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Food for Living: Understanding a Woman
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By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
As a Human Capacity and Mindset Coach, one of my services is centered on counseling. I also mentor youths and career professionals on academics and relationships.
Let me make a full disclosure here, I’m not a relationship or marriage counselor, but the nature of my work makes me appear as one due to my numerous videos and engagement with people. However, it is pertinent to note that, as a self-discovery coach, I try to relate with people to understand their pains to assist them in resolving their problems. I do with my self-discovery manual.
It’s instructive to note that in school, workplaces, churches, social gatherings, and homes, we are thought different skills, ethics, life training, and teachings, but we are not thought the school of understanding life, we learn the school of life in the streets while relating with human beings.
It is often said one of the most difficult people to understand is women. In fact, some people say women are the most complicated people on planet earth. According to some scholars, there are three people who cannot advise, a rich man, a religious bigot, and a woman in love. This is because the more you try to understand them, the more you get confused. That leaves us with the question, can one understand a woman? Personally, I will say yes and no. Yes, because if she lets you understand her and even at that it is what she wants you to understand. No, because you can never understand a woman.
The truth is, however, that once you understand a few core tenets of female psychology, women become easier than ever to understand.
Understanding a human being and life is one of the hardest if not the hardest things in the world. It’s just like understanding the psychology of money and blessings. Money, blessings, and opportunities can come in “mysterious”. Some schools of thought opine blessings are spiritual because succeeding in life takes more than being hardworking. An element of God factor, luck, preparation, smartness, networking, etc. play a role. This opportunity comes in ways and manners we cannot comprehend sometimes.
Above all, it is easier to understand life and a man than to understand a woman. This is because, in social relationships, men often seem “stupid” to women, and why women seem “crazy” to men because women don’t seem to understand why a man will have a beautiful, smart, loyal, classy, and submissive girlfriend/wife and he’ll still cheat with a good for nothing lady, while men will always wonder why a lady will fall in love with a guy/man who is not handsome, or a mechanic with no formal education or even someone who is a 5feet and 2 inches tall compared to a handsome, intelligent and tall guy. One begins to wonder what the lady saw in the guy. Well, it could be how he talks, how she feels, or even just his smile. Indeed, women need to be understudied.
Generally, you cannot understand a woman because the more you look, the less you see. Women are such interesting and wonderful creatures. According to Beyoncé in one of the tracks “Run the world”, she asked who runs the world? Women of course. Underate them at your peril. Even in marriage, while men are generally the head, women are the neck.
To show how complicated women are, there was a story about a man who wants to travel to Hawaii, he asked God to build a bridge to fly through. God smiled at him and told him you know it’s not possible. God asked him to make another request, the man said, he has been four times and all the women left him and he would like to know why they left him and how to understand a woman, God smiled and asked him, how many bridges do you want? I guess you get the joke.
That said, the question needs to be asked how one understands a woman? I will be sharing some tips which are not exhaustive, but they are guidelines to understand a woman.
Just like the most powerful part of our human body is our brain because it controls all our thoughts and actions, that’s how a woman works. Imagine opening the brain, you’ll get to see how the veins and arteries are connected. That’s just to give you a glimpse of how a woman is composed. You can never understand her sensing capability, her level of intuition, her feelings, her thinking faculty, how she judges, perceives, and interprets information. Women are indeed wonderful!
However, women are the most interesting people if they show you love. For instance, if a woman decides to support you, she will go all out for you, but if they decide to fight you, please appeal to God for forgiveness and intervention because her anger can go over and beyond. Just to put things in perspective, never allow your wife to buy any property in the house before getting married, because if you do, the day she’s angry she’ll take all the properties. If you doubt, wait until you get married, and you’ll understand.
If I may ask, what do women really want? This is a question many sage, philosophers, and wise men have been battling to unravel for ages but have not been able to answer. To assist them I unravel this ancient question; I have been able to put little guidelines to understand a woman
On a cursory note, women want a man who is confident, and who embodies “alpha male energy.” Women are attracted to confidence, purpose, and direction in a man. Women will see with their eyes if you are confident, they won’t ask. The question now becomes, how does she know if that’s you? Well, she will test without you knowing. If you pass, she will reward you with all of her love. If you don’t? She will lose all attraction for you. Women love to be protected because sometimes they can be anxious and are more prone to anxiety.
Listen to her: The first step in understanding a woman is to listen to her. Paying attention to her words, actions and body language is the gateway to her heart. Take time to observe her. Whether she’s an acquaintance, a family member, or a romantic partner, if you take time to talk to a woman and really listen to what she has to say, you’ll soon have a clearer grasp of who she is and what makes her tick. While men communicate with words because they are logical and deal with facts, women communicate with their body language because they are emotional in nature. When you listen to a woman, you’ll see through her emotional side, but remember, she must give you the permission to understand her by opening to you. Trust me 95% of understanding a woman can be avoided when you understand this simple fact: women care about feelings, men care about facts.
