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Food for Living: Taking Advantage of Mistakes and Failures
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Nobody is a above mistakes, so goes the popular saying. And everyone, living or dead, has at one time or another, made a mistake or failed in certain undertakings. This however, has nothing to do with how perfect one is, or may try to be, or even how lousy or unprofessional someone is. Even known perfectionists have been humbled by their own mistakes. But nobody should be subdued by their mistakes or failures because they are not as bad as they are viewed. They are actually stepping stones to greatness if well harnessed.
The only person who hasn’t made a mistake in life is the person who isn’t doing anything. Isn’t it true that the more you strive, the more opportunities come to you. When you make a mistake, it simply means you are doing something, and you are learning.
We have all, at certain times and levels, made mistakes in our businesses, academics, relationship/marriage, profession/vacation and even in our personal lives. Mistakes and failures go pari pasu. Failure is the aftermath of uncorrected mistake. When you fail and refuse to stand up, the failure will define you. The same way a mistake will only define you if you don’t learn from it. It’s quite unfortunate some people allow their mistakes to define them.
Did you know that a single mistake can lead to a major mistake that can set one back. Imagine having a resourceful person in your life, instead of learning from the person, you decide to beg the person for money. Imagine also, you are driving, and you miss an exit, one may have to reroute to the next available route to get back on track.
If you have made a mistake, please don’t be hard on yourself. The mistake can be a set up for success. Sometimes, we feel we have lost an opportunity, but we fail to understand that the mistake was orchestrated by the divine because you never know what’s likely to happen in the near future.
The journey to a fruitful life is not really a smooth ride. One will encounter mistakes and failures along the way. The experience one encounters is used to test the character of the person in addition to strengthening them when they fail.
One of the best ways to capture the relativity of mistakes and failures was captured by Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished ghost writer. According to him, “Anytime you fail, ask yourself these questions,; why did I fail? What lessons have I learnt? Am I grateful for the experience? How can I turn the failures into success? Where do I go from here? Who else has failed I this way and how can he help me? How can my experience help others from failing? Did I fail because of another person, my situation or myself? Did I actually fail, or did I actually fall short of unrealistic high standards? In these circumstances, where did I succeed as well as fail”?
On a closer look of the above statement, one will decipher that both mistakes and failures are needed for success because they have advantages and disadvantages. It all depends on one’s understanding and approach to it. To put it in a more better perspective, see mistakes and failures like a pencil with eraser. When you fail or make a mistake in the journey to life, use the eraser to clean it and then begin again.
If you are intentional in achieving success; whenever you fail, and understand the cause of your failure, you will go to the drawing board to know where you missed it. When you discover the reason, don’t be hard on yourself, just pick yourself up and be grateful for the experience. Remember, if you don’t make mistakes, you won’t learn much. This is because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes so that he makes minimal mistakes.
One of the reasons people have failed and learnt from their mistakes is because they have accumulated so much practical experience. Imagine a person, who has failed in business or marriage, and is advising you on how to be successful in business or marriage; their advice will come from a place of experience. The same is applicable when they are advising you on what made them successful in their marriage or business. If you are smart enough, you will run with their words.
In our contemporary society, we tend to follow people who have only succeeded in their craft, and apportion little regard to those who have failed. A progressive and intentional mind will have a different mindset because they will know that whatever has the capacity to succeed also has the capacity to fail.
On a personal note, whenever I meet a resourceful person I adore, I always ask the person, what would you have done differently 20 years ago if you had the opportunity, or what has life taught you as well as what would be your advise to a young person who wants to succeed? All these are targeted to understanding the mistakes and failures the person experienced so I can learn and avoid it as opposed to focusing only on the reason they succeeded.
There’s no doubt circumstances, situations and human beings can contribute to the failure of anyone, but one thing is certain, we are responsible for our life because no matter what happens, circumstances don’t say who you are, they reveal who you are.
When you set high standards for yourself and fail, it’s not actually a failure per se, because you are trying to exceed expectations. Be positive and see the high standards as motivating yourself to do better as opposed to setting lower standards and exceeding expectations. The moral of this statement is for one not to be comfortable in their comfort zone.
