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Food for Living: Taking Advantage of Mistakes and Failures
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Nobody is a above mistakes, so goes the popular saying. And everyone, living or dead, has at one time or another, made a mistake or failed in certain undertakings. This however, has nothing to do with how perfect one is, or may try to be, or even how lousy or unprofessional someone is. Even known perfectionists have been humbled by their own mistakes. But nobody should be subdued by their mistakes or failures because they are not as bad as they are viewed. They are actually stepping stones to greatness if well harnessed.
The only person who hasn’t made a mistake in life is the person who isn’t doing anything. Isn’t it true that the more you strive, the more opportunities come to you. When you make a mistake, it simply means you are doing something, and you are learning.
We have all, at certain times and levels, made mistakes in our businesses, academics, relationship/marriage, profession/vacation and even in our personal lives. Mistakes and failures go pari pasu. Failure is the aftermath of uncorrected mistake. When you fail and refuse to stand up, the failure will define you. The same way a mistake will only define you if you don’t learn from it. It’s quite unfortunate some people allow their mistakes to define them.
Did you know that a single mistake can lead to a major mistake that can set one back. Imagine having a resourceful person in your life, instead of learning from the person, you decide to beg the person for money. Imagine also, you are driving, and you miss an exit, one may have to reroute to the next available route to get back on track.
If you have made a mistake, please don’t be hard on yourself. The mistake can be a set up for success. Sometimes, we feel we have lost an opportunity, but we fail to understand that the mistake was orchestrated by the divine because you never know what’s likely to happen in the near future.
The journey to a fruitful life is not really a smooth ride. One will encounter mistakes and failures along the way. The experience one encounters is used to test the character of the person in addition to strengthening them when they fail.
One of the best ways to capture the relativity of mistakes and failures was captured by Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished ghost writer. According to him, “Anytime you fail, ask yourself these questions,; why did I fail? What lessons have I learnt? Am I grateful for the experience? How can I turn the failures into success? Where do I go from here? Who else has failed I this way and how can he help me? How can my experience help others from failing? Did I fail because of another person, my situation or myself? Did I actually fail, or did I actually fall short of unrealistic high standards? In these circumstances, where did I succeed as well as fail”?
On a closer look of the above statement, one will decipher that both mistakes and failures are needed for success because they have advantages and disadvantages. It all depends on one’s understanding and approach to it. To put it in a more better perspective, see mistakes and failures like a pencil with eraser. When you fail or make a mistake in the journey to life, use the eraser to clean it and then begin again.
If you are intentional in achieving success; whenever you fail, and understand the cause of your failure, you will go to the drawing board to know where you missed it. When you discover the reason, don’t be hard on yourself, just pick yourself up and be grateful for the experience. Remember, if you don’t make mistakes, you won’t learn much. This is because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes so that he makes minimal mistakes.
One of the reasons people have failed and learnt from their mistakes is because they have accumulated so much practical experience. Imagine a person, who has failed in business or marriage, and is advising you on how to be successful in business or marriage; their advice will come from a place of experience. The same is applicable when they are advising you on what made them successful in their marriage or business. If you are smart enough, you will run with their words.
In our contemporary society, we tend to follow people who have only succeeded in their craft, and apportion little regard to those who have failed. A progressive and intentional mind will have a different mindset because they will know that whatever has the capacity to succeed also has the capacity to fail.
On a personal note, whenever I meet a resourceful person I adore, I always ask the person, what would you have done differently 20 years ago if you had the opportunity, or what has life taught you as well as what would be your advise to a young person who wants to succeed? All these are targeted to understanding the mistakes and failures the person experienced so I can learn and avoid it as opposed to focusing only on the reason they succeeded.
There’s no doubt circumstances, situations and human beings can contribute to the failure of anyone, but one thing is certain, we are responsible for our life because no matter what happens, circumstances don’t say who you are, they reveal who you are.
