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Food for Living: Trust The Process
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By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Dear Friends,
One of the greatest factors that plays a significant role during dating is trust and loyalty. This is because intending partners want to be sure they are with the right person. Even married people are not exempted from this concern. Most people are of the opinion that infidelity is the major cause of divorce globally. This goes to showcase the fact that couples who have experienced unfaithfulness in their marriages will usually find it difficult to trust their partners. However, “according to a recent survey of 191 Certified Financial Data Analysis (CFDA), professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are “basic incompatibility” (43%), “infidelity” (28%), and “money issues” (22%). “Emotional and/or physical abuse” lagged far behind (5.8%), and “parenting issues/arguments” and “addiction and/or alcoholism issues” received only .5% each”.
This article is not focused on relationship or trust per se, relationship was merely used to highlight the importance of trust in life. The focus of this article is empowerment. We shall be discussing how the component parts’ success can enable us to reach our goals.
When it comes to accomplishing goals, a lot of people expect things to happen right away. When their expectations aren’t met, negative self-talk takes over, resulting in them giving up altogether. This way of thinking is so ingrained in our minds that we forget to focus on and enjoy the process of success. It’s not totally our fault. We live in a world where instant gratification is the norm. We get so caught up in the pleasures of the moment that we lose sight of our long-term goals. The journey to achieving goals is never a straight line. Oftentimes it is interrupted by that thing we call life. If success was easy, everyone would experience it.
We all have goals that we want to achieve but setting them isn’t enough. If you really want to make a change in your life, you need to commit to the process, wake up every day, and take massive action. We tend to forget that it’s actually the small wins that transform into big successes.
Trusting the process means that even if you cannot understand what is unfolding right now, you have an unshakeable sense of trust that the reason that this is happening is because circumstances are rearranging for your higher good. You are guided by an inner force. Trusting the process requires you to endure rough patches. The idea is to take all the best information you can, and then consistently make good decisions based on that information. Usually, the decisions work but sometimes they don’t.
In the journey of life, happiness isn’t in trying to achieve goals; it’s in knowing that process. It takes a great deal of effort to succeed in any venture; whether a new business, academic journey, relationship, or even opening a new page in your life, the process will definitely give you some thoughts and challenges because many people won’t be comfortable with it. However, it’s not up to you to feel good, it’s up to you look at the vision and what you are becoming.
It’s an unassailable fact that the only permanent thing in the world is change. As rational beings, remaining static is not in our DNA, everyone desires to grow. It takes courage and confidence to grow in life. Life is a process; take for instance, a newborn child will first of all learn to crawl, walk before he/she can run. The same process is applicable to a student who desires to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, accountant, president, etc. They will not assume the position overnight, it must follow a process. Even in business, an entrepreneur or a corporation studies the market, makes mistakes and learns from it, and then master the craft in order to reap the fruit of their labour. Amidst all these attributes, one thing is certain, every rational individual or corporation believe the journey they are about to embark upon, they trust the process will come out good.
It is very hard and challenging to continue to strive and preserve when all your hard work is not adding up, however, giving up is not an option. You may feel your hard and smart work is not being noticed, you may feel you have applied for a thousand and one grant opportunities, interviews, or even failed on numerous occasions and there’s little or no hope for you to succeed and these factors might tempt you to give up, especially when you feel there’s literarily no hope in the nearest future. Yes, the odds might be adding up against you, a great way to stay positive and optimistic is to trust the process by acknowledging the experiences as the price for success. In the journey of life, you have to maintain your lane by remaining focused on the ultimate goal or price.
Let’s share practical steps on how to remain resilient despite the challenges
Vision
The mission and the vision of any rational being or organization plays an influential role in determining how far the being or organization will go in life. The mission is basically the modus operandi or steps the being or organization has set out to accomplish a given task, but the vision is the ultimate goal or price they will like to be remembered for posterity. Vision is more important mission because that’s the main area most people or organization looks at to identify the passion and works of any being or corporation. When you have a vision, it will be great to share it to like minds, however, you have to be careful and tactical on the people you share your dream with. This is because little minds might tend to discourage you while articulate minds with biased mindsets may try to steal your ideas. Regardless of how it plays out, go out there and share what you have. People who need and appreciate your idea will come through and people who don’t see light at the end of the tunnel will motivate and inspire you. It is worthy to note that the people who matter don’t care and the people who care don’t matter. Furthermore, you might get many no’s, but all you need is one yes.
