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Food for Living: The Success of Failing in Life
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends
It is no secret that everyone wants to be a success. No one wants to be a failure. But the irony of life is that in order to succeed in life, you must fail. Success and failure are terms used to describe how we did at a particular event in our life events, not people, not how we are in totality.
Failure comes in different stages of life. Though some people might say they passed their exams on the first attempt, accomplished success in their first year of business or even made great impacts due to their great advisors and mentors, and research they did, great minds only know too well that in the journey of life, failure is a necessary component of success.
Failure and success mean different people to different people and they react differently. Some people take failure personally; these set of people see it as a permanent situation and give up, and there are people who use it as a lesson; they do not take it personally but as a temporary setback.
Just like you won’t value a good man/woman until you lose him/ her to another woman/man, the same way, you can never appreciate success unless you have failed. Failure humbles you.
We have all failed in several capacities in life. While some people fail and wail, other rational minds will fail and pick up the lessons. Failures come in different shapes and sizes of life. Failure can come to you in your early or late years of marriage, business, careers, and life. It’s quite unfortunate to know that many people don’t know that failure can prevent disaster in their life. For instance, won’t you prefer leaving an abusive marriage than dying in the marriage? Wouldn’t you like to experience betrayal or fraud from a friend than to lose a fortune that will cost you all you have labored in life? That goes to tell you some failures are a blessing in disguise.
As human beings, we are scared of failure. These failures arise as a result of phobia or the fear of the unknown. We fail to understand that when we embrace of face our fear, there’s a probability of succeeding. Imagine having the fear of talking to a lady you like just because you are scared she might turn you down, imagine having fear of starting a project just because you feel you are not prepared for the task, you fail to think out the box, you fail to realise that nobody has ever gotten it 100% right before they embarked on their project.
According to Dr. Yomi Garnett a Life Coach “it’s impossible to evolve into your full potential unless you face adversity and learn from t. Life’s great victories come from overcoming defeats and setbacks. May your own road be rough enough for you to profit from the portholes and narrow bridges.
The sad part of life is that many people don’t recover from their failure, they allow their failure to define them, and they blame it on circumstances. The good thing about failure is that you can turn your mess into a message, you can make your fate your faith, you turn your pain into pleasure, and your disappointment into an appointment if only you are able to think out of the box.
The advantages of failure
Failure is life’s greatest teacher
You are probably familiar with the saying. Experience is the best teacher. This is because the wise man learns from his mistakes, but the wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes. Failure will humble you. According to Ralph Heath “The quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear’ Failure will teach you a life lesson you won’t forget in a haste.” –, When you fail well, life will show you the reality of life. One key lesson in failure is that it shows the kind of person you are. That’s why it is always said “never let success get to your head, and never let failure get to your heart.
Just to understand the practical nature of failure and success. Imagine a newborn baby. When a baby is first learning to walk, he/she is going to fall down many times. This, in fact, is a failure, but as time goes time the baby’s leg will be strong and he/she will be able to work well without staggering.
Why It is Necessary to Fail
Knowledge
The knowledge you will gain from failure can be harnessed in the future to overcome that very failure that inflicted so much pain in the first place. Nothing can replace the knowledge gained from failure. When Thomas Edison famously failed nearly 10,000 times to create a commercially viable electric lightbulb, with each failure, he gained the knowledge of just one more avenue that didn’t work. It was the accumulated knowledge developed from nearly 10,000 failed attempts that ultimately led to his success.
Resilience
One of the true test of failure is resilience. This is because resilience goes a long way to show how passionate and eager a progressive is eager to push. In order to achieve great success, we must be resilient. Because, if we think that we’re going to succeed on the first try or even the first few tries, then we’re sure to set ourselves up for a far more painful failure.
Growth
According to Marilyn Monroe “Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie?”
Failure helps us to grow in life. When you fail at a particular task, the knowledge and experience you will gain will make you strategic in planning. The good thing about this type of failure is that it makes you grow. When we see successful people celebrating their business, marriage, academic achievement, or event career, it will be good to ask them about their failures and how they were able to come this fear. When we fail, we grow and mature as human beings. We reach deeper meanings and understandings about our lives and why we’re doing the things that we’re doing.
Value
Do you know failure can be an asset? Imagine a divorcee, politician, or businessman sharing their mistakes with the world. Many people will pay to listen to them because they have practical insight based on their experience. The value lies at the heart of success and a lack of value is a fundamental pillar to failure. To appreciate value, write out what you failed at and why you failed? What could you have done differently? How will you tackle those failures in the future when you’re faced with them? How will you learn from the past to help shape a bigger and brighter future?
How to Recover from Failure
1. Ignore the Naysayers
When you fail, surely there will be the people telling you, “I told you so,” Ignore those people. Ignore the naysayers. Be glad you showed up and learned one of two things.
2. Understand that it’s Okay to Fail
One mistake we do in life is to assume that it’s not okay to fail. It’s okay to fail. But it’s not okay to give up when you fail.
3. Leverage your failures
Each failure is simply feedback on how to perfect your craft. Know that nothing works unless you act. According to Arthur Jones, you can’t teach anybody anything, success comes from good judgments. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment”.
In conclusion, as you go through the journey of life, fall and stand gallantly because that’s one sure way of succeeding in life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A federal judge in the United States, on Thursday, put a temporary block on President Donald Trump’s attempt to restrict birthright citizenship.
The ruling imposes a 14-day halt on the enforcement of one of the most controversial executive orders Trump signed hours after being sworn into office for a second term.
It comes after lawsuits were filed by a total of 22 states, two cities and numerous civil rights groups.
“This is a blatantly unconstitutional order,” senior US District Judge John Coughenour was reported as saying during the hearing in Washington State.
“I’ve been on the bench for over four decades, I can’t remember another case where the question presented is as clear as this one is,” said Coughenour, who was appointed to the bench by a Republican president, Ronald Reagan.
Birthright citizenship is fundamental to America’s national identity, with the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution decreeing that anyone born on US soil is a citizen.
It says, in part: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”
Trump’s order was premised on the idea that anyone in the US illegally, or on a visa, was not “subject to the jurisdiction” of the country, and therefore excluded from this category.
AFP
The Court of Appeal sitting in Akure, Ondo State capital has upheld the death sentence of Ramon Adedoyin, a prominent businessman and hotelier, for his involvement in the murder of one Timothy Adegoke, a former postgraduate student of the Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU), Ile-Ife, Osun State.
Delivering the judgment on Thursday, the court affirmed the earlier verdict of the Osun State High Court, which had sentenced Adedoyin to death.
“The judgment of the High Court of Osun State stands. Adedoyin’s appeal is dismissed in part,” the court declared in part.
The Court of Appeal, however, set aside some aspects of the lower court’s orders, including the forfeiture of the Hilton Hotel and the order for Adedoyin to pay for the education of Adegoke’s children.
Furthermore, the court ruled that it had no jurisdiction to impose penalties outside the statutory provisions
Adegoke’s death was reported in November 2021 after his corpse was found at the Hilton Honours Hotel in Ile-Ife, Osun State, where he had lodged.
The hotelier had travelled from Abuja for an examination at a distance learning centre in Moro, Osun State on November 5 of that year.
He had checked into the hotel but was reported missing after two days. However, Adegoke’s body was found days later, leading to a probe that linked his death to Adedoyin and others.
In May 2023, Adedoyin and others were sentenced to death after they were found guilty of murder and conspiracy to murder.
But dissatisfied with the judgement, Adedoyin approached the Appeal court to dismiss the sentence and conviction.
The court of appeal, on Thursday, however, upheld the conviction and death sentence of the hotelier.
