Opinion
Food for Living: Take Your Destiny Into Your Own Hands
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Friends,
It is with great pleasure that I welcome you to the year 2020. It’s not just the beginning of a new year, but also the beginning of a new decade. To some, it’s a year of a new resolution, opportunities, and exploration. To others, it is a decade of milestone achievements that has been penciled down. If I may ask you, what does the year 2020 portends for you?
No doubt we all desire to see a fruitful year in our business, academics, profession, and family life. However, it should be noted that miracles don’t just happen, it is usually stimulated or prompted. In the same vein, our desires will not manifest by itself without us doing some work. Most of us made a resolution for 2020 on what we will like to achieve; some are wishing their friends would succeed so they can benefit from it; some are waiting for mentors, coaches and partners to come onboard, while some are hoping their parents and some random strangers will be the icing on their cake. Regardless of what your thought maybe, I want you to know that you are literally responsible for your success if only you can take your success into your own hands.
Parental and societal influence may have inserted some commas in your life, but you have to take ownership of the final destination. Regardless of your circumstance, you have to grow up because you are the owner of your destiny. According to William Shakespeare “Destiny is the one who deals the deck, but we are the ones who play the card”.
No one is destined to be poor in life. I strongly believe, given equal opportunity, everybody is a potential achiever, because we don’t have dull brains, only brains undeveloped. We are the only owners of our destiny. We decide what we want to do with our lives, our world, and our environment. It’s up to us to determine whether we should conform to or accept what we have been labeled as, or create the change we need with what is at our disposal.
Our futures can only be planted, watered, taken care of and harvested by ourselves. Humanity is only there to assist us in facilitating our desires. You can’t always go with the flow and you can’t always allow the winds to direct or guide you. Sometimes, you take control of the situation just like your ride a car. You are the only one who can guide the path your journey takes. Taking your destiny into your hands entails being actively engaged in what affects you by taking ownership and responsibilities of your life. In our contemporary society, a lot of people have an entitlement mentality. This set of individuals refused to do the needful by being actively engaged.
Before we discuss in details about this philosophical article/topic, I will like to state that this article can only be understood if you think out of the box. Let’s play a little academic, philosophical or spiritual exercise. For the sake of clarity, this is an empowerment article and not a spiritual article. If I may ask. Is there a destiny? If you say yes, who told you that everything is destined? If everything in life predestined, where is the scope to use our intelligence? Nothing is destined! It is just that unconsciously we allow illusions and imaginations have some level of possibility in our minds. The destiny you are talking about is something you created consciously or unconsciously. The moment you utter the word “I want to take my destiny into my hands. It doesn’t matter what Karma says. You’re are literally taking ownership of your life. This is the mindset of how you can walk into 2020 and the new decade
We shall be discussing how we can be actively engaged by taking our destiny into our hands
Business:
If you have a business, you can take your destiny into your hands by taking a worthy risk. If in previous years you were scared of buying a particular product for fear of how the market will receive it. You don’t have to continue to live in fear, worry, and doubt. You don’t have to continue waiting around and hoping that something will fall on your laps. I urge you to take that risk with uncommon skill and creativity that will not only solve a problem but also add value to the business space. You may even be scared of meeting a particular being or even reaching out to a particular organization because you feel you don’t have it together and as such, you depend on a middle man to get what you want. You can take a leap from other great achievers and small businessmen who dared to succeed by going after their desires.
Further more, you can go all out by learning as much as you can. Even it means borrowing to learn a trade, please do so. There’s nothing more honorable than taking care of your responsibility as opposed to begging. In today’s world, some great minds are comfortable with giving crumbs to both lazy and enterprising people just to keep them on the bottom of the ladder to work for them. In 2020, tell yourself, you don’t want to remain ordinary. You can do this by working on your side business after you finish your days’ job for your boss or employer.
Academics:
According to some schools of thought, this decade (2020-2030) is a digital age. These scholars opine that machines will take over human capacity and as such, they advise rational minds to step up their game, otherwise, they will be left out in the scheme of things. The honest truth is that academics will definitely play a huge role for you if you decide to take your destiny into your hands. As you may know, knowledge is information, but the application of that knowledge is what gives you that power. Taking your destiny into your hands entails you reading and researching wide. Don’t limit yourself to what you already know, leave your comfort zone by differentiating yourself from your contemporaries. You can start today by learning something new, even if it means reading a page a day, walking a few steps a day, or even praying. The world is moving at a fast pace and getting informed about the updated trend of information is a smart way to level up.
