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Food for Living: Phases and Stages of Life
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The school of life is an institution no one can graduate from. It is equated to marriage where new things as well as surprises are the order of the day, occurring on a daily basis. However, there are ways to live through life, and one of them is to accept each day as they come.
Life is truly great and enjoyable if we understand it and accept this truth. There’s no doubt that life is such a great challenge, and we must work hard and smart to overcome the challenge. Once we acknowledge it, nothing really matters any longer because life becomes an infinitely easier project to pursue.
As human beings, we will be tested and tempted. One’s ability to overcome each test and temptation will set one on a higher pedestal. The book of life made us understand there’s time for everything. A time to cry, and a time to laugh, a time to sow and a time to reap, According to the Book of life “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”
One thing is certain if one looks at the timing- they all come in stages and phases. When there’s misplaced priority, success appears like mirage. One’s ability to manage each phase will strengthen one.
Life comes in several stages. When a child is born, the child will learn to crawl before learning how to walk and run. The same is applicable for a student who is interested in education, he will attend high school, college and post graduate studies. These are all stages of life.
The same phase is applicable in relationships and marriage. During the dating and courting stage, the relationship is different, immediately the parties marry, the tone changes. Marriage has three stages namely: Romance (or Honeymoon) stage, Power Struggle (or Disillusionment) stage, and Real Love (or Mature/Conscious Love) stage.
Let’s analyze each stage:
Romance/Honeymoon: (The “Falling in Love” Phase)
This stage is characterized by high intensity, passion, and bonding. At this stage, partners focus on similarities and overlook flaws. At this stage a partner might step on the other partner and instead of getting hurt, the partner will smile and say something like: I love the way you stepped on me, or step on me harder, it makes me endure the love. At this stage partners do everything together. This stage usually lasts from a few weeks to a couple of years.
The first three to five years of marriage can generally be regarded as the most challenging part of marriage, especially the kids start coming in; if it’s not properly managed, the marriage might hit the rock.
Power Struggle/Disillusionment (The “Reckoning” Phase)
During this stage, the “rose-colored glasses” usually come off, and partners notice flaws and differences, leading to “disillusionment, disappointment, and early conflicts”. It is at this stage kids start coming up and the challenge of life starts hitting up. The stage is often characterized by struggles with control, communication, and frustration over unmet expectations. Many couples usually get stuck here, if proper is not applied, it might end the relationship.
Stage 3: Real Love/Mature Love (The “Conscious” Phase)
At this stage, the couples have seen it all. They have been through all stages of life and have seen it all. There’s literally little or nothing that can affect marriage at this stage. It’s only unimaginable and unbecoming acts that lead to the fundamental tenets of marriage that can make the marriage hit the rock.
At this stage couples have trained their children through colleges, and some may have married. Couples will be able to laugh over their acts and start to bond again.
At this stage, couples have been able to navigate their conflict and have learnt to accept their partner’s flaws and choose to build a stable, loving, and mature relationship. Their focus is usually to build a deeper commitment to their marital vows, finally accepting each partner for whom they are, and working together to create a conscious and intentional partnership.
The outcome is usually a sense of safety, connection and lasting love: A sense of safety, deep connection, and lasting love.
In business, the principle is not exempted. An entrepreneur will begin a business, grow it, attract customers, hire employees and then institutionalize it. All these stages come with several phases if one is intentional.
An employee who is hired as an entry level position will have to prove his worth by producing measurable results to walk through the corporate ladder to become Chief Executive Officer, Chief Operating Officer, Chief Financial Officer or one of the higher ups. This position doesn’t come ordinarily; one must have earned it.
In conclusion, regardless of what stage one is experiencing or facing, one thing is certain, this too shall pass, and we shall overcome. So, just hang in there.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Food for Living: You are a Star
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
We are all stars, but sometimes we act like the moon and sun. Don’t get me wrong, the moon and sun are all God’s creatures, but in this context, I’m referring to the star as it relates to being a standard, an exceptional being and a leader that will set the pace for others to follow.
Being a star gives you an identity and opportunity to showcase the world what you are made of. Your star will shine when you are working on purpose. At creation, we were all created with a unique purpose which will be manifested on earth. So, it’s fair to say our purpose was made in heaven, but our assignment is on earth.
