News
Food for Living: The Power of Relationships
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The success and failure of any man can be linked to the power of relationships. You may have heard of the saying, if you are the smartest person in a room, leave the room. Isn’t it true you are addressed the way you dress? That’s simply how a relationship works.
A few years ago, I published an article Your Network Determines Your Network. According to some schools of thought, you’re the average of five people you associate with. You cannot underscore the power of relationships in life. Relationships are advantageous human connections. Relationships are currencies in the bank you can cash out when you need them. It will be difficult for you to succeed in life without a relationship.
Every human being needs a relationship to survive. Whether you are in business, academic environment, religion, family etc, you definitely need a relationship to thrive. Even animals need relationships to survive. Relationships can be likened to the blood and oxygen in the human body.
Relationships can also be likened to oil and gas (fuel) in a car. If as a human being you can’t breathe or have a certain amount of blood in your body, you are likely going to die. The same is applicable to a car without oil, gas, or fuel.
Building a solid relationship is vital to your success in life. You can build relationships through collaboration, partnership, friendship, networking, mentor/mentee relationship, and service. It’s sad to note that most people only build relationships when they need something from you. That shouldn’t be the case. If you know a great and influential person, it’s important for you to cultivate the friendship, nurturing it by knowing what the person wants, and then find a way to support the person.
You can also decide to check on the person once in a while like on special occasions; birthdays, marriage anniversaries, etc. You can also give them gifts, money, or products that they will appreciate. In that way, they’ll have you in mind whenever an opportunity comes up. Don’t get it twisted, don’t do it for gain, no, do it selflessly. It’s just like mentorship, it goes two ways, as opposed to being parasitic, rather than being symbiotic.
Building a relationship is priceless. I cannot overemphasis the value of relationships in business and life in general. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is human relationship, but the business of life is human connection”. People will only do business with you if they trust, like, and know you. Your competitors may have the same product, but your relationship with your clients will be the icing on your cake.
As a business person, always seeks to give your clients more than they deserve, let them know you care more them more than the money are paying you. By so doing, it makes them feel valued. Do you want to attract favor favors in your life? Then you need to understand how a relationship works According to Dr. Bruce Perry, “The most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationship takes many forms, but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are friends, family, and loved ones.
Everything in life will increase as a result of a relationship. According to an African adage, “If you want to go far, go alone, if you want to fast, go with a team” One solid relationship in your life can change your life. Sometimes, we think wealthy people are stingy or not being helpful, but the honest truth is that every influential man has emotions and once they are connected to you, their benevolence, resources, and connection flow to you. It’s important to note that who likes you in life matters, because they can influence recommendations, jobs, and opportunities for you provided you meet the basic requirements. I am a benefactor of relationships.
In building a relationship, you need to know what you want in life. You need to know what the person has and know the price you are willing to pay for it. Also, be ready to tolerate the “excess” of the person provided you know they have what you need.
Sometimes, building relationships can be tough. Let’s say you’re trying to reach an influential person and all your messages, calls, and reach out don’t get returned, don’t give up. Just know they see it, if it comes up the right way, they will get back to you when it is convenient for them
Proper relationship creates opportunities. For example, when politicians come to a baby’s one-year birthday, they don’t it for fun, they have an interest in the person who invited them. They may have an interest in contract, appointment, or even seeking recognition in the government when the right opportunities become available. You may be the best person for the job, you have even prayed, fasted, and lobbied, but if you are not known, it might be hard for you to get the opportunity.
Tips for Building Relationships that will Help You Succeed
1. Business Relationship
When you build positive relationships with customers and other people you deal with, they are more likely to become ambassadors for your brand and make personal recommendations to their friends, relatives, and colleagues. This adds a layer of credibility to your marketing efforts that money can’t buy.
2. Intuitively support others, especially when the need isn’t obvious.
When we lose a loved one, the support that friends provide is often never forgotten. The value of the relationship we feel can’t be overstated. People who build exceptional relationships, however, pay special attention to the lives of others so they can tell when they’re struggling or going through a tough time – even when it isn’t as obvious as losing a loved one. They have a so-called “empathy sensor” on high alert to notice the little things that might be distracting people they care about. When they notice something is up, they show up, step up, and intuitively know what to do to let the other person know they’re not alone. They don’t do this because they want to build better relationships, but because they care.
3. Be happy when others succeed.
The unhealthy competition we feel when we’re young – for grades, sports, recognition, making the team or club, and for being accepted – can easily slide into adult life. The habit of celebrating the success of others, instead of being jealous that their success is not your own, can be immediately felt by the people experiencing success. Ask a good friend, or just ask yourself: “Who do you think is truly happy for your success?” It’s stunning how quickly an answer will come. You just know. The habit of great relationship builders is to embrace an abundance mentality and to be just as happy for the success of others as if it were your own!
