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Food for Living: Stress and the Path to Success
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Destiny Friends,
Nobody who is immune to stress. It’s a phenomenon that affects everyone. While some work perfectly under stress, some are allergic to stress. It is a component of life everyone will have to deal irrespective of status or circumstance. It can’t be avoided. I personally equate stress like ladies; it is the “necessary evil” one can’t avoid.
According to the American Institute of Stress, job stress costs U.S. businesses over $300 billion annually due to absenteeism, reduced productivity, medical bills, and employee turnover. Beyond the numbers are real people, who otherwise are talented and capable, but running empty.
Psychologists define stress as the gap between demand and capacity.
When life’s demands exceed your internal capacity, stress multiplies. And prolonged stress leads to burnout, which is an emotional and psychological collapse characterized by fatigue, cynicism, and reduced performance.
But stress itself is not inherently harmful. In fact, manageable levels of stress can sharpen focus, strengthen problem-solving, and increase motivation. What destroys us is chronic, unmanaged stress, the kind that slowly kills focus, health, and happiness.
The American Psychological Association warns that chronic stress weakens immunity, disturbs sleep cycles, raises blood pressure, disrupts hormones, and accelerates aging. In the emotional realm, it heightens irritability, confusion, forgetfulness, and reactivity.
Stress comes to us in different ways, it can come from work, school, family, personal, spiritual or even psychological. This stress can come either directly or indirectly.
Stress is not as bad as people perceive it to be. We all experience stress, but the ultimate difference is how we process and manage it. Stress can be positive or negative. When stress is positive, it prepares one for the future, but when it is negative, it affects one’s mental health and drains one.
When we talk of stress of success, in literal terms, it means the process and the associated journey of failures, disappointments, betrayals, challenges, setbacks, frustrations, etc. that one must undergo to succeed. Most times, some people just think it is easier to succeed just because one has a good product or service, life doesn’t really work that way, sometimes, one might do all he/she is supposed to do and still fail.
From personal experience, I have literally failed more than I have succeeded. Most times, people just see one result of success and don’t see hundreds of rejections and failures. Well, is it true that nobody rewards effort, rather people rewards results.
Before anyone attains a particular level of success, the person must have done a lot of work; sometimes, it will pay off, sometimes, it will serve as a learning tool or experience. In all, one will have to undergo stress.
As an author of three books, I know what it means to research and write enriching information that can shape the lives of people. The stress is not for the light mind. As a matter of fact, the stress of publishing a book is no joke. If one is not detailed and patient enough, one might lose their mind.
Also, as a business owner, I know what it means to manage people and resources. My late mother will always say human beings are the most difficult people to manage. Human beings can be stressful to relate with, sometimes, one will have to imagine they are reasoning like normal human beings, or they need some form of support.
As an author and business owner, I understood quite early the importance of human relationships and networking. I know fully well, one can’t do it alone, and as such, one need people to succeed. That singular knowledge and insight made me invest, build and nurture a solid relationship which has grown over a period.
When most people see me and the impacts of my work, some think I’m lucky, blessed or have access to the rich and mighty, but what they fail understand how many times I have failed, neither also will they understand how much I have invested in the relationship either through their family, family, advisors, assistants, or domestic staff.
I recently shared a post on social media where I informed my tribe about a statement from one of my most revered mentors. He said to me, “Henry, you give to us, more than we give to you”. What that statement entails in a lay man’s knowledge is that I have stressed myself both financially and morally for their benefit. You can imagine if tomorrow one of them decides to stretch his hand to give me an opportunity either as a referral or appointment, someone will think, I’m lucky, but they won’t know I have stressed and invested so much in building my self to get that opportunity.
The big question now is, how does one manage the stress of life?
Managing stress requires practical and intentional effort. Some strategies include:
1. Emotional Self-Awareness
Emotional regulation starts with recognition. Naming what you feel, whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration or fear, restores your control. Psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel calls this the “name it to tame it” principle.
2. Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. Boundaries define what you can allow without breaking yourself. You cannot pour from an empty vessel, and you cannot be available to everyone without eventually losing yourself. Boundaries safeguard your energy and preserve your emotional balance.
3. Intentional Rest
Rest is a strategy that is as important as work itself. Burnout rarely comes from working too hard; it comes from working too long without recovery.
4. Monitor What You Consume
Your emotional diet shapes your mental state. Toxic conversations, constant bad news, cynical media, and negative environments trigger anxiety and fear. On the other hand, a steady diet of inspiration, learning, uplifting conversations, and emotional support strengthens resilience.
5. Seek Support Early
There’s nothing wrong in seeking professional help when you feel overwhelmed. In fact, talking with a professional or a trusted figure is a courageous acknowledgment that the mind deserves care. Even therapists sometimes have their own therapists.
Taking Control of Your Emotions
One of the greatest marks of emotional maturity is understanding that your emotions are yours to govern. This principle of emotional responsibility is common in psychology and spiritual disciplines.