Perseverance and Resilient Spirit
In order to distinguish yourself, you must have accomplished a great deal of work which can a business, product, artwork, a unique work, skill or even academic feat. All this attribute requires a great deal of perseverance or resilience which adds up on a daily basis before the final feat is accomplished. Without perseverance and resilience, it will be hard to accomplish a task. On a personal note, when I was writing my first book, I was not only determined to succeed, I also made sure my product was outstanding. I was able to it do by dotting the I’s and crossing the t’s in addition to having the best hands to work on the final manuscript before the book was published. The process wasn’t actually easy, but I trusted the process knowing fully well all the setbacks, delays, and disappointments are the price I will have to pay. I was also very optimistic there’ll be light at the end of the tunnel when the books was published. Moral: I trusted the process and it really worked out well.
The most successful people in this world didn’t achieve their goals overnight. They had to learn, understand, repeat, practice, fall, rise up, understand, and most of all, trust the process. The biggest gains in life come from the biggest failures. If you can shift your perspective around what failure is, you are already one step ahead of the game. As Eloise Ristad says, “When we give ourselves permission to fail, we at the same time give ourselves permission to excel.”
The Value of Love
The fastest way to know the value and interest anyone has in life is by looking at how the person uses his/her time. Nobody apportions substantial time for what she/she doesn’t value. The love you have for any project or person will definitely play a role in how you associate with the person/project in question. When you truly love a person, you will overlook the faults the person has even if they are faults you cannot tolerate from another person. If you don’t love or appreciate anyone, even the slightest faults they exhibit will be seen as a turn off for you.
Love will make you give your best and make you believe it will add up at the end of the day. Even if it doesn’t add up, you’ll be satisfied you gave your best. People who truly believe in themselves stop comparing themselves to other people. When you walk with faith you walk with feeling. You make decisions based on your delicate inner whispers, the energy that tugs at your heart and calls you towards what you love.
Great players like Michael Jordan and Kanu Nwankwo never rested solely on their talents. They were famous for their relentless practice habits. Each of us invests differently. Moral: Do things because you LOVE to do them, detach from the outcome, and let life figure out the rest. It’s all about learning to trust yourself more. Don’t push experiences. Rather, let them unfold in their own time.
In conclusion, the best way to build up your confidence is to start engaging in small tasks that you’ve been procrastinating on. By achieving small milestones you will believe that you are capable of taking on bigger goals. It will build up your momentum so that you keep moving forward, despite whatever obstacles try to hold you back.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
Nepal said Sunday it had begun burying some of the hundreds of bodies recovered after devastating floods, after taking DNA samples and marking them so families can later retrieve them.
The dead are traditionally cremated on funeral pyres in Hindu-majority Nepal, so the burials are viewed as long-term storage until families can retrieve them.
Foreign Secretary Amrit Bahadur Rai told reporters that all those buried were carefully recorded, but also appealed for international support, saying Nepal needed “more than a thousand” freezer units to store bodies.
The announcement of the burials came as Nepal’s disaster ministry increased its toll again on Sunday to 752 bodies recovered and 2,502 people missing.
That list includes 589 foreigners unaccounted for.
Chinese state media earlier confirmed 16 dead in Tibet and 546 people missing following Wednesday’s disaster, taking the overall toll to 768 dead and 3,048 unaccounted for.
“Following standard and accepted protocols, such as those of ICRC (Red Cross), the mortal remains of the dead, especially those not recognisable… have been temporarily buried,” Rai told reporters.
“Medical teams took DNA samples from every victim prior to the burial so that families can match-reference later, and would be allowed to exhume for necessary rituals.”
Nepal has called for freezer storage units and DNA testing kits, as it is overwhelmed with the number of bodies to store safely.
