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Food for Living: Stress and the Path to Success

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By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Destiny Friends,

Nobody who is immune to stress. It’s a phenomenon that affects everyone. While some work perfectly under stress, some are allergic to stress. It is a component of life everyone will have to deal irrespective of status or circumstance. It can’t be avoided. I personally equate stress like ladies; it is the “necessary evil” one can’t avoid.

According to the American Institute of Stress, job stress costs U.S. businesses over $300 billion annually due to absenteeism, reduced productivity, medical bills, and employee turnover. Beyond the numbers are real people, who otherwise are talented and capable, but running empty.

Psychologists define stress as the gap between demand and capacity.
When life’s demands exceed your internal capacity, stress multiplies. And prolonged stress leads to burnout, which is an emotional and psychological collapse characterized by fatigue, cynicism, and reduced performance.

But stress itself is not inherently harmful. In fact, manageable levels of stress can sharpen focus, strengthen problem-solving, and increase motivation. What destroys us is chronic, unmanaged stress, the kind that slowly kills focus, health, and happiness.

The American Psychological Association warns that chronic stress weakens immunity, disturbs sleep cycles, raises blood pressure, disrupts hormones, and accelerates aging. In the emotional realm, it heightens irritability, confusion, forgetfulness, and reactivity.

Stress comes to us in different ways, it can come from work, school, family, personal, spiritual or even psychological. This stress can come either directly or indirectly.

Stress is not as bad as people perceive it to be. We all experience stress, but the ultimate difference is how we process and manage it. Stress can be positive or negative. When stress is positive, it prepares one for the future, but when it is negative, it affects one’s mental health and drains one.

When we talk of stress of success, in literal terms, it means the process and the associated journey of failures, disappointments, betrayals, challenges, setbacks, frustrations, etc. that one must undergo to succeed. Most times, some people just think it is easier to succeed just because one has a good product or service, life doesn’t really work that way, sometimes, one might do all he/she is supposed to do and still fail.

From personal experience, I have literally failed more than I have succeeded. Most times, people just see one result of success and don’t see hundreds of rejections and failures. Well, is it true that nobody rewards effort, rather people rewards results.

Before anyone attains a particular level of success, the person must have done a lot of work; sometimes, it will pay off, sometimes, it will serve as a learning tool or experience. In all, one will have to undergo stress.

As an author of three books, I know what it means to research and write enriching information that can shape the lives of people. The stress is not for the light mind. As a matter of fact, the stress of publishing a book is no joke. If one is not detailed and patient enough, one might lose their mind.

Also, as a business owner, I know what it means to manage people and resources. My late mother will always say human beings are the most difficult people to manage. Human beings can be stressful to relate with, sometimes, one will have to imagine they are reasoning like normal human beings, or they need some form of support.

As an author and business owner, I understood quite early the importance of human relationships and networking. I know fully well, one can’t do it alone, and as such, one need people to succeed. That singular knowledge and insight made me invest, build and nurture a solid relationship which has grown over a period.

When most people see me and the impacts of my work, some think I’m lucky, blessed or have access to the rich and mighty, but what they fail understand how many times I have failed, neither also will they understand how much I have invested  in the relationship either through their family, family, advisors, assistants, or domestic staff.

I recently shared a post on social media where I informed my tribe about a statement from one of my most revered mentors. He said to me, “Henry, you give to us, more than we give to you”. What that statement entails in a lay man’s knowledge is that I have stressed myself both financially and morally for their benefit. You can imagine if tomorrow one of them decides to stretch his hand to give me an opportunity either as a referral or appointment, someone will think, I’m lucky, but they won’t know I have stressed and invested so much in building my self to get that opportunity.

The big question now is, how does one  manage the stress of life?

Managing stress requires practical and intentional effort. Some strategies include:

1. Emotional Self-Awareness

Emotional regulation starts with recognition. Naming what you feel, whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration or fear, restores your control. Psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel calls this the “name it to tame it” principle.

2. Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. Boundaries define what you can allow without breaking yourself. You cannot pour from an empty vessel, and you cannot be available to everyone without eventually losing yourself. Boundaries safeguard your energy and preserve your emotional balance.

3. Intentional Rest

Rest is a strategy that is as important as work itself. Burnout rarely comes from working too hard; it comes from working too long without recovery.

