By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Nobody is a above mistakes, so goes the popular saying. And everyone, living or dead, has at one time or another, made a mistake or failed in certain undertakings. This however, has nothing to do with how perfect one is, or may try to be, or even how lousy or unprofessional someone is. Even known perfectionists have been humbled by their own mistakes. But nobody should be subdued by their mistakes or failures because they are not as bad as they are viewed. They are actually stepping stones to greatness if well harnessed.

The only person who hasn’t made a mistake in life is the person who isn’t doing anything. Isn’t it true that the more you strive, the more opportunities come to you. When you make a mistake, it simply means you are doing something, and you are learning.

We have all, at certain times and levels, made mistakes in our businesses, academics, relationship/marriage, profession/vacation and even in our personal lives. Mistakes and failures go pari pasu. Failure is the aftermath of uncorrected mistake. When you fail and refuse to stand up, the failure will define you. The same way a mistake will only define you if you don’t learn from it. It’s quite unfortunate some people allow their mistakes to define them.

Did you know that a single mistake can lead to a major mistake that can set one back. Imagine having a resourceful person in your life, instead of learning from the person, you decide to beg the person for money. Imagine also, you are driving, and you miss an exit, one may have to reroute to the next available route to get back on track.

If you have made a mistake, please don’t be hard on yourself. The mistake can be a set up for success. Sometimes, we feel we have lost an opportunity, but we fail to understand that the mistake was orchestrated by the divine because you never know what’s likely to happen in the near future.

The journey to a fruitful life is not really a smooth ride. One will encounter mistakes and failures along the way. The experience one encounters is used to test the character of the person in addition to strengthening them when they fail.

One of the best ways to capture the relativity of mistakes and failures was captured by Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished ghost writer. According to him, “Anytime you fail, ask yourself these questions,; why did I fail? What lessons have I learnt? Am I grateful for the experience? How can I turn the failures into success? Where do I go from here? Who else has failed I this way and how can he help me?  How can my experience help others from failing? Did I fail because of another person, my situation or myself? Did I actually fail, or did I actually fall short of unrealistic high standards? In these circumstances, where did I succeed as well as fail”?

On a closer look of the above statement, one will decipher that both mistakes and failures are needed for success because they have advantages and disadvantages. It all depends on one’s understanding and approach to it. To put it in a more better perspective, see mistakes and failures like a pencil with eraser. When you fail or make a mistake in the journey to life, use the eraser to clean it and then begin again.

If you are intentional in achieving success; whenever you fail, and understand the cause of your failure, you will go to the drawing board to know where you missed it. When you discover the reason, don’t be hard on yourself, just pick yourself up and be grateful for the experience. Remember, if you don’t make mistakes, you won’t learn much. This is because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes so that he makes minimal mistakes.

One of the reasons people have failed and learnt from their mistakes is because they have accumulated so much practical experience. Imagine a person, who has failed in business or marriage, and is advising you on how to be successful in business or marriage; their advice will come from a place of experience. The same is applicable when they are advising you on what made them successful in their marriage or business. If you are smart enough, you will run with their words.

In our contemporary society, we tend to follow people who have only succeeded in their craft, and apportion little regard to those who have failed. A progressive and intentional mind will have a different mindset because they will know that whatever has the capacity to succeed also has the capacity to fail.

On a personal note, whenever I meet a resourceful person I adore, I always ask the person, what would you have done differently 20 years ago if you had the opportunity, or what has life taught you as well as what would be your advise to a young person who wants to succeed? All these are targeted to understanding the mistakes and failures the person experienced so I can learn and avoid it as opposed to focusing only on the reason they succeeded.

There’s no doubt circumstances, situations and human beings can contribute to the failure of anyone, but one thing is certain, we are responsible for our life because no matter what happens, circumstances don’t say who you are, they reveal who you are.

When you set high standards for yourself and fail, it’s not actually a failure per se, because you are trying to exceed expectations. Be positive and see the high standards as motivating yourself to do better as opposed to setting lower standards and exceeding expectations. The moral of this statement is for one not to be comfortable in their comfort zone.

In conclusion, if you are desirous of making an impact in the society, see mistakes, failures, and experience of life as life treasures. Remember, when you succeed, it is the failures, mistakes and your personal and professional experiences that will form stories. As a matter of fact, most people will be attracted more to your failures than your success because they will learn more from them.

So again, I will ask you, who has failed you, who has disappointed you, what mistakes have you made and learned from, and most importantly, how has your mistake and failures made you more efficient. In answering these questions, remember, don’t be hard on yourself.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com