“We have requested different countries for freezers; we will need more than a thousand,” Rai added.
“Many dead bodies have been collected, and they have started decomposing. To preserve public health, we had to bury the decomposing bodies,” he added.
AFP
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Everyone loves influence. Everyone wants to be a person of influence. Everyone wants to be relevant. Everyone wants to be celebrated. Everyone likes attention, appreciation, approval, and admiration. All these are products of influence.
The question I need you to ask yourself is, are you a person of influence? Are you influencing anyone? Do you have a positive or negative influence on your children, spouse, friends, mentors/mentee, or even strangers? Take a minute to listen to yourself.
When we talk about influence, uninformed minds just think influence is only about money, power, authority, or even being a mentor. Influence is far from it. We are all influencers in one way or another. Many people have influenced us in different ways, some positive, some negative. Similarly, we have also influenced many people in good and bad ways.
But today, I’m here to share with you what influence is about and the positive ways one can be a person of influence. Influence comes in different ways: as a politician, you are influencing people; as a leader, you are influencing policy; as a youth advocate, mentor, teacher, pastor, and employee, you are influencing somebody in one way or the other.
Do you know you can influence someone with your lifestyle? Yes, the way you talk, write, lead, dress, eat, exercise, preach the word of God, do your job, serve people, train your children, etc., are all part of influence. Influence is powerful. It has a way of permeating someone without them knowing. I believe that’s why my late mother would always say, if you are hanging out with a friend, only take the good part and leave the bad part.
We currently live in the 21st century, where the internet leads. The internet is regarded as the fifth estate for a reason, because it empowers networked individuals and alternative media to hold traditional institutions, governments, and mainstream media accountable. Everyone and almost everything is on the internet; however, sometimes, the information we get on the internet is regarded as fake because it’s unverified.
In some quarters, the internet has been regarded as a bad influence on the younger generation because of the limited restrictions and the negative information it has exposed their minds to think in a particular way. Some other schools of thought have opined that the internet has done more good than harm due to the knowledge it has exposed their minds to, as opposed to the information being peddled by some other schools of thought. Regardless of the aisle one belongs to, the internet truly has its pros and cons, especially as it relates to influence.
The big question one needs to answer is what influence is. According to Nosakhare Tune Oni – A Pan-African Strategist, leadership and business coach, “influence is when people trust your judgment enough to act on it. It is when someone calls you before making an important decision. When your recommendation opens a door. When your name carries weight in a room, you’re not even in. When people are willing to put their reputation behind yours. That’s influence.
Let’s take a minute to dwell on those lines again. Has anyone played any of such roles in your life? If yes, that’s the best definition of influence in a nutshell. Influence is not about quantity, but quality. The quality of people in your life is more valuable than the quantity of people one’s life. Do you know we don’t really need battalions of friends, whether online or in person, but just one person of influence can be a game-changer. According to Les Brown, a leadership coach, we need only quality people.
Do you know we are everywhere and nowhere at the same time? Do you also know that we can be everywhere and still have very little influence? Influence is about knowing your value and the right people who appreciate the value you bring. Do you know one can be a person of value to the wrong person or audience?
Influence is about having followers who believe and follow your teaching. We can have visibility with little or no influence. One may have 100,000 followers. We may trend on Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, LinkedIn, or even WhatsApp. Your name is a household name. That is visibility.
Let me give you a practical example. If you have a large crowd of people following you online or in person. The critical question one must ask oneself is: why are they following me? Are they following me because of my ideology, my talent/gift, academic process, position, profession, vocation, skill, or jokes? If they follow you because of the ideology you represent, you are a person of influence. If they are following you because of your jokes, you may be a content creator or comedian with little or no value in influencing them to do or not do certain things. Real influence provokes action.
According to Nosakhare Tune Oni, influence is built differently from attention. Attention can be bought. Influence must be earned. You can manufacture visibility with advertising, controversy, or constant posting. But you cannot manufacture trust that easily. It comes from consistently being useful. Keeping your word. Knowing what you’re talking about. Showing up when it matters. Building relationships before you need them.