Personal and Professional Life:
This is the hallmark of all our individual and professional life. For 2020 to be productive, you have to strive to go all out by meeting and engaging with the right people. Seek to learn, relearn and unlearn. At your convenient time, meditate on what is lacking in your personal and professional life and what is needed to improve your lifestyle. You can do this by asking yourself what are the goals and vision you tend to see at the end of the year or decade. You can also reach out to your close friends, colleagues, associates, and mentors on what skills you need to move from point A to B. Their thoughts will be very resourceful in shaping your plans. When you are done with this hypotheses, sit down and ask yourself, what are you passionate about? Are you passionate about money, experience, network, time, happiness, etc.? This should be your guiding factors on how you can approach your game plan.
In conclusion, I want you to know that it’s never too late to be what you want to be. You still have a year or two and even a day to live your life. All that matters is for you to put in your noble effort and leave the rest to God and humanity.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Wealth is of the mind, and not necessarily the amount of money in one’s pocket or in the bank. It takes a great mind to know that if the only thing one has is money, that person is poor because at a stage in life, money may not play any role. It is worth noting that for one to pay for everything they need in life, it’s either they are poor, or you haven’t invested in anyone.
It’s always good therefore, to live for humanity. Life is not about ‘me’, but about humanity. When you consider other people, life works out for you. This is a timeless principle I have adopted overtime, especially when I see a progressive mind who is hungry to learn.
One of the reasons most people are poor is simply because they have the wrong mindset, ideology and information. It’s instructive to know that when you learn well, you stand a better chance of earning well because the more you know, the more you get paid. Nobody pays anyone what they desire, but what they deserve.
Let me explain a little; a poor mind will think a rich man is wasting money by paying triple for a three-bedroom apartment in a porsche neighborhood while a rich mind will think he’s paying for security, and peace of mind.
Again, a poor mind will think a rich man is being extravagant when he buys a luxury perfume or watch when he can buy a decent perfume which ordinarily will perform the same service, but a wealthy mind knows that in the real world, life is governed by perception. According to Dr. Joe Abah, “as a man, there are three things you shouldn’t compromise: solid watch, good shoes and nice perfume”. He further went on to state you can be as casual as you like but once those three things are present, you don’t need to tell anyone you are decently comfortable.
Do you see that life is not about how much you have, but how you manage what you have, but more importantly, how you people perceive you. Some people might have money, but they will find it difficult to invest in their outlook by buying decent clothes, perfumes, shoes and watches.
Another great source of wealth is information. Like I always say, information is power. If you are not informed, you are ill-informed, and once you are ill-informed, you can’t perform because information leads to reformation and transformation. So, it’s fair to say information leads to formation. You are a product of what you know.
It’s sad that many people don’t take time to invest in themselves by buying books of interest, paying for certification courses to enhance their knowledge, or even volunteering their time to intern to learn how great or successful people think.
When rich minds invest their minds to seek knowledge to gain information and knowledge which will set them apart from their contemporaries, they tend to gain access to opportunities in which they can earn decent money, entitled minds will begin to beg for money. That’s poverty mindset.
It should be noted, nobody owes you anything, most people worked hard to get to where they are today. They didn’t succeed because they looked nice, or luck favored them. Yes, those might be contributory factors, but the sacrosanct truth remains that, in civilized climes, they did the work, after all, luck is opportunity meeting preparation. If they were not prepared, the opportunity would have slipped by, and they would not have succeeded.
When we talk of wealth, it doesn’t only relate to money, wealth can also relate to how one thinks, speaks, acts, and prays. All these play critical roles in defining a human being. According to the Bible in Proverbs 17: 28, “Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent, and discerning when he holds his tongue”. So if you are unsure about something, it is better to keep quiet because when you open your mouth, you tell the world who you are. So, when you meet a great mind, be careful how you engage them. That’s why it’s generally stated that it takes a minute for a great man to know if he likes someone who is seeking an opportunity. These great minds have six sense perception. They have the discerning minds to see through your mind.
There was a story I recently read from Dr. Femi Otedola’s book, “Making it Big”. The story is that of a young man who was trying to strike a deal with the business mogul. He came in an inferior car and was looking for a multi-million naira contract, Dr. Femi Otedola, being a shrewd businessman, evaluated the man and priced the him low, forcing him to grudgingly accept.
When the contact was sealed and the young man was about to leave, Dr. Femi called him back and asked him, do you know I priced you low? The man said no. Dr. Otedola said, it doesn’t make business sense to come with a cheap car to seek a multi-million business contract. What that really means is that you ought to dress the way you want to appear. Mr. Otedola, went on to inform him that in life, especially in business, perception rules.
