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Food for Living: The Uniqueness of a Friend

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Today, I will address everyone as a friend because we seem to have built a community and tribe by virtue of the engagements I have noticed over time over my articles. Some have reached out to me personally to share opinions and views on a particular subject matter while some others have been constructive on how I can improve my content. This explains why I feel honored to address you as a friend, knowing that it is only a friend who has your interest at heart that will go all out to advise or give you feedback on your work.

You may be wondering what’s behind this article. Well, the answer is not far-fetched. As a human capacity coach, I train High School and College students, entrepreneurs and career professions on the importance of building viable networks via the people they know. One of my biggest strengths is in teaching youths about self-discovery, and how they can attract value to their life when they know themselves.

We all need true friends who will always look out for us and stand for us when we are not around to defend ourselves. It’s quite unfortunate we live in a world where some people are selfish, self-centered, and out rightly wicked. In our contemporary society, we may have been betrayed, maligned, and neglected by “supposed” friends, who we hold dear to our hearts. The interesting thing about disappointment however, is that it can serve as a learning curve and experience.

We all desire that great friend we can relate closely with as a colleague, partner, mentor, relative, or even ‘enemy’. Yes, I said enemy because your enemy will keep you on your toes. The best way to seek a unique friend is to be one. The law of attraction teaches that we attract like kinds. It is just like a king who would like to marry; he will look for a classy lady that fits his position and the same is applicable to a professional lady, who wants to marry; she will look for a man with the same mindset and vision like her.

To understand how friendship works, imagine being a coach to a group of people. You will notice that it’s easier to get your team to do more when you show them you care by words, thoughts, and actions than by telling them to do their works in a sarcastic and condescending tone.

It’s quite easy to be a critic or a cheerleader because a critic sees your weaknesses and attacks your worst self, while a cheerleader sees your strengths and celebrates your best self, but a coach sees your potential and helps you become a better version of yourself.

One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to have real friends, who they can always reach out to when the need arises. Finding that friend can be difficult, but it’s doable. Some of the ways I decide who will be in my space is by looking at the attitude of the person, does he/she practices gratitude? What’s their personality like? Do they have good habits? What’s their mindset like? Do they have an idea of what they want in life? Do they have goals?

A friend is someone with whom you share similar interest, values, beliefs, vision, and worthy goals. A unique friendship is one that is symbiotic as opposed to parasitic. A unique friend is a person who checks on you in season and out of season just to make sure you are okay as opposed to checking on you when they need assistance. A unique friend understands your boundaries and respects you.

It’s worthy of note that your true friend is the person who brings out the best in you. The question now is, how can one find a unique friend? I will share some attributes you should be on the lookout for before you accept anyone into your life.

Care

A true friend cares for you and listens to your concerns without being judgmental. He or she looks out for you regarding what will benefit you. When a friend cares, they show empathy towards you, listens to your desires and needs, and is very supportive of your growth.

Truth worthy

A genuine friend is a person you can confide in without feeling guilty. A true friend is someone who can be brutally honest with you, very loyal, and dependable when you need their assistance. When you have a real friend, you won’t feel threatened to ask them for a favour.

Forgives easily

Real friends don’t hold grudges. A real friend will forgive easily for almost anything if not “everything. One of the hallmarks of a real friendship is the ability to forgive your friend or partner when they wrong you. They will try to understand the reasons you acted the way you did. It might be hard, but it’s one of the prices you must pay for the friendship to grow. Friendship is not always rosy, sometimes, it has its own thorn. It is the thorn and challenges that make the friendship stronger.

In conclusion, take time to examine the people in your life, are they leading you in the direction you will like to go or are they leading you to their destination? As you ponder through the question, just know that you are the one person today, but in five years time, expect a different person from the book you read and the people you meet.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Nepal Begins Burials As Flood Death Toll Rises to 752

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Nepal said Sunday it had begun burying some of the hundreds of bodies recovered after devastating floods, after taking DNA samples and marking them so families can later retrieve them.

The dead are traditionally cremated on funeral pyres in Hindu-majority Nepal, so the burials are viewed as long-term storage until families can retrieve them.

Foreign Secretary Amrit Bahadur Rai told reporters that all those buried were carefully recorded, but also appealed for international support, saying Nepal needed “more than a thousand” freezer units to store bodies.

The announcement of the burials came as Nepal’s disaster ministry increased its toll again on Sunday to 752 bodies recovered and 2,502 people missing.

