By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Dear Friends,

One of the greatest factors that plays a significant role during dating is trust and loyalty. This is because intending partners want to be sure they are with the right person. Even married people are not exempted from this concern. Most people are of the opinion that infidelity is the major cause of divorce globally. This goes to showcase the fact that couples who have experienced unfaithfulness in their marriages will usually find it difficult to trust their partners.  However, “according to a recent survey of 191 Certified Financial Data Analysis (CFDA), professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are “basic incompatibility” (43%), “infidelity” (28%), and “money issues” (22%). “Emotional and/or physical abuse” lagged far behind (5.8%), and “parenting issues/arguments” and “addiction and/or alcoholism issues” received only .5% each”.

This article is not focused on relationship or trust per se, relationship was merely used to highlight the importance of trust in life. The focus of this article is empowerment. We shall be discussing how the component parts’ success can enable us to reach our goals.

When it comes to accomplishing goals, a lot of people expect things to happen right away. When their expectations aren’t met, negative self-talk takes over, resulting in them giving up altogether. This way of thinking is so ingrained in our minds that we forget to focus on and enjoy the process of success. It’s not totally our fault. We live in a world where instant gratification is the norm. We get so caught up in the pleasures of the moment that we lose sight of our long-term goals. The journey to achieving goals is never a straight line. Oftentimes it is interrupted by that thing we call life. If success was easy, everyone would experience it.

We all have goals that we want to achieve but setting them isn’t enough. If you really want to make a change in your life, you need to commit to the process, wake up every day, and take massive action. We tend to forget that it’s actually the small wins that transform into big successes.

Trusting the process means that even if you cannot understand what is unfolding right now, you have an unshakeable sense of trust that the reason that this is happening is because circumstances are rearranging for your higher good.  You are guided by an inner force. Trusting the process requires you to endure rough patches. The idea is to take all the best information you can, and then consistently make good decisions based on that information. Usually, the decisions work but sometimes they don’t.

In the journey of life, happiness isn’t in trying to achieve goals; it’s in knowing that process. It takes a great deal of effort to succeed in any venture; whether a new business, academic journey, relationship, or even opening a new page in your life, the process will definitely give you some thoughts and challenges because many people won’t be comfortable with it. However, it’s not up to you to feel good, it’s up to you look at the vision and what you are becoming.

It’s an unassailable fact that the only permanent thing in the world is change. As rational beings, remaining static is not in our DNA, everyone desires to grow. It takes courage and confidence to grow in life. Life is a process; take for instance, a newborn child will first of all learn to crawl, walk before he/she can run. The same process is applicable to a student who desires to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, accountant, president, etc.  They will not assume the position overnight, it must follow a process. Even in business, an entrepreneur or a corporation studies the market, makes mistakes and learns from it, and then master the craft in order to reap the fruit of their labour. Amidst all these attributes, one thing is certain, every rational individual or corporation believe the journey they are about to embark upon, they trust the process will come out good.

It is very hard and challenging to continue to strive and preserve when all your hard work is not adding up, however, giving up is not an option. You may feel your hard and smart work is not being noticed, you may feel you have applied for a thousand and one grant opportunities, interviews, or even failed on numerous occasions and there’s little or no hope for you to succeed and these factors might tempt you to give up, especially when you feel there’s literarily no hope in the nearest future. Yes, the odds might be adding up against you, a great way to stay positive and optimistic is to trust the process by acknowledging the experiences as the price for success. In the journey of life, you have to maintain your lane by remaining focused on the ultimate goal or price.

Let’s share practical steps on how to remain resilient despite the challenges

Vision

The mission and the vision of any rational being or organization plays an influential role in determining how far the being or organization will go in life. The mission is basically the modus operandi or steps the being or organization has set out to accomplish a given task, but the vision is the ultimate goal or price they will like to be remembered for posterity. Vision is more important mission because that’s the main area most people or organization looks at to identify the passion and works of any being or corporation. When you have a vision, it will be great to share it to like minds, however, you have to be careful and tactical on the people you share your dream with. This is because little minds might tend to discourage you while articulate minds with biased mindsets may try to steal your ideas. Regardless of how it plays out, go out there and share what you have. People who need and appreciate your idea will come through and people who don’t see light at the end of the tunnel will motivate and inspire you. It is worthy to note that the people who matter don’t care and the people who care don’t matter. Furthermore, you might get many no’s, but all you need is one yes.

Perseverance and Resilient Spirit

In order to distinguish yourself, you must have accomplished a great deal of work which can a business, product, artwork, a unique work, skill or even academic feat. All this attribute requires a great deal of perseverance or resilience which adds up on a daily basis before the final feat is accomplished. Without perseverance and resilience, it will be hard to accomplish a task. On a personal note, when I was writing my first book, I was not only determined to succeed, I also made sure my product was outstanding. I was able to it do by dotting the I’s and crossing the t’s in addition to having the best hands to work on the final manuscript before the book was published. The process wasn’t actually easy, but I trusted the process knowing fully well all the setbacks, delays, and disappointments are the price I will have to pay. I was also very optimistic there’ll be light at the end of the tunnel when the books was published. Moral: I trusted the process and it really worked out well.

The most successful people in this world didn’t achieve their goals overnight. They had to learn, understand, repeat, practice, fall, rise up, understand, and most of all, trust the process. The biggest gains in life come from the biggest failures. If you can shift your perspective around what failure is, you are already one step ahead of the game. As Eloise Ristad says, “When we give ourselves permission to fail, we at the same time give ourselves permission to excel.”

The Value of Love

The fastest way to know the value and interest anyone has in life is by looking at how the person uses his/her time. Nobody apportions substantial time for what she/she doesn’t value. The love you have for any project or person will definitely play a role in how you associate with the person/project in question. When you truly love a person, you will overlook the faults the person has even if they are faults you cannot tolerate from another person. If you don’t love or appreciate anyone, even the slightest faults they exhibit will be seen as a turn off for you.

Love will make you give your best and make you believe it will add up at the end of the day. Even if it doesn’t add up, you’ll be satisfied you gave your best. People who truly believe in themselves stop comparing themselves to other people. When you walk with faith you walk with feeling. You make decisions based on your delicate inner whispers, the energy that tugs at your heart and calls you towards what you love.

Great players like Michael Jordan and Kanu Nwankwo never rested solely on their talents. They were famous for their relentless practice habits. Each of us invests differently. Moral: Do things because you LOVE to do them, detach from the outcome, and let life figure out the rest. It’s all about learning to trust yourself more. Don’t push experiences. Rather, let them unfold in their own time.

In conclusion, the best way to build up your confidence is to start engaging in small tasks that you’ve been procrastinating on. By achieving small milestones you will believe that you are capable of taking on bigger goals. It will build up your momentum so that you keep moving forward, despite whatever obstacles try to hold you back.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com