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Food for Living: The Test of Confidence
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By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Friends,
Self-confidence is one of the greatest skills any progressive and productive minded being must have. Self-confidence is truly priceless because it cuts across all levels of life. During interviews, one of the qualities interviewers look for in a candidate is your level of confidence. At work environments, supervisors, Directors look for confidence, capability, and competence in a candidate before any task is delegated to them. Students, athletics, public speakers, sportsmen, actors, leaders, etc. all need confidence to succeed.
The test of confidence is truly a hard one when we try to be practical with our beliefs. This is because there are so many distractions begging for our attention. Confidence is one of the greatest skills a leader must possess because it helps to conquer a lot of fears in addition to conquering new grounds. It’s sad to note that a lot of people have failed in life despite having the background knowledge and information they need to succeed simply because they lack confidence in expressing their thoughts and following their dreams and passion.
Confidence people don’t follow the bandwagon. They walk alone when the world is moving in a different direction. Confident people know themselves, they know what’s unique about them. They know their strengths and weakness and above all, they know themselves. In the journey of life, you must surely go through test for your confidence to be established. So, always appreciate and value your journey. During the course of this article, we shall be discussing how we can develop self-confidence.
A person with high self-confidence seems to live life with passion and enthusiasm. People tend to trust and follow confident people. Confident people are not deterred by adversaries. Just to understand how confidence plays a role plays in real life, imagine having a lion leading a flock of sheep for a war versus having a sheep leading a troop of lions. Who will be respected most?
At any point in life, we’ll be required to prove ourselves. This proof might result in us being tested in what we believe in. This can be a test of faith, business, relationship, careers, and life generally. It is this test that will define and probably shape you. Let’s take a classic case of an entrepreneur who feels working 9-5 job is not for him or her. He/she decides to quit his/her job to follow his/her dreams of becoming an entrepreneur. If you’ll agree with me, it takes courage and confidence to quit your job in order to be an entrepreneur. There have been cases of people who left good jobs to follow their dreams. Some of these people relocated to thousands of miles outside their comfort zone just to follow their passion. These are some of the examples of the test of confidence.
We live in a world where a lot of people play to the gallery by trying to impress people. These set of individuals fail to realize the fact that, the best way of living a fulfilling life is by being themselves. Impressing people is like living a fake life and expecting people to take you serious. In the worlds Oscar Wilde “Be yourself, everyone is taken”. Anyone who wants to be part of your success story will support your works. You won’t need to beg for their confirmation. Just so you know, people who truly care don’t matter and those who matter don’t care.
Confident people don’t care what others think about them. They don’t try to impress people with their clothes, money, knowledge, network, and strength because they truly know themselves. Confident people are talented and gifted set of people who know their craft very well. I have seen cases in life where Human Resource managers hire people with less qualified certificates for a position over someone with certificates just because of the skills, personality, attitude and their confidence to learn and grow which the person brings to the table as opposed to a candidate with great “qualifications” with little or confidence or undertaking a new task.
The first test of lack of confidence you can see in an individual is insecurity. Insecure people always have fear and doubt in their minds. Most times our insecurity makes us seek validation from other people, but the truly confident people know that a free being is one who does not care about what other people think about him. In the words of Bill Cosby, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone’.
Let me share a true story. During my graduate program in New York Law School, I had fears of the unknown. I thought I wouldn’t be able to graduate from taxation, but when I looked back and see the people looking up to me, I told myself, I will not only graduate, but I will finish strong, which by God’s grace I did. The moral here is that I believed in myself despite obvious challenges. Furthermore, when I was writing my first book, I had fears about how the production will be, grammatical errors and how the world will receive the work, all these fears didn’t deter me from moving ahead despite many voices telling me 1001 different messages on how to proceed and not proceed with the production. At the end of the day, I followed my inner instincts and dared to succeed. And the work came out almost perfectly fine if not perfectly fine.
If you know who you are, you won’t need to explain yourself to people. Isn’t it true that the whole world sets apart for the man who knows where he’s headed?
If people have high self-efficacy in an area, then they think, feel, and behave in a way that contributes to and reinforces their success, and improves their personal satisfaction. They’re more likely to view obstacles as challenges to overcome, so they aren’t afraid to face new things. They recover quickly from setbacks because they view failure more as a result of external circumstances than internal weaknesses. In general, believing in your abilities affects your motivation, your choices, your toughness, and your determination.
The question now is how do you building self-confidence? I will list a few ways you can build self confidence.
