definitely know that, globally, the world is really experiencing challenging times as a result of the Coronavirus scourge. This has caused a lot of agonies for families, businesses, and governments. Many people have lost loved ones, businesses are gradually folding up, and the governance has really slowed down thereby leading to frustrations for many people. The question on the lips of everyone is, how can this virus be cured?

Today’s article is not about Coronavirus, I mentioned the term to introduced today’s article. Today’s article is focused on how we can overcome secret frustration. We all experience frustration in one area of our life unknown to anyone. This frustration can be in business, family, health, finance, academic, job-related, traveling, food, or even internal. The list is endless. We shall be exploring different areas of how we can deal with/overcome frustration.

Occasionally, we all get frustrated. Whether you are in traffic, or due to adversity, disappointment, belief or hope dashed to the wall or paying for consequences of our action that has caused us mental, psychological or financial pain. According to Wikipedia, “Frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. We experience frustration when our desires or targets are not met.

As you may know, succeeding in life is hard. It takes a lot of hard and smart work to break even. This is because a lot of factors come into consideration. For instance, you need a great network, you need knowledge and information, you need patience and perseverance, and more importantly, you need the “God factor” for those of you that truly believe in God. As an accomplished author and motivational writer, it can be very challenging to publish articles which no one reads. As a hard-working and dedicated student, it can be frustrating to read and prepare for an examination only to fail at the end of the exam. It can also be frustrating to be a talented singer, actor, comedian, public speaker, etc. and not get noticed for your work. All this can really be frustrating because the world might be seeing a huge potential/talent in you, but you’re yet to see the financial breakthrough you need.

It can also be that you have something you are craving for, but it’s yet to see the light of the day. For example, the world might be seeing a beautiful smart lady working in a reputable company; and endowed with a great character and vision in life. According to the perception of the world, the lady is complete, but inside her, she’s battling with loneliness and might be in dire need of a soulmate or husband as the case may.  This is a classical case of secret frustration. If truth be told, we all have one form of secret frustration which the world does not know.

People may see you on the street or on the internet, but they won’t know what you’re going through. You may be blessed in many ways: good health, job, family, but you may be having pains in one area of your life which nobody knows. It can be desire for a child. You may have all the things the world considers good, but you don’t feel it because nobody notices your pain. This is part of the irony of life.

If we are honest, we all have this secret frustration living inside our body, but if you keep the right attitude, it will work for you. Don’t allow the vicissitudes of life weigh you down. Will there be problem? Definitely, there will always be problems and challenges in life. In fact, problems don’t go away, nor matter how hard you try to stay away from it, it always has its way of finding its way to you. That’s simply life.

You may be a good writer, public speaker, actor, dancer, etc. looking for opportunities to showcase what you have to the world, but no one seems to notice your work or talent.  You may even be seeking platforms to partner or speak about your work, but the number of rejections and ill-luck you get on a daily or occasional basis makes you wonder if anything is wrong with you. The world has experienced cases whereby smart students with good GPA are still looking for a job. This might be there own secret frustration.

As a way of encouraging you, don’t put your life on hold because of the negative reports and energy you receive. Continue to do what you are doing; at the right time everything will add up. Never you give in to your secret frustration. Never you judge your life with that of another, they may even have more pains than you. The difference between your life and their lifestyle maybe how they manage their life and their problem in general.  They may also have a great attitude towards life. Joyce Myers – a renowned preacher, in her book titled: Managing Your Emotions, urged us to manage our problems as opposed to bringing it out for the world to know our pains. No one is perfect. We all have one imperfection or the other. Informed and rational people major on their strengths and then work on their limitations.

Secret frustrations exist everywhere. Nobody opens us to the world, even if they do, they are mindful of the people/environment they share their pains with. Isn’t it true that the rich also cry?  The same theory is applicable to business, corporations, countries and private establishments. Don’t allow your secret frustration to weigh you down. You have everything you need to succeed inside of you. Don’t get stocked up because of one inconvenience. We all have imperfections in our lives. Your secret frustration is one of the factors that will make you strong.

One of the best ways to live through life is by experience. Somethings you must learn through experience. For example, in reputable companies, you can’t be promoted without adequate preparation.  It’s pertinent to note in this era of social media where most people only show you what they want you to know while leaving other shady areas behind. This set of individuals leaves you with the impression that all is well while leaving out their secret frustration behind.