It’s instructive to note that our start is the embodiment of what makes us to be identifiable, recognizable and traceable. When our star is shining, the world stands still and observes. Isn’t it true that the world sets apart for the man who knows where he’s going.
Everyone loves a star. Imagine being the best in your class, team, or even in the family, you will be the envy of everyone. Stars attract jealousy. To understand how a star works, imagine playing soccer, despite each team having captains and star players, it’s whoever that has the ball the attention of the players, spectators and the world will be focused on because at that moment, whoever has the ball is the star, hence the reason why the person is being tackled.
Stars attract favor, blessings, opportunities, and blessings just because they are fulfilling their purpose of manifestation. As a self-discovery coach, I propounded the concept of STAR. S stands for shining, T represents Target, the A represents Action and R represents Recognition.
A brief analysis of the concept of STAR will give a proper perspective. When one is a star, one will be a shining star, and when one is a shining star, they’ll definitely be a target because the sugar will always attract ants. Because one is a star, they’ll be action oriented. A star can’t be hidden. It is the work they do that makes them noticeable which ultimately gives them recognition.
If I may ask you, are you a star? If yes, what makes you a star? Stars are a unique set of people who excel more than their counterparts or contemporaries. Stars defy human logic and understanding, especially when there is a spiritual element attached to it. While humans go to school to acquire knowledge and information, stars have inherent and intuitive knowledge which is revealed to them from God.
A little insight into the inherent and intuitive knowledge of how stars work. One’s profession is what one is trained to do in school or even taught in practice, one’s vocation is what one is paid to do like skilled work or a regular 9-5 work, while one’s ministry is where one’s talent/gift manifests their God given potential. When one is a star, both their profession, vocation and ministry will be working in alignment. They won’t have to do much to excel. Their light will gradually shine effortlessly with little or no support. A little effort by them will magnify their work.
It’s unfortunate that many stars can’t shine because many people are afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone. Some of us are afraid of what the world will say, how their message will be received, and how one can overcome these challenges if their star is not shining as it ought to. This is one of the major challenges why most people fail to activate their star. Trust me, I get it. The fears and concerns are valid. As humans we are bound to have fears, however, our desire for success should outweigh our fear for failure.
Do you know that the grave is considered the richest place on planet earth? Yes, because many talents are buried inside the grave simply because some people failed to unleash their talents, gifts and God given potentials. Here is what I will say, may we not die with what God has given to us.
Do you want to be a star? If yes, ask yourself, what makes you unique? If you discover it, say to yourself, I am a star, I am blessed. I am a child of destiny. I will fulfill my purpose. I will not die with what God has given to me. I will shine and I will possess my possession because I am a star.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Success . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Osogbo Shooting: Davido, Not Gov Adeleke Was the Target – Police
Music star, David Adeleke, popularly known as Davido, was the target of the attack on the convoy of Osun State governor, according to the police.
Daily Trust had reported how security escorts of the governor engaged some unidentified men in a gun duel during the governor’s visit to the palace of the Ataoja of Osogbo, earlier on Wednesday.
The governor had visited the monarch shortly after receiving his certificate of return from the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC).
His nephew, Davido, who was actively involved in the election, alongside his children, accompanied the governor to INEC office and the palace.
Some residents of Oja Oba Osogbo said gunshots caused panic for over 15 minutes as the men kept shooting sporadically while the governor’s security detail returned fire.
Commenting on the incident, Police Public Relations Officer in Osun, Abiodun Ojelabi, said preliminary investigation revealed that members of Eye Confraternity were after Davido.
“One Adebayo Taoreed, popularly known as “Small Rugged”, an ex convict, a suspected notorious thug and a member of eye confraternity allegedly attempted to gain access to Davido but was resisted by members of his security Team.
“The ensuing confrontation reportedly attracted other suspected gang members in the vicinity, who temporarily blocked the entrance to the palace and obstructed the movement of the convoy of the Governor.”
Ojelabi said a 60-year-old man identified as Tajudeen Yusuf was shot dead during the gun duel.
“Shortly afterwards, the suspected gang members reportedly departed the vicinity and, however on their way, they allegedly shot Tajudeen Yusuf at Itaolokan area of Osogbo.
“Upon receiving the information, the police immediately mobilised a patrol team to the scene, where the victim was found lying in a pool of blood. He was promptly rushed to the University Teaching Hospital, Osogbo, for medical attention. Unfortunately, he was pronounced dead by the doctors on duty.”
