By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The success and failure of any man can be linked to the power of relationships. You may have heard of the saying, if you are the smartest person in a room, leave the room. Isn’t it true you are addressed the way you dress? That’s simply how a relationship works.
A few years ago, I published an article Your Network Determines Your Network. According to some schools of thought, you’re the average of five people you associate with. You cannot underscore the power of relationships in life. Relationships are advantageous human connections. Relationships are currencies in the bank you can cash out when you need them. It will be difficult for you to succeed in life without a relationship.
Every human being needs a relationship to survive. Whether you are in business, academic environment, religion, family etc, you definitely need a relationship to thrive. Even animals need relationships to survive. Relationships can be likened to the blood and oxygen in the human body.
Relationships can also be likened to oil and gas (fuel) in a car. If as a human being you can’t breathe or have a certain amount of blood in your body, you are likely going to die. The same is applicable to a car without oil, gas, or fuel.
Building a solid relationship is vital to your success in life. You can build relationships through collaboration, partnership, friendship, networking, mentor/mentee relationship, and service. It’s sad to note that most people only build relationships when they need something from you. That shouldn’t be the case. If you know a great and influential person, it’s important for you to cultivate the friendship, nurturing it by knowing what the person wants, and then find a way to support the person.
You can also decide to check on the person once in a while like on special occasions; birthdays, marriage anniversaries, etc. You can also give them gifts, money, or products that they will appreciate. In that way, they’ll have you in mind whenever an opportunity comes up. Don’t get it twisted, don’t do it for gain, no, do it selflessly. It’s just like mentorship, it goes two ways, as opposed to being parasitic, rather than being symbiotic.
Building a relationship is priceless. I cannot overemphasis the value of relationships in business and life in general. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is human relationship, but the business of life is human connection”. People will only do business with you if they trust, like, and know you. Your competitors may have the same product, but your relationship with your clients will be the icing on your cake.
As a business person, always seeks to give your clients more than they deserve, let them know you care more them more than the money are paying you. By so doing, it makes them feel valued. Do you want to attract favor favors in your life? Then you need to understand how a relationship works According to Dr. Bruce Perry, “The most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationship takes many forms, but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are friends, family, and loved ones.
Everything in life will increase as a result of a relationship. According to an African adage, “If you want to go far, go alone, if you want to fast, go with a team” One solid relationship in your life can change your life. Sometimes, we think wealthy people are stingy or not being helpful, but the honest truth is that every influential man has emotions and once they are connected to you, their benevolence, resources, and connection flow to you. It’s important to note that who likes you in life matters, because they can influence recommendations, jobs, and opportunities for you provided you meet the basic requirements. I am a benefactor of relationships.
In building a relationship, you need to know what you want in life. You need to know what the person has and know the price you are willing to pay for it. Also, be ready to tolerate the “excess” of the person provided you know they have what you need.
Sometimes, building relationships can be tough. Let’s say you’re trying to reach an influential person and all your messages, calls, and reach out don’t get returned, don’t give up. Just know they see it, if it comes up the right way, they will get back to you when it is convenient for them
Proper relationship creates opportunities. For example, when politicians come to a baby’s one-year birthday, they don’t it for fun, they have an interest in the person who invited them. They may have an interest in contract, appointment, or even seeking recognition in the government when the right opportunities become available. You may be the best person for the job, you have even prayed, fasted, and lobbied, but if you are not known, it might be hard for you to get the opportunity.
Tips for Building Relationships that will Help You Succeed
1. Business Relationship
When you build positive relationships with customers and other people you deal with, they are more likely to become ambassadors for your brand and make personal recommendations to their friends, relatives, and colleagues. This adds a layer of credibility to your marketing efforts that money can’t buy.
2. Intuitively support others, especially when the need isn’t obvious.
When we lose a loved one, the support that friends provide is often never forgotten. The value of the relationship we feel can’t be overstated. People who build exceptional relationships, however, pay special attention to the lives of others so they can tell when they’re struggling or going through a tough time – even when it isn’t as obvious as losing a loved one. They have a so-called “empathy sensor” on high alert to notice the little things that might be distracting people they care about. When they notice something is up, they show up, step up, and intuitively know what to do to let the other person know they’re not alone. They don’t do this because they want to build better relationships, but because they care.
