Metro
Food for Living: Take a Deep Breath
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends
One of the best things God has given us is the gift of breath. Imagine we are to buy breath, that would be tragic because many of us won’t be alive. Wealthy people would buy up the breath of poor people and store for generations unborn. It will be safe to say your breath is your life because, without it, you won’t be in existence. In my humble opinion, your breath is the most important part of your being. Just so you understand how important it is, a normal human being can hardly stay alive for more than three minutes without breathing. That’s why athletes are always asked to breathe in and out. This is because their coaches know the effects it has on their bodies. Deep breathing helps you to lower stress in your body because when you breathe deep, it sends a message to your brain to calm down, and ultimately makes you relax. Since the brain is regarded as the compass of the body, it sends messages to the other parts of the body for stability.
Disclosure
Be informed, I’m not a medical practitioner, neither am I a health practitioner of any kind. This article is not centered on health or exercise, but rather on the importance of taking life easy as opposed to being hard on yourself when things don’t add up for you.
It’s always painful to feel bad when you fail an examination, especially after spending countless hours reading and sacrificing other engagements just to prepare for the exam. It is also very painful when you spend hours learning a trade, investing in a business, and building a global brand only for it to crash for reasons you can’t understand. The most painful experience might be a man who has spent a fortune to train a lady in school and empowered her to be financially stable only for her to ditch him for a flimsy excuse at the slightest opportunity. Alternatively, as a lady who loved a man with everything in you, you stood by him and supported him wholeheartedly for him to get his act together, and only for him to ditch you for another guy at the slightest provocation. Such is life. There are many reasons to feel bad and used in this journey called life, but I have good news for you; just be glad it happened because you never can tell what would have happened in the nearest future if it didn’t happen. This is the more reason I always pray to fail fast.
You may be wondering what message I’m trying to send? Just hold on for a minute and you’ll understand. Have you ever wondered why you didn’t get a promotion, why you weren’t hired for a job, denied an opportunity of meeting a high-profile person who can change the course of your destiny, or even feel bad if life is not adding up for you? There may be a thousand and one reasons out there. But I have good news for you, take a deep breath.
Again, you may be wondering why I said, take a deep breath, the answer is not far-fetched. Most times as human beings, we don’t take time to take stock of our life and examine why lines are not adding up as expected. Sometimes, we feel the universe is against us. We think there are “physical & spiritual forces” working against our progress. All these thoughts can make us assume there’s a reason why the lines are not falling in place.
Again, take a deep breath.
According to Socrates, an “unexamined life is not worth living”. One of the worst things you can do as a human being is to assume. I have always admonished my friends, when in doubt do not act. That’s why it’s always good to ask questions for clarity.
Taking a deep breath in life allows you to think out of the box and re-strategize on why things are not adding up. Taking a breath allows you to create boundaries by accessing what’s working and what’s not working and what needs to be done. But the biggest gain in taking a breath is making you understand you have done a good job. Once you have done all you are supposed to do in life or any project and the lines don’t add up, please don’t be hard on yourself. There are many lessons for you to learn. Most times, we don’t look at the inherent lessons life is giving to us either because we are “physically or spiritually blind” or we don’t have a grateful heart.
Let’s take a case of a man/woman who wants to get married but it didn’t work out. It will surely be painful after investing time and resources to the person only for it to crash at the end. You may be wondering what happened, why the person acted in a particular way, why the family rejected you, or even why or how a particular incident happened which led to the separation. The funny thing is that you might be feeling the issue was because of you or maybe it wasn’t properly managed, or probably ego was at stake. There may be many reasons out there but again, I say, take a deep breath. Do you know that it’s better to appreciate what didn’t happen because it would have prevented you from what would have happened? That’s food for thought.
