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Food for Living: Understanding Yourself
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Followers,
The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others.” – Erik Erikson
One of the best things to happen to any individual is the ability to know himself.
If you are asked, who you are. What will be your response? To truly understand yourself, one must be able to know his strength, weakness, passion, interest, vision, and most importantly, what he represents or stands for.
Just like life is a continuous learning process, understanding oneself is a life journey. We never get to fully understand ourselves and our capability. That is why when we achieve an uncommon feat, we are literally humbled. Again, when we are faced with a dare-devil situation like being broke, provoked, bullied, etc., one will be surprised to notice how he may react. It is therefore, difficult to say ‘I know myself’ because actions and reactions may sometimes differ.
As a Human Capacity Coach, my focus is to help every rational being discover their innate ability because it is only when they understand their innate ability, that they will be able to unleash their potential. It is important to state that we are all different and endowed with certain alienable gifts, talents and skills. Your duty is to uncover all the hidden potentials you have. Nobody knows you more than you know yourself. If you feel you have potential, dreams, goals, and inexplicable passion to birth a goal, but don’t know how to actualize, I will strongly advise you to find a coach to help you actualize it.
One of the worst feelings anyone can ever have is to live in regret. The greatest challenge most people have is that though they are truly inspired listening to great speakers, mentors, leaders, pastors, etc. they lack the implementation strategy, which is why we all need a coach.
Understanding oneself comes in different dimensions. A man/woman will not say he/she has fully and truly understood themselves until they marry. Sometimes, you may not know your potential until you have an encounter with a life-transforming coach, mentor, or with God who literally open your eyes to see a new version of yourself. To understand how understanding oneself really works, imagine being in a room with total darkness and the light is turned on, your countenance, feeling, focus, vision, understanding will be totally different because you’ll derive an uncommon strength from the light. That’s how you know the level of potential and capabilities in you when you understand yourself.
Understanding oneself, in the simplest of terms, is illuminating your lie positively.
The question now becomes how does one understands himself. I will be sharing some tips to guide you.
Know your purpose
Your mission on planet earth is for a purpose. You have an assignment and divine mandate to fulfill your purpose. You can’t be existing instead of living. It’s sad to note that the graveyard is the richest place on planet earth because that’s where many talents are buried. There are many dynamics to finding your purpose. To discover your purpose, you can reach out to your creator, listen to yourself, and know what you are not comfortable with in the world.
Take personality test
Some people find this resourceful. There are several tests available. I don’t know if it truly works. But you can consider giving it a try. For instance, the “Myers-Briggs Personality type theory says that all people have one of sixteen different basic personalities. These personalities can predict how you interact with people, the kinds of interpersonal problems and strengths that you have, and what kind of environment you live and work in best”.
Be vulnerable
Vulnerability is truly underrated in our society. Only strong people and leaders are willing to share their weaknesses, experience, and failures. You are not truly free until you have lived your life without caring what other people are saying. On your journey of life, you don’t have to be hard on yourself. Give yourself the permission to explore new things by taking risks and you’ll understand who you are and what you are capable of doing.
Many people expect too much from themselves and when they don’t achieve their set targets and goals in life, they feel they are failures. This shouldn’t be the case. It’s your life and nobody’s life. So, live it to the fullest. Tomorrow your mistakes will serve as an experience and learning curve. You’ll even laugh at them when you reflect. So, relax and enjoy the moments by traveling, getting an education, and having fewer expectations from people. Life is too short to live in regrets.
Be yourself
Don’t try to be like others. You must come to the realization that not everyone is going to like you. According to Oscar Wilde, be yourself, others are taken. Don’t try to fit in. Be the original version of yourself. This might be hard, but when you are your authentic self, your original friends will come close to you because they resonate with your work, but you when are fake, your original friends who are supposed to add value to your work will depart, and only fake people will resonate with you. Trust me, being fake is expensive while being true to yourself is cheap because you don’t have to spend or please anyone.
Do what makes you happy
One of the best ways to know oneself is by engaging in acts that make one happy. If I may ask you, what are your hobbies, what is the one thing you can do for free even if you are not paid for it?
How do you react?
It is widely stated that circumstances don’t say who you are, they reveal who you are. It’s not always right to assert how we’ll react when we are faced with different situations, because our reactions might be different when the occasion or situation rears its ugly head. One of the ways to know a man is to give him power, money, and riches. If he is able to overcome the pressures and temptations by managing them without them managing him, he’s truly a man.
In conclusion, regardless of what you may have experienced in life, don’t be hard on yourself; forgive yourself and if you feel you need someone to assist you in working through life, understanding oneself and how to unleash your potential by overcoming the challenges, setbacks, and failures of life, I’m here to assist you.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Impeached Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Mudashiru Obasa, has described the corruption allegations against him as “fictitious and unsubstantiated”.
Speaking during a welcome rally at his residence in GRA, Ikeja on Saturday, Obasa maintained that he was not afraid of being impeached but emphasised that due process was not followed.
The former Speaker alleged that his removal was orchestrated while he was away, and accused the state commissioner of police of aiding the process.
He claimed security agents, led by the police commissioner, invaded the assembly complex and his homes in Agege and Ikeja, locking his family indoors with over 200 officers present.
Obasa dismissed allegations of misappropriation.
He mocked claims that a gate construction had cost N16 billion, saying, “Is it the wall of Jericho?”
He said: “I am not afraid of being removed, after all, it is not my father’s chieftaincy title. I am representing my people and they have returned me six times. If you want to do anything, do it well.