4. Always Aim to Build Bridges
We all know the popular adage warning us “don’t burn your bridges”. Well, the opposite is also important – building bridges and authentic relationships will help you find success in and out of the workplace.
In conclusion, what’s your number one tip for building strong relationships?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a self-discovery expert and works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
News
Fubara: APC, Other Professional Groups Ask NASS to Take Over Rivers Assembly’s Legislative Functions
Civil society organisations, media professionals and leaders of the All Progressives Congress (APC) have called on the National Assembly to take over the legislative functions of the Rivers State House of Assembly, citing an escalating constitutional crisis in the State.
The groups said the demand is pursuant to Section 11 (4) of the 1999 Constitution (as amended).
The press statement was jointly signed by civil society leaders, including Ifeanyi Okorie (Convener), Dr. Maryann Douglas (Director of Programmes) and Collins Akpofure (Chairman) for media professionals. Also, those who signed on behalf of the APC Leaders Forum are Engr. Ibrahim Danjuma (National Leader) and Akpan Ekpeyong (National Secretary).
According to the statement they spoke during a one-week non-stop rally at the APC Secretariat, where they declared that the Rivers State House of Assembly had lost credibility, legitimacy, and public trust due to persistent abuse of legislative powers and a reckless attempt to impeach Governor Siminalayi Fubara.
They warned that Rivers State was sliding into a dangerous constitutional crisis, stressing that the ongoing impeachment process was no longer about legislative oversight but a deliberate effort to destabilise democratic governance.
Democracy in the State, they stressed, is under serious threat and silence at this point would amount to complicity.
The groups commended the Rivers State Chief Judge for refusing to constitute a probe panel and for respecting existing court orders, describing the decision as a clear affirmation of the rule of law and a rejection of illegality.
They insisted that no evidence of gross misconduct, as required by the Constitution, had been presented against Governor Siminalayi Fubara, adding that the allegations were unsubstantiated and politically motivated.
They further accused the Rivers State House of Assembly of procedural lawlessness, vendetta politics, and disregard for judicial authority, arguing that such conduct rendered the Assembly incapable of performing its constitutional duties.
Consequently, they urged the National Assembly to invoke Section 11(4) of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and assume the legislative functions of the state assembly to restore order and democratic stability.
The coalition vowed to sustain the protests until decisive constitutional action was taken, including the takeover of legislative functions by the National Assembly. They called on Nigerians of goodwill to peacefully mobilise, maintain civic presence around the National Assembly, and resist what they described as legislative anarchy.
They maintained that Governor Fubara has shown prudence and commitment to the welfare of Rivers people, warning that Rivers State must not be sacrificed on the altar of political desperation.
The groups concluded with a call for unity in defence of democracy, declaring their resolve to continue the struggle until constitutional order is fully restored in the State.
The Minister of Works, Engr. Dave Umahi, has warned that Section One of the Lagos–Calabar Coastal Highway may be closed to traffic if indiscipline by motorists continues to endanger lives and disrupt construction work.
Umahi spoke in Lagos while parading suspected vandals of cat’s-eye reflective lights on the Third Mainland Bridge.
The minister said the temporary opening was meant to provide relief for road users while construction work continued on the project.
However, he said the situation deteriorated due to traffic indiscipline, including driving against traffic and excessive speeding.
“You will recall what happened during the Christmas period when motorists drove against traffic. We recorded one death and experienced serious traffic congestion due to indiscipline,” Umahi said.
He said that what was intended to reduce congestion became a nightmare, stressing that both the leadership and the citizens shared responsibility for national development.
Umahi disclosed that the ministry considered closing the road in December but President Bola Tinubu directed that it should remain open.
The minister said the situation worsened recently when a contractor’s worker was killed by a speeding vehicle while working on the shoulder of the road, which was off the main carriageway.
According to him, a vehicle travelling at high speed knocked down two concrete solar poles, veered off the road, and killed the worker instantly.
Umahi said he is meeting with the contractor to address safety concerns, noting that construction work could be suspended if the lives of workers would not be adequately protected.
He said the Federal Ministry of Works would work with the Lagos State Government, the Lagos State Traffic Management Authority, and security agencies to deploy personnel to control traffic and secure the construction area.
The minister warned that if wrong-way driving and excessive speeding would persist after one week, the Federal government would have no option but to close Section One of the highway until completion of construction.
“The choice is for all of us to make,” he said.
On marked buildings, Umahi clarified reports that buildings were marked for demolition on the completed corridor of the coastal road.
He apologised to affected residents, saying that the markings were done in error and not by the federal ministry of works.
According to him, land acquisition for public interest is the responsibility of the Office of the Surveyor-General.
He gave the assurance that the error had been corrected.
Umahi said only empty Federal government lands, including areas within 250 metres of the shoreline and approved road corridors, are being processed for acquisition through the Lagos State Government.
He added that the Surveyor-General of the Federation had directed that any wrongful markings on completed buildings should be removed immediately, assuring residents that there is no instruction to demolish their houses.
