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Food for Living: The Test of Confidence

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By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Friends,

Self-confidence is one of the greatest skills any progressive and productive minded being must have. Self-confidence is truly priceless because it cuts across all levels of life. During interviews, one of the qualities interviewers look for in a candidate is your level of confidence. At work environments, supervisors, Directors look for confidence, capability, and competence in a candidate before any task is delegated to them. Students, athletics, public speakers, sportsmen, actors, leaders, etc. all need confidence to succeed.

The test of confidence is truly a hard one when we try to be practical with our beliefs. This is because there are so many distractions begging for our attention. Confidence is one of the greatest skills a leader must possess because it helps to conquer a lot of fears in addition to conquering new grounds. It’s sad to note that a lot of people have failed in life despite having the background knowledge and information they need to succeed simply because they lack confidence in expressing their thoughts and following their dreams and passion.

Confidence people don’t follow the bandwagon. They walk alone when the world is moving in a different direction. Confident people know themselves, they know what’s unique about them. They know their strengths and weakness and above all, they know themselves. In the journey of life, you must surely go through test for your confidence to be established. So, always appreciate and value your journey.  During the course of this article, we shall be discussing how we can develop self-confidence.

A person with high self-confidence seems to live life with passion and enthusiasm.  People tend to trust and follow confident people. Confident people are not deterred by adversaries. Just to understand how confidence plays a role plays in real life, imagine having a lion leading a flock of sheep for a war versus having a sheep leading a troop of lions. Who will be respected most?

At any point in life, we’ll be required to prove ourselves. This proof might result in us being tested in what we believe in. This can be a test of faith, business, relationship, careers, and life generally. It is this test that will define and probably shape you. Let’s take a classic case of an entrepreneur who feels working 9-5 job is not for him or her. He/she decides to quit his/her job to follow his/her dreams of becoming an entrepreneur. If you’ll agree with me, it takes courage and confidence to quit your job in order to be an entrepreneur. There have been cases of people who left good jobs to follow their dreams. Some of these people relocated to thousands of miles outside their comfort zone just to follow their passion. These are some of the examples of the test of confidence.

We live in a world where a lot of people play to the gallery by trying to impress people. These set of individuals fail to realize the fact that, the best way of living a fulfilling life is by being themselves. Impressing people is like living a fake life and expecting people to take you serious. In the worlds Oscar Wilde “Be yourself, everyone is taken”. Anyone who wants to be part of your success story will support your works. You won’t need to beg for their confirmation. Just so you know, people who truly care don’t matter and those who matter don’t care.

Confident people don’t care what others think about them. They don’t try to impress people with their clothes, money, knowledge, network, and strength because they truly know themselves. Confident people are talented and gifted set of people who know their craft very well. I have seen cases in life where Human Resource managers hire people with less qualified certificates for a position over someone with certificates just because of the skills, personality, attitude and their confidence to learn and grow which the person brings to the table as opposed to a candidate with great “qualifications” with little or confidence or undertaking a new task.

The first test of lack of confidence you can see in an individual is insecurity. Insecure people always have fear and doubt in their minds. Most times our insecurity makes us seek validation from other people, but the truly confident people know that a free being is one who does not care about what other people think about him. In the words of Bill Cosby, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone’.

Let me share a true story. During my graduate program in New York Law School, I had fears of the unknown. I thought I wouldn’t be able to graduate from taxation, but when I looked back and see the people looking up to me, I told myself, I will not only graduate, but I will finish strong, which by God’s grace I did. The moral here is that I believed in myself despite obvious challenges. Furthermore, when I was writing my first book, I had fears about how the production will be, grammatical errors and how the world will receive the work, all these fears didn’t deter me from moving ahead despite many voices telling me 1001 different messages on how to proceed and not proceed with the production.  At the end of the day, I followed my inner instincts and dared to succeed. And the work came out almost perfectly fine if not perfectly fine.

If you know who you are, you won’t need to explain yourself to people. Isn’t it true that the whole world sets apart for the man who knows where he’s headed?

If people have high self-efficacy in an area, then they think, feel, and behave in a way that contributes to and reinforces their success, and improves their personal satisfaction. They’re more likely to view obstacles as challenges to overcome, so they aren’t afraid to face new things. They recover quickly from setbacks because they view failure more as a result of external circumstances than internal weaknesses. In general, believing in your abilities affects your motivation, your choices, your toughness, and your determination.

The question now is how do you building self-confidence?  I will list a few ways you can build self confidence.

Mastery experiences – things you have succeeded at in the past.

Vicarious experiences – seeing people who are similar to you succeed.

Social persuasion – hearing from others that you’re capable of.

Emotional status – staying positive, and managing stress.

Three of these sources (the first, second, and fourth) are within your control, so we’ll look at them more closely. However, while we can’t force people to say good things about us (the third source), we can increase the likelihood of receiving positive feedback by being more confident in general.