Too often, people allow other people’s actions to dictate their emotions and attitude to life. Someone’s rudeness, delay or negativity may ruin their day. But emotional stability begins when you reclaim the remote control of your inner life. As Eleanor Roosevelt rightly observed, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Weed Out Worry
Worry is one of the subtle ways we harm ourselves emotionally. It may seem like we’re being responsible, like we’re “thinking things through,” but in reality, worry saps the very energy we need to handle life.
When worry becomes a habit, it slowly affects every part of one’s life. It increases anxiety and makes it harder to focus. It twists our view of reality and exaggerates problems, making small issues feel overwhelming. Most of all, worry steals joy from the present moment. Your body may be here, but your mind is drowned in tomorrow’s fears or yesterday’s regrets.
Jesus asked a powerful question: “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit unto his stature?” (Matthew 6:27). In other words, what has worry ever improved? Modern psychology agrees with this wisdom. Studies show that constant worrying keeps the brain in a state of alarm, raising stress levels and shutting down clear thinking. Instead of helping you solve problems, worry makes you feel stuck and powerless.
A helpful way to think about worry is to see it as mental garbage. Just as cities must clear rubbish daily to remain healthy, the mind also needs regular clearing. When fears, negative thoughts, and imagined disasters pile up in our minds, they destroy our peace and willpower.
Let me suggest this. At the end of each day, imagine placing your worries into an “inner trash can.” Picture yourself letting go of unfinished tasks, painful thoughts, and fears about tomorrow. You are not ignoring them; you are choosing rest. Research shows that this kind of intentional mental release calms the brain and reduces stress.
Conquer Anxiety with Faith and Inner Stability
Anxiety is your mind worrying about what might happen, and your body reacting as if it’s happening right now. It can come from loss, grief, money problems, broken relationships, loneliness, or painful experiences. But anxiety also grows strongest where faith is weak or missing. As Dr. Yomi Garnett once said, “When faith ends, anxiety begins.”
Interestingly, psychology supports this idea. Many mental health approaches agree that what we believe affects how we feel. Our thoughts influence our emotions. The way we explain events to ourselves affects our stress levels. Faith offers a healthier way to interpret life; it replaces hopelessness with expectation and fear with trust.
In summary, the earlier we learn to manage stress, the better we’ll succeed in life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Minister of Police Affairs, Ibrahim Gaidam, has expressed deep satisfaction with the conduct of the ongoing recruitment exercises for its orderly and transparent nature across the country.
He made the commendation, according to a statement made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP), while receiving feedback from filed officers across the country and described the process as not just a routine exercise, but a critical step toward rebuilding public trust and enhancing the operational capacity of the Nigeria Police Force.
The Minister urged all participants to remain law-abiding, disciplined, and patient throughout the screening process. He emphasized that integrity and respect for due process are as important as physical and academic qualifications, noting that the future of policing in Nigeria depends largely on the character and commitment of those who wear the uniform.
“This is more than recruitment; it is a call to national service,” he stated. “Nigeria needs men and women of honor, individuals who understand that security is the foundation upon which development and prosperity are built.” Gaidam stressed.
The Minister also extended heartfelt appreciation to the administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu GCFR for its bold and strategic approval of the recruitment of 50,000 police personnel.
He stressed that the unprecedented move demonstrates a clear resolve to address longstanding gaps in manpower while repositioning the Police Force to meet modern security challenges, just as he noted that beyond numbers, the current administration is focused on meaningful reform—transforming policing into a more professional, accountable, and citizen-centered institution.
Gaidam stated that from improved training frameworks to enhanced welfare and operational support, the reform agenda signals a new era for law enforcement in Nigeria.
The Minister noted that the ongoing recruitment exercise, therefore, stands as a symbol of renewed hope—a bridge between the present challenges and a future where communities feel safer, justice is more accessible, and the rule of law is upheld without compromise.
As the screening continues across the nation, the Minister called on all stakeholders—traditional leaders, community members, and institutions, to support the process and encourage eligible youths to participate with sincerity and patriotism.
“Nigeria’s path to a safer, more secure future is being steadily strengthened through deliberate reforms and renewed commitment to nation-building noting that at the heart of this progress is the ongoing nationwide police recruitment screening exercise, an initiative that reflects both hope and responsibility for thousands of young Nigerians,” the Minister concluded.
Presidential spokesperson, Mr. Bayo Onanuga, has launched a scathing attack on Rauf Aregbesola following the latter’s criticism of President Bola Tinubu’s administration.
The exchange comes hours after Aregbesola, while speaking at the convention of the African Democratic Congress (ADC) on Tuesday, described the Tinubu administration as a government of “scammers”, urging Nigerians to block it from retaining power after the 2027 general elections.
“If allowed, this regime will continue to chant renewed hope till eternity. We have a duty to stop these scammers from retaining power,” Aregbesola said.
In a swift response, Onanuga dismissed the remarks and accused the former Governor of Osun State of hypocrisy and poor performance during his time in office.
“My attention has been drawn to Rauf Aregbesola’s attack on the Tinubu administration at today’s illegal elective convention of the ADC — a party of desperados and power mongers who, to date, have not articulated any credible plan for Nigeria,” he said.
Onanuga further criticised Aregbesola for failing to reflect on his own record before attacking his “former boss and benefactor.”
