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Food for Living: Phases and Stages of Life
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The school of life is an institution no one can graduate from. It is equated to marriage where new things as well as surprises are the order of the day, occurring on a daily basis. However, there are ways to live through life, and one of them is to accept each day as they come.
Life is truly great and enjoyable if we understand it and accept this truth. There’s no doubt that life is such a great challenge, and we must work hard and smart to overcome the challenge. Once we acknowledge it, nothing really matters any longer because life becomes an infinitely easier project to pursue.
As human beings, we will be tested and tempted. One’s ability to overcome each test and temptation will set one on a higher pedestal. The book of life made us understand there’s time for everything. A time to cry, and a time to laugh, a time to sow and a time to reap, According to the Book of life “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”
One thing is certain if one looks at the timing- they all come in stages and phases. When there’s misplaced priority, success appears like mirage. One’s ability to manage each phase will strengthen one.
Life comes in several stages. When a child is born, the child will learn to crawl before learning how to walk and run. The same is applicable for a student who is interested in education, he will attend high school, college and post graduate studies. These are all stages of life.
The same phase is applicable in relationships and marriage. During the dating and courting stage, the relationship is different, immediately the parties marry, the tone changes. Marriage has three stages namely: Romance (or Honeymoon) stage, Power Struggle (or Disillusionment) stage, and Real Love (or Mature/Conscious Love) stage.
Let’s analyze each stage:
Romance/Honeymoon: (The “Falling in Love” Phase)
This stage is characterized by high intensity, passion, and bonding. At this stage, partners focus on similarities and overlook flaws. At this stage a partner might step on the other partner and instead of getting hurt, the partner will smile and say something like: I love the way you stepped on me, or step on me harder, it makes me endure the love. At this stage partners do everything together. This stage usually lasts from a few weeks to a couple of years.
The first three to five years of marriage can generally be regarded as the most challenging part of marriage, especially the kids start coming in; if it’s not properly managed, the marriage might hit the rock.
Power Struggle/Disillusionment (The “Reckoning” Phase)
During this stage, the “rose-colored glasses” usually come off, and partners notice flaws and differences, leading to “disillusionment, disappointment, and early conflicts”. It is at this stage kids start coming up and the challenge of life starts hitting up. The stage is often characterized by struggles with control, communication, and frustration over unmet expectations. Many couples usually get stuck here, if proper is not applied, it might end the relationship.
Stage 3: Real Love/Mature Love (The “Conscious” Phase)
At this stage, the couples have seen it all. They have been through all stages of life and have seen it all. There’s literally little or nothing that can affect marriage at this stage. It’s only unimaginable and unbecoming acts that lead to the fundamental tenets of marriage that can make the marriage hit the rock.
At this stage couples have trained their children through colleges, and some may have married. Couples will be able to laugh over their acts and start to bond again.
At this stage, couples have been able to navigate their conflict and have learnt to accept their partner’s flaws and choose to build a stable, loving, and mature relationship. Their focus is usually to build a deeper commitment to their marital vows, finally accepting each partner for whom they are, and working together to create a conscious and intentional partnership.
The outcome is usually a sense of safety, connection and lasting love: A sense of safety, deep connection, and lasting love.
In business, the principle is not exempted. An entrepreneur will begin a business, grow it, attract customers, hire employees and then institutionalize it. All these stages come with several phases if one is intentional.
An employee who is hired as an entry level position will have to prove his worth by producing measurable results to walk through the corporate ladder to become Chief Executive Officer, Chief Operating Officer, Chief Financial Officer or one of the higher ups. This position doesn’t come ordinarily; one must have earned it.
In conclusion, regardless of what stage one is experiencing or facing, one thing is certain, this too shall pass, and we shall overcome. So, just hang in there.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Progressive Governors Forum (PGF) has been factionalized ahead of the 2027 general elections.
The rival factions emerged after its chairman, Governor Hope Uzodimma, was reportedly removed on Thursday.
While Uzodimma insists that he remains PGF chairman, Ogun State governor, Dapo Abiodun and his Kwara State counterpart, AbdulRahman AbdulRazaq, are reportedly leading a separate faction.
Another bloc within the forum has reportedly queued behind the duo of Abiodun and AbdulRazaq.
The development, which comes amid growing political realignments within the ruling party, marks a significant crack in the ranks of APC governors ahead of the 2027 general elections.
According to reports by Arise TV, details surrounding the disagreement remain unclear, but sources within the party said tensions have been building over internal leadership control and strategic positioning ahead of the next election season.
