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Food for Living: The Power of Relationships
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The success and failure of any man can be linked to the power of relationships. You may have heard of the saying, if you are the smartest person in a room, leave the room. Isn’t it true you are addressed the way you dress? That’s simply how a relationship works.
A few years ago, I published an article Your Network Determines Your Network. According to some schools of thought, you’re the average of five people you associate with. You cannot underscore the power of relationships in life. Relationships are advantageous human connections. Relationships are currencies in the bank you can cash out when you need them. It will be difficult for you to succeed in life without a relationship.
Every human being needs a relationship to survive. Whether you are in business, academic environment, religion, family etc, you definitely need a relationship to thrive. Even animals need relationships to survive. Relationships can be likened to the blood and oxygen in the human body.
Relationships can also be likened to oil and gas (fuel) in a car. If as a human being you can’t breathe or have a certain amount of blood in your body, you are likely going to die. The same is applicable to a car without oil, gas, or fuel.
Building a solid relationship is vital to your success in life. You can build relationships through collaboration, partnership, friendship, networking, mentor/mentee relationship, and service. It’s sad to note that most people only build relationships when they need something from you. That shouldn’t be the case. If you know a great and influential person, it’s important for you to cultivate the friendship, nurturing it by knowing what the person wants, and then find a way to support the person.
You can also decide to check on the person once in a while like on special occasions; birthdays, marriage anniversaries, etc. You can also give them gifts, money, or products that they will appreciate. In that way, they’ll have you in mind whenever an opportunity comes up. Don’t get it twisted, don’t do it for gain, no, do it selflessly. It’s just like mentorship, it goes two ways, as opposed to being parasitic, rather than being symbiotic.
Building a relationship is priceless. I cannot overemphasis the value of relationships in business and life in general. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is human relationship, but the business of life is human connection”. People will only do business with you if they trust, like, and know you. Your competitors may have the same product, but your relationship with your clients will be the icing on your cake.
As a business person, always seeks to give your clients more than they deserve, let them know you care more them more than the money are paying you. By so doing, it makes them feel valued. Do you want to attract favor favors in your life? Then you need to understand how a relationship works According to Dr. Bruce Perry, “The most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationship takes many forms, but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are friends, family, and loved ones.
Everything in life will increase as a result of a relationship. According to an African adage, “If you want to go far, go alone, if you want to fast, go with a team” One solid relationship in your life can change your life. Sometimes, we think wealthy people are stingy or not being helpful, but the honest truth is that every influential man has emotions and once they are connected to you, their benevolence, resources, and connection flow to you. It’s important to note that who likes you in life matters, because they can influence recommendations, jobs, and opportunities for you provided you meet the basic requirements. I am a benefactor of relationships.
In building a relationship, you need to know what you want in life. You need to know what the person has and know the price you are willing to pay for it. Also, be ready to tolerate the “excess” of the person provided you know they have what you need.
Sometimes, building relationships can be tough. Let’s say you’re trying to reach an influential person and all your messages, calls, and reach out don’t get returned, don’t give up. Just know they see it, if it comes up the right way, they will get back to you when it is convenient for them
Proper relationship creates opportunities. For example, when politicians come to a baby’s one-year birthday, they don’t it for fun, they have an interest in the person who invited them. They may have an interest in contract, appointment, or even seeking recognition in the government when the right opportunities become available. You may be the best person for the job, you have even prayed, fasted, and lobbied, but if you are not known, it might be hard for you to get the opportunity.
Tips for Building Relationships that will Help You Succeed
1. Business Relationship
When you build positive relationships with customers and other people you deal with, they are more likely to become ambassadors for your brand and make personal recommendations to their friends, relatives, and colleagues. This adds a layer of credibility to your marketing efforts that money can’t buy.
2. Intuitively support others, especially when the need isn’t obvious.
When we lose a loved one, the support that friends provide is often never forgotten. The value of the relationship we feel can’t be overstated. People who build exceptional relationships, however, pay special attention to the lives of others so they can tell when they’re struggling or going through a tough time – even when it isn’t as obvious as losing a loved one. They have a so-called “empathy sensor” on high alert to notice the little things that might be distracting people they care about. When they notice something is up, they show up, step up, and intuitively know what to do to let the other person know they’re not alone. They don’t do this because they want to build better relationships, but because they care.
3. Be happy when others succeed.
The unhealthy competition we feel when we’re young – for grades, sports, recognition, making the team or club, and for being accepted – can easily slide into adult life. The habit of celebrating the success of others, instead of being jealous that their success is not your own, can be immediately felt by the people experiencing success. Ask a good friend, or just ask yourself: “Who do you think is truly happy for your success?” It’s stunning how quickly an answer will come. You just know. The habit of great relationship builders is to embrace an abundance mentality and to be just as happy for the success of others as if it were your own!
4. Always Aim to Build Bridges
We all know the popular adage warning us “don’t burn your bridges”. Well, the opposite is also important – building bridges and authentic relationships will help you find success in and out of the workplace.