When you set high standards for yourself and fail, it’s not actually a failure per se, because you are trying to exceed expectations. Be positive and see the high standards as motivating yourself to do better as opposed to setting lower standards and exceeding expectations. The moral of this statement is for one not to be comfortable in their comfort zone.
In conclusion, if you are desirous of making an impact in the society, see mistakes, failures, and experience of life as life treasures. Remember, when you succeed, it is the failures, mistakes and your personal and professional experiences that will form stories. As a matter of fact, most people will be attracted more to your failures than your success because they will learn more from them.
So again, I will ask you, who has failed you, who has disappointed you, what mistakes have you made and learned from, and most importantly, how has your mistake and failures made you more efficient. In answering these questions, remember, don’t be hard on yourself.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Food for Living: Kill Worry Before It Kills You
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
No human being can claim exeption from worry. Studies have proved that every person has at one time or another expressed worry over a particular, personal or general. Worry is a universal emotion, and not selective. We worry about our friends, children, partners, spouses, finance, career, health, job interviews and sometimes, how to go about first dates.
Worrying is like a challenge. No matter how hard one tries, they cannot run away from it. Worry can be described as the necessary evil we can’t afford. The basic truth temains that so long as there’s life, worrying about something is never faraway.
Did you know that constant worrying, negative thinking, and always expecting the worst can take a toll on a person’s emotional and physical health. It can sap emotional strength, leave one feeling restless and jumpy, cause insomnia, headaches, stomach problems, and make it difficult to concentrate at work or school.
When you worry, you experience restlessness. You may feel physically jittery, or restless and unfocused at work or school. This is because your attention is so focused on your worries.
Constant worrying can keep you up at night and make you tense and edgy during the day. And even though you hate feeling like a nervous wreck, it can still be so difficult to stop. For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the likely negative beliefs they hold in high belief that’s likely going to happen.
The truth about life is that no matter how hard we try, we can’t solve any problem by worrying about the problem. Imagine being poor, sick, and experiencing a spiritual challenge, trust me, crying, apportioning blame, and complaining won’t fix the problem. What is expected from an informed mind is to fix the problem by proffering solutions.
In the words of a social commentator, Dr. Yomi Garnet, “worry is such an unfortunate habit, isn’t it? Admittedly, real problems do exist, but often we expend so much energy on problems that do not exist, or worse still, we create new ones by dwelling on a myriad of bad things that might happen but never do. Resolve today to be so strong that nothing and nobody can disturb your peace of mind”.
One of the major disadvantages of worry is the level of restlessness and sleeplessness it brings with it, meaning that worries can keep one awake at night.
Changes in social life. Worry can cause social detachment. The effects of chronic worrying can also spill over into your social life. You might find that you become short-tempered with people around you, or even self-isolate yourself from others because you feel so emotionally exhausted.
The question now becomes; how do we solve these problems and challenges? How do we overcome worry? And more importantly, how can we live above worry?
Speak to a Licensed Therapist
Speaking to someone can help to address his concern. According to Maya Angelou, “People may may forget what you say, people may forget what you do, but people will never forget how you made them feel. You can consider speaking to your parents, siblings, partners, mentor or licensed therapist. For instance, BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. You can ask your friends, family members, and people of interest how they cope with uncertainty in specific situations. This can help to improve social and mental wellbeing.
Build a strong support system.
Human beings are social creatures. We’re not meant to live in isolation. But a strong support system doesn’t necessarily mean a vast network of friends. Don’t underestimate the benefit of a few people you can trust and count on to be there for you.
Admit Your Fears
Let’s be honest, it’s practically impossible to feel truly thankful and discontented at the same moment. The first step in solving a problem is by admitting and recognizing we have a problem. This is because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. Once we know a problem exists, the next stage is how do we solve the problem.
There’s no double fear plays a big role in why we worry. We worry about the future. Imagine being out of work and owing rent, it could be traumatic. So, admitting one has a problem of having no job and owing rent is enough to put fear in our body. To solve these problems, one ought to find a job. That’s one of the fastest and most resourceful ways of eliminating fear and worry as it relates to being poor or out of work.
