News
Food for Living: Understanding a Woman
- Share
- Tweet /home/rhoncare/pointblank.ng/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 69
https://pointblank.ng/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/download.jpeg&description=Food for Living: Understanding a Woman', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
As a Human Capacity and Mindset Coach, one of my services is centered on counseling. I also mentor youths and career professionals on academics and relationships.
Let me make a full disclosure here, I’m not a relationship or marriage counselor, but the nature of my work makes me appear as one due to my numerous videos and engagement with people. However, it is pertinent to note that, as a self-discovery coach, I try to relate with people to understand their pains to assist them in resolving their problems. I do with my self-discovery manual.
It’s instructive to note that in school, workplaces, churches, social gatherings, and homes, we are thought different skills, ethics, life training, and teachings, but we are not thought the school of understanding life, we learn the school of life in the streets while relating with human beings.
It is often said one of the most difficult people to understand is women. In fact, some people say women are the most complicated people on planet earth. According to some scholars, there are three people who cannot advise, a rich man, a religious bigot, and a woman in love. This is because the more you try to understand them, the more you get confused. That leaves us with the question, can one understand a woman? Personally, I will say yes and no. Yes, because if she lets you understand her and even at that it is what she wants you to understand. No, because you can never understand a woman.
The truth is, however, that once you understand a few core tenets of female psychology, women become easier than ever to understand.
Understanding a human being and life is one of the hardest if not the hardest things in the world. It’s just like understanding the psychology of money and blessings. Money, blessings, and opportunities can come in “mysterious”. Some schools of thought opine blessings are spiritual because succeeding in life takes more than being hardworking. An element of God factor, luck, preparation, smartness, networking, etc. play a role. This opportunity comes in ways and manners we cannot comprehend sometimes.
Above all, it is easier to understand life and a man than to understand a woman. This is because, in social relationships, men often seem “stupid” to women, and why women seem “crazy” to men because women don’t seem to understand why a man will have a beautiful, smart, loyal, classy, and submissive girlfriend/wife and he’ll still cheat with a good for nothing lady, while men will always wonder why a lady will fall in love with a guy/man who is not handsome, or a mechanic with no formal education or even someone who is a 5feet and 2 inches tall compared to a handsome, intelligent and tall guy. One begins to wonder what the lady saw in the guy. Well, it could be how he talks, how she feels, or even just his smile. Indeed, women need to be understudied.
Generally, you cannot understand a woman because the more you look, the less you see. Women are such interesting and wonderful creatures. According to Beyoncé in one of the tracks “Run the world”, she asked who runs the world? Women of course. Underate them at your peril. Even in marriage, while men are generally the head, women are the neck.
To show how complicated women are, there was a story about a man who wants to travel to Hawaii, he asked God to build a bridge to fly through. God smiled at him and told him you know it’s not possible. God asked him to make another request, the man said, he has been four times and all the women left him and he would like to know why they left him and how to understand a woman, God smiled and asked him, how many bridges do you want? I guess you get the joke.
That said, the question needs to be asked how one understands a woman? I will be sharing some tips which are not exhaustive, but they are guidelines to understand a woman.
Just like the most powerful part of our human body is our brain because it controls all our thoughts and actions, that’s how a woman works. Imagine opening the brain, you’ll get to see how the veins and arteries are connected. That’s just to give you a glimpse of how a woman is composed. You can never understand her sensing capability, her level of intuition, her feelings, her thinking faculty, how she judges, perceives, and interprets information. Women are indeed wonderful!
However, women are the most interesting people if they show you love. For instance, if a woman decides to support you, she will go all out for you, but if they decide to fight you, please appeal to God for forgiveness and intervention because her anger can go over and beyond. Just to put things in perspective, never allow your wife to buy any property in the house before getting married, because if you do, the day she’s angry she’ll take all the properties. If you doubt, wait until you get married, and you’ll understand.
If I may ask, what do women really want? This is a question many sage, philosophers, and wise men have been battling to unravel for ages but have not been able to answer. To assist them I unravel this ancient question; I have been able to put little guidelines to understand a woman
On a cursory note, women want a man who is confident, and who embodies “alpha male energy.” Women are attracted to confidence, purpose, and direction in a man. Women will see with their eyes if you are confident, they won’t ask. The question now becomes, how does she know if that’s you? Well, she will test without you knowing. If you pass, she will reward you with all of her love. If you don’t? She will lose all attraction for you. Women love to be protected because sometimes they can be anxious and are more prone to anxiety.
