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Food for Living: The Power of Relationships
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The success and failure of any man can be linked to the power of relationships. You may have heard of the saying, if you are the smartest person in a room, leave the room. Isn’t it true you are addressed the way you dress? That’s simply how a relationship works.
A few years ago, I published an article Your Network Determines Your Network. According to some schools of thought, you’re the average of five people you associate with. You cannot underscore the power of relationships in life. Relationships are advantageous human connections. Relationships are currencies in the bank you can cash out when you need them. It will be difficult for you to succeed in life without a relationship.
Every human being needs a relationship to survive. Whether you are in business, academic environment, religion, family etc, you definitely need a relationship to thrive. Even animals need relationships to survive. Relationships can be likened to the blood and oxygen in the human body.
Relationships can also be likened to oil and gas (fuel) in a car. If as a human being you can’t breathe or have a certain amount of blood in your body, you are likely going to die. The same is applicable to a car without oil, gas, or fuel.
Building a solid relationship is vital to your success in life. You can build relationships through collaboration, partnership, friendship, networking, mentor/mentee relationship, and service. It’s sad to note that most people only build relationships when they need something from you. That shouldn’t be the case. If you know a great and influential person, it’s important for you to cultivate the friendship, nurturing it by knowing what the person wants, and then find a way to support the person.
You can also decide to check on the person once in a while like on special occasions; birthdays, marriage anniversaries, etc. You can also give them gifts, money, or products that they will appreciate. In that way, they’ll have you in mind whenever an opportunity comes up. Don’t get it twisted, don’t do it for gain, no, do it selflessly. It’s just like mentorship, it goes two ways, as opposed to being parasitic, rather than being symbiotic.
Building a relationship is priceless. I cannot overemphasis the value of relationships in business and life in general. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is human relationship, but the business of life is human connection”. People will only do business with you if they trust, like, and know you. Your competitors may have the same product, but your relationship with your clients will be the icing on your cake.
As a business person, always seeks to give your clients more than they deserve, let them know you care more them more than the money are paying you. By so doing, it makes them feel valued. Do you want to attract favor favors in your life? Then you need to understand how a relationship works According to Dr. Bruce Perry, “The most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationship takes many forms, but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are friends, family, and loved ones.
Everything in life will increase as a result of a relationship. According to an African adage, “If you want to go far, go alone, if you want to fast, go with a team” One solid relationship in your life can change your life. Sometimes, we think wealthy people are stingy or not being helpful, but the honest truth is that every influential man has emotions and once they are connected to you, their benevolence, resources, and connection flow to you. It’s important to note that who likes you in life matters, because they can influence recommendations, jobs, and opportunities for you provided you meet the basic requirements. I am a benefactor of relationships.
In building a relationship, you need to know what you want in life. You need to know what the person has and know the price you are willing to pay for it. Also, be ready to tolerate the “excess” of the person provided you know they have what you need.
Sometimes, building relationships can be tough. Let’s say you’re trying to reach an influential person and all your messages, calls, and reach out don’t get returned, don’t give up. Just know they see it, if it comes up the right way, they will get back to you when it is convenient for them
Proper relationship creates opportunities. For example, when politicians come to a baby’s one-year birthday, they don’t it for fun, they have an interest in the person who invited them. They may have an interest in contract, appointment, or even seeking recognition in the government when the right opportunities become available. You may be the best person for the job, you have even prayed, fasted, and lobbied, but if you are not known, it might be hard for you to get the opportunity.
Tips for Building Relationships that will Help You Succeed
1. Business Relationship
When you build positive relationships with customers and other people you deal with, they are more likely to become ambassadors for your brand and make personal recommendations to their friends, relatives, and colleagues. This adds a layer of credibility to your marketing efforts that money can’t buy.
2. Intuitively support others, especially when the need isn’t obvious.
When we lose a loved one, the support that friends provide is often never forgotten. The value of the relationship we feel can’t be overstated. People who build exceptional relationships, however, pay special attention to the lives of others so they can tell when they’re struggling or going through a tough time – even when it isn’t as obvious as losing a loved one. They have a so-called “empathy sensor” on high alert to notice the little things that might be distracting people they care about. When they notice something is up, they show up, step up, and intuitively know what to do to let the other person know they’re not alone. They don’t do this because they want to build better relationships, but because they care.