Did you see it would have been better for the man to come in a decent car even though it doesn’t belong to him because he wouldn’t have been prized low. As a matter of fact, his value would have been elevated. The car opened a lot of canker worms about his mindset. Did you see that this statement corroborates with what the Bible stated in Proverbs 17:28.
The power of the mind can’t be overemphasized. Mindset cuts across every corner of our life. My late dad used to own a hospital with his brother, the motto of the hospital was “we care, but God cures”. That to me was very inspiring to know that doctors and nurses were limited in their thought process.
Furthermore, I once visited a general hospital in my hometown in Nigeria, each time I visited the hospital to see a patient, I discovered there’s always a gospel song in the background with a melodic soothing message to comfort everyone. In all honesty, even if one has given up hope of recovering, the song is capable of restoring hope. Again, that’s the power of the mind.
The moral here is that the mind controls everything. Napoleon Hill stated in his famous book, “Think and Grow Rich”, that “whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe, it can achieve it’.
In conclusion, if you want to be wealthy, please consider working on your mindset because that’s where everything, including success and failure start and end.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Tolulope A. Adegoke, PhD
“Leadership envisions the future, Power builds it, but only Control ensures it endures. In their deliberate synergy lies the architecture of all human progress,” – Tolulope A. Adegoke, PhD
Introduction: The Tripartite Foundation of Progress
At the heart of every significant human achievement—from the ascent of a thriving corporation to the resilience of a prosperous nation and the self-actualization of an individual—lies the potent interplay of three fundamental forces: Leadership, Power, and Control.
These concepts are often conflated or misunderstood. Yet, their distinct roles and synergistic relationship form the very bedrock upon which possibilities are envisioned and delivered. Leadership provides the vision and the compass; power furnishes the engine and the tools; and control ensures the steering and the governance. Together, they create an “architectonics of influence,” a deliberate framework for building a better future across all sectors of human endeavor.
Deconstructing the Core Concepts
- Leadership: The Compass of Purpose
Leadership is not merely a position; it is a process of social influence that maximizes the efforts of others toward achieving a goal. It is the domain of vision, inspiration, and emotional intelligence.
- For Peoples: Leadership manifests as mentorship, parenting, and community organizing. It empowers individuals to transcend their limitations, fostering personal growth, resilience, and a sense of agency.
- For Corporates: Leadership sets the strategic direction, cultivates culture, and inspires innovation. It is the force that aligns diverse talents toward a common mission, navigating market volatility and competitive pressures.
- For Nations: Leadership, at its best, articulates a national destiny, unites citizens around shared values, and steers the country through crises and opportunities on the global stage.
- Power: The Currency of Action
Power is the capacity to influence the behavior of others or the course of events. It is raw potential energy that, in itself, is neutral—its morality defined by its application. French and Raven’s classic bases of power provide a useful lens:
- Coercive & Reward Power: (Sticks and Carrots) Effective in the short term but often unsustainable, as they rely on external compliance rather than internal commitment.
- Legitimate Power: Derived from a formal position or title (e.g., CEO, Prime Minister).
- Expert Power: Granted based on knowledge, skills, and competence.
- Referent Power: The most potent form, earned through charisma, respect, and admirable qualities.
- Control: The Rudder of Stewardship
Control represents the systems, processes, and ethical frameworks that guide the application of power. It is the essential counterbalance that prevents power from becoming corrupt, arbitrary, or inefficient. Control is not about restriction, but about direction and stewardship.
- Mechanisms of Control: These include transparency, accountability, checks and balances, legal and regulatory frameworks, ethical codes of conduct, and performance metrics.
The Synergistic Equation: Leadership + Power + Control = Delivered Possibilities
The true impact occurs when these three elements are harmonized. Leadership without power is impotent; power without leadership is directionless; and both without control are dangerous.
The Formula for Impact: A visionary leader (Leadership) must wield appropriate forms of power (e.g., Expert and Referent) to mobilize resources and people. This application of power must then be channeled through robust control mechanisms to ensure it is effective, ethical, and aligned with the overarching goal. This synergy unlocks possibilities.
The Perils of Imbalance:
- Leadership without Power: The inspiring visionary with no authority or resources becomes a frustrated prophet, their ideas never materializing.
- Power without Leadership: The powerful but visionless authority figure (a tyrannical manager, a despotic ruler) creates chaos, stifles innovation, and leads to oppression or organizational decay.
- Power without Control: This is the definition of tyranny and corruption. It leads to the abuse of resources, the suppression of dissent, and ultimately, systemic failure (e.g., corporate scandals, state collapse).