Mastery experiences – things you have succeeded at in the past.
Vicarious experiences – seeing people who are similar to you succeed.
Social persuasion – hearing from others that you’re capable of.
Emotional status – staying positive, and managing stress.
Three of these sources (the first, second, and fourth) are within your control, so we’ll look at them more closely. However, while we can’t force people to say good things about us (the third source), we can increase the likelihood of receiving positive feedback by being more confident in general.
A few days ago, the internet was awash with the history of Cori Gauff, the 15-year-old American who set a record by becoming the youngest player to qualify for the main draw of Wimbledon. She was able to beat one of her idols Venus Williams in the first round at Wimbledon. Cori wouldn’t have been able to do this she lacked confidence.
In order to gain confidence, try practicing these few nuggets: Never try to be someone else; Always stick to your ideas when necessary; Have a sense of direction in life; Don’t be easily influenced by what others say; Be comfortable with yourself; Don’t seek approval from others; Groom yourself; Dress nicely; Think positive; Kill negative thoughts; Get prepared; Know your principles and live them; Speak slowly; Increase competence; Set a small goal and achieve it; Focus on solutions; Volunteer; Exercise; Empower yourself with knowledge; Work on small things and finally but not the least get to you know yourself because when you do, you will win all battles.
In conclusion. How confident are you? Are you ready to take a leap of faith to prove your confidence? Remember the words of Henry Ford “Whether you think you can, or you think you can‘t – you‘re right,”.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with New York City Department of Correction as the legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success.
The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has denied asking Nigerians living in the United Kingdom to abandon relatives who depend on them for financial support, saying his message about hardship in Nigeria was distorted by political opponents.
Obi said he appreciates Nigerians in the Diaspora who make sacrifices to support their families at home, stressing that his concern is the country’s dependence on remittances to meet basic needs.
In a statement titled; “My Message Has Been Twisted”, posted on X on Tuesday, the former Governor of Anambra State clarified that he never asked Nigerians abroad to stop supporting their loved ones.
“I deeply appreciate Nigerians in the diaspora who work tirelessly and make enormous sacrifices to support their families back home,” he said.
“Their remittances pay for school fees, hospital bills, rent, and feeding expenses. Their patriotism and sacrifices deserve our profound respect. I never asked them to abandon their loved ones.”
Obi said his message was aimed at drawing attention to the economic conditions forcing millions of Nigerians to rely on relatives abroad for their survival.
“My concern is that Nigeria should not remain a country where millions depend on relatives abroad for basic survival,” he said.
“Our goal must be to build a nation that provides jobs, affordable healthcare, quality education, and economic opportunities for its citizens.”
He accused political opponents of misrepresenting his comments, insisting that his position is about addressing the causes of hardship rather than discouraging financial assistance to families.
“Political opponents may twist my message, but the truth remains clear: I am not asking Nigerians abroad to abandon their families. I am advocating for a Nigeria that will no longer abandon its own people,” he said.
The clarification followed backlash over comments Obi made during a town hall meeting with Diaspora supporters in Manchester on Sunday.
In a video that went viral, Obi urged Nigerians in the UK to think twice before giving money to relatives and others at home who ask them for financial assistance, arguing that such support could ease hardship without addressing its underlying causes.
“You have people at home in Nigeria today who are begging you for money. Tell them no!” he said.
Obi attributed the country’s economic difficulties to poor leadership, urging Nigerians abroad to encourage their relatives and friends at home to vote for leaders who would prioritise productivity and economic opportunities.
The Court of Appeal, Abuja Division, has dismissed the EFCC’s appeal and affirmed the ₦12 million compensation awarded to Dr. Monday Ubani, SAN, for his unlawful 21-day detention in 2019. The court also awarded ₦300,000 in costs against the Commission.
Ubani was detained after securing administrative bail for a client accused of jumping bail. Despite a court order directing the EFCC to release him conditionally or charge him with any alleged offence, the Commission failed to comply, prompting his lawyer, Chief Professor Mike Ozekhome, to institute a fundamental rights action in his favour.
On January 5, 2022, the Abuja High Court, presided over by Justice Sylvanus Oriji, ruled in Ubani’s favour. The EFCC appealed, challenging the trial court’s jurisdiction and the amount of compensation awarded.
In dismissing the appeal, the Court of Appeal rejected both arguments, holding that the compensation was justified and that the EFCC’s investigative powers do not permit arbitrary detention or disobedience of court orders.