And creating value for people without constantly asking, “What’s in it for me?”
Do you know a person with 1,000 followers and deep trust within a particular industry may have more real influence than someone with 100,000 followers who nobody listens to. So, I don’t think the goal should simply be: “How many people know me?” A better question is: “How much does my presence actually change things?” Because visibility gets you noticed. Value gets you remembered. Trust gets you listened to, but influence is what happens when people trust your value enough to move.
As I prepare to conclude, please take a minute to ask yourself: are you a person of influence? Do you have influence? What positive influence have you had on people or anyone? Today, I want you to be a man/lady of influence like Martin Luther King Jnr, Mother Theresea, Evangelist Ebuka Obi, President Nelson Mandela, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Dr. Kola Adesina, Dr. Joe Abah, Dr. Dele Momodu, Barr. Henry Ukazu and Miss Ginika Dike.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Director-General (D-G) of World Trade Organisation (WTO), Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, has commended Governor Alex Otti for the reforms she said are strengthening Abia State’s financial sustainability and driving economic transformation.
Okonjo-Iweala, who spoke in a virtual goodwill message at the 35th anniversary lecture marking the creation of Abia State, also urged the government to develop the “Made in Aba” label into a globally recognised brand.
The anniversary lecture under the theme, “The Rise of a New Abia,” was held on Wednesday at the International Conference Centre, Umuahia.
The WTO D-G said the Otti administration has increased internally generated revenue (IGR), reduced the State’s dependence on Federation Account allocations and prioritised capital expenditure.
She also noted the State’s investments in infrastructure and improved electricity supply, as well as the settlement of inherited salary and pension arrears and reduction of its debt burden.
While acknowledging that more work remains to be done, Okonjo-Iweala expressed optimism that Abia could harness its potential to create jobs, prosperity and dignity for its people.
She said improved infrastructure, supportive policies and strategic investments in high-potential sectors could position the state within national, regional and global value chains.
Okonjo-Iweala specifically urged the government to build “Made in Aba” into a globally recognised brand while strengthening Umuahia as a light manufacturing and administrative centre.
Also speaking, the keynote speaker and former Minister of Aviation, Chief Osita Chidoka, said there was visible evidence of development in Abia since Otti assumed office in 2023.
Chidoka, however, said the ultimate test of the administration would be whether it could move Abia from having a capable governor to building a capable and sustainable state.
He said Otti’s emphasis on education is consistent with convictions he had expressed long before becoming governor, particularly in his 2014 book, Saving the Future.
Chidoka commended the consistent appropriation of 20 per cent of the State’s annual budget to education and expressed optimism that Abia could eventually become a reference point for good governance.
Meanwhile, Otti apologised to the Abia State University, Uturu (ABSU), community over the delayed implementation of approved demands by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU), which resulted in the union’s recent strike.
The governor described the strike as avoidable and warned that “heads will roll” if such bureaucratic lapses recur.
Otti said the demands presented by ASUU-ABSU were legitimate and had been approved by him months earlier, but expressed concern that the approval had not been implemented.
“ASUU went on strike about a week or two ago in Abia State University, Uturu. Their requests came to me. I looked at those requests, and they were legitimate requests, and I approved them.
“But months later, I’m not saying weeks, months later, I was to be told that, yes, you have approved. But it had not been implemented.
“So, I want to, on this podium, apologise to Abia State University as well. That strike was avoidable. And I’ve told my people, if it happens again, heads will roll,” Otti said.
The governor congratulated Abians on the state’s 35th anniversary, stressing that governance was not about an individual but about building sustainable institutions and improving on existing foundations.
He reiterated his commitment to education, explaining that his administration’s decision to abolish school fees, including in the state’s smart schools, was driven by his long-standing belief in the transformative power of education.
In a vote of thanks, the Commissioner for Information, Prince Okey Kanu, called for the cooperation and support of Abians in sustaining what he described as the “rise of a New Abia.”
The event attracted members of the National Assembly, members of the State Executive Council, traditional rulers, members of the clergy and other dignitaries.
