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Food for Living: Understanding a Woman
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
As a Human Capacity and Mindset Coach, one of my services is centered on counseling. I also mentor youths and career professionals on academics and relationships.
Let me make a full disclosure here, I’m not a relationship or marriage counselor, but the nature of my work makes me appear as one due to my numerous videos and engagement with people. However, it is pertinent to note that, as a self-discovery coach, I try to relate with people to understand their pains to assist them in resolving their problems. I do with my self-discovery manual.
It’s instructive to note that in school, workplaces, churches, social gatherings, and homes, we are thought different skills, ethics, life training, and teachings, but we are not thought the school of understanding life, we learn the school of life in the streets while relating with human beings.
It is often said one of the most difficult people to understand is women. In fact, some people say women are the most complicated people on planet earth. According to some scholars, there are three people who cannot advise, a rich man, a religious bigot, and a woman in love. This is because the more you try to understand them, the more you get confused. That leaves us with the question, can one understand a woman? Personally, I will say yes and no. Yes, because if she lets you understand her and even at that it is what she wants you to understand. No, because you can never understand a woman.
The truth is, however, that once you understand a few core tenets of female psychology, women become easier than ever to understand.
Understanding a human being and life is one of the hardest if not the hardest things in the world. It’s just like understanding the psychology of money and blessings. Money, blessings, and opportunities can come in “mysterious”. Some schools of thought opine blessings are spiritual because succeeding in life takes more than being hardworking. An element of God factor, luck, preparation, smartness, networking, etc. play a role. This opportunity comes in ways and manners we cannot comprehend sometimes.
Above all, it is easier to understand life and a man than to understand a woman. This is because, in social relationships, men often seem “stupid” to women, and why women seem “crazy” to men because women don’t seem to understand why a man will have a beautiful, smart, loyal, classy, and submissive girlfriend/wife and he’ll still cheat with a good for nothing lady, while men will always wonder why a lady will fall in love with a guy/man who is not handsome, or a mechanic with no formal education or even someone who is a 5feet and 2 inches tall compared to a handsome, intelligent and tall guy. One begins to wonder what the lady saw in the guy. Well, it could be how he talks, how she feels, or even just his smile. Indeed, women need to be understudied.
Generally, you cannot understand a woman because the more you look, the less you see. Women are such interesting and wonderful creatures. According to Beyoncé in one of the tracks “Run the world”, she asked who runs the world? Women of course. Underate them at your peril. Even in marriage, while men are generally the head, women are the neck.
To show how complicated women are, there was a story about a man who wants to travel to Hawaii, he asked God to build a bridge to fly through. God smiled at him and told him you know it’s not possible. God asked him to make another request, the man said, he has been four times and all the women left him and he would like to know why they left him and how to understand a woman, God smiled and asked him, how many bridges do you want? I guess you get the joke.
That said, the question needs to be asked how one understands a woman? I will be sharing some tips which are not exhaustive, but they are guidelines to understand a woman.
Just like the most powerful part of our human body is our brain because it controls all our thoughts and actions, that’s how a woman works. Imagine opening the brain, you’ll get to see how the veins and arteries are connected. That’s just to give you a glimpse of how a woman is composed. You can never understand her sensing capability, her level of intuition, her feelings, her thinking faculty, how she judges, perceives, and interprets information. Women are indeed wonderful!
However, women are the most interesting people if they show you love. For instance, if a woman decides to support you, she will go all out for you, but if they decide to fight you, please appeal to God for forgiveness and intervention because her anger can go over and beyond. Just to put things in perspective, never allow your wife to buy any property in the house before getting married, because if you do, the day she’s angry she’ll take all the properties. If you doubt, wait until you get married, and you’ll understand.
If I may ask, what do women really want? This is a question many sage, philosophers, and wise men have been battling to unravel for ages but have not been able to answer. To assist them I unravel this ancient question; I have been able to put little guidelines to understand a woman
On a cursory note, women want a man who is confident, and who embodies “alpha male energy.” Women are attracted to confidence, purpose, and direction in a man. Women will see with their eyes if you are confident, they won’t ask. The question now becomes, how does she know if that’s you? Well, she will test without you knowing. If you pass, she will reward you with all of her love. If you don’t? She will lose all attraction for you. Women love to be protected because sometimes they can be anxious and are more prone to anxiety.