In conclusion, what’s your number one tip for building strong relationships?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a self-discovery expert and works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
News
Tinubu Extends Europe Vacation, Due Back at Weekend
President Bola Tinubu has extended his “working vacation” in Europe by a few days and is expected to return to Nigeria at the weekend, the Presidency said on Monday.
The announcement came as Vice President Kashim Shettima represents the President at the 81st United Nations General Assembly in New York, where he is scheduled to deliver Nigeria’s national statement.
Tinubu departed Nigeria on August 30 to begin his working vacation in London. After spending one week in the United Kingdom, he proceeded to Paris, France, where he held meetings with French President Emmanuel Macron and businessman Vincent Bolloré.
Bolloré’s media interests include Canal+, MultiChoice and Universal Music Group.
A statement signed on Monday by Bayo Onanuga, Special Adviser to the President on Information and Strategy, said Tinubu has remains in touch with developments at home and continued to direct the affairs of government despite being away from Nigeria.
One of the major decisions taken by the President during the period was his directive for an independent investigation into the deaths of 37 suspected illegal miners in Minna following their detention by the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps.
The deaths had raised concerns over the circumstances surrounding the detention and treatment of the miners, prompting the President to order an independent probe.
Tinubu’s decision to extend his stay abroad means he will not personally attend the opening of the high-level segment of the UN General Assembly in New York. Shettima, who departed Abuja on September 20, is representing the President at the global gathering and will present Nigeria’s national statement.
The Presidency said the Vice President’s representation was part of the arrangements for Tinubu’s absence from the country.
With Shettima now in New York, the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Senator George Akume, will continue to represent the President at some official functions.
The Presidency said Tinubu had also delegated the Vice President to represent him at official functions while he was away, while Akume had similarly stepped in at other engagements.
The President’s extended stay in Europe also comes amid increased political activities at home ahead of the 2027 general elections.
According to the Presidency, the Director-General of the Presidential Campaign Council, Senator Abubakar Yari, has been leading notable leaders of the ruling party in consultations with prominent traditional rulers across the country.
The consultations form part of ongoing political engagements as the administration moves towards the next electoral cycle.
The Presidency also reacted strongly to criticism over Tinubu’s decision not to attend the UN General Assembly personally.
It described as irresponsible what it called a “baseless insinuation” by former Vice President Atiku Abubakar and a United States-based lobbying firm headed by an ex-convict regarding the President’s non-attendance at the global gathering.
The Presidency maintained that Nigeria would be adequately represented by Shettima, who will deliver the country’s national statement.
Tinubu’s latest trip began as an official working vacation, during which the President combined his leave with selected diplomatic, business and governmental engagements.
His meeting with Macron in Paris provided an opportunity for discussions on bilateral relations, while his engagement with Bolloré focused on business and investment interests involving Nigeria.
News
Let Nigerians Breathe, Reduce Fuel Price, Atiku Tells Tinubu
Former Vice President Atiku Abubakar has urged President Bola Tinubu to take immediate steps to reduce the cost of petrol, saying Nigerians are struggling with the combined impact of high energy, transportation and food prices.
Atiku made the call on Friday in Abuja during a press briefing on fuel prices, palliatives and the rising cost of living. His comments came amid renewed concerns over the effect of higher petrol prices on households and businesses.
The African Democratic Congress (ADC) presidential candidate said the removal of petrol subsidy in May 2023 placed additional pressure on families, workers, farmers and businesses.
He said the effect of higher petrol prices was not limited to motorists, as increased transportation and logistics costs had also pushed up the prices of food and other essential goods.
“When government makes energy expensive, it makes life expensive,” Atiku said.
The former vice president recalled that he had previously called for government intervention to reduce petrol prices, but said Tinubu had dismissed the proposal as showing “serious ignorance” of governance and the economy.
Atiku questioned whether the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC), petroleum marketers, manufacturers and ordinary Nigerians who had raised concerns about rising costs could all be described as ignorant.
“When workers, producers, marketers and ordinary families are all raising the alarm, government must listen,” he said.
He said the government should be prepared to review its policies when their consequences become difficult for citizens to bear, adding that rising production costs were putting further pressure on manufacturers while families were finding it harder to afford basic goods.
Atiku also argued that government revenue and GDP figures did not necessarily reflect the economic reality facing ordinary Nigerians.
“If government receives more Naira while the citizen’s naira buys less food, less fuel, less electricity and less transportation, then bigger government revenues mean little to the family struggling to survive,” he said.
The ADC candidate urged Tinubu to use the remaining eight months of his first term to reduce the burden on Nigerians and consider any measure capable of lowering petrol prices, even if the proposal came from a political opponent.
“What matters to me is that Nigerians pay less,” Atiku said. “A sensible idea does not become a bad idea because it came from your opponent.”
He also offered to make his policy framework available to the Tinubu administration, saying Nigerians should not have to wait for a new government before benefiting from policies that could provide relief.