One of the best things that can happen to you in life is taking a breath. Many people underscore the importance of taking a deep breath in life. When you take a deep breath, it helps you appreciate yourself by patting yourself. Remember, nobody can console you more than yourself. Nobody can inspire you more than yourself, especially when your force is internal, and nobody can see, feel and experience what you are seeing, feeling, and experiencing more than you can do.
When you go through a tunnel of challenges, it is important to take a deep breath. When you do, you will realize that the feeling is different. In our contemporary society, we have seen numerous examples of people who are validating their life with social media while some people get depressed thinking they are not doing well for themselves or their life is messed up. My dear friend, please calm down, each and every one of us is battling with a secret frustration. Do you know that your life might be much better than that person you are admiring? Do you know if that person has peace of mind? Do you know if that person’s marriage is in shamble? Do you know if the person has an underlying ailment/disease? Do you know if the children are a bunch of disappointment? There are a litany of reasons out there. That’s why is it’s always good to take a deep breath because it’s not always green on the other side of the grass.
In conclusion, I don’t know what your situation is, but don’t allow your peace of mind to be threatened, don’t allow anyone to rent space in your head. You are doing well for yourself. Everyone is on a journey and our paths are different. It might take you 10 years, 20 years, or even 30 years to get to your destination, but the important thing is that you got to your desired destination. So, while you are on your journey take a deep breath along the way, appreciate those who have gone before you, and support those who are coming behind.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A rancorous scene occurred at the premises of the Cherubim and Seraphim Church, Ona Iye Parish in the Iloye area of Sango-Ota, Ogun State penultimate week as a commercial driver swathed by his family members and associates clashed with the pastor and founder of the church, Prophet Abiodun John, in a scandalous paternity row.
The driver, Badiru Folarin, who is the husband of a female church member brought to the church for spiritual healing, screamed that the pastor claimed ownership of his four-year-old child after he caught him having an illicit affair with his wife, Morufat.
Folarin claimed the pastor’s sexual escapades with his wife was revealed by his 14-year-old son, Saheed, who told him that his mother was always visiting and cooking for the clergyman while he was away and that the cleric in turn visited their home at odd hours.
He said: ”The pastor claimed that my in-law had given my wife to him as his wife. However, the question is, can a woman be given to two men as wife?
”The pastor confronted me to my face that he is the biological father of our last child, a four-year-old. Yet my wife rained curses on me, saying that Ogun (Yoruba god of iron) should strike me dead so she can enjoy her benefactor.
”I am a driver. I never enjoyed my wife at home. She was always away to church for several days in the guise of vigils and special spiritual protection. My mother-in-law was disturbed about my wife’s continuous absence from home under the pretext of participation in church activities.”
Amid the yelling, screaming and cacophony of noise at the scene, Morufat told her husband’s family members and bystanders that she was not in the least prepared to leave her husband, although she conceded the paternity of the child in question to the embattled pastor when asked to choose between the latter and Folarin.
She said: ”No one should blame me for what has happened…and If you all must know, I cannot be married to two men in my life…but my husband is not ready to take care of me, he is a shameless man…I will deal with him when we return home.”
Folarin, however, retorted: ”You cannot come back to my house…anything can happen to you if you come back to my house.”
Recalling how the messy affair between the pastor and her wife began, the father of six said he did not believe that the clergyman was having an affair with his wife when neighbours alerted him until his son tipped him off that his wife was having a tryst with the cleric at his house within the church premises.
Folarin said: ”I did not realise that the pastor was sleeping with my wife.
“I am a Muslim while my wife is a Christian. She was having some spiritual attacks and went to the church for deliverance.
“Suddenly, she started frequenting the church, and when I heard that she was having an affair with the pastor, I confronted her but she denied it.
”She would send my children to me for upkeep while at the church and I usually sent money to her, not knowing that she was using my money to prepare meal for her pastor-lover.”
”The pastor knows me very well. He had even given me some spiritual items for use that would attract fortune, but my transport business witnessed a reversal of fortune instead.