The judgment reaffirms that law enforcement agencies remain subject to the Constitution and judicial authority. It also underscores the protection of fundamental rights, the limits of law enforcement powers and the consequences of unlawful detention.
Beyond the financial award, the decision highlights the responsibilities of sureties and the obligation of security agencies to obey court orders, making it a potentially significant reference in future fundamental rights litigation.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
One of life’s most misunderstood concepts is the relationship between process and failure. When some people fail, they think they have done something wrong, but it could be that the person is experiencing the process, or their season has not yet come.
To understand this concept, let’s explain the two terms. A process is a series of structured actions, steps, or decisions taken in a specific order to transform input into a desired output or goal. Here are the key elements of a process
- Inputs: The raw materials, data, or starting requirements (such as ingredients, customer requests, or raw code).
- Activities/Steps: The specific tasks or decisions performed by people, tools, or machines.
- Trigger: An event or demand that kicks off the process (like submitting an order or launching an app).
- Output: The result, product, or delivered service.
- Owner: The person or role accountable for the outcome.
Failure, on the other hand, is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable, required, or intended objective. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, failure can result from any of the following:
- Omission or Neglect: Failing to perform an action that was promised, owed, or expected (such as a failure to pay on time or submit a report).
- System or Organ Malfunction: A situation where a machine, computer, engine, or bodily organ stops working properly (such as engine failure or kidney failure).
- Insolvency: A financial state of bankruptcy, such as the failure of a business or bank.
Having stated the above terms, one can decipher that process is a necessary tool for success. When a process is lacking, failure is inevitable.
I recently listened to a sermon by a Nigerian Pastor. According to the pastor, there’s something that looks like failure, but in a real sense, it is not failure; it is process. Sometimes in life, when we fail in business, examinations, careers, marriage, or even when our health fails us, the reason why they all happen is that we have failed to do the needful, or we need to go through a process.
Let me explain. Let’s say one has a business; if one has not taken the time to learn the trade very well, the person might fail for not learning a necessary skill required for the business, acquiring formal or informal education, or having a form of apprenticeship from a mentor, which might be all that’s necessary for the entrepreneur to succeed. This is what is called a process.
Also, a student will need to read, research, and do assignments to pass an examination. An employee will have to learn a job as an entry-level employee and work his way through to become the Chief Executive Officer. All this involves a process.
Marriage is not an exception. There’s no successful marriage without a form of mentoring or training. A man/woman must undergo a process of marriage counseling to learn about how to win in marriage. In this training, they will learn about communication in marriage, money in marriage, sex in marriage, money in marriage, and personalities in marriage
I strongly believe that there’s time for everything. There is an appointed time for everything. When something is not in its season, don’t expect to deliver. When one puts pressure, it’s bound to fail.
I can vividly remember what my most revered mentor, Dr. Yomi Garnett, counseled me on the importance of patience. A little background about the case: at that time, I had no job. I was working as a security officer. I tried to use my connections to secure a decent job, but it was very challenging. I reached out to Dr. Yomi, whom I call the sage because of his scintillating and rational wisdom. After ranting to him about my litany of problems, he said to me, “Henry, if you like, meet President Obama, Trump, etc.; if God is not ready to give you a job, you won’t get a job”. He went further to say, you can’t rush God. When the time is ready, God will align everything for you.
According to my mentors, there’s something God and the universe want me to learn. I must go through some process of refining for the task ahead. These refining processes might be preparing for the greater task by learning what needs to be learned, or it could be a case of God teaching me wisdom or something of value that will be useful to me in the near future which I may not be able to see now.
When I look back in retrospect, I can authoritatively say my mentor was right.
Sometimes in life, we prepare for the opportunities, while sometimes, we don’t prepare. We just learn on the job. But I honestly think it’s good to prepare before one embarks on any journey. That preparation is called a process.
To understand how the process works, do you know that if you plant corn in the season that is not the rainy season, you will believe it’s a bad seed, but no, that’s not the case because you planted the corn in the wrong season. Even the bible says there’s a time for everything.
Also, someone might finish university and become frustrated because he doesn’t have a job. What the person might not know is that their season is yet to manifest. It could also be that the student might need refinement, which comes with the process.
It’s instructive to note that when your season comes, nothing can stop it; there will be alignment, and the universe will work for you. What you did many years ago that failed to attract attention will begin to attract attention and draw you in.
Today, I pray, may you command attention in your season, not after your season.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Success . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