3. Be happy when others succeed.
The unhealthy competition we feel when we’re young – for grades, sports, recognition, making the team or club, and for being accepted – can easily slide into adult life. The habit of celebrating the success of others, instead of being jealous that their success is not your own, can be immediately felt by the people experiencing success. Ask a good friend, or just ask yourself: “Who do you think is truly happy for your success?” It’s stunning how quickly an answer will come. You just know. The habit of great relationship builders is to embrace an abundance mentality and to be just as happy for the success of others as if it were your own!
4. Always Aim to Build Bridges
We all know the popular adage warning us “don’t burn your bridges”. Well, the opposite is also important – building bridges and authentic relationships will help you find success in and out of the workplace.
In conclusion, what’s your number one tip for building strong relationships?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a self-discovery expert and works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Dr. Hakeem Baba-Ahmed, a former Special Adviser on Political Matters to President Bola Tinubu, has revealed that the North will, in the next six months, take a stand on who to support for the presidency in 2027.
He boasted that no politician can win the presidency in 2027 without the support of the region.
In a video interview he granted in Hausa language, Baba-Ahmed, who appeared alongside a former Executive Secretary of the National Health Insurance Scheme, Usman Yusuf, lamented the state of the nation and urged northerners to resist divisive and deceptive politicians ahead of the next general elections.
He said: “In the next six months, the North will decide where it stands. If the rest of the country wants to join us, fine. If not, we will go our own way. One thing is clear: nobody can become president of Nigeria without northern support.
“We want a government that understands our problems and can address them. After Buhari’s eight years, we became wiser. Now, we are in another government, and we are still crying. Is crying all we know how to do?” Baba-Ahmed asked.
According to the former presidential aide, the North has suffered greatly during the Boko Haram insurgency, which affected all groups, Muslims, Christians, Fulani, Baju, and others, highlighting the need for unity.
“Before Buhari became president, Boko Haram was bombing mosques, churches, Abuja, and Lagos. That was a time Northerners had to unite. Today, no politician can just show up and expect Northerners to fall in line. Who are you?” he questioned.
He therefore warned against further marginalization of the North, noting that continued disregard for the region would have consequences.
“If they plan to rig the election, they should be careful. It won’t be good for Nigeria. The North is watching, elders, masses, and interest groups will soon say “enough is enough ‘. The injustice and sidelining must stop.
Baba-Ahmed urged the northern region to look beyond identity politics, stressing that competence and integrity should guide voter decisions.
“We are tired of being deceived into voting based on religion or ethnicity. That era is over. We just want a right leader, we just want someone who will solve our problems,” he said.
Telecommunications giant, Globacom, has charged Christians to embrace the virtues that Christ preached as the 2025 Easter celebrations hold this weekend.
While congratulating Christians in Nigeria in a goodwill message released from its Lagos Head Office on Thursday, Globacom admonished them to imbibe the noble qualities of Jesus Christ.
According to Glo, “Peace, love and sacrifice are the central message of Easter. Christ offered himself in atonement for the sins of the world and he lived a life which made Him an eternal symbol of peace and goodwill for mankind”
Globacom charged all Nigerians to espouse the lessons of selflessness, a necessary ingredient in the growth and development of every society and called on all Nigerians to join hands to make Nigeria a better place for all.
The company praised their perseverance through the 40-day Lenten period which comes before Easter as it emphasized the ideals of selflessness, love and peace among all as a way of demonstrating the exemplary life of Jesus Christ.
Easter comes yearly at the end of the Lenten season of fasting and prayer considered as a ritual of purification for the Christian faithful. It also precedes the crucifixion of the Lord Jesus Christ on Good Friday and His eventual resurrection on Easter Sunday.
The company assured its customers of unhindered voice, data and Short Messaging Service (SMS) during and after the Easter celebrations, while urging them to avail themselves of the various data and voice offerings on the network.
Dear Destiny Friends,
Every human being loves to get approval, either for the great work they have done or the ones they are doing. They love to be appreciated and admired. They also love to be given attention when they have something valuable to say or do. In all of these, one thing is certain, there is something special about us, and this special thing makes one unique, and ultimately attracts people to us.
Let’s face it, nobody will admire you, appreciate you, approve you and give you attention if you don’t have anything to offer. The reason most people associate with someone is because they feel or know there’s something they can gain from the person. It’s hard for someone to relate closely with someone who they don’t see potential value in.
