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Food for Living: The Uniqueness of a Friend

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Today, I will address everyone as a friend because we seem to have built a community and tribe by virtue of the engagements I have noticed over time over my articles. Some have reached out to me personally to share opinions and views on a particular subject matter while some others have been constructive on how I can improve my content. This explains why I feel honored to address you as a friend, knowing that it is only a friend who has your interest at heart that will go all out to advise or give you feedback on your work.

You may be wondering what’s behind this article. Well, the answer is not far-fetched. As a human capacity coach, I train High School and College students, entrepreneurs and career professions on the importance of building viable networks via the people they know. One of my biggest strengths is in teaching youths about self-discovery, and how they can attract value to their life when they know themselves.

We all need true friends who will always look out for us and stand for us when we are not around to defend ourselves. It’s quite unfortunate we live in a world where some people are selfish, self-centered, and out rightly wicked. In our contemporary society, we may have been betrayed, maligned, and neglected by “supposed” friends, who we hold dear to our hearts. The interesting thing about disappointment however, is that it can serve as a learning curve and experience.

We all desire that great friend we can relate closely with as a colleague, partner, mentor, relative, or even ‘enemy’. Yes, I said enemy because your enemy will keep you on your toes. The best way to seek a unique friend is to be one. The law of attraction teaches that we attract like kinds. It is just like a king who would like to marry; he will look for a classy lady that fits his position and the same is applicable to a professional lady, who wants to marry; she will look for a man with the same mindset and vision like her.

To understand how friendship works, imagine being a coach to a group of people. You will notice that it’s easier to get your team to do more when you show them you care by words, thoughts, and actions than by telling them to do their works in a sarcastic and condescending tone.

It’s quite easy to be a critic or a cheerleader because a critic sees your weaknesses and attacks your worst self, while a cheerleader sees your strengths and celebrates your best self, but a coach sees your potential and helps you become a better version of yourself.

One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to have real friends, who they can always reach out to when the need arises. Finding that friend can be difficult, but it’s doable. Some of the ways I decide who will be in my space is by looking at the attitude of the person, does he/she practices gratitude? What’s their personality like? Do they have good habits? What’s their mindset like? Do they have an idea of what they want in life? Do they have goals?

A friend is someone with whom you share similar interest, values, beliefs, vision, and worthy goals. A unique friendship is one that is symbiotic as opposed to parasitic. A unique friend is a person who checks on you in season and out of season just to make sure you are okay as opposed to checking on you when they need assistance. A unique friend understands your boundaries and respects you.

It’s worthy of note that your true friend is the person who brings out the best in you. The question now is, how can one find a unique friend? I will share some attributes you should be on the lookout for before you accept anyone into your life.

Care

A true friend cares for you and listens to your concerns without being judgmental. He or she looks out for you regarding what will benefit you. When a friend cares, they show empathy towards you, listens to your desires and needs, and is very supportive of your growth.

Truth worthy

A genuine friend is a person you can confide in without feeling guilty. A true friend is someone who can be brutally honest with you, very loyal, and dependable when you need their assistance. When you have a real friend, you won’t feel threatened to ask them for a favour.

Forgives easily

Real friends don’t hold grudges. A real friend will forgive easily for almost anything if not “everything. One of the hallmarks of a real friendship is the ability to forgive your friend or partner when they wrong you. They will try to understand the reasons you acted the way you did. It might be hard, but it’s one of the prices you must pay for the friendship to grow. Friendship is not always rosy, sometimes, it has its own thorn. It is the thorn and challenges that make the friendship stronger.

In conclusion, take time to examine the people in your life, are they leading you in the direction you will like to go or are they leading you to their destination? As you ponder through the question, just know that you are the one person today, but in five years time, expect a different person from the book you read and the people you meet.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Hardship: Remi Tinubu Asks Poor Nigerians to Start Akara, Roasted Corn Business

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Wife of the President, Senator Remi Tinubu, has urged economically disadvantaged Nigerians to consider small businesses such as selling akara, roasted corn and kulikuli as viable sources of income, saying they require little capital to start and can help families cope with the country’s economic challenges.

She gave the advice after hosting the wives of the 36 state governors in Abuja, where she highlighted empowerment programmes and financial support provided through her office to assist vulnerable Nigerians.

According to the First Lady, her interventions are centred on providing grants rather than loans to enable beneficiaries to establish small-scale businesses without the burden of repayment.

“We’re trying to give hope, and to start an akara business doesn’t take a lot of money. To start roasting corn… somebody even said about grants, you see, they’re saying that kulikuli doesn’t take much. We didn’t give them a loan; we gave it to them as a grant,” she said.

Senator Tinubu said her office has continued to support Nigerians through various empowerment initiatives designed to improve livelihoods and promote self-reliance.

“So we’ve encouraged Nigerians as best as we could. What is within our hands, I have given, and I keep giving, and those are the things we’ve done,” she added.

The First Lady also outlined some of the financial interventions she has personally supported, including ₦2 billion for tuberculosis treatment, N1 billion for breast cancer interventions and N500 million to address food malnutrition.

“I remember giving for TB when I heard there’s so much TB cases, I gave two billion (naira). To breast cancer, I gave a billion (naira). To food malnutrition, I gave half a billion (naira),” she said.