Listen to her: The first step in understanding a woman is to listen to her. Paying attention to her words, actions and body language is the gateway to her heart. Take time to observe her. Whether she’s an acquaintance, a family member, or a romantic partner, if you take time to talk to a woman and really listen to what she has to say, you’ll soon have a clearer grasp of who she is and what makes her tick. While men communicate with words because they are logical and deal with facts, women communicate with their body language because they are emotional in nature. When you listen to a woman, you’ll see through her emotional side, but remember, she must give you the permission to understand her by opening to you. Trust me 95% of understanding a woman can be avoided when you understand this simple fact: women care about feelings, men care about facts.
Compliment her: You must show interest in what a woman likes. You can do this by complimenting her looks. Women love to be admired and appreciated. When you show interest in what a woman likes, it gives her a sense of belonging. Show interest in what she likes by tuning into what she’s thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This is called empathy, social skills, or “game” for lack of a better term.
Nurture & Pet her: Women love to be taken care of and hence they are considered the weaker sex. Women, by nature, are nurturers while men are hunters. Women loved to be pampered. Just like men are givers, women are receivers. Trust me, if a man is not giving you, he’s giving somebody. Even if a woman has money, she still loves it when a man gives her money.
Don’t Assume: Avoid making assumptions about a woman. Every woman is literally different. every woman is different. As a rule of thumb, when in doubt. Ask questions. This helps for clarity You can ask questions about her belief, feelings, and thoughts. One of the best ways to get to know and understand any person is to talk to them. For instance, you can ask her, why did you go into this profession?
In summary, I think the best way to understand a woman is to act like you don’t understand her. In that way, you’ll see her weird, quirky, and real personality.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The African Democratic Congress Presidential Campaign Council (ADC-PCC) has described the All Progressives Congress (APC) Northwest zonal flag-off rally in Kaduna as a monumental disappointment, accusing the ruling party of relying on rented crowds, empty seats and recycled promises.
Reacting to the rally held at the Kaduna Township Stadium, the Director of Media and Publicity of the ADC-PCC, Kola Ologbondiyan, said an event intended to demonstrate the APC’s political strength across the Northwest had instead exposed what he described as the party’s declining public acceptance.
Ologbondiyan alleged that the APC mobilised people from the seven states of the Northwest and beyond, with payments reportedly ranging from ₦50,000 to ₦100,000 per person, yet the stadium, which he put at a capacity of 5,000, remained sparsely occupied.
“For a rally billed as the Northwest zonal flag-off, what we witnessed was a shameful spectacle. Despite the alleged mobilisation of crowds from across the zone and beyond, the stadium remained scantily filled, with empty seats everywhere,” he said.
He added that the turnout, which he described as disappointing, was compounded by what he called the unenthusiastic reception given to the speeches and messages of APC leaders.
The ADC-PCC Director also criticised President Bola Ahmed Tinubu’s reported commissioning of road projects at the event, describing the exercise as troubling and questioning the administration’s claims of performance.
Ologbondiyan further alleged that some attendees expressed dissatisfaction with the ruling party after leaving the stadium, chanting the Hausa phrase “Ba mu yi,” which he interpreted as a rejection of the APC and its policies.
“You can rent a crowd, but you cannot rent acceptance. Even if people attend a rally, that does not mean they have surrendered their convictions. The real test of public support is what Nigerians will decide at the ballot box,” he said.
The ADC-PCC accused the APC of returning to Kaduna with promises similar to those made during the 2015, 2019 and 2023 election cycles, arguing that the ruling party had failed to adequately account for its years in power.
It also faulted President Tinubu for, according to the council, shifting responsibility for the hardship facing Nigerians to opposition leaders rather than addressing the economic consequences of his administration’s policies.
Ologbondiyan particularly criticised the President’s position on fuel subsidy removal, which the ADC-PCC maintains has intensified the economic burden on households already struggling with rising living costs.
