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Food for Living: The Experience of Life
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Dear Friends,
Life is an experience every one of us must surely pass through. It is often said that our experience shapes/defines who we are. Regardless of how true or false you may feel about life, you’ll agree with me that to a reasonable extent, your experience has helped to shape some of your thoughts and actions. Isn’t it true that it is only the person who wears the shoe who can tell where the pinches? It is a well-established fact that experience is the best teacher. This is because we all feel pains differently. According to a philosopher, life is about experiences. We all have to dream, strive, and fail before we can achieve success. Maybe we’ll discover along the way that the journey is more important than the destination
In one of my articles, published a couple of years ago what is life and how can one live through it? I defined life as a woman because you cannot “really” know her. During the course of this article, we shall be discussing many components of life and how the experience can shape you. We all need experience to survive through life because it helps to shape us in addition to giving us more exposure, opportunity, and respect. For instance, we all sit in the same classroom, but we don’t hear and understand the same thing; we all look at a picture but we don’t see the same thing; we all might be walking to a location but we all have a different vision; we all have a business but we run it differently based on our experiences, knowledge and even networks. The same theory is applicable to marriage, job, academics, business, sports etc.
Let’s share some practical details on how experience can shape us.
Marriage/Relationship
This is one of the most complicated and sensitive part of life any human can relate to. Marriage in simple term is life itself. As fondly opined by many rational minds, it is the school one can never graduate from, because you’ll continue to learn until the end of life. In our contemporary society, we have recorded so many divorces and questions flood the mind as what the secret to a successful marriage relationship actually is. Well, in my own humble opinion, there’s no clear cut secret to marriage except the presence of true love between both parties. This is because lots of factors contribute to a make a successful marriage. Every marriage is different and only the partners themselves can decide how they can manage their affairs. Where there’s a misunderstanding between both partners, it will be in their best interest to settle it themselves, and where they can’t settle it, a married or informed counselor can assist. I’m not insinuating that unmarried counselors with insightful positive experience can’t advise married couples, but I do know that whenever couples have problems, they are the only ones who can address their concerns better because nobody knows the root and fundamental cause of the problem more than do especially when they are not comfortable letting it out which leaves the counselor with the only option of speaking from his/her own experience. There have been cases where unmarried couples give advice to married people, in as much I won’t kick against that idea, I feel that sometimes, if not most times, experience plays a huge role in solving problems especially a sensitive one like marriage. Moral: somethings are best experienced than imagined. This is because of the practicality that comes with it. It’s just like driving, having sex, running a business etc.
Business
Just like the saying, old wine tastes better, the same can be said for business. The more time you spend learning the ropes in addition to equipping yourself with knowledge can play a huge role in shaping your business. Just like every great work takes time to manifest, business takes time to grow. I doubt if there’s any overnight successful in business. If at all one ever exist, it’s an exceptional circumstance it’s quite unfortunate many people jump into a business with the mindset of having a great turn over/profit just because they see it is flourishing or they see their friends/colleagues making great strides in the industry. What they fail to understand is that it is not greener out there and every business has a secret.
It’s imperative to note that one of the greatest ways to succeed in business is by having a great network. People find it comfortable to relate with people they know. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is relationship, but the business of life human connection”. In business, a lot of factors come into consideration before one can have a headway. First and foremost you must know what you are passionate about and what your skills set is composed of. Then, give yourself the necessary time to learn the business/trade. This learning can take several forms such as reading, volunteering, taking a class, networking and gaining exposure in the sector.
Furthermore, to succeed in business, you must learn soft skills in addition to being creative with emotional intelligence. For example, a creative and proactive businessman/woman must meet people where are as opposed to having the clients meet him/her where he/she is. A prudent business-minded fellow must have a great attitude to listen to customers, he/she must take the initiative of providing ideas on what might be beneficial to the business, and he/she must have a great attitude to relate with not only his/her clients but the public at large. According to John Maxell, ‘Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them’.
Job
One of the places that experience plays an influential role is the aspect of a job. Most employers always look for candidates with experience during the hiring process. It’s only in a few and rare instance they accept a candidate without experience. An experienced candidate tends to do a better job than a new hire. For example, a new hire may do the job in the right way, but an experienced being may do it in an efficient way.
Academic
In our contemporary society, many people seem people to downplay the role of education as it relates to succeeding in life. They opine that you can always “learn from the street”, you can also learn in an informal way as opposed to formal education. However, they fail to realize that education itself is an experience because you need to get theoretical knowledge before applying practical knowledge. It should be noted that academic education gives you an edge over a person who doesn’t have any opportunity/exposure to one. It is a well-established fact that no knowledge is a waste and having a basic theoretical knowledge can take the place of experience in certain situations.
