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Food for Living: Stress and the Path to Success

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By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Destiny Friends,

Nobody who is immune to stress. It’s a phenomenon that affects everyone. While some work perfectly under stress, some are allergic to stress. It is a component of life everyone will have to deal irrespective of status or circumstance. It can’t be avoided. I personally equate stress like ladies; it is the “necessary evil” one can’t avoid.

According to the American Institute of Stress, job stress costs U.S. businesses over $300 billion annually due to absenteeism, reduced productivity, medical bills, and employee turnover. Beyond the numbers are real people, who otherwise are talented and capable, but running empty.

Psychologists define stress as the gap between demand and capacity.
When life’s demands exceed your internal capacity, stress multiplies. And prolonged stress leads to burnout, which is an emotional and psychological collapse characterized by fatigue, cynicism, and reduced performance.

But stress itself is not inherently harmful. In fact, manageable levels of stress can sharpen focus, strengthen problem-solving, and increase motivation. What destroys us is chronic, unmanaged stress, the kind that slowly kills focus, health, and happiness.

The American Psychological Association warns that chronic stress weakens immunity, disturbs sleep cycles, raises blood pressure, disrupts hormones, and accelerates aging. In the emotional realm, it heightens irritability, confusion, forgetfulness, and reactivity.

Stress comes to us in different ways, it can come from work, school, family, personal, spiritual or even psychological. This stress can come either directly or indirectly.

Stress is not as bad as people perceive it to be. We all experience stress, but the ultimate difference is how we process and manage it. Stress can be positive or negative. When stress is positive, it prepares one for the future, but when it is negative, it affects one’s mental health and drains one.

When we talk of stress of success, in literal terms, it means the process and the associated journey of failures, disappointments, betrayals, challenges, setbacks, frustrations, etc. that one must undergo to succeed. Most times, some people just think it is easier to succeed just because one has a good product or service, life doesn’t really work that way, sometimes, one might do all he/she is supposed to do and still fail.

From personal experience, I have literally failed more than I have succeeded. Most times, people just see one result of success and don’t see hundreds of rejections and failures. Well, is it true that nobody rewards effort, rather people rewards results.

Before anyone attains a particular level of success, the person must have done a lot of work; sometimes, it will pay off, sometimes, it will serve as a learning tool or experience. In all, one will have to undergo stress.

As an author of three books, I know what it means to research and write enriching information that can shape the lives of people. The stress is not for the light mind. As a matter of fact, the stress of publishing a book is no joke. If one is not detailed and patient enough, one might lose their mind.

Also, as a business owner, I know what it means to manage people and resources. My late mother will always say human beings are the most difficult people to manage. Human beings can be stressful to relate with, sometimes, one will have to imagine they are reasoning like normal human beings, or they need some form of support.

As an author and business owner, I understood quite early the importance of human relationships and networking. I know fully well, one can’t do it alone, and as such, one need people to succeed. That singular knowledge and insight made me invest, build and nurture a solid relationship which has grown over a period.

When most people see me and the impacts of my work, some think I’m lucky, blessed or have access to the rich and mighty, but what they fail understand how many times I have failed, neither also will they understand how much I have invested  in the relationship either through their family, family, advisors, assistants, or domestic staff.

I recently shared a post on social media where I informed my tribe about a statement from one of my most revered mentors. He said to me, “Henry, you give to us, more than we give to you”. What that statement entails in a lay man’s knowledge is that I have stressed myself both financially and morally for their benefit. You can imagine if tomorrow one of them decides to stretch his hand to give me an opportunity either as a referral or appointment, someone will think, I’m lucky, but they won’t know I have stressed and invested so much in building my self to get that opportunity.

The big question now is, how does one  manage the stress of life?

Managing stress requires practical and intentional effort. Some strategies include:

1. Emotional Self-Awareness

Emotional regulation starts with recognition. Naming what you feel, whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration or fear, restores your control. Psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel calls this the “name it to tame it” principle.

2. Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. Boundaries define what you can allow without breaking yourself. You cannot pour from an empty vessel, and you cannot be available to everyone without eventually losing yourself. Boundaries safeguard your energy and preserve your emotional balance.

3. Intentional Rest

Rest is a strategy that is as important as work itself. Burnout rarely comes from working too hard; it comes from working too long without recovery.