There is no doubt each and everyone of us is unique, yes, there’s something unique about you. You can sing, you can write, you can dance, you can lead, you can serve, you can cook, etc. One can even be a good actor, athlete, comedian, or preacher. The list is literally endless. Now, what’s unique about you?
When you discover what’s unique about you, please do all within your reach to nurture and develop it. One day, the right person, who truly appreciates and knows your value will celebrate you.
I have a friend who is exceptionally skilled in writing and developing creative contents. I call him a genius because he can literally write a book within a week. How he does it is what I don’t understand. I was surprised when he once told me he wrote a book and manuscript in one week. According to him, he has been developing the contents mentally, but hasn’t found time to put his thoughts together, and when he finally gets his thoughts together, he was able to write the book and manuscript. This is a typical way of knowing a unique being.
Many, however, do not know what’s unique about them. We focus our energy chasing what is not chasing us instead of focusing on developing what we already have. It’s sad to see young and old people living their lives in an unintentional manner with a belief that somehow lines, favour or opportunities will fall in place for them.
Sometimes, we rely on other people’s affirmation and opinion, and accept it as our fate. For instance, just because one is tall, he might be told he will be a great fit for basketball without considering if the athlete loves basketball; again, just because someone is very intelligent, his parents will encourage him to major in a particular discipline, which is perceived as lucrative without considering if the person likes it pr not.
I once experienced this fate when my late dad inspired me to study taxation law in New York Law School, a major I detest with passion. It was like a suicidal mission for me because I do know, it will take miracle to graduate from the program. How I was able to get a scholarship for my grades and graduate in record time is a story for another day. I’m not wired as a finance person, I will better serve humanity in the social and developmental space where my skills, talents, gift and passion will be better utilized. And ever since I joined the space, I have seen results.
There are many cases where many people lose their identities without knowing they are unique. We are all unique in our individual ways. Just like there are several gifts and talents, we have different skills. When you know what’s unique about you, you will stand out and the world will not only appreciate you, but will celebrate you.
When one discovers the power of their uniqueness, we will gather strength to unleash it to the world. Uniqueness works in several ways. For instance, the mere fact that ten people are genius, talented, skillful or valuable in a particular work, the person with the unique gift is the person who will not only stand out, but will be called upon to do the work.
Let me share more insight. If ten people sing a particular song with a great voice, the person who is called to be a singer will receive a unique appreciation because he/she is working on purpose. That is why it is easy to see a lot of people venturing into a particular form of business, but the favour of the business will not locate them because they are not uniquely destined to do business.
Few years ago, one of my mentors shared a deep insight with me. He said that, as a trained medical doctor, he once observed that despite the fact there are hundreds and thousands of medical doctors practicing their profession. One fateful day, he noticed a particular patient was not responding to treatment despite all the medication that had been given to him by a nurse, his health was deteriorating, then another nurse came and administered the same pill a nurse gave the patient, and the patient began to feel better. What does that tell you? The second nurse was probably working in her purpose which aligns with her profession, and as such the corresponding success. This goes to show that when one is unique, it has a way of robbing off on their work.
Furthermore, he stated that Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, and Beyonce are some of the gifted singers and dancers the world has ever celebrated. He went on to say that we have hundreds and thousands of musicians, but only a few have got the spotlight.
What does that tell you? When you are unique, the world will celebrate you. I have understood that the fastest way to get recognition in life is to work in areas where one’s strength and unique gift will better serve the purpose. This is simply because the world does not celebrate one’s weakness, rather, the world celebrates one’s strength.
In recent times, I have seen myself as a counselor and human inspiration. My counseling skills have enabled me to influence people to live positive lives. Overtime, I have realized that when people share their burden with me, they feel relieved after speaking with me. What amazes me most is the fact that even my elders feel comfortable to relate with me on a cordial basis. Maybe, I have a unique gift for counseling and educating.
Today, I am going to charge you to focus your energy and time on whatever will bring you the highest satisfaction. Even if you are looking for a job, applying for school, or seeking any opportunity, your focus should be centered on what you have that the job, school or opportunity will amplify. When you do so, you will be in high demand.
In conclusion, please affirm to yourself today, I am a unique being with a unique personality, purpose and gift.
Say to yourself, ‘I am original’, and refuse to be fake.
Again confess that your originality, authenticity and uniqueness will attract favours, blessings, opportunities from leaders and queens to you, and you will be celebrated.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