A few days ago, the internet was awash with the history of  Cori Gauff, the 15-year-old American who set a record by becoming the youngest player to qualify for the main draw of Wimbledon. She was able to beat one of her idols Venus Williams in the first round at Wimbledon. Cori wouldn’t have been able to do this she lacked confidence.

 In order to gain confidence, try practicing these few nuggets: Never try to be someone else;  Always stick to your ideas when necessary; Have a sense of direction in life; Don’t be  easily influenced by what others say; Be comfortable with yourself; Don’t seek approval from others; Groom yourself; Dress nicely; Think positive; Kill negative thoughts;  Get prepared; Know your principles and live them; Speak slowly; Increase competence; Set a small goal and achieve it; Focus on solutions; Volunteer; Exercise; Empower yourself with knowledge; Work on small things and finally but not the least get to you know yourself because when you do, you will win all battles.

In conclusion. How confident are you? Are you ready to take a leap of faith to prove your confidence? Remember the words of Henry Ford “Whether you think you can, or you think you can‘t – you‘re right,”.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with New York City Department of Correction as the legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success.

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2027: INEC Urges Oba of Lagos to Caution Politicians Against Divisive Campaigns

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The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has urged the Oba of Lagos, Oba Rilwan Babatunde Osuolale Aremu Akiolu, to caution politicians against divisive conduct as campaigns for the 2027 general elections intensify.

INEC Chairman, Prof. Joash Amupitan, made the appeal on Tuesday when he led officials of the commission on a courtesy visit to the monarch at Iga Idunganran on Lagos Island.

The visit was part of activities marking the conclusion of INEC’s South-West Zonal Readiness Assessment and Staff Interactive Session.

Amupitan urged the Oba to deploy his influence as a traditional ruler and father to politicians across party lines to encourage issue-based campaigns and discourage personal attacks, hate speech and inflammatory rhetoric.

He said: “We urge you, as a father to all politicians regardless of their party affiliations, to counsel them to focus on issues rather than insults. Let them debate policies, not personalities”.

The INEC chairman described traditional institutions as important pillars of peace and social cohesion, stressing that their influence was critical to ensuring a peaceful electoral process.

According to him, while INEC is deploying technology to strengthen the electoral process, technological innovations alone cannot guarantee peaceful and credible elections without the cooperation of citizens and traditional institutions.

He appealed to the Oba of Lagos and the Lagos Traditional Council to support the commission in mobilising residents to participate actively in the electoral process.

Amupitan said the National Register of Voters was fast approaching 100 million, adding that managing the electoral process across the 36 states and the Federal Capital Territory required not only technical preparedness but also the cooperation and moral support of traditional institutions.

According to him, traditional rulers remained enduring anchors of their communities, whose influence extended beyond political parties and electoral cycles.

The INEC chairman sought the monarch’s support in encouraging eligible residents to complete their voter registration and collect their Permanent Voter Cards (PVCs).

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NDC Condemns Attack on Obi’s Convoy in Benue

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The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) has condemned the alleged attack and obstruction of its presidential candidate, Peter Obi, during his visit to Benue State.

The NDC National Publicity Secretary, Osa Director, said Obi’s convoy was blocked by suspected thugs who prevented him from gaining access to Yelwata community, where more than 270 people were reportedly killed.

The statement alleged that the group led by an aide of Governor Hyacinth Alia, and was armed with dangerous weapons.

The statement read: “According to reports, the group was allegedly led by an aide to the Benue State governor, Rev. Fr. Hyacinth Alia.

“Armed with dangerous weapons, they blocked Obi’s convoy and prevented him from gaining entry into Yelwata community, where over 270 people were reportedly massacred.

“In his own words, Mr. Obi stated: “I arrived in Benue this morning at about 9 am with the intention of visiting the victims and families affected by the horrific killings in Yelwata. Unfortunately, we were stopped from proceeding to the community by thugs chanting, ‘Peter Obi, go back.’

“The NDC finds it deeply troubling and condemnable that a visit intended solely to mourn with grieving families, offer solidarity, and listen to victims about how to prevent future tragedies was obstructed in this manner.

“Mr. Obi further stated: “I came to Benue not for politics but to mourn with our people, to listen to families who have lost loved ones, and to offer our solidarity during a moment of unimaginable pain. At a time when our nation should be united in grief and committed to preventing further loss of life, we must avoid actions that deepen divisions.”

“The NDC believes that Benue and all Nigerians deserve to live, sleep peacefully, travel safely, and farm their lands without fear. Above all, they deserve a government that priorities the protection of human life above every other consideration.

“Although access to the community was denied today, the hearts and prayers of the NDC and our presidential candidate remain with the victims, their families, and the entire Yelwata community.