That list includes 589 foreigners unaccounted for.

Chinese state media earlier confirmed 16 dead in Tibet and 546 people missing following Wednesday’s disaster, taking the overall toll to 768 dead and 3,048 unaccounted for.

“Following standard and accepted protocols, such as those of ICRC (Red Cross), the mortal remains of the dead, especially those not recognisable… have been temporarily buried,” Rai told reporters.

“Medical teams took DNA samples from every victim prior to the burial so that families can match-reference later, and would be allowed to exhume for necessary rituals.”

Nepal has called for freezer storage units and DNA testing kits, as it is overwhelmed with the number of bodies to store safely.

“We have requested different countries for freezers; we will need more than a thousand,” Rai added.

“Many dead bodies have been collected, and they have started decomposing. To preserve public health, we had to bury the decomposing bodies,” he added.

AFP

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Food for Living: Be a Person of Influence

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Everyone loves influence. Everyone wants to be a person of influence. Everyone wants to be relevant. Everyone wants to be celebrated. Everyone likes attention, appreciation, approval, and admiration. All these are products of influence.

The question I need you to ask yourself is, are you a person of influence? Are you influencing anyone? Do you have a positive or negative influence on your children, spouse, friends, mentors/mentee, or even strangers? Take a minute to listen to yourself.

When we talk about influence, uninformed minds just think influence is only about money, power, authority, or even being a mentor. Influence is far from it. We are all influencers in one way or another. Many people have influenced us in different ways, some positive, some negative. Similarly, we have also influenced many people in good and bad ways.

But today, I’m here to share with you what influence is about and the positive ways one can be a person of influence. Influence comes in different ways: as a politician, you are influencing people; as a leader, you are influencing policy; as a youth advocate, mentor, teacher, pastor, and employee, you are influencing somebody in one way or the other.

Do you know you can influence someone with your lifestyle? Yes, the way you talk, write, lead, dress, eat, exercise, preach the word of God, do your job, serve people, train your children, etc., are all part of influence. Influence is powerful. It has a way of permeating someone without them knowing.  I believe that’s why my late mother would always say, if you are hanging out with a friend, only take the good part and leave the bad part.

We currently live in the 21st century, where the internet leads. The internet is regarded as the fifth estate for a reason, because it empowers networked individuals and alternative media to hold traditional institutions, governments, and mainstream media accountable. Everyone and almost everything is on the internet; however, sometimes, the information we get on the internet is regarded as fake because it’s unverified.

In some quarters, the internet has been regarded as a bad influence on the younger generation because of the limited restrictions and the negative information it has exposed their minds to think in a particular way. Some other schools of thought have opined that the internet has done more good than harm due to the knowledge it has exposed their minds to, as opposed to the information being peddled by some other schools of thought. Regardless of the aisle one belongs to, the internet truly has its pros and cons, especially as it relates to influence.

The big question one needs to answer is what influence is. According to Nosakhare Tune Oni – A Pan-African Strategist, leadership and business coach, “influence is when people trust your judgment enough to act on it. It is when someone calls you before making an important decision. When your recommendation opens a door. When your name carries weight in a room, you’re not even in. When people are willing to put their reputation behind yours. That’s influence.

Let’s take a minute to dwell on those lines again. Has anyone played any of such roles in your life? If yes, that’s the best definition of influence in a nutshell.  Influence is not about quantity, but quality.   The quality of people in your life is more valuable than the quantity of people one’s life. Do you know we don’t really need battalions of friends, whether online or in person, but just one person of influence can be a game-changer. According to Les Brown, a leadership coach, we need only quality people.

Do you know we are everywhere and nowhere at the same time? Do you also know that we can be everywhere and still have very little influence? Influence is about knowing your value and the right people who appreciate the value you bring. Do you know one can be a person of value to the wrong person or audience?

Influence is about having followers who believe and follow your teaching. We can have visibility with little or no influence. One may have 100,000 followers. We may trend on Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, LinkedIn, or even WhatsApp. Your name is a household name.  That is visibility.

Let me give you a practical example. If you have a large crowd of people following you online or in person. The critical question one must ask oneself is: why are they following me? Are they following me because of my ideology, my talent/gift, academic process, position, profession, vocation, skill, or jokes? If they follow you because of the ideology you represent, you are a person of influence. If they are following you because of your jokes, you may be a content creator or comedian with little or no value in influencing them to do or not do certain things. Real influence provokes action.