4. Monitor What You Consume

Your emotional diet shapes your mental state. Toxic conversations, constant bad news, cynical media, and negative environments trigger anxiety and fear. On the other hand, a steady diet of inspiration, learning, uplifting conversations, and emotional support strengthens resilience.

5. Seek Support Early

There’s nothing wrong in seeking professional help when you feel overwhelmed. In fact, talking with a professional or a trusted figure is a courageous acknowledgment that the mind deserves care. Even therapists sometimes have their own therapists.

Taking Control of Your Emotions

One of the greatest marks of emotional maturity is understanding that your emotions are yours to govern. This principle of emotional responsibility is common in psychology and spiritual disciplines.

Too often, people allow other people’s actions to dictate their emotions and attitude to life. Someone’s rudeness, delay or negativity may ruin their day. But emotional stability begins when you reclaim the remote control of your inner life. As Eleanor Roosevelt rightly observed, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Weed Out Worry

Worry is one of the subtle ways we harm ourselves emotionally. It may seem like we’re being responsible, like we’re “thinking things through,” but in reality, worry saps the very energy we need to handle life.

When worry becomes a habit, it slowly affects every part of one’s life. It increases anxiety and makes it harder to focus. It twists our view of reality and exaggerates problems, making small issues feel overwhelming. Most of all, worry steals joy from the present moment. Your body may be here, but your mind is drowned in tomorrow’s fears or yesterday’s regrets.

Jesus asked a powerful question: “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit unto his stature?” (Matthew 6:27). In other words, what has worry ever improved? Modern psychology agrees with this wisdom. Studies show that constant worrying keeps the brain in a state of alarm, raising stress levels and shutting down clear thinking. Instead of helping you solve problems, worry makes you feel stuck and powerless.

A helpful way to think about worry is to see it as mental garbage. Just as cities must clear rubbish daily to remain healthy, the mind also needs regular clearing. When fears, negative thoughts, and imagined disasters pile up in our minds, they destroy our peace and willpower.

Let me suggest this. At the end of each day, imagine placing your worries into an “inner trash can.” Picture yourself letting go of unfinished tasks, painful thoughts, and fears about tomorrow. You are not ignoring them; you are choosing rest. Research shows that this kind of intentional mental release calms the brain and reduces stress.

Conquer Anxiety with Faith and Inner Stability

Anxiety is your mind worrying about what might happen, and your body reacting as if it’s happening right now.  It can come from loss, grief, money problems, broken relationships, loneliness, or painful experiences. But anxiety also grows strongest where faith is weak or missing. As Dr. Yomi Garnett once said, “When faith ends, anxiety begins.”

Interestingly, psychology supports this idea. Many mental health approaches agree that what we believe affects how we feel. Our thoughts influence our emotions. The way we explain events to ourselves affects our stress levels. Faith offers a healthier way to interpret life; it replaces hopelessness with expectation and fear with trust.

In summary, the earlier we learn to manage stress, the better we’ll succeed in life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Tinubu Extends Europe Vacation, Due Back at Weekend

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President Bola Tinubu has extended his “working vacation” in Europe by a few days and is expected to return to Nigeria at the weekend, the Presidency said on Monday.

The announcement came as Vice President Kashim Shettima represents the President at the 81st United Nations General Assembly in New York, where he is scheduled to deliver Nigeria’s national statement.

Tinubu departed Nigeria on August 30 to begin his working vacation in London. After spending one week in the United Kingdom, he proceeded to Paris, France, where he held meetings with French President Emmanuel Macron and businessman Vincent Bolloré.

Bolloré’s media interests include Canal+, MultiChoice and Universal Music Group.

A statement signed on Monday by Bayo Onanuga, Special Adviser to the President on Information and Strategy, said Tinubu has remains in touch with developments at home and continued to direct the affairs of government despite being away from Nigeria.

One of the major decisions taken by the President during the period was his directive for an independent investigation into the deaths of 37 suspected illegal miners in Minna following their detention by the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps.

The deaths had raised concerns over the circumstances surrounding the detention and treatment of the miners, prompting the President to order an independent probe.

Tinubu’s decision to extend his stay abroad means he will not personally attend the opening of the high-level segment of the UN General Assembly in New York. Shettima, who departed Abuja on September 20, is representing the President at the global gathering and will present Nigeria’s national statement.