“If you need the framework, I will provide it. Implement it under your government. Give it whatever name you choose. Take the credit,” he said.
“I ask for only one thing: Let Nigerians breathe.”
News
Food for Living: Pursue Passion More Than Profit (Pt. 1)
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Passion and purpose are among the most debated topics in the human development space. It’s a grey area that has attracted a lot of attention. While some schools of thought believe it’s better to focus on passion, other schools of thought believe that it’s profitable for one to focus on a job that pays the bills.
According to the latter school of thought, passion doesn’t pay the bills. Well, depending on the schools of thought one subscribes to, I personally believe it pays more for one to pursue passion than profit, and I will explain in a minute.
I strongly believe passion is stronger than power because when one loves what one is doing, there’s an inherent strength that comes with it, but if one doesn’t like what they are doing, they’ll lack the moral strength to forge on.
Let me share a practical example with you. My late dad encouraged me to study Taxation Law at New York Law School, a major I didn’t like. He had the mindset that money rules the world, which I tend to believe because when money talks, the world “generally” seems to move around. That mindset and principle is relatable; however, it’s not applicable in other cases because there are some people or situations where money doesn’t move around.
My late dad believed it makes no sense for me to read a major and remain unemployable or poor. So, when I arrived in the United States, the economy was experiencing a recession, and there were no jobs at the time. So, while I was passionate about studying International Relations, Energy Law, or Communications Law, my late dad sat me down and said, based on the information he was receiving from his friends, these are great courses, but when I graduate, it will be hard to find a job because most people in those firms are laying off employees.
According to my late dad, his friends suggested that since I have a legal background, tax law is the only major I can study and be guaranteed a job because people and corporations will always file their tax returns. I initially objected to this advice because my brain is not wired for numbers. I really struggled to accept this advice because I hated numbers with passion.
My late dad would later tell me, you know we are from a humble background, and so we need money. My late dad would always say, “You wouldn’t want to study international law or communication, and the only thing you can do very well is speak English while remaining poor. One fact about my late dad was that he liked money to a stupor. According to him, after God, the most important thing in the world is money.
After much hesitation, I decided to study the major to make my late dad happy because I saw how happy he would be when I studied tax law. If truth be told, I wasn’t happy studying the major. I really struggled with the major. I managed to get a scholarship and graduated with a decent grade, but getting a job was challenging because employers could see that I didn’t like the major each time I went for an interview.
At the end of the day, I managed to get a job as a Case Manager for a private organization and later as the Legal Coordinator for the New York City Department of Correction. An important point to note here is that, after I left the tax firm, I was intentional about applying for jobs I was passionate about. Money to me was a secondary concern because I strongly believe that when you love what you do and you are good at it, money will surely find you.
I had to share this practical experience to give an insight into the importance of focusing on passion. Don’t get me wrong, money is good, but I personally feel there are more valuable things than money, and a perfect example is marrying a kind man as opposed to marrying a man with money, or marrying a lady with good character as opposed to marrying a lady with a good physique.
It’s instructive to note that when I began to focus on what I love to do, I had to spend time on honing my skills, developing myself by attending relevant training sessions and taking courses that would distinguish me from my contemporaries. It didn’t take long for me to receive recognition for my work. I was celebrated for being a trailblazing author of three books on television; I was interviewed by The New York Times in addition to meeting resourceful global leaders. In all sincerity, I doubt if I would have received accolades assuming I focused on taxation or doing what would give me money.
The moral of this analysis is that while profit is good, passion is much better because it will give one the necessary satisfaction and fulfilment they deserve. To understand how this works, one might make good money in a job but won’t be happy, but someone else might make little money and be happy in what they are doing. If research is done on what makes one happy, most people will likely say it is their passion or what they love to do that makes them happy as opposed to the job they do. It’s only a fragment of people who will attribute their happiness to the job they do, and that’s simply because they have truly figured out who they are or are probably happy and passionate about the work they do.
Let me explain a little: your profession is what you are trained to do as a doctor, lawyer, accountant, or engineer. Your vocation is what you are trained to do as a skilled worker or one with a 9-to-5 job, but your ministry is your calling, and that’s why you find your talent or gift and passion. So, one’s passion can be found in what they love to do.
When one’s profession is aligned with one’s vocation and ministry, then success is bound to be present because passion is at play.
It’s instructive to note that most of the great people I know in the world have become famous because they were doing what they love to do. I recently attended an award ceremony where my alma mater, Baruch College, celebrated alumni who have distinguished themselves. One of the award recipients, Ms. Doris Gonzalez, stated in her speech, “Of all the jobs I have had in my life, this is my best job. I really love my job”. I strongly believe there is a form of spiritual blessing and success that comes when one is happy doing what one is passionate about.
In conclusion, if one is desirous of succeeding in life, please endeavor to focus on your passion; if you can’t find it, explore what makes you happy. When you find what makes you happy, develop and monetize it, and in no distant time, opportunities and recognition will begin to triple in.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com