In conclusion, if you are desirous of making an impact in the society, see mistakes, failures, and experience of life as life treasures. Remember, when you succeed, it is the failures, mistakes and your personal and professional experiences that will form stories. As a matter of fact, most people will be attracted more to your failures than your success because they will learn more from them.
So again, I will ask you, who has failed you, who has disappointed you, what mistakes have you made and learned from, and most importantly, how has your mistake and failures made you more efficient. In answering these questions, remember, don’t be hard on yourself.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Eze Chukwuemeka Eze, has declared that it is over for the President Bola Tinubu administration following the Supreme Court ruling that restored the David Mark-led National Working Committee (NWC) of the opposition party.
Eze, in a statement on Friday, criticized the Attorney General of the Federation, Lateef Fagbemi (SAN) and the INEC chairman, Prof Joash Amupitan, asserting that they should be ashamed for acting as obstacles to the survival of democracy in Nigeria.
He said: “The government led by President Bola Tinubu has tarnished the judiciary. Certain judges and courts are reportedly being systematically employed to undermine the leadership of political parties in anticipation of the 2027 general elections.
“Even when all seemed lost, given the recent court rulings in political cases, particularly those involving opposition parties, Thursday’s Supreme Court judgment was a divine intervention.
“We express our gratitude to God Almighty for prompting the Supreme Court to overturn that disgraceful, distorted, and anti-democratic ruling issued by the Federal High Court, the Court of Appeal, and the misguided interpretation and decision of INEC regarding our party, the ADC.”
He stressed that the time has come for Tinubu and his alleged undemocratic associates in Aso Rock to return to Lagos.
“With Thursday’s ruling saving the ADC from destruction, it is time for Tinubu to begin drafting his handover notes and prepare for his return to Lagos State,” Eze stated.
Eze advised the ADC to concentrate on its primary function as a prominent opposition party in the upcoming 2027 general elections, as that the leadership dispute has been resolved.
He emphasized that stability at the upper levels of the party will result in improved organization, clearer communication, and enhanced participation in Nigeria’s political arena.
Notably, he asserted that the ruling will add to Nigeria’s expanding collection of case laws regarding political party governance, and urged the ADC to stay focused on its objective of reclaiming power from the APC due to poor governance.
“It highlights the judiciary’s role in interpreting party constitutions and ensuring adherence, which may affect how future conflicts are resolved,” Eze stated.
He praised the panel for upholding justice, remarking that any opposing decision regarding the ADC’s alleged leadership issue would have further entangled the Judiciary in the murky waters of arbitral corruption.
“Clearly, this ruling has set the stage for cohesion, unity, stability, and effective leadership within the ADC.
“With this issue now definitively settled, even though it should not have been justiciable ab initio, as it pertains to an internal matter of a political party, we urge all our members, stakeholders, and supporters to unite behind the David Mark-led leadership of the ADC to collectively reposition the party for greater national significance, viability, and visibility,” Eze said.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The school of life is an institution no one can graduate from. It is equated to marriage where new things as well as surprises are the order of the day, occurring on a daily basis. However, there are ways to live through life, and one of them is to accept each day as they come.
Life is truly great and enjoyable if we understand it and accept this truth. There’s no doubt that life is such a great challenge, and we must work hard and smart to overcome the challenge. Once we acknowledge it, nothing really matters any longer because life becomes an infinitely easier project to pursue.
As human beings, we will be tested and tempted. One’s ability to overcome each test and temptation will set one on a higher pedestal. The book of life made us understand there’s time for everything. A time to cry, and a time to laugh, a time to sow and a time to reap, According to the Book of life “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”
One thing is certain if one looks at the timing- they all come in stages and phases. When there’s misplaced priority, success appears like mirage. One’s ability to manage each phase will strengthen one.
Life comes in several stages. When a child is born, the child will learn to crawl before learning how to walk and run. The same is applicable for a student who is interested in education, he will attend high school, college and post graduate studies. These are all stages of life.