The question we need to ask ourselves is how we overcome this secret fruition. The greatest way of overcoming this secret frustration is by affirmation. There’s big power in not only thinking positively, but also speaking positively. According to Lao Tzu “Watch your thoughts, they become your words, watch your words, they become your actions, watch your actions, they become your character and watch your character, they become your destiny”. This quote simply emphasizes the fact that our beliefs plays a fundamental role on how we overcome life challenges.

Whatever secret frustration you are facing, even it never changes, continue to believe by having good thoughts. It’s better to think/imagine good thoughts than having negative thoughts. You can do this by believing your dreams and living for your dream. Don’t let your secret frustration keep you from achieving your dreams.

Finally, but not the least, you can practice patience. Not heals more than time. Nor matter your pains and expectation towards life, having patience will enable you to attract the positive laws of attraction into your life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com

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2027: INEC Urges Oba of Lagos to Caution Politicians Against Divisive Campaigns

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The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has urged the Oba of Lagos, Oba Rilwan Babatunde Osuolale Aremu Akiolu, to caution politicians against divisive conduct as campaigns for the 2027 general elections intensify.

INEC Chairman, Prof. Joash Amupitan, made the appeal on Tuesday when he led officials of the commission on a courtesy visit to the monarch at Iga Idunganran on Lagos Island.

The visit was part of activities marking the conclusion of INEC’s South-West Zonal Readiness Assessment and Staff Interactive Session.

Amupitan urged the Oba to deploy his influence as a traditional ruler and father to politicians across party lines to encourage issue-based campaigns and discourage personal attacks, hate speech and inflammatory rhetoric.

He said: “We urge you, as a father to all politicians regardless of their party affiliations, to counsel them to focus on issues rather than insults. Let them debate policies, not personalities”.

The INEC chairman described traditional institutions as important pillars of peace and social cohesion, stressing that their influence was critical to ensuring a peaceful electoral process.

According to him, while INEC is deploying technology to strengthen the electoral process, technological innovations alone cannot guarantee peaceful and credible elections without the cooperation of citizens and traditional institutions.

He appealed to the Oba of Lagos and the Lagos Traditional Council to support the commission in mobilising residents to participate actively in the electoral process.

Amupitan said the National Register of Voters was fast approaching 100 million, adding that managing the electoral process across the 36 states and the Federal Capital Territory required not only technical preparedness but also the cooperation and moral support of traditional institutions.

According to him, traditional rulers remained enduring anchors of their communities, whose influence extended beyond political parties and electoral cycles.

The INEC chairman sought the monarch’s support in encouraging eligible residents to complete their voter registration and collect their Permanent Voter Cards (PVCs).

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NDC Condemns Attack on Obi’s Convoy in Benue

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The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) has condemned the alleged attack and obstruction of its presidential candidate, Peter Obi, during his visit to Benue State.

The NDC National Publicity Secretary, Osa Director, said Obi’s convoy was blocked by suspected thugs who prevented him from gaining access to Yelwata community, where more than 270 people were reportedly killed.

The statement alleged that the group led by an aide of Governor Hyacinth Alia, and was armed with dangerous weapons.

The statement read: “According to reports, the group was allegedly led by an aide to the Benue State governor, Rev. Fr. Hyacinth Alia.

“Armed with dangerous weapons, they blocked Obi’s convoy and prevented him from gaining entry into Yelwata community, where over 270 people were reportedly massacred.

“In his own words, Mr. Obi stated: “I arrived in Benue this morning at about 9 am with the intention of visiting the victims and families affected by the horrific killings in Yelwata. Unfortunately, we were stopped from proceeding to the community by thugs chanting, ‘Peter Obi, go back.’

“The NDC finds it deeply troubling and condemnable that a visit intended solely to mourn with grieving families, offer solidarity, and listen to victims about how to prevent future tragedies was obstructed in this manner.

“Mr. Obi further stated: “I came to Benue not for politics but to mourn with our people, to listen to families who have lost loved ones, and to offer our solidarity during a moment of unimaginable pain. At a time when our nation should be united in grief and committed to preventing further loss of life, we must avoid actions that deepen divisions.”

“The NDC believes that Benue and all Nigerians deserve to live, sleep peacefully, travel safely, and farm their lands without fear. Above all, they deserve a government that priorities the protection of human life above every other consideration.

“Although access to the community was denied today, the hearts and prayers of the NDC and our presidential candidate remain with the victims, their families, and the entire Yelwata community.

“We will not be deterred. The NDC will persist until we restore the fundamental responsibility of government: the protection of every Nigerian’s life.

“We call on the Benue State Government and relevant security agencies to immediately investigate this incident, bring the perpetrators to justice, and guarantee the safety of all citizens and leaders who seek to show solidarity in times of grief.”

