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Food for Living: The Uniqueness of a Friend
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Today, I will address everyone as a friend because we seem to have built a community and tribe by virtue of the engagements I have noticed over time over my articles. Some have reached out to me personally to share opinions and views on a particular subject matter while some others have been constructive on how I can improve my content. This explains why I feel honored to address you as a friend, knowing that it is only a friend who has your interest at heart that will go all out to advise or give you feedback on your work.
You may be wondering what’s behind this article. Well, the answer is not far-fetched. As a human capacity coach, I train High School and College students, entrepreneurs and career professions on the importance of building viable networks via the people they know. One of my biggest strengths is in teaching youths about self-discovery, and how they can attract value to their life when they know themselves.
We all need true friends who will always look out for us and stand for us when we are not around to defend ourselves. It’s quite unfortunate we live in a world where some people are selfish, self-centered, and out rightly wicked. In our contemporary society, we may have been betrayed, maligned, and neglected by “supposed” friends, who we hold dear to our hearts. The interesting thing about disappointment however, is that it can serve as a learning curve and experience.
We all desire that great friend we can relate closely with as a colleague, partner, mentor, relative, or even ‘enemy’. Yes, I said enemy because your enemy will keep you on your toes. The best way to seek a unique friend is to be one. The law of attraction teaches that we attract like kinds. It is just like a king who would like to marry; he will look for a classy lady that fits his position and the same is applicable to a professional lady, who wants to marry; she will look for a man with the same mindset and vision like her.
To understand how friendship works, imagine being a coach to a group of people. You will notice that it’s easier to get your team to do more when you show them you care by words, thoughts, and actions than by telling them to do their works in a sarcastic and condescending tone.
It’s quite easy to be a critic or a cheerleader because a critic sees your weaknesses and attacks your worst self, while a cheerleader sees your strengths and celebrates your best self, but a coach sees your potential and helps you become a better version of yourself.
One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to have real friends, who they can always reach out to when the need arises. Finding that friend can be difficult, but it’s doable. Some of the ways I decide who will be in my space is by looking at the attitude of the person, does he/she practices gratitude? What’s their personality like? Do they have good habits? What’s their mindset like? Do they have an idea of what they want in life? Do they have goals?
A friend is someone with whom you share similar interest, values, beliefs, vision, and worthy goals. A unique friendship is one that is symbiotic as opposed to parasitic. A unique friend is a person who checks on you in season and out of season just to make sure you are okay as opposed to checking on you when they need assistance. A unique friend understands your boundaries and respects you.
It’s worthy of note that your true friend is the person who brings out the best in you. The question now is, how can one find a unique friend? I will share some attributes you should be on the lookout for before you accept anyone into your life.
Care
A true friend cares for you and listens to your concerns without being judgmental. He or she looks out for you regarding what will benefit you. When a friend cares, they show empathy towards you, listens to your desires and needs, and is very supportive of your growth.
Truth worthy
A genuine friend is a person you can confide in without feeling guilty. A true friend is someone who can be brutally honest with you, very loyal, and dependable when you need their assistance. When you have a real friend, you won’t feel threatened to ask them for a favour.
Forgives easily
Real friends don’t hold grudges. A real friend will forgive easily for almost anything if not “everything. One of the hallmarks of a real friendship is the ability to forgive your friend or partner when they wrong you. They will try to understand the reasons you acted the way you did. It might be hard, but it’s one of the prices you must pay for the friendship to grow. Friendship is not always rosy, sometimes, it has its own thorn. It is the thorn and challenges that make the friendship stronger.
In conclusion, take time to examine the people in your life, are they leading you in the direction you will like to go or are they leading you to their destination? As you ponder through the question, just know that you are the one person today, but in five years time, expect a different person from the book you read and the people you meet.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Impeached Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Mudashiru Obasa, has described the corruption allegations against him as “fictitious and unsubstantiated”.
Speaking during a welcome rally at his residence in GRA, Ikeja on Saturday, Obasa maintained that he was not afraid of being impeached but emphasised that due process was not followed.
The former Speaker alleged that his removal was orchestrated while he was away, and accused the state commissioner of police of aiding the process.
He claimed security agents, led by the police commissioner, invaded the assembly complex and his homes in Agege and Ikeja, locking his family indoors with over 200 officers present.
Obasa dismissed allegations of misappropriation.
He mocked claims that a gate construction had cost N16 billion, saying, “Is it the wall of Jericho?”
He said: “I am not afraid of being removed, after all, it is not my father’s chieftaincy title. I am representing my people and they have returned me six times. If you want to do anything, do it well.
“They did the removal all because I was out of the country. Lagos is a special place, we cannot denigrate the state.
The former Speaker cited the case of the former speaker, Rt. Hon Jokotola Pelumi.
He said when Pelumi was removed, he was in the assembly and “we did not invite policemen.
“When my sister, former deputy speaker of the House, Hon. Adefunmilayo Tejuosho was removed, we did not invite the police.”
Obasa said an innocent person should not be discredited, and there must be proof of allegations showing exactly what he has done.
“The Lagos State House of Assembly is above common standard of excellence.
“I appreciate the members of the governance advisory council and Governor Babajide Olusola Aanwo-Olu of the state. He is my brother and he always calls me his younger brother.”
Obasa was impeached on January 13 by more than two-thirds of the 40-member legislative house over alleged misconduct and sundry offences.
His Deputy, Mojisola Meranda, was immediately elected the new speaker, becoming the first female to take charge of the legislative body in the State.
The Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) has confirmed that 38 persons, including seven crew members, were injured when a United Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Lagos on Friday morning.
The Boeing 787-8 flight with 245 passengers was en route to Washington Dulles International Airport (IAD), in the United States, from the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos, when it developed problems midair and was forced to return to the airport.
There were also 11 crew members – eight attendants and three pilots – on the plane.
The FAAN Director of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection, Obiageli Orah, who confirmed the incident through a statement, said all passengers and crew disembarked safely.
She, however, said four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries.
According to her, 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
The statement read: “The United Airlines Boeing 787-800 departed Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), Ikeja, at 11:59pm on Thursday, but made air return and landed safely at 3.22am on Friday.
“On board were 245 adults and 11 crew members.
“The team of Aerodrome Rescue and Fire Fighting Services, Aviation Medical, and Aviation Security were already at the gate when the aeroplane parked for deboarding at D31 without incident, and the door was opened at 3:37am.
“While all passengers and crew disembarked safely, four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries, and an additional 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
“The rescue team responded swiftly and effectively, having been on alert and standby.
“Aviation medical ambulances transported the injured passengers, some to the MMA Clinic and others to the headquarters clinic.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