4. Monitor What You Consume

Your emotional diet shapes your mental state. Toxic conversations, constant bad news, cynical media, and negative environments trigger anxiety and fear. On the other hand, a steady diet of inspiration, learning, uplifting conversations, and emotional support strengthens resilience.

5. Seek Support Early

There’s nothing wrong in seeking professional help when you feel overwhelmed. In fact, talking with a professional or a trusted figure is a courageous acknowledgment that the mind deserves care. Even therapists sometimes have their own therapists.

Taking Control of Your Emotions

One of the greatest marks of emotional maturity is understanding that your emotions are yours to govern. This principle of emotional responsibility is common in psychology and spiritual disciplines.

Too often, people allow other people’s actions to dictate their emotions and attitude to life. Someone’s rudeness, delay or negativity may ruin their day. But emotional stability begins when you reclaim the remote control of your inner life. As Eleanor Roosevelt rightly observed, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Weed Out Worry

Worry is one of the subtle ways we harm ourselves emotionally. It may seem like we’re being responsible, like we’re “thinking things through,” but in reality, worry saps the very energy we need to handle life.

When worry becomes a habit, it slowly affects every part of one’s life. It increases anxiety and makes it harder to focus. It twists our view of reality and exaggerates problems, making small issues feel overwhelming. Most of all, worry steals joy from the present moment. Your body may be here, but your mind is drowned in tomorrow’s fears or yesterday’s regrets.

Jesus asked a powerful question: “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit unto his stature?” (Matthew 6:27). In other words, what has worry ever improved? Modern psychology agrees with this wisdom. Studies show that constant worrying keeps the brain in a state of alarm, raising stress levels and shutting down clear thinking. Instead of helping you solve problems, worry makes you feel stuck and powerless.

A helpful way to think about worry is to see it as mental garbage. Just as cities must clear rubbish daily to remain healthy, the mind also needs regular clearing. When fears, negative thoughts, and imagined disasters pile up in our minds, they destroy our peace and willpower.

Let me suggest this. At the end of each day, imagine placing your worries into an “inner trash can.” Picture yourself letting go of unfinished tasks, painful thoughts, and fears about tomorrow. You are not ignoring them; you are choosing rest. Research shows that this kind of intentional mental release calms the brain and reduces stress.

Conquer Anxiety with Faith and Inner Stability

Anxiety is your mind worrying about what might happen, and your body reacting as if it’s happening right now.  It can come from loss, grief, money problems, broken relationships, loneliness, or painful experiences. But anxiety also grows strongest where faith is weak or missing. As Dr. Yomi Garnett once said, “When faith ends, anxiety begins.”

Interestingly, psychology supports this idea. Many mental health approaches agree that what we believe affects how we feel. Our thoughts influence our emotions. The way we explain events to ourselves affects our stress levels. Faith offers a healthier way to interpret life; it replaces hopelessness with expectation and fear with trust.

In summary, the earlier we learn to manage stress, the better we’ll succeed in life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Food for Living: Be a Person of Influence

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Everyone loves influence. Everyone wants to be a person of influence. Everyone wants to be relevant. Everyone wants to be celebrated. Everyone likes attention, appreciation, approval, and admiration. All these are products of influence.

The question I need you to ask yourself is, are you a person of influence? Are you influencing anyone? Do you have a positive or negative influence on your children, spouse, friends, mentors/mentee, or even strangers? Take a minute to listen to yourself.

When we talk about influence, uninformed minds just think influence is only about money, power, authority, or even being a mentor. Influence is far from it. We are all influencers in one way or another. Many people have influenced us in different ways, some positive, some negative. Similarly, we have also influenced many people in good and bad ways.

But today, I’m here to share with you what influence is about and the positive ways one can be a person of influence. Influence comes in different ways: as a politician, you are influencing people; as a leader, you are influencing policy; as a youth advocate, mentor, teacher, pastor, and employee, you are influencing somebody in one way or the other.

Do you know you can influence someone with your lifestyle? Yes, the way you talk, write, lead, dress, eat, exercise, preach the word of God, do your job, serve people, train your children, etc., are all part of influence. Influence is powerful. It has a way of permeating someone without them knowing.  I believe that’s why my late mother would always say, if you are hanging out with a friend, only take the good part and leave the bad part.

We currently live in the 21st century, where the internet leads. The internet is regarded as the fifth estate for a reason, because it empowers networked individuals and alternative media to hold traditional institutions, governments, and mainstream media accountable. Everyone and almost everything is on the internet; however, sometimes, the information we get on the internet is regarded as fake because it’s unverified.