Sports
This is another great area where experience plays a role. Sports is one of the great areas where experience is needed. It doesn’t matter if you play football, soccer, table tennis, volleyball, basketball, track and felid events and wresting. Your experience will definitely make a difference if you harness it well.
In conclusion, regardless of what you may have experienced through life, having a positive attitude is a guaranteed way of overcoming negative experience. According to Reno Omokri, an author and Pastor, “the secret of love is sacrifice. The secret of happiness is giving; the secret of life is GOD.” This nugget may have informed his line of thought. I don’t know your experience, but whatever it is continue to learn from it because one day it will add up and when you look back, you’ll understand why you have to have to go through the whole experience.
Personal
Just like every taste bud is different, each and every one of us experience different things in life. According to Eleanor Roosevelt, “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” If you ask anyone what’s the purpose of life, you’ll likely receive different responses. The answer to this question is subjective and deeply personal. Different things are important to us throughout the course of our lives. Yet one thing stays with us no matter where we go: our experiences. With respect to personal experience, definitely it’s important to note that your network determines your net worth. Therefore, cultivate your friendships and find companies that fulfill you. It’s from those experiences in life that you’ll learn and grow. In this process, we can learn valuable lessons about ourselves and the world around us. So, don’t be hard on yourself.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
News
After Calling CAN ‘Conflict Entrepreneurs’, Police Make U-turn, Confirm Mass Abduction of Kaduna Churchgoers
Bare 24 hours after denying reports of the abduction of worshippers from three churches in Kurmin Wali community, Kajuru Local Government Area of Kaduna State, the police have reversed their position, admitting that the attack “did occur” and many people were kidnapped.
The police admitted the incident in a Tuesday night statement issued by their spokesperson, Benjamin Hundeyin. This followed a public condemnation of the police’s initial stance.
Recall that terrorists, loosely referred to as “bandits,” invaded the area on Sunday, 18 January, kidnapping over 160 worshippers.
The Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) told this newspaper that 172 people were initially abducted but nine escaped and the remaining were marched into a nearby forest.
The statement signed by its spokesperson, Reuben Buhari, listed the affected churches to include the Evangelical Church Winning All (ECWA), Albarka Cherubim and Seraphim 1 and Haske Cherubim and Seraphim 2.
Both the Kaduna State government and the police disagreed with CAN, challenging it to present evidence that there was an abduction.
Addressing reporters on Monday after a security meeting with state authorities, the police commissioner in Kaduna, Muhammad Rabiu, described the incident as a “falsehood which is being peddled by conflict entrepreneurs who want to cause chaos in Kaduna State.”
Also the chairperson of Kajuru Local Government, Dauda Madaki, denied the attack, citing local authorities in the area.
But in the Tuesday night statement, the police said their new position on the incident followed subsequent verification from operational units and intelligence sources.
The Police said efforts were underway to “safely” rescue the victims and restore normalcy to the area.
The Police said the incident generated widespread fear and anxiety, leading the Kaduna State Governor, Uba Sani, to convene a meeting of the State Security Council at the Government House in Kaduna.
During the meeting, some individuals from the affected local government reportedly disputed earlier reports of the abduction, describing them as false, a development the police said created uncertainty and necessitated further verification.
According to the statement, the abduction had earlier been confirmed by the police, but the conflicting accounts led security agencies to exercise caution before making “conclusive” public statements.
The police explained that comments made by the Commissioner of Police in Kaduna were aimed at preventing “unnecessary panic” while investigations were ongoing.
The remarks, the police added, were not a denial but a response pending confirmation of details, such as the identities and number of those affected.
According to the statement, the Inspector General of Police (IGP), Kayode Egbetokun, has ordered the deployment of additional operational and intelligence assets to the area.
The Police said the response includes the deployment of tactical units, intensified patrols, and targeted search-and-rescue operations.
The Police appealed to the public and the media to rely on official communications for verified information, warning that sensational reporting could “jeopardise ongoing operations or heighten public anxiety.”
Premium Times
The Nigerian Army has dismissed as false and misleading an online report alleging threats of mutiny by soldiers over salaries and allowances, describing the claim as sensational and detrimental to national security.
The acting Director, Army Public Relations, Col. Appolonia Anele, said there has been no threat of mutiny within the Nigerian Army.
Anele said that such conduct is alien to its ethos, discipline and professionalism.
She said mutiny is a grave offence under military law and incompatible with the loyalty of Nigerian Army personnel to the Constitution and the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces.
Anele explained that the report relied on anonymous and unverifiable claims circulated through non-official channels, which did not reflect the views or disposition of officers and soldiers who were trained to address grievances through established military procedures.