Give Thanks.
Another great way of eliminating worry from our life is by giving thanks to God if one is a Christian. Giving thanks has an undertone of acknowledging problems, however, it says, I’m not focusing on it because I have a superior power over the problem and as such, I will thank my creator who is aware of issues at hand.
Again, giving thanks has an inherent message saying, this challenge is a test of my ability to overcome this challenge. The problem will make one think out of the box about how to address the problem.
Be Still
Being still despite chaos can be challenging. One of the ways of practicing this principle is by taking a deep breath, resting, reflecting, and meditating. This helps to clear one’s head to focus on important things as opposed to mundane things. It’s instructive to note that there’s a certain level of peace of mind that comes to one when one is still.
Pray
This is one of the most powerful ways to end worry from our life. Sometimes, there are problems that are beyond us, but they are not beyond our God. According to the Serenity prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Sometimes, I wonder why most people worry when they can pray. Prayers can change a lot of things if we are intentional and do our own part of the bargain.
In conclusion, to live long and become productive, please quit worrying and complaining about what you have no control over and focus on what you have control over.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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NDC Backs Makinde Amid Call for UN Probe into Oyo School Abduction
The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) has thrown its weight behind Oyo State governor, Seyi Makinde’s call for an independent United Nations (UN) investigation into the abduction of students and teachers in Oriire Local Government Area.
The party said an impartial and transparent international investigation would help establish the facts surrounding the incident and boost public confidence in the ongoing efforts to unravel the circumstances of the abduction.
In a statement issued on Tuesday, the NDC National Publicity Secretary, Osa Director, said the party believed a UN-backed inquiry would uncover the truth, ensure accountability and deliver justice to the victims and their families.
According to the party, Governor Makinde’s request for a UN investigation was driven by the need for transparency rather than politics, stressing that all questions surrounding the incident should be addressed through a credible and independent process that Nigerians can trust.
The NDC also urged the Federal Government to support every lawful initiative aimed at uncovering the truth, strengthening public confidence in the country’s security institutions and preventing similar incidents in the future.
It maintained that the safety and security of Nigerian children should never become a subject of political disagreement or speculation, insisting that the lives of students deserve the highest level of accountability.
The party added that an independent investigation would not only clarify the circumstances surrounding the abduction but also reinforce confidence in Nigeria’s security and justice systems.
Governor Makinde had earlier called for a UN-led investigation into the school abduction, saying an independent inquiry would lend credibility to the findings and address public concerns over the incident.
The kidnapping of students and teachers in Oriire has sparked nationwide outrage and renewed calls for stronger security measures in schools and better protection for pupils, students and educational personnel.
News
INEC Denies Granting Nafiu Bala Access to Nomination Portal
The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has dismissed as false claims circulating in the media by a factional leader of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Nafiu Bala, that he had obtained the commission’s access code and uploaded the party’s candidates for the 2027 general election.
The claim, which has been widely shared on social media, suggested that Bala’s faction had successfully completed the upload of candidates on INEC’s nomination portal.
However, when contacted by Daily Trust, INEC’s Director of Voter Education and Publicity, Mrs Victoria Eta-Messi, described the claim as untrue, insisting that Bala is not recognised by the commission as the national chairman of the ADC.
“It is not true,” she said.
A further check by Daily Trust on INEC’s official political parties portal also contradicted Bala’s claim.
The commission’s portal lists Sen. David Mark as the National Chairman of the ADC and Ogbeni Rauf Aregbesola as the National Secretary, indicating that they remain the party officials recognised by INEC for the purpose of nominations and other statutory dealings.
The development comes amid the protracted leadership crisis within the ADC, with rival factions laying claim to the party’s national leadership ahead of the 2027 general election.
The controversy has intensified following reports by Bala’s faction that it had secured INEC’s access code and uploaded candidates, a claim now firmly denied by the electoral commission.