“They did the removal all because I was out of the country. Lagos is a special place, we cannot denigrate the state.
The former Speaker cited the case of the former speaker, Rt. Hon Jokotola Pelumi.
He said when Pelumi was removed, he was in the assembly and “we did not invite policemen.
“When my sister, former deputy speaker of the House, Hon. Adefunmilayo Tejuosho was removed, we did not invite the police.”
Obasa said an innocent person should not be discredited, and there must be proof of allegations showing exactly what he has done.
“The Lagos State House of Assembly is above common standard of excellence.
“I appreciate the members of the governance advisory council and Governor Babajide Olusola Aanwo-Olu of the state. He is my brother and he always calls me his younger brother.”
Obasa was impeached on January 13 by more than two-thirds of the 40-member legislative house over alleged misconduct and sundry offences.
His Deputy, Mojisola Meranda, was immediately elected the new speaker, becoming the first female to take charge of the legislative body in the State.
The Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) has confirmed that 38 persons, including seven crew members, were injured when a United Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Lagos on Friday morning.
The Boeing 787-8 flight with 245 passengers was en route to Washington Dulles International Airport (IAD), in the United States, from the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos, when it developed problems midair and was forced to return to the airport.
There were also 11 crew members – eight attendants and three pilots – on the plane.
The FAAN Director of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection, Obiageli Orah, who confirmed the incident through a statement, said all passengers and crew disembarked safely.
She, however, said four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries.
According to her, 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
The statement read: “The United Airlines Boeing 787-800 departed Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), Ikeja, at 11:59pm on Thursday, but made air return and landed safely at 3.22am on Friday.
“On board were 245 adults and 11 crew members.
“The team of Aerodrome Rescue and Fire Fighting Services, Aviation Medical, and Aviation Security were already at the gate when the aeroplane parked for deboarding at D31 without incident, and the door was opened at 3:37am.
“While all passengers and crew disembarked safely, four passengers and two crew members sustained serious injuries, and an additional 27 passengers and five crew members had minor injuries.
“The rescue team responded swiftly and effectively, having been on alert and standby.
“Aviation medical ambulances transported the injured passengers, some to the MMA Clinic and others to the headquarters clinic.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that human beings by nature are insatiable. When we get one opportunity, we always look for another. When we attain one height, we always look for another accomplishment. Isn’t it true that the end of one mountain is the beginning of another.
However, I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone to dare to succeed.
Being ambitious doesn’t make one an opportunist or disloyal. It all depends on one’s perception or outlook to life. It’s just natural for one to dream big. It’s only ugly when the process one chooses to achieve his desires becomes dirty and nasty.
According to a former Nigerian presidential candidate and seasoned Economist, Mr. Peter Obi, “if you must be referred to as “Your Excellency”, then the process through which you arrived in office must be excellent”.
If you desire to be reckoned with on the journey of existence, you must be legitimately hungry for success. One’s hunger for success will facilitate the drive to accomplish great tasks despite daunting obstacles posing as challenges.
When one has this mindset, one will not be bothered by the noise which serves as obstacles and challenges along the way. Negative and weak minds are always concerned on why something won’t work. They tend to focus their energy and reasons on the obstacles facing them. But great and productive minds always focus their energy on the reasons why it will work. This is the spirit of an insatiable mind who is a goal- getter.
It’s instructive to note that we can’t please everyone. According to Bill Cosby, a famous actor, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Isn’t it true that when you talk, people will still talk about you, when you don’t talk, people will talk about you, so whether you talk or not, people will still judge you, so, do what’s best for you. There’s nothing you can do to please human beings. Your best option is to live your best life.
To understand how the insatiable nature of man works, one must be oneself. You don’t have to “please” anyone. Be yourself, and don’t try to be like anyone just to curry favour. It’s important to note that when you are yourself, the people that matter will come through for you, and the people that don’t matter will gradually find the bearing in another space because those that truly care don’t bother and those that bother don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Life has truly taught me to focus on the important things of life as opposed to the mundane things. It’s truly sad to see people spending more time on the little things of life, and spending little time on the important things of life. That’s just a misplaced priority.
When you are yourself, the best people can do is to copy or imitate your style. They can never imitate your creativity nor can take your originality from you.
We live in a world or society where people don’t generally care or show empathy. Most people tend to live around themselves, their family, and close associates. They generally find it hard to lift a finger to assist others for reasons best known to them. Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka once said, “we live in a wicked generation”, re-echoing the voices of a lot of people of the world. Some people in authority just have criminal expertise in amassing wealth of opportunities meant for the citizens without thinking of the citizens they are meant to serve.
It’s worthy of note that not everyone will like you nor support your work, but when you find people who truly care about you; please hold them tight. This is because despite having family members you have shown love and compassion, they might not still appreciate you even if you lay your life for them, they will still find something to say. Again, this is the insatiable nature of man.
It’s okay for everyone not to like you, normalize living your life for God, yourself, family and those that care about you. If everyone likes you, you have a problem.
Did you know that you can get a new family from friends, strangers, and acquaintances? These sets of people might appreciate you more than your own family members. They might not demand or under appreciate you like your family members and close friends or associates. Any little support you give them will be highly appreciated. Their focus is to see you do better.
In conclusion, as you desire to succeed in life, never give in to failure until you have made your last attempt, and never make your last attempt until you succeed. This literally means whatever you desire, dream it, think it, say it, and believe you can achieve it. This principle is generally applicable to relationships, businesses, family, personal and professional development.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