NAN
By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Destiny Friends,
One of the most interesting aspects of living is the belief factor. What somebody believes in has a role to play in how his life unfolds. It can either make or mar him.
If you are asked what you believe in, what’s likely going to be your response?
There are different kinds of beliefs, especially as it relates to religion. Catholics have their belief; atheist have their belief; Buddhists have their belief; protestants have their belief; Muslims have their belief; Orthodox have their belief, even traditional native doctors have their own belief.
It’s instructive to note that it is what you believe that would work for you. Let’s take a case study of traditional native doctors. When people go to them to find a solution to their problems, the native doctors will give them different herbs or concoction with specific instructions on how to use them. Due to fear or their faith in it, their these people would be compelled to follow their instructions to the latter to get solutions to their problem.
What is important here is not really the herbs, drinks, or instruction that was given to the person, but the belief the person has that will make all the difference. If the person doesn’t have faith in the herbs or the concoction, it won’t work for them, no matter how potent it might be.
The same principle is applicable to anyone who is sick. A doctor’s treatment will be of no effect if the patient does not believe in the doctor or the pill administered to them. Recovery process will therefore be slow.
Believing is relative, and so to succeed, one must have a belief system. The belief system of an employee is quite different from the belief system of a religious person, the belief system of a mentee is also different from the belief system of a politician, the belief system of a president or governor is also different from the belief system of a comedian.
If one should look closely, all these belief patterns are different because what works for one might not really work for another. Let’s take a case study of a mentee or employee. A mentee or an employee might believe that if they do their job very well in addition to playing by the rules and being loyal, they stand a better opportunity of getting good opportunities from their mentor or employer. Now contrast this mindset with of a priest or a president. The priest’s main target is to preach the word of God, convert souls to God, and hopefully pray to go to heaven. But the president’s mindset might be to win the next election. The same is applicable to a comedian whose main target is to make his guests laugh, because when they laugh, they will be obliged to appreciate his service.
Do you see that belief factors are relative? As a child, parent, student or professor there’s always something we hope to get. Even as individuals, we have different goals and aspirations. There are some things we might think are not attainable because of our disposition or mindset, but the truth is that there’s nothing we set our mind to do that we can’t achieve if God is with us. The Book of Life states in 1 John 4:4, that ‘he that is in you is greater than he that is in the world’. In his book “Think and Grow Rich”, Napoleon Hill also recorded that whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe, it can achieve it.
So do you believe you can become a Governor, President, the best athlete, soccer player, lawyer, or doctor? Do you want to be a billionaire? If yes, your belief is valid. What’s left is for you to pick yourself up and get to work because talking is cheap.
Again, I will ask you what do you believe in or what’s your belief system? Sometimes, as human beings, we have different dreams and aspirations to attain a certain height, but when faced with the challenges and vicissitudes of life, we tend to give up. In some cases, we might even think our desires and goals are illusions or unattainable due to our background or circumstances facing us, we fail to understand that whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.
Did you know that the universe responds to the energy we put out? If one desires to be the president or professor and he/she puts in the work, the universe has a way of conspiring to make it work.
One thing is clear and certain: in life, we all must believe in something. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished ghost writer, “the fundamental requisite for a successful life is neither how much you know nor how hard you work (although of course, neither is to be trifled with). The most important factor is what you believe and how deep that belief is. You can do more than you can. You can be more than you believe you are, your pattern stimulates your power to achieve”.
If the above statement is studied closely, one will understand that one of the most important factors that determines how successful a person will be is their belief. Regardless of how hard or smart one might work, if one is not intentional about their belief, it will be hard for the person to get to the next stage in life. A case study of interest that comes to mind is Christian Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. Both superb players didn’t only believe in themselves that they would be great, they put in the work that made them great and envy to others.
I can vividly remember an experience I had when I first arrived United States of America. Each time I visit any office, I literally wonder how people type so fast without looking at their screen. In all honesty and sincerity, I was saying how is that possible? My late dad will always respond; most of them grew up typing as children while in school, so it’s nothing new to them.
My late dad will always encourage me to go to school, and by the time I start working and become familiar with the system, I will see myself typing like them, if not better. In all honesty, I thought he was trying to console me. But the truth is that he was stating the obvious because I can categorically say he was right, because here I am today typing without looking at my keypad.
Another experience I had is related to my writing skills. I had poor writing skills that made my supposed mentors use sarcastic words on me. I remember telling one of them, I will be great one day. It appeared like a joke taken too far, but here I am today as the author of two amazing books with the third one in view.
Why are these stories relevant? They are relevant because of my belief system. I didn’t allow my challenges and background to limit me; rather, I was inspired to believe I could do more.
I don’t know what your storyline or circumstances might be, but what I do know is that your belief can play a big role in your life, consciously or unconsciously. Yes you are right; belief and faith work hand in glove!
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