In some quarters, the internet has been regarded as a bad influence on the younger generation because of the limited restrictions and the negative information it has exposed their minds to think in a particular way. Some other schools of thought have opined that the internet has done more good than harm due to the knowledge it has exposed their minds to, as opposed to the information being peddled by some other schools of thought. Regardless of the aisle one belongs to, the internet truly has its pros and cons, especially as it relates to influence.

The big question one needs to answer is what influence is. According to Nosakhare Tune Oni – A Pan-African Strategist, leadership and business coach, “influence is when people trust your judgment enough to act on it. It is when someone calls you before making an important decision. When your recommendation opens a door. When your name carries weight in a room, you’re not even in. When people are willing to put their reputation behind yours. That’s influence.

Let’s take a minute to dwell on those lines again. Has anyone played any of such roles in your life? If yes, that’s the best definition of influence in a nutshell.  Influence is not about quantity, but quality.   The quality of people in your life is more valuable than the quantity of people one’s life. Do you know we don’t really need battalions of friends, whether online or in person, but just one person of influence can be a game-changer. According to Les Brown, a leadership coach, we need only quality people.

Do you know we are everywhere and nowhere at the same time? Do you also know that we can be everywhere and still have very little influence? Influence is about knowing your value and the right people who appreciate the value you bring. Do you know one can be a person of value to the wrong person or audience?

Influence is about having followers who believe and follow your teaching. We can have visibility with little or no influence. One may have 100,000 followers. We may trend on Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, LinkedIn, or even WhatsApp. Your name is a household name.  That is visibility.

Let me give you a practical example. If you have a large crowd of people following you online or in person. The critical question one must ask oneself is: why are they following me? Are they following me because of my ideology, my talent/gift, academic process, position, profession, vocation, skill, or jokes? If they follow you because of the ideology you represent, you are a person of influence. If they are following you because of your jokes, you may be a content creator or comedian with little or no value in influencing them to do or not do certain things. Real influence provokes action.

According to Nosakhare Tune Oni, influence is built differently from attention. Attention can be bought. Influence must be earned. You can manufacture visibility with advertising, controversy, or constant posting. But you cannot manufacture trust that easily. It comes from consistently being useful. Keeping your word. Knowing what you’re talking about. Showing up when it matters. Building relationships before you need them.
And creating value for people without constantly asking, “What’s in it for me?”

Do you know a person with 1,000 followers and deep trust within a particular industry may have more real influence than someone with 100,000 followers who nobody listens to.  So, I don’t think the goal should simply be: “How many people know me?” A better question is: “How much does my presence actually change things?” Because visibility gets you noticed. Value gets you remembered. Trust gets you listened to, but influence is what happens when people trust your value enough to move.

As I prepare to conclude, please take a minute to ask yourself: are you a person of influence? Do you have influence? What positive influence have you had on people or anyone? Today, I want you to be a man/lady of influence like Martin Luther King Jnr, Mother Theresea, Evangelist Ebuka Obi, President Nelson Mandela, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Dr. Kola Adesina, Dr. Joe Abah, Dr. Dele Momodu, Barr. Henry Ukazu and Miss Ginika Dike.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to SuccessUnleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Abia @35: Okonjo-Iweala Hails Otti’s Reforms

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The Director-General (D-G) of World Trade Organisation (WTO), Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, has commended Governor Alex Otti for the reforms she said are strengthening Abia State’s financial sustainability and driving economic transformation.

Okonjo-Iweala, who spoke in a virtual goodwill message at the 35th anniversary lecture marking the creation of Abia State, also urged the government to develop the “Made in Aba” label into a globally recognised brand.

The anniversary lecture under the theme, “The Rise of a New Abia,” was held on Wednesday at the International Conference Centre, Umuahia.

The WTO D-G said the Otti administration has increased internally generated revenue (IGR), reduced the State’s dependence on Federation Account allocations and prioritised capital expenditure.

She also noted the State’s investments in infrastructure and improved electricity supply, as well as the settlement of inherited salary and pension arrears and reduction of its debt burden.

While acknowledging that more work remains to be done, Okonjo-Iweala expressed optimism that Abia could harness its potential to create jobs, prosperity and dignity for its people.

She said improved infrastructure, supportive policies and strategic investments in high-potential sectors could position the state within national, regional and global value chains.