Delivery Across Sectors: Peoples, Corporates, and Nations
- For Peoples: The Realm of Personal and Community Agency
- Leadership: Self-leadership—taking responsibility for one’s own growth and actions. Community leaders articulate a shared vision for neighborhood improvement.
- Power: The power of knowledge (Expert), the power of a strong network (Referent), and the collective power of organized action.
- Control: Personal discipline, ethical codes, and community-agreed rules of engagement.
- Delivered Possibilities: Empowered individuals achieve self-actualization. Cohesive communities solve local problems, foster social capital, and create environments where people can thrive.
- For Corporates: The Engine of Innovation and Value Creation
- Leadership: The CEO and C-suite set a compelling vision and culture. Middle managers translate strategy into action and empower their teams.
- Power: Legitimate power of hierarchy, expert power of specialized teams, and the referent power of a strong brand and respected leadership.
- Control: Corporate governance, board oversight, compliance departments, performance management systems, and a strong ethical culture.
- Delivered Possibilities: Sustainable profitability, market innovation, employee engagement and well-being, and long-term value for all stakeholders.
- For Nations: The Framework for Collective Prosperity and Stability
- Leadership: Elected officials, civil servants, and a judiciary that provide direction, uphold the law, and steward national resources.
- Power: The sovereign power of the state, derived from the consent of the governed (Legitimate), and exercised through institutions (military, judiciary, executive).
- Control: The Constitution, separation of powers, an independent judiciary, a free press, transparent elections, and anti-corruption watchdogs.
- Delivered Possibilities: Economic development, social justice, national security, public health, and the preservation of fundamental rights and freedoms—the foundation for a flourishing society.
The Indispensable Role of Control: From Stewardship to Possibilities
Control is the often-overlooked hero in this narrative. It is the difference between a dictator and a statesman, between a reckless conglomerate and a sustainable enterprise.
- Control Fosters Trust: Transparent and accountable systems build trust among citizens, employees, and investors, which is the currency of long-term collaboration.
- Control Enables Scalability: Without control mechanisms, organizations and nations cannot grow beyond a certain size without descending into inefficiency or chaos.
- Control Mitigates Risk: It provides the early warning systems and corrective actions that prevent catastrophic failures.
- Control Ensures Legitimacy: Power is seen as legitimate and worthy of support when it is exercised within a known and fair framework.
Conclusion: The Call for Conscious Stewardship
In a world of increasing complexity and interconnectedness, the deliberate and ethical management of leadership, power, and control is not a theoretical exercise—it is a practical imperative.
The ultimate delivery of possibilities—be it a child reaching their potential, a corporation pioneering a world-changing technology, or a nation achieving lasting peace and prosperity—rests on our collective ability to:
- Cultivate Leaders who are not only visionary but also humble, ethical, and empowered by referent and expert power.
- Wield Power consciously, recognizing its sources and its profound responsibility.
- Design and Uphold Control systems that are robust yet adaptable, ensuring that power is always a force for creation, not destruction.
The future does not simply happen; it is built. It is architected by those who understand that true, lasting power is the capacity to unlock human potential, and that the highest form of leadership is the stewardship of possibilities for all.
Dr. Tolulope A. Adegoke, AMBP-UN is a Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) in History and International Studies, Fellow Certified Management Consultant & Specialist, Fellow Certified Human Resource Management Professional, a Recipient of the Nigerian RoleModels Award (2024), and a Distinguished Ambassador For World Peace (AMBP-UN). He has also gained inclusion in the prestigious compendium, “Nigeria @65: Leaders of Distinction”.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
To some people, giving is a lifestyle while to some others, it is a burden. However, it should be noted that it is not only the person that has enough that gives, rather the person with a heart of giving.
Overtime, I have discovered that giving means different things to different people. While some people genuinely give to show concern, some people give to show appreciation and gratitude for favors received. A lot more others give for economic reasons like in the United States of America, where charitable giving can be considered for tax deduction. So, some people give to write off debts for taxable purposes. Maybe, they wouldn’t give if the tax code didn’t make that provision. Who knows? Some people even give because it is spiritually advised so that they can receive from the creator (God).
If you are asked why you give or what’s the reason behind your giving, what will be your answer? Personally, I love to give because giving makes me happy. This is how I see giving. Whenever I see anyone who is going through a lot, I feel much better when I assist them in alleviating or solving their problem. One of my favorite lines in the Bible is Matthew 11:28 which says, “Come to me all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”. What the passage means is that God is our greatest succor whenever we are stressed. He advises us to bring our burden to him, and he will make us feel good.