She added that her office has also supported programmes in agriculture, education, social investment and digital skills development, including scholarships and ICT training in collaboration with the National Information Technology Development Agency (NITDA).

According to her, the interventions are intended to complement the Federal Government’s efforts to improve the welfare of citizens and create more economic opportunities.

Senator Tinubu also appealed to Nigerians not to lose hope despite the country’s economic difficulties, arguing that negative narratives have worsened public anxiety.

“The narrative has really changed. The average man is supposed to have hope. So I like the idea that Mr. President said this is the Renewed Hope Agenda.

“We have to renew our hope. They don’t give up. We’re a very proud nation,” she said.

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Food for Living: Operate Silently

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Silence is powerful. silence is golden. And silence can also be misinterpreted. Silence can mean acceptance, the same way it can mean rejection, depending however, on the context and usage.

The power of silence cannot be overemphasized. It’s a strong weapon only great people understand. While most people make a lot of noise, great leaders of thought practice silence. Silence, most of the times, is a strategic weapon creative minds use during negotiation.

To succeed in any chosen career, one must move in silence because there’s no sense announcing one’s work prematurely. When one is tempted to do so, the work might lose its vitality. The success of any project is best appreciated when it’s the best kept secret, especially when the work is underrated.

To understand how silence works, try being discreet while working hard, and allow the outcome/success to announce the dedication. Personally, I find it odd when people make noise about their personality or showcase their work for people to notice when it’s still supposed to be in incubation as opposed to expressing humility about the said achievement.

There’s a Nigerian adage that says, money can’t be hidden, no matter how hard one tries. The adage further states that when a poor man acts rich, something is likely going to happen which will expose the individual as poor despite trying to act rich. The same principle is applicable when a rich man is acting poor, something will happen which will showcase the man’s wealth despite acting like he’s poor. The moral of this analysis is that it’s always good for one to be humble about life and their modest achievements.

This is how I know greatness. Great people operate in silence. They know what they want, and they work hard by remaining focused. They don’t share their vision with any Dick, Tom and Harry. They are very intentional and strategic in their thought process and relationships. On the other hand, those without understanding just move with speed devoid of direction thereby making mistakes.

Silence is very powerful. The proper use of silence can prevent trouble. Even the Bible exposed that a foolish man is considered wise when he keeps silent, and a wise man is considered foolish when he opens his mouth to speak. This literally means that one ought to know when to speak and when not to speak.

In the spiritual realm as well, silence assists to solve more problems than prayers. For instance, too often, people commit to loud prayers to solve problems, not knowing that a few moments of silence with meditation, can provide wholesome answers.

In case you are wondering how that works; did you know that when we pray, we are talking to God, but when we meditate, God is talking to us. That explains it!

As progressive minds, we ought to meditate. Meditation is powerful. There are many blessings and benefits that come to us when we meditate. Meditation helps us to have less stress, better focus, better memory, enhance creativity, reduce anxiety, and anger.

One of the greatest benefits of mediation is that it helps us to relate cordially when strange people try to serve as detractors. To understand this ideology and principle, when people provoke you, you don’t have to respond. Just move in silence by acting like you didn’t notice their actions. They will be wondering why you are not provoked to react. Well, it makes no sense to come down to the level of pigs when one is dragged in the mud. According to Michelle Obama, when they go low you go high.

There’s no way on planet Earth one won’t be misunderstood. One of the best ways to relate with the public is by practicing the still act of silence. Keep them in suspense. Let them keep guessing and wondering. Silence is the only thing people can’t misquote. After all, we would not all be here if Eve had been silent when the serpent spoke to her. Silence is, indeed, golden.

I’ll strongly advise that if you are working on a novel project, please move in silence, don’t announce your elaborate plan. Allow it to mature, and if possible, let it hatch before you announce it. The world is not concerned about your struggles or theories, rather, they want to see your results because results make the difference. It’s your result that will make your stories sweet and endearing to the heart. The only time however, one is encouraged to announce or share whatever they are working on is when they need technical or superior expertise or advice on the project. And the subject of contact MUST be resourceful mind or an absolutely trusted ally, who knows his onions.

I remember when I was working on my first, second and third books, I stayed committed to the project in my corner. Even when I shared excerpts from my manuscript, it was to people that matter in as much as they still allowed me to work on my own. And when the book was finally published, I received lots of commendations and support. That’s how life works.

In conclusion, experience has taught me to operate in silence because it gives me confidence and a better understanding of how life and people think. This is because silence reveals a lot with time, silence heals, and silence speaks volumes.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Setback for Peter Obi, Others As Court Orders Deregistration of NDC

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A Federal High Court in Lokoja has set aside an earlier judgment that compelled the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) to register the Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) as a political party.

The latest ruling by the presiding judge, Justice Isah Dashen comes days after a Federal High Court in Abuja ordered INEC to register the Citizens Democratic Alliance (CDA) as a political party.

Justice Obiora Egwuatu, who presided over the Abuja case, had directed INEC to issue the party with a certificate of registration within seven days after ruling in a suit filed by Tamunotonye Samuel Solomon Inioribo and two others.

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