Listen to her: The first step in understanding a woman is to listen to her. Paying attention to her words, actions and body language is the gateway to her heart. Take time to observe her. Whether she’s an acquaintance, a family member, or a romantic partner, if you take time to talk to a woman and really listen to what she has to say, you’ll soon have a clearer grasp of who she is and what makes her tick. While men communicate with words because they are logical and deal with facts, women communicate with their body language because they are emotional in nature. When you listen to a woman, you’ll see through her emotional side, but remember, she must give you the permission to understand her by opening to you. Trust me 95% of understanding a woman can be avoided when you understand this simple fact: women care about feelings, men care about facts.
Compliment her: You must show interest in what a woman likes. You can do this by complimenting her looks. Women love to be admired and appreciated. When you show interest in what a woman likes, it gives her a sense of belonging. Show interest in what she likes by tuning into what she’s thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This is called empathy, social skills, or “game” for lack of a better term.
Nurture & Pet her: Women love to be taken care of and hence they are considered the weaker sex. Women, by nature, are nurturers while men are hunters. Women loved to be pampered. Just like men are givers, women are receivers. Trust me, if a man is not giving you, he’s giving somebody. Even if a woman has money, she still loves it when a man gives her money.
Don’t Assume: Avoid making assumptions about a woman. Every woman is literally different. every woman is different. As a rule of thumb, when in doubt. Ask questions. This helps for clarity You can ask questions about her belief, feelings, and thoughts. One of the best ways to get to know and understand any person is to talk to them. For instance, you can ask her, why did you go into this profession?
In summary, I think the best way to understand a woman is to act like you don’t understand her. In that way, you’ll see her weird, quirky, and real personality.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Former President, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, has reiterated Nigeria’s vast potential and resources, emphasizing the country’s ability to become a global leader. Speaking at the ongoing Ecobank Design and Build Expo at the Ecobank Pan African Centre (EPAC) in Lagos, Obasanjo praised Ecobank for organizing the event, which highlights the architecture, building, construction and design sectors, National Association of Online Security News Publishers, NAOSNP can report.
During his visit, Chief Obasanjo toured the various pavilions showcasing cutting-edge trends, innovations, and sustainable practices in architecture, construction, building materials, household appliances, engineering, and interior design. He expressed admiration for the high quality of work displayed by the exhibitors.
The former president called on leaders at all levels to leverage Nigeria’s resources and drive the nation’s economy to new heights.
The five-day event, themed “Building Nigeria Together,” kicked off on November 27 and will run until December 1, 2024. Sessions begin daily at 10:00 am, with over 60 exhibitors set to showcase their latest products and innovations.
Among the prominent global brands exhibiting are SABA Steel, Nigeria’s largest steel manufacturer; Coleman Wire & Cables, West Africa’s leading cable producer; Donna Spectre, a key player in indigenous oil and gas logistics; Dulux Paints, a top paint brand in Nigeria; HTL Africa, a forward-thinking architectural firm; ITB Nigeria Limited, a leading construction company in Nigeria and West Africa; and Mota Engil Nigeria, a civil construction giant, among others.
The Nigerian Police Force has denied allegation of instigating Chieftainy Crisis in Osun community.
The Force made the rebuttal via a statement signed by the Public Relations Officer of the Force Criminal Investigation Department (FCID), ASP Mayegun Aminat, on behalf of the Assistant Inspector-General of Police incharge of the unit, AIG Ogundele Ayodeji, and made available to the National Association of Online Security News Publishers (NAOSNP).
The statement noted that it was imperative to make the clarification, stressing that both the Online report and the petitioners were false in their narratives.
The FCID maintained at no point did Inspector-General of Police Kayode Egbetokun involved himself or the police in the chieftaincy tussle of the community, adding the IGP has no knowledge of what was going.
The statement reads in full:
Clarification on False Report Regarding Chieftaincy and Police Involvement in Kingship Selection.
The Nigeria Police Force has become aware of a false and misleading report published by Sahara, which claims that the “Force Public Relations Officer, ACP Muyiwa Adejobi, passed down an order from the Inspector General of Police (IGP) to arrest the intending Chief and threatened other kingmakers who insisted that due process must be followed.”
We wish to categorically clarify that this report is inaccurate and does not reflect the facts. The Nigeria Police Force is not involved in the selection of traditional leaders, and at no point did the IGP order the arrest of any individual in connection with the kingship selection process.