”I have been married to Morufat for more than 30 years and our first child is 30 years old. I was giving her about N6,000 every day for upkeep.
“When I got home a few days ago, she rained curses on me. Her action got my 14-year-old son, Saheed, angry, and he opened up that his mother had been flirting with the pastor to the extent that she was cooking for the cleric with the money I have been giving her as daily upkeep.
“My son said his mother had just returned from the church where she took food to the pastor shortly before I returned home on that day.
”The pastor told me to my face that he is the biological father of my last child, a daughter (Alimot).
“I gave my wife the sum of N68,000 when she was pregnant with our last child, but she gave the money to the pastor and relocated to the church for several months under the pretext of seeking spiritual protection.
“Along the line, we had accommodation problem, and that was when I gave her money for a new accommodation. Instead, she spent the money on her lover and later claimed she was sick and that she used the money for treatment.
“I warned her against having any close affair with pastor and asked her to stay in the new apartment.
“Surprisingly, she complained she did not like the fact the apartment is in a one-storey building.
“Last week, my son told me that his mother had been with the pastor’s house for four days. I stormed the place and I was shocked to find them together in a room half naked.
“The pastor tied a towel around his waist while my wife also tied a piece of cloth around her waist while she pushed two of my little children to play outside the room.
“We tried to take my children away from her but she bit off my hand while the pastor claimed that he is the father of my last daughter, who is my sixth child.
“The pastor told all of us at the scene that he is the biological father of my daughter and that I cannot take the girl away from him.
“I later discovered that she had aborted a pregnancy for the same pastor some years ago.
“I cannot take my wife back and because the pastor has vowed to deal with me.
“I don’t want the pastor to kill me. Nigerians should save me from the ruthless pastor.”
Speaking with our reporter, Saheed, Folarin’s son, who allegedly exposed his mother’s illicit affair with the pastor, said his mother threatened to poison him for exposing her affair with the pastor.
”My mother threatened to poison me for exposing her escapades with the pastor of our church to my father.
“She called me an unfortunate child for telling my father that she even cooked for the pastor.
The Nation
The Corps Marshal of the Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC), Shehu Mohammed has assured Nigerians of freer road environments during this Yuletide, saying FRSC personnel have been motivated by the special presidential attention given to the Corps by President Bola Ahmed Tinubu in his logistics support for the Corps, according to a statement made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP)
Speaking during the end of year get-together held at the FRSC National Headquarters Abuja on Thursday, to appreciate staff and strategic stakeholders for their sacrifices and commitment to the success of the campaign for safer road environment during the outgoing year, Corps Marshal Shehu Mohammed stressed the need for sustained sacrifice and devotion to duties.
According to him, he does not have enough words to adequately express his appreciation to the staff for the sacrifices they have made to keep the nation’s highways safer during the year despite the various challenges that could have hampered the efforts. “I cannot thank the staff enough for their sacrifices during the year, but let me assure everyone that in our commitment to taking FRSC to greater heights, I will personally continue to lead from the front in sacrifice as the servant,” he stated.
The Corps Marshal who assured staff that payment for the second batch of the transfer allowances for those affected would commence next week enjoined staff not to rest on their oars but to remain focused and committed in all their assignments. He promised to continue to evolve programs that could address the health and welfare needs of the staff towards ensuring conducive working and living environments.
Speaking directly to the stakeholders, the Corps Marshal thanked them for always standing by the FRSC, stressing that their actions were clear manifestation of road safety being a shared responsibility. He appealed for sustained collaboration from them, especially as the nation comes to the critical periods of year when Christmas and new year celebrations always lead to increased human and vehicular traffic.
In his message at the event, the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Senator George Akume who was represented by the Permanent Secretary, General Services in his office commended the staff of the FRSC for their resourcefulness which he said has been demonstrated in managing road traffic across the country. While congratulating the Corps Marshal for successfully hosting the staff and presenting awards as a mark of appreciation for excellence, he pledged to support the Corps for its logistics and welfare needs in order to enhance the organization’s capacity to deliver on its mandates. The SGF urged the staff to work harder to make movements during the end of the year smoother and safer to avoid the yearly agony associated with the season.