According to Nosakhare Tune Oni, influence is built differently from attention. Attention can be bought. Influence must be earned. You can manufacture visibility with advertising, controversy, or constant posting. But you cannot manufacture trust that easily. It comes from consistently being useful. Keeping your word. Knowing what you’re talking about. Showing up when it matters. Building relationships before you need them.
And creating value for people without constantly asking, “What’s in it for me?”

Do you know a person with 1,000 followers and deep trust within a particular industry may have more real influence than someone with 100,000 followers who nobody listens to.  So, I don’t think the goal should simply be: “How many people know me?” A better question is: “How much does my presence actually change things?” Because visibility gets you noticed. Value gets you remembered. Trust gets you listened to, but influence is what happens when people trust your value enough to move.

As I prepare to conclude, please take a minute to ask yourself: are you a person of influence? Do you have influence? What positive influence have you had on people or anyone? Today, I want you to be a man/lady of influence like Martin Luther King Jnr, Mother Theresea, Evangelist Ebuka Obi, President Nelson Mandela, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Dr. Kola Adesina, Dr. Joe Abah, Dr. Dele Momodu, Barr. Henry Ukazu and Miss Ginika Dike.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to SuccessUnleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Abia @35: Okonjo-Iweala Hails Otti’s Reforms

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The Director-General (D-G) of World Trade Organisation (WTO), Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, has commended Governor Alex Otti for the reforms she said are strengthening Abia State’s financial sustainability and driving economic transformation.

Okonjo-Iweala, who spoke in a virtual goodwill message at the 35th anniversary lecture marking the creation of Abia State, also urged the government to develop the “Made in Aba” label into a globally recognised brand.

The anniversary lecture under the theme, “The Rise of a New Abia,” was held on Wednesday at the International Conference Centre, Umuahia.

The WTO D-G said the Otti administration has increased internally generated revenue (IGR), reduced the State’s dependence on Federation Account allocations and prioritised capital expenditure.

She also noted the State’s investments in infrastructure and improved electricity supply, as well as the settlement of inherited salary and pension arrears and reduction of its debt burden.

While acknowledging that more work remains to be done, Okonjo-Iweala expressed optimism that Abia could harness its potential to create jobs, prosperity and dignity for its people.

She said improved infrastructure, supportive policies and strategic investments in high-potential sectors could position the state within national, regional and global value chains.

Okonjo-Iweala specifically urged the government to build “Made in Aba” into a globally recognised brand while strengthening Umuahia as a light manufacturing and administrative centre.

Also speaking, the keynote speaker and former Minister of Aviation, Chief Osita Chidoka, said there was visible evidence of development in Abia since Otti assumed office in 2023.

Chidoka, however, said the ultimate test of the administration would be whether it could move Abia from having a capable governor to building a capable and sustainable state.

He said Otti’s emphasis on education is consistent with convictions he had expressed long before becoming governor, particularly in his 2014 book, Saving the Future.

Chidoka commended the consistent appropriation of 20 per cent of the State’s annual budget to education and expressed optimism that Abia could eventually become a reference point for good governance.

Meanwhile, Otti apologised to the Abia State University, Uturu (ABSU), community over the delayed implementation of approved demands by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU), which resulted in the union’s recent strike.

The governor described the strike as avoidable and warned that “heads will roll” if such bureaucratic lapses recur.

Otti said the demands presented by ASUU-ABSU were legitimate and had been approved by him months earlier, but expressed concern that the approval had not been implemented.

“ASUU went on strike about a week or two ago in Abia State University, Uturu. Their requests came to me. I looked at those requests, and they were legitimate requests, and I approved them.

“But months later, I’m not saying weeks, months later, I was to be told that, yes, you have approved. But it had not been implemented.

“So, I want to, on this podium, apologise to Abia State University as well. That strike was avoidable. And I’ve told my people, if it happens again, heads will roll,” Otti said.

The governor congratulated Abians on the state’s 35th anniversary, stressing that governance was not about an individual but about building sustainable institutions and improving on existing foundations.

He reiterated his commitment to education, explaining that his administration’s decision to abolish school fees, including in the state’s smart schools, was driven by his long-standing belief in the transformative power of education.

In a vote of thanks, the Commissioner for Information, Prince Okey Kanu, called for the cooperation and support of Abians in sustaining what he described as the “rise of a New Abia.”

The event attracted members of the National Assembly, members of the State Executive Council, traditional rulers, members of the clergy and other dignitaries.

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