Okonjo-Iweala specifically urged the government to build “Made in Aba” into a globally recognised brand while strengthening Umuahia as a light manufacturing and administrative centre.

Also speaking, the keynote speaker and former Minister of Aviation, Chief Osita Chidoka, said there was visible evidence of development in Abia since Otti assumed office in 2023.

Chidoka, however, said the ultimate test of the administration would be whether it could move Abia from having a capable governor to building a capable and sustainable state.

He said Otti’s emphasis on education is consistent with convictions he had expressed long before becoming governor, particularly in his 2014 book, Saving the Future.

Chidoka commended the consistent appropriation of 20 per cent of the State’s annual budget to education and expressed optimism that Abia could eventually become a reference point for good governance.

Meanwhile, Otti apologised to the Abia State University, Uturu (ABSU), community over the delayed implementation of approved demands by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU), which resulted in the union’s recent strike.

The governor described the strike as avoidable and warned that “heads will roll” if such bureaucratic lapses recur.

Otti said the demands presented by ASUU-ABSU were legitimate and had been approved by him months earlier, but expressed concern that the approval had not been implemented.

“ASUU went on strike about a week or two ago in Abia State University, Uturu. Their requests came to me. I looked at those requests, and they were legitimate requests, and I approved them.

“But months later, I’m not saying weeks, months later, I was to be told that, yes, you have approved. But it had not been implemented.

“So, I want to, on this podium, apologise to Abia State University as well. That strike was avoidable. And I’ve told my people, if it happens again, heads will roll,” Otti said.

The governor congratulated Abians on the state’s 35th anniversary, stressing that governance was not about an individual but about building sustainable institutions and improving on existing foundations.

He reiterated his commitment to education, explaining that his administration’s decision to abolish school fees, including in the state’s smart schools, was driven by his long-standing belief in the transformative power of education.

In a vote of thanks, the Commissioner for Information, Prince Okey Kanu, called for the cooperation and support of Abians in sustaining what he described as the “rise of a New Abia.”

The event attracted members of the National Assembly, members of the State Executive Council, traditional rulers, members of the clergy and other dignitaries.

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Adron Group Partners Niger Foods to Bridge Real Estate, Agriculture Gap

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Chairman/GCEO of Adron Group, Aare Adetola Emmanuelking, has paid a strategic visit to the Niger Foods Breeding and Feedlot Center to explore a landmark agricultural partnership. The move is aimed at transforming Nigeria’s agricultural landscape and expanding opportunities within the nation’s agribusiness value chain.

The engagement between the two organisations focused on unlocking vast opportunities in the livestock industry and exploring the establishment of specialised Adron Farm Estates across Niger State, with the Center positioned to play a strategic facilitation role in the proposed collaboration.

Adron Homes and Properties, widely recognised as one of Nigeria’s foremost real estate development companies, has built a strong reputation for delivering secure, affordable and premium housing developments across the country. Through this proposed initiative, the Group is set to extend its proven expertise in structured estate development into the agricultural sector.

The proposed Adron Farm Estates are envisioned as purpose-built agricultural communities, providing structured, secure and infrastructure-driven land layouts designed to support commercial farming, livestock production and agro-processing.

During a tour of the Niger Foods Breeding and Feedlot Center, discussions between the leadership of Adron Group and the Center highlighted the critical role of modern infrastructure and structured development in addressing the challenges of Nigeria’s fragmented agricultural market system.

The proposed collaboration seeks to combine Adron Group’s extensive experience in land development and infrastructure with the agricultural expertise, livestock production capacity and market development experience of the Niger Foods Breeding and Feedlot Center, with the objective of creating a new and sustainable model for agricultural development.

Beyond enhancing food production and unlocking new opportunities in livestock and agribusiness, the initiative is expected to stimulate rural development, create employment opportunities, attract investment and strengthen the agricultural value chain across Niger State.

The collaboration between Adron Group and the Niger Foods Breeding and Feedlot Center also holds the potential to position Niger State as a major hub for integrated agricultural and real estate development, while demonstrating how strategic partnerships between the real estate and agricultural sectors can unlock new possibilities for economic growth and national development.

As discussions between both organisations progress, the proposed partnership represents another bold step by Adron Group towards exploring innovative development models that respond to emerging opportunities, create sustainable communities and contribute meaningfully to Nigeria’s economic transformation.

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