Anele clarified that promotion increments is only one component of military pay and should not be misrepresented as total earnings.
According to her, military remuneration includes consolidated salaries, rank-based allowances, operational, field and hardship allowances, as well as other entitlements that vary based on deployment, qualifications and responsibilities.
She said the Nigerian Army, in collaboration with the Armed Forces of Nigeria and relevant government authorities, is implementing structured welfare reforms, including periodic reviews of salaries and allowances, enhanced operational incentives, improved accommodation, medical care and insurance packages for troops and their families.
The army spokesperson added that the Chief of Army Staff (COAS), Lt.-Gen. Waidi Shaibu, had, since assuming office, initiated constructive engagements with relevant authorities on troop welfare, with positive outcomes already emerging.
Anele reaffirmed that the Federal government, under President Bola Tinubu, remains committed to the welfare and operational effectiveness of the Armed Forces amid evolving security challenges.
She urged the public to disregard unfounded reports and rely on official communication channels for accurate information on the Nigerian Army.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
To survive, everyone must work irrespective of creed or cadre. Work defines an individual, and sets them apart.
Working as a human being is however, relative. A student’s main work is to read and pass examination. A parent’s main work is to train their children. An employee’s main work is do the job they have been paid to do. A pastor’s job is to preach the gospel of Christ in addition to leading people to God. An athlete’s main work is to train and compete at global events in addition to winning laurels. The list is endless.
It’s the job every living being does that attracts opportunities to them, and so, staying docile and expecting opportunities to come your way is another way of encouraging poverty, lack and want in your life. In fact, docile people derive a certain level of joy from begging. Some even love freebies, free lunch and introduction for job opportunities just because they think they have the connection to make it work without them necessarily doing the corresponding work or have the requisite skill.
I personally believe it’s only lazy minds, who think that way. Life doesn’t work that way. I have since discovered that the more work one does the more doors and opportunities that come his way.
Speaking from experience, I have observed that some of the opportunities and favours I am currently receiving and enjoying are consequences of the foundation I laid many years ago. One might be wondering how that works. Let me explain a little, the day you sow a seed is not the day you will reap the fruits. Let me be more direct, as an author, it wasn’t an easy feat writing, researching, editing, doing the layout, publishing and printing the manuscript. It was lots of work, and I didn’t know my book would connect me to resourceful persons today.
In addition, the book generated royalties that humbled me to say the least. The moral of this analysis lies in the fact that when I was spending hours doing the work, I didn’t know it would attract the kind of global attention and news interviews that came to me. Now, you see why it’s good to work. Even the Bible states in Luke 10:7, that every laborer deserves fair compensation.
Did you know that if anyone wants to bless you, they will bless you with the work you do. That’s why the book of life states; God will bless the works of your hands. Nobody likes to give out free money. They like their money to work for them. It’s sad and very unfortunate to see people who pray for opportunities, favours, and blessings without doing any work. These lesser minds think money and opportunities will fall from heaven; they fail to realize that it is their work that heaven is waiting to use to bless them.
Did you know that there are things which God has enabled us to do for ourselves, and there are things we need to depend on Him to assist us. Let me explain further; if all your prayer requests are things men can provide, why are you really praying? Isn’t prayer meant for things you can’t do yourself? You pray to pass an exam that your friend read to pass. You pray to get a job that your friend got on merit. You appeal to God for a car that your friend worked for. It looks as if you are abusing prayer, and you want God to give you the things He has equipped you to provide for yourself. It is high time we understood that prayer is not the solution to laziness.
My late dad, Chief Lazarus Ukazu, advised my siblings and I to always work. As a matter of fact, each time he feels we are oversleeping, he’ll wake us up and say we have many years to sleep in the grave when we die, but as we are alive, we must work.
This instructive advice has been one of the best inspirational lessons I have received in my life. That advice made me feel like setting another goal each time I accomplish a major feat.
The importance of working cannot be overemphasized. The difference between high achievers and docile people is the work they do. While high achievers are very intentional with their life, docile people live by chance. While high achievers are determined to break records, and set new records, docile people are always comfortable living in their comfort zone.
In our contemporary society, we literally have no reason to fail because there’s the availability technology and social media to boost the work we do. It’s easy for one to know what we represent by just surfing the internet. So, imagine when frivolities are seen on your page, it will greatly affect you. Then contrast it with when good information is seen of you on the internet. Like I always say, why be local when we can be global?
Did you know that working is like taking a risk, the more work and risk someone engages in, the more opportunities and experience come their way.
In summary, if you are asked, what’s your work or what project are you working on, what will be your response?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