Compliment her: You must show interest in what a woman likes. You can do this by complimenting her looks. Women love to be admired and appreciated. When you show interest in what a woman likes, it gives her a sense of belonging. Show interest in what she likes by tuning into what she’s thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This is called empathy, social skills, or “game” for lack of a better term.
Nurture & Pet her: Women love to be taken care of and hence they are considered the weaker sex. Women, by nature, are nurturers while men are hunters. Women loved to be pampered. Just like men are givers, women are receivers. Trust me, if a man is not giving you, he’s giving somebody. Even if a woman has money, she still loves it when a man gives her money.
Don’t Assume: Avoid making assumptions about a woman. Every woman is literally different. every woman is different. As a rule of thumb, when in doubt. Ask questions. This helps for clarity You can ask questions about her belief, feelings, and thoughts. One of the best ways to get to know and understand any person is to talk to them. For instance, you can ask her, why did you go into this profession?
In summary, I think the best way to understand a woman is to act like you don’t understand her. In that way, you’ll see her weird, quirky, and real personality.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Digital solution provider, Globacom, recorded the highest Internet subscriber growth among Nigeria’s major telecom companies for the month of May.
Data from the Nigerian Communications Commission, NCC, Nigeria’s total Internet users increased to 157 million in May, up from 154.3 million in April. That is a growth of 2.67 million users in one month.
Globacom led the market by adding about 1.2 million new Internet subscribers. This means Glo was responsible for almost half of all new Internet users in May.
The company’s subscriber base grew from 15.5 million in April to 16.8 million in May. Airtel came second with 1.07 million new users, moving from 54.8 million to 55.8 million. MTN added 382,894 users to reach 83.5 million.
T2 Mobile, formerly 9mobile, recorded no growth for the second month in a row. Its subscriber base remained at 802,534. This is despite its roaming agreement with MTN, which was approved almost a year ago to help T2 customers use MTN’s network in areas with poor coverage.
Industry experts say Glo’s strong growth is due to its ongoing network upgrade. Since last year, the company has been building new base stations, expanding its fibre network, and adding thousands of new 4G sites across cities and rural areas.
The upgrades have improved voice and data quality for customers, while Globacom remain committed to providing better network experience and affordable Internet services to more Nigerians.
The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) presidential candidate for 2027 general elections, Peter Obi, says that Nigerians across all walks of life are suffering under President Bola Tinubu’s administration due to worsening hunger, widespread insecurity, and systemic harassment.
Speaking with journalists at St Fintan’s Catholic Church in Onicha Local Government Area, Ebonyi State, on Friday, Obi urged citizens to stand firm and resist further hardship imposed by the country’s current leadership.
Obi was in Ebonyi State to attend the burial ceremony of Okaji Okorie, father of the NDC senatorial candidate for the Ebonyi South Zone, Linus Okorie. Responding to questions regarding the alleged harassment of NDC supporters by the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC), Obi said that the current hardship transcends political affiliations.
“For me, every Nigerian is already being harassed, not just my supporters,” Obi said. “Hunger is harassing everybody. The worsening economic situation is affecting everyone. Go to any village, and you will see that people are suffering. It is time for Nigerians to tell those governing us that enough is enough.”
Addressing concerns over the Independent National Electoral Commission’s (INEC) ability to conduct free and fair elections in 2027, Obi urged citizens to focus on collective action rather than institutional trust.
“It is not really about confidence in INEC; it is about having confidence in the people. The people will determine what INEC does. If Nigerians insist that their votes must count, then their votes will count,” he asserted.
“The people should look at what is happening in Nigeria and ask themselves: What is the future of our children in this enterprise called Nigeria? Are we going to continue in this direction?”
Obi noted that advocating for real change in the current political climate requires tremendous courage.
“Anyone talking about change in Nigeria today is making the ultimate sacrifice because we cannot continue like this. Every single day, poverty is increasing; every single day, hunger is increasing,” he noted.
“The World Bank recently reported that poverty has risen to almost 79 per cent from about 51 per cent when this government came into office. But you do not even need a World Bank report to know what is happening. Go to the villages and see for yourself.”
“Millions more Nigerians are facing hunger. So, what are we going to do about it? Are we going to continue like this? No.”
Turning to his host, Obi described Okorie as a steadfast ally and dependable partner, highlighting their shared political journey across party lines.