Highlight of the event was the presentation of merit awards to some deserving staff and stakeholders of the Corps for their exceptional contributions to the ideals of the FRSC in making the roads safer. Among the recipients were the National President of Road Safety Officers’ Wives Association (ROSOWA), Dr Nafisa Shehu Mohammed; some Media organizations and transport unions as well as a Marshal from Lekki Unit Command of the FRSC in Lagos State, Sayid Habib who was commended for his endurance in the face of provocation in a recent encounter with a lady passenger n the command.
On hand to entertain the staff and the guests was the newly refurbished and rebranded FRSC band whose members appeared publicly in their new uniform for the first time. And in appreciation of the investment made by the Corps Marshal within the short period of his leadership of the FRSC, the Band rendered a special tune devoted to him as directed by the representative of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation which left everyone satisfied and in joyful mood, hoping for greater achievement in the coming year.
After 35 years of active service to the country, 656 senior non-commissioned officers (SNCOs) were on Thursday, retired by the military after subjecting them to a six-month demilitarization training.
The retirees were disengaged from service at the Nigerian Armed Forces Resettlement Centre (NAFRC), Oshodi, Lagos amid fanfare.
Those retired comprise 535 soldiers of the Nigerian Army (NA), 86 from the Nigerian Navy (NN), 35 from the Nigerian Air Force (NAF) and two from the Nigerian Defence Intelligence Agency (DIA).
Commending the retirees for their invaluable service to the country, the Chief of the Air Staff (CAS), Air Marshal Hassan Abubakar, said the culmination of their unwavering commitment, relentless hard work, and steadfast discipline throughout their service years led to the graduation.
He said: “No doubt, this six-month training has equipped you with the knowledge and skills to transition effectively into civil life, becoming resourceful managers, entrepreneurs, and contributors to national development.
“The essence of our gathering today brings to mind a local adage: “Soja come, soja go, but barracks remain.”
“While many of us may have joked about this saying during our careers, it holds a profound meaning worthy of reflection. It reminds us that the Nigerian military is more than the individuals who serve within its ranks; it is a resilient institution that safeguards our nation’s existence and endures the test of time.
“As individual service members, transition to new chapters in life; the values, traditions, and impact of their service live on, continually shaping the Armed Forces and the nation as a whole.
“This adage also highlights the significance of the foundation you have built and the legacy you leave behind.
“Although you may no longer wear the military uniform daily, the discipline, courage, and commitment that defined your careers will continue to inspire those who follow in your footsteps, ensuring that the strength of the military remains steadfast.
“As you reintegrate into civilian life, I urge you to carry these values forward, becoming pillars of strength and ambassadors of the military profession in your communities. As ex-servicemen and women, I trust that you will set exemplary standards in your communities, contributing to peace, security, and progress. While the barracks remain, your legacy will resonate far beyond its walls, fostering security, peace, and development in our nation.”
He reminded them that retirement from active service marks the beginning of a new chapter of their lives filled with opportunities and challenges.
“Do not entertain fears about your future, do not be discouraged about leaving the profession, comrades, and the environment in which you have lived for so long.
“With the discipline, training and skills you have received, as well as with God on your side, you will enjoy a bright and prosperous future, filled with long life, good health and a sound mind,” he added.
Earlier in his welcome address, NAFRC Commandant, Air Vice Marshal (AVM) Bashir Mamman, said NAFRC has trained over 51,000 personnel and equipped them with relevant self reliant and managerial skills needed for post service life.
Mamman highlighted achievements of the centre under his watch and listed the goals that would be attained next year, noting that the aim was to make NAFRC the best institution for vocational and management training.