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Food for Living: Trust Your Wings

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Wing means different things to different entities. To a bird, it means the ability to fly; to an angel, it means a medium of delivering goodwill messages; to a bat, it’s seen as a form of movement from one spot to another, and many more. The million dollar question, therefore, is what’s the purpose of a wing to you as an individual? To fly, to jump, or have fun with?

We all have wings, no doubt, but most people are not in the habit of using their wings well. Some even use their wings for the wrong reasons. But your wings can serve as an asset to your personal and professional development if properly activated.

To drive home how wings can serve as a tool for enhancement, I will explain using a bird. As we all know, a bird’s wing is for flying. The eagle is considered the king of the sky or king of the air because its ability to fly far above the earth and reach great altitudes represents untethered freedom, liberation from bondage, and a perspective that rises above worldly troubles.

The reason the eagle can fly is simply because of its wings. The wing does not depend on the eyes to fly; no, the eye serves a unique purpose that enables the eagle to see what other birds can’t see. The eagle’s eye gives it clarity, hyper-focus, heightened awareness, and the ability to see the bigger picture beyond immediate distractions.

The birds are not an exception. Do you know that if a bird lands on a branch, the branch does not break; even if it breaks, the bird is not scared of falling because it trusts its ability to fly because of its wings. Let me ask you a question: when a bird lands on a branch of a tree, does it trust the branch not to break, or does it trust its ability to fly? One may say both to an extent; however,  I will say the bird will trust its wings more because the bird ought to have common sense to know what can protect and sustain it, and that is its wings.

The main reason the bird won’t be scared is simply because of its wings. The bird knows that even if the branch breaks or falls apart, it won’t fall; rather, it will fly away to safety. This is how simple life works: most times, we depend on people, money, and other things to succeed, but the main person we ought to depend on is God, as well as believe in ourselves. And to believe in ourselves, we must have self-confidence.

One of the greatest limiting factors preventing us from succeeding in life is lack of confidence. Many people don’t believe in themselves; even those who believe in themselves sometimes have doubts. In some cases, they lack the confidence to take the bold step. If you have confidence like a bird, you won’t be scared if anyone leaves you. Even if you are fired from your job or experience challenges in life, you will know it’s for a short period of time and that you can bounce back.

Still on the story of the bird, the birds trust their wings to fly and not the branch. The birds know that anything can happen to the branch. For instance, a hunter may try to shoot the tree, and the force can affect the branch; a big animal with weight may try to attack the bird, and the weight may break the branch. It could be any reason.

So, in real life, we’ll be tested; life is going to test the branches we are relying on or standing on. These branches can be our friends, family members, our health, religion, business, money, relationship, academics, jobs, etc. All these branches will shake; some will disappear without warning. Question: What will you do when your “branch” falls apart?  Do you cry over spilt milk, or will you activate your wings of perseverance? Let me tell you, your wings belong to you. Your wings are your power. They cannot be taken away from you no matter what, unless you give them up.

As mentioned earlier, your wings can be your confidence, perseverance, character, knowledge, skill, or even gift/talent. All these virtues don’t come from what you are standing on. They should come from inside of you. So, don’t give up that inherent power in you. Remember, if the whole world is telling you you can do something, and you know you can’t do it, you will fail, but if the whole world is telling you you can’t do something, and you know you can do it, you will succeed because 1 John 4:4 says, he that is in you is greater and strong than he that is in the world.

In my journey through life, I discovered that many people trust their branch for approval, comfort, and sustenance; they forget that they are born to fly.

It’s instructive to note that life doesn’t offer us a straight road. Life is not tested when everything is stable around us; rather, it is tested when there’s chaos and when everything around us begins to shake. And, as such, it does not punish you when your branch breaks; rather, it reminds you who you are, and it instructs you to remember what’s always yours from the start. All you need is the key to activate your wings so you can fly. Don’t allow failure to define you. Do you see why it’s important to trust your wings?

I need you to understand that if you learn to trust yourself by trusting your wings, you won’t be afraid of failing.  Trust me, your wings are not safe because the world is safe. The world is not safe and will never be safe, so trust your wings because you can overcome any storm or challenges that come to you when everything falls apart

As I begin to wrap up, I need you to look into yourself and ask yourself, what’s the wing inside of me? What’s the wing I’m yet to activate? If you find it, please activate it and trust it. Remember, you’ll experience challenges and setbacks, but that’s part of the process of trusting your wings. So, my final message to you today is: Stop trying to fix the branch when it’s time to fly. Fly, because it’s your heritage.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to SuccessUnleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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