“We will not be deterred. The NDC will persist until we restore the fundamental responsibility of government: the protection of every Nigerian’s life.

“We call on the Benue State Government and relevant security agencies to immediately investigate this incident, bring the perpetrators to justice, and guarantee the safety of all citizens and leaders who seek to show solidarity in times of grief.”

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Food for Living: Trust Your Wings

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Wing means different things to different entities. To a bird, it means the ability to fly; to an angel, it means a medium of delivering goodwill messages; to a bat, it’s seen as a form of movement from one spot to another, and many more. The million dollar question, therefore, is what’s the purpose of a wing to you as an individual? To fly, to jump, or have fun with?

We all have wings, no doubt, but most people are not in the habit of using their wings well. Some even use their wings for the wrong reasons. But your wings can serve as an asset to your personal and professional development if properly activated.

To drive home how wings can serve as a tool for enhancement, I will explain using a bird. As we all know, a bird’s wing is for flying. The eagle is considered the king of the sky or king of the air because its ability to fly far above the earth and reach great altitudes represents untethered freedom, liberation from bondage, and a perspective that rises above worldly troubles.

The reason the eagle can fly is simply because of its wings. The wing does not depend on the eyes to fly; no, the eye serves a unique purpose that enables the eagle to see what other birds can’t see. The eagle’s eye gives it clarity, hyper-focus, heightened awareness, and the ability to see the bigger picture beyond immediate distractions.

The birds are not an exception. Do you know that if a bird lands on a branch, the branch does not break; even if it breaks, the bird is not scared of falling because it trusts its ability to fly because of its wings. Let me ask you a question: when a bird lands on a branch of a tree, does it trust the branch not to break, or does it trust its ability to fly? One may say both to an extent; however,  I will say the bird will trust its wings more because the bird ought to have common sense to know what can protect and sustain it, and that is its wings.

The main reason the bird won’t be scared is simply because of its wings. The bird knows that even if the branch breaks or falls apart, it won’t fall; rather, it will fly away to safety. This is how simple life works: most times, we depend on people, money, and other things to succeed, but the main person we ought to depend on is God, as well as believe in ourselves. And to believe in ourselves, we must have self-confidence.

One of the greatest limiting factors preventing us from succeeding in life is lack of confidence. Many people don’t believe in themselves; even those who believe in themselves sometimes have doubts. In some cases, they lack the confidence to take the bold step. If you have confidence like a bird, you won’t be scared if anyone leaves you. Even if you are fired from your job or experience challenges in life, you will know it’s for a short period of time and that you can bounce back.

Still on the story of the bird, the birds trust their wings to fly and not the branch. The birds know that anything can happen to the branch. For instance, a hunter may try to shoot the tree, and the force can affect the branch; a big animal with weight may try to attack the bird, and the weight may break the branch. It could be any reason.

So, in real life, we’ll be tested; life is going to test the branches we are relying on or standing on. These branches can be our friends, family members, our health, religion, business, money, relationship, academics, jobs, etc. All these branches will shake; some will disappear without warning. Question: What will you do when your “branch” falls apart?  Do you cry over spilt milk, or will you activate your wings of perseverance? Let me tell you, your wings belong to you. Your wings are your power. They cannot be taken away from you no matter what, unless you give them up.

As mentioned earlier, your wings can be your confidence, perseverance, character, knowledge, skill, or even gift/talent. All these virtues don’t come from what you are standing on. They should come from inside of you. So, don’t give up that inherent power in you. Remember, if the whole world is telling you you can do something, and you know you can’t do it, you will fail, but if the whole world is telling you you can’t do something, and you know you can do it, you will succeed because 1 John 4:4 says, he that is in you is greater and strong than he that is in the world.

In my journey through life, I discovered that many people trust their branch for approval, comfort, and sustenance; they forget that they are born to fly.

It’s instructive to note that life doesn’t offer us a straight road. Life is not tested when everything is stable around us; rather, it is tested when there’s chaos and when everything around us begins to shake. And, as such, it does not punish you when your branch breaks; rather, it reminds you who you are, and it instructs you to remember what’s always yours from the start. All you need is the key to activate your wings so you can fly. Don’t allow failure to define you. Do you see why it’s important to trust your wings?

I need you to understand that if you learn to trust yourself by trusting your wings, you won’t be afraid of failing.  Trust me, your wings are not safe because the world is safe. The world is not safe and will never be safe, so trust your wings because you can overcome any storm or challenges that come to you when everything falls apart

As I begin to wrap up, I need you to look into yourself and ask yourself, what’s the wing inside of me? What’s the wing I’m yet to activate? If you find it, please activate it and trust it. Remember, you’ll experience challenges and setbacks, but that’s part of the process of trusting your wings. So, my final message to you today is: Stop trying to fix the branch when it’s time to fly. Fly, because it’s your heritage.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to SuccessUnleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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