“This is not the first time Hon. Linus Okorie and I are working together. We worked together in the Labour Party, and now we are together in the NDC. That underscores the strength of our relationship,” Obi said.
“However, we are here today to pay our last respects to his late father. We pray that God Almighty, who blessed Papa with a long and fruitful life, will grant him eternal rest in His kingdom and give the family the fortitude to bear this irreparable loss.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The beginning of any journey is usually the hardest part. It is usually hard to take the bold step. Whether you are applying for a job, writing a book, starting a new business, getting married or even applying for school, there’s always the tendency to ask yourself mind-boggling questions such as; Will I succeed? Will I be accepted? This is among many others.
When progressive minds encounter this challenge, they are not afraid of taking the first step, they are merely concerned about the big picture, and not what they are currently experiencing. One of the big differences between great people and lesser minds is the ability for great people to take strategic risks, while lesser minds stay in their comfort zone.
On a personal note, I can relate to the journey of greatness when I began writing my first book. In all sincerity, I didn’t know what I was writing. All I knew was that I was putting down whatever comes to my mind provided I found it reasonable and relatable. At the end of the day, I found a proficient and efficient editor who was kind enough to work on the book and it became a trailblazer.
The moral is that I doubted myself many times if I had the capacity to write a book. I was literally afraid of beginning, but immediately I began writing, the universe began to conspire with me to make the work fruitful. Today, when I look back, I’m glad I took the bold step. I say this because just because of one book, I received national and global attention in addition to appearing on television and meeting gatekeepers and resource people.
The same principle is applicable when I began my first business. I didn’t know what to focus on and how to develop bossiness. All I knew was that I’m a motivator and counselor who likes to help youths and career professionals on proactive ways to succeed in their personal and professional lives. After attending a series of training courses, workshops, webinars, and several conferences, I began to have clarity about my business. I remember when I first started, I told the world that I can build a website just because my uncle assisted in using a free tool to build my website.
Why am I sharing this information? The same business I didn’t know how to structure is now registered with the highest certification from the Office of the Governor of New York to do business with any New York City agency. It now has a Chief Operating Officer, Social media manager, IT personnel and an exceptional Director of Partnership who works as a consultant. The company has also partnered with the United Nations Development Programme and has received awards.
All this is because I took the bold step to start a business. Sometimes in life, you don’t know what lies ahead when one takes the bold step.
According to Dr. Yomi Garnet, a proficient Ghost Writer, “If a book is tiled A synopsis of successful living were to be written, it would in all probability contain the following chapters:
1. Identify your talents, (use then to glory God and to benefit of humanity)
2. Have faith in the favor of God,
3. Engage in proper planning
4. 10% belongs to God
5. Give, give and keep in giving
Let’s take a minute to elaborate on this chapter:
1. Identify your talent: Before you begin any project, one must know who they are, what they have and what problems they want to solve. They also must take into consideration whether they have the capacity, competence and capability of doing the business. One thing is certain, they are using their skills, talent, and knowledge to solve a problem
2. Have faith in God:
Taking the first step entails having faith in yourself, in your business and most importantly in God. Without faith in oneself, in the business and in God, it will be difficult for one to succeed. Taking the first set entails believing in the possibility of the future.
3. Engaging in Proper planning:
It’s instructive to note that failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Before anyone begins any task, it’s important for one to sit back and ask oneself if they have all they need to set up the business. This entails setting up a structure for the business, getting the right people, offering services and setting up the mission and vision statement of the company
4. 10% belongs to God
This is Biblical instruction which is part of the spiritual blessings of doing business. No one succeeds on their own. They either have an altar working for them or they have human beings as networks, benefactors, and resource persons recommending them for opportunities. Alternatively, these acts of tithe giving can also refer to Corporate Social Responsibility which is tantamount to giving back to society.
5. Give, give and keep giving.
This is another spiritual blessing. We are quite familiar with the saying, the giver never lacks, however, it’s important to note that when one gives without wisdom and accountability, one might run dry. So, it’s imperatively important for one to give with discretion, otherwise, one will be exhausted. It’s instructive to note that nobody receives with a clenched fist and the giver’s hand is always on top. If you want to receive it, please give. This giving aspect is made possible because someone took the first step to start a business which made it possible for the art of giving to take place.
In conclusion, if you desire to start a business, or have inspiration, just start, the universe has a way of conspiring with the world to support you to birth your passion, idea or vision. I say this because the worst you’ll want to do towards the end of life is to live in regret. So, I say, just begin. Whether you fail, it’s irrelevant because you are gaining and showing perseverance for the cause you believe in. At the end of theer day, we shall all tell our stories.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design, Unleash Your Destiny and The Six Pillars of Succes . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