Unfortunately however, we live in a society that loves to receive as opposed to giving. Many people derive joy in seeking assistance whether it relates to money, resources, or knowledge, but very few people selflessly bring their time to give and share their time and resources. One of my mentors once said, the givers hand is always on top while the receiver’s hand is always below. So, the question one needs to ask himself is, where do you want to belong?
One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to have a heart that gives. I recently read a book titled “Making it Big” by Dr. Femi Otedola, a global philanthropist. In his book, he stated that he got to a stage in life where he had to ask himself what makes him happy? He reflected deeply on that question and pondered on it for a while only for him to discover that giving is one of the greatest things that makes him happy. He went further to list all his philanthropic works which have endeared him to the hearts of people.
Dr. Femi Otedola, despite being a shrewd businessman has a large heart when it comes to giving. I have personally discovered that when one gives genuinely without any sentiments or emotions, it has a way of coming back to them in a hundred fold.
When one gives with love, God, in His infinite mercy might not give you back money, he might decide to give you good health, good children, good employees, mentors, opportunities etc. But ignorant minds won’t understand that these are what truly matter.
Uninformed minds would like to receive financial rewards, but they fail to understand that if you are given money, one might use that same money to treat oneself in the hospital or buy luxurious vehicles that might crash leading to their death. They can even use the money to build houses, factories, companies, etc. which can be consumed by fire. Do you see how God blesses one?
Having written about the importance of receiving, the big question we now must ask ourselves is how do we receive? To receive or attract favour, one must either give, solve problems or add value. These three principles are the factors responsible for changing the fortunes of any progressive mind.
Let’s take them one after another:
Giving
I call the act of giving, a womb opener. When you give, the style, manner and mindset of giving can be the game changer of your life. I can’t explain how giving has opened doors for me. Giving is one of the secrets that endeared me to a lot of resourceful minds. When I talk of giving in this context, I’m referring to both financially and resourceful. I give to my mentors, friends, mentees, family, relatives, strangers, God etc., and trust me the rewards have been fulfilling.
Over time, I have had conversations with people who feel giving to mentors is a waste of money because they are already rich and wealthy. I have a different mindset to that thought pattern. Your mentors or benefactors are always on the givers side, and it’s okay for one to think they don’t have any problem, but the truth is that they might have more problems than me and you, but they tend to manage or keep it close to their heart. Trust me, great men have deeper needs, so when someone gives them money or gift, it hits them differently. But more importantly, it separates you from the rank and file of people who might be classified as beggars.
It is generally stated that givers never lack, but I stand to disagree slightly, givers do lack when they don’t give with wisdom. Some people just give indiscriminately when they hear pitiable stories. While all these things are capable of making someone give, one has to be mindful of being moved with emotions and sentiments because when problems come, it won’t come with emotions and sentiments. As a matter of fact, when people see you can be swayed by emotion they can manipulate and play with your brain just to squeeze some money from you. Here is what I will advise, have a charitable benchmark for giving. I say this because when you don’t plan for your money, other folks will plan it for you.
Solve Problems
This right here is one of the best ways if not the best way to receive money. Nobody just gives their hard-earned money for fun because they like just like you without attaching the money for a cause. If you don’t have money, the reason is often because you are not solving a problem, or you are not solving enough problems, or you are not solving the right problem or you are not solving problems for the right people.
There’s so much money everywhere. Money surrounds us in the form of problems. It’s up to you to look at your community, company, institution etc. and ask, what can I do to fix these problems or challenges? When you proffer a solution with a better quality, money will come to your pocket. As one of my mentors will say, when the man with money meets the man with experience, the man with money will lose his experience to gain money and the man with experience will part with his experience to gain money.
Here is my advice: instead of begging people for money, ask them what can you do for them?
Add Value
The final but not the least is value. It’s instructive to note that the more you learn, the more you earn. Just like, network, access, education, money, relationship, are regarded as currencies. Value is the new currency. In fact, value is the center of all currency because they have something which people need. If you don’t have value, you won’t be respected or valued. Most times people just think they are nobody, maybe because they think they are poor, or not from a rich family. No, we are all relevant. It’s due to an inferiority complex that will make one to believe they are nobody. Everyone has a value. Provided you are a human being, there is something you can do.
Just like the poor man needs the rich man, the rich man also needs the poor man. Just like the USA doesn’t have all the resources despite being the most powerful nation on the planet, they also have needs, for instance they need some resources from other countries to supplement their needs.
In summary, if you want to receive, ask yourself, what am I giving?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