The same phase is applicable in relationships and marriage. During the dating and courting stage, the relationship is different, immediately the parties marry, the tone changes. Marriage has three stages namely: Romance (or Honeymoon) stage, Power Struggle (or Disillusionment) stage, and Real Love (or Mature/Conscious Love) stage.
Let’s analyze each stage:
Romance/Honeymoon: (The “Falling in Love” Phase)
This stage is characterized by high intensity, passion, and bonding. At this stage, partners focus on similarities and overlook flaws. At this stage a partner might step on the other partner and instead of getting hurt, the partner will smile and say something like: I love the way you stepped on me, or step on me harder, it makes me endure the love. At this stage partners do everything together. This stage usually lasts from a few weeks to a couple of years.
The first three to five years of marriage can generally be regarded as the most challenging part of marriage, especially the kids start coming in; if it’s not properly managed, the marriage might hit the rock.
Power Struggle/Disillusionment (The “Reckoning” Phase)
During this stage, the “rose-colored glasses” usually come off, and partners notice flaws and differences, leading to “disillusionment, disappointment, and early conflicts”. It is at this stage kids start coming up and the challenge of life starts hitting up. The stage is often characterized by struggles with control, communication, and frustration over unmet expectations. Many couples usually get stuck here, if proper is not applied, it might end the relationship.
Stage 3: Real Love/Mature Love (The “Conscious” Phase)
At this stage, the couples have seen it all. They have been through all stages of life and have seen it all. There’s literally little or nothing that can affect marriage at this stage. It’s only unimaginable and unbecoming acts that lead to the fundamental tenets of marriage that can make the marriage hit the rock.
At this stage couples have trained their children through colleges, and some may have married. Couples will be able to laugh over their acts and start to bond again.
At this stage, couples have been able to navigate their conflict and have learnt to accept their partner’s flaws and choose to build a stable, loving, and mature relationship. Their focus is usually to build a deeper commitment to their marital vows, finally accepting each partner for whom they are, and working together to create a conscious and intentional partnership.
The outcome is usually a sense of safety, connection and lasting love: A sense of safety, deep connection, and lasting love.
In business, the principle is not exempted. An entrepreneur will begin a business, grow it, attract customers, hire employees and then institutionalize it. All these stages come with several phases if one is intentional.
An employee who is hired as an entry level position will have to prove his worth by producing measurable results to walk through the corporate ladder to become Chief Executive Officer, Chief Operating Officer, Chief Financial Officer or one of the higher ups. This position doesn’t come ordinarily; one must have earned it.
In conclusion, regardless of what stage one is experiencing or facing, one thing is certain, this too shall pass, and we shall overcome. So, just hang in there.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The African Democratic Congress (ADC) has declared that it would never be intimidated, distracted, or silenced in its push to realize a better Nigeria.
Spokesman of the ADC, Bolaji Abdullahi, said this in reaction to the Supreme Court ruling, which affirmed David Mark’s leadership of the party.
Abdullahi said the judgment has affirmed that the Mark and Rauf Aregbesola leadership of the party is legitimate.
Abdullahi said: “The African Democratic Congress (ADC) congratulates all our members and leaders across the country on today’s Supreme Court ruling which affirmed the leadership of our party under Senator David Mark as National Chairman, and Ogbeni Rauf Aregbesola as National Secretary.
“Today’s decision is a clear affirmation that our party, its structures, and its leadership under our National Chairman, Senator Mark, and our National Secretary, Ogbeni Aregbesola, are legitimate.
“We commend the five-man panel of the Supreme Court, whose unanimous judgment has today done great credit to the judiciary in our country and our political system.
“However, while we welcome this judgment, we do not mistake it for the end of the struggle. The events leading up to this moment have exposed a troubling pattern of interference, bad faith, and attempts to weaken opposition voices in Nigeria.
“Let it be clearly stated: the ADC will not be intimidated, distracted, or silenced. We remain resolute in our mission to provide Nigerians with a credible alternative.
“We therefore urge all our members, supporters, and democratic stakeholders across the country to remain vigilant.”