The Presidency said the Vice President’s representation was part of the arrangements for Tinubu’s absence from the country.

With Shettima now in New York, the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Senator George Akume, will continue to represent the President at some official functions.

The Presidency said Tinubu had also delegated the Vice President to represent him at official functions while he was away, while Akume had similarly stepped in at other engagements.

The President’s extended stay in Europe also comes amid increased political activities at home ahead of the 2027 general elections.

According to the Presidency, the Director-General of the Presidential Campaign Council, Senator Abubakar Yari, has been leading notable leaders of the ruling party in consultations with prominent traditional rulers across the country.

The consultations form part of ongoing political engagements as the administration moves towards the next electoral cycle.

The Presidency also reacted strongly to criticism over Tinubu’s decision not to attend the UN General Assembly personally.

It described as irresponsible what it called a “baseless insinuation” by former Vice President Atiku Abubakar and a United States-based lobbying firm headed by an ex-convict regarding the President’s non-attendance at the global gathering.

The Presidency maintained that Nigeria would be adequately represented by Shettima, who will deliver the country’s national statement.

Tinubu’s latest trip began as an official working vacation, during which the President combined his leave with selected diplomatic, business and governmental engagements.

His meeting with Macron in Paris provided an opportunity for discussions on bilateral relations, while his engagement with Bolloré focused on business and investment interests involving Nigeria.

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Let Nigerians Breathe, Reduce Fuel Price, Atiku Tells Tinubu

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Former Vice President Atiku Abubakar has urged President Bola Tinubu to take immediate steps to reduce the cost of petrol, saying Nigerians are struggling with the combined impact of high energy, transportation and food prices.

Atiku made the call on Friday in Abuja during a press briefing on fuel prices, palliatives and the rising cost of living. His comments came amid renewed concerns over the effect of higher petrol prices on households and businesses.

The African Democratic Congress (ADC) presidential candidate said the removal of petrol subsidy in May 2023 placed additional pressure on families, workers, farmers and businesses.

He said the effect of higher petrol prices was not limited to motorists, as increased transportation and logistics costs had also pushed up the prices of food and other essential goods.

“When government makes energy expensive, it makes life expensive,” Atiku said.

The former vice president recalled that he had previously called for government intervention to reduce petrol prices, but said Tinubu had dismissed the proposal as showing “serious ignorance” of governance and the economy.

Atiku questioned whether the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC), petroleum marketers, manufacturers and ordinary Nigerians who had raised concerns about rising costs could all be described as ignorant.

“When workers, producers, marketers and ordinary families are all raising the alarm, government must listen,” he said.

He said the government should be prepared to review its policies when their consequences become difficult for citizens to bear, adding that rising production costs were putting further pressure on manufacturers while families were finding it harder to afford basic goods.

Atiku also argued that government revenue and GDP figures did not necessarily reflect the economic reality facing ordinary Nigerians.

“If government receives more Naira while the citizen’s naira buys less food, less fuel, less electricity and less transportation, then bigger government revenues mean little to the family struggling to survive,” he said.

The ADC candidate urged Tinubu to use the remaining eight months of his first term to reduce the burden on Nigerians and consider any measure capable of lowering petrol prices, even if the proposal came from a political opponent.

“What matters to me is that Nigerians pay less,” Atiku said. “A sensible idea does not become a bad idea because it came from your opponent.”

He also offered to make his policy framework available to the Tinubu administration, saying Nigerians should not have to wait for a new government before benefiting from policies that could provide relief.

“If you need the framework, I will provide it. Implement it under your government. Give it whatever name you choose. Take the credit,” he said.

“I ask for only one thing: Let Nigerians breathe.”

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Food for Living: Pursue Passion More Than Profit (Pt. 1)

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Passion and purpose are among the most debated topics in the human development space. It’s a grey area that has attracted a lot of attention. While some schools of thought believe it’s better to focus on passion, other schools of thought believe that it’s profitable for one to focus on a job that pays the bills.

According to the latter school of thought, passion doesn’t pay the bills. Well, depending on the schools of thought one subscribes to, I personally believe it pays more for one to pursue passion than profit, and I will explain in a minute.