“Unfortunately, Aregbesola did not undertake any honest self-reflection on his own record in public office — as governor or as Minister of Interior,” he stated.
He alleged that Aregbesola’s tenure as governor of Osun State was marked by hardship and poor economic management.
“His eight years as governor of Osun State were characterised by unmitigated hardship for the people. Under his half-baked socialist policies, civil servants went unpaid for months, and those who were paid received only a fraction of their salaries,” Onanuga said.
“It is to Aregbesola’s infamy that Osun became known as a State receiving negative federal allocation and paying just 20 to 30 per cent of normal salaries. It was worse for pensioners in Aregbesola’s Osun State. Many pensioners who relied on their meagre monthly payments died because they were not paid at all.”
Turning to Aregbesola’s tenure as Minister of Interior under former President Muhammadu Buhari, Onanuga said it recorded major security lapses.
“As Minister of Interior under President Muhammadu Buhari, his tenure witnessed the highest number of jailbreaks in Nigeria’s history — including the infamous Kuje Prison escape in Abuja,” he said.
“During his four years, obtaining a Nigerian passport became a nightmarish process, and there were 15 major attacks on correctional facilities in Jos, Abolongo, Imo, Kabba, and Okitipupa, resulting in over 4,000 inmates escaping to join criminal elements.”
Onanuga added, “For someone who failed so woefully to secure our correctional centres and uphold his duties between 2019 and 2023, it is ironic that Aregbesola now seeks to lecture others on insecurity.”
He further accused Aregbesola and other ADC leaders of lacking credible policy alternatives stating, “The real scammers are the politicians inside the SPV called ADC.”
Defending the current administration, Onanuga said the government had acknowledged challenges arising from reforms but was implementing measures to mitigate their impact.
“The Tinubu administration has never shied away from acknowledging that policy reforms have brought unintended consequences, impacting the most vulnerable,” he said, adding that efforts such as wage increases, social support programmes, and economic reforms were underway.
He insisted that the administration’s Renewed Hope Agenda was yielding results, including improved economic indicators and increased investor confidence.
“The Renewed Hope Agenda is not a scam,” Onanuga said, maintaining that the government would continue its policies to stabilise the economy and address security challenges.
Senator representing Borno South Senatorial District, Ali Ndume, has argued that Nigeria’s lingering insecurity could be decisively tackled within six months if the Federal government demonstrates sufficient commitment.
Ndume stated this on Monday during an interview on Channels Television’s Politics Today programme, where he expressed concern over the recent escalation of violence, particularly in the North-East.
The lawmaker stressed that beyond complaints, what is required is decisive action and political will.
“It is not about complaining. It is not about asking somebody like me as a senator to say why these things. I always believe that if the President and the Federal Government of Nigeria are serious about this, we can end this thing (insecurity) in six months.
“All we need is to train our soldiers, equip them, arm them very well, and then motivate them,” Ndume said.
The senator lamented the continued loss of military personnel, including senior officers, noting that such incidents highlight deeper operational challenges.
“After killing their commanders, they now come back to kill our commanders and they are still taking about five, six, or even seven. Even today, around Northern Borno, we lost a colonel, I understand, with some soldiers. This should not continue. This is now the problem,” he said.
Ndume also attributed the worsening security situation to inconsistent and incomplete implementation of security strategies.
“The escalating security situation has really been enhanced by the challenge and the threat, and the actions that have been taken that have never been completely done. We have to be very serious about this matter; we have to walk the talk.”
Speaking on the issue of foreign support, the lawmaker emphasised the need for intelligence, technology, and specialised expertise rather than relying on external forces.
“What we need is intelligence. What we need is air support. We also need the expertise of those that are specialists. We even have some that were trained outside, special forces. We have capable hands already on the ground; all they need is equipment, ammunition, and motivation.
“We do not have enough drones. Look at what Burkina Faso is doing, it is technology. We can use technology to finish or minimise these things within the shortest possible time. If you deploy drones and have trained people to operate them, with proper command centres, we can achieve results,” he said.
The Borno South senator further noted that Borno State would have suffered greater devastation without the efforts of Governor Babagana Zulum and commended his interventions in stabilising parts of the State.
Ndume’s comments come amid renewed security concerns in the North-East and across Nigeria.
A recent airstrike at Jilli Market along the Yobe–Borno border on Saturday has come under scrutiny over reported civilian casualties.
The Nigerian Air Force said the strike targeted suspected Boko Haram insurgents and that it is investigating reported civilian casualties.
While casualty figures remain unclear, several deaths and injuries were reported, with victims receiving treatment in nearby facilities.
The incident also followed a deadly attack on Thursday on a military formation in Benisheikh, where troops repelled insurgents but suffered casualties.
Security challenges, including banditry, kidnappings, and communal clashes, persist nationwide.
Meanwhile, President Bola Tinubu, during a recent visit to Bayelsa State, reaffirmed his administration’s commitment to strengthening Nigeria’s security architecture.
Earlier, the United States Department of State had issued travel advisories and begun reducing its staff presence in Abuja. Federal government, however, described it as a routine precaution and not a reflection the country’s security situation.