As of the time of filing this report, none of the factions had made an official clarification regarding the alleged division.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
It would not be out of place to state that every human has experienced one challenge or another in his lifetime, and somehow still experiencing some form of challenges, no matter how mild or insignificant. No one can claim he is without experience.
Against this backdrop therefore, I ask, what’s your experience like?
Different life experiences are encountered in our everyday living including business, marriage, academic, spiritual, family personal or professional. Sometimes, our experiences shape us and leave us with lasting memories.
One of the things I have learnt about life is never to complain; complaining doesn’t change anything, rather it aggravates everything. If I may ask, why worry when you can’t change the situation? According to the Serenity Prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
As humans, it’s normal to give up when the odds are against one, pushing becomes a herculean task when the odds are against one, motivation becomes an illusion, and inspiration becomes imagination.
One of the great ways to succeed in life is to live each day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, and accepting hardships as one of the “pathways” to succeed despite all the odds. This is one of the important teachings of the Serenity Prayer.
Let’s analyze the Serenity Prayer. We were instructed to accept the things we cannot change, have the courage to change the things we can change, and then seek discernment to know when we need to accept our faith and when we need to move on despite the odds staring at us.
An example of what we cannot change is death; we just must live through it with the right attitude. An example of what we can change is our lifestyle, and to know the difference, we need to listen to our inner heart.
As we explore life vicissitudes, we are supposed to know when to act, when we are supposed to relax, and when the universe, God, or life is teaching us or telling us something.
Understanding the concept of against all odds is not for the faint-hearted because it is hard to trust something or surrender to someone when one doesn’t feel secure. Imagine a case scenario when one is trying to contest for an election, and the institutions and gatekeepers are against one’s candidacy, and still the person perseveres. Taking a case study of Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United States of America, very few people believed he would win the election because he’s a Black man. Against all odds, he won the election and re-election twice against two formidable, wealthy White politicians.
The significance of this victory is that president Obama has faith and believes in himself despite the numerous nay voices he was hearing from within and outside.
We have all experienced this situation in one way or another, but we refused to give up. I remembered when I had my first election, I wasn’t given a chance to win, but to my detractors’ greatest concern, I won with an impressive result.
Another scenario, played out while I was in New York Law School, I was pursuing a program I had little or no interest in. I personally didn’t believe I would graduate from the school, but as fate may have it, I was able to get a scholarship when my results were considered an uncommon academic success.
The moral of these scenarios is that, in the journey of life, we must have faith in our vision and we must believe in our capacity to succeed against all odds. When you do, people will see and feel it and potentially come through for you, all things being equal.
Furthermore, in the journey to life, life throws different arrows and shades at us. The best we can do is to accept it and be open. Sometimes, what we fail to understand is that our blessings and opportunities come in places we don’t expect. Sometimes, unexpected doors and opportunities come to us in places we least expect.
So, when the odds come up, please don’t give up, just gear up to the challenge and understand the inherent lessons life wants you to learn because at the end of the day, though times never last, tough people do.
In conclusion, never allow the odds of life to define you; rather, use it as a stepping stone to build a castle. That was exactly what I did when I was told I couldn’t succeed in the USA and when I was told I was a horrible writer. Against all odds, by the special grace of God, I was able to exceed expectations by publishing three books and appeared several times on television.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Four months after defecting from the Labour Party to the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC), the member representing Oredo federal constituency in the House of Representatives, Engineer Esosa Iyawe, has resigned from the party,
The lawmaker said, “It is imperative to state that this decision is a result of the irreconcilable difference between me and my Governor, His Excellency, Senator Monday Okpebholo, the Governor of Edo State.”
Iyawe, who joined the APC on December 20, 2025, announced his resignation in a letter dated May 6, 2026, addressed to the APC Ward Chairman in Ward 1, Oredo federal constituency, Edo state.
In the letter, the federal lawmaker also withdrew his interest in contesting the 2027 House of Representatives election under the APC platform.
“I hereby withdraw my expression of interest to contest for the position of House of Representatives in the 2027 general elections and to resign from the All Progressives Congress (APC), effective immediately,” the letter read in part.
Iyawe appreciated the party for the opportunity to serve and for the experiences gained during his membership, but stated that personal and political considerations informed his decision to leave.
He further disclosed plans to pitch his tent with another political platform, the Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC), noting that the move aligned with his political convictions and aspirations.
Spokesman for the APC in Edo state, Barrister Peter Uwadiae-Igbinigie, said the lawmaker’s claim of dumping the party was “far from correct,” insisting that the party remained united and well-organised under the leadership of Monday Okpebholo.
He added that the growing number of politicians defecting to the APC was evidence of the party’s strong structure and popularity in the state.