I strongly believe passion is stronger than power because when one loves what one is doing, there’s an inherent strength that comes with it, but if one doesn’t like what they are doing, they’ll lack the moral strength to forge on.

Let me share a practical example with you. My late dad encouraged me to study Taxation Law at New York Law School, a major I didn’t like. He had the mindset that money rules the world, which I tend to believe because when money talks, the world “generally” seems to move around. That mindset and principle is relatable; however, it’s not applicable in other cases because there are some people or situations where money doesn’t move around.

My late dad believed it makes no sense for me to read a major and remain unemployable or poor. So, when I arrived in the United States, the economy was experiencing a recession, and there were no jobs at the time. So, while I was passionate about studying International Relations, Energy Law, or Communications Law, my late dad sat me down and said, based on the information he was receiving from his friends, these are great courses, but when I graduate, it will be hard to find a job because most people in those firms are laying off employees.

According to my late dad, his friends suggested that since I have a legal background, tax law is the only major I can study and be guaranteed a job because people and corporations will always file their tax returns. I initially objected to this advice because my brain is not wired for numbers. I really struggled to accept this advice because I hated numbers with passion.

My late dad would later tell me, you know we are from a humble background, and so we need money.  My late dad would always say, “You wouldn’t want to study international law or communication, and the only thing you can do very well is speak English while remaining poor. One fact about my late dad was that he liked money to a stupor. According to him, after God, the most important thing in the world is money.

After much hesitation, I decided to study the major to make my late dad happy because I saw how happy he would be when I studied tax law. If truth be told, I wasn’t happy studying the major. I really struggled with the major. I managed to get a scholarship and graduated with a decent grade, but getting a job was challenging because employers could see that I didn’t like the major each time I went for an interview.

At the end of the day, I managed to get a job as a Case Manager for a private organization and later as the Legal Coordinator for the New York City Department of Correction. An important point to note here is that, after I left the tax firm, I was intentional about applying for jobs I was passionate about. Money to me was a secondary concern because I strongly believe that when you love what you do and you are good at it, money will surely find you.

I had to share this practical experience to give an insight into the importance of focusing on passion. Don’t get me wrong, money is good, but I personally feel there are more valuable things than money, and a perfect example is marrying a kind man as opposed to marrying a man with money, or marrying a lady with good character as opposed to marrying a lady with a good physique.

It’s instructive to note that when I began to focus on what I love to do, I had to spend time on honing my skills, developing myself by attending relevant training sessions and taking courses that would distinguish me from my contemporaries. It didn’t take long for me to receive recognition for my work. I was celebrated for being a trailblazing author of three books on television; I was interviewed by The New York Times in addition to meeting resourceful global leaders. In all sincerity, I doubt if I would have received accolades assuming I focused on taxation or doing what would give me money.

The moral of this analysis is that while profit is good, passion is much better because it will give one the necessary satisfaction and fulfilment they deserve. To understand how this works, one might make good money in a job but won’t be happy, but someone else might make little money and be happy in what they are doing. If research is done on what makes one happy, most people will likely say it is their passion or what they love to do that makes them happy as opposed to the job they do. It’s only a fragment of people who will attribute their happiness to the job they do, and that’s simply because they have truly figured out who they are or are probably happy and passionate about the work they do.

Let me explain a little: your profession is what you are trained to do as a doctor, lawyer, accountant, or engineer. Your vocation is what you are trained to do as a skilled worker or one with a 9-to-5 job, but your ministry is your calling, and that’s why you find your talent or gift and passion. So, one’s passion can be found in what they love to do.

When one’s profession is aligned with one’s vocation and ministry, then success is bound to be present because passion is at play.

It’s instructive to note that most of the great people I know in the world have become famous because they were doing what they love to do. I recently attended an award ceremony where my alma mater, Baruch College, celebrated alumni who have distinguished themselves. One of the award recipients, Ms. Doris Gonzalez, stated in her speech, “Of all the jobs I have had in my life, this is my best job. I really love my job”.  I strongly believe there is a form of spiritual blessing and success that comes when one is happy doing what one is passionate about.

In conclusion, if one is desirous of succeeding in life, please endeavor to focus on your passion; if you can’t find it, explore what makes you happy. When you find what makes you happy, develop and monetize it, and in no distant time, opportunities and recognition will begin to triple in.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to SuccessUnleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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