3. Be happy when others succeed.
The unhealthy competition we feel when we’re young – for grades, sports, recognition, making the team or club, and for being accepted – can easily slide into adult life. The habit of celebrating the success of others, instead of being jealous that their success is not your own, can be immediately felt by the people experiencing success. Ask a good friend, or just ask yourself: “Who do you think is truly happy for your success?” It’s stunning how quickly an answer will come. You just know. The habit of great relationship builders is to embrace an abundance mentality and to be just as happy for the success of others as if it were your own!
4. Always Aim to Build Bridges
We all know the popular adage warning us “don’t burn your bridges”. Well, the opposite is also important – building bridges and authentic relationships will help you find success in and out of the workplace.
In conclusion, what’s your number one tip for building strong relationships?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a self-discovery expert and works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via email@example.com
Police Clampdown on 56 Suspected Cultists, Robbers in Lagos
The Lagos State Police Command has announced that no fewer than 56 suspected cultists and armed robbers have been arrested by its men in some communities of the state.
In a statement signed by the command’s Public Relations Officer, Muyiwa Adejobi, on Sunday, the Police noted that 50 suspected cultists and armed robbers were arrested during raids on their hideouts in the Imota, Igbokuta, Adamo and Emure areas of Ikorodu.
“The police boss in the state re-echoed the command’s readiness to tackle and decimate criminals in the state, while confirming the arrest of 50 suspected armed robbers and cultists in the Imota, Igbokuta, Adamo and Emure areas of Ikorodu during a sting operation carried out by the commissioner’s Police Strike Force between Friday and Saturday, March 5 to 6, 2021.
“The 38 male and 12 female suspects include Oladunni Abiodun, 20; Dosumu Oluwaseun, 22; Segun Adelaja, 29; Gbamila Iyabo, 26, wife of the Number 1 man of the Aiye Confraternity in Igbokuta, arrested with one pump action loaded with eight rounds of cartridges; Salisu Islamiyat, 29, wife of the Number 1 Aiye Confraternity man in Emure, arrested with a locally-made pistol with some live cartridges; Abiodun Abbey, aka, Oju Ogunle, alleged to have killed more than 22 person in the Ikorodu area; and 44 others.
“Other items recovered from them include guns, live ammunition and cartridges, assorted charms, berets with confraternity logos, paraphernalia of office of the confraternity and some weapons,” Adejobi noted
Again, the statement revealed that six suspected cultists were arrested in the Ibeju-Lekki area of the state.
“The CP also confirmed the arrest of six suspected cultists in the Ibeju-Lekki area of the state by police operatives attached to the Elemoro Division. The suspects are Adeyemi Hassan; Adesoye Yusuf; Yusuf Sadiku; Isaila Adebanjo, an ex-convict and leader of the Aiye Confraternity; Monsuru Ojo and Tajudeen Ramon.
“The CP has put all Area Commanders and Divisional Police Officers in the state on their toes to ensure that the state is rid of cultism, crimes and criminality. He has ordered prompt investigation and prosecution of cases as necessary arrangements have been made by the Lagos State Government to consistently fast-track judicial processes in the state,” the PPRO said.
Osun Police Mount Intensive Search for Attackers of Ibadan/Akure Road Passengers
Consequent upon the incident of 6th March 2021 around 7:00pm, where a gang of criminals/hoodlums intercepted and attacked a Toyota Previa commercial Bus with Reg. Ondo KTP 331 RG plying Ibadan/Akure expressway by Egbu Village Ikire, in which unsuspecting commuters were eventually dispossessed of their valuables and the driver and one other abducted; the Police in prompt response, engaged the criminals in firefight which led to the arrest of three (3) suspects, and the rescue of other commuters safely to Ikire Police Division. The arrested suspects are making useful statements.
As a result, the Commissioner of Police, CP Olawale Olokode immediately combined a strong reinforcement of Police Tactical units, JTF, Local hunters, and Vigilantes with the Police teams on ground, to embark on search/rescue operation; combing the bush for the two missing persons, and possible arrest of all other fleeing criminals.
He further reiterates his resolve that, all forms of criminal incendiary will be checkmated in all nook and crannies. He Also warns criminals to have a rethink, as the Command has declared total war on unscrupulous elements.
Finally, the Commissioner of Police enjoined members of the public to support, co-operate, and collaborate with the Police in fighting crime to bring it down to the barest minimum, by providing us with creditable and prompt information.
Food for Living: A Solid Relationship Precedes Success
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Relationships are very vital for our success. It is rather unfortunate that many people don’t understand the rationale behind, as well as the influential nature of having a dynamic relationship. It is imperative to note that we are all products of relationships. We relate with our spouses, children, friends, family, colleagues, and humanity in general. It is often advised to be civil to all, social to many, and familiar to few. However, having the ability to nurture these relationships is very important in life. But of more important is being able to decipher how to relate to each, and knowing the exact persons you admit into a relationship. Note that a wise man once said “be careful who you let into your ship because some people will sink the whole ship just because they can’t be the captain”. A word, they say, is enough for the wise.