The council urged the APC to stop what it described as wasteful political jamborees, apologise to Nigerians over the prevailing economic difficulties and begin to prepare for an orderly transfer of power in 2027.
It maintained that the ADC represents a credible alternative for Nigerians seeking a change in leadership, promising that the electorate would use the next general election to express its dissatisfaction with the ruling party.
“The message from Kaduna is loud and clear: Nigerians are saying ‘Ba mu yi’ to the APC and Tinubu. Come 2027, they will speak even louder with their votes,” Ologbondiyan declared.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
If you are asked, what’s your calling, what will be your response? If you are asked what your purpose on earth is, what will be your response? If you are asked who you are, what would be your response? These, no doubt, are interesting questions to decipher one’s calling.
Finding one’s calling is the best thing that can happen to anyone. According to one of my most cherished mentors, Dr. Yomi Garnett, the day you find your purpose is the day you become a millionaire. I couldn’t agree more with this saying because it is nothing but the gospel truth. This is because the best thing that can happen to anyone is knowing their calling.
According to Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why. This is a fact. It’s quite unfortunate that many people are just existing as opposed to living. We were not created to exist, we were created to fill a vacuum, and we can only make an impact if we are intentionally answering our call.
Let’s circle back to the question I asked at the beginning of this article, what’s your calling? To answer this question, I would like you to approach it from a spiritual perspective. At creation, God called us to be something in the world, that’s why he gave us gifts and talents and told us to be fruitful and multiply.
Just like we all have names that our parents, friends, children, mentors, etc. call us. These names are reflections of what we mean to them or how they perceive us. Names are symbolic and have deep meanings if we apply reasoning to them. So, if we can answer the names we are called to earth, how about answering the name God called us at birth. I believe that’s the most important call or name we need to answer as human beings. When we answer the name God gave to us, the world will begin to respond to what we say because we have answered the mother’s call.
Why do I say this? Your purpose was made in heaven, but your calling is meant to be fulfilled on earth. It’s sad to see people answering different names they are not called. When God created you, there’s something he had in mind for you to accomplish or solve on earth, but it’s unfortunate that, due to life’s vicissitudes, some of us derail from the path God destined for us, and hence that’s the reason many of struggle because we are not working in the direction and pathway God designed for us to tread.
It should be known that your calling was not a conference call; the call was personal. If God wanted anyone to know your calling or purpose, he would have revealed it to anyone he wants, but he chose to reveal it to you, so the onus is on you to focus on it, follow it religiously and ultimately fulfill it because that’s the only way you can get fulfillment.
I also asked, what’s your purpose? Your purpose is the reason why you do whatever you are doing. In this context, your purpose is your why. According to Dr. Myles Munroe, “When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” Your purpose is the reason why you applied for a job, married your partner, started an NGO, a business, relocated/travelled, started school, or even wrote a book. There’s always a reason why we do something. That reason is the inspiration and motivation we need to forge when everything else fails.
Again, I ask you what’s your purpose? If you can’t figure out your purpose, I will strongly advise you to go to your creator (God) and ask him, what’s your purpose because he’s the person that created you. When people desire different interests in different majors, skills, profession, vocation, etc., it’s simply because someone puts the desire and interest inside them.
To understand how purpose works, there’s no problem on earth without a solution. The only problem without a solution is the problem the person with the solution hasn’t arrived.
Let me share a practical example on purpose. There was a story of an old man whose car (Ford) broke down in the middle of the road, all efforts to fix the car proved abortive. An old man was passing by and saw this man struggling to fix the car, he asked him, “What’s the problem?” The old man said, well, my car has refused to start. The stranger told the man to give a minute. The man initially refused saying who is this old man to fix what I have been working on for hours.
On second thought, he said, what will I lose if I give him a chance. He decided to listen to the old man who told him to give me a minute to check out the car. This stranger didn’t do much, he just touched a particular side of the engine and told the old man to start the car, and immediately the car cranked back to her life. The man was surprised and asked him, who are you? ” The stranger said, “I am Henry Ford, the owner of Ford Motors.
The moral of this story is, Henry Ford, the founder of Ford motors, knows his car more than everyone. So, if a mere mortal can know much, how much about the creator who will not know about our purpose?