“The Command has commenced a full-scale investigation into the incident and intensified efforts to identify, apprehend and bring the fleeing suspects to justice.
“The Commissioner of Police (Election), Osun State Command, CP Samuel Etaifo, strongly condemns the dastardly act and assures members of the public that the Command will deploy all available resources to apprehend those responsible.
“The Command therefore urges anyone with useful information that could assist the investigation to promptly approach the nearest police station or contact the Command through its official channels. Members of the public are also advised to remain calm and refrain from taking the law into their own hands.”
The PPRO said the Police Command has commenced a full-scale investigation into the shooting incident.
Ojelabi said further updates on the incident would be provided as the investigation progresses.
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Adeleke Pledges Forgiveness for Adversaries, Dedicates Certificate of Return to Osun People
Governor Ademola Adeleke said he has forgiven all those who may have offended him during the state elections and declared that he bears no grudge against political adversaries and opponents.
The governor who spoke while receiving a certificate of return from the electoral commission said “God has fought my battles for me and so I hold unto God throughout the duration of the political war and now that I have been re-elected”
While announcing a Five Hundred Million naira (N500m) education scholarship for victims of political violence, the governor commended the electoral body for acting professionally and within the dictates of the electoral act.
“I commend the electoral commission for doing a good job. You stood for democracy. I commend the security agencies, especially the Commissioner of Police for Election, the DSS. I would have loved the police to do more but we thank God the election day went violent free”, the governor submitted.
The INEC National Commissioner for Osun election, Prof Kunle Ajayi in his address commended the passion, the commitment and the activism of Osun voters whom he said defied electoral violence and trooped out to exercise their voting rights.
“Osun people are the heroes of the Saturday election. Active citizenry always makes a difference in the conduct of credible elections. Osun people proved to the world that democracy can work when the people are involved”, the INEC chief said
At a massively attended rally organised by the joint labour movement at Osogbo, the governor commiserated with families of the deceased and the injured, lamenting that “we remember Ezekiel Olapade, Aderogba Ajayi, Remi Abass, Kolade Eluyera, and the many other victims whose lives were cut short or permanently affected by electoral violence. To their families, I say: your pain has not been forgotten, and your loved ones will never be reduced to statistics.
“As part of our commitment to supporting affected families, the Adeleke family, through the Springtime Development Foundation, will provide automatic scholarships up to university level for the children and dependents of those who lost their lives”, the governor declared at a separate celebration rally organised by Osun labour movement.
“Today is not merely a day for the presentation of a Certificate of Return. It is a day of gratitude, reflection and, above all, appreciation for the people of Osun State who stood firm for democracy.
“This certificate does not belong to Ademola Adeleke alone. It belongs to the people of Osun State, the market men and women, workers, youths, traditional and religious leaders, and every citizen who demonstrates that our democracy cannot be intimidated, purchased or suppressed. I am deeply humbled by your courage and by the confidence you have renewed in me.
“But as we celebrate, we must remember those who paid a painful price during the electoral process. Citizens were injured, properties were destroyed, livelihoods disrupted and, most painfully, lives were lost.
“In addition, the Osun State Government will establish a ₦500 million Election Violence Victims Endowment Fund to provide relief and support to verified victims and families affected by the violence.
“A Verification and Relief Committee, chaired by the Speaker of the Osun State House of Assembly, Rt. Hon. Adewale Olumide Egbedun, will oversee the transparent identification and assessment of victims and the equitable distribution of relief.
“This is not a political fund. It is a humanitarian intervention. No eligible victim will be discriminated against on the basis of political affiliation, religion, ethnicity, gender or social status”, the governor told the thousands of public workers at the State Secretariat.
The Chairman of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC), Osun state chapter, Dr Christopher Arapasopo praised the labour movement on the re-election of Governor Adeleke and announced that in future legislative elections, Osun workers will still vote for Accord candidates.
“We defied attacks and intimidation to support the re-election of Governor Adeleke. We will never bow to those who want to enslave us. We will still vote Accord in future legislative elections”, the labour chief vowed.
Governor Adeleke later visited the Ataoja of Osogbo, the Timi of Ede and Senator Oluwole Alabi to present his certificate of returns for royal blessings.