Notwithstanding, we are not unaware that relationships are very important in our lives. We are all products of relationships. We are created as relational beings. We live for relationships. Little wonder when God wants to bless us, he uses people. Of course, when the devil wants to mess us up, he also uses people. Relationships will either make or mar us, so it is wise to ensure that we don’t allow toxic relationships, and we don’t take beneficial relationships for granted.
Before you relate to anyone, you must relate with yourself. You can never relate cordially with others if you cannot relate with yourself. A better relationship with yourself begins with understanding yourself. If you cannot relate to yourself, you will find it difficult to relate with others. Many people don’t understand themselves and therefore, find it difficult to relate with others.
Every relationship is literally different. Just as our faces look different, our attitudes, behaviours, character and instincts are different. Every relationship needs different ingredients to thrive. A business relationship needs trust, discipline, understanding and honesty to thrive, while a marital relationship needs romance, honesty, tolerance, understanding, communication, compromise, trust, sacrifice, and compatibility to thrive.
Just to let you how powerful a relationship is, in some social parlance, it is often said that if God wants to bless a man, he sends a man and if he wants to destroy a man, he sends a woman. Relationships come in different ways; your relationship with your wife can make or mar you. If you marry the wrong person, your life will take a different route, but if you marry right, he/she will attract opportunities, blessings, and a good support system for you.
In business, the ability to meet your clients and customers where they are is critical to your success. People will do business with you if they trust and like you. Building relationships doesn’t entail relating only with the high and mighty in society. It does not mean relating with only productive people. Yes, these sets of minds are very resourceful and should be generally used for evaluation, but do you know that a good relationship with a security officer, cleaner, cook, artisan, and the low class in the society can be the icing on your cake that will change the course of your life. This is because they may have access to your potential investor.
In order to have a fruitful relationship, it is important to study emotional intelligence because it will go a long to manage the vicissitudes of life in addition to letting you know if the relationship is for you or not. Emotional intelligence deals with self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, social management, and then empathy. These are very important for a successful relationship, and need to be well managed.
As human beings, we are products of two major factors 1. Nature – how we were born and 2. Nurture – How we grow (parents, environment, school, friends, experiences, etc.). These two factors put together determines our make and personalities. Emotional intelligence will help you to nurture your relationship.
We all desire to have a fruitful relationship, no doubt. It can be in our personal or professional capacity. However, it is important to note that there’s no formula or script for any successful relationship; one needs to be deliberate and intentional to make it work. A relationship is simply like a gift that’s yet to be open. No one sees the full picture of a gift, the same is applicable to a relationship. You can hardly tell the surprise character or attitude your partner can spring up during your relationship. Therefore, an individual’s level of emotional intelligence will determine a lot. Good emotional intelligence will help you to be aware and manage your partners’ emotions, creating a room to accommodate mistakes and learning to forgive.
In order to have a successful marital relationship, here are some bullet points to avoid
1. The urge to control your spouse, partner, people, etc. Resist this urge nor matter how hard it tries to raise its ugly head. For instance, if you are the provider for the family and you are a female, resist the urge to control or manipulate your spouse. Any form of manipulation is witchcraft.
2. Avoid the need to always be right at all costs. Generally, in marriage, there’s no winner and loser. You either win together or lose together. The best way to approach this issue is by applying the best interest judgment. Both parties must hear each other and select the best point.
3. Resist the temptation to retaliate and not forgive. Avoid the habits of digging up past hurts and wounds to retaliate. In marriage, you are bound to hurt each other, the ability to tolerate is very vital to the success of your marriage.
4. Resist the urge to criticize far more than you encourage: Marriage needs appreciation and support to grow. However, if you are to criticize, you must do it constructively. If you are criticized objectively, two things are possible; if it is untrue, ignore the urge to be irritated, but if it is true, it is not a criticism, it’s a lesson; learn from it.
5. Communicate how you feel. Communication is the life wire of any marital relationship. Without communication, the marriage dies just like a plant dies without water. Communication works in different forms for different people. Communication helps to build intimacy in marriage. Words are very important in marriage, in fact, they can ignite a fire that can lead to the dissolution of a marriage if the wrongly used.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via firstname.lastname@example.org