When you find your purpose, you find your why, but when you find your why you must find your purpose.
The final question I asked: “Who are you? To answer these questions, I need you to focus on the inmate quality you are blessed with as opposed to what people think about you. What people think about you is your reputation, but who you are is your character. Some people associate titles to who they are. I think that’s the wrong interpretation. One might be a doctor, lawyer, Chief Operating Officer, professor, or even the governor or president, but that doesn’t make them good people with good traits, qualities, values and charismatic inmate abilities.
To lead one must have empathy, compassion, and heart of service. It is through these traits; one can see who a person really is and not the cloth of title they are showing the world.
So, to find one’s calling, here’s my sample suggestion: ask your creator (God), inquire what makes you happy, what you love to do, what do people compliment you on, what do you do with relative ease if you are woken from sleep? What is one thing you can do for free?
In conclusion, finding one’s calling is the best thing that can happen to anyone. The day you find your calling is the day you will begin to live your best life because you will begin to bless the world with your calling.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer, and author of Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success, Unleash Your Destiny, and The Six Pillars of Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Chief Dele Momodu, has said no political permutation will save President Bola Tinubu in the 2027 presidential election, insisting that widespread hunger and hardship will determine the outcome.
Momodu stated this on Thursday during an appearance on Channels Television’s Politics Today, anchored by Seun Okinbaloye.
According to him, Nigerians across all regions and ethnic lines are united by economic hardship, which no amount of money or political calculation can overcome.
“The common factor now is the hunger in the land. No permutation can beat hunger. The Yorubas are suffering, the Hausas are suffering, the Igbos are suffering, everybody is suffering,” he said.
He argued that President Tinubu cannot buy the entire country, even if he was able to deploy money effectively in Lagos State politics in the past.
“Tinubu believes he can buy the whole of Nigeria, but my personal belief is that if he could buy the whole of Lagos, I doubt if he can use money to buy the whole of Nigeria,” Momodu stated.
The Ovation Publisher said Nigerians had become wiser and would collect any money offered to them during elections but still vote according to their conscience.
He cited the Osun State governorship election as a case study, noting that, despite the huge funds allegedly deployed, the people voted for Governor Ademola Adeleke.
“And a lot of people will take the money like they took it in Osun State. People’s eyes are wide open now. They brought a lot of money to Osun State, but they still lost the election to Ademola Adeleke,” he said.
Momodu also recalled that Tinubu lost Lagos State to Mr Peter Obi of the Labour Party in the 2023 presidential election, which he said proves that incumbency and financial muscle do not guarantee victory.
He maintained that President Tinubu would not win in 2027, claiming that many Nigerians could not imagine a second term for the administration.
“If you ask an average Nigerian today, do you trust Tinubu to conduct a free and fair election? 90 per cent will say no. Nobody trusts Tinubu, including his own supporters,” Momodu said.
On the detention of former Kaduna State Governor, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai, Momodu described him as a “prisoner of conscience” who is being persecuted because of his political influence.
“Nasir El-Rufai is a lion. They caged him because he is a lion. Even when a lion is caged, it is still a lion. They want him locked up until after 2027 because they fear his influence,” he said.
He disclosed that El-Rufai’s appointment as Deputy Chairman of the Atiku Abubakar Presidential Campaign Council was in honour of his sacrifice and resilience.
“It is a way of honouring his sacrifice because his travails are quite political in nature. That is why Nasir has become a prisoner of conscience. He is in the hands of a government that he helped to midwife,” Momodu added.
He said the 2027 election would be a referendum on hunger, hardship and governance, and not on political permutations.
Meanwhile, the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Digital Communications, Engagement and New Media Strategy, O’tega Ogra, has faulted Momodu’s comments.
Reacting to the interview, Ogra accused the opposition of embracing “perpetual negativity” and opposing government policies without objective assessment.
He said Momodu’s assertion ignored ongoing reforms and improvements recorded in key economic indicators, including foreign reserves, power generation and inflation management.
Ogra urged opposition figures to offer constructive criticism rather than painting a picture of total failure, stressing that President Tinubu would ultimately be judged by his reforms and track record.
The Tribune