The arrest mentioned in the report was carried out following a formal petition submitted by members of the community. The petition alleged that certain kingmakers were engaging in acts of extortion, bribery, conduct likely and threat to life and demanding money from individuals seeking to assume the position of the Olojudo. This form of conduct is not only unethical but violates traditional practices and undermines the integrity of the selection process.
Upon receipt of the petition, detectives from the Special Enquiry Bureau at the FCID Annex in Lagos launched a thorough investigation. The investigation led to the questioning of one individual who admitted to receiving money, as detailed in the petition. Furthermore, this individual acknowledged that others were also involved in this illegal practice and confirmed that payments were made to secure positions.
The investigation is ongoing, and additional individuals suspected of being involved in extortion and bribery will be invited for questioning. Once the investigation is complete, legal charges will be filed against those found culpable.
AIG Ogundele Ayodeji, psc+, the Assistant Inspector General of Police in charge of the FCID Annex Lagos, has urged the public to come forward with any relevant information that could assist in the investigation and ensure that justice is served. He also issued a stern warning to anyone attempting to involve the leadership of the IGP or the Nigeria Police Force in corrupt practices. AIG Ogundele Ayodeji emphasized that anyone found guilty of such behavior will face the full force of the law. As Nigeria police force is not part of kingship selection process and wont parake in such act as the Nigeria Police Force remains committed to maintaining professionalism, integrity, and transparency in all its operations. We reiterate the IGP’s zero-tolerance stance on corruption and affirm that the Force will continue to work diligently to ensure that justice is upheld in all matters.
NTT Summit confirms Keyamo, Musawa, three other ministers for 7th edition in Abuja
Minister of Aviation and Aerospace Development, Mr. Festus Keyamo SAN, and his counterpart at the Ministry of Culture, Arts, Tourism and Creative Economy, Dr. Hannatu Musa Musawa, are among a host of five federal ministers billed to participate at the 7th edition of the National Tourism Transportation (NTT) Summit and Expo, in Abuja, the nation’s capital.
According to the chairman, organizing committee, Mr. Odusanwo, this year’s Summit is to reaffirm the need for synergy and collaboration in areas of operations of the tourism transportation sector for national economic growth and development, as he reeled out some of the presentations expected as sub-themes of the Summit during plenary sessions.
He further disclosed that event speakers for this year’s edition are drawn from key players of the public sector, represented by Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs), and the Organized Private Sector (OPS), as drivers of the industry.
“These include; the Nigerian Shippers Council (NSC), leading discussions on the sub-theme; “Encourage Massive Investment in Water Front Properties, Resource and Etiquette Training;” Nigeria Tourism Development Authority (NTDA), to head discussions on: ‘Connect and Explore: Trusted Travel Hub for Seamless Journeys’.
“The Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC) will lead presentations on ‘The Relevance of Directional Signs in Tourism Transportation’ ; and the National Council for Arts and Culture (NCAC) will lead presentations on ‘Artistic Collaboration and Partnership in Tourism Transportation’
“The National Institute for Hospitality and Tourism (NIHOTOUR) to lead the panel of discussants on ‘Personnel Training for Enhanced Performance and Service delivery in Tourism, Transportation, and Allied Industries ‘; while the Nigeria Meteorological Agency (NiMet) is leading discussions on ‘Impact of Climate/Weather Forecasting on Tourism in the Sectoral Planning of Nigeria.’
“The Nigerian Export Promotion Council (NEPC) will chair discussions on ‘Nigeria’s Non-Oil Export Procedures: Sharing Expertise on Export Documentation, Logistics and Freight Management in the Tourism Transportation Sector.’
Odusanwo stressed that NTT summits has since inception in 2018, offered the platform for public and private sector stakeholders, producers and consumers in Nigeria and Africa to come together, share ideas, experiences, exchange knowledge and showcase their skills in the growth, development and promotion of the nation’s economic endowments, this time, by promoting the ideals of the value chain inherent in the tourism transportation sector.
Participants at the two-day event will be drawn from major key players and stakeholders in the transportation and tourism sectors such as the airlines, tour and travel operators, administrators of the aviation industry; the maritime industry operators, road transport operators, including major transport owners, car hire and hail ride services. In addition, road traffic and safety agencies, including the FRSC, motor insurance companies; state transport ministries and agencies; rail transport services, are also expected to take part.
Others are operators of the Tourism and Hospitality (T&H) industry including, tourism resort operators, national parks; museums and monuments, state tourism ministries and boards, festivals and tourism events managers; fast food operators; M.I.C.E and destination managers; as well as, service providers in the banking, oil and gas industries.
